To Russia with Love (2022) - full transcript

--== McEphie ==--

Smells good.

I'm going.

Can I?

I'm off.

Whatever challenges life throws us,

we will face all of them together.

I didn't expect
that I would find a partner in life.

This is just the beginning of our journey.

I love you very much.

And I love you very much.



Mercado family! Let's take pictures.111

All right, take your positions.

Come here, hurry.

Come on over, kids.

Bro, watch out.

Keep going.

Who's going to win?

And the winner is…

Good job!

All right, Dennis.
Put on the garter. Does it fit?

There we go.

May I? Okay?

That girl was cute.

Ask her out.



Oh, boy. Should I take just anybody, Mom?

If you don't get a move on,
I'll settle down before you do.

Tell you what, Mom.

Let's put off expanding
our tablea business, then.

What do you think?

Business always gets in the way
of one's love life, doesn't it?

Mom, I'm happy. I promise.

Of course.

I didn't mean it that way.

Come on, dance with me.

Yeah, all right, Mom.

-I'll join you later.
-Come on!

In a bit.

I got a flat tire. I gotta get it fixed.

Will it take long, bro?
Just call Mom so she knows.

Are you all there?

-Yeah.
-Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can.

Excuse me, sir,
can you hold my bag, please?

Okay. Thank you, sir.

-And then…
-You speak Tagalog?

-Only a little.
-A little.

Katya, I'm finally here!

I did it.

Son!

Mom.

Mom, this is Oksana.

My partner in the group.

She's from Russia.

-Hello, ma'am.
-Hi.

Hey. Cut that out.

-Hello!
-How is everyone? Nice meeting you all.

Hey, don't joke around her.
She can understand you.

-How fun!
-Hey, Mom.

-Let's take a picture.
-Sure! Where's the camera?

-Here, Mom.
-Bro, she's pretty!

-Sweetheart, would you mind?
-No worries, ma'am.

We're doing a wacky shot. Wacky!

Wacky shot, bro!

Where are the chocolates?

Here, Mom.

I love chocolate.

-No doubt.
-Wait.

Hold on. Wait.

-Go.
-Yeah, sure.

-We're going.
-Go, bro!

Kaka!

-Nanny?
-Kaka!

Hey, Nanny Blessie.

Kaka!

What happened?

-Hey, Denden…
-You two know each other?

She's my guest. The one I was telling
you about. I took care of her in Russia.

This is Kaka.

Kaka, he's my boss
that I was telling you about. Denden.

Same with Oksana. Nickname, Kaka.

Denden, Kaka. Same same!

Isn't he handsome?

Not bad.

Kaka, are you sure you're not hurt?

Shit!

She's got a mouth on her.

What do you expect?

She got it from me.

I was with them almost all the time.

They're like my own children,
Kaka and Katya.

Oh, Nanny.

My sweet baby.

All right, here you are, baby.

You see, Den,

their father was always working.

Busy.

Eventually, her sister Katya got busy
doing ballet, too.

Always busy, huh?

My dear grandchildren!

-Grandma!
-Grandma!

-Bless. Very good.
-God bless.

Okay, go to Uncle.

God bless.

They're taking the kids to Manila
because their school enrollment's soon.

Well, then take your time.

Don't come in tomorrow
and attend to your guest.

You're so thoughtful.

Thank you so much, Den.

-It's nothing.
-Stay for dinner. It's late.

It's okay.
They're probably wondering where I am.

-I'm going.
-Okay.

Have a good evening.

Milo! There you are.

Are you a good boy? You miss me?

You know what, tomorrow,
I am going to walk your dog.

The poor thing's bored out of his mind.

I heard you're bored in here.
Are you bored?

It's okay, Mom.
I'll just bring him to the cafe.

How's the girl you were with earlier?

I drove them home.

But Mom, did you know
she's Nanny Blessie's guest?

-Really?
-Yeah.

She's beautiful.

And there she goes again.

I think it's wonderful she speaks Tagalog.

Yes, she does.

Why don't you ask her out?

You're so persistent, Mom.

-Come on.
-I'm going to bed. Good night.

-Just do it.
-Come on! Let's go, Milo.

-Oksana.
-Hey, bro. Thank God.

Bro, I'm done here.
A second longer and my nose will bleed.

-I've used up all my English.
-It's okay.

Oksana, excuse me. I must clean now, okay?

-Sure, thank you.
-Bro.

It's true.

Wow. Your dad seems so unreal.

Please excuse me, I have to get to work.

Hang on, let me clean this up for you.
It'll only take a moment.

Look, Denden. She's threatening to pay.

-I'll pay.
-Oksana, there's no need.

Yes, we're sure. It's on the house.

Sit… Sit there.

Nanny, you're so stubborn.

I told you,
you didn't have to come in today.

Denden, it was Kaka
who told me to come to work.

She'll just stay here
at the cafe and won't get in the way.

It's fine, Nanny.
Don't worry about your pay for the day.

Go show her around.

I'm telling you,
Denden, even if I could skip work,

I wouldn't have
the courage to do that anyway.

I know nothing about kayaking.

Those are the things she's into.

I trip over my feet climbing stairs.
You expect me to climb a mountain?

Okay, all right.

-Yes.
-Nobody with you?

-That's okay.
-Have you eaten?

Okay, just a minute, okay?

Son.

-Hey, Mom.
-She's by herself!

I'm taking this to her.

Long time, still.
That's still a long time.

What else do you plan on doing?
Anything else on your bucket list?

-Yes.
-My brother!

My brother can go with you!

They're just being silly.

Don't worry about it.

-We insist.
-Mom…

He will accompany you.

-Yes, Denden will.
-Hey, don't impose.

-Just do it. Go with her.
-All right, fine.

Is it okay if I join you?

We'll have fun, I promise you.

We'll make the most
out of your five days here.

-Yes!
-Happy now?

Great job, bro!

No, it's very good for you.

I had some paperwork to do.

There were some things
I had to take care of.

Wow, feels good.

-Thank you.
-Okay. Let's get ready.

When my dad was still alive,

we would always talk about Russia,
you know, and…

our bonding was traveling.

Russia was supposed
to be our first overseas trip.

I just never had the chance.

Propose a toast?

I'm no good at…

"Cheers."

Thanks.

Dang.

We're up so high.

Is this what you meant by taking risks?

-Are you sure that's the last one?
-Yeah, that's the last one.

Because I'm game
if there's anything else you want to do.

-Anything in mind?
-I don't wanna take too much of your time.

Where did that come from?

I don't have a girlfriend.

Wow, thank you.

Thank you, but…

You know, I've dated…
I've dated in the past.

There were some girls but…

They don't understand me.
They're all the same.

There was even
this one girl that dated me

so she can get free drinks at the cafe.

Shameless!

"You can explain everything
at the precinct!"

Blessie really taught you things!

The things Nanny teaches you.

No, please.

I've always dreamed
of paragliding with my dad.

You know, it's funny…
In Lowell and Monette's wedding?

My costume? I wore a flight suit.

Nanny showed some pictures.

Nanny Blessie, I swear…

Mt. Makiling is infested
with blood leeches called alimatoks.

Looks like we have
a sukob coming up.

Why, is Monette's brother getting married?

No, silly.

I meant you.

What is "sukob"?

In Philippine culture,

we believe siblings can't marry
in the same year.

So, our brother Dennis here,

his girl will have to wait.

Don't you have work to do?
Why don't you get to it?

Hey, leave them alone.
They might start to like each other.

Kidding!

Just joking!

I think she's a keeper!
Who cares about the sukob superstition?

-She said she's joking.
-That's my Russian girl!

I'm going to create a fans club.

"Ka-Den."

Son.

Oksana's leaving,

so you better level up your moves.

What are you talking about?

Level up!

Yes, all right.

Nanny, tomorrow we'll go swimming.

-The two of us?
-Yes, both of you.

Stop it, Nanny.

Ooh. Ouch.

That feels so good.

Come on, let's eat!

Thank you very much.

Kaka, get out of the water. Let's eat.

You're so beautiful, my darling.

Come. You wear your shirt.

I AM RUSSIAN
I AM FILIPINO

It suits you!

Let's go. I'm starving.

Now, we will use our hands.
You say, "kinamot."

-You get that.
-"Kamot" or "kamay" means hand.

This is shrimp.

Thank you for this.

I won't forget this, Den.

Come on, Nanny,
you're being silly.

-I really missed…
-I miss you, too.

Nanny, it's nothing.

So you can spend more time together.

My sweetie.

Eat more. It's very good.

Just eat. Quit it with the drama.

Try some mangoes. Sweet. Like that.

-Okay.
-Like this.

I'll always remember this day.

Don't be silly!

What are your plans
when you get back to Russia?

-We will miss you, Kaka.
-Miss you too.

-Where's your jacket?
-In the house.

Okay, I'll get it. Den!

Den, hold on.
I'm going to get her jacket.

I'll miss Nanny.

Perhaps I could. I wish!

Do you think we have a chance?

Your grandpa collected those
when he was still in Russia.

Then your father inherited them.

You know it was your father's dream
to go to Russia with you.

What about you?

Don't you want to follow Oksana there?

Mom…

Son.

This is the first time
I've seen you so happy.

If she's the reason why,

then why let her slip away?

Well, I got my tourist visa
faster than expected.

Then my mother and my brothers,

they offered to run the cafe.

-And, there was a promo…
-"Explain everything at the precinct."

My dad would have wanted to see this.

Oksana, mahal kita.

I love you, too. Mahal kita.

-Of course, I know my angles.
-I love it. Gorgeous.

I don't have a good angle
but I make it work. Armpit shot!

Yeah. Oh, my God! What a beauty shot!

-Hang on a sec.
-Yes!

-Give me a wacky shot, sis!
-Hey!

One more!

There we go.

Finally, a Tagalog speaker! My struggle
with language is on another level here.

It's difficult to understand them.

-"Gorgeous"?
-Why do you look shocked? Is it so weird?

Just be happy for me.
That's his pet name for me. "Gorgeous."

Isn't that right?

No way. You're lying.

-He's your husband?
-Yes. Why?

Yes! Can't you tell we're doing it?

Anywhere, everywhere, anytime. Right?

Oh, my God, it feels so good.

So don't make that face!

We do it every day
in that alley over there.

Wow, you got yourself a doll.

-She's like a doll.
-Let's go.

-What are you doing?
-Let's go!

-Take care, Gorgeous!
-Hey! Stop the car!

Thank you. Salamat.

Get in.

Such a big house.

Commander.

Come on, let's meet Dad.

Look who decided to show up!

Dad…

Princess, you've grown thin.

Dad, this is my boyfriend, Dennis.

Sambo.

- Lunch is ready.
- Good.

Thank you.

Dad.

This is our brand, Tabléa.

I… Nanny Blessie!

Da! Yes.

Just a little bit, sir. Not too much.

Thank you, Dad.

Do not dally.

Dennis Mercado can't hold his liquor.

NOT A MAN. DOES NOT EAT NORMAL FOOD.
CAN NOT DRINK.

Dad, Dipolog is so beautiful.

You know, Dennis,
I really take my hat off to you.

Dad, there's no need to get worked up.

You will not survive in the wild with him.

Dad, I'll keep that in mind

if I ever decide to live in a forest.

The new Pochet infusions.

Delicious. It's good.

I'm sorry, princess.
Your father is getting old.

I got it. Okay. I'll see you later.
I'm going to cook, okay?

He better be good.

Dad, he'll surprise you.

Milk, please. Quick.

Cheers.

Yes! Great.

It's too strong.

Shit.

Go! Get out!

Hey, friend…

What happened to you?
You look like you lost a bet.

Someone from home!

George? What are you doing here?

This is mine. I'm the owner.
That's why it's called Gorgeous.

Where's your husband?
He might get jealous again.

He left me behind.
He went hunting. We're not talking.

A toast for all the Filipinos
who are heartbroken over Russians.

Let's toast.

What about you, then?

What did you and Oksana fight over?

No, it's not her.

It's her dad.

I can't seem to do anything right…

around him.

I keep messing things up.

I had a plan, and it flopped.

Then I tried to go with the flow,
but I tripped up.

I don't know how to make it up
to him this time.

All fathers are strict.

Doesn't matter
if they're Russian or Filipino.

There will be no man
good enough for their daughters.

No one. Take my father, for instance.

He kept telling me,
"Sergei's just going to leave you!"

But look how much he loves me.

It's too much!

It's suffocating.

He keeps having doubts about me,
thinking I'm cheating behind his back.

So I'm feeling the urge
to prove him right.

Maybe actually try it for once.

Don't!

-Why?
-Don't do it.

-What do you mean?
-Put those back on.

What do you mean?

I don't want to put it back on!
What's it to you?

-Ow!
-That's enough!

My God! I see you're into bondage.

My safe word is "kukuruza."

-What?
-Kukuruza!

-Wake up!
-Are you there?

-Shit!
-Gorgeous!

-Hurry up! Get in there!
-Gorgeous.

Go in! You'll love it there!

Okay, my love, I forgive you.

My love, what are you doing to me?

My God, babe!

Baby? Can we talk?

Ten, 11, 12…

I have a hanky.

What is…

Dennis can take you, Dad.

He will take you, Dad.
Dennis can take you.

Sir! I'm down, sir. No more.

Please stop.

Yes.

Hey! But Dennis is not one of them.

I hate you!

Always playing hard to get.

I can't do it.

I love Oksana.

Just kill me.

Because I can't bear to hurt her.

I came all the way to Russia.

I'm even courting her father.

Oksana, I love you.
That's how much I love her.

Fine, all right.
You found your true love. It's true love.

This is crazy.

After you had your way with my body,
you leave me hanging like this?

It didn't work.

My powers have no effect on you.
Oh, my God. How dare you, Dennis?

Damn you. You just wore me out.

The heck?

Are you asleep? What the hell.

Hey! Wake up!

Is he dead?

No, he's alive.

Where is Dad? Is Dad all right?

Dad, but you should've told me.
I would've cut my trip short.

No, Dad. No.

Dad, I promise
I will never leave you again.

Princess.

Princess.

Welcome home, Dad!

Hi, Auntie. Hi, Nanny.

Good morning to both of you.

Kaka! You're finally back home.

Hello, Fyodor! Are you feeling better?

And eat plenty of soup,
drink plenty of water.

-I will.
-Get well soon, Fyodor! Get well.

-Son!
-Mom!

How's your arm?

It's okay, Mom.

-You better go, Mom.
-Okay, bye.

-Bye, Auntie! Bye, Nanny!
-Goodbye.

I got the recipe, sir, from Nanny Blessie.

You made it very obvious, sir.

Because I see my dad in you.

I miss my dad so much, sir.

-Yes.
-This one, sir?

Salamat.

Jeez… Why are you even asking?

Of course you did.
Everything was worth it. You have no idea.

We're going to get married?

Sukob.

-Remember?
-Right. Okay.

Oksana, I love you.

Dad!

Princess.

Dad, Dennis and I have decided…

Princess…

-It's settled.
-Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Princess.

I will be fine.

Dad, one call
and I'll get here as fast as I can.

DETERMINED, TRUSTWORTHY,
SELFLESS, LOVES MY DAUGHTER.

Loves Oksana.

Saved me.

Mission accomplished, General Big Bear?

Yes, he passed the test.

Princess is in good hands.

We can proceed
with our mission with no cause of alarm.

Sure. Yes. I mean, affirmative.

Yes, General?

Sasha.

Thank you.