The Wrong Millionaire (1931) - full transcript

Excuse me...

You haven't see my daughter,
have you?

She's very likely standing
outside the millionaire's cabin...

...hoping that he'll eventually
make an appearance.

- Here he is!
- No, he's not coming.

Just listen to this...!

Would you believe that a journalist...

...has come in an aeroplane
to interview that millionaire.

If head-office gave you the OK,
I can't say no to you.

But he's said to be
very obstinate.

Well, so am I!



I don't intend leaving the ship

before I've got a good photo of him
and material for a top story.

There has to be something peculiar.

He hasn't left his cabin
since we left New York.

Nor has his secretary.

Oh yes?
There's probably a good reason.

What do you mean?

Do you know who
his secretary actually is?

No.

You don't mean to say
the secretary is a woman?

It's not that bad...
He's a man.

But promise not to reveal
what I tell you.

You can trust me.

His secretary is a childhood friend,
and they worked together in Detroit.



The strange thing
is that the secretary

has exactly the same name
as the millionaire...

Fridolf J Johnson.

Oh, I feel so sick!

This rolling is just awful.

The things I must endure
to earn a pittance.

That's what happens when you
let something go to your head.

How can you get used to this?

What do you say about a ship
that rolls so terribly?

We should have found
a ship that didn't roll.

I think it's a shame about that guy.

He's been pestered by journalists
for the last 3 weeks.

He doesn't want
to attract attention.

Well he shouldn't have let himself
become a millionaire!

What am I supposed to do now?!

Complain.

Regret? Complain?

Can I have a word?

I'm in the middle of serving!

Want to make 100 kronor?

Yeah... I guess so.

Take off your jacket
and give me the tray.

No, I couldn't do that!

The captain's OK about it.

Well then...

And your jacket.

Wait till you see this!

It's my own invention.

It's a miniature camera,
for situations like this.

I stick this in here.

He's up to something!

And this goes here..

So I press that, and I have
a photo of the subject.

We should have done as I said.

We should have taken the train
from Detroit to Alaska.

Then shoot across Asia...

...straight to Sweden.

I'd have avoided being seasick...

...even if it was 1,000 bucks
more expensive.

Don't fret Mr Johnson...

It'll all be over tomorrow.

May I serve tea, Mr Johnson?

Where would you like to
take your tea, Mr Johnson?

Here on the lounge.

You can see yourself
how sick I am.

What's that?

I thought you'd ordered tea,
Mr Johnson.

Tea?!

How sick does a man have to be,
before he can get a cognac?

You're not much of a psychologist, steward.

If a classy traveller
orders "th? complet"...

...then a classy steward will bring
seven and a half cognacs.

Now see to it, my man.

This is how the wretched sick
are treated.

But then I guess I'm just...

...dependent on my little services.

- Services?
- I'm sorry, Mr Johnson...

We have a new steward today.

A Napoleon I presume,
Mr Johnson?

Thank you.

I certainly would hate to be stared at
as if I was the 8th wonder of the world...

...just because I suddenly
inherited millions.

Tea is served.

What are you waiting for?

Aren't you done?

Now I'm done, Mr Johnson.

Enjoy your tea, Mr Johnson.

Have a look in the paper
in the morning.

Mind your own business!

Be quiet, I said!

- To me?
- Yeah.

Do you talk like that
to a sick person?

What have I done
to deserve it?

You've become so nasty.

We used to be friends.

Of course, I'm only your secretary.

And you're the famous heir.

You ruined everything
carrying on about that.

- Did I?
- Yes.

Like with that journalist
who came by plane.

By plane?

The one that brought the tea.

First you say that he came by plane.

Then you say he came with tea.

How does that work?

The guy who brought the tea was a journalist.

Get it, now?

- Him?
- Yeah.

Hey, we sure fooled him,
didn't we?!

We did at that!

I noticed right away when he came in,
that he was what you said he was... a...

So I acted like a millionaire.

So he'd think
I was a millionaire, eh?

I'm quite sure of it.

What are you up to?

Listen... I have an idea...

A brilliant idea!

I said I have a brilliant idea.

So let's hear it.

Well, you always say you want
to be alone and undisturbed.

Yes.

You mean that you'll
play the millionaire, eh?

That's not a bad idea at all!

So I get to be left in peace.

And I get all the curious looks.

I can visit my parents' home,
without anyone knowing.

And I can live the high life
in Stockholm.

I can avoid all those man-crazy women,
chasing me for my money.

I can look after them.

I'll be good at that.
A specialty of mine.

All right!

No... wait on....

First we have to discuss
the economic aspect.

What? Is it going to cost me?

I'll have to give
the right impression.

Let's just say you'll have it done
at cost-price.

Well then...!

Let me know your terms.

The first one is discipline.

As secretary, you have to
learn act accordingly.

I had to do it.
So do you.

Accepted!

Then I'll have 50%

of the advance you received
on your forthcoming inheritance.

Accepted!

And on top of that...

I can't be walking.

I'll have to get a car.

I want a...

...Rolls Roysa.

It's pronounced Rolls Royce.

I don't care about pronunciation.

All that matters is that it's big,
and that it's expensive

Accepted!

Made it!

That was a terrible crowd.

Can I help you with that?

Millionaires are not common
in Stockholm.

Tell me now...

Just what are you doing here?

Are you also one of those
who wants to empty our wallets?

On the contrary.

You mean you'll be helping
to fill them?

Oh no!

I came to warn Mr Johnson.

I have to speak to him.

He'd nearby, but he's busy
at the moment.

Perhaps you could tell me ?

Well...

Perhaps.

I don't have much time now...

Could we meet in 15 minutes?

15 minutes? Sure.

Whereabouts?

There... Stromparterren Park.

So that's Stromparterren?

Off to a good start...!

5 minutes in Stockholm
and already a...

...a rendezvous.

Will you come?

Of course.

- See you then.
- See you.

Goodbye.

Good...

They're very valuable.

Keep an eye on Marguerite that she
doesn't let him get away from us.

Anything else you need?

No... no.

So how are you?

This is what happens
when I follow your plan!

You're a sham!

You're just a cheat!

Don't shout...
The whole hotel can hear.

Let them hear!

We should change roles immediately...

And you'd better pay me
for this suit.

It'll work out OK.

Give it time.

We'll talk about this again later.

Goodbye, Mr Johnson.

Hands on hips!

Stand on toes!

Just a moment.

Knee-bends...

1, 2, 1, 2,
1, 2, 1, 2...

Stop there...!
all good things come in threes.

Did you hear what I said?

Allow your body muscles
to totally relax.

With the greatest of pleasure.

You must always remember...

...that gymnastics are the path
to strength and beauty.

I'm well-endowed with both, already.

- Thank you for today's session.
- Don't mention it.

Today's message -
Do the right thing by your body.

Orsa Company promises nothing.

Who are YOU?

Get out of here!

Otherwise I'll call the police.

I'm already outside.

If you ring the police
it'll just be a crank call.

Hello! Tell me, Miss...

what's the name
of the lady in 115?

What?

Laban? No, Miss...

...could you please speak
a little slower.

Marguerite Lebon?

May I speak to the lady in question?

Is that you again?!

And you have the effrontery
to ring me?

I just wanted to find out
if you would allow me...

...to present my apologies
in person.

Well... seeing as
you're so insistent...

...I guess I'll have to say yes.

Thank you very much.

Here I am again.

Hello.

I hardly recognised you.

Without my uniform, you mean?

I'm actually his secretary.

And he puts you in a uniform?

I'd tell him what I think...

What?

No, it's none of my business.

If it's alright with you, then...

There was something else entirely
that I wanted to talk to you about.

Really?

Yes.

You'd be able to do your...

...your friend a very big favour.

Well, if I can do YOU a favour, then...

Yes or no?

Couldn't we sit down
and discuss the matter.

So... what were you
going to tell me?

I'll start from the beginning.

My name is Brita Gyllenblad.

Johnson.

Fridolf.

I'm the last of the Gyllenblad line.

I live with my parents
at Granholma

...which unfortunately
has its difficulties...

...namely being mortgaged
to the hilt.

My mother is a most energetic lady
who completely masters my father,

who is a nice man,
but tied to her apron strings.

Yesterday was a great event at home
when they saw Mr Johnson in the paper.

A lot of people get excited about
who arrives on the ship from America.

Dad happened to mention that he'd known
Mr Johnson's rich deceased relative.

So an invitation was sent
to the millionaire heir...

You can imagine
what they were thinking...

To marry me off to him...

...and with his money,
rescue the family name.

If I understand you correctly...

...you mean he should turn down
your parents' invitation?

No, not like that!

No?

What I mean is...

Yes.

Would it perhaps be simplest
if we didn't accept the invitation?

"We"?

Who mentioned you?

I'm sorry... Mr Johnson, I mean.

Mr Johnson should happily
accept the invitation.

But if I tell him
the story behind it...

...maybe he won't want to.

Don't tell him then.

The main thing is that...

The main thing is what...?

...that you promise to help me.

That I promise.

That wasn't easy.

Think about those shoemakers...

...if they could learn to make shoes...

...which looked small
on the outside...

...but were sufficiently big
on the inside.

But they don't.

Because they aren't interested
in their vocation.

Come in.

Here you are.

10 kronor.

10 kronor?

My secretary pays all
my incidental expenses.

Hey... wait a moment.

You take these.

They're easier to carry.

Come in.

Hello.

May I introduce myself.

My name is Fridolf Johnson
from Detroit.

So you're the one!?

I had imagined
Mr Johnson to be older...

...and not nearly so charming.

I seem tall...
for one so short.

I'm just a new boy
in the millionaire club.

Here you... here... here you are.

Merci bien, Monsieur.

"Mishur"...?

I'm Johnson, Fridolf Johnson.

I came here to...

To see if I might
offer my apologies.

There was really nothing to it.

No, I didn't think so either.

I mean that...

If the screen had been
a little smaller...

The fault was mine entirely.

I got your bathroom
mixed up with mine.

Plus the unlucky coincidence that
the staff had forgotten to lock the door.

Let's hope they retain...
their god-given forgetfulness.

That'd be the courteous thing to do.

Oo-la-la!

I'm but a fragile woman, and you're
a man who seems used to winning.

I do however have certain weapons
to defend myself with.

Can I trust you?

Can I?

Cognac?

Yes please, a small one.

Cheers, Monsieur Johnson.

Cheers, Miss Marguerite.

Cheers, Johnson.

Cheers, Marguerite.

So it's agreed that I'll have the pleasure
of enjoying supper with you tonight.
.

You're not a man who can be
denied anything, Monsieur Johnson.

"I kiss you on your hand madame..."

"...but dream about your lips."

You have to go now.

What's the matter?

Is there something you need?

All my needs seem
to have been met.

So... this evening...

- Monsieur Johnson.
- Thank you for it.

Au revoir.

The same to you.

Goodbye!

What an idiot!

I'd like to suggest that we
drop the formal speech.

No, no... Monsieur Johnson,
you promised to act correctly.

I'll be correct...
even if I were sitting on the sofa.

I do trust you.

I realise that completely.

Marguerite...

Let's drink to that
wonderful thing called love.

Yes, yes! The house isn't on fire!

Now I suggest that we...

...continue.

Come in.

You rang, Sir.

I didn't ring.

I humbly apologise.

Yeah?... well that's the very least
you can offer to do.

We'll continue...

...from where we left off.

What is it?

You're still ringing, Sir.

I didn't ring.

We're sick of these interruptions...

Where's the bell control?

It's here...
You're sitting on it, Sir.

Well I guess it got out of control.

Is there anything you would like, Sir?

Would like?

Yes, there is.

But it's not on the menu.

Miss Marguerite...
Did you hear what I said?

What I'd like...

...is not on the menu.

Something that may be
"on the house."

No, Monsieur Johnson...

One must to be able...

...to control oneself.

The language of the eyes is the weapon
which a woman knows how to wield...

and it has the advantage...
of being understood round the world.

This language, spoken in every land...

...says more than any love-words can.

The gaze is every woman's plea

of quietly saying "Come to me."

The gaze says yes, I do approve
The gaze is a passport to love

Two lovely eyes that smiled so
and burned

offer surprises that he so long
has yearned

The gaze is there to cast a net
and snare a man,

Words are all just empty phrases,
compared to any woman's gaze.

Lovely eyes indicators,

for the man man lost in a maze.

In your eyes, a dangerous look arose...

I smile... eyelashes gently close.

The gaze says yes, I do approve
The gaze is a passport to love

Two lovely eyes that smiled so and burned
offer surprises that he so long has yearned

The gaze is there to cast a net
and snare a man,

The gaze is there to cast a net
and snare a man.

Marguerite...

I simply cannot stay quiet any longer.

Without further ado,
I respectfully ask...

Would you, dear Marguerite..

...come with me
across the ocean?

Now he's started.

Yes, things are moving.

Can't someone look
through the keyhole?

No, there are things
hanging on the door.

What is he saying?

Marguerite...

I simply cannot stay quiet any longer.
Without further ado, I respectfully ask

Will sweet Marguerite,
come with me across the ocean?

We'll take the train this time...
all that water makes me sick.

I love thee, Marguerite.

Half of my millions are yours,
if I ever let you down.

And so on and so on...

Hey...

You have to admit
that I did a brilliant job.

Congratulations!

We've got him.

Something must have happened.

The bird has flown!

What are you saying?!

Well then, Marguerite...!

Calm down, boss...
I'll see him in 10 minutes.

Nothing you can do.

He's gone to Granholma Castle...

...to get engaged
to the young baroness.

You're lying!

I never lie.

So you've captured him,
have you, Marguerite?!

We're only here because
we agreed to your proposal..

...that we should trick him
into a promise of marriage.

We should have kidnapped him
like I suggested....

...and dispatched him
to the happy hunting grounds!

That's crazy talk!

Remember...
there's to be no violence...

...so long as I'm involved.

Well... how are we supposed
to get hold of his money?

- I have an idea!
- Yeah? What?

I'll go to Grannholma.

It is with the greatest pleasure,
Mr Johnson...

...that we extend
the warmest of welcomes..,

...to our dearest friend's only relation...

...to join us at Grannholma.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

- Welcome!
- Thank you.

May I introduce my secretary...

Mr Johnson.

I'm so glad to meet
Mr Johnson's childhood friend.

Did you have a pleasant crossing?

I always enjoy the Atlantic, Baroness.

You didn't have a storm? [top-hat]

Storm?

No. I wore a sports cap.

The ones top golfers wear.

He's so elegant!

The secretary?

The millionaire of course!

The late lamented Mr Johnson
often spoke of you...

...and asked me to take good
care of you if the chance arose.

I clearly remember the last postcard
I received...

...he babbled about that.

Will Mr Johnson be so good
as to join us?

With the greatest pleasure, Sire.

May I?

Why don't you be
a good boy, secretary...

...and go and take a look
at the garden.

Go outside and enjoy the flowers.

i don't think...

...anyone can see us here.

What do you think
about your intended?

Do you think I'd want to marry
such a cocky blowhard?

He's not cocky...

...just unpolished perhaps.

He doesn't have a coat of arms
to polish.

Have you...

He has something
which is far more worthwhile...

...a good heart.

So are you suggesting
I should marry him?

No.

You know very well
that I don't.

But don't forget he's my friend.

Here is Erik Gyllenblad,
a friend of King Erik XIV.

Unhappily, he died in prison.

Don't take it so hard.

I also have a relative
who has...

...been inside.

Where's Brita?

I don't know.

You never know anything!

Here we have Fridolf Gyllenblad.

Same name as mine.

I can tell...

He seems so cultivated,
so likeable...

and most of all, intelligent.

In fact, he went totally crazy!

He was convicted of being an accessory
in the murder of King Gustav III.

How was he involved?

But you, Baron, give the impression
of being very clear-headed.

- Thanks.
- My pleasure.

Go and check on Brita.

Here we have...

Guess they're some old
country cousins, eh?

Brita!

I have to go now.

When can I see you again?

What's today, Friday?

Tuesday at eleven o'clock
on the hill.

It's such a long time till then.

Brita!

Goodbye for now.

And here's Brita's grandfather.

I'm sure you have
a worthy grandfather.

Brita's grandpa?

This guy?

No, don't you kid me!

You wanted me, Mummy?

Oh, here you are, my pet...

You can go on showing
Mr Johnson the gallery.

He's so interested in your forebears.

Is it really so amusing to you?

No, not in the least.

But we've just about seen all...

...the gallery of mug-shots.

Interesting?
Mummy will be here in a minute.

She needn't hurry
on my account.

I thought perhaps you might
be hungry by now.

Thanks very much...
That was nice of you.

Did the baroness say anything?

No.

Well, I heard right...

I didn't hear anything either.

Tell me what he's really like?

Who? Who do you mean?

The millionaire, of course.

Oh, you mean HIM!

Well then, he's...

You must be very happy, to...

What?

...always have him near you.

Yes, I'm terribly happy
about it, young lady.

If only I could be so happy
just once while I'm single.

- Single?
- Yes.

It should be the best time

Knock, knock...

Anybody home?

I am the great impresario Barnum.

I want to give a little performance
here, you see?

- Yoo spick Cherman?
- Yes.

That's shame...
I don't.

So we begin....

This will be me...

Hello, hello, hello!

And this is the charming
little baroness.

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

To the lovely gracious girl I know...

For you I have made up a show.

I like to listen to your song...

I must hear more before too long.

From the very first on the path of life...

That's great!
You're a ventriloquist!

Hello there, Miss...!

Is there anything
I can help you with?

Who do we have here?

Is not our lovely neighbour
from the hotel?

Mr Johnson has spoken
about you so much.

And yet he has abandoned me.

Is there some way
I can help you?

- You really want to?
- Yep!

Well, for Mr Johnson's sake...

I can't resist your melody...

So climb up to my balcony.

So then...

Now we have the big love scene.

He slowly climbs up the ladder.

Up to the balcony...
hops over the railing...

And then he falls on his knees...

at her small, delightfully formed... feet.

Marguerite, I cannot stay quiet
any longer.

Respectfully, I ask the question...

Will sweet Marguerite
come with me across the ocean?

But why does he call her Marguerite?

I love thee, Marguerite.

Half my millions are yours

if I ever let you down.

Well, Fridolf...

What have you got to say
to your Marguerite now?

- Come on, come here.
- No....

Don't make a fool of yourself.

There'll be no encore.

- Come here!
- You heard what I said.

What do you mean?
Another fiancee?!

Well, that's just the limit!

Just wait till I get hold of
that Mormon!

Either or.

If you don't keep
to our agreement...

...then I'll reveal as to who
you really are.

Calm down...

If you do that...

...you'd sign your own
death warrant.

I'm not afraid of your threats.

Listen, you're only mad at me...

...because I've had better luck
with the ladies.

Not badly!

Don't be ridiculous...

How far would you have got
without your millions?!

- Did you say millions?
- Yes.

You'll come to regret that.

Now I'm going to tell...

who you really are.

- And when everyone knows...
- Shut up!

That's quite enough!

What are you doing
with the revolver?

Did you hear that?

Ssh... someone's coming.

The revolver?
I'm just packing it.

I'm going to motorcycle out to
the family home for a few days.

Alright?

You mustn't be angry
because I told you off.

I didn't mean anything by it.

I know.

You'll stay home?

As soon as I've packed, I'm off.

Take care of my millions.

You can rest assured...

When you come back...

...I'll be the same old Fred Johnson.

Goodbye, Mr Johnson.

Goodbye to you,
my old secretary.

It's Marguerite.

Is it you, Miss Marguerite?

Are you doing anything,
just at the moment?

Me? Not a thing.

Like to meet me at Blockhouse Point
in an hour?

Hi! I'm over here!

Marguerite...

- Everything alright?
- Absolutely.

You're not angry
with me anymore?

Not a bit.

We shan't mention that again.

Listen... I have a small villa
just out of town... Understand?

I understand... I sure do!

I thought it might be nice...

...if you came with me there,
for a cup of tea.

You won't believe
how much tea I can drink.

We'll drive back to the villa.

And we're in a hurry.

This seems a remarkable
place to live.

I mean, for you.

When I came in, it felt like...

...a gangster's lair.

How can you say such a thing?!

Marguerite, my pet...

That's all... I'll go organise tea.

Tea? I didn't come here to drink tea.

I came to have a good time.

I'll be right back.

Marguerite!

You've locked me in!

Marguerite!

Welcome, Mr Johnson.

Well, well...!

Now we've got you, little man!

Gentlemen... I bow to you.

I'm sorry if you've gone to any trouble
on my account...

...but I'm not a millionaire.

I'm only a secretary.

Don't bother trying to fool us...

...you sap!

If I say something,

then you gentlemen...

you crooks...

...can be sure it's true.

Stop babbling, you pipsqueak!

Do you dare insult me
like that?!

Just who do you think you are?

Bravo!

We did it.

Well...

What shall we do with him now?

First he has to sign a deed of gift
to Marguerite.

And then?

One thing is clear...

After the argument at the hotel...

...the secretary will get the blame...

...if we make him disappear.

No, no, no!

If we just keep him hidden,
we can get big money out of him.

Get the dice.

Well?

Don't you get it?

We'll play for it.

If I win, we'll do as I want...

If you win... as you want.

Go on...
you have first throw..

Two 4s and a 5.

Not bad to start with.

10!

9 plus 13 is 22.

12!
10 plus 12 is also 22.

Excuse me, my name is Johnson.

Can I join you and play?

Go away!

Maybe I could be referee.

What did you have?

22.

What did you have?

You know it's odd, but...

...you seem familiar.

Have I had the pleasure
of bumping into you?

Yeah.

- Whereabouts?
- In my face.

I see.

I thought it was somewhere else.

What did you have?

22.

So they're the same.

But if I'm to be referee...

...it has to be on the level.

Now I know...

...what was at stake.

It's as to whether
you live or not.

If he wins,

...it only concerns
your millions.

But if I win...

Then I guess it's all over.

Stop fidgeting!

Why don't we play instead?

5...

10...

15...

Now, mister referee...?

15...

We'll never beat that.

I'll have to do better.

Sorry.

Don't mention it.

Thank you.

No, wait...

You have to shake it properly.

That was cheating!

Cheating?

We'll check that right away.

6!

6...

Very well...

You've won.

It was cheating,
I tell you!

You're not suggesting
that I could have...?

Are you angry?

Throw again.

Hold it there!

Let me ask you...

Am I referee...
or am I not referee here?

Shut up!

He told me to shut up.

So I'll be quiet...

Mind my own business.

6!

What was it I said
to you crooks?

Honesty always wins, I said.

Friday

Saturday

Sunday Monday

Tuesday

The secretary threatened Mr Johnson.

It seems like a clear case.

The evidence is there.

Issue an arrest warrant
on Fridolf J Johnson...

...and direct suspicion
on this Fridolf J Johnson.

But which of them is it?

They are both
Fridolf J Johnson.

There's no doubt
it must be this one.

A reward has been announced
For the suspect's arrest.

MISSING MILLIONAIRE

The wanted suspect
Fridolf J Johnson

To be imprisoned in a cage
like animals, the prisoners rage.

It was so awful that dark night
but a lovely girl would make it right

The ocean roars, the thunders rumble,
the waves against the coastline tumble

The lightning flashes, the prisoner spies
that his singing friend in the water lies.

Who's that singing?

You, scoundrel...!

Step closer to that noble person...

...you are criminally holding
captive in your rat's nest.

On your knees!

On your knees!

The hour of retribution
has struck.

Will you show your remorse...

...with a single good deed?

You see this noble prisoner
with his suffering face...

Loosen his shackles.

Aren't you going to respond?!

Please stop tickling my leg!

Quiet! The voice! The voice!

What's the meaning of this?!

You'll soon find out!

There you are...

You're comfortable there.

I know, because
I sat there myself.

Shall I tell you about
that voice?

The remarkable voice
that startled you.

Do you know where it came from?

It came from my little stomach...

...that you've been torturing for days
with your filthy pea soup!

Don't trouble yourself
on my account.

You'll be alright there.

Hey... see you later, old boy...

...at the police station.

You scoundrel!

Look... one more scoundrel!

Come on...!

Join me on the field of battle!

After which I'll probably
be on my way.

What's this?

Rather unexpected.

After all, the police's confusion
can only be good.

We won't be suspected.

So when do we get the money?

Our friend will just have to
eat some more pea soup...

...before we can
make use of him.

I do feel sorry for him.

But I guess it's the only way
to get those millions.

Marguerite... surely
you're not in love with him?

In love?!

You know nothing
about a woman's feelings.

Marguerite! Help!

First like this...

...and then like this...

Marguerite! Shoot him!

Well? Shoot!

And then like this...

and like this...

You'll be quite comfortable...

...until the police arrive.

I always thought that you
would betray us, Marguerite.

Rest assured...
Marguerite is under my guard.

She'll be your dance partner.

Like a taste of my fist?

Thank you, Marguerite.

Listen... I'm not angry with you.

But those two scoundrels...

...are going to face the law.

You mean to say, that I'm...?

If you can get away from here...

...well... alright!

But how will you get away
from here?

In our game, one must
always be prepared.

See the plane down there ?

Goodbye, Marguerite my pet!

Don't forget to send me a postcard,
when you get there.

"Who is strongly suspected of having
abducted him, is being investigated..."

Just hear me out
for a minute.

Don't take me for granted!

Where's Mr Johnson?
What have you done with him?

Just let me explain
what's been happening.

I know exactly.

You wanted to stop me marrying
a man I didn't love...

...and you might have had
some hopes yourself.

Yes.

Yeah... funny, that...

That's the reason I...

You've acted out of jealousy...

Well, that sounds very romantic,
but perhaps...

Where did you get
those scratches?

Now look...
you don't think that I...

- Brita!
- No!

No, I can't any more.

- Brita, listen to me!
- No!

Police!

Police!

The usual thing...!
Just when you need them...

I need a shave.
I'm in a hurry.

If you don't hurry up
I'll have time to grow another beard.

Get on with it!

What is it now?

I have to cut it first.

I said I want it shaved off.

- What's that?
- Soap .

I can wash when I get home.

I want to get shaved...
right away!

Brita...

You must listen to me.

I have a confession to make.

But it's not at all terrible.

You know the millionaire Johnson...

Hands up!

Now! Put your hands up!

That's the murderer!

The one who changes identities.

Are you the secretary
Fridolf J. Johnson?

No...

No I'm Johnson the millionaire.

You're lying!

Don't believe him.

Here's a clipping
from the newspaper.

Yes, Constable...
You see the situation is that...

The millionaire is the secretary...

and the secretary
is the millionaire.

Understand?

No...

You can all come
to the police station!

Get moving!

That one won't be easy
to get hold of.

Why?

He looks like a wily one.

Stay there.

I'm to stay here?

The both of us stay here.

Tall, dark hair, blue eyes.

Special characteristic...
Forward-protruding chin.

How long do I have to stay here?

Mind how you...

That's odd, I thought
you were clean-shaven.

You thought?

Maybe you shouldn't think so much.

I get it...

Too much to drink
last night, eh?

No! Absolutely not!

- I can't understand...
- But I understand...

It's what we doctors call
hallucinating.

I guess it must be.

Call in to see me tomorrow...

Between 10 and 12.
We'll see what we can do about it.

Now I see what it's all about!

Calm down. Just calm down!

I'll explain...
Let me go!

Just calm down.

I'll get you a catch
worth much more than me.

I think we're quite happy
with the catch we have.

I quite agree.

Do you insist on claiming to be
the heir, Fridolf J Johnson?

And you just pretended
to be the secretary?

That is not true,
Your Honour!

The real heir
was in the newspaper.

For the last time will the witness
not interrupt the proceedings!

But a confession will get you
a milder sentence.

Accordingly...
do you still insist

that you are Johnson the heir?

Yes I do.

But please, old chap...

I've got guests coming for dinner,
and I'm doing the cooking myself.

Now I'm going to find
my great veal steaks burnt..

Show me you're really a nice fellow,
and confess.

I've tried at least 10 times
to explain.

But all I get is damned veal steak
thrown back at me.

Alright... tell me.

So, for the 11th time...

My friend and I were just a day
from reaching Gothenburg...

...when the steward
came in with breakfast.

Breakfast!

Tell me, what do you get for breakfast
on those Atlantic steamers?

Inspector, you have to taste
their Chateaubriand!

It truly was a splendid delicacy.

But as to their Bearnaise sauce,

I can't say I enjoyed it.

I understand.

We have the same old problem.

"Not beaten properly."

Sir, you can't believe the carelessness
with Bearnaise sauce.

It's just outrageous!

Nothing short of outrageous!

You know how it should be?

First you take the vinegar...

then adding white pepper
and chopped onion.

Then let the vinegar evaporate...
before you...

...and add the yolks, and start beating.

You know your stuff!

- Inspector Wiman.
- Johnson.

So that gives a good result.

But you really have to
beat it properly.

But they don't do that
any more, these days.

Everything has to be done quickly.

It's nothing but sloppiness!

You can't get a decent
piece of steak in Stockholm.

And don't get me started
on meatballs!

Meatballs!

I'm glad I'm old enough to remember
when meatballs were meatballs.

They sure were.

Just answer one question.

If Mr Johnson hasn't been...

...Mr Johnson...

...so perhaps you can tell me
what became of him.

No.

I can't, right now.

No, my friend is
quite a Casanova.

No, he's not like that at all!

Well... is there anyone
in particular you suspect?

Yes...

...and no.

He got himself mixed up
with a fortune-hunter.

I expected that...
We have her too.

...the unknown one.

Now, as I'm led to believe,
she's fled the country...

in an aeroplane.

I saw when the lady in question
flew off.

And you expect me
to believe that?

Believe what you like...
but that's what happened!

You can see for yourself, Mr Wiman.

I've locked the scoundrels in.

They're yours.

No, I won't fall for that.

Now I'll give you...

...24 hours to think about it.

Take him out.

Inspector... please...

Enough!

But I haven't done anything.

I believe you.

Do you?!

Then I've nothing to worry about.

So then, you really are...?

Yes. I hope you're not mad at me.

No, the opposite.

The opposite?

Yes , if I'd known from the start
that you were a millionaire...

...maybe I'd...

Talking with an accused
is forbidden!

Take him away!

But if you lock me up...

...how will it go for those crooks
that I tied up?

You can't just leave them there.

Can we just forget about
that idiotic story.

You've got two scoundrels
on the brain...

But you don't give a damn about
my poor dinner-guests.

- No... Look!
- Wiman...

Look, Wiman.

There he is!

Fridolf!

Look! There he is!

There he is!

Fridolf!

Pardon my asking,
but who exactly is he?

Who? Who do you think?

The murder victim!

Maybe I should introduce myself.

- My name is...
- I know that!

My name is Anna-Lisa.

Let go!

Come along, Brita.

- Well, well, hi Fridolf!
- Hi.

Where have you been
all this time?

I've been away.

I've been...

...at a holiday cottage.

Holiday cottage?

That seems to clear everything up.

Seeing as the murder victim
has returned unharmed...

...and no incriminating evidence
was presented in any way...

...I release him unconditionally.

- Goodbye, Mr Johnson.
- Goodbye, Wiman.

Very glad to have met you.

Drop in for dinner some day.

Thank you, Wiman.

Goodbye, Wiman.

Did you know him?

Yeah, that was Wiman.

Police inspector.

He interrogated me.

Just get out of here I tell you!

The only thing you can do now.

Fridolf... You're not coming
to the engagement party?

No, I'm not...
I have a stomach ache.

After all that filthy pea soup.

And if your mother-in-law's
invited to the party...

...I won't answer
for the consequences.

As you wish, Fridolf.

Hey, Frid!

There's something I forgot.

Got to check out
how you look.

Good luck, old man!

Very likely, this is HER.

Hallo, Marg...

Who is it?

It's you, Wiman?

Hello, my friend.

Hello, Johnson my friend.

I just wanted to tell you that
your two scoundrels are in the klink.

That's good.
They'll be comfortable there.

I know that from experience.

Tell me Wiman, how did it go
with the veal steaks?

Burnt, unfortunately.

Right now, I'm working
on the Bearnaise sauce.

Divine!

Why don't you come
and join us for dinner?

Thank's a lot Wiman.
That sounds lovely...

But no, Wiman, I can't make it.
I've something else on.

Some other time. Thanks, Wiman.

I felt I simply HAD
to come back.

But it'll just be a crank call!

But it's only name-calling!

I'll sort it out with Inspector Wiman.

He and I are the best of friends now.

Oh, you sweet wee thing, Marguerite!

Not so wee perhaps...
but you ARE sweet!

Marguerite...

Now we'll continue
from where we left off.

Remember?

Drinking cognac?

Cognac? Are you thick
in the head?

But I could take a tiny
wee little cognac.

I must say... Shoemakers...

No, you little devil...

This time you don't get a chance.

Did you hear what I said,
you damned mongrel?!

Cheers, my noble rescuer!

Cheers, Marguerite.

Here's to a wonderful romance.

Subtitles by FatPlank for KG