We Promised (2016) - full transcript

My name's Nancy.

And I play Cathy in the
movie you're about to see.

I'm an indie filmmaker.

Well...

At least some of the time.

The rest of the time I'm a caregiver,

and I take care of the elderly.

This movie is about one of my clients,

a very special woman.

And about her family.

They changed my life, and
they changed it forever.



I'm not an actor, never wanted to be.

But in this film, I
just had to play myself.

I didn't see any other way.

But the movie's not about me.

It's about Mae.

Mae Roberts lives in a
small farming community,

in central California.

She's the matriarch of her
large, extended family.

She is tenderly loved and respected

for her wisdom, courage and strength.

But in five short weeks,

everything will change.

♫ Moments like this

♫ Sometimes I wish I could



♫ Bottle them and save them in time

♫ The look on your faces

♫ Feeling of grace

♫ Giving me wings so that

♫ I can fly

♫ Over the mountains

♫ And rise

♫ Up to the heavens

♫ And soar

♫ Here on the boundaries

♫ Of his light

♫ I wish that I

♫ Only had wings like the angels

♫ That sing of you

♫ Raise my arms up to the sky

♫ And fly

♫ Just fly

♫ Here on the boundaries of this life

♫ I know it's not time

♫ But someday I

♫ Will fly

- Just shoot!

- Shoot with what man?

The camera's down.

- With whatever you've got,
we're not MGM you know.

You have a cell phone?

- Yeah.

- Go ahead, use it.

- You want me to shoot with my cellphone?

- If it takes halfway
decent HD, just shoot.

- Cool.

Woo-hoo, this guy's killing me!

- You gotta shoot that guy.

- You're wasting time...

You two just
stand where you are, okay?

Don't go anywhere.

Don't move!

Please.

John!

John.

What are you doing man?

Look at the time.

I told you to get everything in

order before we got here, alright.

Now what are we gonna do?

- I tried Cathy.

You cast him, not me.

What can I do?

- Just get it in order.

- Alright sure, I'll take care of it.

You go cool down, it's not
gonna help if they're pressured.

- Fine.

Hey, hey!

- You're so good on camera.

- Seriously, man.

Dear God, am I ever gonna

be able to make a real
movie with real equipment?

Hey, Cathy here.

- Hey Cathy.

So I know it's your day off,

and I think you said you had a film shoot.

But I have a new client, and I need

someone to cover her
for the next few weeks.

It's a 24 hour shift, five days a week.

You wanted more work right?

So, are you up for it?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
sure, yeah I can do that.

Yeah I could really do with the money.

Thanks Julie, thanks for thinking of me.

So, when do I start?

- It's kind of short
notice, but like I said,

I need someone now.

Like, this afternoon.

Can you do it?

- Yeah, yeah, sure, just
give me the details,

and I'll go get ready.

- Great.

I'll do that right now.

You're gonna like this one,
they're a really nice family.

Nice home, and very friendly.

- Okay, yeah, yeah, thanks
for thinking of me Julie,

I really appreciate it.

- Sure.

You're amazing.

Thanks, and I'll send that over now.

- Great, again thanks for thinking of me,

I really appreciate it.

- Alright, talk to you later, bye-bye.

- Bye.

Crud.

- You've got this okay?

Okay.

- You can do it.

I've got this, okay?

- I've got this.

- Have fun.

Alright.

- Okay?

Okay.

- John, I'm sorry.

The rest of the shoot's up to you.

- What?

- Work called, I gotta go, okay?

Sorry, there's nothing I can do about it.

- You're kidding, again?

- Well hey, what do you think

finances this great production?

If I don't work, we don't shoot.

- But if you do work we don't shoot.

Hey, you can do it, alright?

You can do it, you've
got it, you can do it.

Yeah, so she calls me up
in the middle of the shoot,

and she says to me, "Can
you come in right now?"

- Seriously?

- Seriously.

But you know what, I'm not complaining.

I'm happy for the job.

I'm glad to have that.

I really missed you at the shoot today.

- Yeah I missed you too.

Sorry, it's hard to find a
sitter for the kids, you know?

- Yeah that's what you have
when you're a mom, right?

Trying to do all the
things that you have to do.

I tell you what then, it's not gonna

be easy, I've got five 24's ahead of me.

- It's really hard being
a caregiver isn't it?

- No it's not too hard, but I really

miss my graphic art days.

Paid twice as much money,
did half as much work.

And you know what?

In all honesty, sometimes
I feel like a hobo.

I move from place to place.
- You're not a hobo.

- It feels like it.

- Yeah well you're not.

- Anyway...

I don't wanna complain,
I'm not complaining.

Okay.

I can't stop and talk,
I'd love to be able to,

but I gotta get going.

- Well at least you have one.

I mean I've been looking for three months.

- You know what, God's
got something for you,

that's why it hasn't happened yet.

Okay, something special,
don't worry about it, alright?

I love you.

I'll talk to you later.

Okay, I'll call.

- Okay, I'll text.

- Hi, I'm Janice.

Hey Janice, I'm
Cathy, nice to meet you.

- Yeah come on in, I'll
give you the rundown.

Thanks, appreciate it.

Just let me clock in, okay?

- Yeah.

The agency just wants me to stay

and give you the rundown before I leave.

- Okay, so, what's going on?

- Well, she's kind of
a tricky one actually.

I've been here for three weeks now,

and the first week I was here for just

a couple hours a day, to help out.

But by the second week I
was here five days a week,

now it's the third week and they

need around the clock care.

- Wow.

Quick decline.

- Yeah.

Really quick.

I've never seen anyone
decline as quickly as Mae.

I mean when I first got
here, I was here for,

you know, to help out with Mae's bathing,

and some light housework,
and stuff like that.

She can get around pretty
well with her walker,

and do most things herself.

But then she started losing it,

and now she needs help
with just about everything,

I mean, meals, bathing, changing.

You get the picture.

- Some kind of dementia?

- Yeah, you know that's
what the doctors are saying,

they're just not sure exactly what it is.

- Right.

Dementia's the pits, I've
worked in dementia centers,

it's only one way, it's all downhill.

- Yeah well Mae's going downhill
alright, and really fast.

- Well that's really sad.

- It is sad, I mean, she's really sweet,

and the family is amazing,
you're gonna like it here.

Awesome.

- Well I think we should
get Mae up, and...

So I'll give you the rundown, come on.

Okay.

Let's do it.

Hey Mae, how you doing?

- Good thanks.

Well it's kind of
late, so how about we turn

the light off now and go to sleep?

- No, I don't want the light off.

Are you sure?

- I'm sure.

Can you leave it on?

It's kind of
late, aren't you tired?

- I'm not tired.

Please leave the light on.

Okay.

Alright.

Thank you.

- How do we grab 'em this time?

Another movie, yay!

This will be exciting.

- Turn the light on.

- I did turn the light off
Mae, because it's really late.

It's almost 12 am.

- But the TV's off too.

- It is, yes, well how about
I turn the bathroom light on?

Will that work for you?

- That would work.

- Okay, 'cause I want
you to be comfortable,

'cause it's your house, right?

Okay.

- It is my house.

- Okay, alright, well I'll
turn the bathroom light on.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

- So we just gonna brush your hair today,

or you want me to set it for you?

Brush it, or...

- Just brush it I suppose.
- Brush it?

- Hi!

Hi!

- I'm Alisa.

Mae's daughter.

- Hi Alisa, nice to meet you.

I really want to thank
you for the privilege

of taking care of your mom.

No thank you.

- Hi, grandma, it's Dawn.
- Come on in Dawn, come on in.

Cathy, this is my daughter Dawn,

Mae's granddaughter.

Hi Dawn nice to meet you.

She's a registered nurse

so she'll be helping with mother's care.

- A registered nurse?

Okay well I'm a CNA, so I'll
be your humble assistant.

No, no, I'll be assisting you.

You'll be the one doing all the hard work,

I just come and check
grandma's meds and say hi.

- Okay, alright, well, a
little crowded in here.

Just wanna move out?

Shall we get your shoes?

Okay let's go.

- How's the baby?

He's good, just
running around everywhere.

- Let's just get you in here Mae,

and get your shoes on here for the day.

Here we go.

Here we go.

- Good morning mother.

How did you sleep?

- I slept very well thank you.

But I went to bed way too early.

- Is 12 am too early?

Mother.

That's way too late,
you need to get to bed

a little bit earlier.

- Yes you really should grandma.

- Well you two, you know I'm a grown-up.

And I can go to bed
when I wanna go to bed.

- Okay but mother, you know if you

went to bed a little
earlier you'd feel better.

Well I just wanted to say hi.

I'll be back this afternoon to go

over grandma's meds with you.

Okay.

So are you working down at the hospital?

No, not yet.

I hope to but I'm waiting for
my California nursing license.

I just finished school back east,

but we decided to come home so

now I have to wait for everything

to go through all over again.

We are so grateful she's here.

I'm sure you are,

but I better watch out with an RN around.

Please, don't
think of me like that.

Actually I've always been more

comfortable hanging out
with the nurse assistants

than I have with the other nurses.

They're more real.

I'll see you this afternoon.

- Okay sweetie, love you.

Bye mom.

- I'll see you later sweetie.

Have a good day.

So mother I'll be back tonight, okay?

You know it's a beautiful day outside,

maybe you and Cathy can go for a walk?

Sure.

- So you'll be back for lunchtime?

- I'll see you tonight mother.

Okay?

I have to go to work, but I'll bring

you one of those summer
squash that you love so much.

The kids are working the corn patch,

so we'll bring you back one, okay?

So I'll see you tonight,
I have to go to work.

- So you'll be back at lunchtime?

- I'll see you tonight mother, okay?

I have to go to work.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Well have a beautiful day.
- I love you.

Bye mom.
- I love you too.

Bye.

- Bye.

- See you later.

Well here we go, let's go ahead

and get ready for the day for our walk.

- Do I need a jacket?

- Yeah it's a little cool outside.

Why don't we go ahead and do that.

This one, like this one, yeah, okay.

Good.

And anything else?

How about some sunglasses?

- Alright, it's in my purse in the closet.

This one?

Okay there you go.

You don't want your sunglasses?

- I do want my sunglasses.

- You want some help?

Could use some help, yeah?

Sunglasses?

There you go, they're sharp.

I like those.

Alright, let's go.

Hi, I'm Theo.

Hey.

- I'm Alisa's husband, Mae's son-in-law.

Okay, hi!

- And this is Steve.

- Hey Steve.

My pleasure.

- Nice to meet you both.

- Theo is my fix it man.

- Okay.

He's the one then that
turned the water off

when I was going to get Mae
in the shower yesterday?

- Did I do that?

I'm sorry.

- That's okay she didn't mind.

- I didn't wanna shower anyway.

- She hates making those
transfers so you saved her.

- Well next time I'll be sure

to ask before I turn anything off.

I mean it's hard to remember sometimes

that Mae's not in the
house by herself anymore.

- It's not hard for me.

Well I'll make certain

this fireplace works when he's finished.

Anyway, it's
very nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.

I'm sure we'll see you around.

Especially if Steve keeps breaking stuff.

- Fix!

I'll make sure there's
heat when he leaves.

Nice to meet you.

Well, we'll see you around.

- I'm telling you, this is gonna work.

Bigger hammer you think?

- If you need it.

- No this is...

That's your problem,
there's no wood in here.

Well no see...

Okay, no, try this.

- You're gonna hurt yourself young man,

here look out.

- Well no I'm gonna hurt,
put your hand right...

Okay there we go, and then we turn it.

- Beautiful.

- They just keep coming don't they?

- I really don't know what we're

gonna do about mother's care.

Look at this last bill from Home Health.

$6,000.

And that's only for part-time care.

- Wow.

What's it gonna be when
mother needs full time care?

Around the clock?

Did you get a quote from them?

- That I did.

You're not gonna believe it.

Here it is.

- $10,000?

You've got to be kidding me.

At that rate mother's money is gonna

run out in like 10 months.

- I know.

- And then what are we gonna do?

- I don't know.

I really don't know, because none

of us can afford it on what we earn.

I'm just hoping that the medication

that Dr. Morice prescribed helps her out.

- What does it do?

- It's supposed to help with her memory.

But she sure needs that.

- Yeah.

She does.

What about the hallucinations,

are they gonna help with those, or

did they say anything?

- No.

Hi, I'm so sorry.

I guess I should've knocked.

No, not at all.

Mother doesn't need to knock
on her own door does she?

- No I've never knocked before and

I'm not gonna do it now.

- Hi I'm Jamie, Mae's daughter.

I'm Cathy nice to meet you.

So you're sisters?

Yes.

- Which one of you is the older?

- Can't you tell?

No sorry, can't.

- I am.

Sweetie don't you have to go?

- Yeah I have to go, mother,
I have to go to work, okay?

And I'll be back later.

You have to leave?

Yes.

Mother, Alisa has to go to work,

but I'll be here with you, okay?

I will stay here with you
a little while longer,

because I have to do your bills, okay?

- Okay.

- I'll just be here doing the bills.

Good, okay.

- Remember...

On your birthday when mother
made this lasagna for you?

- How could I forget?

I'll never let her forget either.

She got your favorite mixed up with mine.

- I know.

- Mine will always be
her macaroni and cheese.

- Hi am I interrupting something?

You ladies okay?

Yeah.

We're okay.

We're just reminiscing.

- Do you come over here everyday?

Yes, we all do.

The entire family.

My mother's house is
the center of the world,

it really is.

All of her grandchildren,
her great grandchildren,

we're all in this together.

That's wonderful.

- And me, I...

A few months ago when
she started declining,

I quit my job so that I could come

over and help with the bills
and take her to the doctor.

Help her with things around the house.

- That's dedication.

This must all be really hard, I know.

It is.

It is for sure.

- Yeah it's real hard.

- But sometimes it gets worse.

- Remember that time...

The clothes basket episode.
- The clothes basket episode.

Wasn't she...

- What happened?

Tell her about it.

- What happened?

- Well mother never gets angry,

she's so calm and composed, and happy.

Well ever since this
went on with her illness,

everything's changed,
everything's different.

- So what took place?

What happened with the clothes basket?

Tell her.

- Mother she got angry,
but mother never swears.

I walked in about six months ago...

And she said, "There's a
man in my clothes basket."

In the clothes basket?

- She said, "There's a
man in my clothes basket.

"Get out of my house!"

She never swears but she said...

"Get out of the house you bastard!"

Dear, dear.

She never says that.

No.

- But that's not the funniest thing.

I remember one time, I came
over to mother's house,

and I come through the
door and she's yelling.

She's yelling at the top of her voice.

"Get out of here, get out of here!"

So I run inside, and I'm looking to see

what she's talking about, and I say

mother, what's going on?

She says, "Get that man out of here!"

And I'm looking 'cause I'm
thinking there's a man there.

And she's pointing at the couch.

So I look at the couch and, you know,

I go, I don't know what to do.

So she's, "Get him out of
here, get him out of here!"

So...

- So what'd you do?

- I didn't know what to do, so I said,

mother, okay, I'll walk over to the couch,

and I'll sit on him.

I'll sit on him, right?

- So what'd you do?

My goodness...

I didn't know what to do!

That was the hard situation, I didn't...

Did you sit on him?

- I walked over to the
couch, and I sat on him.

I sat and I squished
him down in the couch.

It was a hard situation.

'Cause I just didn't know what to do.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

So sorry.

- We are too.

I'm sorry.

- We are too.

Hey you, how are you doing?

- Hey good, good to see you.

- Yeah, you too.

- Well I hear we got a problem.

- Yeah, another camera's down.

- Great.

Like that's an expense we need right now.

- You're telling me, I'm the one

who has to deal with the
business account, remember?

I don't know what to do.

- I don't wanna be a
caregiver the rest of my life.

I mean, it's okay and everything,

and it pays the bills but,

I don't wanna do this
for the rest of my life,

until I'm as old as they are.

I mean I wanna do something that's

meaningful, something that's important.

That sounds terrible doesn't it?

- No I understand.

I mean you just wanna
do what you love, right?

I mean...

That's what we both wanna
do, we wanna make movies.

- I just wanna make movies.

That's all I wanna do.
- It's what we both wanna do.

- I just wanna do something...

I wanna do something that's important.

Something that changes
people's lives, you know?

Their lives are over.

Anyway...
- Sorry.

- If I don't get going I'm not gonna

get any money, 'cause
I'm not gonna have a job.

And then we won't be able
to pay anything off so,

I'll see you later, I'll
see you Wednesday okay?

- Okay.

- Okay love you.

- Love you too, I'll be praying for you.

Thank you.

Mae I need to change you,

or you're going to get
another bladder infection.

- I'm not...

Do you want that?

- I'm not getting up.

Mae please...

- It hurts, it hurts, I'm not getting up.

Okay, okay.

How about I call Jamie and you can

talk with her about it?

You need to get up Mae.

- Hello, this is Jamie?

- Hi Jamie, it's Janice.

I'm so sorry to bother you but,

I just didn't know what else to do.

Your mother, she's been
sitting in her chair

all morning and I need
to make the transfer

and she won't let me.

And I need to change her.

Can you talk with her?

I know she'll listen to you.

- Absolutely, just put
her on the phone please.

- Okay, thank you.

Here you go Mae, it's
your daughter, Jamie.

- Hello?

- Hello mother, it's Jamie.

- I know who it is.

- I know you know mother.

Now, Janice tells me that you
won't get out of your chair.

And she needs to change you.

- No, no, no, I'm not gonna
get up, it hurts, it hurts.

- Where does it hurt mother?

- It hurts everywhere.

It hurts!

- Mother, Janice needs you to get out

of your chair so that she can change you.

If you don't, you're going to get

another bladder infection.

- No, no, no, no, no, I'm not getting up.

No, no.

- Mother.

Janice is there to help you.

- No!

No, no, no.
- Mother.

- You have to let Janice help you.

You just do.

- I won't.

No, no, no, no.

- Please calm down, I need
you to do this for me.

Would you do this for me please?

- I'm sorry I don't mean to be a baby.

- I know you don't
mother, I know you don't.

But you have to calm down.

You have to let Janice help you.

You just have to.

- I'm sorry.

- Mother, I'm asking would you
please just do this for me?

- I'm sorry.

- Hi Jamie, it's Janice.

- Janice?

Hi.

Okay.

I think mother is willing
to work with you now.

I think everything will be okay.

- Alright, thank you.

I'm so sorry to bother you, I just...

I didn't know what else to do.

It's no bother.

If you need me, just call me anytime,

and I'll be right there, okay?

- Alright, thank you.

- Mother, mother.

My mother, where are you?

Where are you?

Where are you going?

Where have you been?

Okay Mae, let's try this again.

Alright.

Both your hands up here for me, okay?

We're gonna get you up.

Ready?

Here we go.

You can do it.

You can do it.

It's okay.

Alright.

It's alright.

Okay, alright.

Go ahead and sit back down.

Okay.

Okay, there you are.

Okay.

See?

You did it Mae, it's okay.

- Hey.

Hi.

- What's up, how's it going?

- Not good.

Not good at all, I can't even

get her out of her chair anymore,

without her completely losing it.

I have to change her in her chair now too.

- That's gotta be tricky.

- It's not easy but...

It's a lot better than trying to get her

to the bathroom or even to her bedroom.

- She in her bedroom now?

- Yeah she is but, I don't see the point

of that either, I mean, she doesn't sleep.

She won't sleep anymore.

I'm not kidding, she was
up until 2 am last night.

And then when she did fall asleep

she didn't rest anyways, I mean,

she was tossing and
turning all night long.

- Have they got her any meds yet?

- No they haven't, and
it's driving me crazy.

I mean what's the deal?

She's not even comfortable
in her own skin anymore.

She's literally climbing the walls.

I can't take...

I don't know.

- What is up with that stupid doctor?

- I don't know.

I don't get it.

Anyways, I better get out of here,

so you can get her up.

Apparently someone's coming this morning

from a residential home in town?

- What?

Yeah, I mean there's
only so much they can do.

They've only got so much money,

and then what happens when it runs out?

That is really sad.

- Yeah, well, I'll see
you in a couple days.

Everything's changing so quickly,

I can't imagine where
she'll be when I get back.

Call me if anything changes, okay?

- Okay.

See you later.

Crud.

Does your
mother use a wheelchair?

Or is she using a walker?

- A little bit of both.

When I take her to the doctor,

of course I use the wheelchair.

But when she's in the house, she kind

of gets on her scooter, and kind

of scoots herself along.

- How is her appetite, is she eating?

- That's changed too.

A couple of days ago
she was feeding herself,

but now she won't even eat unless

the caregiver feeds her.

The
forecast, plenty of sunshine

through today with seasonal temperatures.

We should reach our normal high of...

82 degrees, by this afternoon.

Clear skies tonight.

Hi Cathy.

Hey.

- Hey mother.

- Hey.

- Mother, this is Carol, and Carol

came to visit with you
today if that's okay?

- Hello Mae, how are you today?

Isn't it a beautiful day today?

- Yes it is.

Would you mind
if I take a seat over here?

My parents taught me how to be respectful

towards the elders so I just want

to make sure that you are comfortable

with me being here in your home.

Thank you.

Wow, what a beautiful home you have here.

And is that your walker?

- Yeah it is, I use it
sometimes, it helps.

Would you like to show me?

- I got it.

Thanks.

Well Mae, how about we give this a go?

Let's show 'em what we can do, okay?

'Cause we're a team.

You ready, put your hand on there,

put your other hand on there, okay.

Okay, on three, we can do it.

One, two, three.

That's good.

Good job mother!

- Look at that!

Wow!

Good job!

- Wow!

That was fantastic, you
did that like a champ.

That was wonderful.

- Well look at you Mae, it looks like

you can wheel your way
downtown if you wanted to.

Yeah.

- Well mother, Carol has to go now, okay?

And she will be back, okay, alright.

So.

- Hey that was really good.

- Excuse me.

Sorry.

Carol, this is my sister Alisa.

Alisa, this is Carol, the one that

I told you about from downtown.

- Pleased to meet you.

- Likewise.

- It was great meeting your mother,

she's very nice, and I'm looking forward

to seeing her again.

- Thank you.

- I better get going.

- Okay.

- So how did that go?

- It went amazingly well.

She just got up and did the transfer.

- You know I noticed she does

that when strangers are around.

At least some of the time.

I think she gets embarrassed.

- I think she does too so...

What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna move her?

What's wrong?

- I'm feeling so guilty.

You don't
have to feel guilty.

You didn't...

- We didn't do enough!

You didn't do this,

this isn't your fault.

Sometimes we feel guilty about things

we just shouldn't feel guilty about.

Well look, she didn't
do this, this isn't...

- Now we have this.

I don't wanna send her there.

This is her home.

You know?
- I know.

- I know but sometimes you have to go

and do what you have to do.

- I know we have to do
what's best for her.

But we promised.

We promised we would keep her home.

Until the end.

It's okay.

Maybe she'll do better.

Maybe she'll be okay.

Maybe she'll be alright.

- Do you really think so?

- I don't know, in the
end only God knows, right?

- All I know is we promised but...

But we need help.

Jamie is still looking at facilities

but we really need help.

We can't do this ourselves.

It's our mother, it makes it so hard.

I know, you know what, she is...

She's like my mom too now, I've just grown

so attached to her, I just love her.

You know I do everything I can.

- I know.

I'll be here with you.

If I could, I'd do it for nothing.

No, we can't, we
can't let you do that.

- Yeah I can't because
I work for an agency,

and it'd be unethical, but you know I'm...

We can't let you
do that, but thank you.

I'm so sorry.

Come on, let's go see how she's doing.

Mae, you've got to make
the transfer, okay?

Come on.

You've got to make the transfer.

- I don't want to.

- I know you don't want
to, but you need to.

Come on, let me help you.

- No!

- Mae, if you don't make this transfer,

you know what's gonna happen don't you?

Your family's gonna put you in

a skilled nursing home,
or something similar.

Okay.

They won't want to, but
they're going to have to.

You need to make this transfer.

- I don't think my children
would do that to me.

- Well I didn't say that
they were going to do that...

But if you...

What I meant was if you don't do that,

okay, they're not going
to have any choice.

They're going to have to put you

into skilled nursing, alright?

Please.

Just make the transfer.

Hi.

- Hi.

I'm Ray, Mae's son.

Hi, hi.

- This is my wife, Anna.

Come on in.

- Glad to meet you.

Glad to meet you too, Anna.

Let me get out of your way.

- Hello mother, how are you doing?

- I'm good, I've been busy, but I'm good.

Hi.

That's great.

So what do you do to keep busy?

What have you been doing?

- No I don't work.

- You look great mother.

- Thank you I go to my
hairdresser in downtown.

She does it everyday.

- Everyday?

We've been doing well.

The job keeps me busy,
and when I'm not working,

Anna keeps me busy.

It's the only way I
can keep him out of trouble.

- Jamie says you have a
doctor's appointment next week?

How's that been going?

You like your doctor?

- I can't find it, I can't find it.

- You can't find what mom?

- My purse, it's gone again.

Here it is, the doctor, it's right here.

- Is this what you wanted?

Do you want me to take that?

I could put it away for you.

- No, you don't want it.

I don't want it.

- Mother?

Mother.

We have to leave now.

We'll be back soon.

Mother.

I love you mom.

- It was nice meeting you.

Thank you for taking care of mom.

- Hey Mae.

Drink?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, okay.

Mae?

Mae, what are you doing?

Mae, why are you taking your shirt off?

- I'm not taking my shirt off.

- Well then it's a little crooked, okay?

So let's...

Do you put your shirt back on.

I mean, let's straighten it out, okay?

- Okay.

- What are you laughing at?

- Isn't he cute?

Isn't who cute, what, who?

- The puppy, right there.

So cute.

Yeah, he's really cute.

He's cute.

But he probably doesn't belong in here,

so why don't we take him out?

And while we're out there,
you wanna go for a walk?

- Okay.

- Yeah, okay.

Come on then.

Put your hands up there.

- I'll do this later, thank you honey.

- What's wrong?

You look positively miserable.

It's that obvious?

Jamie called and said mother's
taken a turn for the worse.

- I'm so sorry honey.

- And she said we need
to get together soon,

and go over our options
of what to do next.

Her dementia's worse.

And she needs help feeding.

- Well, it sounds to me like
she needs professional help,

and people who know what they're doing.

What other options are there,

none of us can help her.

- Well the girls wanna keep her at home

as long as possible, I think that's

mother's preference as well.

- That's ludicrous.

Your mom needs professional help.

- Well we did hire some local caregivers

from a local agency.

- Caregivers?

What does a caregiver know anyway?

Besides, what if something goes wrong,

and she needs immediate medical attention?

- Well it's not like they can't dial 911.

And besides, Dawn is there,
and she's a registered nurse.

- Yeah, but with how much experience?

Didn't she just get her license?

- She got her license six months ago,

it doesn't make her any less of a nurse.

- Your mother needs to be

in a nursing home or a hospital.

Where they hire trained, and
experienced professionals.

- Not everybody has to have an alphabet

after their name, like you do.

- Education is knowledge,
and knowledge is power Joe.

I have told you that a thousand times.

Besides, this is your mother
we're talking about here.

Not your dog.

- Whatever Al, we need to go
see mom as soon as possible.

- I can't.

I have work, you know that.

- Hun.

Just this last time, okay?

You're good at this sort of thing,

you can help sort things out.

That's what we need help...

You're good at that kind of thing.

Right?

- Are you being smart?

- No I'm not being smart.

What if she dies?

When's the last time you've seen her,

it's been several years.

How would you feel then?

- I'll see what I can do.

- Thanks hun.

I love you.

- Mae, Mae, Mae, Mae.

Let's keep your nightgown on, okay?

Let's keep your nightgown on, alright?

Come on, let's put you back into bed,

you need to sleep.

Come on then, let's slip back into bed.

Come on.

Okay, why don't you just
stay in bed, alright?

Okay?

Just stay in bed, it's okay, it's alright.

Stay in bed, alright?

Mae, no, Mae, Mae, please.

Mae, leave it on, okay?

I want you to leave it on.

Okay.

Keep it on.

Come on, let's go.

Let's go back into bed.

That's it, that's it.

Alright.

It's okay, it's alright.

Okay?

Mae.

Please.

Just leave it on.

Okay?

It's alright, it's okay, it'll be alright.

It's okay, come on.

Okay, come on.

Here.

It's alright, it's okay.

Come on.

God.

♫ Amazing grace

♫ How sweet the sound

♫ That saved

♫ A wretch

♫ Like me

♫ I once was lost

♫ But now

♫ I am found

♫ Was blind

♫ But now

♫ I see

♫ When we've been there

♫ 10,000 years

♫ Bright shining

♫ As the sun

♫ We've no less days

♫ To sing God's praise

♫ Then when

♫ We first begun

- I don't get it.

I just don't get it.

I don't understand.

Why does she have to suffer?

Why?

Why does she have to suffer?

She's gonna die.

Why?

Even dogs...

Even dogs get a better...

Even dogs get a better deal of it.

When they're sick you just take them

to the vet and you just
kill 'em with a shot.

And...

And they're gone.

Why does she have to suffer like this?

Why?

You said...

You said if we believe...

You'd do anything.

You said if we believe
you can do anything.

I believe.

I do.

I really do believe.

How much?

How much do you have to believe?

How much do you have to believe

before you do the things...

You said you'd do?

Damn it!

I believe.

I believe, please.

Just let her die.

Just let her die.

Tonight.

Just let her die tonight.

Please?

Please?

Mae, Mae, Mae, Mae...

- Hey.

Where are you going?

Everything alright honey?

- I guess so.

I just feel so bad for grandma.

- We all do.

I think it's even worse for
your mom and aunt Jamie.

- I know.

Mom told me she broke down
crying at work yesterday.

Had to hide in the
bathroom for 15 minutes,

till she could pull it together.

- Neither of them like to make a scene.

Hi.

Just a second, I'll get her for you.

It's Cathy.

- Hello?

I'll be right there.

- Is everything alright?

- I hope so.

Call mom and tell her to
meet me at grandma's please.

- I'm on it.

- Wait, I need to call Leah.

- Hey.

- Hi.

I just wanted to let you know

that grandma's taken a turn for the worse.

Can you call Melissa
and let her know please?

Thanks.

I love you, but I gotta get ready.

She can't do it Dawn.

She just can't do it anymore.

She's been like this all night.

All night long.

She's been taking her shirt on and off.

And on and off.

She needs pain meds.

This is where we're at.

I want you to see something.

You need to understand.

Mae?

Mae?

Mae?

I want you to sit up please.

Mae?

Mae I want you to sit up please.

She can't do it.

- I'm sorry.

- Go mom, I'll take care of it.

- I just need a moment.

- Sure.

- I see what you're saying, I see.

What do you want me to do?

- We need meds.

I want you to talk to your mom.

I want you to talk to Jamie.

Please.

We need meds.

We need pain meds, we need something

to help her to sleep.

They'll listen to you.

You're an RN.

They'll listen to you.

- Yes I can do that.

I'll talk to mom, I think she sees now.

Just...

We didn't realize how far it had gone.

I know.

Okay.

- I'll talk to mom and aunt Jamie.

Okay, good.

Thank you.

God.

- So nice to see you again.

Thank you, you too.

- So how's your mother doing?

- Not good.

In fact she's getting worse,

and that's why I'm here today.

I'm just wondering if you feel that

she could fit in here?

Your mother would
be so happy to be here.

And as I have told you before,

we can accommodate all of her needs here.

- Okay.

Well during our last conversation,

I forgot to ask you if
you have a nurse on staff?

You know someone that would be

able to help her with her special needs?

- No, we don't have a nurse here,

but we do have many years of experience

in caring for the elderly.

If she needs more intensive caring

then we would have to increase the rate,

as I have told you before.

- I understand.

I noticed that your rates are comparable

to the skilled nursing
facilities around town.

- That might be so, but,

here she will be so much more comfortable.

Here she will be, you know,

living in a home setting, which is

what she's more used to.

Why don't we step into my office,

so we can talk more about the finances,

and we can also talk
about the extra services

she will be needing.

- Alright.

I just wanna do what's best for my mother.

She's really declining, fast.

Cathy.

- Hey.

- Hi.

It's so nice mother's
finally asleep right now.

- Tell me about it.

She hasn't had a decent
nights sleep for forever.

- I know.

- How are you doing?

- Okay.

- Okay?

- So...

What are you gonna do?

Have you decided yet?

- Well we all decide together.

But mother gave Jamie
the power of attorney.

I see.

- Jamie's always been mother's favorite.

And I understand that,
she's the eldest and all.

- No.

I don't know but, I know that

Jamie makes good decisions
and researches everything.

Looks into everything.

In fact she's at that care home right now,

that lady that was here last week.

- That caregiver that was here?

- Yeah.

- What's her name?

- Carol.

- Carol?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, Carol.

Do you really think that's a good idea?

Have you seen the care home yourself?

I mean they're not better equipped

to take care of her than, what,

we are here, in your own home.

Mae doesn't wanna go anywhere,

and I mean I could understand

if it was skilled nursing.

What if they try and
make her two person...

They're not even equipped to
make a two person transfer.

If she falls on the...

What if they drop her?

If she was in skilled nursing at least

they've got people that
know what they're doing.

If they drop her and break her hip,

she's gonna die in pain, I mean...

You know, I don't...

It's not my place to
tell you what to do and

I don't mean to be telling
you what to do, but...

I mean really?

- I want her to stay home.

I do.

- Yeah.

- But we haven't decided anything yet.

- Yeah.

- We're gonna all decide together.

- Okay.

Well you know what?

It's my day off.

In my opinion this is about decision,

I'm gonna have a break for a little while.

I'll see you later.

Tight!

- What's going on?

- It's worse than ever.

Still no pain meds.

- You're kidding.

- No, I'm serious.

- But how long has it been happening?

- That's been going on for the last

couple of hours and it won't stop.

I don't know what to do.

Hold me tight.

I'm gonna get
going, I'll see you later.

Okay I'll see you later.

Mae?

- Don't leave me, hold
me tight, tight, tight.

Mae?

- Tight, tight, tight!
- Mae what's wrong?

Mae, Mae, Mae.
- Tight, tight, no!

- What's the matter, Mae, Mae, Mae?

- Don't leave me!

No!

- Mae, what's wrong?

- Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.

- Mae, what's wrong?

Mae, what's the matter, Mae?

- No, no, no.

- Mae, come here.

No, hold me tight,
hold me tight, tight, tight.

- Grandma are you alright?

Cathy what's happening?

- Look at me, look at
me, it's okay, it's okay.

Hold me tight, tight, no, no.

- She's in pain.

We need meds Dawn, and we need them now.

Tight, tight.

- I'll be right back, I'll be right back.

- I called aunt Jamie, now she's outside,

she just pulled up.

- Okay, I'm coming back.

- No, no, no.

I'll be back, I'll be back.

- Don't go!

Don't leave me.

I'll be back.

- Don't go, don't go, don't go.

I'll be right back.

- Hold me tight!

Hold me tight, tight,
hold me tight, tight!

Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.

Hurt, hurt.

- We need meds.

Hold me tight!

- Jamie.

- Tight, tight, tight.

- And we need them now,
please call the doctor.

Hurt, hurt, hurt.

Hold me tight, hold me tight!

- You know if you can't get the doctor

we can just take her to the ER.

Hurt, hurt, don't leave me.

Tight, tight, don't leave me!

Hold me tight, hold me
tight, hold me tight!

Hold me tight, don't leave me!

Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.

Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.

It's okay, Mae.

- Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.

- I don't...

- Just give it to me.

- The caregiver would like to talk to you.

- Where is she?

- She's right here.

- Fine.

Let me talk to her.

- Thanks.

Hi, I'm Cathy.

And I'm Mae's caregiver.

Yeah, I'm a CNA, and I've
worked in dementia...

- Look.

I don't want your resume, okay?

Just tell me what the problem is.

- The problem is she's in pain.

- Where is the pain?

- It started in her
knees, it's gone to her...

You know, now it's everywhere.

She doesn't sleep, she's
climbing the walls.

- And how do you know she's in pain?

- How do I know she's in pain?

- Yes.

How do you know?

- Because she screams, that's how I know.

- I see.

- Fine.

I'll give you back to her daughter then.

Witch.

- Doctor Morice, hi it's Jamie.

- I want you to bring your mother in,

first thing tomorrow morning.

I'm gonna transfer you to reception now.

Thank you so much, thank you.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

No.

I don't...

Maybe, I don't...

- So...

What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna move her?

- I don't know.

I don't know.

Everybody is asking me what I'm gonna

do about mother, and I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know what to do.

Should I put her in a skilled nursing,

should I put her in the hospital?

Should I take her to that
home health downtown?

I don't know.

I don't know!

- What is your heart telling you?

- My heart?

My heart...

Tells me...

To keep my mother at home.

- Seems to me you've got your answer then.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Hey, I didn't do it.

You did it.

- Can I ask you something?

Sure.

- Would you stay with us?

I mean, till the end?

- Yeah.

I can do that.

- Okay.

- But then you know what?

- What?

- We'll get pen and paper.

'Cause there's things we gotta get,

and you got shopping you gotta do.

- Alright.

Okay?

- Alright.

Okay?

- I got a job.

You got a job.

- I can do that, I can shop.

That's what I'm good at.

I can do that.

Thank you.

- Yes!

Yes.

- Hi.

Are you Krista, from hospice?

I am.

- Nice to meet you.

- Thank you.

- Family's in the kitchen.

Please sit down.

Thank you.

- Is this a bit much for you?

We're kind of all in this together.

- It's really nice.

Most time you only see
one or two family members

in this situation.

Not in my mother's house.

This is the center of the world.

Hi, my name is Jamie.

- Krista.

- This is my daughter, Dawn, she's an RN.

- Nice to meet you.

And her brother, Joe.

- Hi welcome.

- Thank you.

- Mother is asleep right now,

the new medication we gave her is

really allowing her to rest.

- Yes I heard you had a little difficulty

with that but I'm glad
it's all worked out now.

As you know, I'm from hospice.

Dr. Morice has sent me over
to help with Mae's needs.

Now I understand she's not
eating, is that correct?

- Yes, that's right,
she's refusing to eat now.

- I see.

Is she taking on fluids?

Not really,
Cathy's been using the

pick in her, but she
aspirates even with that.

- I'm going to order some supplies.

Hospice is going to make
everything easier for you.

And the doctor has ordered

some morphine to help with Mae's pain.

Thank God, because it's
so hard to watch her suffer.

- I'm sure it has been.

So, shall we go and see Mae now?

- Absolutely.

It's this way.

Hey honey, you here?

- Yeah.

Aren't I always?

- That you are.

And that's just why I
brought you supplies.

- Alright.

- We got ice cream, candy,
your favorite pastries.

- Steve, what can I do to help?

- We got it, thanks for being here.

- These are definitely
things we're going to need.

- I knew you would.

Gotta feed the troops, right?

That's what you do.

- Yeah, well if we eat
these things too long,

it'll be a race to see
which one of us goes first.

- Give me a bite, we'll go together.

- Hey, how are you doing?

Hi Jamie, doing good.

- Good.

- So, how's mother?

- Not good.

Yeah.

You can go in and see her, but she

may not be able to see you.

We're just not sure if she's just

not understanding who we are, or if

she's losing her sight.

- When was the last time she saw a doctor?

- She saw a doctor two days ago.

Jamie's got this under control.

- Jamie has this.

Johnny.

I'm sure she does,
come on, let's go see mother.

- It's alright.

Hi.

- Hi.

Are you Cathy?

- Yeah, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.

We've heard all these
good things about you.

Glowing reports.

Just glowing.

So...

Tell me Cathy, how long
have you been doing

this care-giving thing?

- About 10 years now.

- You're a nurse then?

- No, no, I'm just a lowly CNA.

- What's that you're doing?

- I got it, I got it.

Well in your professional opinion,

don't you think that Mae should

be in a skilled nursing facility?

- Not at this point.

- Well...

Shouldn't she be in a hospital?

With your qualifications,
don't you think...

I've got it!

Don't you think that she
should be in a hospital?

- We don't have much time.

Would you like to try this?

- Yes I would.

- This helps her not to aspirate.

If you just...

Moisten it and...

Gently tap her lips there, it'll help her.

- Like this?

- Yeah.

- Press down?

Hey Melissa and Jordy, why don't

you go see your grandmother?

- Grandma?

It's Melissa.

I love you.

I love you grandma.

Let's bring
it down just a little.

Pieces, where all the pieces...

- What are you doing ladies,

let us do that, you're gonna hurt

yourselves, I've got it, I've got it.

- So, we have an idea.

- What's that?

- Well you know how much
mother loves Christmas?

- You mean how much we
love Christmas at mother's?

- Yeah, that too.

Anyway, we decided to do
Christmas early this year.

- Yeah really early, it's only November.

- That's okay, mother will love it.

- She will.

- We need to put the ends on first.

♫ Silent night

♫ Holy night

♫ All is calm

♫ All is bright

♫ Round yon virgin

♫ Mother and child

♫ Holy infant

♫ So tender and mild

♫ Sleep in heavenly peace

♫ Sleep in heavenly peace

♫ Silent night

♫ Holy night

♫ Shepherds quake

♫ At the sight

♫ Glories streams

♫ From heaven above

♫ Heavenly hosts

♫ Sing alleluia

♫ Christ the Savior

♫ Is born

♫ Christ the Savior

♫ Is born

♫ Hallelujah

♫ Hallelujah

♫ Christ the Savior is born

♫ Hallelujah

♫ Hallelujah

♫ Christ the Savior is born

♫ Christ the Savior is born

♫ Silent night

♫ Holy night

- Jamie doesn't remember
the holidays in France

when mom and dad were stationed there.

And Alisa doesn't remember them at all,

because she wasn't even around then.

- That's right, she wasn't born yet.

- Those holidays were really special.

I mean not just for our family,

but for everybody who was stationed there.

You know, they'd all come to our house

for the holidays.

- Mother would cook.

- She would, and you know, it was never

a problem for her to put
another plate on the table.

It was just what she did.

- Everyone was welcome.

- But my favorite, remember that, though?

Mother's prune cake.

With peanut butter
frosting, it was the best.

You gotta try that.

Dawn I should
make that prune cake.

- She made the...

That one time she made
for the cakes for the 4H,

every year she did.

- Yep, the cake walk.

- 4H cake walk.

- Yeah.

I remember that.

- I would play that cake walk
every year until I got it.

- And I remember mom asked you,

she said, "Why do you
always pick that cake?"

And you said, "Because
that's my favorite cake."

Which meant that you
always got your first pick

before I got mine.

And you remember she always would bake

chicken leg dinner for my birthday.

That's right, if we were lucky

we got the cake.

- That's right.

No, no, no, and then ketchup.

Remember the ketchup?

- I do.

- Father made us go out and pick

600 pounds of tomatoes
to make homemade ketchup,

that should last a long time.

- How can you forget?

It was the best ketchup ever.

And ever, and ever, and ever.

There was so much of it.

- That one time it only lasted
like six months one time.

'Cause we had so many barbecues.

- It's true, that was a lot of work.

- So good.

- What about that time you got in trouble?

- Which time?

- Do we have to go there?

Yeah, you have to tell it.

- Tell it, tell the story.

- Father caught him cheating, and he

made him write out that sentence

about 500 times on the wall.

But that's not the end, on top of it

he made him go in the back and
dig a hole in the backyard.

Huge hole.

Yeah, I remember that!

Yeah that's right...

- Probably still see it.

- That was work!

I never did that again though.

- Those are all good memories.

- She squeezed Jamie's hand.

- What?

- Mother.

She squeezed Jamie's hand this afternoon.

- And?

- We were both holding her hands.

Jamie was on the right.

And I was on her left.

And I asked mother if she could hear us,

if she would squeeze our hands.

She squeezed Jamie's hand.

But she didn't squeeze mine.

Alisa.

That's only because she's right handed.

She doesn't have much
strength left, that's all.

- Jamie's always been mother's favorite.

- No, I watched the way she looks at you.

She loves you very much.

- Yeah.

- It's time.

It's been an hour.

Thank God for morphine.

I don't think I could do this without it.

Thanks Dawn.

- I'm so sorry.

I know I should have come earlier.

But I've been praying for you.

Hey.

- I'm gonna miss her so much.

She's always been there.

Thank you for
everything you've been doing.

Everything you've done for her.

I could never have gone
through this without you.

Here.

Why don't you do this?

You're better at it than I am anyway.

I need a little break, okay?

I'm gonna take a walk.

- Okay.

It's okay mother.

We'll be okay.

You can go now.

- My job's done.

- Cathy listen.

Don't be a stranger, okay?

We're family now.

- In Home Health, Julie speaking.

- Hi Julie.

Cathy here.

It's over.

Mae's gone.

- How are you?

- Yeah, I'm okay.

I guess.

You know what?

- What?

- It matters, what we do.

The job, it matters.

- Yeah.

It does.

Maybe more than we'll ever know.

- Thanks for the job.

Thanks for the privilege.

- My pleasure.

Bye-bye.

It's been a year

since Mae's been gone.

Everybody misses her.

As for me...

I'm still caregiving.

And...

I'm still making movies.

♫ It was a long dark road

♫ That left me standing here

♫ Missing you

♫ Now everywhere I go

♫ Seems I can feel you near

♫ But I keep missing you

♫ I'm still missing you

♫ And when my arms are aching

♫ To hold you tonight

♫ I know I cannot reach to where you are

♫ I'll hold you forever

♫ In my heart

♫ I cried an ocean of tears

♫ That carried me to the shore

♫ Where I remember you

♫ I remember you

♫ And when my arms are aching

♫ To hold you tonight

♫ I know I cannot reach to where you are

♫ I'll hold you close

♫ And keep you forever in my heart

♫ And though my arms are aching

♫ To hold you tonight

♫ And though I cannot
reach to where you are

♫ I'll hold you close

♫ And keep you safe

♫ And hold you forever in my heart