This Is Happening (2015) - full transcript

♪ Music

estelle: Life is filled
with heartbreak

and assholes.

Like this kid.

And me.

I wasn't always
like this,

wearing my resentment
like an old robe.

But then the people
you love die.

Even your dog dies.

So when your
grandchildren show up

to dump you in a home,



you can cinch your robe
even tighter

or take it off and let
your tits fly free!

- Ow! Mommy!

♪ You're older than
you've ever been...

♪ And now you're
even older...

♪ And now you're
even older...

♪ And now you're
even older...

♪ You're older than
you've ever been...

♪ And now you're
even older...

♪ And now you're
older still...

♪ Time is marching on...

♪ And time is still
marching on...

♪ This day will soon
be at an end...

♪ And now it's
even sooner...



♪ And now it's
even sooner...

♪ And now it's
even sooner...

♪ This day will soon
be at an end...

♪ And now it's even sooner...

♪ And now it's
sooner still...

Philip: Good morning.

Wakey, wakey.

Ashley: Oh, your breath...

- I haven't
brushed my teeth yet.

Just, no big deal.

No big deal.

Here I am.

Here I go.

All right.

- Um...
- Where you goin'?

- Can you--

- can i--

I thought that
you were on...

- I'm on my last day.

Just ignore the string.

- Okay.

- You're the best.

Will you do
the alphabet?

Don't answer it.

- Philip!

- Sorry. Sorry, but...

There's someone
knocking at the door.

- Are you fucking
kidding me?

- What do you want
me to do Ashley?

- Dad, hello!

- You're okay.

I was starting to
get worried when I

didn't hear from you.

Ashley: Come right in.

- You didn't hear
from me when?

When did you call, dad?

- Yesterday. And
the day before.

And the day before that.

- He can't stay, Philip.

- I know. I know.

Hey listen,
you can't stay.

- Why would I want to?

- Because that's usually
what happens

every time you show up.

It's 9:00 A.M.

- I spoke to the weinstein
woman at the home.

She's expecting
you Friday morning.

- She's-- me?

- That should give
you enough time

to convince estelle.

- I thought that we agreed
that you were

taking care of this.

- No, we did not.
- She's your mother.

- And your grandmother.

- Come on!

They're expecting
me Friday?

- You're not
doing this for me.

You're doing
this for her.

- Whatever you say.

- You're a good kid.

I gotta go.

Put a muscle on that one.

- Thanks for--thanks
for swinging by.

♪ I never thought that
I would grow so old...

♪ I've seen the cup, still
never wanted to grow...

♪ I would hold it up
to my cold heart...

♪ Feel the way it
used to start up...

♪ Take it back, t-t-
take it back...

♪ To the way
that I was before...

♪ Longing for what
was to come...

♪ Now I'm longing for
the way I was...

- Megan: What do you
want, Ashley?

- Do you want to give me
one good reason why you

can't be the one driving
to palm Springs

for this estelle thing?

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- You know Philip has to
take extra days off work

while you sit around on
your ass all day smoking

pot watching zebras hump--

- you know, I'd love to sit
here and discuss Philip and

my grandmother and how to
erase you completely from

my life, but I'm kind
of in the middle of

something right now so
I'll talk to you later,

okay? Bye bye.

- Meg...

Little bitch.

Palm Springs?

- Is that the
last water?

- I don't know.

You know what? Here.

Take this one, and I'll
get some more on the way.

- I'd say have fun but...

- Yeah, I know.

I'll call you
when I get there.

- Whatever!

- Love you!

- Wow...

The whole family's just
poppin' by this week.

- I never noticed
your kankels.

- I never realized how
much you look like a hobo.

- Don't get
hit by a bus.

- This whole fuckin'
family is driving me crazy.

- Palm Springs.

- Oh, why are you here?

- You think I'm gonna
pass up a free trip?

- Is that what
you think this is?

- Nope. It's an ambush.

- Seriously,
why are you here?

- You're gonna
need my help.

- Almost heaven.

- I know. It's
nice, right?

- No, I mean literally,

it's like god's waiting room.

- Well, it's not
for us to decide.

- The second you even
bring it up,

she's gonna ship
your ass back to L.A.

- Which is why we need to
handle this delicately.

- Right. Just hit
her over the head

when she's not looking.

- Why do you even care?

- Who said I cared?

I'm just along
for the ride.

- It's not that
long of a drive.

Proceed on this
route for 113 miles.

- Long enough.

- Sorry, there was wind.

- Don't...don't touch me.

GPS voice: In 500 feet,
turn right.

- I think we're lost.

Megan. Wake up.

- What?

- What address did
you put into the GPS?

GPS voice: You have arrived.

- This is completely
ass backwards.

We're in the
middle of nowhere.

We're in hellsville.

We're with the pimps and
the prostitutes here.

- Just shut up.

- What's going on here?

What is this?

- Groovie: Yo to
the yo ho ho!

- Unlock the door.

- Who is this?

- Just-- Philip!

- What's up, bro?

- Unlock the door!

Thank you.

Whassup, gruvinder?

- It's groovie now, baby.
Whassup wit you?

- Groovy.

Thanks for doing this.

This is my brother.

- Yo, whassup brother?

- Yo.

- Can you give
us a minute?

- And go where?

- I don't know.

Call your girlfriend.

Give us a minute.

- You have a minute.
Make it quick.

You're an idiot!

- You got the shit?

- Yo, slow
your roll, girl.

Where's the romance?

Come inside.
Let's catch up.

I got samosas.

- I've gotta go
see my grandmother.

- I remember her.
She crazy.

- What's up?

- Yo, check this out.

Your bag is right
here in the back.

All right?

Got a little
something for you.

Now remember, anybody
catches you with this

shit right here, it's
five years minimum.

You got it?

- Yeah, I know. I got
a prescription.

- Not for weight
like this, girl.

It's 15 grand a kind.

- I'll be fine.

- Yo, listen. We go way back,

but if you get pinched
and you start

chirping about me,
then we're gonna have

some serious problems.

- All right. Cut the tough
guy crap, gruvinder.

"Groovie."

You were a national
spelling bee champion.

- Runner up,
but I was robbed.

- Peripatetic.

- P-e-

fuck you, Megan!

Yo, if you ever want to
play tennis sometimes,

give me a ring,
all right?

- Yeah, I'll do that.

Thank you!

- Hoe!

- Whoa, keep an eye
on her, all right.

- Okay.

- Ladies!

- What?

His shit is kind.

- Just go back to sleep.

- You know what,
actually a good idea.

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Piece of shit rental!

- What happened
to yours?

- Ashley crashed it.

- So you rented this?

- I'm low on funds.

Would you shut up!

Just--

- Now what? Huh?

- That's a little
embarrassing.

- Oh! Okay.

- All right.

Hi, hi, hi, estelle.

- Do I even ask?

- We got lost.

- Uh-huh. Get in the car.

- Okay.

- Can you pop the trunk?

- Pop it yourself!

Come on! We're already
late for flicker's.

- You look great.

How's everything been?

- Don't try to sweet talk me.

- I love those glasses.

- Shut the fuck up.

- I never thought
I'd see you again.

- That makes two of us.

- How much your father
pay to get you

out here this time?

- Not enough.

- And yet, here you are.

- Here I am.

- I'm telling you, I
will be counting the days

until my next
appointment.

- All right. Well
we'll see you then.

- You got a real
winner here, doc.

Yeah...

Okay, sweetheart.

Oh, here we go.

- Of all the doctors
in palm Springs,

you have to come to mine.

- Yeah, that's
right estelle.

The truth is I only
have shin splints,

but I chose to have the
hip replaced just so

I could come to your
doctor and haunt you.

- Very repulsive.

- I've petitioned the
homeowners association

about your yard again.

- I can turn my yard
into a sand pit

if I want.

- Oh, no you can't.

- Oh, yes I can.

- Oh, no you can't.

- Oh, yes I can.

- Oh, no you can't.

- Drop dead, Cal.

- Oh, no please
estelle, you first.

- Come on kids, let's
get something to eat.

We'll let flicker
probe me later.

- Sounds good.

- We're liable to catch
something just hanging

around this putz.

- It's plotz, with
a "p" like piss off!

Did you see that?

- You really think that
you should be

eating like this?

- You're right.

I should be on a diet
working on my figure.

Find a job yet?

- I've been working for
the gap corporation.

- He folds shirts
at banana Republic.

- Big demand for engineers
in retail these days.

- You know
what happened.

- You should have
sued like I told you.

- I couldn't
sue my friends.

- Why? Are the
people who stole

your idea your friends?

- It's a little more
complicated than that.

- Totally. His girlfriend
still works there.

- How can she
still work there?

- There is no point
in both of us

not having a job.

- Sounds like
a scab to me.

- Total scab. And skank.

- Don't even go
there, Meg.

- He gets very defensive

when I talk about his
shnookie wookie.

- At least I
have someone.

- Yep, that's one way
of looking at it.

- What is that
supposed to mean?

- I don't know.

You're the app
creator. Why--

- can you two
please just shush it!

You're here five minutes
and it's like my ears are

about to shit blood.

- That's disgusting.

- Yes, it is.

♪ I've been waiting...

♪ Waiting and wishing...

♪ Wishing and hoping...

♪ Hoping you'll come alive...

- Ralph?

- She fucking stuffed him?

- Oh, my god.

Megan, don't touch it.

- How is it
going, Ralph?

- Please stop.

Just don't pick
up the dog.

- Hey Philly the kid, it's
ruff, ruff, ralphie boy!

- Ha, ha, ha!
Put the dog down.

- Probably won't be
joining me up here

for a while, but when
you do, you, me and

your dead mom are gonna
play a whole lot of fetch.

- That's twisted.

- What do you
think you're doing?

- I should be asking
you the same question.

- For your information,
I'm taking him

back to twin Brooks.

- Oh, yeah? When?

- I'll tell you when.

None of your goddamn
business.

- Don't you think a trip
like that may be

a little stressful?

- Would you rather I
stick around like

the old farts and die?

- No. No.

But you know it's a lot.

It's a big trip.

- I promised him I'd
take him back to where

we used to do our walks.

- Seattle is just really
kind of far from here.

- What are you,
Google maps?

Don't worry how
far Seattle is.

And don't you touch him.

Leave him alone.

- Real smooth, Philip.

- I'm going for a run.

- Oh!

- Hey.

- Hey.

- What are you doing?

- I thought my deodorant
fell out of my bag,

but I guess I must
have left it at home.

Your loss.

Nice jog?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- It doesn't even seem
like she needs a home.

- That's gross.

- She yells, right?
She drives.

- She collapses
in the shower.

Hey!

- Hey...is that?

- Yeah.

- Estelle told me she
threw this out.

- Yet it was under your
nose all these years.

- I scared a lot of old
people with this thing.

- You were a freak show.

I mean in a good way.

- Dad should be the one
handling this estelle

thing. It's his mother.

- Well, you're the
daddy now Philip.

Remember?

- Ashley will know
what to do.

She must be at work.

- Or fucking one
of your friends.

- That's usually your
department, remember?

- Excuse me?

- Oh, I'm sorry is
that offensive to you?

- Take that back.

- Believe me,
I wish I could.

- You're a
fucking asshole.

- So sensitive.

- I need you to
run to the pharmacy,

pick up my prescription.

- Are you okay?

- Just go.

- Okay, sit down
for a second.

- Goddamn it.

- Megan, please.

Let's sit you down, okay?

Sit her down on your bed.

Okay, I'll be right back.

- Go. Just go, goddamn it!

What are you
trying to do?

Are you high?

- All right Philip,
just stay cool.

She's gonna be okay.

I'll pick up her
medication, no big deal.

- Why do you
keep him up there?

- I made him two
promises before he died.

- You realize
he's a dog, right?

- Dead dog.

Lucky him.

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

- One for you,
one for me.

♪ Listen to me...

♪ Big boy, it's time to go...

- Yeah, that's good.

♪ You're not for me...

- What's weirder that
I'm talking to myself?

I don't know,
maybe that's weird.

Or what's weird, maybe
that I can't find the

pharmacy and get my
grandma's medication,

or what's weird is that
my dad's complete

lunatic and degenerate?
I don't know.

Oh, here's the pharmacy.

Shit! How do I
get in there?

- You put it
upside down.

Look what happens. It's--

- it's a six.

- All right.

And oh, good!

You're closed.

Because why would
you be open?

- What did you
do to this joint.

- I just ate it.

- You ate it.

- I didn't intend to.

- I can't even put
that in my mouth.

- Can I speak to
you for a second?

Get off of that and come
with me right now. Go!

- Ouch, ouch.

- What are you thinking?

- She was in pain.

- I don't care.
You got her high?

- Cancer patients
smoke pot all the time.

- She doesn't
have cancer, Megan.

She doesn't have cancer.

- So this is
a celebration?

- How much did
you smoke with her?

- Do you know
who you look like?

- Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.

I'm hungry. Let's
go to Danny's.

- She's hungry. She wants
to go to Danny's.

- I bet she's hungry.

- I think I'm gonna
have pancakes for dinner!

Pancakes with a
little side of Mayo.

How about you Meg?

- You're both
disgusting.

Can I please
drive the car.

- Have you always
been such a nag?

- Estelle, I'm just
trying to help you.

Please...

- If I had you
to depend on,

I'd probably wind
up in a home.

- Why do you think
he's down here?

- Megan!

- What?

- Whoa!

- What was that?

- Oh, my god. Mr. Plotz!

Cal!

Megan.

Megan, get out
of the car.

Mr. Plotz!

Fuck!

- Mr. Putz.

- We should go.

- Megan!

Megan, wake up.

Wake up, our
grandmother's gone.

Estelle is gone.

- Maybe she went
to the store.

- No, she didn't
go to the store,

Megan because there's
a note on the fridge,

and dog's gone,
and the car's gone.

She's gone.

Fuck!

- You asshole!

- Why are you
hitting me?

- You had to scare
her off, didn't you.

- You got her
high, okay?

- Awesome. You got me.

You win again.
I'm so fucked.

- You're fucked?

We're supposed to meet
with the weinstein lady

first thing in
the morning.

What am I supposed
to tell dad?

And the cops told her she
shouldn't even think

about driving and she's
in an automobile

on the road by herself.

- Pack your bag.

- Why?

- We're going after her.

- We don't even
know where she's going.

- Well I've got an idea.

- No. No ideas. No ideas.

We're calling dad.

He is gonna
come down here.

He is gonna deal with
this because this is

his mom and this
is his problem.

- That's her!

I bet you that's her.

- Hello?

- Good morning.

This is detective hanes
with the palm Springs p.D.

We got your grandmother's
blood results

and the news isn't good.

I'm gonna need to see the
three of you right away.

Do I have to send a
car to pick you up?

Hello?

I can hear you breathing.

- Twin Brooks
here we come!

Buck up kid. This is the
trip of your life!

- Okay, okay!

Hey. What is this?

- Relax. Plotz
loaned it to me.

- I thought he was
in the hospital.

- Not anymore.

- He really let
you borrow his car?

- Jesus Christ!

Look, you saw the way
she was last night.

How long do you think
she's gonna last out

there on the road. Huh?

All right, get
in the car Philip.

Come on, it's
for the family!

What's in the tent?

- It's brisket.

- Can I see your phone?

- Why?

- Just, I need
to call someone.

- Why don't you
use your phone?

- Can I just see your phone
for one second, Philip.

- Okay.

What the fuck!

- It was a piece of
shit flip phone.

- Piece of
shit flip phone?

You just threw my phone
out the fucking window!

- Do you want them
to track us?

- I don't care
what they do.

I want my phone back.
Can you pull over.

- You're known
for being a brain.

Start using it.

- What about
your phone, idiot?

They can track your
phone you know.

- Happy now?

- No, I'm not happy.
Now we have no phones!

- Stop spitting on me!

- Pull over!

- Not gonna happen.

- I want you to pull
the car over because

now we don't have
a fucking phone.

We don't have a phone.
We don't have a phone.

We don't have a
phone in the car.

- Doesn't it feel good?

No phones. Free.

- No. I've never felt
more trapped in my life.

- I told you we'd do
it. I told you.

I probably won't
make it there alive.

Which will be on your
conscience, by the way.

But I'm doing it.

- What if she's not
going to Seattle?

Then what?

- She loved Seattle.

She never wanted
to leave Seattle.

She's a rainy person.

She's going to Seattle.

- How about showing
a little tact, huh?

- I can't believe you're
the same guy who got me

high the first time.

- I'm not. I'm grew up.

- Yeah, real grown up
running daddy's errands.

Do you think he'll ground
you if you don't

find his mother.

- Why are you
even here anyhow?

You don't give a shit.

- I'm here for estelle.

- Is that you?

- Maybe I'm
here for you.

- Ah, thank you.

- What, you don't
believe in instances where

siblings just have to
come through for each

other no matter what?

- I don't get
you at all.

- I'll take that
as a compliment.

- Ow...

Ouch.

Oh, I don't know
if I can do it.

Ah...

Change of plans, Ralph.

It's just too far.

This is nice
though, right?

- Female: Okay.
- Male: Okay?

Male: Right here.

Shhhh...

Female: Baby...

Male: Here's the cock.

- What the fuck?

Oh, oh, ow.

Male: Did you see that?

- Oh...

- Hey. Are you all right?

- Stay away from me.

- Oh my gosh, she's
carrying a dead dog.

- Do you know
who you are?

- Get away from me!

- Jerry, we
should just go.

- It's okay. I
won't hurt you.

- Get away from
me before i--

- here.

Ouch!

Goddamn it, lady!

- Leave me alone!

- Let's go.

- Let's get out of here.

- Hey, I'm hungry.

Can I have some money?

- Why don't you just
eat what I brought.

- Fat free pretzels
and brisket?

No thanks.

- You're not getting
any money from me.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Hey, listen, I'm sorry,
I realize

I didn't call last night.

My phone died.

I just said I was sorry.

Things got a
little crazy.

- I know I said
anything you want

but I'm on a pay phone.

Sure.

Yeah.

I, I, are you in bed?

- I'll take
a Jesus cross.

And one of these.

- And if you flash
me your boobs,

I won't bust you for
all the shit

you got in your jacket.

- That's not very
Christian of you.

- Jesus was a boob man.

- What?

- Look it up. It's
in the Bible.

- Do you like that?

Do you like that a?

I'm gonna lick
that b. Soft b.

Soft b.

Yeah, it feels good.

Now I'm licking up
your, yeah, it's a d.

It's a d on your ass.

You like that?

- Get a good eyeful?

- Nope. Sorry, you're gonna
have to do it again.

- You're a slick
one, aren't you?

You know what?

Fuck you!

Say goodbye, Philip!
Time to go!

- Get back here
you stupid bitch!

- I came all over you.
So much fun!

- You fucking cut me!

- Megan!

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

- You bitch!

- You perv!

- That was in sane!

- Why are you happy
about this?

This is not good.

- I cut his face
with that fucking can!

Oh, my god!

- What is that?

- It keeps me calm.

- Did your girlfriend
teach you that one?

- You know I'm planning to
marry her one day, right?

You know that?

You two are
gonna be related.

You better find a
way to deal with it.

- Yeah, well, I'm gonna
have to explore a

whole new world of
drugs to address

that very question.

- You know what, that's
so funny, isn't it?

So funny but
it's the fucking truth!

It's all about not
dealing for you.

It's all about turning
off because you don't

want to deal with shit.

- I deal just
fine, thank you.

- Right, right. That's why
you live in the same--

- hey! Thanks for stopping.

- Oh.

- You guys headed north?

- No.
- Yes.

- But we can't
give you a ride.

My brother here, he's
afraid of black folk.

He has very interesting
views on your people.

- My people, huh?

- I don't have any
interesting views

on anything.

Three of my best friends
are African American.

- What? He's lying.

- I'm not lying.

Mike and Gerald, Jerome.

You don't know
them at all.

They're great guys.

- Jerome? Jerome.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Why don't you
get in the car.

We'll give you a ride.

You can have a ride.

Where you headed?

- I like the goat, man.

- Thanks.

- I was thinking about
growing one myself.

- Oh, yeah you
should do that.

- I might.

- Yeah, look
really good on you.

- It would.

- Interesting car.

- Thanks.

- It's not the kind of
car I expected a girl

like you to be driving.

- It's not mine.
It's my brother's.

- This isn't my car.

- He spent his entire
salary on that stupid

spoiler in the back.

- I did no such thing.

She's a
pathological liar.

- I'm already bored.

Hey Derek, get high?

- I enjoy the
occasional joint.

- Megan, don't.

- Don't share with you?
No prob.

- Megan, I'm serious.

- Loosen up and try
to enjoy life

for one second.

- Yeah, chill Phil.

- Yeah, chill Phil.

- Take a chill pill.

- All right.

- Fine. You want me
to take it easy?

You want me to chill out?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes. Yes, Phil.

Yes, Philip.

- Oh!

- Get out and get it.

- Nope.

- Phillip...

- Are we on a
schedule, Megan?

- This is about
principles.

- Whose principles?
Cheech and Chong?

- Get out and get it.
It's my last fucking joint!

- Drive the car.

- No.

- Drive the car.

- Guys, not a big deal.
I'll go get it.

- No!

- I'm not
moving this car.

- I'll sit right here.

- Great.

- Good.

- Gonna stay
here a long time.

- Can you guys just
settle this so we can

move on?

- I don't know,
can we Philip?

- I don't know,
can we Megan?

- I'm not
moving this car.

- You guys are
fucking nuts.

- I think you're hot!

- I can't believe you
just chose a joint over

someone dumb enough
to actually like you.

- It's not
about the joint.

- Forget it Philip.

- Oh, no. I'm finding
your precious drugs.

- I don't want it.

- But Megan, this is
kind bud we're

talking about here.

- Stop being a baby
and get in the car.

- Stop being a baby?

You've been parked for
two hours because you

lost your bottle.

- I'm sorry, okay?

Now can we get back in
the car so we can go?

- You don't even care
about finding estelle.

This is all just a chance
for you to escape your

miserable little
life back home.

- Wait, wait, wait.

You can't leave me.
I need you.

- Oh, really?
- I need...

- What do you what?
- Help.

- My help? I tried
that before, remember?

It didn't work
out too well.

- When? When have you ever
tried to help me.

- You know exactly when.

- You narced and had me
thrown into rehab.

- I was trying
to help you.

- Well you have a
funny way of showing it.

- Do you remember how
hard you worked before

mom, how motivated
you were?

And then six
months later,

you're stealing
jewelry from estelle.

What did you
want me to do?

- I don't know, Philip.

What about acting
like a brother

and talking to me?

What about Megan,
I'm worried,

I think you might
have a problem.

- Megan, I'm worried.

I think you
have a problem.

- See, it
wasn't that hard.

- You know I think
that we've taken

this far enough.

Okay, let's just turn
around and go home and

hope that she calls.

- I can't.

If I don't find estelle,

I'm in some serious trouble.

- Because of
the accident?

It's not like you
forced her to get high.

- Not because
of the accident.

I kind of did something
that in retrospect might

not have been the
smartest move.

- What? What did you do?

- I bought some pot.

- I know. Groovie.
I'm not stupid.

- Five pounds I bought.

I bought five
pounds of pot.

- What?

- You can't make money
selling dime bags in L.A.

Anymore and I needed
something else,

and I thought of him,
and you were coming here,

so it just
seemed like fate,

but now I just--

- what? Now what?

- It's in estelle's car.

- What?

- It's in estelle's car.

- Why--why would
you--put five pounds of

pot in estelle's car?

Why would you do that?

- I wasn't
thinking, okay?

I saw an opportunity to
get myself out of a rut

and I took it.

- A rut? A rut!

You turned our
grandmother into a

fugitive drug
smuggler, that's a rut?

- 30 percent of
the profits, Philip.

I'll give you 30 percent
of whatever I make if you

help me get out of this.

- You want to help me?

You want to help estelle?

This is such a crock.

You're the same
little liar that

you've always been.

- I am just asking for a
little piece of help right

now, okay?

- How could you do this?
How could you do this?

How could you
sabotage us like this?

- Us? Us? Us?

Since when has this
family ever been an us?

- I guess it's
not thanks to you.

- Oh, so there
it is, Philip!

Just come out and say it.

Blame Megan, the family
fucking scapegoat.

- Oh.

- And you know
what, I killed mom.

- What?

- I killed mom.

- I didn't say that.

- Yeah. Well, that's
what you meant.

- Megan, I didn't say that.

Hey! Megan!

- Yes, Mrs. Weinstein.
I understand.

I know you need it. As
soon as I hear anything,

you're my first call.

♪♪

- Mother?

Philip?

Megan?

- Ah.

- Excuse me.

- Yes. Grab hold of this,
would you?

- I'm looking for the
woman who lives here.

- Yeah, just spray along
the tops and a little harder

down at the bottom.

- Estelle Davis.
She's my mother.

- You spray. I'll talk.

- Please. Can you tell
me where she is?

- I don't know. Can I?

And don't forget the roots.

That yard, that yard
used to be perfect.

It was mowed and tended
and loved and cared for and --

hey! Hey! Hey!

Your mother tried to run me
over, and now she's on the lam.

- What?

- Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

How do you think
I got like this?

- What about my kids?

They were with her.

- Oh, your kids.

Yeah. You mean, the brats
that stole my car, huh?

Yeah. My baby.

They stole my baby!

- What is that noise?

- Sounds like estelle.

- Will you please, please
remind me to call the

weinstein lady
in the morning?

- What do you
think you're doing?

- Um, going to bed.

- Not with me, you're not.

- I paid for it, so half
the bed or the floor.

- Forget it.

- Oh, you wanna
sleep alone?

Is that what you'd like?

- Don't even
think about it.

- Okay.

- Philip! Philip.

- You ever talk to
anyone about mom?

- What's there
to talk about?

Shit happens.

- We don't blame
you, you know.

- I do.

- Isn't there a law
against grizzly bears

renting hotel rooms?

- When are you planning on
asking Ashley to marry you?

- I don't know.

When I get a real job again.

- You do realize you're
going to be connected to her

for the rest of
your life, right?

That doesn't mean you just
shudder just a little?

- Given the way you feel
about her, this isn't

something I want to discuss.

- Do you remember Kevin
Conroy's gallery opening?

- Not really.

- Well, I do.

You remember how Ashley
bought that dress and you

didn't say you loved it?

She was so fucking pissed
chugging down Jack and cokes

and just hammering
you at every turn.

She's been pulling shit like
that since the day you met.

You think it actually gets
better when you're married?

- Is this really happening?

Will you please
shut up over there!

Shut up!

I am an axe murderer!

So one more peep out of
you, and I'm gonna come over

there and chop you up
into little pieces!

Finally.

No more noise
from you either.

Good night.

- Megan. Megan, get up.

- What's going on?

- There's a bunch
cops around the car.

- Ah, shit.

I thought you paid
cash for the room.

- I did.

Did you fucking
steal Cal's car?

- Just move away from
the window and let's go.

- Fuck! They're
coming for us.

They're going door
to door, Megan.

- Okay. You need to calm down.

- I can't calm down.

- Calm down.

- Did you just slap me?
Who slaps somebody?

- I'll slap you again,
you little bitch.

- You're a little animal.

- Shut up. Let's go.

- You're fucking
throwing my bag.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

- Shh.

- You're crazy.

- Shut the fuck up.

- Shh.

♪♪

- I can't believe --i can't
believe you stole Cal's car.

- Oh, you knew
what I was doing.

- I had no idea.

♪♪

- It was just a great plan.
Now what?

We just walk to Seattle?

Yeah? It's only
about 700 miles.

- Shut up.

♪If you see me
feeling down ...

♪I don't know if I
want you around ...

- Had enough yet?

The sun's up.

Are you tired?

I'm sorry.

♪Don't want you around ...

♪Don't want you around ...

♪I don't really like any
of your friends ...

♪But it's not that hard
for me to pretend ...

- I can't believe
we're eating here again.

- Danny's is good.

- Danny's is not good.

- Danny's is good.

I love Danny's. Danny's.

- You can cover
this, right?

- Yeah.

- Is your name really flo?

- I'm at the end
of a shift, honey.

- Waffles for him
and pancakes for me?

- Drinks?

- Uh, two oj's.

- I'll have a
coffee, please.

- Oh, and can I get
that with a side of Mayo?

- Second person to ask
for Mayo with

the pancakes this shift.

- Let me guess.

Old lady, really rude?

- Nice eyes though.

- How long ago?

- Two hours. Maybe three.

- This is like a
real mission now.

We get to her before the
cops, bring her back home.

Everyone's happy.

We're like old lady
bounty hunters.

- We are like
fucking fugitives.

- Okay.

You need to come to grips
with the fact that we're in

this together.

We need each other.

- You don't need
anyone, remember?

- I do now.

You should be happy.

What are you doing?

- Looking for my wallet.

Oh.

I must have left it
in the motel room.

- That sucks.

- Put --okay.

You can't eat that because
we can't pay for that.

- We'll dine and dash.

- I am not dining
and dashing.

Put the fucking food down.

- Ow! What are you doing?

- Shut up. Just shut up.

Be quiet. Be quiet.
Hold still.

- Ow!

- Shh.

Excuse me, flo?
I found a hair.

- Oh, Philip.
Sinister.

- No, no. Come on, Megan.

What are you doing?

Put your hand down.

Oh.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes!

- God, no. Please.

- Come on!

- Have you not heard
of stranger danger?

Driver: Hey, hop on in.

- Hi.

Driver: Hey, kids.

Welcome aboard the
Oregon express.

- So is this
your girlfriend?

- No. I'm his sister.

- Oh, his sister.

- Yep.

- You're not going
to kill us, are you?

- Sorry, buddy.

This is going to be
the end of the road.

We've had a good
run, didn't we?

Oh.

- Oh, I appreciate the
gesture, but I have

a girlfriend.

- So do I.

- Oh. We're going to
get married.

- Oh. That's nice.

- Okay.

- You've got strong legs.

- Yeah. Thank you.

- Oh, now. Come on.

Hey, we're just
getting started.

Just relax.

- Oh!

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Lady! Take your fucking
hands off my brother.

- Chill. Chill.

- Chill?

- Okay.

- You chill.

- Driver: You ain't gonna
play, you ain't gonna stay.

- We don't wanna
stay, Dr. Suess.

Can you let us
out of the car?

- Okay.

- See you later, you bitch!

- Creep.

Driver: Psychos.

- I feel violated.

Sick.

Don't tell anybody
about that.

♪♪

♪ I'm feeling so fine ...

♪♪

- That feels good.

We just gotta call
dad and give up.

- Nope.

- Megan.

- We're not giving up
and we're not calling dad.

- Why not?

- Because we're
grown people.

- Who cares?

It's over. It's done.
No one even --

- we're not calling dad.
He's useless.

What? No way.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- What's up?

- What's up?

- Sorry about last time.

- Hey, Derek.
What's up, dude?

- Philip, what's up man?

- What's going on, man?

Hey, do you have a cell
phone by any chance I can

borrow for just a second?

- As a matter
of fact, I do.

There you go, man.

- Thank you.

- Do you, um, happen to
want to buy me some popcorn?

- I'd love to.

- Awesome.

- Can we get a
popcorn for the lady?

- Two.

- Two? Two popcorns
for the lady.

All right.

- Baby, hi.

- Whose number is this?

- Oh, it's a long
story, sweetie.

- I've got
nothing but time.

- I --not right now, okay?

Just later, but right now I just
need you to know that I'm --

- how about you skip
to the part where you stole

a car and helped your
grandmother jump bail?

- Oh. How did you --

- because your dad
called me, you dummy.

The cops told him all about
estelle's accident and your

little Grand Theft Auto and
the fact that they're out

there looking for
you right now.

- Jesus Christ.

- You know, this has the
markings of your crooked

little sister all over it.

- Hey, hey, hey.

Don't call her that.

- Am I wrong?

And you just let her getaway
with it just like you always do.

Problem child Megan gets to
be the rebel while Mr. Goody

two shoes runs around
picking up the pieces.

- It's not like that, okay?

- Do you think I'm going to
marry into a family where my

husband still plays the role
of the fucking mama bear?

- I am in the middle of a
major crisis right now, and

all you can do is focus
on how it affects you?

- Yeah, because
it does affect me.

Everything you
do affects me.

- It has nothing
to do with you.

- Come home, Philip.

Get in the car
and come home now.

Enough is enough.

- I can't.

I can't just
come home, okay?

- You're either home by
tomorrow morning, or you're

finding a new place to live.

- I'm sorry. It's--
it's my apartment.

What?

- Yeah. Fucking try me.

- You know what, Ashley?

You are being a
cunt right now.

♪♪

- What's that?

- That's my dog.

- He's cute.

- He's dead.

- He doesn't look dead.

- He's been dead for years.

Wanna pet him?

- Uh-huh.

Is he soft?

That's a pretty
little pink flower.

- Thank you.

- Pretty little
blue-- what is that?

Ice cream?

- It's cotton candy.

- Cotton candy?

Yummy.

- So things are better
between you and your brother?

- Um, not really.

- You two have an
interesting relationship.

- That's --that's one
way of looking at it.

- He seems like a
harmless enough guy.

- He's too harmless.

He spends so much time
trying to be polite and nice

and saying the right thing
and not pissing again off.

It just sometimes feels like
he's not even a real person.

- So he's a mama's boy?

- Yeah, he was.

- That's not really the
kind of thing that you

grow out of.

- He didn't really
grow out of it.

My mom bit it when I was 16.

- Shit. Sorry to hear that.

What happened?

- I don't know.

We were playing tennis,
and she dropped dead.

Forehand, backhand,
forehand, dead.

Apparently aneurysms aren't
so great for the health.

- Jesus.

How do you get over
something like that?

- You don't.

- Well, ralphie,
here you are.

I kept my promise.

Almost.

Oh, smells like shit, but at
least you're with the animals.

- Estelle.

- No.

No, I'm not going with you.

- We're just going
to take you home.

You're fine.

- No, no, no, no! No!

- Hey, hey, hey.

You're fine. You're fine.

What --what are you--
hey, someone call 911!

You're okay.

Someone call 911!

You're okay.

- Ride with me.

- Okay.

I'll be there in one
second, okay, estelle?

- Philip, drive carefully.

- I will.

- Very carefully.

- I get it.

- I hope you're grandma
is going to be okay, man.

- Thanks, man.

- My sister likes
you, by the way.

She doesn't like anybody.

- Yeah.

- Am I dead?

- Not yet.

- Ralph? Ralph?

- No, no.

He's gonna meet us
at the hospital.

Philip's bringing him.

I'm so sorry, estelle.

- It's not your fault.

♪♪

- Any word?

Shit.

Your dad planted a date palm
when he and your mom came

down here.

Grew pretty fast, too.

Tons of fruit.

Sweet, delicious.

Your mom cut it
down after he died.

Do you ever notice when
you cut down a tree,

the stump dies, too?

It shouldn't, right?

I mean, the stump is where
all the roots and things

are, where it
gets its water.

It should just keep growing,
but I guess it needs all

those branches and leaves
and other parts to

keep it ticking. Ha.

The stump will stick around
for years just sitting

there, but once those
branches are gone it will

never grow, and it
will never change.

- That's a
metaphor, isn't it?

- Whatever you say.

- I fucking hate metaphors.

- What the fuck
is a metaphor?

It's a stump.

- Is she okay?

- She's fine.

She's asleep.

- Did you see the cops?

- They're waiting
for her to wake up.

- This is a disaster.

- I think we have
to do something.

- Megan, she's sick.

There's nothing
else for us to do.

- There's always
something we can do.

We have to get her
to twin Brooks.

- Twin Brooks?

Okay. Stop.

It's over.

- Pop the trunk.

- You're not
listening to me.

It's over.

- Just pop the trunk.

I need to fire
up some courage.

I'm getting her
out of there.

- You have to get high
to have a little courage?

- Am I asking you for
your opinion on this, dad?

Pop the fucking trunk!

- Dad? You're
calling me dad?

Look at you.

You're exactly like him,
and it's killing you.

- What?

- It's all about you and
what you can take to tune

everyone else out
because you can't deal.

- Okay. I don't have to
listen to this shit.

- I dumped it.

- What the fuck!

- Did you see the cops?

- I hate you.

- Megan, it was the
right thing to do.

- The right thing to do?

The right thing to do?

- Shh.

- Are you fucking
kidding me?

Fuck! Where did you dump it?

- It doesn't matter. It's gone.

- You know, with all your
preaching you really don't

know the first
thing about family.

- I have done more for this
family than you will ever do.

- I'm going to get estelle,
and you're going to be here

waiting for both of us
because that's the type of

brother you claim to be.

- I won't be here.

- You better be here.

♪♪

♪♪

- Estelle? Estelle? Estelle?

Wake up.

We're checking out.

- We're checking --
- we're checking out.

We're gonna escape.

- Oh, my hair.

- Yes. You got it?

- Yeah.

- Okay. Let me take this.

Sorry.

- Ow.

- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

- My lipstick.

- Okay. Here's your lipstick.

- Quick. Quick.

- Okay.

- Okay. Can you sit
in the chair?

- Yeah. I can.

We're escaping.

- You're escaping.

I'm getting you the
fuck out of here.

- Excuse me.

Where do you think
you're taking her?

- Oh, my grandmother is
feeling a little hot and

wanted to get
some fresh air.

- You're not even
supposed to be here.

- She just needs
some air, okay?

- Am I going to have
to call security?

- I don't know. Are you?

- Excuse me! Nurse! Nurse!

Something's
happened to my wife!

Please! Please! This way.

You have to come right away.

- Put her back and leave.

- I'm serious! Come on!
702.

- All right. All right.

- Right this way. Please.
This way.

Oh, my god.

♪I trade my heart for
your heart, baby ...

♪Give you all my
kisses to boot ...

♪I trade my heart for
your heart, baby ...

♪Give you all my
kisses to boot ...

- Come on. Hurry up. Hurry up.

Come on. What's taking
you guys so long?

Come on.

Yes. This is happening.

♪ Bang, bang, bangity
bang, bang ...

- This is by far the stupidest
thing I've ever done.

No offense, estelle.

- No, it is stupid.

Pretty stupid.

♪Bang, bang ...

♪Bang, bang,
bangity bang ...

- Come on. Come on.

Okay, the coast is clear.

Come on.

Just walk slow.

Happy family.

Everyone smile.

Everyone smile, okay.

- Really?

- Everyone smile.

Hi. Just visiting.

Shh. Don't look around.

Everyone's fine.

Everyone's fine.

Hello.

- Oh, shit.

- Shit.

- Hey, hey, hey.

Let the lady go, okay?

- She just wants
to go home, man.

Let her go home.

- I said back away
from the patient, okay?

- Listen, man, you can't
keep a patient here

against their will.

- The police are going
to thinking differently.

- Hey, back up!

- Holy shit.

- Okay. Just take it easy.

It's not worth
it, all right?

- It isn't worth it.

He's right, Philip.

- Okay. What do I do, Meg?

- I don't know.

I'm not the one
holding the gun.

- All right. Okay.
I'm sorry.

- Okay.

- Really, I am.

- Okay. Let's just --

- but I need you
to back up.

And I need you to stand
right there, and I need you

to understand that I'm
dealing with some heavy self

discovery issues right now
so that I need you to get

down on your knees,
down on your knees.

And I need you
to count to 50.

Make it 100.

- It should be
at least 200.

- It should be
at least 200.

Don't look me in the eyes.
Don't look me in the eyes.

Let's go to the right.

- Go to the right.

No. That way. Go to the right!

Don't look at us. Don't look
at us. Don't look at us.

You two, please go, do
what you were doing.

Walk. Don't look at us.

- Philip?

- Shh.

- Philip?

- Shh.

- Philip, let's go.

- I know.

- Go!

- Okay!

- Go, go, go, go.

- Oh, my god.

- Go, go, go, go.

- Oh, my god.

Oh my god.

Come around this way.

Come this way.

- Go, go, go, go.

We're getting out of here.

- Bring her
around this side.

- Go, go, go.

- Did you steal this car?

- What? This is your car.

- Only I drive my car.

- No. You're sitting
in the back, okay?

- No. I get sick if I
ride in the back seat.

- You got her?

- I don't want to
hear anything about it.

Come on.

- I can't --no.

- It's okay. You got it.
You got it.

- I got Ralph. I got Ralph.
I got Ralph.

- You have to move a little
quicker if you want

to be an outlaw.

Okay.

- I don't want
to be an outlaw.

- You're going to be fine.

You're going to be fine.

- Billy the
kid rides again!

Woo!

- No. No woos.

- Come on. Just one woo.

Woo!

♪♪

- Whew.

Woo!

Ah. Ah.

Fuck, yeah.

♪♪

- Her medicine
is in the trunk.

Just grab it for her.

- Sure.

♪♪

- You know, if you really
love Ashley, I could totally

try and learn to --

- save it.

I dropped that
beotch hours ago.

- What? Who are you
right now?

- I'm Philly the kid, baby.

- Yeah, you are.

♪♪

- Go ahead. Nothing to see.

♪♪

- Nice.

- I told you the other
night that I'd committed

to two promises.

I promised to get Ralph here
which I've accomplished,

thank you very little.

You've been a good
friend all these years.

And, uh, I promised to fix
things with the family.

I don't think I'm gonna
get there on that one.

- No. Estelle,
there's still time.

- Tut, tut. My speech.

I loved your grandfather,
and when he died I wasn't

built to handle
feeling that heavy.

So I didn't.

Then your mother
waltzed into our lives.

Then you.

And the loss faded, and it
was good, really really good.

And then that was it for me.

My heart was closed
for business.

I abandoned your father,
and I abandoned you.

Well, it stops right here.

I want you to --

- ow! Ow.

- Oh my --

- I think I just got hit
by a golf ball.

- God.

- You fuckers!

What the hell you
think you're doing?

- It's okay.

- Come on.

Get off the green, lady!

- It's okay. Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm fine. It's okay.
It's okay.

Come on.

- Come back.

- Where the hell was I?

- What the fuck
are they doing?

- You assholes!

- All right. Okay.

- Maybe we should just go.

- It's fine. It's fine.
It's fine. It's okay.

- Should we go?

- Not yet.

I want you to finish
my second promise.

Forget the tough
love just for once.

Just try to --

- love?

- You don't have to
make it sound so corny.

- Well, it wasn't my --

- shh. Give me my dog.

- Okay.

- Be free, you stupid dog.

- Go ahead.

Get a good laugh.

♪When you walked out just
seconds before ...

♪To drop a letter
through the door ...

♪Oh ...

♪♪

- We're good now, old man.

♪♪

- Stop throwing it.

This stuff stinks.

- Oh. Almost.

- I'm keeping this.

- Hey, don't even
think about it.

That's mine.

- What could you possibly
want with an armadillo?

- I don't know.

I want it, though it.

It reminds me
of palm Springs.

- Such a softie.

Estelle, who keeps
the chia pet?

- Don't ask her.

She's not a fair judge.

Of course she's gonna
choose you over me.

- Me over Philly the kid?

I don't think so.

- This is the
last of the boxes.

- I can see what's
in there, yeah.

- I got more if you want.

- No. That's good, I think.

No, that will be good.

Hey, you know what?

Maybe we'll do this in here.

- Hey, where you going?

- I'll be back.

- How is she?

- She's good.

- How are you?

- I'm okay.

- What do you want to
do with your grandmother?

- That's up to you.

- The chia pet is mine.

- Yeah.

♪Oh, I remember you ...

♪Slow down so I can
follow you ...

♪♪

♪ and you, such a
fearless soul ...

♪♪

♪ slow down ...

♪ And try to tell
the truth ...

- Mind if we join you?

- Sure.

♪♪

- Yeah. Okay.

Now, try to hit it to me.

♪♪

- Estelle: Well, she's
rusty but she's out there

with them together.

Promise kept.

Disaster averted.

But I'm still dead.

Talk about tough love.

Hmm.