This Is Spinal Tap (1984) - full transcript

HELLO. MY NAME IS MARTY DiBERGI.

I'M A FILMMAKER. I MAKE
A LOT OF COMMERCIALS.

THAT LITTLE DOG THAT CHASES THE
COVERED WAGON UNDERNEATH THE SINK?

THAT WAS MINE.

IN 1966,

I WENT DOWN TO GREENWICH
VILLAGE IN NEW YORK CITY...

TO A ROCK CLUB CALLED
THE ELECTRIC BANANA.

DON'T LOOK FOR IT. IT'S
NOT THERE ANYMORE.

BUT THAT NIGHT,
I HEARD A BAND...

THAT, FOR ME, REDEFINED
THE WORD "ROCK 'N' ROLL."

I REMEMBER BEING KNOCKED
OUT BY THEIR... THEIR EXUBERANCE,



THEIR RAW POWER
AND THEIR PUNCTUALITY.

THAT BAND WAS BRITAIN'S
NOW LEGENDARY SPINAL TAP.

SEVENTEEN YEARS AND
FIFTEEN ALBUMS LATER,

SPINAL TAP IS STILL
GOING STRONG,

AND THEY'VE EARNED A
DISTINGUISHED PLACE IN ROCK HISTORY...

AS ONE OF ENGLAND'S
LOUDEST BANDS.

SO IN THE LATE FALL OF 1982,

WHEN I HEARD THAT TAP WAS RELEASING
A NEW ALBUM CALLED SMELL THE GLOVE...

AND WAS PLANNING THEIR FIRST TOUR OF
THE UNITED STATES IN ALMOST SIX YEARS...

TO PROMOTE THAT ALBUM,

NEEDLESS TO SAY, I
JUMPED AT THE CHANCE...

TO MAKE THE DOCUMENTARY...
IF YOU WILL, ROCKUMENTARY...

THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE.

I WANTED TO CAPTURE THE
SIGHTS, THE SOUNDS, THE SMELLS...



OF A HARD-WORKING
ROCK BAND ON THE ROAD.

AND I GOT THAT.

BUT I GOT MORE.

A LOT MORE.

BUT, HEY, ENOUGH OF MY YACKIN'.

WHAT DO YOU SAY? LET'S BOOGIE.

♪♪

GIVES ME A LOT OF
ENERGY. MAKES ME HAPPY.

HEAVY METAL'S DEEP.
YOU GET STUFF OUT OF IT.

THE WAY THEY DRESS, THE LEATHER.

WHICH ONE IS THIS?
IS THIS La GUARDIA?

NO, THIS IS J.F.K.
NEW YORK, NEW YORK.

WATCH HIS MOUTH.
WATCH HIS MOUTH.

IT'S LIKE YOU'D BECOME ONE
WITH THE GUYS IN THE BAND.

YEAH. I MEAN,
THERE'S NO DIVISION.

YOU JUST...

THE MUSIC JUST UNITES
PEOPLE... WITH THE PLAYERS.

COMIN' LIVE, DIRECT
FROM HELL... SPINAL TAP!

♪ YOU'RE HOT YOU
TAKE ALL WE'VE GOT ♪

♪ NOT A DRY SEAT IN THE HOUSE ♪

♪ NEXT DAY WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY ♪

♪ BUT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK
IT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK IT ♪

♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK IT
TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK IT ♪

♪ TONIGHT ♪♪

WE ARE SPINAL TAP FROM THE U.K.!

YOU MUST BE THE U.S.A.!

♪ LITTLE GIRL IT'S A
GREAT BIG WORLD ♪

♪ BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ♪

♪ ME ♪♪

LET'S, UH, TALK A LITTLE ABOUT
THE HISTORY OF THE GROUP.

I UNDERSTAND, NIGEL, YOU AND
DAVID ORIGINALLY STARTED THE BAND,

UH, BACK IN...
WHEN WAS IT, 1964?

BEFORE THAT, WE WERE
IN DIFFERENT GROUPS.

I WAS IN A GROUP CALLED THE
CREATURES, WHICH WAS A SKIFFLE GROUP.

I WAS IN THE LOVELY LADS, AND
THEN WE LOOKED AT EACH OTHER...

AND SAID, "MIGHT AS
WELL JOIN UP, YOU KNOW."

SO, WE BECAME THE
ORIGINALS. RIGHT.

AND, UH, WE HAD TO
CHANGE OUR NAME, ACTUALLY.

THERE WAS ANOTHER GROUP IN
THE EAST END CALLED THE ORIGINALS,

AND WE HAD TO RENAME OURSELVES.

THE NEW ORIGINALS.
YEAH. THE NEW ORIGINALS.

AND THEN THEY
BECAME... THE REGULARS.

THEY CHANGED THEIR NAME
BACK TO THE REGULARS,

AND WE THOUGHT, "WE COULD GO BACK
TO THE ORIGINALS, BUT WHAT'S THE POINT?"

WE BECAME THE THAMES
MEN AT THAT POINT.

♪ STOP WASTIN' MY TIME ♪

♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT ♪

♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED ♪

♪ OR MAYBE YOU DON'T ♪

♪ DO I HAVE TO COME RIGHT FLAT
OUT AND TELL YOU EVERYTHING ♪

♪ GIMME SOME MONEY ♪

♪ GIMME SOME MONEY ♪♪

YOUR FIRST DRUMMER WAS, UH...

THE PEEPER. JOHN "STUMPY" PEEPS.

YEAH. HE WAS GREAT, GREAT.

TALL, BLOND GEEK WITH GLASSES.

GREAT LOOK. YEAH, GOOD
DRUMMER. GOOD DRUMMER.

WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? HE DIED.

HE DIED IN A BIZARRE GARDENING
ACCIDENT SOME YEARS BACK.

IT WAS REALLY ONE
OF THOSE THINGS.

IT WAS, YOU KNOW,
THE AUTHORITIES SAID,

"BEST LEAVE IT, YOU KNOW,
UNSOLVED, REALLY, YOU KNOW."

AND HE WAS REPLACED BY...
STUMPY JOE. ERIC "STUMPY" JOE.

AND WHAT HAPPENED
TO "STUMPY" JOE?

WELL, UH, IT'S NOT A
VERY PLEASANT STORY.

BUT, UH, HE DIED. HE PASSED ON.

HE CHOKED ON... THE
OFFICIAL EXPLANATION...

WAS HE CHOKED ON VOMIT.

AND HE PASSED AWAY. IT WAS
ACTUALLY SOMEONE ELSE'S VOMIT.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO REAL...

THEY CAN'T PROVE
WHOSE VOMIT IT WAS.

THEY DON'T HAVE
FACILITIES IN SCOTLAND YARD.

THERE'S NO WAY TO TAKE A
PHOTOGRAPH. YOU CAN'T DUST FOR VOMIT.

HERE WE GO.

SOHO, THEY CALL
IT. SOHO. SO WHAT?

HOW ARE YA?

IAN. HI, FELLAS! HOW YOU DOIN'?

COME HERE. I WANT
YOU TO MEET EVERYBODY.

BOBBI FLEKMAN. BOBBI FLEKMAN.

WHO'S THAT? BOBBI FLEKMAN.

WHO IS THAT? COME
OVER HERE, EVERYBODY.

WITH THE RECORD COMPANY?
YES, BOBBI FLEKMAN.

THE HOSTESS WITH
THE MOSTEST. WE KNOW.

YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW. HI,
HANDSOME. HOW YOU DOIN'?

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. I WANT YOU
ALL TO MEET SIR DENIS ETON-HOGG.

HE'S THE HEAD OF
POLYMER. WE KNOW.

YOU DON'T TALK SO MUCH.
JUST SMILE AND LOOK SMART.

DENIS, COME HERE! COME HERE.

I WANT YOU TO MEET SPINAL
TAP, OUR GUESTS OF HONOR.

HOW VERY NICE. KIDS, THIS
IS SIR DENIS ETON-HOGG.

IT'S A PLEASURE. THIS IS NIGEL.

THANKS A LOT FOR LETTING US...

LET'S GO OVER HERE, AND WE'LL
ALL TAKE A PICTURE TOGETHER.

WHERE'S CHRISTINE?
WHERE'S MY PHOTOGRAPHER?

COME OVER HERE, HONEY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? CHRISTINE?

OKAY, RIGHT OVER
HERE. GOOD! GOOD!

HE'S NOT INTO NEGRO MUSIC.
NO, I DON'T EAT THAT SHIT.

GUYS, YOU LOOK GREAT. I
MEAN, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

YOU WOULD NEVER
KNOW YOU'RE ALMOST 40.

IF I LOOKED THIS GOOD... FROM
THE STAGE TOO... IT'S AMAZING.

DO THE DEAD BIRD. GET THE DWARF
CANNOLI. THE LITTLE ONES, OKAY?

I DID THE BIRD. DON'T TALK
BACK. MIME IS MONEY. MOVE IT!

NOW, WE HERE AT POLYMER,
WE'RE ALL LOOKING FORWARD...

TO A LONG AND... AND FRUITFUL
RELATIONSHIP WITH SPINAL TAP.

WE WISH THEM GREAT SUCCESS
ON THEIR NORTH AMERICAN TOUR.

AND SO SAY ALL OF
US, "TAP INTO AMERICA."

EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU
READING YES, I CAN?

YEAH, HAVE YOU READ IT?
YEAH. BY SAMMY DAVIS, JR.?

YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT THE
TITLE OF THAT BOOK SHOULD BE?

YES, I CAN... IF FRANK
SINATRA SAYS IT'S OKAY.

'CAUSE FRANK CALLS THE
SHOTS FOR ALL THOSE GUYS.

DID YOU GET TO THE PART YET WHERE
SAMMY'S COMIN' OUT OF THE COPA,

AND IT'S ABOUT 3:00 IN THE
MORNING AND, UH, HE SEES FRANK.

FRANK'S WALKIN' DOWN
BROADWAY BY HIMSELF.

FUCKIN' LIMEYS.

WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE
NOT USED TO THAT WORLD.

YEAH, YEAH. FRANK SINATRA.
IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD.

YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST
PEOPLE LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW,

YOU KNOW, THEY GET ALL THEY WANT,
SO THEY DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND,

YOU KNOW, ABOUT
A LIFE LIKE FRANK'S.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'VE
LOVED AND LOST THE WAY FRANK HAS,

THEN YOU, UH, YOU
KNOW WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT.

THE TIMES MAY EVEN DO SOMETHING.

REALLY? THE NEW YORK
TIMES. THE NEW YORK TIMES.

A MINOR BUMP WE'VE GOT TO IRON OUT HERE
IS WHEN DO WE GET THE ALBUM RELEASED?

I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW GOOD
THE PRESS IS OR WHAT THE STRINGERS...

WELL, AS I EXPLAINED LAST NIGHT, WE'RE
NOT GONNA SATURATE THE NEW YORK MARKET.

NOW, PHILLY NOW. THAT'S
A REAL ROCK 'N' ROLL TOWN.

I'VE BEEN ASSURED THAT
THE ALBUM WILL BE AVAILABLE...

ALL THROUGH THE PHILADELPHIA
METROPOLITAN AREA.

YOU ARE HITTING THAT MARKET,
REGARDLESS OF HOW LONG WE'RE IN NEW YORK.

WE'RE CERTAINLY... I'M
DOING EVERYTHING I CAN.

YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE
NOT BLAMING YOU.

BUT YOU DON'T FEEL THAT THESE
GUYS HAVE AN AFFECT ON AN AUDIENCE?

I MEAN, KIDS GO TO THEIR
CONCERT, THEY HAVE A GREAT TIME.

BUT IT'S, UH, IT'S
A PASSING THING.

IT'S, UH...

I MEAN, I WOULD NEVER TELL THEM
THIS, BUT THIS IS A... THIS IS A FAD.

♪♪

♪ THE BIGGER THE CUSHION ♪
THE SWEETER THE PUSHIN' ♪

♪ THAT'S WHAT I SAID ♪

♪ THE LOOSER THE WAISTBAND
THE DEEPER THE QUICKSAND ♪

♪ OR SO I HAVE READ ♪

♪ MY BABY FITS ME
LIKE A FLESH TUXEDO ♪

♪ I'D LIKE TO SINK HER
WITH MY PINK TORPEDO ♪

♪ BIG BOTTOM ♪

♪ BIG BOTTOM ♪

♪ TALK ABOUT BUM
CAKES MY GIRL'S GOT 'EM ♪

♪ BIG BOTTOMS DRIVE
ME OUT OF MY MIND ♪

♪ HOW COULD I
LEAVE THIS BEHIND ♪

♪ I MET HER ON MONDAY
'TWAS MY LUCKY BUN DAY ♪

♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ♪

♪ I LOVE HER EACH WEEKDAY
EACH VELVETY CHEEK DAY ♪

♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ♪

♪ MY LOVE GUN'S LOADED
AND SHE'S IN MY SIGHTS ♪

♪ BIG GAME IS WAITING
THERE INSIDE HER TIGHTS ♪

♪ YEAH BIG BOTTOM ♪

♪ BIG BOTTOM ♪

♪ TALK ABOUT MUDFLAPS
MY GIRL'S GOT 'EM ♪

♪ BIG BOTTOMS DRIVE
ME OUT OF MY MIND ♪

♪ HOW COULD I
LEAVE THIS BEHIND ♪♪

LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR
REVIEWS A LITTLE BIT...

REGARDING INTRAVENOUS de MILO.

"THIS TASTELESS COVER IS A GOOD INDICATION
OF THE LACK OF MUSICAL INVENTION WITHIN.

"THE MUSICAL GROWTH RATE OF
THIS BAND CANNOT EVEN BE CHARTED.

THEY'RE TREADING WATER IN A SEA OF
RETARDED SEXUALITY AND BAD POETRY."

THAT'S NIT-PICKING, ISN'T IT?

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING
TO SPINAL TAP.

"THIS PRETENTIOUS, PONDEROUS
COLLECTION OF RELIGIOUS ROCK PSALMS...

"IS ENOUGH TO
PROMPT THE QUESTION,

"'WHAT DAY DID THE
LORD CREATE SPINAL TAP...

AND COULDN'T HE HAVE
RESTED ON THAT DAY TOO?'"

I NEVER HEARD THAT
ONE. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

THE REVIEW YOU HAD
ON SHARK SANDWICH,

WHICH WAS MERELY A TWO-WORD
REVIEW, JUST SAID, "SHIT SANDWICH."

UM... WHERE'D THEY PRINT
THAT? WHERE'D THEY PRINT THAT?

THAT'S NOT REAL.
YOU CAN'T PRINT THAT.

ALL THOSE ARGUMENTS ABOUT
TOURING AND NOT TOURING AND ALL THAT.

I MEAN, IT'S OBVIOUS WE
BELONG ON TOUR, YOU KNOW?

I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT YOU BEING
TOO OLD AND BEING TOO WHITE.

WHAT ABOUT THE ALBUM, IAN?

THAT'S THE REAL PROBLEM.
IT'S BEGINNING TO BE A REFRAIN.

THERE'S NO WAY TO PROMOTE
SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EXIST.

THAT'S A VERY
UNIMPORTANT REASON.

IT'S JUST THAT THEY'RE JUST
EXPERIMENTING WITH, UH,

WITH SOME NEW, UH,
PACKAGING MATERIALS.

LET ME GET THE DOOR.

DO THEY HAVE MONKEYS
OPENING IT? OH, THERE'S...

THE OTHER THING IS THAT THE
BOSTON GIG HAS BEEN CANCELED.

YEAH. I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT
IT. IT'S NOT A BIG COLLEGE TOWN.

HEY, I HEARD YOU BOYS. YOU GOT
AN ALBUM COMING OUT OR ANYTHING?

SMELL THE GLOVE.
IT SHOULD BE OUT...

SMELL THE GLOVE. SMELL
THE GLOVE. YEAH. YEAH.

- IT'S A PROVOCATIVE TITLE.
- WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE COVER.

VERY PROVOCATIVE, INDEED.

BOBBI, CAN I TEAR YOU
AWAY FOR A MOMENT?

DO YOU HAVE A DRINK? I
DON'T REALLY NEED ONE.

BUT, UM, LISTEN.

I REALLY DO HAVE TO TALK
TO YOU A BIT ABOUT THIS...

IAN, JUST TELL ME
WHATEVER'S ON YOUR MIND.

THE ISSUE OF THE COVER. YEAH.

WE, UH, I MEAN, WE FEEL,
AND IT SEEMS TO BE FACTS,

THAT, UH, THE COMPANY'S RATHER
DOWN ON THE COVER, IS THAT THE CASE?

YES. YOU CAN GIVE
IT TO ME STRAIGHT.

LISTEN. THEY DON'T
LIKE THE COVER.

WELL, THAT'S CERTAINLY STRAIGHT.

THEY FIND IT VERY
OFFENSIVE AND VERY SEXIST.

WHAT EXACTLY DO
YOU FIND OFFENSIVE?

IAN, YOU PUT A GREASED
NAKED WOMAN ON ALL FOURS...

WITH A DOG COLLAR AROUND
HER NECK AND A LEASH...

AND A MAN'S ARM
EXTENDED OUT UP TO HERE...

HOLDING ONTO THE LEASH AND PUSHING
A BLACK GLOVE IN HER FACE TO SNIFF IT.

YOU DON'T FIND THAT OFFENSIVE?
YOU DON'T FIND THAT SEXIST?

THIS IS 1982! THAT'S
RIGHT. IT'S 1982.

GET OUT OF THE '60s. WE DON'T
HAVE THIS MENTALITY ANYMORE.

WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE
COVER THEY WANTED TO DO. I DON'T CARE.

IT WASN'T A GLOVE, BELIEVE
ME. THIS IS SOMETHING...

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
TALK TO YOUR BOYS ABOUT.

WE'RE NOT LAYING DOWN ANY
CONDITIONS. I DON'T THINK A SEXY COVER...

IS THE ANSWER FOR WHY AN
ALBUM SELLS OR DOESN'T SELL.

BECAUSE YOU TELL ME... THE
WHITE ALBUM? WHAT WAS THAT?

THERE WAS NOTHING ON
THAT GODDAMN COVER.

EXCUSE ME. WE'LL
TALK ABOUT THIS AFTER.

HELLO. OH, HI, DENIS.

UH-OH. OKAY. WHY
DON'T YOU TELL HIM?

OKAY, HOLD ON ONE MINUTE. IAN, IT'S
ETON-HOGG. HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

OKAY. THANK YOU, DARLING.
YOU'RE WELCOME, DEAR.

HELLO, SIR DENIS.

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

OH.

FUCKIN' POOFTER.

BUT... BUT IT'S REALLY NOT THAT
OFFENSIVE, SIR DENIS, COME ON.

OKAY. I'LL CALL YOU ABSOLUTELY
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

OH, SHIT. THEY'RE NOT GOING
TO RELEASE THE ALBUM...

BECAUSE THEY HAVE DECIDED
THAT THE COVER IS SEXIST.

SO WHAT? WHAT'S
WRONG WITH BEING SEXY?

I MEAN, THERE'S NO... SEXIST!

OKAY, LISTEN. I WANTED
TO TELL YOU THIS,

AND I WAS HOLDING BACK BECAUSE I DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT DENIS' DECISION WAS GOING TO BE.

BUT AT THIS POINT, BOTH
SEARS AND KMART STORES...

HAVE REFUSED TO
HANDLE THE ALBUM.

THAT OLD ONE, HUH? THEY'RE BOYCOTTING
THE ALBUM ONLY BECAUSE OF THE COVER.

IF A COMPANY'S BEHIND AN ALBUM, IT
CAN SHOVE IT RIGHT DOWN THEIR THROATS.

MONEY TALKS AND BULLSHIT WALKS.

AND IF THE FIRST ALBUM WAS A HIT,
THEN WE COULD HAVE PRESSED ON THEM,

THEN WE COULD HAVE
TOLD THEM, "YES, LET'S..."

EVERY CUT ON THIS ALBUM... I DON'T
GIVE A SHIT WHAT THE ALBUM SAYS.

IT WAS A JOKE. A LONG TIME AGO.

NOW THEY'RE MAKING
IT LIKE A BIG DEAL.

IF WE WERE SERIOUS AND SAID SHE
SHOULD BE FORCED TO SMELL THE GLOVE,

THEN YOU'D HAVE A POINT,
BUT IT'S ALL A JOKE, ISN'T IT?

WE'RE MAKING FUN OF THAT
SORT OF THING. IT IS AND ISN'T.

SHE SHOULD BE MADE TO SMELL
IT, BUT... NOT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

THE THING IS WE CAN
PROBABLY WORK SOMETHING OUT.

I'LL TALK TO DENIS AND MAYBE WE
CAN COME UP WITH A COMPROMISE...

AND A NEW DESIGN CONCEPT
THAT WE CAN ALL LIVE WITH.

YOU GUYS WERE SCHOOLMATES?

WE... WE DON'T... WE'RE
NOT UNIVERSITY MATERIAL.

WHAT'S ON YOUR
FINGER? IT'S MY GUM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH IT ON
YOUR FINGER? I MIGHT NEED IT LATER.

PUT IT ON THE TABLE.
THAT'S TERRIBLE.

NO. I MIGHT FORGET
IT ON THE TABLE.

HOW OLD WERE YOU GUYS WHEN
YOU MET? CAN'T TAKE HIM ANYWHERE.

EIGHT YEARS OLD. EIGHT OR NINE.

YOU WERE EIGHT, AND I WAS SEVEN.

THAT'S RIGHT, ISN'T IT?

DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST SONG
YOU GUYS EVER WROTE TOGETHER?

"ALL THE WAY HOME," PROBABLY.

"ALL THE WAY HOME"? YEAH.

CAN YOU REMEMBER A LITTLE
BIT OF IT? I'D LOVE TO HEAR IT.

CHRIST. SOME BLACK COFFEE,
MAYBE WE COULD DO IT.

HOW'S IT GO? ♪♪

♪ BESIDE THE RAILROAD TRAIN ♪

♪ AND I'M WAITIN' FOR THAT
TRAIN TO BRING YOU BACK ♪

♪ BRING YOU BACK ♪

IF SHE'S... ♪ IF SHE'S
NOT ON THE 5:19 ♪

♪ THEN I'M GONNA KNOW
WHAT SORROW MEANS ♪

♪ AND I'M GONNA CRY, CRY,
CRY ALL THE WAY HOME ♪

♪ ALL THE WAY HOME ♪
♪ ALL THE WAY HOME ♪

♪ ALL THE WAY HOME
ALL THE WAY HOME ♪♪

CRY, CRY ALL THE WAY HOME.

CRY, CRY, CRY ALL THE WAY HOME.

THERE WERE ABOUT SIX
WORDS IN THE WHOLE SONG.

WE'RE JUST REPEATIN'
THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

LET'S TALK ABOUT
YOUR MUSIC TODAY.

ONE THING THAT PUZZLES ME, UM,
IS THE MAKEUP OF YOUR AUDIENCE.

IT SEEMS TO BE
PREDOMINANTLY YOUNG BOYS.

WELL, IT'S A SEXUAL
THING, REALLY.

ASIDE FROM THE IDENTIFYING
THAT THE BOYS DO WITH US,

THERE'S ALSO, LIKE, A REACTION TO THE
FEMALE... OF THE FEMALE TO OUR MUSIC.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? REALLY,
THEY'RE QUITE FEARFUL.

THAT'S MY THEORY. THEY SEE US
ON THE STAGE WITH TIGHT TROUSERS.

WE'VE GOT, YOU KNOW,
ARMADILLOS IN OUR TROUSERS.

I MEAN, IT'S REALLY QUITE
FRIGHTENING, THE SIZE,

AND... AND THEY RUN SCREAMING...

IAN, CAN I HAVE A WORD
WITH YOU FOR A MINUTE?

YES, OF COURSE. WHAT?

THERE ARE A COUPLE OF PROBLEMS
WITH THE ARRANGEMENTS BACKSTAGE.

WHAT EXACTLY?

WELL, NO, I MEAN, THERE
ARE SOME PROBLEMS HERE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE TO START.

SOUND CHECK? WHAT?
NO, NO, NO, NO. THIS. LOOK.

THERE'S A REAL PROBLEM
WITH... LOOK. THIS.

THIS MINIATURE BREAD. IT'S... I'VE BEEN
WORKING WITH THIS FOR ABOUT HALF AN HOUR.

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT... LET'S
SAY I WANT A BITE, RIGHT?

YOU GOT THIS. YOU'D
LIKE BIGGER BREAD?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND... YOU
COULD FOLD THIS, THOUGH.

WELL, NO, THEN IT'S HALF
THE SIZE. NOT THE BREAD.

YOU FOLD THE MEAT. THEN
IT BREAKS APART LIKE THIS.

NO, YOU PUT IT ON
THE BREAD LIKE THIS.

BUT IF YOU KEEP FOLDING IT, IT
KEEPS BREAKING. WHY KEEP FOLDING IT?

EVERYTHING HAS TO BE FOLDED, AND
THEN IT'S THIS, AND I DON'T WANT THIS.

I WANT LARGE BREAD, SO
THEN I CAN PUT THIS... RIGHT.

SO THEN IT'S LIKE THIS, BUT THIS
DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE IT'S ALL...

BECAUSE IT HANGS OUT LIKE THAT.

WOULD YOU BE HOLDING THIS?

I WOULDN'T WANT TO PUT THAT IN
MY MOUTH. ALL RIGHT, EXHIBIT "A."

THEN WE MOVE ON TO THIS. LOOK.

WHO'S IN HERE? NO ONE. THEN
IN HERE, THERE'S A LITTLE GUY.

SO, IT'S A COMPLETE CATASTROPHE.

NIGEL, YOU'RE RIGHT.
CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT'S A JOKE. I'M SORRY.

IT'S JUST SOME CRAPPY
UNIVERSITY, YOU KNOW. IT'S A JOKE.

I DON'T WANT IT TO AFFECT
YOUR PERFORMANCE.

IT'S NOT GOING TO AFFECT MY
PERFORMANCE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I JUST HATE IT. IT DOES
DISTURB ME. IT'S DISGUSTING.

BUT I'LL RISE ABOVE
IT. I'M A PROFESSIONAL.

♪♪

♪ IT'S LITERALLY A HELLHOLE ♪

♪ YOU KNOW WHERE YOU
STAND IN A HELLHOLE ♪

♪ FOLKS LEND A
HAND IN A HELLHOLE ♪

♪ GIRL, GET ME BACK
TO MY HELLHOLE ♪♪

DO STONEHENGE!

DO YOU PLAY... I MEAN, DO
YOU ACTUALLY PLAY ALL THESE?

I PLAY THEM, AND I CHERISH THEM.

THIS IS THE TOP OF
THE HEAP RIGHT HERE.

THERE'S NO QUESTION. LOOK
AT THE FLAME ON THAT ONE.

YES. IT'S QUITE UNBELIEVABLE.

THIS ONE IS JUST,
UH, IT'S PERFECT, 1959.

YOU KNOW, JUST LISTEN.

HOW MUCH... JUST
LISTEN FOR A MINUTE.

IT'S SUSTAINED. LISTEN TO IT.

I'M NOT HEARING ANYTHING.

YOU WOULD, THOUGH,
IF IT WERE PLAYING,

BECAUSE IT'S FAMOUS
FOR ITS SUSTAIN.

I MEAN, YOU CAN JUST HOLD
IT... SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO...

♪ AHH ♪

YOU CAN GO AND HAVE A BITE.

♪ AHH ♪ YOU'D STILL
BE HEARING THAT ONE.

HOLD THIS A SEC. SURE.

THIS ONE, OF COURSE, IS
A CUSTOM THREE PICKUP.

THIS IS MY RADIO
UNIT. OH, I SEE.

SO I STRAP THIS PIECE ON RIGHT
DOWN IN HERE WHEN I'M ONSTAGE.

IT'S A WIRELESS.
WIRELESS. EXACTLY.

I CAN PLAY WITHOUT
ALL THE MUCKY MUCK.

YOU CAN RUN ANYWHERE
ONSTAGE WITH THAT.

THIS IS SPECIAL TOO. LOOK. SEE?

IT'S STILL GOT THE
OLD TAGGER ON IT.

YOU SEE, I NEVER EVEN PLAYED IT.

YOU JUST BOUGHT
IT? DON'T TOUCH IT.

I WASN'T GOING TO
TOUCH IT. DON'T TOUCH IT.

I WAS JUST POINTING
AT IT. DON'T POINT.

DON'T EVEN POINT? NO. IT
CAN'T BE PLAYED. NEVER.

CAN I LOOK AT IT?
DON'T LOOK AT IT. NO.

THIS IS A TOP TO, YOU KNOW,
WHAT WE USE ON STAGE,

BUT IT'S VERY, VERY SPECIAL
BECAUSE, IF YOU CAN SEE,

THE NUMBERS ALL GO TO 11.

LOOK. RIGHT ACROSS THE
BOARD. ELEVEN, ELEVEN, ELEVEN.

AND MOST OF THESE AMPS
GO UP TO TEN. EXACTLY.

DOES THAT MEAN IT'S LOUDER?

WELL, IT'S ONE LOUDER, ISN'T IT?

IT'S NOT TEN. YOU SEE, MOST
BLOKES ARE GONNA BE PLAYING AT TEN.

WE'RE ON TEN HERE. ALL
THE WAY UP. ALL THE WAY UP.

YOU'RE ON TEN ON YOUR GUITAR.
WHERE CAN YOU GO FROM THERE?

WHERE? NOWHERE.
EXACTLY. I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT WE DO IS IF WE NEED
THAT EXTRA PUSH OVER THE CLIFF,

YOU KNOW WHAT WE
DO? PUT IT UP TO 11.

ELEVEN. EXACTLY. ONE LOUDER.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE TEN
LOUDER, MAKE TEN BE THE TOP NUMBER,

AND MAKE THAT A LITTLE LOUDER?

THESE GO TO 11.

ARE YOU SPINAL TAP?

THIS IS SPINAL TAP. WELCOME
TO MEMPHIS, GENTLEMEN.

WE HAVE A SLIGHT PROBLEM
WITH YOUR RESERVATION.

NOTHING SERIOUS. HOW SLIGHT?

YOU WANTED SEVEN
SUITES. SEVEN SUITES.

YES. WE MISTAKENLY PUT YOU ON
THE SEVENTH FLOOR WITH ONE SUITE.

THAT'S CONSIDERABLY
MORE THAN MINOR.

BUT IT'S A GOOD-SIZED
ROOM, SIR. IT'S A KING LEISURE.

HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET 14
PEOPLE IN A KING LEISURE BED?

DON'T TEMPT ME, SIR.
HAVE A GOOD TIME.

- I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
- WELCOME, GENTLEMEN.

VERY ATTRACTIVE THEY
ARE TOO. LISTEN TO ME.

WE WANT THESE SUITES NOW. THESE PEOPLE ARE
TIRED. WE HAVE A SOUND CHECK IN AN HOUR.

RIVA, PERHAPS YOU CAN
HELP ME. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG.
THIS TWISTED OLD FRUIT HERE...

TELLS ME YOU HAVE NOT GOT MY
RESERVATIONS. I'M JUST AS GOD MADE ME, SIR.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
GOLF AND MINIATURE GOLF?

THE BALLS?

UH-OH, LOOK OUT. HERE THEY COME.

DUKE! DUKE!

CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

DUKE. YES, WE
KNOW. IT'S SPINAL TAP.

DAVID ST. HUBBINS, SPINAL TAP.

HOW'S IT GOING? DEREK SMALLS.

WE GOTTA GET GOING. WHERE
YOU PLAYIN'? ARE YOU PLAYIN' HERE?

WE'RE DOIN' THE ENORMO
DOME. WHATEVER IT IS.

IT'S A GOOD HOUSE.
WE SOLD IT OUT.

BIG PLACE. YOU SOLD OUT!

WE REALLY SHOULD RUN.

GOOD HEAVENS. HOW ARE
YOU, LARRY? GREAT TO SEE YOU.

LIAM. IAN.

WE'D LOVE TO STAND AROUND AND CHAT,
BUT WE GOTTA SIT DOWN IN THE LOBBY...

AND WAIT FOR THE
LIMO, OKAY, BOYS?

YEAH, BEST OF LUCK.
CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER.

GREAT. GREAT TO SEE YOU.

GOOD DAY. JERK. FUCKIN' WANKER.

WHAT A WANKER. HE'S
GOT THIS MUCH TALENT.

HE'S GOT THIS
MUCH IF HE'S LUCKY.

WE HAD TO APOLOGIZE
FOR HIM WITH OUR SET.

PEOPLE WERE BOOIN' HIM
WHEN WE WERE ON THE ROAD.

IT'S ALL HYPE.

YEP, WE GOT OUR
ROOMS. BIG FAT SUITES.

HAVE YOU SEEN DUKE
FAME'S CURRENT ALBUM?

UM, YES. YOU'VE SEEN THE COVER?

UH, NO. NO, I
DON'T THINK I HAVE.

WELL, IT'S A RATHER LURID COVER.

IT'S LIKE NAKED WOMEN AND...

HE'S TIED DOWN TO
THIS TABLE, UH-HUH.

AND HE'S GOT WHIPS,
AND THEY'RE ALL SEMINUDE.

KNOCKIN' ON 'EM.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

MY POINT IS IT'S MUCH
WORSE THAN SMELL THE GLOVE.

HE RELEASES THAT,
AND HE'S NUMBER THREE.

BECAUSE HE'S THE VICTIM. THEIR
OBJECTIONS WERE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM.

OH. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

IF THE SINGER'S THE
VICTIM, IT'S NOT SEXIST.

THEY DID A TWIST ON IT. WE
SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT.

WE WERE SO CLOSE. IF WE HAD ALL YOU
GUYS TIED UP, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE.

IT'S SUCH A FINE LINE
BETWEEN STUPID AND CLEVER.

IT'S JUST THAT LITTLE TURNABOUT.

I HAVE A SMALL
PIECE OF BAD NEWS.

ALTHOUGH, IT MAY NOT BE
THAT BAD. FOR A CHANGE.

WE'RE CANCELED HERE.

AT THE HOTEL? NO, WE'RE
CANCELED. THE GIG IS CANCELED.

FUCK!

IT SAYS, "MEMPHIS SHOW CANCELED
DUE TO LACK OF ADVERTISING FUNDS."

THE LAST TIME TAP
TOURED AMERICA,

THEY WERE, UH, BOOKED
INTO 10,000-SEAT ARENAS...

AND 15,000-SEAT VENUES.

AND IT SEEMS THAT NOW
ON THE CURRENT TOUR,

THEY'RE BEING BOOKED INTO
1,200-SEAT ARENAS, 1,500-SEAT ARENAS.

AND I WAS JUST WONDERING, DOES THIS
MEAN THE POPULARITY OF THE GROUP IS WANING?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NOT AT ALL.

I-I JUST THINK THAT THEIR APPEAL
IS BECOMING MORE SELECTIVE.

NOW, I NOTICE YOU GOT
THIS CRICKET BAT HERE. YES.

DO YOU PLAY? NO. I CARRY
THIS PARTLY OUT OF...

SORT OF... I DON'T KNOW.

I SUPPOSE, WHAT'S THE
WORD? AFFECTATION?

YES, I MEAN, IT'S A KIND OF
TOTEMISTIC THING, YOU KNOW,

BUT TO BE FRANK WITH YOU,

IT'S COME IN USEFUL IN
A COUPLE OF SITUATIONS.

CERTAINLY IN THE TOPSY-TURVY
WORLD OF HEAVY ROCK,

HAVING A GOOD SOLID PIECE OF WOOD
IN YOUR HAND IS QUITE OFTEN USEFUL.

I MISS YOU TOO, DARLING.

UM, NOT TOO WELL, ACTUALLY.

WE'VE GOT SOME CANCELLATIONS.

WE GOT TO MEMPHIS,
AND THERE'S NO GIG.

AND WE FIND OUT THIS PROMOTER,

UH, HAS PULLED OUT OF
ST. LOUIS AND KANSAS CITY...

AND, UM, OH, DES MOINES.

I DON'T KNOW. HE'S IN
INDIANA OR SOMETHING.

OH, DON'T TEASE ME.
THAT'S NOT UNTIL APRIL.

GREAT! WE'LL DO IT.

OH, GO... FUCKIN' GREAT.

MILWAUKEE. MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN.

I HAVE NO IDEA.

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE A PLANE TO
NEW YORK AND THEN GO TO MILWAUKEE.

OH, GOOD. I LOVE YOU TOO.

OKAY. BYE.

MY PROBLEMS ARE
SOLVED. WHO WAS THAT?

JEANINE. SHE'S
GONNA COME MEET US.

SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THIS WINDOW
LAYOUT FOR NEIL KAYET'S BOUTIQUE,

BUT IT'S NOT TILL APRIL.

IS SHE COMING TO
DROP SOME STUFF OFF?

SHE'S COMING ON THE ROAD.
SHE'S GONNA TRAVEL WITH US.

SHE SAID THAT SHE CAN HEAR I'M
EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR ON THE PHONE.

SHE SAYS MY LARYNX IS FAT.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO COME NEXT DOOR.
THE RADIO'S PLAYING A BIT OF YOUR PAST.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

OH, YEAH. GOIN' ALL
THE WAY BACK TO 1965.

DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD WITH THE
THAMES MEN AND "CUPS AND CAKES"?

THE THAMES MEN LATER CHANGED
THEIR NAME TO SPINAL TAP.

THEY HAD A COUPLE
OF NICE-SIZED HITS.

THEY'RE CURRENTLY RESIDING IN
THE "WHERE ARE THEY NOW?" FILE.

JOHNNY Q WITH YOU ON GOLDEN
106, AND RIGHT AFTER WE...

FUCK YOU.

I'M NOT REALLY SURE THIS
WAS SUCH A GREAT IDEA.

I MEAN, I DON'T FEEL ANY
BETTER THAN I DID AT THE HOTEL.

HE WAS GOING TO DO A TV
SPECIAL FROM HERE BEFORE HE DIED.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. MUSICAL VERSION
OF "SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME."

♪ WELL, SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪

♪ I FOUND A NEW PLACE TO DWELL ♪

♪ IT'S DOWN AT THE
END OF LONELY STREET ♪

♪ THAT HEARTBREAK HOTEL ♪

DO IT WITH THE HARMONY
PARTS. ALL RIGHT.

♪ WELL, SINCE MY BABY ♪

IN THE SAME KEY,
THOUGH, I THINK.

♪ WELL, SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪

IF I'M GOING... ♪ SINCE
MY BABY LEFT ME ♪

♪ ME ♪

NO, YOU CAN'T HIT THAT NOTE.

♪ SINCE MY... SINCE
MY BABY LEFT ME ♪

♪ WELL, I FOUND A
NEW PLACE TO DWELL ♪

THAT'S ALL RIGHT. NOT
REALLY. IT SOUNDS RAGA.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GO RAGA.
NOT WITH THIS, YOU DON'T.

♪ SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪♪
IT SOUNDS FUCKING BARBERSHOP.

BARBERSHOP RAGA.
WATCH THE LANGUAGE.

WE ARE IN THE PRESENCE
OF THE KING. SORRY.

THIS IS THOROUGHLY DEPRESSING.

IT REALLY PUTS A PERSPECTIVE
ON THINGS, THOUGH, DOESN'T IT?

YEAH, TOO MUCH. THERE'S TOO
MUCH FUCKING PERSPECTIVE NOW.

IN 1967, YOU... THAT WAS THE FIRST
TIME SPINAL TAP CAME INTO EXISTENCE.

THE WHOLE WORLD WAS
CHANGING IN THOSE DAYS.

AND WE HAD THE WORLD'S EAR
BECAUSE WE HAD JUST RELEASED...

AN ENORMOUS-SELLING SINGLE.

"LISTEN TO THE FLOWER
PEOPLE. "FLOWER PEOPLE."

WE TOURED THE WORLD.
WE TOURED THE STATES.

TOURED THE WORLD AND ELSEWHERE.
IT WAS A DREAM COME TRUE.

♪ LISTEN TO WHAT THE
FLOWER PEOPLE SAY ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ LISTEN IT'S GETTING
LOUDER EVERY DAY ♪

♪ LISTEN IT'S LIKE A
BOLT OUT OF THE BLUE ♪

♪ AHH ♪

♪ LISTEN IT COULD BE
CALLING OUT FOR YOU ♪♪

DURING THE FLOWER PEOPLE
PERIOD, WHO WAS YOUR DRUMMER?

STUMPY'S REPLACEMENT,
PETER JAMES BOND.

HE ALSO DIED IN
MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES.

WE WERE PLAYING A, UH,
JAZZ BLUES FESTIVAL. FESTIVAL.

WHERE WAS THAT? A
BLUES JAZZ, REALLY.

BLUES JAZZ FESTIVAL.
THAT WAS IN THE ISLE...

ISLE OF LUCY. THE ISLE OF
LUCY JAZZ AND BLUES FESTIVAL.

AND, UH, IT WAS TRAGIC,
REALLY. HE EXPLODED ONSTAGE.

JUST LIKE THAT. HE JUST WENT UP.

HE JUST WAS LIKE A FLASH OF
GREEN LIGHT AND THAT WAS IT.

NOTHING WAS LEFT.
LOOK AT HIS FACE.

THIS REALLY DID HAPPEN.

THERE WAS A LITTLE GREEN
GLOBULE ON HIS DRUM SEAT.

LIKE A STAIN, REALLY. MORE
OF A STAIN THAN A GLOBULE.

YOU KNOW, SEVERAL...
DOZENS OF PEOPLE...

SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST EACH YEAR.

IT'S JUST NOT REALLY
WIDELY REPORTED.

TESTING.

TEST, TEST, TEST. THIS
IS MIKE NUMBER ONE.

THIS IS MIKE NUMBER ONE.
ISN'T THIS A LOT OF FUN?

TWO. TWO. OKAY,
HE'S GOT THE MIKES.

LET'S DO G.S.M.,
ALL RIGHT? G.S.M.

♪ STOP WASTIN' MY TIME ♪

♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT ♪

♪ HEAVY UP YOU KNOW
WHAT I N-N-NEED ♪

♪ OR MAYBE YOU DON'T ♪

♪ OR DO I HAVE TO COME RIGHT SMACK
DAB OUT AND TELL YOU EVERYTHING ♪

♪ GIMME SOME MONEY ♪

♪ GIMME SOME MONEY ♪

♪ OH, YEAH ♪♪

HELLO, DARLING.

HELLO. I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?
WHERE'D YOU THINK I CAME FROM?

THE BLOODY AIRPLANE, DIDN'T I?

OH, THAT FEELS GOOD.

OH, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO
DO THAT FOR A LONG TIME.

WANT ME TO CARRY IT
DOWN WITH ME? WHAT'S THIS?

THAT'S THE FILM CREW. I TOLD YOU
ABOUT THIS. THAT'S THE FILM CREW.

MARTIN, THIS IS JEANINE. HELLO.

HERE IT IS, LADS.
VISITORS' DAY, ISN'T IT?

GATHER AROUND. WHERE'S DAVID?

DAVID. DAVID, GET UP HERE.

DAVID, SMELL THE GLOVE
IS HERE. HELLO, JEANINE.

IT'S THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL
BEEN WAITING FOR. HERE WE GO.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIVE TO SEE
THE DAY. PLENTY FOR EVERYBODY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS
THIS THE TEST PRESSING?

NO, THIS IS IT.

THIS IS SMELL THE GLOVE BY
SPINAL TAP? THAT'S SMELL THE GLOVE.

THAT'S THE JACKET COVER THAT'S
GOING OUT ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

THIS IS THE COMPROMISED WAY.

IS IT GOING TO SAY
ANYTHING HERE?

IT'S NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING.

IT'S GONNA BE ALL BLACK. THAT
SIMPLE, BEAUTIFUL, CLASSIC.

IT DOES LOOK LIKE BLACK LEATHER.

YOU CAN SEE
YOURSELF IN BOTH SIDES.

IT'S LIKE A BLACK MIRROR.

IT LOOKS LIKE DEATH. IT
LOOKS LIKE MOURNING.

EVERY MOVIE AND CINEMA IS
ABOUT DEATH. DEATH SELLS.

I THINK HE'S RIGHT. THERE'S
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS THAT IS SO BLACK,

IT'S LIKE, HOW MUCH MORE
BLACK COULD THIS BE?

AND THE ANSWER IS,
"NONE." IS THAT GOOD?

YOU'RE RATIONALIZING
THIS WHOLE THING...

LIKE IT'S SOMETHING
YOU DID ON PURPOSE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK WE'RE STUCK WITH A
VERY STUPID AND DISMAL-LOOKING ALBUM.

THIS IS DEPRESSING. THIS IS
SOMETHING YOU WEAR AROUND YOUR ARM.

YOU DON'T PUT THIS ON YOUR FUCKING
TURNTABLE. DAVID, IT'S A CHOICE.

THIS IS THE TURNING POINT, OKAY?

I THINK THIS IS... WE'RE
ON OUR WAY NOW.

IT'S TIME... IT'S
TIME TO KICK ASS.

♪♪

♪ WHEN THERE WAS DARKNESS
AND THE VOID WAS KING ♪

♪ AND RULED THE ELEMENTS ♪

♪ WHEN THERE WAS
SILENCE AND THE HUSH ♪

♪ WAS ALMOST DEAFENING ♪

♪ OUT OF THE EMPTINESS ♪

♪ SALVATION ♪
♪ SALVATION ♪

♪ THE RHYTHM AND
LIGHT AND SOUND ♪

♪ 'TWAS THE ROCK
'N' ROLL CREATION ♪

♪ 'TWAS A TERRIBLE BIG BANG ♪

♪ 'TWAS THE ULTIMATE MUTATION ♪

♪ YIN WAS SEARCHING
FOR HIS YANG ♪

♪ AND THEY LOOKED AND
THEY SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD ♪

♪ I LOOK TO THE STARS
AND THE ANSWER IS CLEAR ♪

♪ I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND SEE WHAT I FEAR ♪

♪ 'TIS THE ROCK
'N' ROLL CREATION ♪

♪ 'TIS THE ABSOLUTE REBIRTH ♪

♪ 'TIS THE ROLLING
OF THE OCEAN ♪

♪ AND THE ROCKING OF THE EARTH ♪

♪ AND I LOOKED AND I
SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD ♪♪

GIVEN THE HISTORY OF
SPINAL TAP DRUMMERS...

IN THE PAST, DO YOU HAVE
ANY FEARS, UH, FOR YOUR LIFE?

WHEN I DID JOIN,
THEY DID TELL ME.

THEY KIND OF TOOK ME ASIDE AND SAID,
"WELL, MICK, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE THIS."

AND IT DID KIND OF FREAK ME OUT,

BUT IT CAN'T ALWAYS
HAPPEN TO EVERY, CAN IT?

RIGHT. THE LAW OF AVERAGES
SAYS YOU WILL SURVIVE. YEAH.

WHOA. QUITE EXCITING.

QUITE EXCITING, THIS
COMPUTER MAGIC.

HOW MANY PLANETS
HAVE YOU DESTROYED, VIV?

ABOUT FOURTH OR FIFTH
TIME AROUND, I THINK.

WE'RE DOING, REALLY,
FIVE GALAXIES GOING.

THIS IS CINDY'S FIRST MUSTACHE.

IS IT?

CAN I TAKE IT OFF NOW?
WHY, ARE YOU TOO HOT IN IT?

NO, IT'S, UM, I THOUGHT I MIGHT GO
BACK AND SEE WHAT THEY WERE UP TO.

I DON'T THINK THEY NEED TO SEE THIS
UNTIL YOU'RE FINISHED WITH IT, YOU KNOW.

YOU WERE READING.
YOU CAN READ HERE.

YEAH, BUT THEY GOT THE
NEW GAME BACK THERE.

I THOUGHT... I THOUGHT I'D
HAVE A LOOK AT THE NEW GAME.

IT'S LIKE A SUBMARINE THING.

YOU'VE GOT ALL
STUFF OVER YOU AGAIN.

BEFORE I MET JEANINE, MY LIFE
WAS COSMICALLY A SHAMBLES.

IT WAS, UH, I WAS USING BITS AND PIECES
OF WHATEVER EASTERN PHILOSOPHIES...

HAPPENED TO DRIFT
THROUGH MY TRANSOM.

AND, UH, SHE SORT OF
SORTED IT OUT FOR ME,

STRAIGHTENED IT OUT FOR ME, GAVE
ME A PATH, YOU KNOW, A PATH TO FOLLOW.

I WONDER IF YOU HAVE
AS MUCH INFLUENCE...

OVER HIS MUSICAL
EXPRESSION. OH, YEAH.

I MEAN, I LISTEN TO HIM WHEN
HE'S EXPERIMENTING, DON'T I?

HE'S, UH, HE PLAYS THINGS TO ME
SOMETIMES WHEN HE'S WORKED OUT...

HE'S GOT A NEW BIT HE
WANTS TO TELL ME ABOUT.

YOU KNOW, AND I SAY THAT'S
GOOD OR BAD OR SHIT OR WHATEVER.

YES, SHE'S VERY HONEST.
SHE'S BRUTALLY FRANK.

HOW DOES THAT GO OVER
WITH THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS?

I MEAN, YOU... SHE GIVES ME
THE BRUTALLY FRANK VERSION,

AND I SORT OF TART
IT UP FOR THEM.

OF COURSE, IT'S
STRANGE BECAUSE NIGEL...

AND JEANINE ARE SIMILAR IN
MANY WAYS, BUT THEY JUST CAN'T...

THEY DON'T DISLIKE EACH OTHER.

THERE'S GREAT LOVE BETWEEN
THE TWO OF THEM. NO. OH, YES.

BUT THERE'S SOME SORT OF COMMUNICATION
THAT'S JUST BLOCKED OR SOMETHING.

IT'S PRETTY. YEAH, I LIKE IT.

JUST BEEN FOOLIN' ABOUT
WITH IT FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW.

VERY DELICATE.

IT'S A BIT OF A DEPARTURE FROM THE
KIND OF THING YOU'D NORMALLY PLAY.

YEAH, WELL, IT'S PART
OF A TRILOGY, REALLY.

A MUSICAL TRILOGY
THAT I'M DOING...

IN "D" MINOR, WHICH I ALWAYS
FIND IS THE SADDEST OF ALL KEYS.

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT IT MAKES
PEOPLE WEEP INSTANTLY WHEN YOU PLAY IT.

♪♪

IT'S A HORN PART.

IT'S VERY PRETTY.

♪ BA ♪ YEAH, JUST
SIMPLE LINES INTERTWINING.

YOU KNOW, VERY MUCH, LIKE, I'M
REALLY INFLUENCED BY MOZART AND BACH.

IT'S SORT OF IN BETWEEN
THOSE, SORT OF A "MACH" PIECE.

WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?

THIS PIECE IS CALLED
"LICK MY LOVE PUMP."

MIDWEST AIRLINES, FLIGHT 406...

DO YOU HAVE ANY METAL OBJECTS?

YEAH. TAKE THEM OUT AND
PUT THEM IN THE BUCKET.

COINS. KEYS.

TUNING FORK.

MUSICIAN. I HAVE TO
STAY IN TUNE, YOU KNOW.

OH. OKAY. COULD YOU
TAKE THIS JACKET OFF?

OH, IT'S THE ZIPPER.
SET OFF THE MACHINE.

LET'S GO. LET'S GO.

STEP OVER HERE, PLEASE.

RAISE YOUR ARMS.

DO YOU HAVE ANY
ARTIFICIAL PLATES OR LIMBS?

- NOT REALLY, NO.
- UM, WOULD YOU, UH...

DO IT!

♪♪

♪ I DON'T NEED A WOMAN ♪

♪ I WON'T TAKE ME NO WIFE ♪

♪ I GOT THE ROCK 'N' ROLL
AND THAT'LL BE MY LIFE ♪

♪ NO PAGE IN HISTORY,
BABY THAT I DON'T NEED ♪

♪ I JUST WANNA MAKE
SOME EARDRUMS BLEED ♪

♪ HEAVY DUTY ♪

♪ HEAVY DUTY ROCK 'N' ROLL ♪

♪ HEAVY DUTY ♪

♪ BRINGS OUT THE
DUTY IN MY SOUL ♪♪

HI. ARTIE FUFKIN, POLYMER
RECORDS. HOW ARE YOU?

HOW YOU DOING? YOU
ARE... DEREK. DEREK.

ARTIE FUFKIN, POLYMER RECORDS.

I'M YOUR PROMO MAN HERE
IN CHICAGO. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

AND, OF COURSE, NIGEL. I
LOVE YOU. NIGEL TUFNEL.

RIGHT. I LOVE YOUR STUFF.
I GO BACK WITH YOU GUYS.

ARTIE FUFKIN, POLYMER
RECORDS. RIGHT.

I LOVE YOU. WHO
ARE YOU, DARLING?

THIS IS MY SPECIAL
NEW FRIEND, CINDY.

HELLO, CINDY. AND
THIS IS BELINDA.

HELLO, BELINDA. ARTIE
FUFKIN, POLYMER RECORDS.

AND I... OH, WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?

HI. HI, GUYS. ARTIE
FUFKIN, POLYMER RECORDS.

NICE TO SEE YOU.
AND WHERE IS DAVID?

DAVID, HI. ARTIE FUFKIN.

HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU.

WE'VE GOT SOMETHING
EXCITING HAPPENING TOMORROW.

OH, IT'S THE FOOD.
IT'S THE FOOD.

OH, THANK GOD, CIVILIZATION.
WHERE DO I PUT THIS?

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TO ME
HERE? I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.

I THOUGHT WE HAD A RELATIONSHIP.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

THIS IS TERRIBLE. WHAT CAN I
TELL YOU? THIS IS THE TRUTH.

I KNOW BUSINESS IS TERRIBLE,
BUT WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE...

WITH THE RECORD STORE, WITH THE
PROMOTION, AND NOBODY SHOWS UP?

THIS ISN'T PERSONAL.
NOBODY'S COMING IN.

FORGET PERSONAL THING.
WE HAD A RELATIONSHIP.

FORGET PERSONAL. WHAT
ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP?

I FEEL LIKE A SCHLUB.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING.

IT'S ME. THAT'S WHAT'S
HAPPENING. IT'S ME.

I DID IT. IT'S MY FAULT.

WE WERE TOLD
MASSIVE RADIO SUPPORT.

WE DID. WE DID MASSIVE. WE
SATURATED. WE OVERSATURATED.

THAT'S WHAT IT IS. IT'S
ME. I DID IT. I FUCKED UP.

I FUCKED UP THE
TIMING. THAT'S ALL.

I GOT NO TIMING.
I GOT NO TIMING.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO
DO? WILL YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME?

DO ME A FAVOR. JUST
KICK MY ASS, OKAY.

KICK THIS ASS FOR
AMENDS, THAT'S ALL.

KICK MY ASS. ENJOY. COME ON!

I'M NOT ASKING, I'M TELLING
WITH THIS. KICK MY ASS.

WE'VE KEPT THEM WAITING LONG
ENOUGH. LET'S DO IT TO THEM.

COME ON, MICK!

LET'S GO, MR. SHRIMPTON.
ROCK 'N' ROLL!

LET'S HAVE SOME ROCK 'N' ROLL!

ROCK 'N' ROLL! LET'S GO.

THIS IS GONNA BE
A HOT ONE, ISN'T IT?

IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT
SHOW. THAT'S NOT AN EXIT.

THAT'S NOT AN EXIT.
WE DON'T WANT AN EXIT.

THAT'S TRUE. OH, THIS WAY.

UM, WAIT. THIS LOOKS
FAMILIAR, THOUGH.

LISTEN. IT REALLY DOES.

LET'S DON'T LOSE IT, THOUGH.

WHERE THE FUCK IS
IAN? HE SHOULD BE HERE.

TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!

WE GOTTA GET TO IT SOME WAY.
WE'VE BEEN ONSTAGE, RIGHT?

WE'RE IN THE GROUP
PLAYING TONIGHT.

YOU GO RIGHT STRAIGHT
THROUGH THIS DOOR HERE,

DOWN THE HALL, TURN RIGHT, YEAH.

AND THEN THERE'S A LITTLE
JOG THERE, ABOUT 30 FEET,

JOG TO THE LEFT. WE
DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT.

GO STRAIGHT AHEAD, TURN
RIGHT AT THE NEXT TWO CORNERS,

AND FIRST DOOR, THERE'S A SIGN,
"AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY."

OPEN THAT DOOR. THAT'S
THE STAGE. YOU THINK SO?

YOU'RE AUTHORIZED. YOU'RE
MUSICIANS, AREN'T YOU?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ROCK 'N' ROLL! ROCK 'N' ROLL!

LET'S GET IT! LET'S GET IT!

THIS WAY? NO, THIS WAY.

STRAIGHT THROUGH. ROCK 'N' ROLL!

HERE WE GO. HELLO,
CLEVELAND! HELLO, CLEVELAND!

YOU MUST HAVE MADE A WRONG TURN.

WE GOTTA GO ANOTHER WAY.

OTHER WAY. OTHER WAY.

I HATE TO KEEP HARPING ON THIS,

BUT I THINK THE NOTION OF A BLACK
ALBUM HAS CURSED US IN A WAY.

WE'RE GETTING SOME VERY
SUBSTANTIAL REPORTS OF AIRPLAY.

I DON'T THINK WE HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.

IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN BETTER IF
THE ALBUM HAD BEEN MIXED RIGHT.

NO USE CRYING OVER THAT.
OF COURSE, THAT'S TRUE.

IT JUST WASN'T... IT
WAS MIXED ALL WRONG.

IT WAS MIXED WRONG?
WERE YOU THERE?

SHE'S HEARD THE RECORD.

OH, SO YOUR JUDGMENT
IS IT WAS MIXED WRONG.

YOU COULDN'T HEAR THE LYRICS.

YOU DON'T AGREE?

NO, I DO NOT AGREE,
NO. WELL, I THINK MAYBE...

IT'S INTERESTING
SHE'S BRINGING IT UP.

SHE'D LIKE TO HEAR THE VOCALS.

IT'S LIKE ME SAYING YOU'RE USING THE
WRONG CONDITIONER FOR YOUR HAIR.

DON'T BE STUPID.
IT LOOKS SO FRIZZY.

YOU DON'T DO HEAVY
METAL IN DUBLY.

IN WHAT? IN WHAT?

IN DUBLY?

IN DUBLY. YOU CAN'T... SHE
MEANS DOLBY, ALL RIGHT?

YOU KNOW PERFECTLY
WELL WHAT SHE MEANS.

YOU SHAN'T RECOVER
FROM THIS ONE.

OH, COME ON. CAN I HAVE
THE FLOOR FOR A MOMENT?

BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOMETHING
I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU.

THESE... JEANINE'S BEEN
WORKING ON THESE VERY HARD.

I'VE GOT NEW IDEAS FOR
A NEW PRESENTATION.

THE STAGE LOOK OF THE BAND,
FASHIONED AFTER THE SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC.

I THOUGHT WE NEEDED
A NEW PRESENTATION.

THIS IS A LOOK FOR VIV. HE'S A
LIBRA. THERE'S THE YIN-YANG LOOK.

THIS IS NIGEL. HE'S CAPRICORN.

SORT OF A GOAT LOOK.
GIVEN YOU A LITTLE BEARD.

IS THIS A JOKE? EXCUSE
ME. IS THIS A JOKE?

JUST BEAR WITH US FOR
ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.

THIS... I LOVE THIS. I
WISH I WERE CANCER.

THAT'S ATTRACTIVE.
THIS IS YOUR CRAB FACE.

GIVE IT A CHANCE.
GIVE IT A CHANCE.

DAVID, WAIT, PLEASE.
WAIT A MINUTE.

HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
WHAT IT WILL COST...

TO DRESS UP THE BAND AS ANIMALS?

IT DON'T COST NOTHING.
THEY'RE SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC.

IT'S A WAY TO FIGHT THE DRABS.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT THE DRABS.

THAT'S TRUE. I THINK MINE
WOULD LOOK BETTER IN DUBLY.

OH, SHUT UP!

ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE NOT
QUITE OPEN-MINDED ENOUGH.

THERE ARE SOLUTIONS
TO OUR PROBLEMS.

I THINK WE KNOW WHAT THEY
ARE. I'VE YET TO HEAR THEM.

WE CAN TAKE A RATIONAL APPROACH.

WE CAN SAY...

I'VE GOT A SUGGESTION.
LET'S HEAR YOUR SUGGESTION.

STONEHENGE. STONEHENGE.

WHAT ABOUT IT? BEST PRODUCTION
VALUE WE'VE EVER HAD ON STAGE.

WE HAVEN'T GOT THE EQUIPMENT.
WE HAVEN'T GOT STONEHENGE.

PLEASE. PLEASE. JUST A MOMENT.

NO PROBLEMS MUSICALLY. WE GO
RIGHT ONSTAGE, AND IT'S QUITE SIMPLE.

YOU KNOW, IAN CAN
TAKE CARE OF THIS.

WE DON'T HAVE THAT PIECE
OF SCENERY ANYMORE.

I KNOW, SO WE BUILD A
NEW ONE, AND THIS IS IT.

CONSIDER IT DONE.

YOU'RE JUST GONNA
TAKE CARE OF IT LIKE THAT?

YOU'RE GOING TO FIND SOMEONE TO
DESIGN IT USING THAT AS THE PLANS?

LET'S TRY. IF YOU CAN
DO IT, I'LL DO THE NUMBER.

DO YOU FEEL THAT IN
COLLABORATION WITH DAVID...

THAT YOU ARE AFFORDED THE OPPORTUNITY
TO EXPRESS YOURSELF MUSICALLY...

THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO?

I THINK I DO, YOU
KNOW, IN MY SOLOS.

MY SOLOS ARE MY TRADEMARK.

THIS LOOKS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.

IT'S THE RIGHT PROPORTION.

IT'LL BE THIS
COLOR, RIGHT? YEAH.

THAT'S JUST TERRIFIC. IT ALMOST
LOOKS LIKE THE REAL THING.

GOT IT. YEAH.

WHEN WE GET THE ACTUAL
SET, WHEN WE GET THE PIECE,

IT'LL FOLLOW EXACTLY
THESE SPECIFICATIONS?

I MEAN, EVEN THESE
CONTOURS AND EVERYTHING?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
YOU. THE ACTUAL PIECE?

- WELL, WHEN YOU BUILD
THE ACTUAL PIECE.
- BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR.

WHAT? THIS IS THE PIECE.

THIS IS THE PIECE? YES.

ARE YOU TELLING
ME THAT THIS IS IT?

THIS IS SCENERY?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
TO STONEHENGE?

THE TRIPTYCHS ARE 20-FEET HIGH.

YOU CAN STAND
FOUR MEN UP ON THEM.

I WAS ASKED TO BUILD
SOMETHING EIGHTEEN INCHES HIGH.

LOOK. THIS IS WHAT I
WAS ASKED TO BUILD.

EIGHTEEN INCHES. RIGHT HERE.
IT'S SPECIFIED. EIGHTEEN INCHES.

I WAS GIVEN THIS NAPKIN.
FORGET THIS. FUCK THE NAPKIN!

IN ANCIENT TIMES...

HUNDREDS OF YEARS
BEFORE THE DAWN OF HISTORY,

LIVED AN ANCIENT
RACE OF PEOPLE...

THE DRUIDS.

NO ONE KNOWS WHO THEY WERE...

OR WHAT THEY WERE DOING,

BUT THEIR LEGACY REMAINS.

HEWN...

INTO THE LIVING ROCK...

OF STONEHENGE.

♪ STONEHENGE WHERE
THE DEMONS DWELL ♪

♪ WHERE THE BANSHEES
LIVE AND THEY DO LIVE WELL ♪

♪ STONEHENGE
WHERE A MAN IS A MAN ♪

♪ AND THE CHILDREN
DANCE TO THE PIPES OF PAN ♪

♪ AND YOU, MY LOVE ♪

♪ WON'T YOU TAKE MY HAND ♪

♪ WE'LL GO BACK IN TIME ♪

♪ TO THAT MYSTIC LAND ♪

♪ WHERE THE DEWDROPS CRY ♪

♪ AND THE CATS MEOW ♪

♪ I WILL TAKE YOU THERE ♪

♪ I WILL SHOW YOU HOW ♪♪

AND, OH, HOW THEY DANCED...

THE LITTLE CHILDREN
OF STONEHENGE...

BENEATH THE HAUNTED MOON.

FOR FEAR THAT DAYBREAK...

MIGHT COME TOO SOON.

I DO NOT THINK THE
PROBLEM WAS THAT THE BAND

WAS DOWN. I THINK THE
PROBLEM MAY HAVE BEEN...

THAT THERE WAS A STONEHENGE MONUMENT
ON THE STAGE THAT WAS IN DANGER...

OF BEING CRUSHED BY A DWARF.

ALL RIGHT, THAT TENDED TO UNDERSTATE
THE HUGENESS OF THE OBJECT.

I THINK YOU'RE MAKING
TOO BIG A THING OUT OF IT.

MAKING A BIG THING OUT OF IT
WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD IDEA.

NIGEL GAVE ME A DRAWING THAT SAID 18
INCHES. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

WHETHER HE KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN FEET AND INCHES IS NOT MY PROBLEM.

I DO WHAT I'M TOLD. BUT YOU'RE
NOT AS CONFUSED AS HIM, ARE YOU?

I MEAN, IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO
BE AS CONFUSED AS NIGEL IS.

IT'S MY JOB TO DO
WHAT I'M ASKED TO DO BY

THE CREATIVE ELEMENT
OF THIS BAND, AND I DID.

THE AUDIENCE WERE LAUGHING.
SO IT BECAME A COMEDY NUMBER.

YES, IT DID. IT FUCKING
WELL DID, AND IT WAS

NOT PLEASANT TO BE PART
OF THE COMEDY ONSTAGE.

BACKSTAGE, PERHAPS
IT WAS VERY AMUSING.

MAYBE WE JUST FIX THE
CHOREOGRAPHY, KEEP THE DWARF CLEAR.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? SO
THEY WON'T TROD UPON IT.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE ISSUE. I THINK
IT'S SYMPTOMATIC OF TAKING ON MORE...

THAN YOU CAN, UH, HANDLE.

IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME
YOU'VE MESSED THINGS UP, IS IT?

I MEAN, THERE HAVE BEEN SOME
GAPING HOLES IN THE BUSINESS END, THIS...

EXCUSE ME. THIS IS A
BAND MEETING, RIGHT?

ARE YOU HERE FOR SOME REASON?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. SHE'S WITH ME.

IS SHE NOW IN THE BAND? IS SHE
SINGING BACKUP OR SOMETHING?

I CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO
THE BAND. SHE'S WITH ME.

DAVID, WHENEVER A SINGLE BUMP OR A RUFFLE
COMES INTO THIS ADOLESCENT FANTASY WORLD...

YOU GUYS HAVE BUILT
AROUND YOURSELF,

DON'T KNOCK IT. YOU START SCREAMIN'
LIKE A BUNCH OF PONCEY HAIRDRESSERS.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST A PROBLEM, YOU
KNOW? IT GETS SOLVED. IT DOESN'T.

YOU CAN'T LIVE IN A BUBBLE. IF IT
GOT SOLVED, THAT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT.

BUT IT DOESN'T GET SOLVED. I MEAN,
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED OUT THERE?

- WHAT GOT SOLVED TONIGHT?
- FOR ONE THING THAT GOES WRONG,

ONE SINGLE THING, A
HUNDRED THINGS GO RIGHT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I
SPEND MY TIME DOING? WHAT?

I SLEEP TWO OR THREE HOURS A NIGHT.
THERE'S NO SEX AND DRUGS FOR IAN, DAVID.

YOU KNOW WHAT I DO? I
FIND LOST LUGGAGE. YES.

I LOCATE MANDOLIN STRINGS IN THE
MIDDLE OF AUSTIN. WE'VE SEEN YOU DO IT.

I "PRISE" THE RENT OUT OF THE
LOCAL HEBREWS. THAT'S WHAT I DO.

GET SOMEONE ELSE
TO FIND LUGGAGE,

AND CONCENTRATE ON
WHAT'S GOING ON ONSTAGE.

YOU'D LIKE ME TO BE
ROAD MANAGER? NO.

ALL BAD BLOOD
ASIDE... NO. COULD WE...

WHAT DAVE IS TRYING TO SAY, IF
YOU'D LET HIM GET A WORD THROUGH,

IS YOU COULD MAYBE DO
WITH SOME HELP. SOME HELP?

MANAGING THE BAND. IT'S
THAT CLEAR. IT'S VERY SIMPLE.

MAYBE THERE'S SOMEONE
ALREADY IN THE ORGANIZATION.

WE DON'T HAVE TO PAY INSURANCE. WE
DON'T HAVE TO PAY EXTRA ROOM, ETCETERA.

SINCE SHE'S ALREADY HERE,
SHE'S ALREADY AMONG US.

- AND SHE'S PERFECTLY CAPABLE
OF TAKING OVER.
- "SHE"? WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE. WHO DO
YOU THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT?

I WOULD NEVER HAVE
DREAMED IN A MILLION

YEARS THAT IT WAS HER
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.

- WHY NOT?
- I AM OFFERING TO HELP OUT HERE.

NO. YOU'RE NOT OFFERING TO HELP OUT. YOU'RE
OFFERING TO COMANAGE THE BAND WITH ME.

IS THAT IT?

YES. IN SO MANY -
WORDS, THAT IS EXACTLY IT.

I'M CERTAINLY NOT GONNA COMANAGE WITH SOME
GIRL JUST BECAUSE SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

"GIRLFRIEND," IS IT? YOU COULDN'T
MANAGE A CLASSROOM FULL OF KIDS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING
MANAGING A BAND. WHY DON'T WE JUST...

LOOK. I... I... THIS IS
MY POSITION, OKAY?

I AM NOT MANAGING IT WITH YOU
OR ANY OTHER WOMAN, GOOD. RIGHT.

ESPECIALLY ONE WHO DRESSES
LIKE AN AUSTRALIAN'S NIGHTMARE.

SO FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL
OF YOU. FUCK YOU TOO.

BECAUSE I QUIT, ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S IT. GOOD NIGHT.

CAN I RAISE A PRACTICAL QUESTION AT THIS
POINT? ARE WE GONNA DO STONEHENGE TOMORROW?

NO, WE'RE NOT GONNA
FUCKING DO STONEHENGE!

OKAY, WE'RE ALL SET.
THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, FELLAS.

I GOT THE TICKETS. WE'RE
ON THE 3:10 FLIGHT AT GATE 24.

AND THIS ARRIVES AT 4:00 IN COLORADO.
THEN WE GOT A LIMO TO TAKE US TO THE LODGE.

IT'S ABOUT A HUNDRED YARDS
FROM RAINBOW TROUT STUDIO.

WHAT I'VE DONE IS TO ARRANGE
A WHOLE LOAD OF CHARTS.

THIS IS SO GREAT. WE KNOW
THE BAND'S SIGN IS VIRGO.

YOU SEE, SATURN'S IN THE
THIRD HOUSE, AND IT'S A BIT ROCKY.

BUT BECAUSE VIRGO IS ONE OF THE MOST
HIGHLY INTELLIGENT SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC,

WE'RE GONNA PULL THROUGH
THIS WITH GREAT APLOMB.

YEAH. HAS SOMEONE NOT GOT ONE?

IT'S SO CLEAR, IT REALLY IS. NIGEL
HASN'T GOT ONE. WE GOT PAGES FOR YOU.

HE'S GOT ONE. HE'S GOT
IT. HAVE A LOOK AT THIS.

THINK ABOUT WHAT A JUMBLE A TOUR
BOOK USUALLY IS. HE DOESN'T WANT IT?

HE'S GOT ONE. OH, HE'S GOT ONE?

WHAT I WANT TO EXPLAIN
TO YOU IS THAT DENVER...

HOW WOULD YOU CHARACTERIZE YOUR
RELATIONSHIP WITH DAVID OVER THE YEARS?

HAS IT CHANGED IN
ANY WAY? NOT REALLY.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE GROWN
UP, BUT REALLY IT'S NOT...

NO. NOT REALLY. WE FEEL LIKE
CHILDREN MUCH OF THE TIME,

EVEN WHEN WE'RE PLAYING.

WE'RE CLOSER THAN BROTHERS,
'CAUSE BROTHERS ALWAYS FIGHT,

SORT OF, DISAGREEMENTS
AND ALL THAT.

WE REALLY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP
THAT'S WAY, WAY PAST THAT.

♪♪

♪♪

HE CAN'T PLAY THE FUCKING GUITAR
ANYMORE. YOU KNOW THE PARTS.

NO, HE DOESN'T. IF HE KNEW THE FUCKING
PART, HE'D PLAY IT, WOULDN'T HE? THAT'S IT.

- ARE YOU WALKING OUT? GREAT.
- JUST TELL ME WHAT WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO DO, ALL RIGHT?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PLAY
THE FUCKIN' THING, AREN'T WE?

WE HAVE NO CHOICE. WE SPENT AN
HOUR AND A HALF... I'M DOING MY PART.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD
MAKE THIS A LOT SIMPLER?

I MEAN, I HATE TO
CUT RIGHT TO IT HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU PLAY THIS ALONE, WITHOUT
SOME FUCKING ANGEL HANGING OVER YOUR HEAD?

JESUS CHRIST. THIS IS
FUCKIN' ALL WE NEED.

YOU CAN'T FUCKING CONCENTRATE
BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING WIFE.

SIMPLE AS THAT, ALL RIGHT? IT'S
YOUR FUCKING WIFE. SHE'S NOT MY WIFE.

WELL, WHATEVER THE FUCK
SHE IS, YOU CAN'T CONCENTRATE.

WE CAN'T FUCKING DO THE
TRACK. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

NO, IT'S NOT UNBELIEVABLE AT
ALL. IT ALL LEADS TO UP TO THIS.

IT ALL LEADS UP TO THIS. AM I LOSING MY
FUCKING MIND? COULD YOU CHECK ME ON THIS?

AM I LOSING MY MIND? I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH ANYTHING.

WE'RE VERY LUCKY, IN A SENSE, THAT
WE'VE GOT TWO VISIONARIES IN THE BAND.

YOU KNOW, DAVID AND
NIGEL ARE BOTH LIKE...

UH, LIKE POETS... LIKE SHELLEY
OR BYRON OR PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

THEY'RE TWO TOTALLY
DISTINCT TYPES OF VISIONARIES.

IT'S LIKE FIRE AND ICE,
BASICALLY. MM-HMM.

I FEEL MY ROLE IN THE BAND IS TO
BE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT,

KIND OF LIKE LUKEWARM
WATER IN A SENSE.

I DON'T THINK WE'VE GOT
TIME TO GO TO THE HOTEL.

I THINK YOU'D BETTER
GO STRAIGHT TO THE BASE.

TO THE WHAT? THE GIG.

YEAH, TO THE BASE. TO
THE CIVIC ARENA, RIGHT?

- THAT FELL THROUGH.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WAIT A SECOND. HOLD IT. DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS, AND WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WE'RE GOING TO THE AIR FORCE BASE.

WHY ARE WE GOING TO AN AIR FORCE
BASE? THE ORIGINAL GIG FELL THROUGH.

♪♪

OH, ARE YOU LIEUTENANT
HOOKSTRATTEN? HOOKSTRATTEN.

YOU ARE SPINAL "TARP"? I'M JEANINE
PETTIBONE, AND THIS IS SPINAL TAP.

SPINAL TAP. MY MISTAKE.
I'M BOB HOOKSTRATTEN.

WELCOME TO LINDBERGH
AIR FORCE BASE.

IS THIS YOUR FIRST VISIT
TO A MILITARY FACILITY?

YEAH. FINE. MAY I START BY SAYING
HOW THRILLED WE ARE TO HAVE YOU HERE?

WE ARE SUCH FANS OF YOUR
MUSIC AND ALL OF YOUR RECORDS.

THAT'S GREAT. NOT YOURS PERSONALLY,
BUT THE WHOLE GENRE OF ROCK 'N' ROLL...

AND SO MANY OF THE EXCITING
THINGS HAPPENING IN MUSIC TODAY.

AND LET ME EXPLAIN A
BIT ABOUT WHAT'S GOING

ON. THIS IS OUR MONTHLY
"AT EASE" WEEKEND.

IT GIVES US A CHANCE
TO KIND OF LET DOWN OUR

HAIR, ALTHOUGH I SEE
YOU HAVE A HEAD START.

THESE HAIRCUTS WOULDN'T
PASS MILITARY MUSTER, BELIEVE ME.

ALTHOUGH I SHOULDN'T TALK. MY
HAIR'S GETTING A LITTLE SHAGGY TOO.

BETTER NOT GET TOO CLOSE TO YOU.
THEY'LL THINK I'M PART OF THE BAND.

I'M JOKING, OF COURSE. SHALL WE
GO IN, AND I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND?

WALK THIS WAY, PLEASE,
RIGHT THROUGH HERE.

DID YOU EVER RUN INTO A MUSICAL
GROUP... WORKS OUT OF KANSAS CITY,

CALLS THEMSELVES
"FOUR JACKS AND A JILL"?

THEY'VE BEEN AT A RAMADA
INN THERE FOR ABOUT

18 MONTHS. IF YOU'RE
EVER IN KANSAS CITY...

AND YOU WANNA HEAR SOME GOOD
MUSIC, YOU MIGHT WANNA DROP BY.

UH, I WOULD LIKE TO GET THE PLAYING ON
ABOUT 1900 HOURS, IF THAT'S SATISFACTORY.

WHEN WOULD THAT BE? I MAKE
IT NOW... IT'S ABOUT 1830 HOURS.

- SO, THAT'S WHAT? FIFTY HOURS?
- HUNDRED AND TWENTY HOURS?

THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT 30 MINUTES, ABOUT
A HALF HOUR, GIVE OR TAKE A FEW MINUTES.

I DON'T WANNA RUSH YOU. THE IDEA IS
WE CAN GET IT ON AND GET IT OVER WITH.

AND I HAVE JUST ONE REQUEST. WOULD YOU PLAY
A COUPLE OF SLOW NUMBERS SO I CAN DANCE?

♪ WORKING ON A SEX FARM ♪

♪ PLOWING THROUGH
YOUR BEAN FIELD ♪

♪ GETTIN' OUT MY PITCHFORK ♪

♪ POKIN' YOUR HAY ♪

♪ SEX FARM WOMAN I'M
GONNA MOW YOU DOWN ♪

♪ SEX FARM WOMAN I'LL
RAKE AND MOW YOU DOWN ♪

- ♪ SEX FARM WOMAN ♪
- ♪ DON'T YOU SEE MY SILO
RISIN' HIGH ♪

♪ HIGH, HIGH, HIGH, HIGH ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ WORKING ON A SEX FARM ♪♪

HE TOTALLY RUINED THE
GIG. HE WALKS OFF AND THEN...

HE CAN'T SIT HOME AND GET MONEYS.
WE GOTTA GET SOMEONE ELSE IN THERE.

HAS HE EVER DONE THIS BEFORE? HAS
HE EVER... QUIT THE BAND BEFORE? NO.

NO, BUT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND
THAT IN THE WORLD OF ROCK 'N' ROLL,

THERE ARE CERTAIN CHANGES
THAT SOMETIMES OCCUR.

AND YOU'VE JUST GOT TO
SORT OF ROLL WITH THEM.

YOU'VE READ... YOU
SAW EXACTLY HOW MANY

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN IN
THIS BAND OVER THE YEARS.

THIRTY-SEVEN PEOPLE HAVE
BEEN IN THIS BAND OVER THE YEARS.

I MEAN, IT'S LIKE SIX MONTHS FROM
NOW, I CAN'T SEE MYSELF MISSING NIGE...

ANY MORE THAN I MIGHT MISS ROSS
MCLACHNESS, RONNIE PUDDING, DANNY UPUM...

OR LITTLE DANNY
SCHINDLER OR ANY OF THOSE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT,

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
LUMPING NIGEL IN WITH,

YOU KNOW, THESE PEOPLE YOU PLAYED
WITH FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

WELL, I'M SURE I'D FEEL MUCH WORSE
IF I WEREN'T UNDER HEAVY SEDATION.

BUT STILL, IN ALL, YOU GOTTA BE
REALISTIC ABOUT THIS SORT OF THING.

SO WHAT HAPPENS TO THE BAND NOW?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE'S
NOT COMING BACK, OR...

NO. WE SHAN'T WORK
TOGETHER AGAIN.

OH, NO. GREAT.

IF I TOLD HIM ONCE, I TOLD
HIM A HUNDRED TIMES...

TO PUT "SPINAL TAP" FIRST
AND "PUPPET SHOW" LAST.

- IT'S A MORALE BUILDER,
ISN'T IT?
- YOU GOT A BIG DRESSING ROOM.

WHAT? YOU GOT A
BIG DRESSING ROOM.

OH, WE'VE GOT A BIGGER DRESSING ROOM
THAN THE PUPPETS? THAT'S REFRESHING.

I'VE GOT SOME OF THIS MENDOCINO ROCKET
FUEL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY NICE.

CAN YOU PLAY... EXCUSE ME,
BUT CAN YOU PLAY A BASS LINE...

LIKE NIGEL USED
TO ON "BIG BOTTOM"?

CAN YOU DOUBLE THAT?
YOU RECALL THE LINES IT FITS?

OH, YEAH. YEAH, I GOT
TWO HANDS HERE, AND IT'S...

SO THAT'S GOOD. WE
CAN PLAY THAT ONE.

HOLD IS OUT. HEAVY IS OUT.

HEAVY HOLD. HEAVY HOLD. WE KNOW.

"AMERICA" WE CAN'T DO. IT'S
NIGEL'S TUNE. IT'S NOT MY TUNE.

THAT'S A NICE LITTLE SET. THAT'S A COZY
TEN MINUTES. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

- WE GOT NOTHING
TO PLAY HERE. NOTHING.
- TELL YOU WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

WHAT? "JAZZ ODYSSEY."

WE'RE NOT ABOUT TO DO A
FREE-FORM JAZZ EXPLORATION...

IN FRONT OF A FESTIVAL CROWD.

♪♪ YOU ARE WITNESSES
AT THE NEW BIRTH...

OF SPINAL TAP, MARK II.

HOPE YOU ENJOY
OUR NEW DIRECTION.

♪♪

ON THE BASS IS DEREK
SMALLS. HE WROTE THIS.

SO TONIGHT'S THE LAST SHOW
OF THE TOUR. HOW'S THAT FEEL?

IS THIS, LIKE, YOUR LAST WALTZ? ARE
WE TALKING THE END OF SPINAL TAP,

OR ARE YOU GONNA TRY TO MILK IT FOR
A FEW MORE YEARS IN EUROPE? WHAT...

WELL, I DON'T REALLY
THINK THE END...

CAN BE ASSESSED, UH,

AS OF ITSELF AS BEING THE END.

BECAUSE WHAT DOES THE END FEEL
LIKE? IT'S LIKE SAYING WHEN YOU TRY...

AND EXTRAPOLATE THE
END OF THE UNIVERSE.

YOU SAY IF THE UNIVERSE IS INDEED
INFINITE, THEN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

HOW FAR IS ALL THE WAY, AND
THEN IF IT STOPS, WHAT'S STOPPIN' IT?

AND WHAT'S BEHIND WHAT'S STOPPIN' IT?
WHAT'S THE END IS MY QUESTION TO YOU.

IT'S A GOOD CROWD,
GOOD CROWD. IT IS, ISN'T IT?

YEAH, IT REALLY IS. I MEAN, SOME OF THESE
THINGS JUST, YOU KNOW, DON'T MEAN MUCH.

IT'S HARD TO GET AT THE LAST MINUTE.
YOU CAN'T ARRANGE IT OVERNIGHT.

DAVID, WE HAD A
15-YEAR RIDE, MATE.

WHO WANTS TO BE A FUCKIN' 45-YEAR-OLD
ROCK 'N' ROLLER FARTING AROUND...

IN FRONT OF PEOPLE LESS THAN
HALF THEIR AGE... THAT'S SO TRUE.

CRANKING OUT SOME MEDIOCRE
HEAD-BANGING BULLSHIT WE'VE FORGOTTEN.

IT'S BENEATH US. WHO WANTS TO SEE
THAT? THAT'S RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

I MEAN, WE CAN TAKE ALL THOSE PROJECTS
WE THOUGHT WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME FOR...

OH, AT LEAST DOZENS. WE DIDN'T
HAVE TIME FOR 'EM BECAUSE OF TAP...

AND BRING 'EM
BACK TO LIFE MAYBE.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE
WERE... AT THE LUTEN PALACE,

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT A ROCK MUSICAL
BASED ON THE LIFE OF JACK THE RIPPER.

YEAH. SAUCY JACK. SAUCY JACK.
NOW IS THE TIME TO DO THAT.

♪ YOU'RE A NAUGHTY
ONE ♪ ♪ SAUCY JACK ♪

♪ YOU'RE A HAUGHTY
ONE SAUCY JACK ♪♪

RIGHT. IT'S A FREEING UP,
ISN'T IT? IT'S ALL THIS FREE TIME.

SUDDENLY, TIME IS SO ELASTIC.
IT'S A GIFT. IT'S A GIFT OF FREEDOM.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO A
COLLECTION OF MY ACOUSTIC NUMBERS...

WITH THE LONDON
PHILHARMONIC, AS YOU KNOW.

WE'RE LUCKY. PEOPLE
SHOULD BE ENVYING US. YEAH.

I ENVY US. I DO. YEAH. ME TOO.

♪♪

IT'S GONNA BE FINE, ALL RIGHT?

WE'LL MAKE 'EM MISS
US. NICE THOUGHT.

I'M IN. I'M IN TUNE.
LAST TUNING.

I THINK WE SHOULD GO. HUH? I
THINK IT'S TIME TO GO, RIGHT?

READY TO GO? YEAH.

♪♪

COME TO SEE THE SHOW?

YEAH. HI, MATE. NIGE.

SO DID YOU JUST COME HERE TO HANG AROUND
BACKSTAGE LIKE A REAL ROCK 'N' ROLLER?

- IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'?
- I'M REALLY A MESSENGER.

OH, A MESSENGER. YEAH.
I BUMPED INTO IAN, AND...

IAN? OH, THE OTHER
DEAD MAN, YEAH.

SEEMS THAT "SEX FARM"
IS ON THE CHARTS IN JAPAN.

SPINAL TAP'S RECORDING OF "SEX FARM."
IT WAS NUMBER FIVE LAST WEEK, ACTUALLY.

AND SO HE ASKED ME...

TO ASK YOU, TAP,

IF YOU'D BE INTERESTED
IN REFORMING...

AND DOING A TOUR IN JAPAN.

SO YOU'VE COME BACK TO RE-PLUG
OUR LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS IN, IS THAT IT?

BY THE GRACE OF YOUR... BY THE STROKE OF
YOUR HAND... IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO?

YOU'RE GONNA BRING US BACK TO LIFE?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'VE COME HERE FOR?

NO. I'VE COME. DON'T YOU...

FUCKING NERVE
YOU DISPLAY IN COM...

THAT'S JUST PASSING ON
THE INFORMATION, REALLY.

YEAH, WELL, IT'S TIME TO GO IN. WE HAVEN'T
GOT TIME TO DISCUSS THIS NOW. COME ON.

RIGHT?

DAVID?

DO A GOOD SHOW, ALL RIGHT?

YEAH. OKAY.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ LITTLE GIRL IT'S A
GREAT BIG WORLD ♪

♪ BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T TOUCH
'CAUSE I COST TOO MUCH ♪

- ♪ BUT TONIGHT
I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
- ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪

♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪

♪ TONIGHT ♪

♪ YOU'RE SWEET BUT
YOU'RE JUST FOUR FEET ♪

♪ AND YOU STILL GOT
YOUR BABY TEETH ♪

♪ YOU'RE TOO YOUNG
AND I'M TOO WELL HUNG ♪

♪ BUT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU
♪ ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪

- ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
- ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪

♪ TONIGHT ♪

♪ OH, YEAH ♪

NIGEL TUFNEL ON LEAD GUITAR!

♪♪

♪ YOU'RE HOT YOU
TAKE ALL WE'VE GOT ♪

♪ NOT A DRY SEAT IN THE HOUSE ♪

♪ NEXT DAY WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY ♪

♪ BUT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU
♪ ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪

- ♪ YEAH, TONIGHT
I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
- ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪

♪ TONIGHT ♪

♪ LITTLE GIRL IT'S A GREAT BIG
WORLD BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ♪

♪♪

DO YOU FEEL THAT PLAYING
ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC...

KEEPS YOU A CHILD... THAT IS, KEEPS YOU
IN A STATE OF ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT?

NO. NO. I FEEL IT'S MORE LIKE GOING
TO A NATIONAL PARK OR SOMETHING,

AND THEY PRESERVE THE MOOSE.

AND THAT'S MY CHILDHOOD UP
THERE ONSTAGE, IS THAT MOOSE.

SO WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING, YOU FEEL
LIKE A PRESERVED MOOSE ONSTAGE? YEAH.

I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THE
CLASSICS. I BELONG TO A GREAT SERIES...

IT'S CALLED "THE NAMESAKE
SERIES"... OF CASSETTES.

AND THEY SEND YOU THE
WORKS OF FAMOUS AUTHORS

DONE BY ACTORS WITH
THE SAME LAST NAME.

SO I'VE GOT DENHOLM ELLIOTT
READING T.S. ELIOT ON THIS ONE.

INTERESTING. I'VE GOT DANNY THOMAS
DOING "A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS IN WALES,"

BY DYLAN THOMAS,
AND NEXT MONTH...

IT'S McLEAN STEVENSON READS
ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON.

TREASURE ISLAND, I BELIEVE. THAT'S
INTERESTING. THAT'S FASCINATING.

THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING... THERE'S
SHORTER WORKS OF WASHINGTON IRVING...

READ BY SOMEONE CALLED DR. J.

OH, THAT'S JULIUS IRVING. THERE
YOU GO. KEEPING WITH THE SERIES.

YOU LIKE THIS? IT'S VERY
NICE. IT LOOKS LIKE HALLOWEEN.

THIS IS MY EXACT INNER
STRUCTURE DONE IN A T-SHIRT.

EXACTLY MEDICALLY ACCURATE. SEE?

SO, IN OTHER WORDS, IF WE WERE
TO TAKE ALL YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD...

TAKE THEM OFF. THIS IS WHAT YOU'D
SEE. IT WOULDN'T BE GREEN, THOUGH.

IT IS GREEN. SEE HOW
YOUR BLOOD LOOKS BLUE?

YEAH, WELL THAT'S JUST THE
VEIN, THE COLOR OF THE VEIN.

THE BLOOD IS ACTUALLY RED.
OH, MAYBE IT'S NOT GREEN.

ANYWAY, THIS IS WHAT
I SLEEP IN SOMETIMES.

DENIS ETON-HOGG, THE
PRESIDENT OF POLYMER RECORDS,

WAS RECENTLY KNIGHTED.

WHAT WERE THE CIRCUMSTANCES
SURROUNDING HIS KNIGHTHOOD?

THE SPECIFIC REASON WHY HE WAS KNIGHTED
WAS FOR THE FOUNDING OF HOGGWOOD,

WHICH IS A SUMMER CAMP
FOR PALE YOUNG BOYS. UH-HUH.

DAVID ST. HUBBINS. I MUST ADMIT, I'VE
NEVER HEARD ANYBODY WITH THAT NAME.

IT'S AN UNUSUAL NAME.
WELL, HE WAS AN UNUSUAL

SAINT. HE'S NOT A VERY
WELL KNOWN SAINT.

OH, THERE ACTUALLY IS... THERE WAS
A ST. HUBBINS? YES. THAT'S RIGHT. YES.

WHAT WAS HE THE SAINT OF? HE WAS
THE PATRON SAINT OF QUALITY FOOTWEAR.

YOU PLAY TO, PREDOMINANTLY...
PREDOMINANTLY, A WHITE AUDIENCE.

DO YOU FEEL YOUR MUSIC
IS RACIST IN ANY WAY?

NO. OF COURSE
NOT. NO. NOT AT ALL.

WE SAY, "LOVE YOUR BROTHER."
WE DON'T SAY IT REALLY, BUT...

WE DON'T LITERALLY SAY IT. WE DON'T
LITERALLY MEAN IT. NO. WE DON'T SAY IT.

NO. WE DON'T BELIEVE IT EITHER,
BUT... BUT WE'RE NOT RACISTS.

THAT MESSAGE SHOULD BE CLEAR.
WE'RE ANYTHING BUT RACISTS.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE GROWN MUSICALLY. YOU LISTEN
TO SOME OF THE RUBBISH WE DID EARLY ON.

IT WAS STUPID. AND
NOW WE'RE... YEAH.

I MEAN, A SONG LIKE "SEX FARM"...
WE'RE TAKING A SOPHISTICATED VIEW...

OF THE IDEA OF SEX AND
MUSIC. AND PUTTING IT ON A FARM.

IF I WERE TO ASK YOU YOUR
PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE OR YOUR CREED,

WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

HAVE A GOOD TIME...

ALL THE TIME.

THAT'S MY PHILOSOPHY, MARTY.

I BELIEVE VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING
I READ, AND I THINK THAT...

IS WHAT MAKES ME MORE SELECTIVE THAN
SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE ANYTHING.

DO YOU HAVE A PHILOSOPHY
OR A CREED YOU LIVE BY?

WELL, PERSONALLY,

I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT SEX,
DRUGS AND ROCK 'N' ROLL. YEAH.

IF YOU WERE TO HAVE SOMETHING
WRITTEN AS YOUR EPITAPH?

"HERE LIES DAVID ST. HUBBINS"...

AND "WHY NOT?"

THAT SUMS UP YOUR LIFE? NO. IT'S
THE FIRST THING I COULD THINK OF.

OH, I SEE. YEAH. IT DOESN'T
SUM UP ANYTHING, REALLY.

I'M A REAL FISH NUT.
I REALLY LIKE FISH.

WHAT KIND OF FISH? WELL, IN
THE UNITED STATES, YOU HAVE COD.

I LIKE COD, AND I LOVE TUNA.

THOSE LITTLE CANS YOU'VE GOT
HERE... TUNA FISH... I LOVE THAT.

NO BONES. YEAH.

IF YOU COULD NOT PLAY ROCK
'N' ROLL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

I'D BE A FULL-TIME DREAMER.

PROBABLY GET A BIT STUPID...

AND START TO MAKE A
FOOL OF MYSELF IN PUBLIC,

'CAUSE THERE WOULDN'T
BE A STAGE TO GO ON.

PROBABLY WORK WITH CHILDREN.

AS LONG AS THERE'S SEX AND DRUGS,
I CAN DO WITHOUT ROCK 'N' ROLL.

I SUPPOSE I COULD WORK
IN A SHOP OF SOME KIND...

OR DO FREELANCE SELLING...

OF SOME SORT OF PRODUCT.

A SALESMAN? A SALESMAN,
LIKE, MAYBE IN A HABERDASHER...

OR MAYBE LIKE A CHAPEAU
SHOP OR SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW, "WHAT SIZE DO YOU
WEAR, SIR?" AND THEN YOU ANSWER ME.

SEVEN AND A QUARTER.
I THINK WE HAVE THAT.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT I COULD DO. DO YOU
THINK YOU'D BE HAPPY DOING SOMETHING...

"NO. WE'RE ALL OUT.
DO YOU WEAR BLACK?"

SEE, THAT SORT OF THING I
THINK I COULD MUSTER UP.

DO YOU THINK YOU'D
BE HAPPY DOING THAT?

I DON'T KNOW. WHAT
ARE THE HOURS?