We Were Children (2012) - full transcript

Lyna!

All she said to me was
to be good, and to listen.

And she never said anymore.

They had no expectations.

I don't think they could even
fathom what would happen.

I remember coming
into a huge building.

And I remember thesethings in black;

I didn't know what they were.

Black and white, and
they were all waiting.

I felt so small,
and I was very scared.

I remember being taken
upstairs into this dormitory,



where there was about four
rows of beds on the one side

and four rows of
beds on the other side.

And they were white
beds, like hospital beds.

This will be your bed.

Your bed.

Bed, sleep.

Bring her to the shower.

The savage doesn't
believe that cleanliness

is next to Godliness.

When they get a cut or scrape,
or even an insect bite,

their mothers leave
the wound to fester.

Are you listening
to me, Sister Mary?

Yes, Sister.

Lyna, is it Lyna?



Lyna.

Lyna.

Sister Mary,
whichever way it is,

for now it no
longer pertains.

We'll have
this disposed of.

Now, let's give this
one a good scrubbing.

I remember being taken
into a large shower room,

where I was stripped
down, and I was showered.

I never had anybody
but my mother touch me,

so that was scary in itself,

having someone I
didn't know bathe me.

They dried my hair, and
they looked through my hair,

and then they applied DDT.

I didn't know at the time
it was DDT, it was powder,

and it really smelt terrible.

Leave this kerchief on for
24 hours to kill the bugs.

Does she
understand this?

She will.

Leave this on.

On.

On?

You see, Sister Mary, they
learn fast when they want to.

I remember the first
night very well.

We went upstairs, and
I was taken to my bed.

On your knees, girls.

We had to kneel down again.

On your knees, girls,
quickly now, quickly.

Heads down, eyes closed.

Down, eyes closed.

Our father... Girls: Our father...

who art in heaven, Girls: who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name. Girls: hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. Girls: Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done.

I didn't understand
the language,

and I just did what
everybody else did.

I would look to see what the
rest of the girls were doing,

and then follow them.

Forever and ever. Girls: Forever and ever.

Amen. Girls: Amen.

No talking.

No getting out of bed.

Remember, Sister Mary can
see you through the window.

There was a Sister that was
assigned to take care of us,

and she stayed in a
room close to the dorm.

And there was a window, she
would be able to see us through

this window, so I
feared that window.

I cried myself to
sleep that night.

Good morning, girls,
good morning, time to get up,

right away, please,
get up!

Good morning,
get up, please.

When I woke up, my
eyes were swollen,

and I could hardly open them.

They had these two wooden,
they called them clackers,

and they'd clack them together.

Up, out of bed, come
on, please, out of bed.

Twenty-four hours after they
had put the powder on my hair,

the yellow powder, I had
to go back in the shower,

and wash it out.

They dried my hair again, and
I had to go sit on this chair.

I remember feeling the
cold scissors on my hair,

and sometimes kind of
hitting me on the head

or nicking me in the ear.

It hurt, it was painful.

I felt that they were taking
something away from me.

They were stripping
away my humanness,

my sense of who I was.

There we are,
a brand new start.

Soon you'll be playing
with the other children.

We had to go down the long
hallway into the dining room,

and I remember seeing
tables and tables

with chairs around them.

You see, 99, that's you,
99, this is your chair.

This is your bowl, spoon, 99.

I learnt that the name
Lyna ceased to exist.

We were all
given numbers.

It started with the bigger boys,
they were number one all

the way to, I think there
was about 120 of us.

But I always remember when Ifirst went there, I was 118.

Yeah.

You used to get lonely 'cause
you come to realize that

it wasn't the place you thought
it was, and away from home.

Our people thought that

the government would build
a school on the Reserve,

but they went a different route,
they built these schools away

from the Reserve, and
run by the churches,

and it was kind of a
catch-22 situation.

If you didn't send
your kids to school,

they threatened you with jail.

What is your name?

Children: What is your name?

My name is.

Children: My name is.

We were punished in school
if we spoke our own language.

When I first went to school, I
had to learn English and French.

I used to wonder, well how come
they spoke French and English.

We didn't understand them,
and how come they could speak

French, and us, we couldn't
speak our language?

And just to be hateful,
I'd speak in Indian back to her.

And then she'd be getting mad,
started talking in French,

and I'd talk back in Indian, and
oh, it really drove them crazy.

But you know you
paid the price.

You will learn to speak
God's language - all of you!

And you will obey.

We still tried, and eventually
you get beaten enough you quit.

I think we'd wake up at
6 o'clock in the morning,

and then we'd get dressed.

I remember, you know, going to
the sink and getting ready,

washing our face, our hands.

I remember the girl beside me
always washing her face so many

times and her hands, and
wondering why she was doing

that, so I whispered
to her I said -

See, you're dirty.

And so she did a comparison
with my hand and her hand,

and she was fairer than
I was, and I was dark,

and she said that
means you're dirty,

and I looked at my hands
and I thought, well,

I guess I better wash them.

And speak
English, English.

For thine is the kingdom,

Children: For
thine is the kingdom,

The power and the glory,

Children: The
power and the glory,

Forever and ever.

Children: Forever and ever.

Amen.

Children: Amen.

For those of you who are
new to the school, welcome.

Your journey has been long.

You're missing your parents.

Rest assured, they
want you to be here.

They want you to learn
to become useful,

productive members of the
larger world around you.

You will not only learn how
to cook and sew and farm,

but you will learn how to
pray, and to whom to pray.

The savage and carefree ways
you are accustomed to are over.

Your old world is dying, but we
in the civilized world want to

save you from certain death.

We welcome you here with
open arms, open hearts,

and open minds.

This is the last time you
will hear your own language.

To be understood
in this country,

to survive in its industries,
you will learn to speak English,

you will learn to
think in English,

and you will be
the better for it.

You may thank me.

Children: Thank you, Father.

Very good.

That is the end of our service.

You may go.

Follow the Sister
in an orderly way.

First row, please,
quickly and quietly.

Very good.

Second row, quickly,
please, quickly.

Come on now.

Now please.

Quickly, children, find
your seats, please.

Nice and quiet.

The very first thing
that I recall is that

we were given 10 tokens.

These tokens are for you.

They are for you to keep.

You keep them by
speaking English.

Every time you speak your own
language, you lose a token.

If we kept the 10 tokens,
that meant that, you know,

we knew English, and that we
could communicate in English.

English only.

I remember, I guess being
in a state of shock...

wondering, you know, what
I was doing there, and why.

No one was allowed to touch each
other or to talk to each other.

Who made the world?

God made the world. Children: God made the world.

Who is God?

God is the creator of heaven
and earth, and of all things.

Children:
God is the creator of heaven
and earth, and of all things.

What is man?

Man is a creaturemade of body and soul. Children: Man is a creature
made of body and soul.

Sister Mary, what is the point
of teaching the catechism

if your students refuse
to speak English?

They are
trying, Sister.

They are doing
nothing of the kind.

Child... 99, stand up.

Stand up!

Who made the world?

Who made the world?

There, you see.

This child has very
few of her tokens left.

I am trying
to reach them.

Reach them, Sister Mary, it is
not we who must reach them

but the other way around.

If you coddle these children,
you do no one any good.

On the floor, all of you.

On your knees,
with your rosaries.

The Apostles' Creed, begin.

I believe in God, the Father almighty, Children: I believe in God,
the Father almighty,

Creator ofheaven and earth. Children: Creator of
heaven and earth.

Look straight ahead!

Creator ofheaven and earth. Children: Creator of
heaven and earth.

Look forward,
I say, forward!

I believe in Jesus Christ, his only son, our Lord. Children: I believe in Jesus
Christ, his only son, our Lord.

I believe in Jesus Christ.

One of the punishments for
speaking our language and

losing all our tokens
was to hold your tongue.

Sometimes you had to hold your
tongue for about half an hour.

And if you let it go, then it
was another half an hour added

onto it, so you're holding
onto your tongue for an hour,

and then, you know, your spit
would be running down your,

your face.

I used my imagination
a lot... to feel safe...

'cause it was tucked away
somewhere that an adult

could not go, where I
knew they could not see,

where they could not feel,
or they could not hear what was

going on in there.

I retreated there a lot.

You, get back here!

Hey, they couldn't see
me from back there.

That's the road to
Fort Qu'Appelle.

Come with me.

I remember telling my Aunt one
time about that, and she said,

"No," she told me
not to tell lies.

"Priests don't do that, they
wouldn't do that," she said.

Nobody believed.

Man, that was
a wicked game.

Remember that was
crazy one time.

Yeah.

Hey, Glen, there's
your cousin.

Hey!

Where are
you going?

Home.

For good?

Just to visit,
see my folks.

I was raised by my grandfather.

I always kind of, like, envied
other kids who had parents

'cause I never got
to experience that.

And I wondered, how come
they never took me home?

I asked if I could go
home, so they said,

"Okay, we'll take you home."

How long you
going for?

A whole week.

Gonna sleep in my own bed,
gonna eat my own food.

Bring some
back for us.

I will.

You ready, Glen?

Are you excited?

Uh-huh.

I just started
up the truck.

We'll go inside
while it warms up.

By the school there
used to be a building,

a house they called the priest's
house, where the priest stayed.

This is an old house,
and a lot of secrets.

Do you like secrets?

I knew it.

Now, Glen,
see what I mean.

What do you suppose
is down there?

Would you like
to find out?

I want to go.

Of course, of course.

But look.

He pulled the rug open,
and there was a trapdoor.

Take a look.

So, I crawled down 'cause
I wanted to go home,

but I wanted to also, like,
see what he wanted to show me.

Come on, come on.

There's two doors.

And he opened up the
one door, and told me...

"Look, go on, look."

go look.

Hey!

Hey!

Wait, let me out!

Let
me out! Let me out!

Please, what did I do?

Let me out!

I was banging on the door,
yelling at him to let me out.

I wanted to go home.

But nobody answered.

Let me out!

What did I do?

Let me out!

Did you ever sometimes
feel, like, silence?

It really is deafening.

Crawl in the corner,
crouched up in the foetal

position I guess you
might say, and sit there,

and just hear dead silence.

I'd cry, wondering how
come they did that to me.

There was a huge
map on the wall,

and this map had
different paths.

At the bottom there was hell, in
the middle there was purgatory,

and high above the map...

Heaven.

That's where we
want to get to.

Do you see?

'Cause we started
down here.

That's where our ancestors all
went because they were savages.

But not us, we're
not dirty like them.

We're not gonna
burn in hell.

I didn't want to go to heaven;
I wanted to stay in hell

because I knew my
people would be there.

Come on, come on.

I was quite chubby
when I went to school.

I lost a lot of weight.

I didn't want to eat.

I was starving myself because I
couldn't get used to the food,

I couldn't tolerate the food.

I wasn't used to the
porridge that was like glue,

powdered milk that
was made into milk.

My body was used to food
that was totally natural,

like moose meat and berries.

♪♪♪ W, X, Y, and Z.

♪ Now I know my ABC's, next
time won't you sing with me. ♪♪

Very good.

Now... stay in your seats.

Fetch the principle.

Run!

They sent me to the infirmary,
and I remember being alone,

and there the
nurse force-fed me,

trying to get some energy
and strength in me.

This is the
food you have.

You will learn to
eat it or you'll die.

It makes no difference
to me what you choose.

She'd tell me you have to eat.

I couldn't.

I remember one night in
particular being very curious

as to why I heard a lot of
crying down the hallway.

The nurse was not
there all the time.

I remember this great big,
huge black thing.

And all the boys were
sitting up in bed, crying.

And the light from the exit
sign went bouncing off the face

of this priest.

And wondering why the boy
was naked, bent over.

Close the door!

Go!

I was really scared, and I knew
something really bad happened,

but I didn't
know what it was.

Can I go now?

Don't leave me
here, please!

Why am I here, why?

What did I do?

Take me home!

Please! Please!

There was a girl in there.

And it seemed like two persons
that go in that girl's room,

where that girl was.

I don't know how
much time passed,

but after awhile
they'd be gone.

I hear the door closing, and
I hear her crying, crying,

and I heard a tap.

And I listened,
I tapped back.

Made me feel good in the sense
that I wasn't the only one

down there all by myself.

How did we sleep
last night?

Porridge for you, and believe
you me, you're going to eat it.

Now you know you're not
to speak that language.

Stop it!

Even if you were allowed
to speak your nonsense,

I wouldn't be able to
understand a word of it.

Now, are you going
to eat or not?

A man, I see
in boy's room.

A man, boy cry.

Can't understand
a word of it.

Boy cry.

Eat your breakfast!

All boys cry.

Eat or starve,
damn you.

Eat!

And then I feared her,
so I kept it inside.

I went through the whole
day in the infirmary.

And then night came.

I could hear the steps coming
towards the girl's infirmary,

and I was the only one in there.

And then I couldn't breathe.

I was flipped over, and I
felt a hand clamp my mouth

and I could smell tobacco.

I remember gagging.

I remember a lot of pain.

So that's the reason
why I escaped to there...

to that place where I'd be safe.

When I was in that
special place,

that's where I found peace.

I think about it now,
and I think to myself that

I'm not the only one that
experienced this, the rape.

A lot of, a lot of children
in that school were raped,

sexually abused by this priest.

That priest later died before
I left Residential school,

and I felt peace.

I remember that when they
told us that he was gone,

it was just like there was
a load that was lifted,

and I didn't have to worry
anymore about the rest of

the boys or girls being
raped in the infirmary,

which was supposed to be a
place where we went to heal.

When I heard that he had died, I
just wanted to dance and laugh,

and I knew I couldn't, but I
did it in that special place.

I don't know how
much time passed.

It seemed like I was
in there forever.

Then this nun came.

She's telling me not to
cry, trying to comfort me.

She was gonna tell on them.

This is not right, she says,
what you're doing to that boy.

The girl.

Girl?

The other room.
Help her.

She was gone.

They had come and got
her, they took her.

I don't know what kind of God
they have that loves to hurt

another human being.

Their understanding of
God is a kind person,

you know, that's forgiving.

And all the things
they did to us,

what kind of God do they have?

All the other physical abuse was
nothing compared to being locked

up in that place.

I guess I was in there
a week and a half.

And the only reason I was put
in there because I was lonesome.

She washed me up.

First time ever washed in a tub
'cause we used to have showers

in the school.

Thank you.

It's all right, Glen.

They won't hurt you again.

You'll see, it's gonna
be all right now.

She said she was gonna watch
over me, that they won't,

they won't do anything to me.

Okay, I'll be back.

And then she was gone.

At Christmastime, they sent
that nun away 'cause she tried

to speak up for me.

He'll never
hurt you again.

He's going to
another school.

Some things you just learn
to accept, you have, like,

no control over.

After that, I never asked to go
home 'cause I always thought if

I asked to go home, they'd
put me in that place again.

They always say some day.

People will listen,
some day they'll believe.

Hey, Glen!

When she turns
away, we'll go.

What if we
get caught?

They bring us back.

They'll give
us a lickin'.

They'll give us a
lickin' whatever we do.

How long do you
figure to the Reserve?

A couple of days.

We, we should have got more than
a couple of potatoes to eat.

We could stop at our Aunt's
place in Qu'Appelle.

Yeah, she's
a nice lady.

It's only 30 miles.

We could
make that easy.

Come on now, hurry up.

No talking.

Open your
books to page 27.

Where are the others?

Where are they?

We felt like we were on
top of the world, yeah,

that we finally we
can I guess have that,

a little bit of freedom.

>>Glen: We stayed
away from the roads,

that way we could
see anybody coming.

We knew where we were going,
and we just kept walking.

You'd think you haven't
eaten for a week.

The food is
terrible at school.

There's worms in
the bread sometimes.

Nonsense, they wouldn't
give you rotten food.

We'll never have
to eat it again.

We'll take some with
us, okay, Aunty?

Of course.

We'll be back on the Reserve
tomorrow if we don't stop.

Yes, I called.

You boys are getting
a good education.

I won't let you throw
your lives away.

No, let me go!

You inspired these
boys to runaway too.

I hope you're
proud of yourself.

You're first.

The rest of you
against the wall.

I guess amongst
ourselves, we said,

"Oh, I'm not gonna let them do
that to us, we'll fight back."

I said, "As soon as he tries
to give one, we'll all jump."

Get him!

Get him on the floor!

He was like a big bear and a
bunch of wolves attacking him,

and the bear doesn't
know which way to turn.

I can still picture that.

Get him down!

I said let go!

Jump on him!
Jump on him!

You filthy savages!

Let go of me!

Get him!

You'll all be sorry,
the bunch of you.

You better run!

We showed that son of
a bitch who's boss.

>>Glen: He locked us in.

Go through
the window.

We tried to see how
we could get out,

but we were three stories
up and there was no way out

even with the window.

They're coming back,
we gotta get out!

We knew what was coming,

and we just hoped we'd
be able to get through it.

The fear of whether you'd
be able to and do it,

that was the biggest thing
that went through us.

And they really had
their way with us.

We all ended up in the
infirmary over a week.

We paid the price because we
really got a serious beating for

it, but we always cherished that
thought that we fought back.

What is God?

God is a spiritinfinitely perfect. Children: God is a spirit
infinitely perfect.

That God of beginning...

God has no beginning. Children: God has no beginning.

He always was andhe always will be. Children: He always was
and he always will be.

Where is God?

Children: God is everywhere.

We were in a hopeless situation.

I had nowhere to turn.

You just had to live through it.

Here she is.

Here are her things.

Come with me.

You there, 99,
take her inside.

The little ones would cry.

They would cry at night
because they were hungry.

I'm here now,
I'm here.

We were given different
chores to do in order

to change our behaviour
and, of course,

conform to what they wanted.

What was required of me was
to bring food to the priests

and the nuns, and the food that
I took there was, you know,

fresh apples and oranges,
vegetables from the garden,

all kinds of desserts that you
could imagine, cakes, cookies.

And when I compared it to what
we ate, there was no comparison.

Everything that was left over
from days and weeks were all

cooked together, and that's
what we were presented with.

I spent a lot of my
duties in the kitchen.

I want you to clean
these dishes, okay.

Sometimes I was in the kitchen
because I was being punished

for something I did.

What do you
think you're doing?

Where did you
get these apples?

I stole them.

Why?

For the children.

Every night they cry them
self to sleep from hunger.

You've seen what they give
us to eat, it makes us sick.

Report me,
I don't care.

Come with me.

All of you, out of your
beds, come, come with me!

And I thought, oh no.

No talking.

Quickly, quickly.

She went and got a box of bread,
a huge jar of peanut butter,

and she went into the kitchen
and made a great big,

huge pot of cocoa.

We told her we
were hungry...

Shh!

so she fed us.

I remember the
last day of school.

I felt a freeness, almost like I
had a huge burden that was being

taken away from me.

And I remember talking to
one of my grandfathers.

All he told me was you're
not gonna be there forever.

Life doesn't have to
be that way, he says.

When you get out you can live
the life the way you feel

it has to be.

And I always prayed for that
age when I get out of there.

I had so much rage.

It took a long time to make
peace with the church.

When I got out of
Residential school,

I made a promise to myself, I
was gonna try to live the way

I felt life should be lived,
but it was hard once you got out

of there too.

You're all of a sudden
in a different world

where there's so much freedom.

Just like a lot of those that
are in jail a long time.

All that feeling they can't
handle it, same with us.

A great majority of us, we
couldn't handle that freedom.

My friends, well a lot of them
died alcohol related deaths,

suicides when they
got out of school.

And I come so close
to doing that.

I was a orphan, and
it's a hard way to live.

I used to always see
others that had parents,

and I used to kind of envy
them that they're so lucky,

they're so lucky
to have parents;

they don't know what it's like
to grow up without parents.

And I used to always
say that, you know,

I wish my children
will never be orphans.

But like you see when a lot
of us, when we left school,

we turned to alcohol, and there
was a point in my life it became

a real bad problem for me.

I was gonna kill myself.

And I went up in the
hills, and I had my rifle,

and my two oldest
kids followed me.

I was just gonna
pull the trigger,

just like this voice spoke to me
and told me what are you doing?

You're doing what you
said you'd never do,

and I realized that
if I killed myself,

my children would be orphans.

I said I'd never think of
doing that again 'cause I love

my children so much that I
didn't want them to go through

what I went through
being an orphan.

Mr. Speaker, I stand beforeyou today to offer an apology

to former students of IndianResidential schools.

The treatment of children inlndian Residential schools

is a sad chapter in our history.

Two primary objectives of the
Residential school system

were to remove and isolate
children from the influence

of their home, families,
traditions and cultures,

and to assimilate them
into the dominant culture.

These objectives were based on
the assumption that aboriginal

cultures and spiritual beliefs
were inferior and unequal.

Indeed some saw it,
as was infamously said,

to kill the Indian in the child.

When I hear people that firmly
believe that nothing happened

in the schools, well,
I can tell my story,

and I can tell them
this is what happened.

The anger is gone.

There's just, I guess,
sadness and that of what,

of what happened, and hopefully
it never happens again.

We now recognize that it was
wrong to separate children

from rich and vibrant
cultures and traditions,

that it created a void in
many lives and communities,

and we apologize for
having done this.

We now recognize that in
separating children from their

families, we undermine the
ability of many to adequately

parent their own children,

and sow the seeds for
generations to follow.

The Government of Canada
sincerely apologizes and asks

the forgiveness of
the aboriginal peoples

of this country for
failing them so profoundly.

I believe that they were
trying to annihilate us,

and they couldn't because
what they did to us,

and everything that we've
had to live through,

only made us stronger,
made us more determined.

There's
another carrot.

Here, you want
another one, Caitlin?

Here you go.

The other way, babe.

Here's another
carrot.

We're okay.

What happened there,
it didn't have to happen,

but also don't keep it
a secret, don't hide it,

for the people to know that
things like that happen,

they didn't have to happen.

And at least I got
to talk about it.

It took a long time,
but finally able to speak.