Two on a Guillotine (1965) Movie Script

No.

Sensational, honey.

Merely sensational.

Is that a showman,

or is that a showman?

- How's Cassie?

- Happy as a pig in a mud hole.

That's our

dressing room, alright.

Oh, Cassie.

What's the matter, sweetheart?

Look what you've done. Aw.

Dolly.

Dolly!

How'd it go, honey? Did you

scare the pants off of 'em?

You come here

and clean this baby up.

Alright. As soon as I finish making

Mr. Duquesne's drink.

Don't bother, I'll do it.

= it's no bother.

I said I will do it!

Come on, sweetheart.

Come on, come to...

Oh, look at you.

Aw, what a cute face.

Did you want makeup on too?

We'll get you all cleaned up.

I had a little brother j

j his name was tiny Tim j

j I put him in the bathtub

to teach him how to swim j

j he drank up all the water j

j he ate up all the soap j

j he died last night

with a bubble in his throat j

j and... j

Dolly, do you mind?

Cassie likes it. She's smiling.

It went beautifully tonight, Melinda.

Just beautifully.

You know,

we may be able to get along

without the rope hanging

from the scaffold.

I don't like the way it cuts off

the circulation in your arms.

Don't tamper with the

trick. We've made money with it.

I started using

that trick in 1935.

That's ten years ago.

It's outlived itself.

So it's good for another

ten years, maybe 20.

There's always

a greater illusion, my friend.

Melinda and I are planning

an entirely new finale

for the European tour.

- Well, there we are.

- All cleaned up for daddy.

- Did the new costume arrive?

- Oh, yes. There it is.

Came while you were on stage.

Uh-huh. Hold it up, Melinda,

so we can get a good look.

It's a knockout,

but what's it for?

Marie antoinette, the new finale.

They'll eat it up in France.

Come on, we'll show him.

=I don't want to. I'm tired.

- It'll only take a second.

- I don't want to.

Come on, darling.

It'll just be a minute.

Come along, Mr. press agent,

we'll show you something

you can really rave about.

Cassie, you've got the most

wonderful daddy in the world.

Tonight, we'll come back after

a good dinner and rehearse it.

There it is, buzz.

Designed it myself.

The workmen just finished it.

So that's the contraption you

put out five grand for, huh?

It's a lot for one trick.

= [it'll be worth it.

Think of the tie-in

for a French audience.

Beheading of Marie antoinette.

I'll show you how it works.

You'll run through an awful lot

of wives with that contraption.

Isn't it a darling little

machine, Melinda?

No American home

should be without one.

Here we go.

Duke, that's Cassie's doll.

I'll get her another

in the morning.

A poor substitute for you,

my dear.

The darn things never work

when you really need them.

Hello.

Miss Duquesne? = yes.

I'm very sorry I'm late.

My plane was a bit delayed.

- Are the services over?

- We were just about to begin.

Please accept my

sincerest sympathy.

Thank you. Thank you

for all you've done, sir.

If you'll wait over there

for just a moment.

Alright, thank you.

Excuse me.

Melinda.

Who's the blonde?

I don't know, but I wonder what

she's doing after the funeral.

Cassie, honey.

Don't you remember me?

It's Dolly.

Dolly bast. Remember?

I was your nursemaid.

This is buzz Sheridan.

I was your father's manager

and press agent.

I-I can't get over it, you look

exactly like your mother.

Like she's come back

after all these years.

Hey, Sheridan.

Come here a minute.

Oh, excuse me, Cassie.

Do you expect us

to believe this?

Alright. Alright.

So you don't believe it.

So it's no skin off my teeth,

go on home.

He meant that he'd positively

return from the other side?

He said he'd try.

He thought he could.

He will, Cassie. Yes, he will.

Come on, what's he gonna do?

Jump out of the grave?

You never can tell. Not with

the great Duquesne, you can't.

- Keep your eyes open.

- Ready to begin, miss Duquesne.

Perhaps you will want

to stand beside me.

Just one second, reverend,

if you please.

Alright, fellows.

What are those for?

It was his last wish.

He said he didn't want

to do anything the easy way.

No. Stop that. Don't do that.

= wait. Wait. Cassie.

- Stop it!

- Cassie, please.

Mr. Sheridan, please stop this.

It's what he wanted, Cassie.

He wanted this chain, the casket

with the window in it?

This is the most inexcusable,

tasteless thing.

- I quite agree, miss Duquesne.

- And so do I, reverend.

Your father made me promise.

I gave my word as his friend.

You gave your word for what?

In turning something reverend

into a cheap

theatrical sideshow like this?

What kind of a friend are you?

I've never been

so disgusted in my life.

What's this about, Sheridan?

= who is she?

- Is this Duquesne's daughter?

- What's going on, Sheridan?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

She's Duquesne's daughter.

- She came from back east for...

- She's the daughter?

Miss Duquesne?

- Just a few words.

- Please, just a moment.

- No.

- How about a picture?

How do you feel about your father

coming back from the grave?

Did he say anything

to you about it?

I didn't know my father.

I haven't heard or seen him

for about 20 years.

There's really nothing

I can say or I care to say.

- Please leave me alone.

- Get a picture.

No. No. Stop it.

I told you not to do that.

Well, it did us a lot of good.

Let's get back to Sheridan.

It can't be

a cheap grab for attention.

Why not?

Since when does

a dead man need publicity?

Since egocentric hams

came into existence.

- Oh, no. No.

- Duquesne was one of the worst.

No, it's something else.

Has to be.

Twenty years ago, he was

at the height of his career.

He has money, fame,

and the works.

And like that, he retires.

Withdraws from public,

from his friends.

Just doesn't sound like

a publicity-seeking ham to me.

I'm listening.

Well, something happened.

I think it had to do with this.

I know all about it.

I wrote this story myself

when I was a reporter.

You...

Well, now, why didn't you

tell me that, huh?

Duquesne loved her very much.

When she walked out on him

and the baby, that was it.

He just cracked up.

His world was gone.

Didn't he ever try to find her?

Police did.

Came up with nothing.

Evidently, Melinda wanted

to get good and thoroughly lost.

And she succeeded.

Another man?

Mm, lot of people thought so.

It's too bad.

She was a beautiful woman.

Yeah. I saw her today.

- What?

- Duquesne's daughter.

She looks exactly that. Exactly.

She came for the funeral.

Her father's will's

being read tomorrow.

Where has she been

all this time?

Some place in Wisconsin.

Seems they farmed her out

to an old maternal aunt after

her mother's disappearance.

Never knew her father.

Where did you learn all this?

From her. Drove her back

from the cemetery.

Well, might make a nice

little human interest story.

Well, could be.

"Abandoned in life, meet only at

graveside," something like that.

Could you set up

an interview in the morning?

No, I'm afraid not.

She's allergic to printer's ink.

Well, evidently

she talked to you.

Yeah, well, actually, she...

She doesn't know I'm a reporter.

So, who says you are?

Mr. Carmichael, you have

a wicked and devious mind.

- You know where she's staying?

- Mm-hm, but she won't be there.

She'll be at the reading

of her father's will.

By the way,

it's being held here.

By Duquesne's express wish.

An old ham. Difficult.

Difficult of him.

Even in death,

he does everything in style.

As if the dignity of the

legal profession were being used

for some amateur theatrical.

I knew your father only

slightly, miss Duquesne.

But frankly, had he told me

that these proceedings

would be held under such

ridiculous circumstances,

I would've refused

to represent his estate.

I hope you don't find

my attitude uncharitable.

Also, I should like

to make it abundantly clear

that the late Mr. Duquesne

made out this will

without any legal assistance

whatsoever.

However, as far as I can

determine, it's all legal.

Properly signed and witnessed

according to law.

Like we shouldn't get any ideas

about contesting it, huh?

Shame on you. Whatever Duke

wanted, it's our duty to obey.

- We owe him that.

- Yes, well...

"I, John hanley Duquesne,

being of sound mind and body,

do hereby bequeath

all my property

to my daughter Cassandra

in the Sincere hope that

she may forgive me for these

many long years of neglect.”

Well, darling,

you can't win 'em all, huh?

Please, Mr. Sheridan.

There is a condition attached.

"I ask my daughter Cassandra,

who, being my only flesh

and blood kin, is the one person

on earth most closely attuned

to my immortal spirit,

to assist me in my hope of

returning from the dead

by taking up residence for

a minimum period of seven days

in the house where I lived

these past 25 years.

The home to which

my spirit will return

and make its presence

known to her.

I make it a binding condition

that she be in the house

each night between the hours

of midnight and dawn.

If for any reason, whatsoever,

not excluding illness or death

my daughter is

unwilling or unable

to accede to this condition,

I direct that my estate

be divided up as follows.

One half to my loyal

manager and press agent

Mr. Jules "buzzy" Sheridan

to join those sums he has

stolen from me in the past.

And one half to Ms. Dolly bast,

in appreciation for having given me,

as she never tired

of pointing out,

the best years of her life.

Signed, John hanley Duquesne.”

That ends the reading

of the testament.

Miss Duquesne, may I speak

to you for a moment, please?

May I congratulate you,

miss Duquesne.

- This is the key to the house.

- Thank you.

$300,000 is a great deal

of money, miss Duquesne.

Should you in the future need

any advice on investments,

trusts, anything at all,

please, feel free to call me.

Thank you very much.

I'm very sorry he didn't leave

either of you anything.

He did, honey. He left us a lot

of memories. He was a great man.

Dolly, Mr. vickers was telling

me at breakfast how you have

taken care of my father

all of these years.

You're perfectly welcome to stay

at the house if you'd like.

No. I-l couldn't do that.

I'll come out sometime

next week to pick up my things.

Really, please feel free to.

= no.

It's you he wants

to come back to.

Hi.

Well, hello.

What are you doing here?

I remembered you were

coming out this morning.

Thought you might like lunch.

Oh, no, thanks. I've got a lot

to do before this evening.

How did the will go? Your father

leave anything to you?

Well, yes. Everything.

Why are you so interested?

Well, as I said, I'm an

admirer of your father's.

You know that old house of his

always fascinated me.

- You going out there?

- Later.

Well, it's an hour's drive

north of here.

Be happy to take you out

if you like.

No, thanks. Not to be rude, but

I think I can make it on my own.

Goodbye.

Somebody here expectin' you?

Mm, nobody.

You mean, you're gonna

stay here all by yourself?

Yes.

Well, good luck.

Hi.

- Sorry.

- What are you doing here?

It's what I told you at the bowl.

I'm interested in the house.

Oh. = yeah.

I work for my uncle.

He's a builder.

He's had an eye on

your father's place.

Kind of interesting, isn't it?

Sorry, I forgot your name.

= val Henderson.

What he has in mind is putting up

an exclusive subdivision.

With modern homes, maybe a

shopping center, a bowling alley...

Mr. Henderson, I'm not very

interested. Will you excuse me?

Miss Duquesne, this could be an

important project for this area.

That's fine.

I don't know what your business

ethics are, if you have any.

They certainly don't seem

to include any decency.

My father was buried yesterday.

Miss Duquesne, if I could have

one more moment of your time.

I'm gonna level with you.

I feel terrible, I really do.

It was my uncle's idea.

He said, "you get out there

and get a deal or you are fired."

He's not a very nice man,

miss Duquesne.

How about it, huh?

If I thought those reporters

at the funeral were contemptible,

I think that you and your uncle

are beneath contempt.

Now, are you gonna go?

Yeah.

What is it?

What happened?

Oh, it's on a wire. Runs

up to that cabinet up there.

I just pressed that

switch by the door.

I thought it was

the light switch.

Your father must have

been a million laughs.

Come on, let's find

the real light switch.

Here it is.

He couldn't have had much

of an electric bill.

I've seen better lighting

in the tunnel of love.

I guess he liked the atmosphere

dark and mysterious like this.

Uh-huh.

- We've got a visitor.

- Hey, isn't he cute?

- Yeah.

- What are you doing here?

Every magician

has to have a rabbit.

For pulling out of hats.

Hope he didn't have two.

It'd get awful crowded in here.

- Here we go.

- I'll take care of you later.

I don't think I'd better leave

until we've checked this place.

- Oh?

- Well, it's the least I can do.

Alright, thanks.

= you're welcome.

Well, shall we

go get acquainted?

Uh, with the rest of the house.

Yup.

Well, let's start

on the lower floor.

Okay.

First catacomb to the left.

Here we have the boer war

with the original cast.

Coming up, old aunt Harry.

She wasn't feeling

too well that day.

Well, here's a

nice-looking door, right here.

It's a music room. = yeah.

- You play anything?

- Uh-huh, little golf.

I meant a musical instrument.

No. I never was much good

at that kind of thing.

- Hey, what's in here?

- That's a little parlor.

Well, I better find

a place to sleep.

Come on. Let's try upstairs.

Hey, how many stories

has this place got?

Looks like at least four to me.

I don't know, but I think

we're gonna get plenty lost.

Don't worry,

I'm half St. Bernard.

E-flat.

- Take your pick.

- Well, that one.

Okay.

"Welcome to the twilight zone."

What are these?

- These...

- It's my father.

Yeah. He used these molds

to make rubber masks of himself.

What for? = his act.

He'd have an assistant

wear one of these on stage.

The audience would think it was

the great Duquesne himself.

Then the assistant would

disappear through a trap door.

Two seconds later, the real

Duquesne would be walking

down the aisle from the back

of the theatre.

If your father didn't

scare them to death downstairs

with that skeleton, he probably

finished them off in here.

Ugh.

Look at this.

You remember these?

You could get a heck of

a manicure with that.

Look at all this stuff.

Hey, these swords. They're real.

Sharp too.

Must have been used for one of

those human pincushion tricks.

Mr. Henderson?

Mr. Henderson.

Mr. Henderson?

Where are you?

Hey.

Hey!

You quit playing games

with me now.

Where are you?

Mr. Henderson.

Mr. Henderson?

Mr. Henderson,

will you answer me?

- Mr. Henderson.

- Stick 'em up.

What are you doing

scaring me like that?

I didn't do it on purpose.

I mean, I did it on purpose.

I did this on purpose.

Not that, in there.

I went in this cabinet

out of curiosity.

I pushed a button

and the back of it gave way.

Found myself in another room.

That one.

Really? = yeah.

Oh, you scared me to death.

Didn't feel good about it myself.

It went back like that.

Look at my hands.

They're still shaking.

You scare that easy?

= oh, I don't know.

I've never been through

anything like this before.

My first haunted house.

Except it's not haunted, is it?

Haunted houses have ghosts.

This one just has tricks.

Shall we continue the tour?

You really scared me

to death down there, you.

Well, I have that effect

on a lot of people.

Maybe this is a bedroom.

Ah. Madam, your boudoir.

Oh.

She was very beautiful,

wasn't she?

Still is.

Oh, how strange.

Do you realize this is the closest

I've been to my mother?

Gives me a funny feeling...

Being in her room...

Looking like her,

among her things.

You know, I think this is

gonna sound ridiculous, but...

See, I was just two years old

when she disappeared, but...

I really think

I can remember her.

The way she looked.

The way she smelled,

you know, like soap.

She used to put her hand

on my forehead.

Always really soft.

My aunt Elizabeth

had hands like sandpaper.

Is she the aunt who

raised you in Wisconsin?

Yeah.

Didn't you get along?

My aunt Elizabeth? Oh, yeah.

She was just too old to have

a child in the house, I guess.

Actually, you know,

she was very good.

Very strict but very fair.

Didn't your mother ever try

to contact you all these years?

No.

Why blame her?

Neither did my father.

My aunt Elizabeth

used to talk like this, she'd say,

"good riddance to both of them.

Consider yourself lucky.

Stage folk.

Morally irresponsible.”

etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

When I was a kid, I used to

pretend that my dad

just loved my mother deeply.

And he loved me too.

And he was just around the corner,

just waiting to come to me.

You're an amazing person,

Cassie.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

How come?

Because you have every reason

to be bitter and you're not.

Bitter.

That is just a word

that angry people use

to hide the fact they

wanna be loved. That's all.

By her. By him.

I've wanted that all my life,

too much to hide

behind bitterness.

Your father left you everything.

Left you this house.

He must have loved you.

Then why all the

years of neglect?

Well, I can't answer

that one, Cassie.

Only he could've told you that.

Well, look. I'll go downstairs

and get your suitcases.

You just relax there

for a while.

Okay.

Hey.

Don't bring the smaller one. It's

full of cold roast beef sandwiches.

What?

Do you like cold

roast beef sandwiches?

Yeah. Are you asking

me for dinner?

If you like cold roast beef

sandwiches, I'm asking.

I'm accepting.

Okay.

- What is it?

- This silly thing scared me.

Yeah. Well, he doesn't

seem too pleased to see us.

- Do you feel any better?

- Mm. Sandwich helps.

- You want another one?

- No, thanks. I had plenty.

But my compliments

to a most charming hostess.

Oh, thank you, gallant sir.

Cassie, you know, I don't think

you ought to stay here alone.

I'm not gonna be alone.

Mr. vickers, he's my attorney.

He said he'd arrange for

a housekeeper to stay with me.

She'll be here

sometime tomorrow.

I meant tonight.

Oh, I'll be alright.

I'm just gonna jump into bed

and stay there.

I promise to open no doors,

no closets, no nothing.

I've had enough

practical jokes for one day.

Yeah, I guess you have.

- Val?

- Hm?

Tell me something

about yourself.

All I know about you

is your name.

Val Henderson and you work in

real estate with your uncle.

There's not much to tell really.

I'm just an ordinary guy.

After the gypsies captured me

from the palace

and my wicked twin

took over the throne

nothing much happened.

I was captured by pirates.

Spent some years

as a white hunter in Africa

and then became

an international Jewel thief.

Are you ever serious?

Sure.

Sometimes I get very serious.

Val, I'm awfully tired.

Okay.

- Lemme walk you home.

- Okay.

Only as far as the stairs, now.

Yes.

I think it's a dreadful shame

that you're wasting

your time in real estate

being a Jewel thief and all.

Actually, I lied to you about

that, I'm not in real estate.

- Oh. What do you do?

- Same old thing.

Brain surgery.

Well.

Goodnight.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Goodnight.

What was that? =I don't know.

Val?

Let's go find out.

Shh, shh, shh.

Sounds like a woman

crying, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Where's it coming from?

I don't know. Sounds like

it's coming from everywhere.

It's dying down.

Don't leave me.

Who knows you're here?

I don't know. Vickers, Dolly.

Or Sheridan, maybe.

Hello?

Who is this, please?

It's a man. He's just breathing.

Hello?

Don't hang up.

Who is this, please?

Hello?

I knew it'd be something like this.

That sobbing too.

Hi-fi.

Turn it off!

Cassie, it's a recording.

I don't care.

It's as if the whole house

were breathing.

Listen, um...

I'm not letting

you stay alone tonight.

I'll sleep on that couch.

- You alright?

- Uh-huh.

Look, I think

we can use a night cap too.

Come on, it'll do us both good.

Hey! What are you

doing up there?

Oh, hi.

I found these keys

in the kitchen.

None of them works.

I think the sound we heard

came from in there.

You mean, the sobbing?

= no, no, no. The chains.

I got the sobbing figured out.

= mm.

- Yeah, see that ventilator?

- Yeah?

I went all over the house.

There must be dozens of those.

I think the sound came up

from somewhere down below

up through the ventilation system

and echoed throughout.

But from where down below?

=I don't know.

He probably had another

tape recorder stashed somewhere.

I got a feeling this whole place

is rigged for stereo.

Wish I could find

the key to that door.

- What do you think you'll find?

- Hmm...

Maybe the world's largest collection

of sound effects tapes.

How you feeling? = oh, fine.

Things sure look better

in the morning, right?

- Yeah, let's have breakfast.

- Okay.

- Breakfast?

- Yeah.

While you were asleep,

I drove down on the highway.

Found a store

about five miles down.

How doth the busy little bee.

Not too well. Dropped the eggs.

You like scrambled eggs?

I love scrambled eggs.

=you're on. Come on.

Oh, isn't this charming?

Coffee's hot. Eggs are cold.

Ooh, look at these. = yeah.

I didn't know you could cook.

Thought I closed that.

Huh? Oh, sure, sure.

Why don't you marry me?

Haven't tasted your eggs yet.

Where does this door go?

It goes to the basement.

Went through it this morning.

Dusty. Hey,

let's try the coffee.

Oh... okay.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hm.

- Coffee.

- Just like uptown.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

- Mmm.

- Ah, you like it, huh?

Mmm, it's very bad.

It grows on you.

Now, that sound is real.

- Hey, you expecting someone?

- Yeah, the new housekeeper.

- Come on.

- Oh, yeah. Ah...

Well, come on.

Um, yeah.

- Hey, what's her name?

- Mrs. ryerdon.

Does she know what

kind of job she's taking?

Don't know. Mr. vickers said he

got her from employment office.

I hope she's got

a good sense of humor.

That'll be $15.

Hello there.

Well, how you doing? = fine.

You must be Mrs. ryerdon.

= the name's Ramona.

Ramona.

Well, it's a very romantic name.

Well, don't get any ideas.

You Mrs. Duquesne?

No, ma'am, miss Duquesne.

My friend, val Henderson.

- Hi.

- Not your husband?

- No.

- No, no.

She wouldn't have me.

Doesn't like my cooking.

Oh, I'll get it.

Right that way.

Hm.

Who owns this?

I don't like open cars.

I can't stand them.

Oh, let me get that.

Right there.

Now, I want you to know I don't

cook. Just straight housework.

Light housework is my business.

Yes, I understand perfectly.

That's fine.

Ramona, did Mr. vickers tell

you anything about this house?

Nope. Not a thing. Why?

Something I ought to know?

Oh, nothing special. Just some

things, I'll explain 'em later.

Smells awfully dusty in here.

We'll get someone to do the

heavy cleaning. It won't be bad.

Big houses, they get mighty

drafty and I catch colds easy.

Oh? Well, we were very

comfortable last night.

- Warm as toast. Right, val?

- Yes, yes.

We? That's nice.

She means last evening.

It was just perfect.

- It was a little noisy, maybe.

- Noisy?

Ramona, my father left me this

house and he was a magician.

Sort of a practical joker too,

wasn't he, val?

Yes, yes. Sure was.

So it's possible that

you just might hear things.

Wh-what kind of things?

I don't know exactly.

Some noises, something like that.

Well, it's something that

sounds like a woman crying.

You don't believe in ghosts,

do you, Mrs. ryerdon?

- Val.

- Ghosts?

Uh-huh.

No.

We were having coffee.

Have some before I get you a room.

- Might make me feel better.

- Yeah, right down here.

Uh, Mrs. ryerdon. Would you care

for this last piece of toast?

- Huh?

- Would you care for toast?

No, I don't eat much breakfast.

Ah.

Say, where did you say

that crying came from?

You see that door there? = yeah.

Well, that goes to the basement.

It came from down there,

we think.

Val, stop. Ramona,

I wouldn't worry about it.

I think it's just a practical joke,

a record or something.

Arecord of a woman crying?

= mm-hm.

There ain't no such thing. = no.

- Well, I better get with it.

- Mm.

I wonder where they put the

vacuum cleaners around here.

Gosh, I don't know.

Have another cup of coffee...

Oh, here it is.

Miss. Duquesne.

I put in my eight hours

every working day.

That's what I get paid for, see.

Then I relax on my own time.

Thought I'd help you

later if you want.

You have your coffee.

I'll get up on that front hall.

And I don't need help.

When I do a job, I do it!

Yes, ma'am.

I get the distinct impression

Mrs. ryerdon

isn't ever going down

in that basement.

Me too. I don't care. I feel

better having somebody around.

Oh, thanks a lot.

Where have I been?

Oh, I don't mean that.

I mean, here,

from now on, permanently.

You've been very nice, sir.

Yeah, lots of laughs.

Hey, let me pour you

a cup of coffee.

Alright.

Guess you'll be kinda anxious

to get back to the city, huh?

Oh, no. No, no. I'm in no hurry.

Matter of fact, I've gotten

attached to this old place.

Oh, you have, huh? = mm-hm.

There's something

about it I like.

Hmm.

Did she say the front hall?

= mm-hm.

Oh, my gosh, what if...

She did.

Hmm.

Get the wild animals

out of here.

Oh, ah, get that wild animal

away from me. Lift me.

It's just a trick, Ramona.

Try and relax.

- Oh, this is a crazy house.

- I'm sorry.

I want to get out of here.

You're crazy.

Please, Ramona.

I want to talk for a minute.

I wanna get out

of this crazy house.

- Ramona, please.

- I've gotta get outta here.

Troublemaker.

I guess you'd better hurry

if you're gonna get.

Let me help you, Mrs. ryerdon.

- There we go...

- Please, I'll do it myself.

Yes, ma'am.

Open cars.

I told you I didn't

like open cars.

When I first saw it,

I didn't like it.

Yes, ma'am.

Well.

- You can't win 'em all, huh?

- Yeah, that's right.

Look, let's forget about that

house today. Let's go somewhere.

Alright. Hey,

what about your job?

Oh, I have a very

indulgent uncle.

It's a beautiful day, let's

find some normal everyday people

and have a relaxed afternoon,

what do you say?

Go.

It's two down and one to go.

The lady wins the big prize.

She's got the ball.

She's winding up, and there she goes.

The lady wins a prize.

The safety valve pillow.

Especially designed

for pretty girls

- thank you.

- Oh, that's wonderful.

Keep pitching, pal.

Keep pitching, boy.

Yes, step right up, folks...

You tired?

Oops.

- We must have walked miles.

- Yeah, we did.

What time is it getting to be?

- Like 5:00.

- Hmm.

Maybe we should think about

getting back to the house soon.

We'll stop at the grocery store,

get some groceries.

Because you're invited

for dinner, alright?

Yeah, fine, fine. Great.

Hey.

I've had an awful lot of fun today,

val Henderson. Thanks.

You're welcome. So have I.

- Cassie.

- Hm.

Do yourself a favor.

- What's that?

- Don't go back to that house.

I have to. That's the agreement.

Yeah, I know.

Seven days. Midnight till dawn.

Break the agreement,

no $300,000, dear.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Besides...

A day away from it, it even

becomes kinda funny, doesn't it?

As a matter of fact,

believe it or not, I miss it.

It's my own private amusement park,

that's what it is.

Cassie, you know, you're, uh...

- You're very impressionable...

- Mm.

Yeah, you are,

and you're sensitive and...

I think you're lonelier

than you'll admit.

Well, daddy is gonna show up

any night now and I won't be alone.

He gave you a bad time last night.

It could get worse.

Yeah. Building up

to a tremendous finale.

Ouch.

Ta-da!

Back from the dead!

Yeah, what if he does come back?

You're not gonna go psychic

on me now, are you?

No, but I think if you spend...

You spend too many nights

alone in that house,

it'll start to get to you.

You mean I'm so sensitive

and impressionable

that I'll be seeing things?

Or doing things.

Maybe even dangerous things.

- Like?

- Like, uh...

Like maybe getting

scared out of your wits.

Like running blindly

down that staircase.

Like maybe breaking your neck.

Please, darling. My pretty neck.

- Your exquisite neck.

- Hm, that's better.

So what?

So, if I conjure him up,

what do you think I'm gonna see?

We see what we want

to see, Cassie.

Then there's no problem.

He'll be tall and strong.

Well... he'll be handsome anyway.

And he'll be loving and he'll

be great fun to be around.

I'll tell you what.

Let's forget about shopping.

We'll drive down

the coast highway.

We'll stop at a little spot.

Get a steak, a bottle of wine.

Uh-oh.

= we'll have some soft talk.

- Hm.

- Candlelight.

- What kinda talk?

- Soft.

J adjust that shoulder

like a blowing boat

j I'm never gonna

let my monkey roll &

j go, go, go, go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go, oww j

j go, baby, go, go,

go, go, baby j

j we're on tonight

go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go, go

c'mon, baby, oww j

j scream and shout go, go j

j yeah, feel alright

go, go, go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go, baby, oww j

j go, go, go, go, baby j

j turn my head j

j baby fly j

j all you girls, you went out j

j I'm one guy who never goes out

j adjust that shoulder

like a blowing boat

j I'm never gonna

let my monkey roll &

j go, go, go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go, oww j

j go, baby, go, go,

go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go, baby j

two scotches.

Scotch. Two.

J go, go, go, go, oww j

j c'mon, baby j

j baby fly j

j baby, baby, shout j

j go, go, go, go, baby j

j c'mon, baby go, go, go j

j everything is alright j

j we're gonna rock and roll »

j c'mon, baby j

j oww j

j go, go, go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go, baby... j

what's that you said

about quiet?

What?

- Quiet.

- I can't hear you.

At least this place is alive.

We don't have to talk.

I cannot hear you.

Forget it.

J go, go, go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go, baby j

j c'mon, baby j

j go, go, go, go, baby j

j c'mon, baby j

j go, go, go j

j yeah, yeah j

J c'mon, baby j

come here down j

j everything's alright j

j baby

j I say go, go, go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go j

j c'mon, baby j

j c'mon, baby j j go, go, go j

j oh, yeah j

j go, go, go, go, go, baby /

j go, go, go, baby j

j go, go, go, go, baby j

j go, go, go j

Wait here.

Val?

Dolly bast.

What is it? What happened?

What're you doing here?

What's the matter? What's she doing?

Don't know, but something

really scared her.

What is it, Dolly?

What frightened you?

Well, I saw, I...

You saw what? What did you see?

I, um, your father.

Up there. He was

at the top of the stairs.

He was standing there.

That's impossible.

You stay here.

I saw him. If you'd believed.

If you'd loved him, like I did.

Like I do.

- But I do love him.

- Oh, but you don't need him.

Only I need him.

Only I can't live without him.

Dolly, there's a room at the

top of the stairs. It's locked.

It was always locked.

He was the only one

who ever went in it.

What's in it?

I don't know.

- You know where the key is?

- Yes.

Well, where is it?

Get it for us.

I can't.

It was buried

in his grave with him.

It was his wish.

Come on, let's go downstairs.

I've come here every night since

he died just to be near his things.

- His memory.

- We heard you last night.

You must have loved him a great

deal to cry for him like that.

And yet, in the end,

I failed him.

Even I failed him.

You failed him, how?

He must have known he was dying.

He kept it to himself. He wanted

to spare me the pain of it.

He made me go away

for a week, a vacation.

The next time I saw him

he was dead in his coffin.

He died alone.

I'll never forgive myself that.

He needed somebody around him,

all through the end.

Then why didn't he

ever try to contact me?

You don't know

how lonely it was.

Don't I?

Well, don't you think a thing

like that works both ways?

Why didn't you try to reach him?

Because I didn't think he cared.

Cared? He worshipped you.

He did?

Oh.

Oh, Dolly, if I've made

a mistake all these years...

I've got to know.

Please tell me something.

I don't think I could say

"forgive me" to a memory, but...

But I want to.

Please tell me.

Twenty years ago.

The night your mother went away.

It was the end of the world to him.

He wouldn't believe

she was gone.

Night after night, he'd sit out front

in the music room.

He'd say, "darling,

where's Melinda?

She hasn't played her harp

or sung for me for a week.

Where is she?"

We'd walk all over the house

searching for Melinda.

He had tape recordings of her

singing and playing,

and I'd play one of them

and he'd get easy in his mind

and he could sleep again,

but the next night it would be

the same all over again.

Are you saying Cassie's father

went mad after his wife left?

Grief can drive you mad,

if you love deeply enough.

Your aunt Elizabeth came

and got you, Cassie.

And that's not a scene

I care to remember.

I can imagine that,

poor darling.

Then, three months ago,

he saw your picture in the paper.

With a story of you being

chosen for a club or something.

He said,

"look, Dolly. It's Melinda."

I tried to tell him it was you,

Cassie, but he just kept saying,

"it's Melinda. I've found

my Melinda,” over and over.

And that afternoon,

I typed a long letter to you

begging his Melinda

to come back,

and then I mailed it.

I didn't get the letter.

It was sent back unopened.

Aunt Elizabeth.

Val.

He got worse

after that letter came back.

He'd lost his Melinda

for the second time.

And l... I think

that's when he began to die.

Oh, Dolly, I'm so sorry.

If only I'd known.

He's come back, Cassie.

He's come back.

Cassie, can I talk to you for

just a minute, please? Alone.

- Alone?

- Yeah, it's important.

It'll just take a minute.

Come on.

Get your coat. We're taking

Dolly to that bus station.

What? I was going to

ask her to stay here.

I was afraid you were going

to say something like that.

We're getting her

out of here, Cassie.

- Why?

- 'Cause she's not good for you.

Besides, I think she's putting

on the performance of her life.

Val, that's ridiculous.

Do you believe she saw your

father's ghost on the staircase?

Mm? = no.

Alright, what did she see?

- Well, she saw something.

- What? A shadow? The rabbit?

I don't know.

Maybe it's as you said

at the amusement park, val.

She's a person who sees what she

wants to see and needs to see.

And so are you.

You keep her needling you

and bugging you,

she'll have you seeing

spooks in a few days.

So, I'll be seeing spooks?

You really believe.

You actually want to believe.

That's nonsense and you know it.

Why are you defending her?

= I'm not.

- Cassie, listen to yourself.

- I'm not defending her.

You're angry because

I'm talking you outta something

you want to believe.

But you can't wish

the dead back to life.

Not for all the love

or all the need in the world.

I know that.

Alright.

It just seems like a... simple

act of kindness that I can do

for Dolly for taking

care of my father.

Cassie, I-l don't think

that what Dolly is doing

deserves any act

of kindness from you.

What do you mean?

If you're scared outta this house

before the seven days,

who stands to gain?

- Well, Dolly and Sheridan.

- Dolly and Sheridan.

Now, val, I told you

that was ridiculous.

Now, she saw something on

the stairs. She was terrified.

Cassie, I think she has you

more hooked than you realize.

Don't let her stay around you.

- Val.

- Cassie, please.

Okay. Okay. You win.

Alright, get your coat.

No.

Will you take her please?

I'd like a glass of hot milk

and I'd like to go to bed.

Alright. Well, you sure

you'll be alright?

Yes.

I suppose you think that

Sheridan's up in that

locked room there waiting

to scare me out of my wits, huh?

- Will you hurry back?

- I'll hurry back.

I'll be waiting.

You sure you can

make it back to town?

Yes. I gotta find buzz and tell

him what happened tonight.

Mm-hmm. Where'll you find buzz?

At a place called big Mike's.

It's a bar.

Buzz practically lives there.

I've gotta tell him.

He'll wanna know

that Duquesne came back.

Yeah. I'll bet he'll wanna know.

Duquesne coming back.

Why don't you come off it?

I got a little advice for you.

Well, that

should be interesting.

Don't you think

I don't know who you are?

So don't you be

so smart with me.

Who am 1?

You're... some wise punk

who's just after her money.

That's who you are.

Well, you won't get a dime.

Who'll stop me?

You and Sheridan?

- Duquesne, that's who's...

- Duquesne?

Duquesne's gonna stop you

because he loves his daughter.

It's been

a great performance, Dolly.

Damn you.

Vaudeville's dead.

Nobody's asking for an encore.

You're gonna be sorry.

- Goodnight.

- You're gonna be...

Damn you! Damn you!

Damn you!

I what j

j is this thing j

I called j

j love? J

j this funny thing &

I called love j

j just who can solve j

j its mystery j

j why should it;

I make a fool of me j

J I saw you there j

j one wonderful day

j you took j

j my heart j

j and threw it away j

J that's why I ask the lord... j

- Oh, val.

- Honey, what is it?

Honey, what happened?

- Look.

- What is it?

Look.

Looks real, alright. Real wax.

That's me, that's me.

It's a likeness of your mother.

They must have used it

in some magic act or...

How did it get here?

It was in the box

at the top of the stairs.

The rabbit knocked it

over at me.

Honey, it's alright.

Are you okay?

Oh, val, I feel so funny.

My head is spinning.

It's enough

to drive anyone bats.

Oh, hold me. Please hold me.

I'm here. I'm here.

Look, what you need is to get

some rest. Now you come on.

Come on. Let's go upstairs.

It's okay.

I still don't know what you're

gonna get out of Sheridan.

Well, I don't either,

but it's worth a try.

If Dolly and Sheridan are behind

this, he's not gonna admit it.

Maybe he'll give himself away

by covering up too much.

Anyway, I want to talk to Dolly

again, while she's sober.

You sure you don't

wanna come along?

Nope. I'm going to change my

clothes, putter in the garden,

and then I'm going to lie

in the sun for hours

and hours and hours.

It'll do you good.

- See you later.

- Bye.

Hello, big Mike around?

You're looking at him, mister.

What can I do for you?

Uh... I'm trying to find

buzz Sheridan.

I'll get him for you.

He doesn't like to be

awakened abruptly.

Uh-huh. Thanks.

Buzz.

Buzz!

There's somebody here

to see you.

Hmm? = Mr. Sheridan?

My name is val Henderson.

I'm a friend of Cassie Duquesne.

Oh, yeah.

I know. Dolly told me.

She called me up last night.

Thanks.

She told me the whole bit.

She believes he came back

from the dead to her,

so why spoil it?

Well, I'm trying to help

Cassie Duquesne.

Dolly told me what you suspect.

Um-hmm.

Well, you're wrong, mister.

You're dead wrong.

You can accuse Dolly

of all kinds of things,

but she would never do anything

to harm Duquesne's daughter.

And just in case you

got any ideas about me,

you can forget 'em.

I loved Duke.

Something glowed from him.

A remarkable presence.

Maybe a man like that

never does really die.

His presence

is still all around.

And maybe he can come

back from the dead.

Do you really believe that?

I wish it. Dolly wishes it.

Let's be honest, Mr. Sheridan.

Don't you also wish

that you and Dolly

could make a two-way split

of $300,000?

I don't have to listen to you.

Dolly took care of him

for 20 years.

He didn't leave her a dime.

Now she's no Saint.

Wouldn't she expect something?

So go talk to Dolly.

You know her number,

Mr. Sheridan?

I know her number.

4630799. It's a rooming house.

And you're way off base, mister.

Mike, you should really

delouse this joint.

Miss Duquesne?

What are you doing here?

Who are you?

My name is Joe Russell.

Can I ask you a few questions?

- About what?

- You know miss Dolly bast?

Yes, I do. Is something wrong?

She called us this morning.

Said your father kept his word.

Came back... from

the grave last night.

Now I know who you are.

You're one of the reporters

at the funeral, aren't you?

I wanted to check her story

out with you before we...

- Cassie.

- Over here, val.

- I'll only take a few minutes.

- I'm very sorry.

- It'll only take a second.

- Whose car is that out...

Hey, val. Well,

what do you know?

No wonder you wouldn't

give me the story.

Boy, do you move fast.

- You know each other?

- Well, I...

Sure. We worked together

on the daily exchange.

That's my paper, before he

moved over to the journal.

We've known

each other for four...

- Cassie!

- Did I do something wrong?

Cassie.

Cassie, wait a minute.

Come on, honey. Wait. = no.

Lemme talk to him.

= you lied to me.

- If you knew I'm a reporter...

- No, don't.

Just a minute.

You wouldn't let me near you.

Now I started out for a story,

I admit. That's all changed now.

You don't have to explain

anything to me. Just go.

It's a hell of a time to tell you

but I'm in love with you.

If you have any decency, val,

please go. I've asked you to go.

Come off it now, Cassie.

What's so terrible about...

I want you to go write

your newspaper story

about this

silly heiress you fooled

into letting you stay

in the magician's house.

And into falling in love.

Yeah.

And into...

Cassie.

Cassie! Now open the door!

Very sorry, val,

but how was I to know?

Yeah, yeah.

Cassie, now open the door!

Cassie!

Cassie.

Cassie, open the door.

I want to explain.

I want you to understand.

Cassie!

Vall

vall

Operator?

Operator!

Operator, get me the number

of a val Henderson, please.

Henderson.

I don't know.

In Los Angeles some place.

Please hurry. Please.

Oh, please be home val, please.

Hello.

Oh, val, thank god

you're there. I need you.

Cassie, what's the matter?

The room upstairs, the one

that was always locked.

There's a box in there...

With a body.

A body of a woman with no head.

Please, it was horrible.

Get hold of yourself.

It can't be real.

It must be one of his props.

I don't care! I don't care.

Please get me out of here.

Wait a minute. Listen to me.

Lock the door, don't

let anyone in. Alright?

Now, Cassie, get

a hold of yourself.

Please hurry. Please.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

No! No! No!

- Don't touch me!

- Don't be frightened, please.

You're alive.

You're not a ghost.

You're alive.

You faked that whole thing.

Your death, your funeral.

Why?

You wouldn't come back to me.

But-but I would have come

if I'd known you wanted me to.

You returned my letter.

Years of waiting,

and then when I found you,

you refused me.

No, I didn't get the letter.

Believe me, if I'd

gotten the letter

I would have come to you.

You would have?

I didn't think you wanted me.

If you only knew

how I hoped and prayed for this.

I wanted you to want me.

To love me.

But I always loved you, Melinda.

Melinda.

No.

Melinda.

Duke?

It's you. It's really you.

Melinda's come back, Dolly.

She's come back.

Oh, no.

No, that's not Melinda. That's

Cassie. Your daughter, Cassie.

No, I know you've been jealous

of Melinda all these years,

but you can't lie anymore, Dolly.

She's come back.

Daddy, I'm not Melinda.

= Melinda's dead.

No. No.

Yes. Yes, she's gone.

She died that night, Duke.

I brought her here myself.

I buried her in the woods

behind the house.

No, that's not true.

That's not true, Dolly. Melinda...

Melinda's here.

Dolly?

How did my mother die?

The trick, the guillotine.

Something went wrong.

I know it will

work now, Melinda.

I know it'll work.

= don't touch her.

- Melinda.

- No, don't take me.

Cassie, run! Cassie, run!

No. No, Duke.

Duke, you mustn't

do this thing. Don't.

No, she's not Melinda.

Duke, she's Cassie.

Listen to me, Duke.

You can't do this.

= get outta here!

Operator.

Operator, get me the police.

You see, Melinda?

I saved it.

Saved everything

all through the years.

Dolly, what are you

doing out here?

Duquesne... he's back.

- He didn't die.

- What?

It was another one of his

illusions to get Cassie here.

Where's Cassie?

= she's with him.

He thinks it's Melinda.

He's gonna use the guillotine again.

The guillotine?

That's how Melinda

died that night.

He never would accept that.

He never believed she was dead.

Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Behold one of the most tragic

and maligned figures

in... in all the...

The annals of recorded history.

The beauteous Marie antoinette.

Doomed by the... by the...

By the...

Bestial malevolence

of the revolutionary mob

to end her glorious life

upon this... this cruel instrument

of bloody torture.

La belle dame sans merci.

And why did she have to die?

For allegedly having remarked,

upon being informed

that the poor had no bread,

"why then, let them eat cake.”

Now I ask you,

ladies and gentlemen.

Is that a statement

showing heartlessness,

or... or merely a warm, generous

and delightful humor?

No, no.

Kindly take your seat.

Dolly, don't you understand?

Usher the gentleman to his seat.

I'm glad you came, sir.

And now, before your very eyes,

you're about to see

the ghastliest, cruelest,

most sickening act of legal vengeance

ever enacted

upon a beautiful woman.

The actual beheading of...

Of...

Of Marie antoinette.

It is October the 16th,

the year of our lord 1793.

The hour, 15 minutes

past the stroke of noon.

Oh, if you're squeamish, sir,

close your eyes.

If you're faint of heart,

turn aside.

Oh-oh, better still, perhaps

you should leave the auditorium.

Mr. Duquesne.

Ah... um...

The follow spot.

The follow spot, Mr. Duquesne,

it's not working.

The audience can't see you.

Oh, my god.

Cassie?

Cassie, Cassie.

I was so afraid.

Cassie, it's alright now.

- Cassie, I thought that the...

- I was so afraid.

It's alright. Now you're safe.

It's okay now. It's all over.

Oh, val...

- Oh, look at my father.

- It's alright now.

Come on, let me get

you out of this thing.

See, Melinda? I made it work.

I made it work.

Oh, daddy, please don't cry.

- What's going on?

- Upstairs.

Come on, Dave.

Two on a Guillotine (1965) - full transcript