Three Wise Fools (1946) - full transcript

Once upon a long, long time ago

the great knowing God..

...polished up an acorn

and planted it in a fragrant meadow.

And, whoosh, a hundred years
went sliding by..

...and a great wide spreading
oak stood in a garden.

Its branches reaching
for the tumbling clouds

its roots run deep in Mother Earth.

Now, this was a garden
of a house where people lived.

But here, the amazing thing

not one of them realized
that the tree was our home.



The home of a clan of Pixies.

Now, under this tree
these people lived

and loved and laughed and cried.

Just like us.

And most of them were very nice

when they'd left themselves be.

What's starting in the cauldron?

The Ancient One
is telling us a human tale.

About a little child human and
three old men he owns.

Humans? Ah, we're too old
for that stuff.

Why don't you tell us
something that's believable?

About Elves, or Leprechauns

or Pixies like us.

'A fairy tale.'



You still don't believe in humans

you wicked little crickets.

They don't believe in us,
why should we believe in them?

- Come on, Willy, let's squeeze.
- 'Stop.'

'You doubting
little tumbleweeds.'

'Get up in that chair. Go on.'

Tell us the tale, Ancient One.

Alright, alright.

Now, let me see.

Where was I?
Oh, yeah.

Well, it started one night
under this very tree.

A warm and wishful night it was.

'In the year
of 18.. Uh, 1870.'

'According to the calendar
of the human Jews'

and sitting cross-legged
on that very wall

in the round, deep, velvet shadows

was a great, dark stranger

from far across the water.

And outside the wall
was his faithful man servant

awaiting his master's pleasure.

The stranger
was playing a song of love

with the Lilith of Shamrocks in it.

And long peaceful road
over green hills

and the sound of the rolling sea.

Suddenly his eyes
grew eager as he looked

toward the great house.

But there was a lovely maiden
slipping away form a gay ball

and all her devoted swains.

Her name was Rena Fairchild.

And she was as good
as she was beautiful.

She hurried across the lawn

up the garden steps
toward the old tree

and right into the arms
of the stranger.

He kissed her lips

and held her close.

And then he whispered..

It's too dark, lady.

I'm ready, Michael.

What was that?

It was the wee folk of Plowden.

The fairies that you'd call
the pixies.

They always clap their hands
when lovers kiss.

Oh, yes. Your fairies.

Well, do you think
they live only in Ireland?

Sure if I'd had the time,
I'd chant an incantation

and call the glorious creatures
out of this very tree.

You wouldn't be knowing that colleen

living in this benighted land
of American...

Oh, Michael.

Rena, Rena.

Rena, you can't do this.

Running off to Ireland?

Why, you've lost your mind.

Who is this fellow?

Alright, gentlemen,
if it please your ears or no

I'm the O'Monahan.

The O'Manahan?

Whose broken bread with kings

and sung before queens,
and who might you be?

We're her friends
and we're going to stop her

from doing this crazy thing
if we have to...

Master, Master, your black forn?

I won't be needing it, O'Davern,
there's only the three of them.

Oh, wait, dear.

They are the three I told you about.

It's all my fault, really.

I couldn't decide between you

and then, out of nowhere,
he came along...

Rena, please.
I will soon be practicing.

It's a good life.
A noble calling.

- Share it with me.
- No, Rena.

The town's full of doctors now.

Marry him and you'll starve to death.

I'm the one for you, Rena.

I'll own the bank someday,
I'll have a million dollars.

- You'll be rich...
- 'Wait, Rena.'

I won my first case today
and old Judge Leopard said

I had a fine legal mind.

I'm gonna be an important lawyer
in this town.

Maybe even a judge.

Oh, it's no use.

- You do me great honor...
- Wait, lass.

Sure, they're three sweet
smelling, upstanding young men

and it's three fine offers
they're making.

'What have you to offer,
my unpleasant peasant?'

Me? Lot of value.

A song from me sally
would harp in a long road

with many a turner.

Just that and nothing more.

And loving you so much
I can only advice you

to take any one of the three.

- 'Yes, we do.'
- 'Yes, we do.'

Please forgive me.

I like you all.

But what I want are
the crazy, mad, wonderful things

that are Michael.

Just spoken.

So, over the wall we go, me girl

and off to find a priest.

We can't let her do this,
she's under a spell, come on.

- Rena, wait.
- Don't go, Rena, don't go.

You'll never see Ireland, Rena.

Why, you'll never even see a priest.

Michael.

I'll put an Irish curse on them

to last them rest of their life.

Oh, no, Michael, please.

They meant no harm.

Very well, then.

I'll make it a blessing instead.

Now, gentleman, may all
your lofty dreams come true.

May you be the famous man of medicine.

May you be the high and mighty judge

you set your heart on.

And may you get your million dollars

your glitter and ton of gold.

And may you go side by side
on a white, smooth road

with honors and decorations
heaped upon you.

In the name of the one horned witch

of the Bagavarde has spoken.

And to make heaven have
mercy on your souls.

Vera, vera, vera.

So, the fair maiden rode out
of their lives forever.

And they knew that
they'd never find another.

And 40 years dropped out of sight

over the rim of the world.

And by 1910, the three young suitors

had become three old bachelors.

Living together in a great,
big, lonely, brown stony house.

Outside their gates, life rolled on

in an ordinary way
for ordinary people.

But not for these three.

Uh, no indeed.

They had a blessing on them.

Aye, the words of the old Monahan

had indeed come true.

The young banker had acquired
his ton of gold.

The doctor had become
a learned man of medicine.

And the lawyer
was a high and mighty judge.

Ah, fine funeral.

Twenty seven carriages.

Ah, there you have it!

That's why we're giving away
a piece of property

that's worth $50,000.

Because he's worried about
how many carriages

there'll be at his funeral.

How many do you think
you'll have at yours?

- Well, I...
- I'll tell you. Just two.

I'll be in one.
Dick will be in the other.

And if we decide to ride together..

...you'll only have one.

Oh, so that's it.

We're making this magnificent gesture

because the people hate me!

- Is that it, Dr. Gaunght?
- No, no, no, no, no.

They love you.

That's why they call you
Pinch Penny Finley.

Huh, look who's talking,
the old croaker!

And Cold Potato Trumbell.

That's just it.

I want to put a stop
to those ridiculous names.

And I tell you, if we can buy
a little goodwill with this gift

it's a bargain.

Beg your pardon.

Mr. Paul Badger.

Badger? Tell him
we're not at home.

- We're out of town.
- Tell him we got smallpox.

Hello, boys.

- Hello, hello.
- Hey..

What are you doing here?

Why, haven't you heard?

I'm the new treasurer
of the university.

Oh.

Well, boys, you've kept
the old place up pretty well.

You know, I haven't been
in here in 25 years.

Not since you foreclosed on my mother.

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Badger.
- Oh, hello, professor.

Oh, not at all, not at all, professor.

Why won't you gentlemen sit down?

Thank you, thank you.

Uh, first of them, Appleby..

We have long been aware
of the university's desire

to build a Greek Amphitheatre.

And we own the only suitable
site adjacent to the campus.

But, judge, I told you last year
we just can't meet your price.

Uh, professor, that was last year.

This year, I believe you can.

We're going to give it to you.

- Keep it.
- Ted, the deed.

As a token of our love and esteem

for the college and the community.

Your what?

The old Fairchild estate!

Well, thank you, gentlemen, thank you.

Why, I'm overwhelmed.

I'm flabbergasted.

Giving it away.

What have you boys got up your sleeve?

Do you question our integrity?

Oh, no, no, of course, he doesn't.

Paul, now you'll have to
print something real nice

about them in your newspaper.

I don't see how I can avoid it.

Uh, come along now, Paul, come along.

Yes, Paul, run along,
run long and write

a nice big, fat story about us.

And print it in big, black headlines!

I just can't wait to tell
my Board of Regions about this.

I'm sorry, but I don't get it.

Those old buzzards
never gave away anything

in their whole lives

except something they didn't want.

Well, we certainly put it over.

Very pleasant little visit.

Something tells me that we're
going to have a lot of visitors.

From now on.

Saints alive, it is a glorious castle.

Oh, that it is, me lady.

Maybe I better go in
by me lawn and break the ice.

Sure, there's no ice to break.

There's not a cottage
or a castle in all Ireland

that's not honored by me presence.

Put the bags down, man.

There they are.

Now, we've got to make
a good impression.

Take off your hat

button up your coat

and pull in your stomach.

Let's go.

Holy monkey eye.

God save all here.

I heard all about you.

And the blessing that's on you.

And it all came true.

I can tell from your grand house.

'Who are you, little girl?'

Sheila O'Monahan,
the name that's on me.

Grand daughter of Michael.

The O'Monahan.

It's Rena Fairchild's granddaughter.

And this, this is the old Monahan?

Oh, no.

This is Terence Alaysius O'Davern.

The O'Monahan servant man
and boy for 50 years.

Please do sit down at your age, gentlemen.

And I'll sit.

I'll sit..

I'll sit on the little stooly.

And we'll try to get over the hedge.

Get over the hedge?

Granddad always said that
there was a hedge that stands

between people who are strangers.

One to the othered

until they talk back and forth.

Glory be, am I talking too much,
doctor?

Why?

'You're pulling your ears, sir.'

That used to be a signal we had,
granddad and I.

Whenever I talk too much,
he'd pull his ears

and I'd shut up like a spectacle case.

And where is your grandfather now?

Is he with you?

No, he's in Connemara.

We buried him on the slope
of a cool, green hill.

Standing straight up in his grave.

- Standing up?
- And why not?

In life, you've
been to an all man living.

God rest his soul.

And granny's, too,
her heart just couldn't beat

without grandad.

Rena dead?

And because of
the great fondness for you

and out of the bounty
of a generous heart

Mrs. O'Monahan commissioned me
to deliver into your hands

her most precious treasure.

Oh, really?

What is it?

- Sure, it is meself.
- What?

Her granny wants you
to be her guardians.

Her godfathers.

To raise her properly.

And look after he smallest aid.

Why can't her parents
take care of her?

She has no living relatives.

Her parents died when she was a baby.

Well..

We don't know anything about
raising a little girl.

Oh, what you don't know,
she'll teach you.

With the wisdom of
the old Monahan poured

into that little head,
I only have to close me eyes

and I can hear him every time
she opens her mouth.

Oh, she's a smart one, gentleman.

As bright as a new Shetland.

Hold your blimey, man.

Of course, you do need a woman about.

Someone to put needles
through your coat

when your buttons go astray.

But we send our coats to the tailors.

Ah, but there's no love in the thread

and needle of a tailor.

My dear child, I have no doubt
you'd be quite an asset

in any normal household

but here, with us..

- Three old bears...
- Granddad had a bear once.

His name was Parnell.

And I had him eaten from me hand..

'...eaten from me hand..'

...in fortnight.

They don't want me.

Oh, it isn't that, it's just that..

...and nothing more.

But granny said you needed me.

And I needed you.

It's such a big house.

No, child, it's a small house.

Pitifully small.

Their hats are made of flintstone.

Oh, no, there is good inside of them.

Rather don't humiliate yourself, child.

Thank you very kindly
for considering me.

God save you all your days.

If there's something we can do..

...a few dollars, perhaps?

Yes, there is something you can do.

For the blasphemous thoughts
I'm thinking, you can pray

for me soul.

That says to him.

My lady.

They're not worth even a small tear.

None I'll shed them.

That's the O'Monahan.

Thank you, Corby.

Eviction papers, I hope.

And as I was writing back to
the university, I noticed that

you have given me the deed
to the wrong property.

Wrong property?

Yes, there's mistake somewhere.

It's not the deed
to the Fairchild estate at all.

But I handled this personally,
I never make a mistake.

I tell you, this is
not the right deed.

Oh, for the love of my,
let me look at it.

I'll show you the signature.

There, there's
Rena Fairchild O'Monahan.

You've given us the Fairchild property

on the other side of town.

Ten acres of swampland.

You do have the right deed, gentlemen.

It would be most awkward
if you haven't.

You'd be giving away
something you don't own

and I'd be accepting it.

No, professor.

- Ha, ha, ha, professor.
- Ha, ha, ha, professor.

You're making a mole
out of a mountain hill.

It's probably a little mistake
that happened at the bank.

I'll have it straightened out
the first thing in the morning.

I hope so. Badger will give you
a front page spread.

Uh, yes, well, I'll see you tomorrow.

You never make any mistakes,
you blundering idiot.

Oh, how should I know she owned
two pieces of property?

I wrote and described
everything we wanted!

I even mentioned the old house!

But there's an old house
on the swamp property.

A slaughterhouse.

Wait till Badger hears about this.

Oh, Badger.

He'll really give us
a front page spread.

Holy mocky eye.

I got it, we'll buy the right place.

Of course, of course, so that's it.

- From whom?
- Who does it belong to?

Belongs to Rena.
I'll write her a letter.

She's dead, you lame brain.

Of course, so she is.

The heir's our cable lamp.

Yes. That little girl.

That little girl.

Sure it is some mistake.

This is not granny's house.

It can't be.

I'm afraid it is, child.

Nor tended a hand in all these years.

Milady, the jig's up.

There's nothing else for us to do

but take out our American
citizenship paper

and go in the old age pension.

It's that charity you're proposing?

It is a rich country.

It can surely afford two more
small mouths to feed.

Shame.

Milady, we can't live in that
dilapidated old shebang.

Shebang, is it?

Up man, just the only home we have

and we're going to live in it.

Oh-ho, vera, vera, vera.

It isn't so bad.

Perhaps now you can see
its possibilities.

And with me other eye and a half
I can see the impossibilities.

Whooshed. With a little painting
and mending and fixing

it'll be a...

A dilapidated old shebang.

You're right, man.

That's just what it is.

A debilitated old shebang.

Oh, me sweetheart, don't cry.

Don't cry.

O'Davern.

I'm a failure.

Darling, don't cry.

Don't cry.

But where will we go
and what will we do?

We've only a pound sterling
between us.

I'll make the great sacrifice.

What is that?

I'll go to work.

Oh, no.

I will, I will so.

You couldn't let yourself
off for hire.

It would be degrading.

I will, I will so.

But it's like I'd be selling you.

Slavery.

Uncle Tom's cabin.

The way I'd feel like Simon McGee.

Milady, there's nothing left for us

but to sell the old place.

Sell it?

Don't you ever breathe
such a word again.

Sell granny's place and the oak tree?

The oak tree!

The wood people, the Fairies.

Glory be, I forgot all about them.

They'll help us out of our troubles.

They were a small help to me
at the last sweepstakes.

Milady, maybe they've forgotten
their Gaelic.

Living in this heathen land so long.

Yes, maybe that's it.

Fairies, fairies, big and small

harky to a mortal's call.

Come out ye from your fairyland

and whisk me troubles all away.

Oh, please, little fairies,
please come out.

I'm in sore trouble.

I know you're there
because granddad said so.

Oh, please little ones.

You can't deny me.

A strangling all by me alone
in a heathen land.

Oh, show yourself.

I need your help so bad.

What more can I do,
you obstinate little things?

I'm on me tummies now.

Would you have a O'Monahan
groveling in the dust?

Are you going to help me
or are you not?

I'm only a mortal.

But I've got me dignity.

Excuse me, black raged little ones.

I didn't expect such quick service.

Little girl, we've come to apologize

and take you home to live with us.

Oh, I knew you would.

O'Davern, O'Davern, look.

They're going to take me.

They're going to
take me home with them.

Oh, glory, oh, glory, they're smiling.

- Then you'll come with us?
- Oh, yes, oh, yes.

We'll have so much fun together.

I'll make your walls sing
and your curtains dance.

Very good, very good.

I hope you little biggers
know what you're doing.

Here we are, my dear.

Let me take your hat.

Bobby, take Miss Sheila
up in the elevator.

- The north room.
- Yes, sir.

Glory be.

A lift.

I was in one in Dublin once.

It took me breath away.

- Come on, O'Davern.
- Uh-uh, just a moment, milady.

Ah..

Before I step into that
infernal machine

I want to know what me own position is

in this grand house
and just what would it be?

Oh, stop, O'Davern.

You've been me man servant,
like you've always been.

Must we take him too?

For sure.
He's me inheritance.

I promised granny
I'd take care of him.

He's a drinking man, you see.

Oh, that's a foul blow, milady.

You might've waited
till they caught me at it.

You'll get used to him.

I only drink because of me affliction.

An unruly kidney.

Well, we won't object to that.

There, that settles it!

The bags, me man.

After you, milady.

O'Davern, I'm the happiest girl

in all God's green gloriest world.

It's a county fair day in me heart.

Milady.

Alright, me man.

Take me breath away.

Well, frankly, gentlemen,
it's hard for me to picture you

as the guardians
of a seven-year-old girl.

You honestly think
she'd be happy in your home?

Her home, judge.

We mean to make it that.

We'll give her everything
her little heart desires.

You know how we felt
about her grandmother.

Been carrying her picture around
all these years.

Yes, I see. Ahem.
Well, uh, Sheila?

What do you think about it?

Do you want to be their little girl?

Oh, Your Excellency,
it's the answer to me prayers.

You think you would come to love them?

Sure, and that will be
the easiest part.

They're three old darlings

and I think they'll make
wonderful godfathers.

After I do a little fixing on them.

Yes, well, uh,
you have my best wishes.

All of you.

And so they had her.

Yes, indeed, that little
innocent, human child

had walked right into
their yawning trap.

And then, what'd the old loggers do?

Scam her up?

No, they gobbled up her property.

Could they do that?

Oh, with court approval,
in the proper way of all

and where as is, they could sell
her property to anybody.

And as they needed it
to save their faces

they sold it to themselves.

And all that just to build
an old Greek theatre. Tsk, tsk.

Above the main entrance
there'll be a bronze plank

with all our names on it Appleby said.

- Oh, good, good, good.
- Well, coffee, Ted?

Uh, no, no, thanks.

Yes, I think I will have another cup.

I'd like to drink a toast.

- A toast?
- Yes.

To our dear beloved little ward, uh..

What's her name again?

- Sheila.
- Yeah, Sheila.

Long may she live.

Yeah, but not with us.

I couldn't tell you at dinner

but I phoned Miss Marlow's
school in Philadelphia

and they said they would
take her when we send her.

Excellent idea, Ted, excellent.

Undoubtedly the best thing for her.

And for me, too.

I am sick of going around this place

with a silly grin on my face.

Oh, it hasn't been so bad.

At least, she's a tidy little tyke.

Doesn't leave things lying
around like other children.

'Come in, come in!'

Begging your pardon, sirs.

In me new position
as majordomo to her ladyship

I have the honor to announce her
most speculant presence.

Miss Sheila O'Monahan.

I thought you were in bed, young lady.

Oh. I couldn't sleep.

Not with boxes and boxes packed
there against the ceiling.

Uh, gentlemen, I had
nothing to do this morning

and so I stepped into
the Boonton departmental store

and ordered a complete trousseau
for a girl seven years old.

Oh. Fine, fine, O'Davern.

Splendid.

- I hope...
- Begging your pardon, sir.

I hope you had the clothes sent
on approval.

'Yes, sir, on approval.'

And I approve of everything
they've sent.

O'Davern, give me a new cape please.

I will, milady.

Wait till you see me new cape.

Oh, a doll's house.

Is that for me too?

No, my dear,
that is not a doll's house.

That is a model
of an outdoor auditorium

it's called a Greek theatre.

It's beautiful.

It's going to be the biggest one
in the country.

And the most expensive.

Entirely faced with marble.

And if it hadn't been for you,
they could never build it.

- Me?
- Yes.

It's going to be built
on your granny's place.

And you're going to make
a lot of money out of it.

Old granny's place?

And this is the paper that
gives us the right to do it.

Do they have to tear down the house?

And cut down the trees and all?

Of course, you couldn't build
the Greek theatre otherwise.

Sure, it is a wondrous strain
of good inside of you

wanting to build
such a beautiful theatre.

But then I don't know why
you shouldn't be wonderful men.

With granddad's blessing on you.

Yes, he wished us
a broad, smooth road.

We've had pretty fair saving.

And that One Eyed Witch
certainly did alright by us.

You mean the One Horned Witch?

The Bagavarde?
What about her?

'Well, it was in her name
he gave us his blessing.'

- He didn't.
- 'Ai, milady, he did.'

With me own ears I heard.

"In the name of the One Horned Witch

of Bagavarde just spoken," he said.

Then it wasn't a blessing,
it was a curse.

Of the most ugly old witch
in all Ireland.

Oh, I wouldn't run the old girl
down like that if I were you.

He wished me a million dollars.

And some golden stone
around your neck?

A golden stone?

Oh, this is dreadful.

You poor, poor darlings.

O'Davern.

We must take the curse off them.

Oh, no, milady, an O'Monahan put it on

and an O'Monahan must take it off.

Then I'll do it.
Fetch me hazel twig.

- I will.
- Hurry, man, hurry.

Oh, let's not have
any fuss about this.

Oh, Sheila, some other time will do.

Oh, no, now, this very minute.

Oh, Sheila, this curse business
is a lot of foolishness.

Or is it?

You're tottering on the edge
of a black pit.

Here's the twig, my lady.

That's not hazel, that's honeysuckle.

They both begin with an "H."

Oh, that'll do.
Now, give me some salt.

- Hurry, man, hurry.
- Hurry, my lady.

Get in there, please.

Now, stand the way you were

when he first put a curse upon you.

Oh, I think I was on that side.

- I think I was on this side.
- I was in middle.

No, you're right,
you're right, you're right.

I was in the middle.

Alright, you're still in the middle.

- I just said so.
- Alright...

- Here's the salt, my lady.
- Thank you.

- Oh, this is silly.
- Sir, that's not true.

With me own eyes I saw grandad
take the curse off of a cow.

And it didn't have
the two headed calf.

Now, we are ready.

Dim the lights, O'Davern.

Cross your finger, gentlemen.

And don't think of feathers.

- Feathers?
- Shh!

Don't break the spell.

Harky One Horned witch,
I call you forth

and command you to take the curse

off of this builded house.

I, Sheila, granddaughter
of Michael The O'Monahan

do here now break your evil spirit

on the doctor..

...on the judge..

...on the banker.

And I sprinkle
a little pinch of honest salt

on the tail of your broomstick.

So it may fly you back
and sink you deep

into the Bagavarde.

Be gone.

Tis' I, Sheila, has spoken..

Whoosh! Whoosh!

There.

Now, excuse me, please.

I'm still hoping you'd find me.

Here, here, here, Sheila, wait.

What are you doing with that paper?

I'm keeping it, sir.

Yes, we got to have it
to build a Greek theatre.

Oh, I'm sorry about the theatre.

But you'll have to build it
somewhere else.

Why, Sheila?

Ruining granny's place

would be like sticking a knife
in me heart.

Why, I..

I'd rather be married to Henry VIII.

Oh, this is a fine kettle of fish.

- O'Davern.
- Aye, me lady.

What are you doing?

Oh, I, I was just fixing the clock

for the sweet smelling old gentlemen.

It was running backwards.

I'm glad you're coming to your senses.

They are sweet smelling old gentleman.

They just wanted to
give me a lot of money

for granny's place.

This is in writing, since I own it.

And what would they want
with that old shebang?

They want to build theatre
for the Greeks on it.

A theatre for the Greeks?

Yes, only faced with marble.

Oh! No, if it were
for the Irish

there might be some sense in it

but the Greeks, there can't
be more than 15 Greeks

in the whole township.

I tell you, there's an odor
of larceny about this house.

I don't smell anything.

Oh, my lady

this is an important piece of writing

I can tell by the seal on it.

Mind you, keep it in a safe place.

- I'll keep it in me bosom.
- Yes.

Come, man.

There's no need to be high
handed about this, Ted.

If she won't give us the deed

we can always get a duplicate,
can't we, Jimmy?

Why, of course, we could,
but that means

going back over all those
legal steps again.

We don't wanna start any suspicion.

Our safest cause is,
just talk her out of it.

I still say, let's take it away
from her and be done with it.

Alright, me man

take me breath away.

'Come in, come in, come in.'

You were supposed to be asleep.

I just wanted to bid you goodnight.

- Hm, you said that downstairs.
- Not really.

You can't say goodnight
to anybody that you care about

unless you say it with a kiss.

I don't approve of kissing.

Microbe...

Whooshed with your microbes.

Granddad always used to say

he never heard of anybody
dying from a kiss.

But there's many a poor soul

just die from the lack of one.

I won't shut up.

And you can leave off
pulling your ear.

You'll have it stretched out
until it looks like a..

...well, a shopping bag.

Alright. Well, make it quick.

I won't kiss you when you're
looking like a old lemon..

...wrinkled by the sun.

Come on now. Give me a smile.

I don't feel like smiling.

I've been smiling all day.

Is the bird of gloom
sitting on your shoulder?

Him and all his relations.

I'll shoo him off for you.

Whoosh, whoosh, woo,
whissh, whissh, whissh.

There. Now come on,
give me a smile, hm?

I won't.

Hey.

If you were to give me
that piece of paper

I might smile.

I'll make you smile without the paper.

I'll even make you laugh.

No, you won't. You can't.

First of, do you know what a laugh is?

A laugh is a small ball of air
with a tickle in it.

It's made by a tiny elf..

...with a drop of sweet oil
on a feather.

It starts in your tummy
and goes up to your esophagus

trying to get to your mouth.

Sure, there's one inside of you now.

I can see it from the outside.

Oh, but the poor thing
has lost its way.

It's crawling up your spine.

It's coming out of your ear.

It's in the open.
Oh, and it's a beauty.

It's crawling down your jawbone.

It's hopped onto your chin.

Look out, doctor, look out.
Don't open your mouth

it'll jump in.

I told ya. I told ya.

God sit on your pillow.

Eh, bubble with a tickle on it.

What are you laughing at,
you chucklehead?

You're in trouble up to your..

...shopping bags.

Uh, what is it?

Oh, what are you doing here,
little girl?

Nothing, sir.
I just came to tuck you in.

You what?

I have to take care of you
now that you are me guardian.

My dear child, let's get our
relationship straightened out.

You're not taking care of us

we're taking care of you.

That's why we must
have this paper back.

I hear no more about that paper
this night.

You're going to sleep now.

- Squeeze down.
- What?

Squiggle down.

Squiggle down?

So, I can tuck you in
and kiss you goodnight.

You want to tuck me in?

Yes, sir.

And kiss me goodnight?

For sure.

Why?

Because I love you.

Oh!

Didn't anyone ever tuck you in
and kiss you goodnight before?

No.

Not for a very long time.

Not since your mother.

No, not since.

But how can you fall sleep?

Oh, I've been getting some help

from those pills the past few years.

- Like most old men.
- You are not old.

Sure, to hear you talk, you think that

you were Mr. O'Brady himself.

'And who is Mr. O'Brady?'

He's the man who will never die.

Haven't you ever heard of him?

I saw him once with me own two eyes..

...when grandad went to sing
at his castle.

All wrinkled like
a washing board his face was.

Much worse than yours, sir.

I mean, in no offence.

And all bent over and caved in

from the weights of
the years he had on him.

It's a wonderful story.

Well, go ahead and tell it.

Well, Death came to Mr. O'Brady
one day

and he's sitting on his hard stool.

"Come on, my lad," says Death

"It's time for you to go."

Now, Mr. O'Brady
didn't want to go

but he didn't let on.

"Sure, if you want me

just more than me wife does."

"I'm pleased and willing to go.

If you grant me
one small request."

"Well," says Death.

"Since you are so oblige and courteous

not causing me any trouble.
What is it you want?"

"Will you spare me life
until I say my prayer?"

asks Mr. O'Brady.

"Sure and I'll do that," says Death.

"But since I have me your
words," says Mr. O'Brady

"I'll say me prayers."

And he never did.

And he never will.

So, he'll live forever.

When we saw him, granddad said

he was just wearing out his 35th wife.

God sit on your pillow.

Mr. Findley.

Mr. Findley.

Where in Sam Hill did she put it?

Were you looking for me,
Mr. Findley?

What? No, of course not,
I wasn't looking..

Yes, of course, I was looking for you.

You sound mad.

Is it because I won't let you
have granny's place?

Why, no, of course not, Sheila.

Right, come over here.

I don't think you realize we're
paying you for granny's place.

Don't you wanna be rich?

Have a lot of green money..

...with the President's
picture on it.

Now, what would I do with money?

Even if I had money, no end of
horrible things might happen.

What things?

Should I just give it away
to some poor people

and chances are,
I'd pick the wrong one.

A family, for instance.

Down to their last potato

not even a little care
to put against their leg.

And along comes me money,
and what happens?

Before you know it,
there's Mrs. Murphy.

All dressed up in silks and cape
and high button shoes

and bird in her hat.

Uppity, she's now.

Snubbing her neighbors

and swishing down the street
with her high...

Who's Mrs. Murphy?

And coming home with a breath on her

that would knock the legs
off from underneath the table.

And poor Murphy

sitting in the kitchen with
the dirty dishes up to his neck.

Now, the poor old man
isn't going to stand for this.

So, what does he do?

He throws her out into the gutter.

And along comes the...

Yes, but who is Mrs. Murphy?

It's the woman I gave me money to.

Then, why give it to her?
Why not keep it?

Oh, no. But then,
I'd be like you.

And that would be terrible.

Terrible? Why?

Oh, Mr. Findley

you're in so much trouble
with your million dollars.

Oh, I am?

The everlasting torments.

The fire in the brimstone,
the pitchforks prodd...

Prodding pitchforks, huh.

Oh!

You mean that I'm going down
to the bad place?

It says in the book.

"It is easier for a camel to go
through the eye of a needle

than for a rich man to enter
the kingdom of God".

Oh!

Mr. Findley, you'll just have to
get rid of your money.

But don't worry, I'm here now.

And I'll help you.

And when I'm finished with you

you won't have a poor thing.

Oh, that's wonderful.

That's just wonderful.

Ah, I think you're sleepy.
You better go to bed.

Oh! Oh, thank you, O'Davern.

I always walk in my sleep.

A kleptomaniac, eh?

What do you mean?

Taking me lady's paper.

I didn't take your lady's paper.

Then what are you hiding
behind your back?

I'm not hiding behind my back!

'What's going on out here?'

Oh, he's been drinking.
He's drunk.

Aye, then, I am.

Now, I'll be taking my lady's
paper and go sleep it off.

Go away from me, you drunken baboon.

I've got it and I'm going to
hold on to it.

Now, I'm not the one
to be contradicting

the learned gentlemen

not a poor ignorant third grade
scholar like meself.

But I meant you to say
you'll not keep it.

That is, unless,
you want me to look up

your new friend Mr. Badger.

Badger?

Suppose now I was to whisper

in his ear a few of tonight's doings.

He could write a very
interesting article, he'd quote

"Three old schemers stealing
a poor orphan's birthright."

Oh! That's sheer
misrepresentation, O'Davern.

But that's way it would be
sounded in Mr. Badger's paper.

Ted, give him the deed.

Oh, this is blackmail.

O'Davern.

How would you like to earn
a quick $1,000?

Wouldn't Mr. Badger like
to hear that innocent remark?

'Give him the deed, Ted.'

- Alright...
- 'Give him the deed.'

Alright, there it is.

And I'd suggest
you keep your hands off

until the little girl gives it
to you on her own free will.

And mark you, I'll be watching
over her like a hawk.

Like a pouncin' hawk.

It's not me favorite brand, mind you.

I'll thank you to lay in a stock
of Kilkerran's Irish whiskey.

I prefer it.

To our afflictions, gentlemen.

Old house.

Dang, blasted old house.

Oh, dang, blasted...

Well, what do you want,
you educated street cleaner?

Mrs. Swanson, sir, in 8D, she

she doesn't seem to be
responding to treatment.

Oh, of course not.

You're treating the inflammation.

Remove the cause
and you'll affect a cure.

- Yes, sir.
- Hm.

What was it I just said?

You said, "Remove the cause
and you'll affect a cure."

Certainly.

That's it, Perkins.

We'll move the wreck.

Jack her up, put her on rollers

and cut off her front porch.

Poor Mrs. Swanson.

Yeah, yeah, that's an idea.

Well.

Glory be, your home so early.

What is it? A holiday?

Yeah, it'll seem like a holiday..

...when you hear
what we have to tell you.

Sheila, we've got some
great news for you.

You needn't worry about
your granny's house anymore.

Are you going to build a theatre

for the Greeks some place else?

They are going to move
the house somewhere else

right on our own property.

And they are going to fix it up

and paint it just for you.

That'd take a power of money.

My dear Sheila, where your
happiness is concerned

money is no object.

Doesn't it please you?

Sure, it's a great kindness
you're showing me.

And it would make a big dent
in Mr. Findley's million.

But the house is falling into pieces.

I can't imagine you wanting

that old shebang cluttering up
your beautiful garden.

- 'Shebang?'
- It's all it is.

It's full of worms, spiders and rats.

A land what if you got for a shilling.

Oh, will you do me a please?

'Well, if you feel this way about it'

'in heavens name, why don't you
give us the deed?'

Well, it's not the house, sir.

'Not the house?'

- It's the tree.
- 'What tree?'

That beautiful oak,
where the little folks live

in the roots, sir,
and in the branches.

They've been there for ages.

Bless their little hearts.

'Bless whose little hearts?'

The Fairies, Leprechauns.

Sure, it is impossible that
you haven't heard of them.

You mean little things that high?

Oh, they're of all sizes.

Some are big as I am.

'You mean to say, you actually
believe in such creatures?'

Oh, yes.

All good people believe in them.

Everyone in Ireland does.

Oh, come now, Sheila

you're too big a girl
for such nonsense.

Oh, sir, it's not nonsense.
It's true, it's really true.

Who do you suppose
makes window blinds fly up

when nobody's around at all?

Or what makes clock strike funny
sometimes all of a sudden?

Or what makes them go at all?

Why, the main spring unwinding,
of course.

Who makes the main spring unwind?

'Oh, some little gimmick
going back and forth.'

Gimmick, that's it, a gimmick.

Although, why don't you call it
by its right name?

A hardworking little leprechaun.

My dear child, you are being
victimized by your imagination.

That's just superstition.

Oh, no, sir.

They're the very next things
to angels.

They whisper good thoughts
in your ear at night

when you're asleep.

So, you can't help but doing
good things during your day.

Sure. Think of what happens
the day I came here.

You didn't want me at all.

Not as, not as much,
much as me little finger.

Who held me?

Who brought us together?

The Pixies?

Who else? I turned around

and there you were..

...and smiling.

Mine for the wrapping up

the three sweetest, grandest..

...most wonderful godfathers
in the whole world.

There.

'Do you solemnly swear
to tell the truth'

'the whole truth,
nothing but the truth?'

- I do.
- 'State your name.'

Ralph Emerson.

- Be seated.
- Yes, sir.

Mr. Emerson,
what is your occupation?

Landscape gardener, tree mover.

Horticultures.

Now, tell me, Mr. Emerson...

Uh, just-just a minute.
Just a minute.

Did you say you were a tree mover?

Oh, yes, sir.

Court's adjourned.

I wanna talk to you.

What is it? What is it?
What's up?

Shh! I don't know.
They're in there now.

Who? Who? Who?

Stop who-ing, you hoot owl.

Jimmy and Sheila are in there
with a tree mover.

With a tree mover? What does
he want with the tree..

Oh, gives me a brilliant idea.

We don't cut the tree down.
We move it.

How you got a million dollars
I'll never know.

Pixies, Fairies..

- Well..
- Well..

Pixies never leave the tree
until the tree has died.

Sometimes they live in the roots.

And if you tear up the roots

you may break the arms and legs
of the poor little darlings.

I'd be a murderer..

...with blood on my hand forever.

Can't move the tree.
Can't move the house.

Can't move this.
Can't move that.

Mr. Findley.
It's way past your lunch time.

Is there something I can get?

Yes, you can get out.
I'm trying to think.

Distractions,
interruptions... noise.

Now, here's your money,
Mr. Dugan.

And this is what I want you to say.

Okay, Findley.

Don't worry about a thing.

Don't forget, 8 o'clock sharp.

The moon is at three quarters.

That's why thought we better come.

Sure then, it's a fitting night
for them to be galivanting.

Of all the silly, addlepated
tomfoolery, this is the worst.

It'll never work.

It has to work.
It's our last chance.

I don't think we should go
much closer.

We might scare them.

Shh!

'I don't see them.'

Glory be, of course.

Me incantation.

There they are.

The wood people.

Do you see them?
Do you see them?

Yes, dear.

Look at the little darlings.

Just as real as I always
knew they were.

Little people.

Our Fairy Queen
has asked me to explain

to her faithful subjects

why she has ordered us
to move out of this tree

which has been our home
these many years.

We are leaving because the heart
of the tree is dying.

'Yes, it has angina pectoris.'

It's no longer a fit home
for the wee people.

In fact, the poor old thing
should be cut down

and taken out of its misery.

Did you hear that, Sheila?

'The Fairy Queen has found us
a new home far away.'

So, let us depart

here the moon sets

and the dew is on the grass.

Come, little people.

I've seen them, I've seen them.

Take me home.

One small old body
can't stand anymore.

Come. Come, child.

Sure, there's no stones
in me boots this night..

...just feathers.

Soft, downy feathers.

Thank you, sir.

But I'm afraid the lift might hold me.

And I want to take the way I feel..

...upstairs to bed
all smooth and quiet.

So, I can go to sleep.

And think what's happen to me.

And go to bed with
a glorious little creatures..

...cuddling in me thoughts.

Just as you wish, my child.

Sure, I'm the ungrateful one.

I have everything me heart desires.

And you haven't what you want at all.

One, two, three, four, five.

It's me deed.

So, if you are still set on
theatre for the Greeks

you're most welcome to it.

You can tear down me house

and put me oak tree out of its misery.

Or do anything you want.

You can so.

I love you truly, truly.

I don't mean because I saw them.

I mean because you saw them.

I know you believe now.

Because we saw them together.

And it was like, like a marriage.

A sacred marriage between us.

Goodnight.

And God sit on your pillows.

Well, boys, this goes to
Appleby tonight.

The university gets its property.

The little girl has seen her Fairies.

And we're sitting pretty.

Think I'll go to bed.

Yes. I will too.

Are you trying to tell this court

that you were attacked
by supernatural beings?

That I am, sir.

Not that I'm offering
an alibi, Your Honor.

But the dirty little beggars
were most foul in their tactics.

They were not good Fairies.

Probably, exiles.

You actually mean Fairies?

Little things with wings?

Yes, sir, Your Honor.

And as they seemed
democratic little spites

me not dreaming
they use brass knuckles

I invited them to have
a few nips of the good stuff.

Offered some Murphy's liquor emporium.

Well, sir, I wasn't there
a matter of ten minutes

when one of them, a north of
Ireland runt named Dugan

passed a certain remark
about me dear Uncle Seamus.

Now all deceased and departed.
God rest his soul.

Come on, man, make it brief.

Well, I'm a south of Ireland
man meself

and being remarked at

I remarked right back at him
and doubled it.

And then, this pusillanimous lump..

...told me to shut up
or he knock my kneecaps off.

"Go on, you dummy tassie," I said

"I could take 20 like you," I said.

Now, there, Your Honor,
was where I made me mistake.

There where thousands of them.

I saw them. I smelled them.

I was up to me belt buckle in them.

O'Davern, O'Davern, O'Davern!

My lady, my lady. You got here.

As soon as I got your message.

Here, here, here.

Who are you, little girl?
Officer.

You remember me, sir?

I do?

I'm Sheila O'Monahan.

Oh, yes, of course.

You-you are the little Irish girl.

Yes, sir. And thank you
for the compliments, sir.

And this is me faithful man servant.

You are?

It's me humble privilege to serve her

and now that she's here,
God bless her kindly

she'll substantiate me story.

You saw the Fairies too?

Yes, sir.
A whole tree full of them.

Oh, now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Oh, Judge Trumbell.

Come in, gentlemen.

How do you do, sir?

I hope you'll excuse
this interruption.

We just came to get the little girl.

But you don't understand.

O'Davern's in trouble.

His Excellency won't believe
that we saw the Fairies.

Obviously, the man had hallucinations.

It's terrible what liquor
will do to some people.

Come, Sheila, we better go.

Wait, tell the poor unbelieving man

that you all saw them.

'You are going to tell him,
aren't you?'

You did see the Fairies
last night, didn't you?

Tell him.

Oh, but don't you see what
you are doing to O'Davern?

They're sending him to prison
for telling the truth.

Oh, it's so, so important.

Please, tell him.

I want to hear from your own lips.

Did you see 'em or did you not?

I won't shut up.

Did you see 'em?

Oh, judge, Your Excellency,
do you hear

how they're denying me
by their silence?

Please, you tell him.

It was... just sort
of a game, my dear.

Yes, Sheila, it was just a game.

You don't believe at all,
and after we saw them together

didn't we see them leaving the tree?

Didn't I give you me deed?

Oh, could have I been dreaming?

Oh, there must be fairies.

Sheila..

I couldn't live with that word.
I wouldn't want to.

No, there, there, darling.

Of course, there are fairies.

'Quiet.'

'Quiet!'

'Order in the court.'

The little ones,
they're here. A miracle.

A fake.

A fake, they're all fakes!

Darlin', they're not fairies at all.

They're nothing but a mob of midgets.

What do you mean?

Just people, darling.
Little humans who never grew up.

Humans?

Then the beetle fairies
are still in my tree?

You're going to cut it down
and kill them all.

Was that the game?

We only did it to make you happy.

To make me happy?

You made me wish that I was dead.

Please, Your Excellency,
may I have me man servant back?

Dismissed.

Just a minute, gentlemen.

Joe, catch that little girl.
Bring her to me.

Court will recess in 30 minutes.

Come on, everybody.

I want to see you,
gentlemen, in my chamber.

'That's what they need,
Your Honor.'

'That's just what they did.'

'And that's why I say they are'

three contemptible
lowdown blackhearts.

Why, you drunken weasel.

Oh, wait, Ted, wait.

I demand him be thrown out.

Before you do any
demanding, Mr. Findley

I advise you to answer his accusation.

Is it true that your motive
in bringing this young child

in your home was to
acquire the property?

Wait. Wait.

It's true. It's all true.

We were in a difficult situation.

And, well, it seemed
the simplest solution.

That was a week ago, ages ago.

What seemed important
then is meaningless now.

Things happened to all
of us since then.

Strange things, new things.

We've never heard a
little girl laugh before.

Hooked up a dress, waited till
bed for a goodnight kiss

frightened to death for fear
she wouldn't come in.

Well, you see, judge

you couldn't take her away
from us now.

We wouldn't. We couldn't.

Well, hang in, man, we love her.

No, you don't.
How could you love me?

Playing a game on me.

Dressing up little humans
to pretended they were...

Sheila, we do love you.

You're the only one that I have
ever loved, except your granny.

I didn't want to.
I fought it, I'll admit it.

But now, I love you
from the bottom of my heart.

Please tell Judge Watson
that you want to stay with us.

Please do.

And, Sheila,
I'll buy you a nice red pony.

Nice red pony, you can't
buy love for pound or pence.

I was so happy last night.

I thought that you believed
in the fairies

and how they'd help you get rid

of your sinful old money
and lead you into heaven.

But it's too late.

You've had the curse on you
too many years.

I'm not stopping
another night in your house

I never want to see them again.

You won't have to, my dear.
There's been a mistake.

Fortunately, I have the
authority to correct it.

I'm going to discharge them
as your guardian.

Joe, get the matron.

Matron? What are you
going to do, Watson?

I'm going to arrange to commit her

to the state home
for orphan children at Bayford.

- What?
- I won't, I won't go.

It's the best place for you, Sheila

you'll be well taken care of.

But this is absurd, judge,
she has plenty of money.

The money we paid for her property.

It's in trust for her.

And I'll not touch
any of it. There's a farthing.

It'll be used to pay for her
support in the institution.

O'Davern, O'Davern.

I'll not have her in an institution.

Your Honor, she's mine.

We'll live by the side of the road

if we have to, like the
O'Monahan's have always done.

But that's impossible, O'Davern.

But she's an O'Monahan.

I.. There's no alternative.

Over me dead body. Run, Sheila.

- Sheila.
- Yeah, Sheila.

Stop. Stop, Sheila.

Hey-here-here, young lady.
Here-here.

Let me go! Let me go!
Let me go!

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Let me go! Let me go!

'Let me go!'

Here, put her down, put her down.

Take charge, Ms. Emert.

- Come child.
- I won't go! I won't go!

- Yes.
- I won't go!

I won't go! I won't go!

Good day, gentlemen.

Three wise men.

After what you've done this day

it's you that should be put
in an institution

to rot behind bars

for the rest of your selfish lives.

Three wise men.

Three wise fools.
How right he was.

You see, it seems to be a
common trait of humans that

they never realize they're
drinking nectar until it turns

to wormwood in their throats.

Poor humans. Why do they
always hurt each other?

Because they don't exist, that's why.

And Almighty God wouldn't
waste one small breath

in creating such heartless animals.

Willy, the squeak, I'll wager
you a sack full of gold acorns

I'll still make you believe in human.

It's a bet.

Hey, what did you say?

- 'It's a bet.'
- Done.

Now, lay back your skeptical
ears and listen with your heart.

Well, that night the three old
men sat together in their

big empty house, each with
his own bitter thoughts.

I tried to buy the
Fairchild estate today.

They start grading in the morning.

Where is she?

Where is who?

You know who, the little girl.

I warned you, gentlemen,
this is another

of your high-handed maneuvers.

- I'll-I'll...
- Why..

- What's happened to her?
- Where is she?

Disappeared into thin air.

- Why? Where?
- How do I know where?

The matron was giving her up a bath

stepped out to get a towel.

When she came back,
the child was gone.

Not a sign of her.

Left her clothing and disappeared

without a stitch on.

- O'Davern.
- That's it.

You find that Irishman,
you'll find the girl.

- Where's your phone?
- This way, judge.

'Come on, Sheila, come on.'

Is the coast clear?

Oh, please, darling, give it up.

You shouldn't enter a convent.

Me mind is made up. And there'll
be no changing of it.

Ah, listen, child, I'll keep
you away from the bobby's.

They'll not cart you
off to an orphanage.

The country's full of informers

they're feeding the hedges for us now.

But am I not the man who
escaped the whole county Cork

constabulary and then with
bloodhounds at me heels?

We'd run by night and sleep by day.

Darlin', we go out west.

Kentucky or Maine.
We'll become Indians.

No, no, O'Davern, I'll not be a
fugitive with me picture

on all the post offices.

Oh, please, child, give it up.
You're too young to be a nun.

No, I'm not. Nuns have to
start being nuns some time.

What does it matter
if I start a bit early?

But they cut off all your hair, child.

I know, I know.

But what more can I do
with me wasted life?

What's to become?

Who's to make me decisions
and control me weaknesses?

Left to die in a drunk hood's grave.

Oh, me, poor, poor man.

But you got to be brave.

I'll be praying for you always.

Every second beat.

Will O'Davern give me blessing?

Well, well, well.

Promise me

you'll have no more tears
with Mr. Kilkerran.

Not a thimblefull.
Not even a whiff.

Go, O'Davern, go.
And God keep step with you.

I've come, sister.

You've come for what?

To take the veil.

Come in, child.

Come, child.

Sister, please tell
Reverend Mother this little girl

wants to become one of us.

Yes, sister.

Sit down my dear.

I like the name Sister Delores,
if it's not already taken.

That's a very sad name.

Sure, and it's a very sad world.

Could I have it back
before I take me vows?

I'm sure you could.

I wouldn't want to become
a nun with dirty feet.

What is this?

Does one small child
require all this attention?

Saints preserve us.

Go to your duty, sisters.

This is our Mother Superior,
Sister Mary Brigid.

If you'll please, Your Grace.

Me name is Sheila,
granddaughter of the O'Monahan.

You're Irish, child.

Aye, your grace.

What place?

There's dust from every
county on me boots.

Me grandeur was the park.

No. It couldn't be.

Not the O'Monahan.

The same, sister.
There's only the one.

Glory be.

You knew him?

Did I know him?

He sang once in the
village where I was born.

And afterwards he stopped the
night in my father's house.

I was the proudest
girl in the township.

But now you, child,
Sister Mary Leonard tells me

you want to take the veil.

I do, sister, I do.

I want to denounce the world.

Sure, what does the child of
your age know about the world?

Sure, just heavy on me shoulders.

And I want no part of it.

It's nothing but a great ball
of meanness and lies and

and it's no use to lay
the sacrifice any longer.

Cut me hair and I'm done with it.

Why, you poor, sweet darling, you.

What is it that's troubling you?

What's the use of living
if there's no little folks

to help you get to heaven?

Little folks?

The wee ones, the fairies.

Oh, yes, the fairies, of course.

God will love ya.

And who are the
villains that deny them?

Me guardians.

They said that they
believed and they didn't.

They lied and they cheated.
Now I don't believe.

I don't believe in them.
I don't believe in the wee ones.

I don't believe in anything.

I wanna die. I wanna die.

- What time is it?
- It's ten minutes to 10:00.

And in five minutes,
it'll be five minutes to 10:00.

In five minutes more,
it'll be 10 o'clock.

Now if you asked me
that question once more

I'm going to jam this watch
right down your throat.

Well, I can't help it.

- I'm worried.
- Hah, you're worried?

If it hadn't been for you
and your midget flea circus

we never'd have lost the girl
in the first place.

Sure, blame me, blame me

every time anything
happens around here

you make me the goat.

Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap.

For 40 years, I've been
listening to your yapping

and we're getting tired of it.

I'm getting tired of you too.

Alright, I'll leave
this house tomorrow.

- And for good.
- I'll help you pack.

I can't wait to get
your room fumigated.

I'll now speak to your
masters, if you please.

Sister Mary Bridget
from St. Mary's.

I'm afraid they can't be disturbed.

They can't, can't they?

Well, we'll see about that.

Yes, sister.

I've come for the little girl's
clothes.

You found her?

She found us, the poor little tyke.

Thank heaven she's safe.

Won't you sit down, please, sister?

Well, I didn't come here to sit down.

You know, it's not right
for that poor child

to be in an orphanage.

Now, sister, you have a lot
of influence in this town.

Won't you intercede for us
and help us get her back?

Intercede is it?

I'll do everything
in me power to see that

you don't get her back.

I just talked to Judge Watson.

She's going to a fine Catholic
boarding school upstate.

I'm taking her meself tomorrow.

Get her clothes, man.

Just what she come in,
she wants nothing else.

Go help him, sister.

And now while I'm waiting

I'll have a few words
with you gentlemen.

The three biggest men
in town, so they say

but from what you've
done to that poor child

I'd say you're three black sinners.

- But, sister...
- Don't "but sister" me.

I know all about it,
the whole vile rotten story.

It was wrong, but we see that now.

You can't see anything.

You're as blind as three moles
feeding on the roots of a

lovely flower, destroying her
beauty without ever

knowing it exists.

'Sister, please.'

What do you know about
the mind of a child?

Why it was like throwing a
fledgling out of the nest

denying her theories
and calling them superstition

which will also be denying Santa Claus

Easter Bunny and the Stork.

Well, you might as well
because they're all

part of God's glorious kindergarten.

And you, in your great wisdom,
took everything away

from her that she believed in.

And now she wants to die.

Oh, no, no, sister,
what can we do to help her?

The only thing I know
is to save that tree.

The tree, but that's
impossible, our hands are tied.

We love her, really we do.

Love? I wouldn't black me
boots with such love.

If you have one drop of red blood

in your veins, you find a way.

We can't save the tree,
that just can't be done.

Can't be done.
Can't be done.

Offer shame. Shame on you.

Why, if it were me,
I'd build a fence 50 feet high

around that tree.

I'd post guards with muskets
and shoot the first man

that dare touch a leaf on it.

And if that wouldn't do,
I'd nail meself to the trunk

and let him cut me down with it.

Ha, but you won't do anything
because you haven't got it.

Because you haven't got the guts.

Come, sister.

- Okay.
- 'Go.'

Come on, men, you're not
paid for standing around.

Get back to work, get on it.

Well, blow me down. What's going
on here? What's the idea?

You are not cutting down this tree.

Oh, but we gotta cut it down.

It's right in the
middle of the property.

Now be a good boy and go
play someplace else.

You are not cutting down this tree.

Johnson.

Come, come, Johnson,
what's holding things up here?

Why, doctor, what on
earth is the matter?

Who did this to you?

Hah, he's done it to himself.

To himself? What for?

You are not cutting down this tree.

That's all I can get out of him.

Now, look, doctor, you're
making a fool of yourself.

People will think you're crazy.
It'll ruin you. Come now.

Open that padlock.
Where's the key?

I gave it to a gopher.

You can't say something else.

This property belongs
to the university.

I'll call the police.

Call the police.

I'm staying here till doomsday.

But you'll starve to death.

Tell the cops to bring me a sandwich.

Come on. Come on, boys,
back to work, everybody.

Virgin Mary, he's gotten
astray in his mind.

It's a trick.
Admit it's a trick.

Praise be to heaven,
she's safe in the nunnery.

You can hurt her no more.

I don't wanna hurt her.

I've hurt her enough.

I'm just trying to save her tree.

You believe?

Would I've had myself
chained to this tree

risking my reputation if I didn't?

Can you look me straight in the eye

and say you believe in fairies?

Now can you, man, can you?

No, O'Davern, I can't.

Ha, another deception.

Yes, a deception.

Don't you see, I'm trying to

give that child back her faith?

So stay here and help me, O'Davern.

Help me convince her.

She's coming here?

I sent Corby with a note

saying I was saving her tree.

And you think he can fetch her
after all you've done to her?

Oh-ho, you don't hold the O'Monahan's.

- She won't come?
- Never step.

Well, that, O'Davern,
you've got to go and get her.

Go and bring her here
before they take her

out of town, please now.

They'll have you cut loose
from the tree

before I can get to the convent.

Oh, I'll hold the fort.

Go on, go on, and hurry.
Hurry, O'Davern.

That's it, doctor, that's it.

Now mind your battlements,
and pull up your drawbridge.

I'll fetch her.

Make room, please, people.
Stand back, will you, please?

Well, good morning, doctor.

Always said you'll wind up
in chains someday.

Doctor, unless you give us the key

we'll have to cut you loose.

Now where's that key?

Ask the gopher.

- You see.
- What's the idea now?

Come on, what have you
got up your sleeve?

You wouldn't understand,
you potbellied pencil pusher.

Why can't we cut the tree down?

Yes, just give us your reason,
doctor, just one of the reason.

Because I say so.

That's what,
why, doctor? Why? Why?

Yes, why? Why?

Because it's the home of the fairies.

Fairies?

You really believe that,
Gaunght, fairies?

The tree's full of 'em.

Where? I don't see anything.

Well, I don't see 'em either,
but they're there.

Oh, cut him loose.

Yes, sir, on it.

Keep it up, Gaunght, keep it up.

If it's publicity you're after,
boy, you're gonna get it.

Come on, doc, come on.
You be a nice boy.

You give me the key to that padlock

and I'll let you wear
this nice, shiny bag.

One side, please.

One side, please.

I hate to see this,
judge, I really do.

But I believe he's insane.

Hold these people back, chief.
I'll take care of this.

Yes, and now stand back, folks,
come on, now stand back.

You're gonna start in on me

you old buzzard,
well, save your breath.

You wouldn't believe
in fairies if they showed you

their birth certificate.

What you're doing, Rich,
is a wonderful thing

but it won't save the tree.

Hmm, I know that.

What's the good of it then?

Well, at least it will
restore her belief in..

If not in fairies,
at least human being.

But she's gone, hasn't she?

I sent O'Davern for her.

And if he brings her,
she'll realize that at least

one of us hasn't let her down.

You mean no one here
believes in fairies but you?

None of these good people?

Oh, Jimmy, I love you,
but you're a blithering idiot.

They're going to plow this tree under.

So? Then they're gonna
plow us under together.

Sheila!

Sheila! Sheila!

Stop, sister, stop. It is
O'Davern, me man servant.

Wait, Mr. Harper.
Slow down. Slow down.

Now clear it. Go on, you.

Get off. The doctor
is saving the tree.

He's chained himself to it.

Giddy up.

Glory be, glory be.

Right here, boys.
Now come on.

Get it fast while they move away.

Holy mackerel, you too, judge?

Don't tell me you believe in fairies.

Your skepticism does you
little justice, Badger.

The manifestations of the
supernatural have been known

throughout the ages.

Hallelujah.

Ah, you're daffy,
there's no fairies here.

Look out, you're stepping on one.

Now tell us more about
the fairies, judge

what do they eat?

Honey. Honey and garlic.

Put that down, Mitch.

Yeah, and what do they drink?

Grasshopper's milk and sap, you sap.

Okay, get it, Charlie.

Whoa there. Hold up, hold up,
somebody grab them.

Come on, me lady, come on.

There now. Here we go.
Here we go.

Let me through there.
Let me through.

Oh, please, please, you'll have to.

Let me through there now.

The judge too.

- Here we go.
- Um-hmm. Hmm.

Hello, you cute little creatures.

Oh, look, doctor, there's a new group

a whole procession of the
marching down this limb

with a band play.

Can't you hear them?

Hear 'em as well if you can.

And look, doctor, look.
Look at that little pink one.

And that little yellow fellow.

You mean yellow?
He's got jaundice.

They see them, and I can't.

Ah, but you will, me lady, you will.

Oho, doctor, look, this bunch.

They're having breakfast,
eating oatmeal.

Oh, that isn't oatmeal, that's mush.

Excuse me, excuse me, please.

Oh, the dear men, the dear
good men. God shine on them.

Do they believe, sister,
do they really believe?

They do indeed, child.

Put me down. Put me down.

It's true, I know you'd believe.

Nice red pony.

Excuse me. Excuse me, please.

Walking out on them, are you, huh?

Oh, go away from me,
O'Davern, I'm sick.

You'll be sicker when
I'm through with you.

Defend yourself, me lad.

Get out of my way, you insect.

Insect, is it?
I'm a bull, fiercest.

I'm oxen, straight.

Come on, there.

Oh, alright, O'Davern,
if you're looking for...

Alright, stay calm.
Let's get them out of here.

Alright, Johnson, go ahead.

- Stand back.
- Come on, boys.

Let's start right over there.

Come on, folks, come on,
stand back, stand back.

Stop, stop, stop! Please, don't
cut it down, please, don't.

Please. Take me away.
Take me away from here.

Get on, with her, boys,
we can't wait here all night.

Hold it, hold it.
Hold it, don't cut it down.

It's all fixed, the tree concern.

Look, look.
A check for a million dollars.

Boy, heaven.

A million dollars, look, look.

If we'll make it into a park he said

then the tree can stand forever.

Stop, wait a minute,
O'Davern, my foot slipped.

Well, it's your nose will slip
this time, right off your face.

O'Davern!
O'Davern, stop.

Mr. Findley, just gave his
last million dollars

to save the tree.

Him? Did you?

Get off, get off my stomach.

- Did you?
- Yes, I did.

Get off my stomach.

Oh, Lord, master, here.

Your forgiveness, master,
your forgiveness.

Ted.

Ted.

Oh, Ted.

Was there ever such happiness?

And we have the
fairies to thank for it

the glorious little creatures.

If only I could see them like you did.

Let me down, please.

I see them, the fairies,
they're there.

- But I don't see anything.
- Shh!

You do see them, don't you?

Yes, darling. We see them.

Right in the middle of Findley park.

I see her, I see her!

Yes, the little Irish girl.

But I don't see the three old men.

Me neither, but there's
a little Irish girl.

Ancient One, why can't
I see the three old men?

Well, they can't see you either.

You see, Willy,
the little girl's only seven.

And the three old men,
poor souls, have reached

the age of reason.

Anyway, I win the golden acorns.

I'll never and ever as long as I live

disbelieve in the humans again.

Now run along, children, run along.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

God sit on your pillow.