This Little Piggy (2017) - full transcript

This little piggy went to
market,

this little piggy stayed home,

this little piggy had roast
beef,

this little piggy had none.

And this little piggy went wee
wee wee wee wee wee wee wee.

So um, my dad showed me this
one,

- it's like um..
- He saw another one?

Yeah. It's like this dog,

and they've just dubbed it.

What, like on the road?

Oh nah nah nah, it's just
like just sitting in this house,



and this dog just talking.

But it's this like
this owner teasing the dog,

it's really awful, but funny.

Is that the one where he...
he's like talking about bacon?

Yes, exactly.

This little piggy went to
market.

♪♪

And when he got to the market

he played with all
his little piggy friends.

They played and played
and had lots of fun.

Until they felt
a grumbling in their bellies,

they were hungry.

Let's get some food they
thought.

At the market they looked for the tastiest food they could find.



Hi, how are you?

Oi! Oi! Oi!

♪♪

One little piggy snorted oink oink at the other little piggies,

and they all snorted
oink oink back.

He got all his delicious food,

packed it up
in his little piggy bag,

and headed
for his little piggy home.

Oi,

we've still got
oranges and bananas.

Fantastic, so now we
can't go back there either,

our shopping options
are becoming very limited.

You are such a sooky la la.

Cone?

Sure.

- Hazah!
- Hazah, get in.

♪♪

♪♪

- Doug.
- Ely.

Where are
those property reports.

I'm working on them right now.

This is not bloody uni mate,

a deadline is a deadline.

I apologize.

Don't apologize, just do the
work.

Wanker.

♪♪

Where's the report?

Where is it? It's late.

Um.

Not good enough.

- I'm sorry I-
- I don't want to hear it.

- That was terrible.
- What do you mean?

That was probably
the worst one that you've done.

I don-
I think that was pretty good.

- Yeah?
- Yeah

Your hands.

What do I do with my hands?

See your hair?
Over the ear like that?

♪♪

♪♪

Jesus louisus, yeah!

Hm.

Hey remember, we've got a date.

Oh yeah, shit.

And so this other guy jumps in,

and um,

and then he gets glassed
in the back with a bottle.

What like he,
he broke the bottle and then stabbed him in the back?

Yeah he gets stabbed
right in the back,

and then this guy's walking
around with blood just

- coming out everywhere.
- Are you serious?

He just stabbed him in the back?

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Come on up.
- Hoh hoh hoh.

- Don't mind if I do.
- Thanks man.

Yeah, and he's just
got blood gushing out.

Did he die?

Well, you don't know.

And so you said
that there was a pimp?

Yeah

How did you know he was a pimp?

Ahh you can, you can just tell.

It's the way
he's talking to the woman.

- Ah yeah.
- Where he's like, you owe me,

- you owe me.
- And was like the girl like, like.

- Oh yeah, really stand-offish.
- Yeah yeah yeah.

And she had like a whole
bunch of friends around her,

who were kind of like
"“Get off her of her"” you know?

- Really?
- Yeah.

And then this guy just
walks up and steps in.

- Mmm.
- Bit of a hero, saves the day,

and um, you know,

- Pretty good.
- That's payment.

But he got stabbed in the back?

- Pretty rough hey?
- That's terrible.

Yeah yeah so I tested
them both obviously,

but um, and I would say the
BMW has the better suspension,

you're right, but, the Lotus,

is just that bit faster.

Faster and like smoother
as well, it's it's sexy,

yeah it's a sexy ride.
Yeah.

Yeah so I'm going
to go the Lotus obviously.

Yeah.
Yep, yeah yeah.

Alright man look I've got to go,
I've got to go,

but I'll call you back okay?
Yep.

Yeah we'll catch up soon,
you're right mate, take care.

Alright, bye buddy, bye.

Boys, good to see you.

Ely, good to see you mate,
good to see you.

- Simon, my man.
- My man.

Ha ha looking sharp, looking
sharp.

That shirt,
that shirt is amazing.

What colour is it?
What colour is that shirt? It's like a, like a,

like I'm thinking purple,
but it's not quite purple,

I'm thinking maybe like a
moave..

Lilac? Lilac.
Surely it's a lilac. Lilac.

Yeah yeah yeah,
and the pattern, and this like

this beautiful
paisley sort of pattern..

And it. I mean that that,

ahh that collar, the collar and
the way it sits

with your shoulder
is just exceptional.

Is it tailor made?
It looks like it's tailor made.

I think it is. That's really
lovely, really lovely.

You Thank you,
that's a beautiful compliment,

coming from a beautiful man.

You've got a new haircut right?

An-and this,

the pattern there is,
really astounding,

- and this, black on black.
- Yeah.

A skinny tie...

for a skinny man!

Have you lost like 10 kilos?

Yes, I've been hitting
the gym like every day,

it's brilliant,
just pounding out the laps!

- You're looking sensational,
- Thanks man.

And, have you gained a little
bit of muscle mass there?

Well, that's for you to feel.

- Can I have a little-
- Yeah yeah, have a feel.

- Oh yes!
- Yeah yeah.

- Tight.
- Tight! Yeah!

So um,

can we grab
the two quarts, please?

Well obviously! Obviously!

I mean that's why
you're here, isn't it?

Absolutely! Absolutely! But,

I was thinking, today,

I thought you might like to try something a little bit different,

something a little bit special.

Gentlemen,

I would like to introduce you,

to my good friend,

Charlie Catherine.

You really want to try some
now don't you?

Not really.

Have you got keys?

Mmm. Yeah.

You dork.

G'day girls.

Oh ahh Jaqueline!

You naughty naughty girl huh

No one, not even a soul,
not even one.

We just got to change
our demographic I reckon,

somebodies got to want it,
I want it, in fact I want some now.

Yes.
I can start powerwalking.

- Did you have fun at the park?
- Yeah.

Yeah?
Well we'll do it again alright,

next time I come round.

You were supposed
to be back at 4.

Well, look, it's okay we were
just-

You just what David?

Jaquie just wanted
some ice-cream okay so were-

If you've got all this money
for fucking ice-cream,

where's money you owe me David?

Hey, don't swear in front of
her.

I'll do what I want with
my fucking child okay?

You are no longer a fucking parent if you don't fucking contribute.

You're not going to be
seeing her again until I get

my child support, okay?

I've been raising her by myself.

I have been raising her by
myself!

Everything alright?

Hey Dave,
ya poofter, how ya going?

Hey Mike.

- Big night last night eh?
- Yeah mate, huge.

Hiding out from mum I see huh?

Well, I wasn't going home to her
in the state I was in, was I?

Maggoted.

- Best be off.
- Yeah.

- Dave! Ohh Dave-o!
- Piss off!

Thanks for letting
us stay Kirst.

Say hi to your mum for me darl.

I want Daddy! No, I want
to stay with Daddy!

Hey it's okay darling, it's
alright.

This little piggy stayed home.

So just the usual then?

Yeah sorry man.

Yeah just the usual.

Yeah.

Got my money here.

This little piggy was waiting
for his little friends

to come round to visit him.

You want a cone for the road?

He got real comfortable and lit
a fire so he was nice and cosy.

All the other little piggys
really liked him

because he shared
all his stuff with them.

Hey, you wouldn't be interested
in buying something stronger?

Nah man.

Nah I'm good man,
thank you very much.

A good days work.

We are making hardly any money,

I make more money at work,

and all our fucking
profits go up in smoke.

Hey, that's exactly how it
should be my friend, good times.

Yeah?

Who is it?

It's Dave.

Dave, Dave will know
someone for sure.

Come on in mate.

How are you Dave?

Oh yeah.

Look guys ah,
I'm sorry man but,

I can't buy my usual this week.

We had some stuff
put aside for you?

Ah shit man, what's up?

It's, it's just my ex you know?

Like...

I give her all that I can right.

And still she just wants more
and more and more and,

it's just never fucking enough
man.

And like, I hardly see
my daughter as it is right,

and now she's threatening to
take her away from me entirely.

I just ah,

I don't know
what the fuck to do man.

Fuck me.

- Sorry to hear that, man.
- Yeah.

Hey,

take the bag,
get your mind off it,

pay us when you can.

Nah it's okay Si,

- I can't man-
- Just take it.

- Si-
- It's on the house.

He said he didn't want
it mate so its..

- I, I can't.
- It's yours.

Hope you feel better.

You're a fucking legend man.

You both are.

Cheers boys.

Hey Dave-o,

you wouldn't know anyone who'd
want to buy some coke would you?

Selling to kids man,
this is not a good idea.

Relax man.

We're just, having a casual
conversation, with a few friends

who happen to be in their
final year of high school.

This could be really
easy if we let it be.

This is such
a fucking dumb idea.

What were you thinking meeting
him outside his fucking school?

Relax.

Oi, here he comes.

Hey Mike.

How ya going?

Yeah alright.
Mike, this is Simon.

Hey mate, nice to meet ya.

This is Ely.

Buddy.

So ah, let's go inside.

Hey, it's just a conversation.

You boys got the gear, or?

Well we didn't bring
it here did we mate?

First we've got to sort out
some kind of arrangement.

What kind of arrangement?

We're selling at $280 a gram.

$280 seems pretty steep.

That's standard market value,
mate.

How munted would a gram get you?

You wouldn't be able
to handle half in one night.

True ey?

Half gram each.

We'll take 4 grams for tonight.

- Mm hm.
- Tonight?

Yeah mate tonight.
It's a big uni party.

We can't we don't-

We'll see what we can do.

That should be fine.

Soo.. Where's the party at?

How do you know
this is going to work?

Just a little bit of faith
please.

You don't fucking know, do you?

You don't fuckin know,
we're going to lose all

- of our fucking money because-
- Here you are boys.

Exactly what you asked for.

Can I give you
a little bit of advice son?

If you boys want to make
some serious cash-o-la here,

the key is you've got to mix
your product with something else

Ah flour, caster sugar,

better yet, bi-carb soda gives
you that real

kick.

Boom! Yeah.

Makes it feel really authentic.

Get out there and have some fun.

- Hey fellas.
- Alright boys, how we going?

Good

You ah, you bring the gear?

Yeah, you guys
want to find a room?

Yeah sweet.
Let's go boys.

- I don't think you should.
- It's sweet babe don't worry.

I don't want you to. Michael!

It's alright, I'll see you soon.

Cheers for this fellas.

My boy couldn't get any, so you
know, you're doing us a favour.

You fellas want a beer?

Yeah. That'd be great.

Cool.

Cheers boys.

So ah, how much
we looking at again?

Well for the 4 grams
you'll be able to get-

- $280 per gram, 4 grams right?
- Yeah 4.

$1120

Alright boys,

have a great night.

Thanks for that.

Oi Mike.
You want to try that brother?

Yeah, you fellas don't mind
if we sample it first do ya?

Not at all.

May I?

Hey ah?

Yeah?

Thanks mate.

Bit of a burn to it.

Yeah, a little burn.

Then your nose
will start to feel numb.

That's how you
know it's good shit.

Alright, thanks boys.

See ya boys.

You are good,
I'll give you that.

Mate, if this continues.

You are going to make
some real fucking money

for the first time in your life.

Hey.

Here's the $800 I owe you.

Treat yourself.

Care for a pure one?

Yeah!

- Hazzah!
- Hazzah!

Poke

Who are you?

Um, my name is Tessa.

- And you are?
- I'm Simon.

Nice to meet you Simon.

- Are you having a good night?
- Yeah.

I'm having a gas!

Yeah you look pretty happy.

So, you want to, have another
one?

Really?

- Yeah, see what happens.
- Sure

- Different nostril this time.
- Alright.

- Yeah.
- Okay, let's go left.

I am so pleased
you had another one.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Do you notice the lack of meat?

I do notice.
Man after my own heart.

Oi fuck head.

Made you breakfast too.

So that did happen last night?

Yup.

How are you?

I'm okay.

You look great.

I feel like every joint
in my body has been fucked.

Yeah you danced pretty hard.

Where the fucks the bacon?

- I'll get that one.
- Thank you.

You cheeky monkey.

Boys, I'm not sure if any
of you have seen it,

but I lost my shit
at that party last night.

I was just wondering
if anyone had it.

That fucking couch hey.

You're all fucking pathetic.

Alright then, pathetic or not,

I still think night like that
is in order again soon eh.

My friends,
do not worry, for a,

now on supply
will not be a problem.

- Fucking good shit.
- Yeah.

- Oh my God, you suck.
- So good.

Hey. It's all right.

Just breathe.

You are a real bastard,
you know that?

Breathe.

You know, if you breathe deeply,
you can release endorphins.

- Is that right?
- Yeah.

Happy chemicals.
It can even stimulate desire.

Oh really? Mm hm.

- Yeah.
- Mm.

- Romantic huh?
- No.

Just sounds a bit sexual.

That is a big tasty line.

Ah!

Go, you go. Ah.

Yes?

How does that feel?

- I am ready.
- You ready?

What? Ready for what?

Where are you going?

Ah. Family dinner.

Family din-Aw come on!
Fuck family man.

Fuck family, I'm your family,
don't leave me here.

- Hey, this is my mumma.
- And fuck your mumma.

Fuck your mumma. I mean,
I already did fuck your mumma,

but fuck her again. What?

Mm-wah.

Come on man.

This little piggy had roast
beef,

and he ate and ate with
all of his little friends.

China's on the rise,
and, America is being

as pig-headed as ever, then
we're basically headed towards

World War III,
which is really terrifying.

- That is such bullshit Luc.
- Simon.

Sorry mum.

But, there's not gonna
be a World War III.

I got faith in the people
of the world, even you Luc.

Shut up Simon you have no idea
what you're talking about ever.

Where's your qualification huh?
What do you do all day?

I've got a masters in fuck you.

Simon, you really
should go back to uni.

What do you think Tessa?

Oh, I don't really know.

Is there something wrong, love?

I'm a vegetarian,.

I'm not sure if Simon
mentioned it, but-

No sorry love,
Simon didn't tell me.

Oh no, it's fine I can
just pick around it, I'm...

Thank you.

My bad.

So mum,
Tessa's studying law at uni.

Law? La de da.

Do you reckon
you'll make a good lawyer?

Well yeah.

I've never really
understood the law.

I mean if everybody just
used their common sense

we wouldn't need any of it,
would we?

Well I think law is
critical to any society.

I mean without it
we'd just descend into anarchy,

it'd be dog eat dog.

I agree that the over
litigation of trivial matters

and the willingness of people
to just wrought the system

is crippling it, but.

I mean what's the difference
between a ridiculous court case

and a reasonable one?

It's a thin line.

Very fascinating,
I think it's complex.

Well, we're all entitled
to our own opinion aren't we?

Ahh! Ahhaha yeah!

Oh, let it, let it just
get in there and enjoy.

You boys are making it work.
I respect that, I feel that.

Oh yeah we're making it work.

And Davey boy, oh Davey,

Davey boy you are the one
that's making it happen,

and I love that.

- On ya Dave-o.
- That's amazing.

Si, Si can I have the keys?

Nah nah man, I promised
I'd be ah driving Dave-o home.

Yeah but I need the keys
to drive to work.

Well, you should've
thought of that before.

That is true. That is true.

Get on the bus.

Yes, get on the bus!

Get the bus, that's a good boy.

Ohh where you going?
Where you going?

W-w-w-woah where you going man?

Ohh ma ma, mummy,

ma ma ma ma ma,
ma ma ma ma ma.

Oh bye bye.
Ohhh!

You get on that bus, you get
on that bus and you ride away.

See ya mother fucker!

Work? What is this work
bullshit?

This is where the real money is,
doesn't he know?

This shit here is as rare
as an arsehole on a face.

Well, I don't think
he appreciates that.

He needs to get a bit more crazy
before he can be getting wise.

You know what I'm talking about?

- Mmm.
- Yeah?

Like you my boy, Davey.

Nah
I'm good Eric, thanks.

No you're not,
I can see it in your eyes.

Seriously, I'm okay, I'm good.

You're entitled
to your fair share.

Thanks, Si.

Plus a bit extra
this time round.

Cheers mate.

Don't tell Ely.

No worries man.

♪♪

Baywater Drive, ahh,
I um, forgot

to um, grab the keys.

I'm on my way
to come fix it up for you.

Yeah not a problem. I'll be on
my mobile, you have that number,

I'll see you very soon, and
again apologies for the mistake.

Hey Mike.

Wahh! Hey mate.

So um, we all good?

Uh huh.

♪♪

- See ya later, Chantelle.
- Fuck off.

I thought I told you Dave.

- Jaqueline!
- Daddy?

I'll be keeping her
the next few days. Ahh.

- Daddy.
- G'day beautiful.

Hey, go and get your school bag
and clothes for the week.

Alright?
And get all your school stuff?

- Okay.
- Alright, go on.

Where did you get it?

That's none of your business.

Oh!

Oh so lazy Dave finally
got a job. Did he?

Well that'll take
some getting used to.

If you want to keep seeing
this kind of money,

you better change your attitude.

Come on Dad, lets go, bye mum!

- Bye baby.
- Hey, do you like farm animals?

- Yeah
- Yeah? What's your favourite?

- Piggy.
- Piggy?

Well guess what we're
going to do today huh?

Come on.

Jaqueline.

Come here please.

Sit down.

I want to watch TV.

What's the matter?

- Jaque...
- Come on. Come on Dad.

Your mum and I aren't going
to be living together any more.

But we both still love you.

Are you okay darling?

Jaque?

No, I don't want it.

No

It's okay beautiful.

Dad, come have a look at this.

No, why, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it mum.

It is me. Isn't it?

Dad, it is me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

Hey beautiful,
look you're tired huh?

Hey hey, how about
I tell you a story huh?

Right, come on! Hop on Daddy's
back.

Now this story,
is about little piggies.

You like little piggies.
Don't ya?

- Yeah I like little piggies.
- Yeah you do.

- Doug.
- Ely.

- How are you?
- Good.

Hard at work?

Yeah um....

A lot of reports to get through.

Oh really? Hm,

and ah, they still haven't
found their way to my desk.

What's going on, Ely?

- I'm sorry it's-
- do you know what?

I'm sick of hearing
you say that word, sorry.

Because it doesn't
cut it any more, Ely.

This is a professional business.

And since I've hired you you've
shown nothing but amateur skills

there is no room for ineffectual

deadbeat morons in this place.

Is that clear? Is it clear?

- Is that clear?
- Yes.

Is there anything going on
behind those eyes of yours Ely,

because if you do not get this
work done by 5 o'clock today

you can clear your desk
and get out. Is, that, clear?

- Yes.
- Good.

- Hey mate.
- Hey boss, how are ya?

Good. What're you doing?

Secret stash.

Too much money to keep on me.

Jesus!

You must be making
more money than I am.

Yeah.

I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.

Go for it

Why don't you,

leave your job,
come work with me.

Expand the business.

You know, this is temporary.

There's no future in this mate.

Well, I can't keep cutting you
in.

I'm sorry but,

you haven't been doing
anything,.

Dave's been doing heaps,
he doesn't even expect anything,

I think I've got to pay him.

Sorry, but it kind of sounds
like you're asking me

to choose between
my job and selling drugs.

Yeah

I choose my job.

Fine.

Dave will help
me out from now on.

Yeah, great.

No hard feelings.

No. No.

- I bought you something
- Oh yeah?

- Wow.
- Yeah.

That is something.

Uh huh.

- Silver huh?
- Yeah.

I bought you that
so I could show you

how much I care about you.

And...

I love you.

Thank you Simon

. Come here, thank you.

Thank you.

I love you.

I bought that so I could show
you how much I care about you.

I love you.

Dirty fucking Dave, how
are you mate? Aw hey buddy.

How are ya...

Oi, don't you fucking touch him!

- Ay! Oi Ay! Oi, man
- Fuck off!

It's alright,
chill out dude it's alright.

It's alright, look,

- Dave I'm sorry.
- It's alright mate.

Dave I'm sorry.
I was out of line alright?

You fucking better.

We're all sweet okay.
We've got the money.

- You got the gear?
- Yeah mate.

We're alright.

- There you are.
- Thanks mate.

Hey man.

Hey, you want
to share a cone with me?

Nah I'm alright man.
Pretty tired.

- Work eh?
- Yeah.

David, I wasn't expecting you.

Yeah, um...

I, I wanted to speak
to you about Jaque.

Well I want
to see her some more.

Tough shit David you know
what the courts said.

Come on Kirst, this is no way
to be raising a kid.

We've got to show
her how to act.

Set an example, you know?

Oh, so now you want
to play happy family?

David, I'm up
to my arse in bills.

Bills, bills for her school,

and her dance lessons
and and bills for, bills for...

Look, okay?

Money shouldn't
be a problem any more.

Oh how can I trust
you when you say that?

I don't even know where you
work.

Okay, how do I know
you're not going to fuck me

over again David,
you've done it before.

We've fucked
each other over Kirst,

A lot.

Oh, was that a smile?

No.

Praise the lord Kirsty
can smile again!

Oh, oh thank you Jesus,
and thank you Buddha and...

and praise Allah,

- and who's the other one?
- I don't know.

You're fucking beautiful
when you smile, Kirst.

I do?

What are you guys doing?

Come here honey,
say hi to Daddy.

Hey there.

- Everything alright?
- Yeah.

She just wanted to hear the piggy story I've been telling her,

she loves it.

It was nice just to be able
to sit here a while.

What piggy story?

- Come on, you know the one.
- No?

Alright then. Come here.

What?

This little piggy
went to market.

Ahh okay.

- This little piggy stayed home.
- Yeah, okay I got it Dave.

And this little piggy
had roast beef.

Okay.

And this little piggy had none.

Okay. Stop it now.

And this little piggy
went we we we we we we.

Stop it. Stop!

Daddy!

- Very tired, ay sweetie?
- Yeah.

Come on, lets get you into bed.

Feet tucked in.

Your tummy is so yummy!
Yum yum yum yum yum.

Goodnight sweetie.

- Daddy?
- Yeah.

Well

. Well, why do you
and mum always have to fight?

It doesn't make me happy,

and I know it doesn't
make you happy.

I know sweetie.

I don't know why we do.

But hey, mummy
and daddy love you. Okay?

And we'll always love you.

Remember that.

Can you please stay?
Just please?

Look I'll tell you what,

we'll ask your mummy,
and if she says yes,

well then okay. Alright?

- Okay. I love you daddy.
- I love you too sweetie.

♪♪

It's A, it's A you idiot.

♪♪

Ah $2.50 on banana,

$2.50 on banana.
$2.50 on banana,

$2.50 on banana.

Look at that, pretty colourful.

Daddy daddy,
can we please get this?

Um look I'm, I'm sorry darling,

I can't get it for you this
week,

I'll get it for you
next week. Okay?

- Noo.
- Nah come on Jaque, come on.

- Hey.
- Hey babe, how you doing?

- How was class?
- Yeah fine.

Fine fine. Busy.

How you going? You high?

- Yeah.
- Can I have some?

Yeah.

Hey Si, can I borrow some money?

Sure

Thanks.

So what time do you finish?

Ah fuck,
I forgot to tell you didn't I?

I've got an assignment
that I really have to

finish off tonight so I won't
be able to make it to dinner.

Oh, okay.

Mum will be disappointed.

Yeah I'm sure she will.

I love you.

- You are beautiful.
- Thank you

I've never met anyone that
looks so good in the morning.

Mm,
I really don't look that great.

You're right, you don't.

Horrible.

What are you up to today?

Nothing much.

I thought I could spend
it with you, in bed?

Actually, I have a stack
of uni work I have to do today.

You work so hard.

Yep.

Alright. Yep.

I've got to go have a shower.

Come on.

- Aww stay in bed.
- Simon, stop it, get up.

Some of us have to work.

What are you doing here, Tessa?

What do you mean?

Don't you have any interest
in responding to me

like a human being?

Simon what are you talking
about?

How can you deny this?

No, I haven't finished speaking.

I tried to rationalize
your behaviour,

but it isn't rational,
it's highly irrational.

Okay, seriously Simon. Can we
do this another time please?

We have a connection,
you know that.

I'm telling you this
because I love you.

I know, I know,
I can wait for you,

as long as it takes.

Okay?

Okay.

Shower.

- Hey.
- Hey.

This little piggy had none.

He sat at home while
all the other little piggies ate

and got fatter and fatter.

He had nothing to eat
and no one to talk to.

All he wanted was a friend.

- Tess. Hey.
- Hey.

Umm, is Simon home?

Nah he's not here.

Hey are you alright?

Not really.

Well come on in.

You know I'm just going
to give him the money and go.

That'll be it from me.
I'll be gone.

If it's any consolation,

I can understand
how you're feeling.

He's been, uh...

pretty intense.

Yeah you got that right.

Look, I can give
that to him if you like.

I know where his stash is.

Holy shit.

I had no idea about this.

- Really?
- I had no idea about this.

Holy shit Simon, um well,

this isn't going to make
much of a difference, but...

Should I just put it on top?

Maybe I should leave it in an envelope on the bench or something?

Is he going to see it?

Tessa.

Okay yeah, stop fussing.

You're a good person
for doing this.

Okay?

Now before we do, would like
to put any love hearts on top?

Don't. Put it in.

Would you like
to put a monobrow in?

- Shut up. Put it in.
- Are you sure?

- Yes, I'm very sure.
- I want to make sure he knows it's from you.

Enough, Ely.

Thank you, that's that done.

Okay, lucky,

cos this has a trap door on it
that closes after a little bit.

- ARGH!
- Holy fuck.

- I'm going to fucking kill
you I swear. - Woah.

- Don't, my nerves are frayed.
- It nearly got me.

- Okay, let's go.
- Did you see that?

- Yeah, I did.
- Come on, lets go.

Where are we going?

You're a dickhead,
you know that?

Hey you.

So, just calling to see
how your assignments going?

And um, wanted to let you know
that I can bring you anything,

if you want? And um,

I've been thinking
about you all day.

I'm missing you.

I love you.

Was Tessa hear last night?

Ah no.

Who wrote this?

Oh yeah, she did.

She just came by to drop off
some cash and then she left.

Ahh, what's happened?

Don't worry about it, mate.

What is it?

My girlfriend broke up with me.

What other info do you want?

Sorry.

Did she say why?

No, I have no idea.

Okay.

What did she say to you?

Nothing.

She just dropped the cash off,
and then, and then she left.

That's all?

Why would I lie?

Did you fuck her?

No, Simo you n no.

Did you fuck my girlfriend?

You cunt.

You did, didn't you?

Oh get fucked, Simon.

You can't blame every
girl dumping you on me.

Take a look at yourself mate.

You're a fucking mess.

Cheers mate.

It's like, there's only
so much you can do, like..

And then just to be honest like.

There are people
there like, you know,

it's just rough and tumble
though, it's rough and tumble.

- Fellas.
- Gents. Boys.

Ah do we still get it
from the same guy?

The gear?
Yeah.

Ah yeah, because we were just-

We were thinking.

You reckon it's getting weaker?

Fucking thought that.

Mummy!

- Please!
- No, stop it.

Please.

Jaqueline, you're making
me angry, stop it.

Please...

Help.

I want to see the ducks,
the sheep, the goats-

I think we better
take you home soon.

No daddy.

Silver huh?

Thank you Simon.

Come here, thank you.
Thank you.

You can't blame every
girl dumping you on me.

Have a look at yourself mate,

you're a fucking mess.

Si.

- Are you alright mate?
- Yeah.

Look, I'll,
I'll get you some water alright?

- Oh, yeah.
- Stay there.

Hey, I'm fine.

Chill.

Hey Si, drink this man.

Cheers, cheers.

Dude, you alright?

How much have you been doing?

Si, are you alright?

Whew!

Mmmm.

Hey Si, I've got an idea.

I, I've got an idea.
How about...

I go and do the deal alright,

because you seem
a little bit fried and-

Oh fuck, ow!

Go, go, go!

Fuck!

Si.

Si, wake up man.

Shit.

Mate, mate I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm alright.

What happened to you?
Where's the fucking money?!

I, I think it was Michael.

Michael and his fucking mates.

Give me your keys.

What are you going to do?

Need some help

Tessa, how'd you get here?

I came straight from your work.
Did you get fired?

Yeah.

Oi, fuck head!

- What do you want?
- Where's my fucking money?

Don't know what
you're talking about mate.

Get off him.

- Daddy!
- Hey darling,

Hey.

What happened to your face?

Hey how about I tell
you a story huh?

- Okay.
- Okay, but,

you have to sit,
watch and listen. Okay?

- Okay.
- Alright, come on.

Pop your feet up.

So, this little piggy
went to market.

Oh my god, Michael!

Come on, look at me, far out.

Sorry.

Calm down, calm.
Calm down, calm down.

Simon, calm down.

I bought you that so I could
show you how much

I care about you.

And, I love you.

Simon, Simon!

Simon! Simon!
Simon!

What do you mean?

Simon!

Don't you have
any interest in responding

to me like a human being?

We have a connection,
you know that.

I'm telling you this
because I love you.

You!

You!

You!

I know, I know.

I can wait for you,

as long as it takes.

I'll get it.