Wedding in Bessarabia (2009) - full transcript

BESSARABIA,
the eastern part of the old Moldavia,

was incorporated
by the Russian Empire in 1812.

Towards the end of WW I it became
independent and united with Romania.

During WW II an agreement
between Hitler and Stalin

brought it under soviet control.

Today, 1/3 of its territory belongs to
Ukraine and 2/3 to the Republic of Moldova.

Will you stop bossing me around?

Why did you call me a silly goose
in front of your mother and Johnny?

I said little goose...

because I always have to explain
things to you 1,000 times.

- What things?
- That I don't like frankfurters! 1001.



Hey, take it somewhere else, will you?

- I paid for those frankfurters.
- I'll pay you back.

- So pay me!
- In my own time!

- Stop playing Stalin! Ponimayesh?
- I said, pay!

- Here!
- Idiot!

You hate cheese too, but you eat it
when it's from your mother!

I always eat my mother's food,
it has no artificial flavours.

- Your mother always comes first.
- You're in third place.

My baton, my mother, then you. 1002.

Turn that soap opera down!

Go to sleep, pops, will you?
Stop looking for trouble!

- I'll just have a cigarette, please!
- No! You're not going anywhere.

- You promised we'd start saving money!
- Along the Don

Don't touch my face, you idiot!



- Don't hold me so tight!...
- Along the Don

- I'll just go have a cigarette!
- No way!

Along the Don

A young Cossack is walking...

Don't ever touch my face again!

- Idiot!
- Hey!

Just one beer and you're
so aggressive? You drunkard!

Pops, aren't you sleepy?
Isn't it bedtime already?

Hey, Vlad, remember: never give in!

I want you to apologise for
calling me an idiot and a drunkard!

You should apologise
for calling me a silly goose!

I said little goose.

You don't love me.

So divorce me...

- Do you want walnut-stuffed plums?
- Have you been wasting money again?

I made them myself!

Can you make walnut-stuffed plums?

You fool! I'll eat them myself.

Stop staring at me like that!

You know I like to look at you.

Who's more beautiful, me or your mother?

Third place.

Well, third place is off-limits
for the next three days.

You must be joking!...

Good morning!

Any drugs? Weapons?
Valuables? Jewellery?

We're just prospecting the market.
We'll bring them next time.

Shall I have a look inside your
luggage and see for myself?

Come on, Miss, that was a joke!
We're good guys, tourists.

- Any money exceeding the limit?
- What's the limit?

10,000 euros per person,
no documents required.

- And for the return trip?
- The same.

- Thank you!
- Just a second!

You never know,
you might come to Romania!...

- Have a good trip and a nice stay!
- Thank you!

So, Vica, what's the story
with the rails again?

I still don't get how they
change the train wheels.

There are 2 sets of rails:
yours are narrow, ours are wide.

They lift the carriage and change
the wheels - and that's all.

Hey, maestro!

If the border police looks like that,
imagine the chicks in Kishinev!

Can I see your passports, please?

Is it OK if I tape you?

Let me see that doily, sis!

It's a gift for our relatives.

- Did you bring your folk costume?
- I brought your grandma's.

The one with the butterflies
or the one with the beads?

Butterflies. I want them to see
we keep the tradition.

Can you look at me, please?

"A real son of a gun, that Stalin!" -
like your father said. God forgive him!

- Forgive Dad or Stalin?
- Your father.

How did he get that idea
with the different wheels?

Welcome home!
Are you travelling together?

Yes. This is my husband,
his mother, and his uncle.

Johnny Scarlat, talent agent.

What's the purpose of your visit
to the Republic of Moldova?

WEDDING IN BESSARABIA

Yup! The Transnistrian guy
wouldn't let me have the tent

unless I rented a Katyusha too.

I mean, what was I supposed
to do with it?

I needed a tent, not war gear.
But he kept saying "Niet, niet."

Apparently, that's the rule:
One tent - one Katyusha.

So I said, "Can't you let me have it
without the Katyusha?". "Niet!"

Good thing he didn't give me
a tank and two paramedics...

Senia, our guests might be tired!
Let's get going, shall we?

Let's go, brother!

I said, "Man, I need a tent,
not a military base..."

So did you get a tent eventually?

Valera got us a restaurant.

That's Kotovsky's monument there!

A Soviet outlaw, a clever bandit.

He could speak
seven foreign languages, poor guy!

- How much is the restaurant?
- It's for free.

Valera knows the owner.

That's the Romanian Consulate! They're
queuing for bloody European visas.

I don't see so many of them...

What do you mean? Look at them
sleeping on cartons there!

- How are Mum and Dad?
- They're fine. Otto's been ill.

Turn here!

Yes!... Yes!... Got it!...

Goodbye, Valera!

Honoured Romanian guests, let me
show you some of our landmarks!

Just look at our
beautiful little Kishinev!

That's the Mihai Eminescu
National Theatre!

The Organ Hall.

The City Hall.

The Metropolitan Cathedral.

The Triumphal Arch.

The Holy Stefan the Great monument.

The Presidential Office.

The Flower Market.

The Metropolitan Cathedral.

The Holy Stefan the Great Monument!...

Our capital is very green.

There are very beautiful
little houses here!

A kindergarten.

The asphalt is quite good here.

Hey, Senia, what's with all
these billboards in Russian?

Isn't Bessarabia independent?

We're just cooler than you and
we can speak 2 languages:

Moldavian, which is almost...
which is the same as Romanian,

and Russian,
which we can use everywhere.

Can Russians speak Romanian too?

About as well as Romanians
can speak Russian.

But Bessarabians can speak
both Romanian and Russian.

Period. Hurrah!

The city gate.

Those two buildings
look like an open gate.

The Dacia Boulevard.
It's really broad!...

The Eternity Memorial.

Another kindergarten.

The Moscow Boulevard.

The Afghanistan heroes' monument.

And this, dear guests,
is your neighborhood!

Come on, Mr. Johnny!

Hold this for me, will you?

Vica, you and Vlad and his mother
will be staying with your parents!

The European big brother
is going to stay at my place.

Valera says welcome.

He's got some business, so
he won't join you for dinner.

Let's go, Mr. Johnny!

Hello Mother!

Hello, madam!

Hello!

Otto has passed away.

Please excuse me! Come in!

HoW come you never sent me this picture?

- Otto was their dog, right?
- Yes.

So everyone's weeping for the dog?

Mum, things are different here, they
don't drag the dog to the landfill!

He was part of the family.
They even have pictures of him!

Find me a hanger for my
folk costume, will you?

It got all creased in the bag.

Well, where shall we bury him?

In the yard, next to the linden tree.

- I'll take care of everything, Tina.
- Thank you, Oleg Ivanovici!

Elena, will you get the pie?

Vica, tell Dad to come to dinner!

Dad!... Dinner's ready!

I've written a poem!

Otto's Song.

Otto has died, he's gone - before me.

A human heart had he.

A heart that throbbed,
till one day it succumbed

And ached, and made his legs
grow weak, his sun go down,

Poor thing... Gasping for air,
just like myself.

He cringed and moaned,
and laid his head to rest,

As helpless as a lamb.

Some water Tina brought,
for him to drink.

It stayed untouched,
he did not take one sip.

He gave a sigh, a human sigh, and died.

My tears started rolling, and I cried.

And so did Tina and the icon -

The earth itself seemed shaken.

I can't accept it and my heart is heavy.

And, though full of his memory,
these rooms are empty.

Beautiful!

Thank you for the meal, Tina!
I'll get back to work now.

Wait just a moment, Ion!

I want you to ask my daughter's
hand in marriage, properly!

- But aren't they officially married?
- They are, but we weren't there!

- You're right.
- We're eating, mother!

I've done that already.

The first day I saw her.

Well, young gentleman,
we didn't witness that scene!

OK, so you'd like to see a show here?

Precisely, we'd like a show! OK?

Forgive me, it's my fault
that I haven't done this until now.

I love Vica.

I truly do.

And I would be very happy
if you gave us your consent.

OK?

Is he a conductor, this boy?

We went to university together, Mother!

He's from Bucharest.

He's just less restrained,
that's his way.

Does he love you?

What's your definition of love?

Don't talk to me like that!

Your sister wants to get a divorce.

- Vica, we have to get going!
- Where?

- To get a dress and a suit.
- No dress, we're saving the money!

Out of the question, we have to
keep the tradition!

Valera says so. He's paying.

- Let me just ask Vlad!
- Don't ask, just tell him!

But we need to have a shower
and get some sleep!

We have to be at the marriage
hall in half an hour! Hurry up!

Senia, will we get a bonus
from the groom, or something?

He doesn't have money, man,
he's a conductor.

Just talk to Valera!

- But make sure you focus on bride!
- Of course.

Grisa is a wedding director
and she's his assistant!

Senia, you've told us already,
remember? At the station.

Hi!

But has Valeriu told the guests
to bring money instead of gifts?

At least 100 euros per person.

Valeriu says some people
will give even more.

He's got a plan.

What are you thinking of?

Excuse me!

Are you the groom?

- Vlad!
- Good to meet you!

Nice to meet you!

- Welcome home, Vica!
- Thanks!

You can't find such
beautiful flowers in Bucharest.

They're hard to find here too,
apparently...

Have you picked your suit?

Let's pick something nice for you, Vica!

Valera!

So, godfather, are we
keeping the tradition now?

That's nice!...
Now let's get you some shoes!

Natalitza!

It's Vica!

- Has the bachelor party started yet?
- Not yet!

So you can stay with us for a while.

Uncle Senia, I tried them on
and the heel broke.

Don't worry, I'll fix them by morning!
You just get some good sleep!

Didn't you say you weren't
going to spy on us, Vic?

I don't care what you guys do.
My heel top came off.

- Yeah, sure!
- Fine, I'll just leave.

No, don't go yet!
I've got something to tell you.

Sit down here!

- Have some taranka , fellows!
- Senia, can we just get some vodka?

This taranka fish looks
like it's been eaten by a dog!

Johnny! The name is Se-nia, not Se-ni-a!

Second of all, there's no vodka!

You're supposed to drink beer
with taranka . Right, Vica?

- Absolutely!
- And third!

Who are you calling a fucking dog?

- You're the fucking dog, man!
- Are you fucking mad?

That's enough, fellows! Now toss it off!

I'm very upset, Vica.

Valeriu won't let me come to
the wedding without 100 euros.

- What a jerk!
- Mudak indeed!

You don't have to bring
any money, uncle Senia.

- Tell that to him, not me!
- We'll tell him.

Here's the deal, uncle Senia:
I'll talk to Valera

and you keep an eye on Vlad tonight,
so he doesn't do anything stupid!

Vic!...

Uncle Senia, will I be a happy
bride or a sad bride tomorrow?

Happy! You've got Senia's word for it!

Hurrah!

- Hurrah!
- Thank you! I'll be going now.

- Good night!
- Good night!

- Will there be any girls?
- God forbid! Just guys, veterans.

That's all!

That's all Valeriu paid for!

When is your divorce?

What's the down payment
for your mortgage loan?

10% of the price for the
studio flat, about 10,000 euros.

We'll have to be nice
to Valeriu!...

Your mother-in-law's not
breathing. You're free!

Nah, just a poke and she'll be back.

I can't tell if Vlad loves me.

Remember what Dad used to say?

If he walks behind you,
it means he wants to protect you.

And that means he loves you.

What a nice bride!
That'll be the opening photo.

Yeah!

Valeriu always walks in front of me.

How does Vlad walk?

- I don't understand.
- Can you tell me the time, please?

It's 6:30.

- What's your name?
- Ana.

I'm Vlad.

Do you know what language
we're speaking now?

Romanian.

- Is it Romanian or Moldavian?
- Romanian.

What are your grades for Romanian?

- Eight.
- Eight? Why not ten?

- Because the teacher's mean.
- And for Russian?

- Eight.
- Is that teacher mean too?

- What do you have a ten for?
- English.

- Do you know where I'm from?
- Are you from Romania?

But why are you talking
like you're an emperor?

- A what?
- An emperor.

Do you know what an emperor is?

An emperor is an emperor.

All right, Ana! Try to get a ten
for every subject, not just English!

- Good luck!
- Thank you!...

Who's there?

It's me.

- Who's there?
- It's Vlad, Mother. Good morning!

Can you open the door?

Oh, no! Vlad honey, I broke the key!

- What?
- I broke the key!

So what do I do now?

Hey, what do I do now?

Everything is shit these days.
Russian things used to last a lifetime.

Can you fix it, uncle Senia?

Not to worry!

We'll get it open soon
and then you'll be off to church.

Stop hammering so hard, Senia!
You'll break the door!

How can I fix it
if I stop hammering, auntie?

I'm supposed to break the lock,
not perform surgery!

Go easy, or I'll charge you
for the damage!

Stop talking nonsense,
you won't charge anything!

I'll just leave this food
and the chicken here.

I have to catch the bus back.

Could you give them to the Poet?

Whom should I say they're from?

Liusia Bobocu, from the village of
Hartop, in the Cimislia District.

But who told you to bring
food for the Poet?

He wrote in "Art and Literature"
how poets are starving,

how they've got no one to write for.

So we thought we'd help.

We read his poems,
they heal our wounded heart.

- Make sure you let him know that!
- I will.

Have a good trip!

Uncle Senia, is it working or not?
Mum's called a taxi already!

Sweetheart, have my suit ready
and make me a sandwich, please!

Vlad honey, shall I put on
my folk costume?

No, Mum, you'll be wearing it
at the restaurant this afternoon!

Senia, this is ridiculous!

Can you do anything or not?

Damned door!

Call Valera!

Open your arms
and I'll give you my love,

I won't shed a tear, I won't be blue,

With a smile on my face
I'll give you my love,

That'll be my birthday gift to you.

My love is not a blue moon
shining till noon,

It's not a silly tune
on a sticky afternoon,

My love is not a blue moon
shining till noon,

It's a 7-petal flower in full bloom.

I'm not ashamed of the love that I feel
It springs from the bottom of my heart,

It will shatter all doors
and pull down any wall,

Travelling all the way to your heart.

My love is not a blue moon
shining till noon,

It's not a silly tune
on a sticky afternoon,

My love is not a blue moon
shining till noon,

It's a 7-petal flower
in full bloom.

You're not supposed to see the bride!

Are you upset?

You don't love me.

I love you more than yesterday.

You promised you wouldn't
stay too long at the party!

The bachelor party is just once
in a lifetime. It's over now!

Were there any whores?

The guys brought a stripper...

Then we sang patriotic songs
till morning.

- So you didn't get any sleep?
- I'm not sleepy.

Maybe you'll fall asleep at the wedding!

- You're the one who doesn't love me!
- No, you don't love me!

I asked you to make me
a sandwich, I'm hungry!

Here!

OK, you love me more,
but I will love you all my life.

- Will you please just look at me?
- I'm not supposed to.

You're nervous.

I'm afraid I might faint in church.

Then they'll stop the wedding
and exorcise me.

I suppose they could take
a few devils out of you.

Thank goodness you're a saint!

- How did the tape fall into the beer?
- It just did.

It's drying now, maybe it's not ruined.

I wonder what the hell
you did in Afghanistan?

- You probably just fed the pigs.
- The goats! They're Muslim!

Idiot! You can kiss that
veteran pension goodbye!

The camera died when the bride
came down, we need another take.

Sure, if you pay for it yourself!

Am I making a commercial film
here, or a little art movie?

Idiots!...

What's with this badge? Are you
a big Europe fan all of a sudden?

- Johnny gave it to me.
- Who?

The groom's uncle.
I gave him my USSR badge.

You're stupid! Yours was a
collectible, one of a kind!

These are a dime a dozen.
Go help the boys fix the door!

Listen, Valera, I want to come
to the church too!

- I don't have to pay for that!
- If you fix the door first...

- What?
- If you fix the door first!

Are you deaf or something?

Vica, where's the groom's suit?

The tradition...

Many happy returns...

Many happy returns...

Who'll be your patron saint?
The saint protecting your home?...

- Saint Nicholas.
- Yes.

You have to choose a Romanian
saint, like St. Andrew or Demeter!

- What difference does that make, Dad?
- I agree.

May the merciful Lord bless you
with His spirit and love,

and let Saint Nicholas be
your patron, your guardian saint!

In the name of the Father, the
Son, and the Holy Ghost, Amen!

Uncle, the bride is over here!

- I told you to leave the costume!...
- What if they can't fix the door?

What are we supposed to do here?

We'll just do what they do.

Vlad, what's the statue of a
Romanian voivode doing here?

Please!

Let's hold a moment of silence
for Moldavia's great ruler!

Jeez, I wonder what they feed them?

Walachians!

Idiots!

Mankurts!

You're nothing but a bunch of mankurts!

What's a mankurt?

You idiotic Walachian!

Tartars kept the hostage children with
a wet leather strap around their head.

The drying strap got so tight,
it made them lose their memory.

These kids with no memory of
their past were called mankurts.

- They couldn't remember their names?
- That's right.

They forgot who they were,
where they came from...

So what are we waiting for now?

An apology from Vica's father.

And what's a Walachian?

That's us, sis! Romanians from
the south, from the old Walachia.

- And why did he call us idiots?
- Vlad, apologise to my father!

- Tell him we'll change the saint!
- Ha! It was the saint's fault!

No, let him apologise to me!

If not, I'm going home
and you're coming with me!

You're wrong! And selfish!

Son, I've put a lot of effort into
this wedding! I think it'll be fine.

- You'll get enough money too. Come on!
- I'm listening.

He was an MP in Moscow in 1990,
lobbying for Moldova's freedom

and the unification with Romania.

I know that.

The KGB had him neutralized,
he was in a coma for a whole year!

What's that got to do with St. Nicholas?

Andrew is the patron of Romania.
Demeter is the guardian of Bucharest.

We were talking about St. Nicholas!

"I was born a Romanian in Romania,
I wish to die a Romanian in Romania."

That's his poem!

And us, stupid Walachians, how
can we prove we love our country?

Should I go marching with flags,
like in the days of Ceausescu?

He's the one who owes us an apology!

So...according to the script,
we are now going to tape

the bride and groom kissing
in Central Park.

Let me see you by the Fontaine!

Action!

Open your arms
and I'll give you my love,

I won't shed a tear, I won't be blue,

With a smile on my face
I'll give you my love,

That'll be my birthday gift to you...

That's it, Vica, tear those petals!
Enter the groom!

Yes, yes, keep going!
The bride stops now!

Now the groom walks
around the bride! Faster!

Look at her! Hug her! Kiss her!

No, not like that!... Wait!

You're not doing it right.

You have to hold her,
look into her eyes,

show me some feeling,
show me you love her!

Dunno, this take is bad! Cut, stop!

Action! The bride starts walking!
Yes! Now the groom!

The bride stops!...

Action!

Give me more feeling!
Yes, yes, beautiful!

Start kissing! Cut! Stop!

THE STATE UNIVERSITY
OF MEDICINE AND PHARMACY

Vlad honey, where shall I put this on?

- Hold on a second, Mum!
- OK, so what do I do?

Forgive me, Madam,
but your son is a bit rude.

He stopped listening to me a long
time ago. I'm sorry about the door.

- No problem. Have a seat!
- Thank you!

Start marching!

Welcome to our wedding!

We're all set for the guests!

After you shake hands
with the bride and groom,

please remember
to put the money in there!

I wish you happiness!

Lots of happiness!

Welcome! Welcome to our wedding!

Vlad, you're supposed to drink
with each guest. At least pretend.

- We wish you all the happiness!
- There are about 200 guests, you know!

May you live healthy and happy,
under a blue and free sky!

- All the best!
- Welcome!

What exquisite attendance!
What beautiful Moldavians!

Did you know the girl's name is Ana?

I talked with her this morning.
What if she's in love with me?

We'll keep the notes and
give her back the coins.

Why should you turn down
the child's gift?

Well, what am I supposed to do
with a kilo of metal?

I'll have it exchanged.
Here, sis, you go on taping!

Put it in here!

Valera, we have to tape
the flower bridge moment!

Wait till the guests are all here!

Honoured guests!

Welcome to our godchildren's wedding!

It was at short notice, it's true.

So we apologise if you had to
change your schedule for us.

We've got some honourable
Moldavians among us tonight.

Writers, artists, composers,

Poets, deputies - all friends.

Our godchildren's love couldn't wait,

so we had to prepare this quickly,

to lay the first cornerstone
at the foundation of their home.

I'd like to propose a first
toast to the bride and groom.

May they live long!

You can't go through without
Mr. Valeriu's approval!

- Who's Mr. Valeriu?
- The godfather.

Here's a little something
from the godfather!

Good evening! What can you
tell us about the wedding?

- It's quite Moldavian.
- Has the fun started already?

- What newspaper are you from?
- I'm from the national radio station.

Johnny Scarlat,
international talent agent.

Casting for actresses, dancers, singers,

authentic talents from the
Republic of Moldova.

I can offer a work permit
and a two-year European visa.

I do celebrity news, not ads.

Have it your way, but
you've just lost 100 euros!

If you want the bread,
you have to pay for it!

- How much?
- As much as you please.

So the groom's bought the bread,
and now we're going to tear it.

Hold the bread with both hands and pull!

Whoever gets the larger piece
will be the head of the family.

- You're supposed to let me win!
- Of course!

Let the battle for power start!

3, 2, 1, go!

This song is about Vica.

When she was little,
Vica had big, beautiful eyes.

She was a very good child.

And on occasion, for celebrations,

Vica used to sing and dance.

And everyone marvelled at her talent.

So she grew up to become
a great pianist.

And one day, she left for Romania.

That's where she met Vlad,
a great conductor.

Vica would play the piano,
and Vlad would conduct.

Vica, you're the star
that lights my night,

Shining up there, shining bright,

When I'm with you, I'm a dreamer.

And Vica would reply,

Vlad, we've been in love for so long

It's time we finally tied the knot

To build ourselves a future.

That brings us back to Kishinev,

I've been to their wedding myself,

And I raise my glass to them,

For they are children of Orpheus

And love each other dearly.

Let there be light!

Give it up for
Moldova's greatest pianist lady!

And now, the bridal waltz!
Let the bride and groom dance!

And if they do well, the guests
will pay even more after midnight.

Don't fool around, we want
to make a good impression!

Are we dancing for money?

Bitter! Bitter!...

When they shout "bitter",
we have to kiss!

My parents are here, I'm embarrassed.

I wonder what actors feel
when they kiss?

Now I know, I understand at last
In everything we do,

be it acting or writing,

it's not glory that matters the most,
not the honour we once dreamed of,

but the patience,
the strength to bear our cross

and to keep our faith.

Faith I do have,
and it shall ease my suffering.

And when I think of my calling,
I no longer fear life.

7 red.

Olesia!

You remind me of a Russian
sweetheart I used to have.

Bring me some champagne

and sing "Along the Don" for me!

Do you know it?

A hundred and five.

A hundred and one.

I've counted them twice.

I counted them when we welcomed them.

You counted the waiters too!

Where have you been all this time?

Shut up, stupid!

It Was 50 euros,
I lost it at the casino.

I lost 400 of mine as well.

I'll give it all back to you
when we're home.

Money can't buy happiness!

The House of Value!

Vlad!

Dark eyes...

Eyes full of passion...

Eyes full of fire...

Serghei! I thought you'd never come!

Wonderful eyes...

It's so good to see you!

- Serghei!...
- Eyes I both love and fear...

- Let me have a look at you!
- Harasho!

Ha-ra-sho!

This is a Romanian wedding!

Therefore...

from this moment on, Romanian
shall be the working language here!

Bravo!

The language of the Bolshevik colonists

is hereby banned on the holy land
of Stefan the Great!

Our Holy Stefan the Great!

Give me a Romanian folk song!

Come here, sis!

A man was dying on the stage.

A brilliant actor, passing away.

- And while a spectator rejoiced,...
- ...another...

Another cried, in a trembling voice...

Honoured guests,
wonderful bride and groom,

A loving hug from Ludmila Colohina!

I hope you can forgive
my hasty departure.

May the groom and bride
live in eternal love!

The curtain drops!

I need a real man to walk me out!

And now, the contest organised by
the godparents for the bride and groom!

The prize quiz!

The godfather will pay 50 euros
for every right answer.

First question for the groom:

Will the bride's mother please stand up!

- She's not here.
- She's split just in time.

Dear groom, what colour are
your mother-in-law's eyes?

Has the groom never looked
into his mother-in-law's eyes?

- Brown!
- 50 euros!

50 euros!

They say the wife should
know everything about her man,

like a family KGB.

Vica, what's Vlad's shirt size?

36-37.

- Vlad?
- I have no idea.

So the groom doesn't know,
but the bride does.

50 euros!

Another question for the groom?

What are the bride's favourite flowers?

Daisies!

- Are you sure?
- Yes, daisies.

Let Vica answer!

- No, I like roses.
- 50 euros!

So the bride likes roses!

You should have brought her roses
at least once a week!

Vica, are you sure that's your groom?

Maybe you just rented
this one for the wedding.

But don't worry, we'll get him
with the next question!

Pay close attention, please!

A trial for 1,000 euros!

Shostakovich, the great Shostakovich,

could pour 50 or 100
grams of vodka in a glass

without looking at it.

Because he had a perfect ear.

Can our groom do the same?

Way to go!

Bravo!

Your family will do anything
to irritate me, and so will you.

What did I do?

You could have said yes
about the daisies, for instance.

Vlad, my parents knew I liked roses!

- Have you ever told me?
- Have you ever asked?

- I was sure you liked daisies.
- You're the one who likes them.

And stop being upset,
we've won 1,150 euros!

Vica, damn the money!

It's all you've been talking about
ever since we came here.

The material girl and the artist?

Your games and your weddings
are idiotic.

Valeriu made that contest to help us.

Not to help us, but to help you!
You could have warned me!

I'm warning you!

There will be other contests too.

They'll do anything to prove
that you don't deserve me!

If that asshole calls me
a rented groom one more time...

I'll beat him up!

Don't forget why we've come here!

Who was that Russian guy
who sang to you?

- A cousin from Moscow.
- Can't he speak Romanian?

His mother is Russian...
Is that a problem, Mr. Johnny?

I'll get fat.

And ugly, and you won't love me anymore.

Maybe!

I think the lights are out everywhere.

How about a quickie?

Don't be rude!

What's wrong, Valera?

Someone told the restaurant owner
that uncle doesn't like Russian.

He's waiting for an apology. In Russian.

- Vlad can't speak Russian.
- Well, he'll have to.

How do you say, "I like Russian"?

"Sorry"?

"My uncle"?

Yes!

I'm terribly sorry! We'll be fine!

I sometimes feel a quenchless urge

I sometimes feel a quenchless urge
To drive my dagger right through stone.

To drive my dagger right through stone.

Sparks will shoot up from the stone.

Nice suit! Didn't they have
any schoolboy outfits?

Do you know why the lights went out?

Because of your show
about Stefan the Great.

- And Holy!
- You see, the owner is Russian!

The Russians have the light switch here.

Smart guys. They've tamed the
Bessarabians and taken all they had.

Have you noticed how sad they look?

Left-click for Russian,
right-click for Romanian.

- But they can't speak either well.
- Vica speaks Romanian better than us.

What would you do in their shoes?

Total revolution, man!

I would have banished every single
Russian 14th Army soldier from here!

Didn't you have an EU badge?

Does it matter what language
you speak? You're a human being!

Let's stop talking politics, shall we?

Hurrah!

Calm down, you don't want
to get whacked around here!

- Wouldn't you stand up for me?
- I wouldn't!

- You wouldn't?
- I wouldn't.

Did you really lose all the money
at the casino?

I did!

That Russian woman made me
spend it all. Fuck that Stalin!

Your mother-in-law likes me.

Either that, or she's counting
every sip we take.

The lemon dance is next!

The groom will dance with
his mother-in-law!

If they drop the lemon,
they have to eat it.

Shto? - What?

Coolshto!

Let's go!

Give me one good reason why Vica
should stay with a boor like you!

Love.

Keep your hand higher,
Vlad gets jealous!

Vica, my heart tells me
you're not happy where you are!

Do you know how much a pianist
like you can earn in Moscow?

No.

1,500 - 1,800 - 2,000 euros per month.

- No difficulties getting a loan.
- I don't believe you.

I can get that for you, Vica!

Can you imagine Vlad
following me around Moscow?

- What's your name?
- Dunno.

Nice to meet you. I'm Doono.

Would you like to go to
university in Romania?

Nope.

Things were better under Ceausescu.
We had everything we needed.

There were foreign products too.

Sneakers from China,
sharpeners, pencils, toys,

bicycles from Ukraine,
lemons from Greece...

Were the poets respected?

They were. What were things like here?

The same.

Olives and fish were a poor man's meal.

- You had that fine marmalade.
- Ah, yes! We even exported it.

I like the way you dance.

I like ice cream.

- I think I'm in love with you.
- My father is Russian!

It'll never last.

- What won't last?
- Your relationship. It'll never last.

- What makes you say that?
- He doesn't know you.

You know everything about Elena -
what good is that for you?

Do you think she loves you?

Maybe she just needs
a European passport.

There are millions of European
passports. If she chose mine...

Why did you choose her?
Did you need money?

I'm sorry, my shoe is too tight.
If I don't take it off...

- Shall we eat the lemon?
- Let's eat it!

I hear you working hard there,

so our bride must have made
some very tasty food!...

But our bride has been kidnapped!

And the groom
will have to pay the ransom.

The kidnappers are serious guys,

veterans who have been in
Afghanistan, Chechnya, Transnistria!

They are demanding
a ransom of 2,000 euros.

The groom has no money.
What shall we do?

We'll fucking lend it to him, man!

2,000 euros?

Yes, this is the groom speaking!

Senia?

Listen carefully!

Take the bride and your
Chechnya and Afghanistan veterans,

take everyone and come to the wedding!

No, man, you don't need
to bring any money!

You're my special guests.

You can come. Davai!

Let me hear that drum, Vasile,

For the bride and groom,

Let me hear your loudest beat,

Cause here comes the godfather!

Let me hear that drum, Vasile,

For the bride and groom,

Let me hear your loudest beat,

Cause here comes the godfather!

Let me hear that drum, Vasile,

For the bride and groom,

Let me hear your loudest beat,

Cause here comes the godfather!

It's a Moldavian wedding,
Where everyone is merry,

The whole village is invited
By the worthy messenger.

Let me hear that drum, Vasile,

For the bride and groom,

Let me hear your loudest beat,

Cause here comes the godfather!

Vsyo! - That's all!
The money!

Vica!

Here's the money!

That's a present from your uncle,
who loves you!

Thank you, uncle Senia!

Congratulations!

Alexandru Lozanciuc, yeah!...

Vlad!

What was the day you first met Vica?

I don't know.

Vica!

What was Vlad wearing
the first time you met him?

I don't know.

A question for 2,000 euros!

Valeriu!

Show me the money!...

A question for both of you!

When did the Romanian army first
betray Bessarabia?

Valeriu!

I beg your pardon!

Just a few moments and...

I am not a rented groom.

I came here to have a wedding,

to get money.

I thought you were naive...

I thought you were... stupid...

I'll have to get the money
some other way!

You don't have to pay anything!

Forgive me!

Enjoy the party!

Music!

Leave me alone!

Mankurts resting...

And you made me bring your
grandma's costume for nothing.

I think I'm in love with Dunno.

I can't get her out of my mind.

- I wonder if they're having cake now.
- Cut it out, will you?

Go have some cake and
just let me be!

Are you Mr. Johnny Stratulat,
from Romania?

Scarlat!

That's right!

There are some young ladies
waiting for you at the gate.

Can I let them in?

Tell them to wait!

Bitter! Bitter!

Vica, these people
would like to go home!

They don't know what to do
with the money.

- Shall we raise the glasses?
- Yes.

Vica, don't you see
Vlad doesn't love you?

- How do you know that?
- He doesn't know you!

He has all the time in the world.

Don't you want to be the most
beautiful and loved woman of all?

My little Vica!

I don't feel like giving
a speech in there, or a toast.

I've written a little poem for you
and I've come to tell it to you.

- Would you like to hear it?
- Yes.

You're leaving our old home,
o, my child,

You're leaving your mother
and father behind,

The world is as menacing
as a forest at night...

The song of the birds may
delight your heart,

But there's always a beast
lurking in the dark.

I like your groom.

I think he's not a mankurt after all.

Tell me, did you really come
here just for the money?

We need that money.

Honoured guests!

Here is the cornerstone for the
foundation of our children's home!

5,000 euros!

I'm happy to see here many of the people

who came to my older
daughter's wedding too.

You, my sweet Vica, my younger
and wayward daughter!

You've gone far away, and no one
knows how often we'll meet!

Be careful - it's hard to be
a Bessarabian in Romania!

To have everyone laughing
at y0ur accent...

Your father and I have been putting
money aside for years now.

You've chosen your husband yourself!...

I'm happy to have given birth to a son

who, as I hope you'll agree, is
respectful, intelligent, moderate,

and so on.

With his father, rest in peace,
I've saved 500 euros for his wedding.

That's all the money I can give,

but I'll give him to you
as your son-in-law.

He was an eminent student at university

and now he's a conductor,
a very good one.

Dear Vica!

Tell Vlad to be a wise
and tender husband!

From the family of a retired
researcher,

Here is some money for a pan and a pot!

Let's stop saying "Bitter", shall we?

There hasn't been anything bitter
here tonight, it's all been sweet!

We'll give you all we can,
let God give you all He can!

What's the wealth of a poet?

Enough to buy forks and spoons...

There is no nicer poem in the world

Than that of Vlad and Vica,
I've been told.

Here's a cheque for 5,000 Moldavian lei!

It'll take a while before you can
cash it, but you'll get the money.

All the best!

Do you love her?

Do you?

Do you love her?

Do you love her?

We're expecting a baby.

I'm going to be a father.

Ponimaesh?

June 28, 1940.

The Romanian army
surrendered Bessarabia.

Betrayed!

10,000 euros! Take it and get lost!

Vica, may your love cross
all borders!

Just don't stop holding hands!
Have a happy life in Europe!

And let Europe remember
that we're coming soon too!

The wrought iron of Kishinev,
represented by me,

wishes the young couple
a long and healthy life!

You can always order a gate,
a fence, railing, balcony, furniture,

beds, kitchen furniture, all for free.

Plus 200 euros from both of us!

And five lambs for the barbecue!

My dear Vica!

I haven't come here alone.

I've also brought my mother
and father's best wishes.

I'd also like to remind everyone here

that there are no borders
in the world of creation!

It's the same country for all of us!

All on our planet, the Earth!

I would be happy to welcome you
in Moscow for your honeymoon!

Vlad!

We have to tape the last scene:
the undressing of the bride

and adornment of the housewife!

There is just one last scene

for my little art movie!

Oh bride,

Take leave of your mother and father...

Oh bride...

Take leave of your brothers and sisters,

Take leave of the flowery garden.

Uncle?

Does that mean we're not
going home anymore?

Don't go anywhere without me!

Casting session!

OK, we'll wait for you...

We can offer European visas
and work permits!

Don't be upset with me
For not kissing you, lad!

Do you think I like to remember
The shame I once felt?

I wish I was an ugly girl
An ugly, but daring girl.

The earth gives us warmth,
Two waters soothe our woe,

The suffering of the past
Fills the span of a moan.

The dewy grass can hide
The painful wounds of yore,

But our Bessarabian fate
Is as hard as before.

Forever fighting and burning,
So often betrayed and bereft,

Bessarabia, you're the fruit
of my longing,

And the tears my people have wept.

My heart is aching, mama,

My heart is aching,
Please let me go to the village bee!

Next!

Along the Don,

Along the Don,

Along the Don,

A young Cossack is walking...

Along the Don,

A young Cossack is walking...

And a lass...

And a lass is weeping there.

And a lass is weeping there.

And a lass is weeping there.

And a lass...

You told me to love you,
You asked me to be yours,

You said I should think about it,
You even asked for my heart.

Oh lad, Just leave, Godspeed!

Oh lad, I'll keep telling you that!

Don't come here so often
And please stop calling me,

It's starting to annoy me
And you won't enjoy what's coming.

Oh lad, Just leave, Godspeed!

Oh lad, I'll keep telling you that!

Da! - Yes!

Subrip: easytobeaman