Two Moon Junction (1988) - full transcript

April has just graduated from an exclusive Southern college. She's just returned home to her family mansion to prepare for her semi-arranged marriage to "the right man", a man approved by April's father, a Senator. During a trip to the local fair, April meets Perry, the kind of man she always wanted but never knew. Her parents are aghast, as Perry is exactly the kind of man they don't want her associating with. April must reconcile the expectations of her family and her fiancée with the passion she feels for Perry.

The tradition of our sisterhood
at Phi Gamma Kappa

goes back to the days
when cotton was king.

And just as it has been
for generation after generation,

the friendships you have
so lovingly cultivated and nourished here

will remain amongst the most
treasured possessions of your lives.

Through times of happiness
and times of sadness,

good fortune and tribulation,

you will always remember
this time together.

You are at a crossroads,
a junction in your lives.

May the road you travel speed you
towards your dreams and goals

with no sudden curves or detours
to divert you from your path.

For those of you who are graduating,
this is your farewell ball.

Congratulations, girls!

And God bless you!

Now, ladies and gentlemen,
I have the pleasure of presenting

the queen of the Phi Gamma Kappa
spring ball, Miss April Delongpre.

President of our brother fraternity
Alpha Lambda Chi.

The next time we all will be dancing
together will be at their wedding.

This is a dream
come true for me, baby.

From the moment I first laid my eyes on
you I knew that one day you'd be my wife.

And this is just the beginning.

I've got it all planned out.

What I want is to make you happy.

What I want is to give you
everything your little heart desires.

What I want is to run away to a tropical
island somewhere and live in a grass hut.

Eat coconuts for the rest of our lives?
- Coconuts and mangoes and papayas.

Don't do this to me.
You're driving me nuts.

That's the idea, Chad.


We got a present for you.

Come on.

Your hair!
- It's beautiful. Hello, darling.

Your hair looks great.
- Outrageous.

What are you girls up to?

It's for your wedding night.
- We can't wait.

Frederick's of Hollywood?
What do my little sisters think I am?

Good Lord, look out!

Hey, what are you doing?

OK, that does it. OK.

You're in for it now.
I'm going to get you.

Get off my sister!

That's a hell of a shot, son.

If your dad and I weren't keen on you bein'
a lawyer, I'd sponsor you on the Pro Tour.

Senator, I like things to work.
I like 'em nice and neat.

One of these days you'll hook a shot
and get stuck in the rough.

That's gonna give you character.
I mean that with all best intentions.

["Who Do You Love?" by George Thorogood]

Come on, April. One more time.

Please, we really should go home.

Just one more time. It's so much fun.

I'll get 'em off for you.
I used to be an elephant tamer.

Kyle, leave 'em be.
This one's on the house.

How about you, princess?
Wanna take a spin?

I'm not a princess.
- I knew a real one once.

She was from the Sudan.
Her daddy was king for a day.

You better do what he says.

If you don't,
he'll hold your kinfolk hostage.

I'd really rather not.
- Come on, April, one more time.

You'll love it.

I've known a May and a June,
but never an April.

I wish I could persuade you
to get on that ride.

Wipe the seat off for the princess.
It'll make her feel better.

If not for him, then for me.

My blood pressure's high,
my days are numbered,

there's only so much more
a man my age can take.

Come on, we're going home now.

Could you please let them out?
- Cut 'em loose, Speed.

You tried hard,
but you can't win 'em all.

Round one goes to the princess.

He must like you, girls.
He usually doesn't back down so easy.

Is there a Miss Delongpre in the crowd?


Darling, I'm talkin' to you.
I found this on the ground.

Thank you.
- How do I know who you are, princess?

How do I know you're
the real April Delongpre?

And who's this good-looking devil?
Your husband?

Not yet.
- Two more weeks.

Choo-Choo. What kind of name is that?

His real name's Chad.
She just calls him Choo-Choo.

May I have my wallet back, please?
- You bet, April. Anything you say.

Hey, Choo-Choo.
I wanna wish you the best.

You say hello to your mommy
and daddy for me.

Tell your daddy I'm looking forward to
a special dance with him at the wedding.

Come on, let's go for a ride.
Get a motel room.

Whaddya say?

We'll have the rest of our lives
to be together.

You drive me crazy. You do.

I'm never sure about ya.
I never know what you want.

- It won't be long now, sugar.

- Mrs Chad Douglas Fairchild.

Ready for the wedding?

Chad, you drive me crazy.

Does your mama know
where you are? Huh?

Can anybody identify you?
- Her name's Kay.

How well do you know her?
- Since kindergarten.

What's she got on her mind?
Why are you following me?

What you got down there?
How's it doin'? Wanna come with me?

Which one of you girls
wanna come with me?

You better use it while you got it,
cos it won't last forever.

Smiley, Buck, you cheap sons of bitches.

One day this carnival
will come down around you,

if you don't start puttin'
some money back into it.

You gotta spend money to make money.
- Fuck you, Perry.

That's good, Smiley.
"Fuck you" covers just about everything.

I paid for that beer.
- Don't be so goddamned stingy.

What goes around comes around.
The more you give, the more you get.

Reality's all in how you perceive it.
Isn't that right?

Everything you say is right, Perry.

If you ain't the most beautiful old bastard
I ever seen, I don't know who is.

I love you. You got it all, kid.

You're an angel, a saint,
a cowboy, an Indian.

You're the devil sent here
to keep us all honest.

Are you in or are you out?

He's in. Definitely in.

You talk too much.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

I know you love me.
I love you, too.

Yeah, yeah.

If you didn't bite everybody, I wouldn't
have to keep you cooped up in here.

And you're so fucking tough.

Good-looking and so tough.

Remember me?

The man who returned your wallet?

Aren't you gonna talk to me?

You know the first thing
I thought when I saw you here?

I really did think that -
no, hope's a better word for it -

that you were out here lookin' for me.

Are you?

I couldn't sleep.

I know you've got a lotta things
on your mind right now

with the wedding comin' up,

and everything.


I can understand that.


I'll be saying good night.

Good night.

Let's go, young 'uns.

You sure you don't want to come along?

I'd rather not, Dad. I have so much
to do yet before the wedding.

You take it easy.
- Maybe I'll take a swim at the club.

That's a good idea. Bye.

If Jessie calls,
give him our number at the lake.

Don't worry.
Have a good time.

- Bye. Be good.

Bye, April.

We'll be going now.
- Thanks, Jimmy.

Looking forward to the big day. Those
gardenias I planted are for your bouquet.

They're lovely.
Take some home for yourself.

Thank you, Miss April. Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.

I want you to get out of my house.

Do you hear me?
- Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to inconvenience you.
I just needed a hot shower.

This sure is nice-smellin' soap.
- I'm warning you.

No wonder women smell so good.
What is it? Essence of lilac?

I want you to leave immediately
or I'll call the police.

I don't think you will. Our meeting
last night clued me into you.

Is this extra dry?
My hair's awful sensitive.

I don't care about your hair.
Just get your dog and go!

How can I do that, when it says,

"Wait three minutes after conditioning
or your hair will be unmanageable"?

If you've got any ideas about going near
that phone, I might walk out on the lawn.

Naked. Bare-ass naked.
You wouldn't want that, would you?

It's a beautiful day. Isn't it?

You had your chance,
but you didn't run away, did you?

No, I didn't.

And you didn't call the police either.

No, I didn't.

Why not, do you suppose?

I hope you don't mind, but
I helped myself to a bottle of champagne.

I try not to drink during the day,
but, this bein' a special occasion,

I figured what the hell?

You frighten me.

I understand. I'm sorry I had to
come into your house like this,

but since I'm only gonna be in town a day
or so that doesn't give us much time.

And... I knew you wouldn't mind.

Let's go over there,

sit on the couch.

And get to know one another.

You're the cockiest
son of a bitch I've ever met.

I'm not really.

I just like to hear myself talk.

And I like beautiful things.

And a woman like you
comes along only once in a lifetime.

- I swear.

When I leave...

I'd like you to give me
a bottle of your perfume.

And as I'm driving from town to town,

I'll put a little on my hand,

right there,

I'll bring it up to my nose and
every time I smell it I'll remember you

and how beautiful you are.

You got a mole on your shoulder.

Looks like a little kiss.

Help me if you don't have beautiful skin.

You smell so good.

I can't keep my hands off of you.
I was gonna come and just have a shower

and a nice, hot cup of coffee, but...

you excite me so much
I can't help myself.

Nothing like this has ever
happened to me before.


There it is.

I went to a store in the Mojave,
out in California.

A man there taught me
how to use one of these.

Thought for sure I was gonna buy one.

Told me he shot a video
of his wife playin' with herself.

Can you imagine that? A total stranger
tellin' me something like that?

Look, there you are on TV.

How about a little smile?

You don't feel like smiling?

I can understand that.

But, April, darlin',...

I didn't just show up here by mistake.
You invited me.

You might not know it, but you did.

It's all right there in your eyes.

April? It's me, baby.

I just spoke to
the real-estate agent in Tuscaloosa.

The condo's ours. Congratulations.

I'm gonna stay a few more days to make
sure everything's perfect when we arrive.

I love you, baby. Big kiss.


April, honey.

Let me look at you.

You'll be the prettiest bride since
your grandma walked down that staircase

on her daddy's arms.

We got that photograph of you
and that handsome beau of yours

just dancing away at the sorority ball.

Wait a minute.
Belle, got a surprise for you.

Look who come to visit.
- I can see.

April, honey, how wonderful of you
to come out all this way just to see us.

Are those flowers for me?
Do I smell freesias? My favourite.

I picked them fresh on the way over.

How thoughtful of you.
- I watched you drive in.

I see your daddy bought you
a new car for graduation.

It's for graduation andthe wedding.
Chad's parents bought him a red one.

I can still see that Lincoln convertible

that Belle's daddy bought
for her graduation.

It was white, and it had
the softest tan-leather upholstery

you ever laid your eyes on.

April, you turned out
to be a beautiful young woman.

Belle and I are so proud of you.

Thank you.

Come here and tell me, child.
Have you tamed Chad yet?

And don't you do it, either.
Just keep him wild as long as you can.

You're incorrigible, Grandma.

Don't you Grandma me, April.

You know very well
what I'm talking about.

I've been watching you at parties and
with boys ever since you were a little girl,

and I might say you come by it naturally.

I know I seem so sure of myself.

But sometimes...

I get this feeling inside, Belle,

and I'm so scared.

I really find that hard to believe, April.

When I was your age,
I was expecting a baby.

That was the year my father died
and everytrhing fell on my shoulders.

And your grandfather, rest his soul,

he wasn't much help to me.

But he was the most handsome
and virile man in the county.

And every woman that set
her eyes on him wanted him.

So I disciplined myself
to play the cards that life dealt me.

And you never had second thoughts?

Second thoughts are a luxury I've never
afforded myself. And neither should you.

It's just everything's moving so fast.

I feel that I haven't had
enough time for me.

Delilah, if my mom or anyone else calls,
could you tell them I'm here,

but that I'm out taking a walk?
I just don't feel like goin' home just yet.


I don't know if your father told you,

but I'm arranging for you
to have this house after I'm gone.

This house and the property
from here to Two Moon Junction.

I don't know what to say.

Well, there'll be a trust to take care
of the taxes and general maintenance.

All I need you to do is to make sure
that when your time comes,

you see that it stays in the family.

Can you do that for me, April?

Of course.

And I also wanna say how proud I am that
you've chosen to wear my wedding dress.

You deserve it, honey.

You deserve it.

Earl? It's Belle.

Belle, how are you, sugar?

I'd like you to do
a little somethin' for me.

No problem. I'll keep an eye on her.

Remember, save me
a dance at that weddin'.

Excuse me.

You from Welcome Wagon?

I'm looking for the other man.
- What other man?

I'm the only man. The last one left.
The rest are gone.

If I find me a good woman, I'm goin', too.

The other man. Perry.
D'you know where he is?

Him. Do you know he got run over
by a train, lost both his legs?

He died this morning.


["Never Tell No Lies" by Billy Bizeau]

Any liquor in your purse?


You got some money.
Go get me some.

Go with her.

Bourbon. Get me some bourbon.

Go on.

Don't pay any attention to him.
He's just drunk.

Maybe she's right.

Maybe I should come back
when you're feeling better.


Get me some bourbon.

You fucking asshole.

What the hell am I doing here?

He does have a certain charm
about him when he's not like this.

What are you gonna do? Let's just
go get the son of a bitch some liquor.

Come on, keep me company.

Come on, Tom, get in the back.
Ever been in one of these before?

No, never.
- You're gonna like it. It's a little bumpy.

I can't stand them when they get drunk.

You never want to mess with them
when they get that way.

You just gotta ride it out.

But if they ain't drunk, they're dull.

I'm glad you came along.
He was driving me crazy.

Got a cigarette?
I left mine in my purse.

I don't smoke.
- Fuck you, dickhead!

I wish I had your discipline. I tried to quit
once and I thought "I'll die soon anyway."

What'd you say your name was? April?
- Yes!

I knew it. You're the one
that's about to be married.

Perry told me all about you when we met.
I'm Patti Jean. Hang on.

Did that son of a bitch make you take
an AIDS test before he fucked you?

I didn't think so. He said it wasn't
cos he was afraid of dying.

He just didn't wanna spread
the disease indiscriminately.

I think he just didn't wanna die
having people think he was gay.

He's pretty enough
to give that impression.

Kind of humiliated me.
Wanna talk about humiliating?

I know a girl who flies with Savannah

and she said
when people die on aeroplanes,

they lock 'em
in the fuckin' bathroom until they land.

Now I ask you, if that ain't
the ultimate humiliation, what is?

Ending up your life on a toilet seat
35,000 feet in the air. Shit.

Hang on.

We're here.

Shit. Hey!

What kind o' liquor did he say he wanted?

Bourbon, right.
Hey, you got a bathroom?

I'm gonna pee in my fuckin' pants. Get
the liquor. I gotta go to the bathroom bad!

Now you know my secret.
I put a little rouge on it.

Makes it easier to see through my blouse.

It's a real '60s thing to do, but it's cute.

Boys'd howl when I wore
angora sweaters in junior high.

I love angora. You ever put
yours in the refrigerator?

- Makes it real fuzzy.

I bet you got great tits. I can tell.

But you shouldn't be ashamed of 'em.
- I'm not.

And your hair'd look sexier
if you'd wet it and slick it back.

I'm a hairdresser - I know what I'm
talking about. I do 30 makeovers a week.

And that top would look so much better
if you weren't wearing a bra.

Wanna let me try it on?
- What?

I'll shut the door.

Come on, let me try it on.
- OK.

That's nice. Wanna try mine?

I designed it myself.
It'll look so cute on you.

You've got the perfect figure for it.

Come on, don't be shy.
Just put it on and say goodbye princess.

Sorry. I know it would look good on you.
I'm not gonna take no for an answer.

Come on. Perry'll love it.

Looks good, doesn't it?

Let's see.

It's at moments like this I can see
why guys like women so much.

And this damn bull, it kept
working around in the undergrowth.

- Holy shit!

Damn it! I can't...
Speed, where the hell are you?

Hey, Rube! Someone's gonna die!

You all right?

See that?
Those kids could have been killed!

People put their lives in your hands.
You've got a responsibility to them.

Fuck you!
- Fuck you.

Everytrhing is "Fuck you".
Everything boils down to fuckin' money.

Money. You want money? Here, take it.
- Money! That's what I like.

Stand back.

What you got there, Buck? Got a gun?

Go get 'em, Perry. Take the whole
French foreign legion to take my Perry.

I gotta tell you - he got me so hot the first
time. I thought I'd go through the ceiling.

Even better than my second husband,
and he was from Pittsburgh.

Come on, boy!

Holy shit.

Hang on.








Get back! Get back!

Stand back!

Easy, man. Take it easy.

Get off him!
- Yeah, let him alone.

I'm gonna...

Get your fucking dog and
your fucking girls and get outta here.


Want some?

The lady's got a secret.

Don't you?

I ain't got no secret.

I ain't got nothin', except a bike,

a truck, and a post-office box
in Clearwater, Florida.

So, what colour's your living room?
- White.

But it's not my house. It's my parents'.
- Is your bedroom white, too?

It's beige and floral print.

My place is wood panel.
I never lived in anything else but.

Except when I lived in Vegas.
I was married to this guy in the Air Force.

And they put us up in this place.
It was great. A prefab with a balcony.

You wanna dance?
- No.

Come on, we're here. Let's have fun.

This is my favourite song.
And you're gonna dance with me now.

["Trance" by Loria Jonzun]

Go to him.

Ask him to take you for a ride on his bike.

Nothing but the sound of the engine

and the clouds in the sky.

Don't worry about me.

I'm takin' a bus outta here in the morning.

I don't know where I'm goin',

but I can't wait to get there.

- Delilah? It's me, April.

April, honey?
- Did my mom or anyone else call for me?

Why, nobody.
- If they do,

could you tell them
I'm on my way home?

Of course.
- Thanks.


Where are you from?
- Puerto Rico.

Is that your sister?

No, no.
- Cousin?

No, es amiga.
- Amiga.

Can you ask your friend why
she's not wearing any underwear?

She washed them last night. They're
not dry enough to wear this morning.

She only got one pair?

Parece que si.

You son of a bitch.

Bed's barely cold,
you're trying to get someone else in it?

What the hell. As long as the room's paid
for, I might as well get my money's worth.

You hollow, manipulative piece of shit.
Everything you are is between your legs.

Then why don't you come over here
and give me a kiss good mornin'?

I don't know what the hell I'm doing here.
- It's called lust, baby.

Yep, there's no mistaking it.

What's happened to April is
she's come face to face with her libido.

Fuck you. I don't have to take this shit.

I bet you didn't think I knew
what that word meant!

Libido! Unchecked desire.

Who do you think you are?
You come to my house...

It's not your house. It's your mommy
and daddy's house. And you invited me.

I don't recall giving you my address!

You came cos you wanted to come.
- You can believe anything you want.

You're so far gone there's no hope.
You're psychotic.

You know what that means?
Fundamental mental derangement.

You are beyond social redemption.
- Better than being hysterical.

You lose, mister. You're all alone.

You don't care about anybody
and nobody gives a shit about you.

That's right, baby.
I'm the phantom of the night.

- Princess.

- Sweet pea.

Cocksucker. Scumbag.

- Pig shit.

- Scumbag.

You already said that.

You bastard.
- Better be careful what you say.

People might think we like each other.

You can rot in hell for all I care.

I'm sorry for the disturbance, folks.

But you got to admit,
that's one special wacko chick.

I'm gonna buy you breakfast, asshole.

You know, I have a grandmother

that I'm sure was about
the hottest thing on the planet.

There was a time,
every Saturday night,

and they'd dress up
in tuxedos and gowns

and go down to our pavilion at
Two Moon Junction and dance all night.

Two Moon Junction?
- Yeah.

That's my favourite place in all the world.

My great-great-granddaddy
was a pirate, you know.

- Really.

Yeah, he and Lafitte and some others
got very pissed off at the slave traders

and started raiding their ships and setting
all the slaves free in South America.

My grandmother says they had a dream of
America being the last bastion of freedom.

But then they realised the problem was
too big and they could do nothing about it,

so they settled on the land
and raised cotton.

And put the slaves to work
on the plantation.

My grandmother says he did it
because he came to understand

there would never be heaven on earth.

There's always going to be corruption.
Nothing was ever going to be perfect.

What you mean to say is there was more
money in cotton than in being a hero.

Somethin' like that.
- You're gonna make a hell of a lawyer.

I expect to live a double life.

Maybe even a triple one if I get lucky.

And here I thought you were
just another tight-ass princess.

You look like a princess.
You talk like a princess.

And you definitely have a tight ass.


Don't ever take
this southern woman for granted.

Excuse me, son. Is that your rig
parked over there at Malcolm's place?

There they be, son.

Jonah and Jonah Junior.

They're so old they can't remember
who's pappy and who's son.

They're weird and full of superstition.

Burying a dead animal on their land
could cause the cows to give bloody milk,

or bring on a swarm o' locusts.

Jonah, Jonah Junior,

I told this boy if he'd dig up his animal,

I might be able to persuade you
to drop the charges against him.

You see, it was dark and he wanted
a nice place to put his animal to rest.

He didn't know he was
trespassing and he's sorry.

Do yourself a favour, son.

I loved my dog.

The song they're singing goes way back.
It's a kind of prayer.

So, where'd you say
you were hailed from, son?

The east.

Anywhere near
Cambridge, Massachusetts?

No, sir.

My grandson's going up there
this fall, to Harvard Law School.

I wish him luck.

We're talking about $32,000 a year tuition,
room and board.

But it ain't gonna cost me a penny,
no, sirree, because, thank the Lord,

we got people round here who recognise
and support outstanding achievement.

You know who Little Richard is, don't ya?


I remember he used to ride around here
in his Cadillac always raisin' billy hell.

Got so bad, the judge had to throw
his black ass out of the county

and told him never to come back.

What I'm trying to say, son,
is that not much goes on in this county

that I don't know about.


Did you get your manicure?

It's perfect.

You look absolutely beautiful.

You have done a wonderful job
on the dresses. Thank you so much.

They look great.

You know, Alice in Wonderland
has always been my favourite story.

I always dreamed of having
a storybook wedding, and now I am.

Shoes and hats.

It's perfect.

Wow. Pretty exciting, isn't it?

I just love these dresses.
They make us all look so good.

Makes your tits look bigger this way.

I'm planning on using these
kind of dresses for my wedding.

If I ever get married,
which I probably won't.

But if I do, these types
of dresses would be nice.

You're welcome to it.
I won't be needing it after tomorrow.

Besides, next time I get married,
I'm gonna run off to Las Vegas.

April, bite your tongue!

Carolee, honey,
could you give us a moment alone?

This is gonna be a wonderful weddin'.
I can't wait.

Honey, there's so little time.

And I thought... well, I thought since
you and Chad are still going to school,

you're not countin' on
havin' a family right away.

So I took the liberty of putting together
this little... care package for you.

I don't know. There's a lot of things here.

There's so much and
I don't know what you would use.

But, what do you think?

Honey, I know that you know.

You never really talked.

April. I'm happy.

Sorry, Mrs Delongpre,
but, April, you have to see this. Come on.

# You are so beautiful to me

# Can't you see?

# Everything I dreamed of

# You're everything I want, baby

Mm-mm. He's one
gorgeous hunk of a man.

# Can't you see?

Isn't he the one at the carnival?
The one that found your wallet?

Till tomorrow, April.

I don't recall.


Thank you.

What's goin' on here?
- I have no idea.

Good afternoon, Belle.
- Good morning.


Hi, Grandma.
- You beautiful girls.

You're getting more beautiful
every time I see you.

Aren't they turning into
lovely young ladies?

Yes, they certainly are.

Is that any way for the future
Mrs Chad Douglas Fairchild

to be dressed
the day before her wedding?

We've been having fittings all day.
- You poor thing.

What is that monstrosity?
- It's a tent, Belle.

I can see that.

Whatever does your mother
have in mind?

It's for the buffet.
- It looks more like a circus to me.

Girls, would you take these cold drinks
out to those hardworking boys out there?

You look beautiful, Belle.
- Thank you, dear.

What about me?
- That goes without saying, Delilah.

It's him. I told you it was him.
- It is him. It is him.

He said we were the cutest girls
he'd seen all month.

He's really gorgeous.

It used to be that I knew the Christian
name of every day worker in the county.

Nowadays you just open the Yellow Pages
and take your chances with the riffraff.

Delilah and I are contemplating
carrying pistols in our pocketbooks.

Ain't that the truth?

Not only is that tent an eyesore,
it's a potential hazard. Young man!

Young man, can't you do
something about those guy lines?

Somebody's bound to trip on that
and break their neck.

I think this will solve
your problem, ma'am.

By the way,
that's a beautiful outfit you're wearing.

The finest of silk pongee,
the likes of which I haven't seen

since Mademoiselle ran that layout
on Princess Di's trousseau.

You're pushing your luck, aren't you?
- I'm just tryin' to earn a livin'.

Minimum wage. $3.35 an hour.

It's not much, but I can make it work.

You know, there's a line...
- Of course. That's what holds up the tent.

That's not the line I'm referring to.

The line I'm talking about is the line
between good manners and bad manners,

order and chaos. Cross that line...

If you're talkin' about the state line,
princess, I've already seen it.

They're place settings for 36, April,
taken from the court of King George

and handed down from eldest daughter
to eldest daughter, every other generation,

from the time our forefathers
decided to legitimise themselves,

and join the civilised society.

Since that time, the Delongpre family can
claim three governors, two US senators,

three electives of
the House of Representatives,

a Supreme Court justice,

and an ambassador to Chile.

And at our table we've had
the likes of General Patton,

President Woodrow Wilson,
Jimmy Carter,

Lyndon Johnson, the actress,
Tallulah Bankhead, and Truman Capote

and that film star, Grace Kelly,
before she married her prince.

And Betty Ford, after her rehabilitation.

Come election time, where do our Yankee
brothers come a-courtin' but here?

For where the south goes,
so goes the presidency.

And why is that?

Cos we here in the south
take care of our own.

Always have, always will.



Perry, come out. I don't have much time.

I said to myself "If she comes here
wearing high-heeled shoes,

then she's come
cos she wanted to come."

There's almost $5,000 here.
Please take it and go away.

He showed good taste there.

I bet his friends
are giving him a stag party tonight.

If you don't want the money,
give it to charity.

Keep your money.

How come you aren't wearing
any panties, April, darling?

What kind of a way is that to come see
somebody you don't wanna see?

I know. Don't tell me.

You washed them out before
you went to bed and they're not dry yet.

You're a real son of a bitch.

At first you excited me.

Now you repulse me.
You've got no mystery.

Everytrhing you are...
- Is between my legs.

It's crazy.

I've run a million miles
and who should I fall in love with?

The very girl I was running away from.

You're lying.

You lie about everything.

Am I?

Come here.

I wanna show you something.

To the merging of two
great southern families.

Good luck to you, Chad.
May God bless you.

Hear! Hear!
- I'll drink to that.

His name's Max.

I was gonna call him Tom II,
but I figured he needed his own identity.

He's beautiful.

I wanted to give you one
for your wedding,

but then I figured it would be
kinda hard for you to explain.

My cousins and I used to come here
all the time when we were kids.

It was our place.

We did everything together.

In the summer we used to sneak around at
night and watch our parents making love.

Then we'd come in here,
strip down and touch each other all over.

One night, after a party,

they both got crazy drunk,

took their father's Lincoln Continental
and crashed it into a telephone pole.

Timothy, the one who was driving, lived.

But Charles died.

Two months later, Timmy put a gun to
his head and shot himself out of despair.

You remind me of them.

We used to play this game,
my cousins and I.

They'd blindfold me,

and I'd try to guess which
one of them I was with.

I'm not your cousins.

What cousins?

What do you want?

What time's your wedding?




I'll wait around till then.

See what happens.

Everybody, they're here! Come on,
they're here! Come on, they're here.


Come on, big fella.
Looks like she's not coming.

Come on, kiddo. We're on.

Darlin', is something wrong?

What's the matter?
- I need a minute.

Sugar, are you all right?
- Yes. No.

Belle, I think you should go back
and see what's happening.

Good God.

Darling, you look so beautiful.
We're so proud of you.

Belle, I don't know if I can do this.

But we love you,
and we only want what's best for you.

What's goin' on?
- You may be about to get some character.

She's got cold feet?
- No. Just a little holdup. I'll handle it.

If y'all just hold on a minute,
the bride's got a wrinkle in her dress.

You know how these things are.
Now, don't anybody go away.

I won't let you throw your life away
on a passing fancy.

Passion fades. Believe me, I know.

What are you talking about?

I was afraid this would happen.

He will never interfere with your life again.

Belle, what did you do?


He asked me for money.
I gave it to him.

That's not true.

He would never take money.

Everyone has his price.
- Not him.

April, my beautiful, courageous child,

have I ever lied to you?


["Dig" by Screamin' Jay Hawkins]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to inconvenience you.

It's just that I was in the neighbourhood
and I needed a nice, hot shower.

Sure is nice-smellin' soap.

["Man with a Gun" by Jerry Harrison]