The Wonderpill (2015) - full transcript

- What's up?

Babe?

What's that?

What is that doing here?

What is this?

What the?

- Yeah this whole fiasco
started about five,

six years ago when my wife
passed away, Jessie's mom.

He was never the same after that.

He just stopped going to school.

He just disappeared for days on end.



I had no idea where he
was; when he'd come back,

he'd have no answers for me,
just like talking to a wall.

He even sold my dead wife's jewelry.

I mean how low can you go?

A disgrace, how can you do that?

I mean she just died;
you sold all the jewelry.

- I wanna know what is that doing here.

I don't know.

Sit down!

He's killing what's left of my family.

My biggest fear is that
I'm gonna lose Jessie,

lose another loved one.

I mean first my wife, and now I see him

going,



going away,

even dying.

Nothing else to say.

I don't know what else to say.

I don't know what to do.

Fuck you, I'm an
Egyptian Christian, asshole.

- Hey, Sweetie Puss.

What a fucking mess, huh?

You know, it really wouldn't
hurt you to clean up

every once in a while.

- Sup, Fish?

- Dang, Sweetie Puss.

How ya doin', Sweetie Puss?

- You had a good time with the boys?

- Uh-Huh.

You know, Sweetie Puss, I was thinking.

How 'bout we fuck?

- Fuck Fish, you really know how

to make girls' juices flow.

- Don't tell me you got another migraine.

- I have one every day
as you already know.

- A couple of months, it's gotten worse.

He started getting--

- Come on, Sweetie Puss.

Come on, you gotta give me
a little blowjob, alright?

Come on, just a little sucky sucky, huh?

You know what I'm saying?

- Okay, but you gotta close your eyes.

- Alright.

- That bitch, I swear to to fuck.

- I'm flabbergasted.

You're a lunatic,
Athena, but a lovely one.

- I just don't understand
why this dick has no empathy.

He's such a selfish bastard.

- I agree completely, Honey, but true love

should carry every
burden in a relationship.

- Fuck true love; I'm not
sure that even exists.

- Love should be overarching.

At least, that's how I imagine it

if I ever find Mr Perfect.

- Oh, you will babe; you will.

You're the most awesome and
beautiful girl in the world.

The only problem is this
world is filled with assholes.

They don't appreciate girls like you.

Check.

- You're welcome.

- You know, I might stay a little longer.

Can I have a latte?

- Sure.

- One of the difficult ones?

- One?

I forgot when I last time
enjoyed this fucking job.

- Hey, coming to get your coffee?

- Ladies.

- Helen Darling, how are you?

- Good, thanks.

- So what's up?

- Not much, and you?

- Life is marvelous and
Jacob is a treasure.

- I see.

- It's not even worth talking about.

It's always the same issue.

- I'm sorry to hear that.

So how's Mom?

- There's something called visiting, girl.

Have you heard of
telephone to get in touch

with people you know?

- I know and I feel bad about it, I do,

but I'm in the middle of final exams

and I have no time for anything.

- Hey, Mom is not just anything.

- Damn Athena, you know
exactly how I meant it.

- Here go, Baby.

- Thanks, I gotta go.

I promise I'll try to visit her.

- Yeah, adieu yourself in the ass.

- So yeah man, it must have
been like eight months ago.

- Yeah, fuck that; I can
never go that long without it.

- Yeah bro, and bitch is a lazy ass too.

You should see the mess in our crib, bro.

- Have you ever thought about
cleaning up after yourself?

- What do you think I'm
doing every second week?

But it only takes her a day and we're back

into motherfucking Hoarder's Paradise

all because of those fucking
migraines and other excuses.

I don't wanna talk about that.

- You know, migraines
have become an epidemic

in the last 20 years and
the causes are really

hard to diagnose.

You should take that seriously

and take her to a neurologist.

- She's been to every specialist, alright,

not to mention taken
every pill on this planet,

every scan, CAT Scan, MRI
Scans, you know about that shit.

Dude, asshole scans!

Nothing works, that's why I'm starting

to think it's all fucking bullshit.

- Maybe she should try
some alternative medicine,

acupuncture, something like that.

- Fuck it, I don't want
to talk about it, man.

But guys, guys, what I
always wanted to know

is Carl, when you have a spontaneous fuck

with a nice chap right, how do you know

the mangina's shit-free?

No, not again; fuck bro!

- Every time we get together,

he starts with assholes and shit.

- He has a real deep anal fixation, right?

- No no, but seriously, like what happens?

You guys are horny as fuck and
14 year old rapists, right?

And then what?

Oh no wait.

No, wait, wait, stop!

I gotta clean my asshole with an enema.

- Here we go, I can see
- wonderful image.

- 14 year old rapist, really?

Why?

- No, but seriously guys.

Oh no, wait, I know what happens.

Do you take like a laxative
a couple of hours before?

Oh no wait, you do some
drill testing, right?

You do some drill testing.

- Be serious and stop.

I'm totally beginning to think
you're a homophobe, alright?

- Of course, yeah, and
that's why me and Carl

have been friends forever and
we run a shop together, right.

Oh and by the way, you've never told me

if you're a top or bottom.

- And you will never find out.

- They should make a pill
for your homophobia, bro.

- Speaking of pills,

alright I just read the
latest placebo research.

It's actually pretty interesting.

- Yeah, yeah, nice way
to change the topic.

- Anyway, so listen, people
with chronic back pain, alright,

were giving a placebo pill and
if they trust their doctor,

the back pain was cured,
no pain whatsoever.

- You mean just like a sugar pill?

It's like a

- But they knew it was a placebo?

- No no no, it worked either way.

- Wonderful.

Alright fellas, good seeing you guys.

Have a good night.

Carl, see you tomorrow, alright?

- Alright.

Take care, man.

- See ya at the shop, Carl.

- Anyway, Jacob I gotta go.

- No no, wait Max, I got
something to tell you.

Alright, I have a brilliant idea.

- Yeah, right.

- Yeah and fuck you too, okay.

- You know, I was thinking,
what if we told Athena

that you have this new drug for migraines.

- Say what?

- Placebo, bro, alright.

We'll tell her it's this
new experimental drug,

not FDA approved, yada yada yada.

- This sounds really not like--

- Wait, wait, and here comes the kicker:

You're gonna tell her it's a,

she'll have this insane desire
for constant sex, alright,

an exploding libido, alright.

Dude think about it.
- You're crazy.

No way, no way.

No way.

- Max listen, think about
the fucking field study

you can make of this.

This can be the solution, man.

- It's ludicrous, it's
unethical, it's plain wrong.

You've got some major
malfunctions up there bro, okay.

No way, I gotta go.

- But Max, I'm sorry, alright.

Wait, I gotta explain.
- There's nothing to explain.

Just let it go, okay.

I'm not gonna do anything evil
to Athena or anybody, okay?

I've gotta go.

- Dude, I'm serious.

I'm just embarrassed to say it, okay.

Athena wants to break up.

- Really?

- Yeah, we had an argument

and she basically said she
doesn't see a future, man.

- That's not good.

I mean I'm sorry.

It's kinda understandable considering

what kind of boyfriend you are,

but it's still not good; I'm sorry.

- I mean, of course, but
when I'm with you guys,

you know, I'm all macho and stuff,

but dude, when I'm alone,

I cry in my pillow, man.

Yeah.

- You guys have been
together for six years

and I've seen so many changes in you,

and not all for the better.

I mean, you used to love to cook,

new recipes,

great culinary feasts.

No offense, darling.

- Sorry Mom, next time
I'll cook you real food.

- Oh Honey, I'm kidding,

but I'm serious about your hobbies,

your passions,

the way you used to paint,

dance for hours on end on the weekends.

Now on top of everything,
you've gotta come here

and take care of me every day.

- Stop it, Mom; you know I love you

and I would do anything for you.

We don't have money for a nurse.

- I know, Honey.

I just feel bad that you gotta
spend so much time over here.

If only your spoiled sister would step up.

She doesn't even visit anymore.

- She has final exams.

- Pfft!

- Anyway, I think all my
issues are from my migraines.

They're draining me out, and my sex drive,

it wasn't hot to begin with.

- Then maybe you need to think about

when your migraines started.

Sweetie Puss?

You know, I'm sorry.

I really am.

I know I should be more understanding.

- I'm sorry I slapped your dick.

- Yeah, that was a
brand-new experience, huh?

- I know you liked it.

- I love you, Sweetie Puss.

- I love you too, Fish.

- I was just talking to Max and he said

he had this new experimental
drug for migraines.

- You know, I've tried everything.

- This worked on like
the most extreme cases.

- Really?

- This looks like the real deal,

the real shit, you know what I'm saying?

- I don't know.

I'll think about it.

Maybe I'll talk to him.

- Yes, because they're experimental

and they wanna test the
reactions and the side effects.

- Which are?

- Ha, well that's a
bit of a caveat really.

In some of the test
subjects, they've experienced

restlessness, uber-high
energy and sleeplessness.

- That's not so bad.

- Well there is another side effect, yeah.

- Fuck Max, don't keep me on tender hooks.

- Well, you may experience

an elevated libido.

- Haha, that will be the day.

Anything else?

- No, no.

Well, actually yes.

I mean, yes.

It's not just an increased libido.

Some of the other subjects,
especially the female ones

have experienced an extreme

lust for sex,

a constant need for sex,

craving for sex all day long, just sex,

sex,

sex, sex, all day long,

sex,

sex.

- Huh.

And you're saying all these subjects

have no migraines after
taking just one pill?

- I don't know if I would
take the pill, Honey,

especially 'cause it's so experimental.

I don't know, maybe try
it for a couple of days

and see how you feel.

- Fuck sis, if I had headaches every day,

I would most def try it.
- Lady.

- Yummy.

- Yeah 'cause that's
what some ladies told me

after getting the special
Anthony treatment.

- Wow, you should really be a porn star.

- This is just the beginning, look.

- Yeah Baby, show me what you got.

- Okay, okay, I see we're
talking with talent okay,

but see, Helen and Susan over here,

they're lesbians,

and Lola over there,

she has big dick,

and I'm married sand have four kids.

- What the fuck did you
bitches do to Anthony?

- Okay girls, I think it's time.

- Yeah.

- What, what the fuck happened?

My god.

- That was crazy.
- Did you see?

Come on.

- You wanna end up like
this guy back there?

- What do you mean?

- That's how all men are, no?

Always thinking about sex,

and therefore, they have no other brain

to be left for anything else, right?

And as you said, this is
the biggest side effect

of your migraine pill,

a crazy libido.

I mean you don't even know if
this is the worse side effect.

You could become suicidal,
or even homicidal, right?

- Oh wow, Sweetie Puss, I don't remember

the last time you made breakfast.

- Hey Baby.

- Hey, Sweetie Puss.

- I love it hard and wide, Baby.

- Alright.

- Gee Athena, are you okay?

- Susan, I can invade a small country

in a bikini with an AK-47
and become fucking queen

by the end of the day.

- I'm so happy for you.

- I mean it's not just the energy,

headaches are gone, migraines are gone.

It's all fucking unbelievable; I love it.

- Aw Sweetie.

- We fucked like three times this morning.

- Good for you.

- And I rubbed carpet twice since then.

- Wow, so it really is true
about the side effects.

- And I'm in heat like a fucking dog.

I mean, you see this guy?

I'll go to fuck him until
he kicks the bucket.

- Oh eww, Athena, that's disgusting.

- And I'll still fuck him nonstop.

- Oh my god!

- 'Til rigor mortis dissipates.

- Okay stop, stop, I can't
listen to this anymore.

- Three days later.

- You're gonna make me pee my pants.

- Panties are so soaked
from my coochie dripping

like a fucking leaking honey pot.

- Holy shit.

- Fuck it, I'm going to the bathroom

visiting funny fingers.

Pale lord.

- No worries, Sir, it's just our TV.

- Yeah, sounds like one of
those nasty titty films.

Hey Athena, all good?

- All good.

Sir, would you like anything else?

It's crazy, I never
ever felt so pumped up.

It's the best shit ever happened to me.

The problem is I have too much energy,

and of course insatiable lust for sex

all of the time.

It's strange, but I'm loving it.

- Maybe you should try
some yoga or Pilates,

you know, something to calm down.

- Yes, that's a good idea.

- No, with a bunch of pretentious bitches?

Nah.

- Hey, I do Pilates.

- Exactly.

- I know, we should try Zoomba.

- What's that?

- It's this fitness program in which

you go over Latin American dance moves.

- Sounds interesting.

- Sounds better.

Let's try it tomorrow?

- Hey I need a break.

I need a break.

- You okay, man?

- Yeah.

I don't know if I'm
gonna survive the sting.

So how are things going
with you and Athena?

- Oh great man, yeah.

You know, she's always
energetic; she's very happy.

Oh yeah, and she doesn't talk
about breaking up anymore.

- That's good to here, Jacob.

It's good to hear.

So, how's the other thing?

You know, if you don't mind me asking.

- What?

The fucking?

Oh man.
- Yes.

She's not going crazy is she?

- No no no man, I'm telling
you, she's a machine.

We fuck like crazy.

In fact, dude, I can't even
keep it up sometimes, alright.

You know Max, I was thinking,

can we like probably tweak
it down a little bit?

Yeah man, it's like,
you'll just tell her that,

you know, it's, the
side effects are just a,

temporary, you know, and that in time,

she'll just, it will go
down, you know, her libido.

- Jacob, Jacob, stop
complaining, man, okay.

A placebo can be a powerful thing.

I did you a favor, now
you have to deal with it.

I'm not gonna tell her anything, okay.

You just have to deal with it

until we finish the experiment, okay,

which I hope is gonna be soon.

- Woah woah woah, wait a second, man.

You don't gotta wet your panties, alright.

Damn.

- Hola, Senor, como esta?

Senor, you're very very dirty.

I must clean you now.

- Four steps back

and back in the center.

And some jumping jacks

and one, two three, cooling off

and that's it, guys.

Good workout, give yourselves a hand.

Awesome.

Such a great class, isn't it?

- It was awesome; I'm
glad you worked it out.

- Yeah, yeah.

- It was awesome.

- Cool, you guys new to the class, right?

- Yeah, first time.

Great workout.

I'm Helen, this is
Athena, Susan, and Lola.

- Hi.

- You look like you had fun,

but you, Athena right?

You've done Zoomba before right?

I mean you,

you're a professional dancer?

- No actually, I'm the opposite,

more of a couch potato.

- A couch potato?

I never would have guessed.

I mean you've got great
moves, lots of stamina.

- Oh yeah, Athena, she's
got lots of stamina.

- Okay, nice to have met
you ladies, okay bye.

- So Honey, how are you doing?

How are your exams going?

- Good, I can't complain.

I've got one last exam, and
then I'm officially a paralegal.

- I'm so proud of you.

- Good job.

- Thank you, Honey.

- Now, I completely forgot you can cook.

It's marvelous.

- How's your love life?

Anybody we should know about?

- No, not really.

Well, there kinda is.

- What the fuck does that mean.

- I'm having an affair, okay.

- Oh, we got a little devil here.

- He's married and has kids.

What can I say, I'm the cliche mistress

waiting for him top leave his wife.

- Fuck and you didn't tell me about it?

- How long have you been canoodling?

- I don't know exactly.

It doesn't matter; I'm not
sure about him anymore anyway.

- Oh Honey, I'm sorry,

but you know, you're a pretty,
intelligent young woman.

There's gotta be a nice, normal,

decent guy out there for you.

- You can't help who you
fall for; it's how it is.

- I'm still shocked that
you kept this dark secret.

You have to tell me all about him.

- The truth is I'm more
concerned about you.

- Why?

- You're not yourself anymore,

and I can't help but wonder

if this drug isn't doing you some damage.

- No need to worry; I've
got it under control.

I feel fantastic.

There are no negative side effects.

- Yeah, what's the issue, Honey?

- I just have a bad feeling, that's all.

- Hey, Sweetie Puss, how'd it go?

- Good, but not as good as your dick.

- Woah, Sweetie Puss, wait, wait.

You know what?

How 'bout you let me finish this game,

and after that, I'm gonna fuck you so hard

you won't be able to sit for a week.

- I hope that's a promise.

So I asked if he's be serious.

- And?

- And he says, "Yes,
of course I'm serious."

We should nuke Africa and all
the other loser countries,

Problem solved.

- Holy fuck, where did
you find this loser?

And on top of everything,
he expected me to pay,

and he expected me to take
him to my place to fuck.

- Oh, and did you?

- Are you crazy?

I would have rather fucked
a granny in a wheelchair.

- But he was hot?

- Yeah, killer features, killer body,

a real fucking Adonis
until he opened his mouth.

Ignorance is so unattractive.

- Absolutamente.

- Sweetie, are you okay?

Holy shit, Sweetie.

- Can I talk to you in private?

- Yeah, yeah.

Feel okay, Sweetie Puss?

- I'm in pain; it hurts so much.

- Where, your head?

- No.

- It hurts so much over here.

- What the fuck, Sweetie Puss?

I thought something bad happened?

- Come on, Fish, don't
be a pussy; stick it in.

Destroy me, come on.

- I don't got time for this!

I'm working as you can see.

- Are you fucking serious?

You're gonna really let me hang with this?

- We fuck like a million times
a day and it's not enough?

- Oh, that's how it is?

When you wanted to fuck, it didn't matter

if I was in the mood or not, right fucker?

- I'm gonna get a coffee.

- I gotta finish this
t-shirt like by tomorrow

for a client, okay?

- Screw you, limp dick.

- Hi there; what can I get you guys?

- Two vodka tonics and two Merlot.

- Can I see some ID please?

Really?

Your name's Athena Cockburn?

Cockburn?

- Dude, I hear this all my life.

It's pronounced Co-burn.

- Okay, alright, didn't
mean to offend, Co-burn.

The way you look, I wouldn't be surprised

if your name wasn't a
prophecy for most men.

- Only the ones who are worth it.

- That's good to know.

I'm Gavin.

- We need to change our last name.

- Or get married.

- And have a lot of kids.

Unbelievable.

- Who the fuck would have thought that?

- He's very interesting fish.

- Can always stick it

Yeah.

- That's what makes him hot.

- Nah, and he could be your father.

- Still, you know, there's
something intriguing

and mysterious about him.

So how's Jacob?

- Good.

- Any fights lately?

- Not really.

Look, Fish just doesn't wanna fuck enough.

It is becoming a vaginal issue.

I don't know how long I can hold it back

before I jump fuck the next passing dick.

- Hell, why don't you do it with somebody?

- What?

- I mean, you don't have to tell him.

- You really surprised me lately.

- Hey, maybe I'm just maturing
and becoming more realistic,

or pragmatic depending
on how you look at it.

- No, I could never do that?

Well, I hope so.

- Hello, ladies.

I guess Jersey City is a
village after all, huh?

- And you must be the village jester,

you know, singing and dancing.

You must tell jokes too.

- No, no jokes, and I'm
very bad at telling jokes.

- Are there any talents
or other professions

we should know about?

Maybe some secrets?

- No secrets.

Well actually, I do have
a couple of women chained

in my basement because I
do enjoy the occasional

human filet mignon in a red wine sauce.

It's a joke.

I told you, I'm very bad
at telling jokes, okay.

Hey, why don't you let
me buy you a drink, okay?

- Sure.

Thank you.

- Hey, I'm having a party
at my place next week.

You guys wanna come?

My friend, Theo, is coming.

- Oh yes, thank you for the invite.

We'd love to come.

- You okay?

- Of course.

Are you doing anything, like right now?

I think we can go to your place,

and you know?

- Oh okay, I get it.

No, actually I really have to get up

very early tomorrow and go to work.

- Sure.

No problem.

Holy fuck!

More!

More!

Come on!

Fuck!

- Place,

deep breath,

and that's it.

Thank you, great workout everybody.

Athena, do you have a moment.

- Victor, listen.

- I just, look.

- Victor, I told you I was drunk, okay.

I'm sorry.

Let's just stay friends
and not mention this again.

- I'm sorry, okay.

I'm just not used to this kind of thing.

- What do you mean?

- Dating and stuff.

I apologize, okay again.

I just wanted to come
over for a drink and chat.

I'm not a one-night-stand type of guy.

I'm not saying you are either.

I'm just saying,

you know, I'm not used to getting offers

from beautiful young women.

I just want to get to know you better.

Please.

Please.

- You're not going to chain
me in the basement, are you?

- Hi.

- Holy shit, Fish.

What is your third job?

A drug dealer?

- I used to manage a hedge fund.

It's along time ago, back in the 90's.

- So bank stuff?

Are you rich?

- Well, let's just say that
this condo's very modest

compared to the house I used to live in,

but I can't complain.

- And why did you stop robbing people?

- I actually had a burn-out,

so I just took all my
money and left Manhattan.

- And now you are a singer
and a Zoomba teacher.

- Yeah maybe, in a way.

Would you like some white wine?

- Sure.

- Thank you.

Who's this?

- Oh, that's,

that's my sister.

- She's beautiful.

- Yeah, she was.

She passed a long time ago.

- I'm so sorry to hear about that.

- Yeah well, that's life.

Would you like to sit?

- Sure.

- Are you okay?

You're not uncomfortable
here with me, right?

- I'm so sorry.

I have so much shit going
on right now in my life,

and I did things I'm not proud of.

- Oh?

- Actually, I'm very
comfortable around you,

and I feel like I can talk
to you about anything.

- Great, same here.

- I cheated on my boyfriend.

- Okay.

- Just so atypical of me.

I've never done anything like this.

Now I'm full of guilt and
I don't know what to do.

- I mean, where you guys having issues

or did you just fall in
love with somebody else?

- No, it was one time thing,

and I mean I don't know if
I should tell my boyfriend.

What would you do?

- Well let me ask you this.

If your boyfriend cheated on you,

would you want to know?

- Hell Yeah.

- Then maybe that's your answer.

- I gotta tell Jacob;
it's driving me nuts.

- What if he breaks up with you?

- It's not my fault; it's that damn pill.

- Maybe.

- The fuck you mean maybe?

- Look, don't get snippy with me.

You guys haven't exactly been, you know.

- What?

- You have been complaining
about this relationship

for a long time.

- Yeah I know, babe.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a bitch.

Maybe that's more a reason I
need to come clean with him.

Maybe.

I can't wait until I get it over with.

Would you mind if I leave?

There's not much going on.

- Sure Honey, go ahead.

I can handle it here.

- Thank you, Babe; I owe you one.

Fish?

Fish, are you here?

Fish?

Fish, I...

- Wow.

Wow.

I guess it makes us even now.

- What did you say?

- Look, I'm sorry, okay.

I was drunk.

Hey lady, you can come out now, it's okay.

- Did you fucking cheat on me?

- Look, I'm not mad at you, okay.

We had a rough patch.

We both fucked up; let's
just forget about this.

Yo lady, it's okay to come out, really.

Okay, I'm going to leave right now.

By the time I come back, that
slut has to be gone, okay?

- Oh ho ho, now you call me a slut, huh?

- Wait Sweetie Puss, don't
make this harder, okay?

- Fucking bitch, what about you?

Oh you're not the holy
Athena now anymore, are you?

- Woah, woah!

Shut up, Sweetie Puss.

- You said you wanted to
break up with her anyway,

didn't you?

- You fucking, conniving asshole!

And you, Helen, you fucking traitor!

I'm going to fucking kill you both!

- Woah, woah.

- And you, Helen!

- Oh my god.

- Woah!

Woah!

Oh my god!

- I'm done with you both.

I'm through, you hear me!

I'm done!

- Excuse me, miss.

Sorry to interrupt you.

Is this place occupied?

- Sure, I don't own this bench.

You can sit if you'd like.

- You are so kind.

Most people are so
detached, so self-contained.

They're even afraid of us
involuntarily

but not you.

You are a ray of light in this dark world.

- Thanks.

- What a wonderful day
it is today, isn't it?

- Yes it is.

- I've been on these hooves all day,

and they're so dry.

I'm sorry, may I offer you some lotion?

- No thanks.

- It's very important to
take care of your body

and your soul too of course.

- Absolutely.

Well, I gotta go; have a wonderful day.

- Young lady?

Thank you so much.

You are a wonderful lady.

May all your wishes
come true in your life.

Can you believe your own sister

would do something like that?

- Well, if I had one and she did,

I'd rip her heart out, barbecue it

and eat it like a pork chop.

Look, I can't understand exactly
what you're going through,

but Helen really disappointed me too.

I had no idea she could be
such a treacherous person.

- Holy moly!

Are these from you?

- Yeah.

- They're freaking amazing;
you never showed me.

You're so talented.

- I don't know.

I guess.

Did I tell you I
started again.

- Actually no, but that's awesome.

- Since I had so much
energy and I couldn't sleep

for the past few weeks,
I've been working so crazy.

- Yeah, but you don't have any headaches.

- True, that's the only reason

I'm still taking those freaking pills.

How about you and I, we do a show together

and you will say yes.

- What?

- You have to start taking risks,

otherwise nothing will happen.

- What I want to know about is Victor.

How was it?

- He's cute, but he's more of a loner.

- What I mean is did you guys, you know?

- No, he's very reserved.

I would say very conservative,

but a very very good friend,

an unfuckable friend.

I need to get over Jacob.

The only way is

through my pussy.

Ah, I need a drink and a fuck.

Let's go to a bar.

- Oh Honey, I'm so tired and
I'm really not in the mood.

- Alright, well I'm gonna go change,

and don't wait up for me.

♫ Turned on by a sigh

♫ Mona Lisa Mona Lisa

♫ Smile and be quiet

♫ Mona Lisa pull your hand

♫ Up escape the fire

♫ Simple hands simple hands

♫ Smoothing out clothes

♫ It's so bad it feels good

♫ Dark and stormy night

♫ Push your luck

♫ Push your luck

♫ In the grandest style

♫ Born to be wild

♫ With these simple hands

♫ Simple hands

- She was even more
beautiful in real life.

- I can only imagine.

- Yeah, she was the kindest,
warmest person I ever met.

Victor,

Victor fell apart after she died.

He hasn't been in a relationship since.

- What do you mean?

- Charlotte, his wife,

after she died of a brain tumor.

Oh, you didn't know?

- Oh course I knew.

- Excuse me.

- Hi, Theo.
- Hi.

- You have a voice like an angel.

- Oh, you do too.

And you're beautiful too.

- Well, thank you.

- I'm so stupid.

- No, don't be silly.

- I just don't feel
comfortable talking about her.

I know it's no excuse, but
she was the love of my life,

and when she passed, I just fell into this

deep, dark place.

- I really understand, Victor.

I was just a bit
surprised when he told me.

I'm so sorry about your loss; I really am.

- Can I ask you a question?

- Sure.

- You like creepy stuff, right?

- How did you know?

- You wanna go on a trip tomorrow?

- Where to?

- You'll see.

- Sure, I'd like to see
what you label creepy

Nothing with human flesh and chains.

Holy fuck, this is awesome!

This is really a nice surprise.

I had a feeling you'd like it.

And why was this closed?

Well you know,
so many places like this one

were closed because of,
you know, patient abuse

and overcrowding, unsafe
building materials.

- I read once; it all
started with JFK's sister,

had a lobotomy, right?

- Exactly, exactly.

Right after Rosemary
Kennedy was lobotomized

and then JFK started looking
into places like this,

you know, and shutting them down.

He was for deinstitutionalization really.

He just wanted to get people
out of places like this one

and put 'em into more humane locations.

- De-Instinctive,

what a word.

And meds help too.

- Of course,

but antidepressants weren't introduced

until the 50s or 60s, and
that helped out a lot.

I just love visiting places like this,

you know, where people lived and died.

I don't know why I'm so attracted to them.

- I just can't stand this.

It seems if you don't have
a big, successful life,

you're a failure.

You read it everywhere.

You know, you have to make career, money,

get married, stay buff.

Once I read an article,

you have to be stupid not
to strive for happiness.

- But I mean who defines happiness?

Society?

And by the way, who defines
what's the right way to live?

That's how I felt about my old job.

Everything was money,
success all the time.

- We can go further:

success is happiness.

This is why I feel so
bad for today's kids.

Everyone wants to be musician or actor.

Everyone wants to be rich and famous.

- There was time when people were happy

just opening a little business in the town

they were born in, maybe
like a little bakery,

had children.

They got married; that was it.

- Exactly, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.

Why can't people be
happy with a modest life.

- Yeah, let less; you know, a little less,

but more quality of life.

Maybe there would be fewer divorces,

you know, more people spending time

with their children
instead of their lovers.

I'll be going away on a trip soon.

Oh really?

Where to?

- I don't know, I've
traveled most of the world,

but I've never been to Russia or China,

so I'm thinking of doing
he Trans-Siberian Express.

- By train?

- Yeah, it leads outta Moscow, right;

goes right through Mongolia
straight into Pyongyang.

- Wow, that sounds mind-blowing.

You know, I would love to travel.

It's not like I've been anywhere,

but I actually never left the US.

I always dreamed of Europe:

Paris, Rome,

Madrid, Amsterdam.

How long will you be gone for?

- I don't like to rush when I travel.

I like to take in every little detail,

you know, the people,
the food, the culture,

so I'm thinking I don't
know, about a year.

- Oh wow.

I will miss you.

I could never do a trip like that.

No money,

job.

I take daily care of my mom.

She can barely walk or move.

- And you take care of her alone?

- Yeah, I go there every evening;

sometimes during the day before my shift.

You know, I love her;
it doesn't bother me.

- That is really honorable of you.

- Well, it's a freaking modest life

that we were talking about right?

Incredibly satisfying.

You wanna come upstairs?

- That was a wonderful kiss,
the best I had in a long time.

- Thank you.

- But the truth is that

I'm not ready yet.

I mean honestly, I feel stupid saying no

to a beauty like you, but I,

I just need more time.

I hope you're not disappointed.

- How could I, Victor?

You're a rare gentleman.

I actually never met anyone like you.

Thank you for a wonderful day.

I really enjoyed every second of it.

- Ha, you're in love!

- No way!

I don't know, he's strange.

We didn't even fuck yet.

- Well, maybe that's a good thing.

You know, touch a person's soul

before you touch their body.

That's the way it's supposed to be, right?

- In your fairy fantasy
world where having sex

means to stroke the wings of each other.

I mean cum shot means sprinkling some

fairy dust or some shit.

- Just make fun of me
'cause your own love life

is so wonderful, right?

- I don't need douchebags;
I just want their cocks.

- That's exactly medicine
I need right now.

- Well, go and get it; what's the issue?

- A couple of days ago, a stranger

approached me on the street.

- And?

- He asked me if I was the
girl that likes to fuck.

- What?

- And then he asked if I wanna fuck him.

- Oh holy shit, you are
officially the number one

Jersey City whore.

- What did you say?

- I slapped him in the face.

- Fuck yeah, and then?

- Well, I was horny.

What else was I supposed to do?

- No, you did not!

You are crazier than I thought.

- For the past few weeks,

I fucked so many guys, I went
from tampon regular to ultra.

I think I need to go incognito,
like wear some big glasses

and a wig, and maybe grow a beard.

- You are killing me.

- I'm going to open an
online dating account

and start dating guys from there.

- Will you wear your dark
glasses when you fuck?

- Hell yeah, it's not like I wanna see

their stupid faces anyhow.

- So, if I may ask, is
it too bright in here?

- Actually, yes; I'm sorry.

I have an eye disease and--

- I'm sorry to hear that.

It's just, I mean I wish I
could see your eyes, you know.

- Yeah right, like you
really wanna see that

and not this.

- Okay, I mean, they're
really nice too but,

you wanna order something?

- How could you possibly do
something so off-the-charts?

I mean with her sister?

Come on!

- Thanks, you don't have to
rub it in my face, alright.

- But it's hopefully over now, right?

- Athena doesn't answer
the phone, texts, nothing.

- Ah man, you are incredible.

Anyhow, we have to end our experiment.

This is taking too long.

- The things we did, man.

You should have seen that;
she was a fucking machine.

- And the dream is over.

We have to finish this
now, do you hear me?

We can't continue this placebo experiment.

It's unethical and wrong.

Finished, okay?

- No man, I mean are you crazy?

Nobody got hurt, right?

It was just a sugar pill.

No man, and going back to
a no sex life, Hell no.

You should've seen her, man.

It was a fucking dream, alright?

The things we did, hahaha.

No, no no.
- Are you okay?

- Oh my fucking god.

- Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.

I'm such a clumsy daisy.

- Hey!

- It didn't hurt?

- Stop, lady!

- It didn't hurt?

You motherfucker!

You piece of shit asshole!

Didn't hurt?
- Oh my god.

You, You!

- Get up, bitch!

It's time to fuck!

Okay Fish, stick it in and
fuck me as hard as you can.

- Okay, can you help me out here?

- What?

I didn't know some

- You either fuck me in a
minute, or I'm out, okay, bitch?

- Alright, alright.

Alright, just give me a second, alright?

- Give me a second, a
second; I'm almost done.

- Athena?

Athena, you okay?

Athena?

Come on, come on, let's go up.

It was all fake.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

Athena, I'm not sure this
is a really good idea, okay.

- Right now, this is the
only thing I'm sure about.

- Jeez, I mean I don't know what to say.

What they did to you is really disgusting.

Are you gonna sue them?

- No.

- Why not?

I mean what they did
is pretty much a crime.

- Oh, I have some nice ideas for payback.

Suing would be too easy for those idiots.

- And they surely deserve it.

Will you let me know what
you're gonna do to them?

- It depends.

- Mmm, on what?

- On how nice you're going to be with me.

- Come with me.

- What do you mean?

- On the trip, come with me.

Join me.

- You're crazy; you
know I don't have money.

- Forget about the money, okay.

I'll take care of everything.

I'll even hire the best nurses
to take care of your mother.

- Yes, but what happens when I come back?

I don't have a job and I
probably don't have an apartment,

and I'll have to start from the beginning.

- Look, I'm 100 % sure I
want you to come with me

on this trip, okay, and
I can take care of you

for years to come until
you get back on your feet,

even for the rest of your life.

I mean--

- Let's not argue and
just enjoy the moment.

- We sent the invitations out too, right?

- Yep, everything is organized.

It's all, no worries.

- I don't think I'm gonna
make it to the opening.

- Oh, stop it.

You'll see, everything will be wonderful.

Besides, it's always
hard for the first time.

Eww.
- What?

- Hey, Susan.
- Hmmph!

- Hey, Sweetie Puss.

- What the fuck do you want?

- Sweetie Puss, listen.

You gotta give me a minute, alright?

I don't have the words to express the pain

and the anguish, okay.

You know, with that Helen
stuff and that other thing,

even if my intentions were
right, I fucked up, okay.

- That other thing?

You fucking asshole!

Do have any idea what I went through

when I found out, huh?

You motherfucker!

- I can't imagine, okay,
and that's why I'm so sorry.

- What do you think this is?

A cheesy romantic comedy?

You come here with flowers and chocolates

and it's all hunky dory,
we're gonna live happily

'til the end of our fucking lives?

- Listen, you're angry, okay,
and the thing with Helen,

that was just an escape.

- An escape?

An escape to her warm, cozy, rotten cunt!

- It's over, okay.

I finished it; I love you,

and only you, okay.

You gotta believe me.

Listen, I understand what I did, okay,

and that's why I went
into fucking hyper mode

and really thought about
my actions, alright.

- I'm still so confused about
this entire fucking thing.

My life right now

is fucked up.

- I know, Sweetie; that's
why you gotta give me

a second chance,

alright.

It will all be different now.

- If you're expecting an
answer right now, you're wrong.

- Sweetie Puss, I love you, okay.

I'll wait forever; just please,

think about it, okay?

- I would love to pull his ball sack

around his silly neck and strangle him,

but that's just me.

- That's actually an interesting image.

- But what about this Victor guy?

He sounds intriguing,
somebody I'd root for.

- Actually, he's a real darling.

So do you feel something for him?

Love?

- That's the thing.

I'm so confused; my
feelings are all mixed up.

- Darling,

you are a wonderful,

beautiful,

very strong woman.

It's time you fought back all those people

who messed with you and
take control of your life,

and enjoy life with somebody
who really appreciates you

for exactly who you are.

Call him;
what are you waiting for?

- I don't know.

Damn, why doesn't he just call me?

- Well, because Theo's
probably as timid as you are.

- God, isn't that a match?

- Well, we invited him
to the opening, right,

and if he shows up, that
will be the indication

if he's interested or not.

Holy fuck!

- Have you seen the devil?

- Yes.

- Wait, really?

- Oh come on, Susan.

- No, I better not say anything.`

- Stop being so over-dramatic
and fuck, just say it.

- Okay, well I saw Jacob.

- Well, I guess that's unavoidable.

Jersey City's not a big place.

- And he wasn't alone.

- No, don't say it.

Yes.

- No.

- Yes, he was with that cunt, Helen.

- What?

Motherfucker, really?

- Embracing and kissing and all that shit.

- You know what, that's it!

I'm done, okay.

I'm gonna go pay a visit
to someone special.

- I would not wanna be that somebody.

- Do you think she's
going to Helen or Jacob?

- No idea; I wouldn't
want to be either of them.

- You can't come in; he's got a patient.

- We need to talk now!

- God damn it Athena, are
you out of your fucking mind?

Mr Bleaker, didn't I tell
you to take a laxative.

God damn it!

Are you completely nuts?

What the fuck are you doing?

- You'd better shut the fuck
up after what you did to me.

You're going to do something for me now.

You're going to do the same
thing to Jacob you did to me.

- What?

- You are going to give
Jacob a placebo pill.

- He won't fall for it, not after,

well, you know why.

He's not that stupid.

- Oh, he will; you will convince him.

You will call him for yearly checkup exam

and then you're gonna tell
him he has brain tumor.

- You're nuts.

No fucking way; I'm not gonna do it.

- Oh, I'm going to go to press.

I'm going to tell your wife.

After I'm done with you,
I will not be surprised

if they won't let you practice on some

fucked up Guinea pigs.

Oh, and this is not all, my dear Max.

After you tell him he ha brain cancer,

you are going to tell him that you have

an experimental pill for him.

- How am I gonna convince
him that he's got cancer?

- Oh, you fucking convinced me, right?

He's your friend; he'll trust you.

Just take some x rays from
a sick person or something,

and after that, you are going to tell him

about serious side effects.

I don't know
guys, I feel really stupid.

All this makeup, this dress, these heels.

It's not me.

I don't even know if Theo's gonna show up.

Oh stop it, babe.

- Theo hi, thank you for coming.

- Namaste, thank you so much
for the invitation really.

Wow, you are a talented photographer.

I love what I'm seeing.

- Oh, you're so cute.

Thank you, but I don't know if it's true.

- Of course it's true.

Really, you are truly blessed.

I love what I'm seeing, and
Athena, I love your collages.

I really do.

- Thanks Theo, you're too kind.

Did you come with Victor?

- I haven't seen him
all week, but I am sure

he's going to show.

- Well, enjoy the show
and other beautiful views.

- Wow, I am so impressed by your work.

The colors, the composition, incredible.

- Hey guys, I'm so glad you can make it.

Well, thanks for the invite.

- I'm not sure if you
were serious in your text.

This is not a joke, right?

- As I wrote, we're okay.

Besides, I think you
guys are a better couple

than we ever were.

- Okay, I guess so.

- I have something for you.

I made this for you.

What is it?

- Your favorite cucumber salad.

Your favorite I made just for you.

- You're joking.

What is this?

The help?

You didn't shit in it, right?

- Don't be silly.

Who wouldn't taste shit in the pie?

That seems so ridiculous anyway.

- Yeah, maybe later.

- I made it just for
you as a sign of peace.

- Okay, I guess so.

Wow, its really good.

Thanks, Athena.

- You're very welcome.

Enjoy the show; will you excuse me?

- Hey Fish, I'm so glad you made it.

- Babe, I wouldn't miss
this show for anything.

How you guys doing?

- Very good.

I didn't sell anything, but Susan did.

- That's awesome, I'm
so glad for you guys,

and you'll sell a collage soon.

I can't wait to see your artwork.

Damn, you look so damn breathtaking.

I just came to tell you something.

- I love you.

- I know; I feel the same way.

I mean, I love you too.

- I'm sorry, I interrupted you.

- I just wanted to tell you
that I'll be leaving soon.

- Oh.

- You know, the trip.

- When?

- In about a month, and
I got you a ticket too.

From New York to Paris.

See, I thought that since
you've never been to Europe,

we can start our trip in Paris and then,

we can spend some time in Europe
and visit the major cities

and then go to Moscow.

And then from there, we can
take the Trans-Siberian Express.

I mean, look, to be honest,
I'm just not sure that I

wanna live without you.

Ever since we had our night together,

I can't stop thinking about you.

- Can you wait here for a second?

- Sure.

- Actually, there's something
else you can do for me.

- Okay, what?

- You're gonna watch Mom while I'm gone.

- No Athena, you know I have--

- You owe me one.

- Okay, yeah.

- Are you nervous?

- No, not really.

Excited.

You know, it's been a
long time since I left JC.

I think I'm gonna miss it.

- Now I don't know about that.

- Nice day today isn't it, sir.

Do you think you can spare a--

- Fuck you!

- What's so funny?

- Nothing.

I just had a thought about Jacob.

- Okay.

- Oh, it's not like that.

I organized a little payback.

- I see.

You did mention something about revenge.

You are a little devil
after all, aren't you?

- No.

Maybe a little.

- You okay?

- Yeah fuck me, Stud!