The Witches (2020) - full transcript

All right, then.

Where were we?

Oh, yeah, that's right.
Now I remember.

"A note about witches."

See, here's the thing
about them.

They're real!

Witches are as real as a rock
in your shoe.

That's the first thing
you need to know.

The second thing
you need to know,

they're here!

And they live amongst us...



...side by side, with humans.

In every big city,
in every small town.

For all you know,

a witch might be living right
next door to you right now.

They everywhere!

A witch might be a nurse,

or your teacher,

and you can bet
your sweet patootie

that friendly, little old lady
on the bus

offering you a delicious piece
of salt water taffy

is a witch.

And here's
the most important thing.

The most important thing.

Witches hate children!



A witch spends all her time

thinking up ways
to destroy children.

That's all she thinks about.

"How will I squish
this horrible child?"

A witch gets the same pleasure
from squishing a child

as you get from eating
a bowl of ice cream

covered in butterscotch syrup,

with whipped cream,

chopped nuts,

and a cherry on top.

My story begins
during the last month of 1968.

Believe it or not,
I was once a young boy.

A boy with a mother
and a father.

We lived in Chicago.

And it snows a lot
at Christmastime.

Tricky thing with snow is,
it's slippery.

Take the front! This way!

Mom?

I was wearing my seat belt.

Dad?

Mom!

Mama and Daddy weren't.

Mama! Dad!

Mommy! Dad!

Let's get you out of here.

It was during
my eighth Christmas

that I lost
my mother and father.

My dear child...

Grandma.

Grandma's here.

Aw,
you gonna be all right.

Here, let me look at you.

Mmm.

I'mma get you out of here.

I packed your things,
I'm gonna take you home.

Home? To my house?

No, darling.

Home to my house.

Need any help

bringing these bags
inside, sister?

Oh, no,
thank you, Reginald.

You've done enough already.

Running into you
at the bus station

was a godsend.

I'm much obliged.

My pleasure.

I'll see you in church
come Sunday?

Oh, you know you will.

Pleasure to make
your acquaintance, young man.

Welcome to Demopolis.

- Thank you, Reggie.
- Sister.

Wait.

Take them shoes off before
you walk on my good rug.

Grandma was my mama's mama.

A tough lady with a big heart.

The kind that wouldn't hesitate

to give a spanking
if you deserve it

or a big ol' hug
if you needed it.

I reckon...

you'll be comfy here.

In your mama's old room.

We'll get you situated tomorrow.

I'm gonna make
some hot chocolate.

Want some?

I'm gonna make some anyway,

in case you change your mind.

High tomorrow, 73.

Young man,
what is wrong with you?

Sitting in here
all by your lonesome.

It's nice out.

You want something to eat?

I just fried some wings.

Nobody turns down my wings.
I'm gonna make you a plate.

♪ Now if you
Feel that you can't go on ♪

♪ Because all of your hope
Is gone ♪

♪ And your life is filled
With much confusion ♪

♪ Until happiness
Is just an illusion ♪

♪ And your world around
Is tumblin' down ♪

♪ Darlin' ♪

♪ Reach out ♪

♪ Come on, girl ♪

- ♪ Reach on out for me ♪
- ♪ Reach out ♪

- Come on, baby. Come on.
- ♪ Reach out for me ♪

♪ Ha! I'll be there ♪

♪ With a love
That will shelter you ♪

Mmm!

What you waiting for?

Don't feel like eating.

And I don't feel like wasting
all this good food.

What, you think I'm supposed
to feel sorry for you?

Well, I don't.

Do I feel bad?

Yeah.

But not sorry.

Sometimes, whatever the good
Lord needs to teach us

comes in ways we don't see.

But it doesn't mean

we're not supposed
to learn something.

Look here.

This was my baby.

I'd do anything
for her to be here right now.

But the Man Above
had another plan for her.

And whether it seems fair
to me or not,

it doesn't matter.

Sometimes life isn't fair.

It's a hard lesson
for folks to learn

and most people don't have to
learn it this young.

But you do.

You hear me?

Come on now, baby,
you got to eat something.

You like cake?

Well, corn bread
is basically cake.

Mmm-hmm.

Go on. Try it.

What's his name?

It's a she.

Her name is something
you can ponder.

Have you come up with a name
for your mouse yet?

Uh-huh.

Well, tell me.

Don't be keeping me in suspense.

Aisy.

Lazy?

Well, that mouse
is full of nothing but energy.

She runs all the time
in that wheel.

Not "lazy."

Daisy.

"Daisy." Oh.

I like it.

That's a perfect name for her.

Close your eyes, honey.

♪ It's your thing
Do what you wanna do ♪

♪ I can't tell you
Who to sock it to ♪

♪ It's your thing ♪

♪ Do what you wanna do ♪

♪ I can't tell you
Who to sock it to ♪

And somehow, she did it.

Little by little,

with a tug here
and a pull there,

she brought me
out of my sadness.

♪ Oh, you need love now ♪

♪ Just as bad as I do ♪

But even though
my own darkness

was being lifted,

there was another dark shadow
looming nearby.

Very nearby.

I didn't know it,

but I was about to meet
my first witch.

Curses.

♪ All right ♪

♪ Lord have mercy! ♪

Raymond.

Raymond.

You call these fresh?

But we just got them in.

When? Last year?

Look at how yellow they are.

And those brown spots
around the edges.

I'm not gonna waste
good bacon drippings

on these shriveled-up weeds.

Can you get me some fresh greens

if you don't mind?

Yes, ma'am.

I'll see what we have
in the back.

You do that.

Grandma, can I get these nails
to make Daisy a house?

Hmm.

Well, these aren't galvanized.

You have to use galvanized nails

so they won't rust.

But galvanized costs
.35 cents more.

Safety first.

Yes, ma'am.

You cut yourself
on a rusty nail,

you can get lockjaw.

Yes, ma'am.

And then I'd have to
flush out your system

with liver oil, garlic juice,
Tabasco sauce.

You wouldn't want to go
through that now, would you?

No, ma'am.

Good.
Remember, safety first.

Grandma knew how
to fix all kinds of ailments.

She learned from her grandma
how to use herbs and potions

and strange incantations

to make sick people good as new.

Here in Alabama,
where she grew up,

Grandma was known as a healer.

Galvanized.

Boy.

Boy.

Do you like sweets?

She is tame.

Very sweet.

Give her a kiss.

Young man.

You want those nails,
you better come on...

Yes, Raymond,
that's more like it.

Grandma,
I need to tell you something!

Not now, son.

But, Grandma...

I thought
you wanted those nails.

Forget it. Let's just go.

Yeah.

Let's just go.

Hey.

Son,

what were you trying to tell me

in the grocery store
this morning?

You were shaking like a leaf.

Don't worry about that, Grandma.

I just want you to feel better.

I feel fine.

You just tell me
what you were trying to say.

Looked like you were about
to have a conniption fit.

I don't know what I saw.

It was a scary lady.

She called to me.

But when she did,
when she talked,

her mouth...

Was she wearing gloves?

Long ones, up to her elbows?

Was she wearing a hat?

It looked like she had a towel
on her head or something.

And when she talked,

did her voice
sound ugly and scratchy

like an outhouse door
swinging on a rusty hinge?

Oh.

I feared this was happening.

That lady you saw in
the grocery store was no lady.

What you saw

was a witch.

A witch?

That's right.

A no-good, rotten, low-down,
sneaky, sneaky witch.

Okay. Okay.

Is this you
and your church friends

trying to play a joke on me?

'Cause if it is,
it's not very funny.

Listen, child.

Witches ain't nothing
to joke about.

I've known children

who no longer exist
as children on this earth.

They were turned,

transformed,

taken by witches.

I can tell you about Alice Blue.

Well, Alice Blue and I
were best friends.

We lived across the street
from each other.

We were like sisters.
Inseparable.

We did everything together,
even our chores.

But Alice was a lollygagger.

Alice, quit lollygagging, girl.

It's almost suppertime.

Alice did something
no child should ever do.

She took candy from a stranger.

I got so scared,

I tore out of there
like greased lightning,

and hightailed it straight home.

I never should have
left Alice alone.

I knew I shouldn't have.

But I was so scared.

Later that night,

when I saw Alice alive,

I was as happy as a mouse
in a bucket of cheese.

But the very next morning,

all that happiness went away

because it happened.

She started turning.

Alice was chicken-afied.
Chicken-alified.

Lordy!

Look at the size
of that chicken.

Y'all seen
where Alice run off to?

She's right...

there.

What you
talking about, child?

Where'd she go?

I tried to explain
what I saw,

but everybody was looking
at me like I was crazy.

Finally,
I just shut up about it.

Although, I made it a point

to visit Alice
in her coop every day.

Hi, Alice.

Alice even laid eggs.

Big green ones.

Biggest green eggs I ever seen.

People said they were delicious.

What about the witch?

What about her?

Did she go away?

Oh, my, no.

Once a witch come
into your life, it never...

Never...

Oh, my, Lord in Heaven.

What am I thinking?

I just told you
we saw a witch today.

A witch in the grocery store.

And what am I doing?
Sitting here

like I'm blind in one eye
and can't see out the other,

wasting precious time
lollygagging.

Always wondered

what Grandma kept
in that locked closet.

Turns out it was full of
medicinal herbs and elixirs,

and old books
about ancient healing.

Now, my mom always said

Grandma was sort of
a country-type healer.

But now I was starting to think

she might be a voodoo priestess.

Child, we need to leave.

- Leave?
- That's right, leave.

It's not safe for us here.

But where we gonna go?

I'll call my cousin, Eston.

Have him make
a reservation for us

at the Grand Orleans
Imperial Island Hotel.

He was the executive chef
there for over 30 years.

He's got pull there.

He's a star.

His cooking
put that hotel on the map.

It's the swankiest resort
in all of Alabama.

You'll be telling your grandkids

about your stay in this hotel.

How do you know
we'll be safe there?

Because, child,

ain't nothing
but rich white folks

at the Grand Orleans
Imperial Island Hotel.

And witches
only prey on the poor,

the overlooked,

the kids they think

nobody's gonna make a fuss
about if they go missing.

Go pack!

Grandma, are there
witches in every city?

Every city,
every state, every country.

And there's
a secret society of witches

in every country called a coven.

That's just like a Rotary Club
but for witches.

They all get together
in one place

and gossip about
who they put spells on,

or trade potion secrets,
and whatnot.

But most important,

they receive orders
from the Grand High Witch.

The Grand High Witch?

The Grand High Witch, yeah.

She's the ruler of them all.

All-powerful, pure evil,

and without a stitch of mercy.

Yeah. Legend has it,
she was hatched

on the frozen tundra of Norway.

Now, take a look at that.

What, you just gonna stand there

and stare at me all day?

Can I help you?

You can unload this car while
I check in to this here hotel.

Yes, ma'am.

Here's the key.

Oh, and...

No.

You keep your money, ma'am.

And enjoy yourself.

I think I will.

Grandma was right
about this hotel.

It sure was fancy.

She brought us
to the Gulf of Mexico

to get away from that witch.

But she had no idea what
we were about to step into.

Be careful with the mouse.

- No.
- For God's sake,

I think you're being
extremely unreasonable.

No, Deidre.
For the last time,

I will not have that woman
in my house.

Oh,
she's very good company.

Absolutely not, Deidre.

Oh, for God's sake,

Bruno, your face.

Obviously can't
take you anywhere.

Here you are, ma'am.

Come on, we got our key.

We are in room 766.

Sounds like a good room.

You okay, Grandma?

That's the first time
you coughed

since we left the house.

Can I help you, madam?

Oh! You must be
Eston's cousins.

Yes, he insisted
that you stay in room 766.

That's the Magnolia.

This is one of
our most lovely junior suites.

And aren't you
a lucky fella? Hmm?

It's not every day

that a young gentleman
such as yourself is fortunate

to come and stay in such
a fine hotel as this now,

is it?

Come on, Gatsby.

Let's go.

Let's go find our room.

Would you like me to show you?

- It's on the fourth floor.
- Mmm.

Grandma,
if we're on the fourth floor,

why is it number 7-6-6?

Because the man who built
this hotel was a numerologist.

He believed
numbers have meaning.

I know a little something
about numbers.

Seven and six together
means a test is coming.

Two sixes mean abundance.

So, it look like
a big test might be coming.

Well, hello there.

The Grand Orleans
Imperial Island Hotel

welcomes you and your lovely
group of benefactresses.

Uh, I would just like to say
that we applaud

your innumerable,
uh, philanthropic...

acts and, um...

And, um...

I'm sorry, madam,

but the hotel has
a very strict no-pet policy.

You seem like the sort of man

who loves a precious.

Don't you, Mister...

Stringer. R. J. Stringer III.
Hotel Manager.

Thank you
for making an exception,

- Mr. R. J. The Hotel Manager.
- Stringer.

Yes, but I haven't yet...
But I didn't agree...

So, tell me something, Mister...

- Stringy?
- Stringer.

Hotel man.

- Manager.
- The third.

- Yeah.
- I know you love kitties.

But what do you think of...

mice?

Mice?

Yeah. Mice.

What would you do
if there were mice

running all around
in this hotel?

Well, I can assure you, madam,

there would never be any mice...

But if there were?
Hypothetically?

Mmm. Oh, hypothetically.

Yes, I suppose,
well, I would, uh...

I would call the exterminator.

Exactly!

You see, girls?

He would call the exterminator!

Just like any normal human

with his head screwed on right,

he would exterminate
those brats.

Uh... Rats.

We would exterminate the rats.

Evil.

There's no other way
to describe them.

Pure, unvarnished evil.

That's what witches are.

Now, you see
this here cough of mine?

It was likely brought on
by a witch.

Probably that one you saw
in the grocery store.

Really? A witch
can make you cough?

Oh, you bet
your sweet patootie they can.

Grandma, how can you tell
a real witch from

Well, first of all, witches
aren't really women at all.

They're demons in human shape.

That's why if you look closely
at a witch,

you'll notice the corners
of her mouth is elongated,

stretching almost
up to her ears,

and that's usually hidden
with pancake makeup.

And a real witch always
wears gloves. Always.

Because a real witch
doesn't have hands.

She's got claws.

Claws?

And they don't have toes. Ooh.

Their ugly feet look like

their toes got chopped off
with an axe.

And all witches are bald.

As bald as a boiled egg.

So, they wear wigs.

And it gives them nasty sores.

"Wig rash," the witches call it.

Mmm! And it makes them crazy.

So, gloves,

wigs.

Is that everything?

Nose-holes.

- Nose-holes?
- Yeah. Nostrils.

Nose-holes.

Witches have larger nose-holes
than normal people.

When they need
to sniff out a child,

those nose-holes can grow out

as big as eight inches
in diameter.

But, mind you, children
smell horrible to witches.

Even if the kid
just had a bath?

That makes it worse.

A freshly clean kid smells
like dog poop to a witch.

- Dog poop?
- That's right.

And the cleaner the kid,

the poopier he smells
to a witch.

Maybe I should
stop taking baths.

Child, don't test me.

Can a witch come in here
and get us while we sleep?

No.

Not at all.

Witches never do
silly things like

climbing drainpipes or
breaking into people's houses.

Besides, they have no idea
where we are.

Okay, but I'm still
a little scared.

Over here, come on, little man.

There we go.

Get some sleep.

Hmm?

Really?

Mmm.

The next morning,

the sun was shining
and the air was crisp

I kept quiet as a mouse
so Grandma could sleep in,

and I took it upon myself

to order her
some room service breakfast.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Here's your breakfast, Grandma.

Scrambled eggs,
chicken fried steak,

hominy grits, pecan sticky buns,

rhubarb strawberry jam,

and a pitcher
of sweet iced tea with mint.

Oh, that sure smells special.

Oh, mercy, I slept in late.

Phew.

Well, thank you for ordering
me breakfast, darling.

I gave the room service guy
a half a dollar tip.

Was that okay?

That's mighty
gentlemanly of you.

Grandma, are you okay?

I'm fine.
Just a little tickle.

Grab Grandma
that glass of tea.

And listen, Grandma's gonna
take it easy today.

But I want you to get outside
and run around.

Go down to the water.
Have fun.

I was thinking I would do
some training with Daisy.

Oh! Well, take her with.

Just don't let her get
too close to the water.

I wouldn't want
some big old sea snake

to grab ahold of her.

Sea snake?

I'm just joshing.
There ain't no sea snakes.

You go on now. Have fun.

And don't worry about me.
I'm fine.

Even though I knew

Grandma was kidding
about the sea snakes,

I didn't wanna take any chances,

so we stayed inside.

And wouldn't you know,

we came upon the big ballroom
where it turns out

the International Society

for the Prevention of Cruelty
to Children folks

were gonna have
their conference.

Hey!

You there!

And what are you doing?

Breaking and entering?

Looking for a quiet spot.

For what?

Training.

Training what?

Cool. Super.
What's his name?

It's a she.
And her name is Daisy.

Can I hold her?

She's not too comfortable
around strangers.

Can she do any tricks
or anything?

We were just about
to do some training.

Wanna watch?

What time is it?

A nice lady told me
to meet her here at 12:25.

She said she would give me
six bars of Swiss chocolate.

What's your name?
I'm...

Bruno Jenkins!

I've been looking for you
everywhere, young man.

Your father is furious.

Hello, Mother.

This is my new friend.

Nice to meet you.

Look at your hands,
they're filthy!

Look at your shirt!
It's a complete mess!

- Come with me.
- Ow!

What have you been doing?

Running around
in a sausage factory?

The room
was completely empty.

A perfect place for me
and Daisy to do our training.

And I figured,

if all the Prevention
of Cruelty to Children people

showed up,

they would probably look kindly

on a young mouse trainer

who was just
going about his business.

Jeez, that scared
the crap out of me.

So, here we are.

Here is the Le Grand
Imperial Ballroom

or Le Salon Grande,
as we call it.

Well, actually
we call it the Mural Room

because of all these
beautiful murals...

I was told there is only
one door in and out, yeah?

Yeah. Yes.

There's, uh, only that door
there, in and out,

and which, of course,

does not make
the fire marshal very happy.

So, don't you go
starting any fires.

This room will do.

Right, so...

Yeah, so, if there's any...
Is there anything else

- that you ladies...
- No.

- No?
- Bye-bye.

Oh, all right.

Saoirse,
secure the room!

Okay, you so-called ladies.

Prepare for removal.

Wake up.

Okay, you trussed-up succubines,

you may remove your gloves.

You may remove your shoes.

And...

you may remove your wigs!

They're all witches.

My blood ran cold

as I started to get real scared.

Here I was,

trapped in a room with a bunch
of bald-headed witches!

And the mean one,
the bald-head honcho

who was standing right above me,

the one who was
giving all the orders,

as soon as I got
a good look at her,

I knew instantly
who she had to be.

She's the Grand High Witch.

Witches.

Witches.

You are a heap

of good-for-nothing worms!

This morning,

I'm having my breakfast

and I'm looking out
the window, at the beach,

and what am I seeing? Hmm?

What am I seeing?

I'm seeing dozens...

I'm seeing hundreds...

I'm seeing hundreds
of repulsive little brats

playing in the sand,

and it's putting me
right off my food!

So...

Here are my orders.

I want every child
in the world...

rubbed out!

Squashed, squirted,
and frittered!

Your Excellency,
do you have a plan?

How can we possibly
wipe out every child?

That was actually
a good question.

Insubordinate
but a good question.

Of course I have a plan.

I want each of you to return
to your pathetic little town.

And open...

a candy store.

And in this store you will sell

only the highest quality,
tastiest candy.

Now, you're probably wondering,

"Where do I get the money
to buy a candy shop?"

Well, I have
thought of that too.

In my room, room number 666,

I have a steamer trunk

filled with brand-new,
crisp $100 bills!

Room 666.

Remember that room number 666

and your shops will sell

only the highest quality,
tastiest candy.

And...

We use Formula Number 86

Delayed Action Mouse Maker!

Ooh!

One drop of Mouse Maker
in a piece of candy

will transform
a dirty little child

into a mouse in one hour!

Ah!

Two drops

will transform the disgusting
little brat in 30 minutes.

And three drops
is instantaneous.

An instant mouse!

Oh.

Oh, no, no, no.

Shut up.

So,

less than an hour ago,

I found a repulsive smelly
little boy in the lobby

and I gave him
an outrageously expensive

bar of Swiss chocolate.

A chocolate bar
that was laced with one drop

- of my Number 86...
- Oh, no.

...Delayed
Action Mouse Maker potion!

Bruno.

And I told
the greedy little brat

to meet me here at 12:25.

So, in less than 10 minutes,

all you pathetic witches will
see what a true genius I am!

Genius! Genius! Genius!

Quiet!

Where's my chocolate?

It's the greedy little cretin.

- Quick! Put on your wigs!
- Hey, are you in there?

Welcome, you...

fine, handsome man.

We've been waiting.

Darling boy.

I have your chocolate for you.

You promised me
six bars of chocolate.

I only see one in your hand.

Hmm... You see, ladies,

not only is he fat and stupid
but greedy too.

Mmm.

That's right, little man.

Here is your
delicious chocolate.

Come and get it.
Come and get it.

Get ready, girls.

Ten seconds.

Give me my chocolate.
Give it to me.

It's right here, my darling.

Daisy, what do we do?

Give me.
Give me.

Five seconds.

Give me my chocolate.
Give it to me.

Three...

- Give me it. Give me. Give me!
- Two...

One...

Ignition!

That smelly brat,

that horrid louse

has been transformed...

She's done it.
She's a genius.

...into a lovely little mouse!

What's the big idea?

Where's my chocolate?

Squish him!

Whoa!

Squish him! Kill him!

He's right there.

They turned Bruno
into a mouse

and now they're trying
to squish him.

I'll fetch him.

Did you just talk?

It's a swarm!

They're everywhere!

Get him.
Where is he? Where is he?

Gosh! You're a giant.
Why are you so big?

I'm not big.
You're little. I'm normal.

How can I be little?

Because you're a mouse.

A witch put a spell on you.

Witch? What witch?

Ah-ha! I knew it!

Dog dropping!

- Help!
- Grab him.

- Help! Help me!
- Hold him down.

- Flip him. Gag position.
- Help! Help!

Open his trap.

Open it.

Okay.

That's how you wanna play,

we'll play the Shakespeare way.

One drop...

Two...

Blast off.

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Aren't you a cute little mouse?

Who has the mallet?

- Here! Here!
- Get the mallet.

Where's the mallet?

I'm not afraid of nothing.

I have him.
Where's the mallet?

Come on. Give it to me.
Give it to me.

Run, Bruno, run!

So, you're a mouse too?

Now I've got you.

Four legs, Bruno.

Four legs.

Rats! A dead end!

Run, Bruno, run!

No!

Ow, my back.

What happened to us?

Why are we mouses?

- "Mice."
- Whatever.

There's a convention of
witches here in the hotel,

and they have an evil potion.

They put it in your chocolate.

My chocolate? Crikey!

They always spike the chocolate.

It's standard
evil witch procedure.

Wait. You were a kid too?

A girl.

Do I look like
a baby goat to you?

Nope, a mouse.

What are we going to do?

I don't want to be a mouse.

I like being
a portly little kid.

"Child."

Whatever.

All right,
we have to find my grandma.

She knows
everything about witches.

She'll know what to do.
Come on.

Two crab salads.
What are you doing?

Wow, look at
all that lovely food.

Okay, here's what we do.

You see that vent?

I bet that'll get us
to the lobby. Let's go.

Pick that up.
That's white truffle.

You have any idea
how much white truffle costs?

Wipe it off
and put it in the sauce.

What is this?
You call that puffed?

Let's get some more hands
in here.

So, now what?

Look, all we need to do is
make our way to the elevator,

then up to the fourth floor.

Come on.

Hey, a little help.

Crikey.

- Hurry up.
- This way.

I just realized
something, y'all.

How exactly do we
reach the button

- Floor?
- Four, please.

Come on.

There's my room, 766.

This way.

She's never
going to hear us.

A doorbell.

Come on.

Crikey!

All right.
We make a human ladder.

You mean a mouse ladder?

Right, a mouse ladder.

Ow! Ow.

I got... I got...

I got it!

Help me!

Ahhh, great balls of fire,
don't let me fall!

- Phew.
- Follow me, boys.

Mice!

Mice! Mice!

They everywhere!

Grandma, it's me.

Grandma, it's me, your grandson.

My grandson...

Is that you, boy?

Yes, Grandma, it's me.

Oh... Oh.

Is it really you?

It's really me.

- What happened?
- It was the Grand High Witch.

The Grand High Witch?

Oh, Lord,
not the Grand High Witch.

Yes. She mouse-afied me.

And the whole hotel
is full of witches.

They're having a witch
convention or something.

You been through so much,
you don't need this.

Grandma's so, so sorry.

Grandma,
please get off the floor

and put me on the coffee table.

- How do I do that?
- Pick me up.

Pick you up?

Yeah, just like I pick up Daisy.

Right.

I can't believe
this happened to you.

Believe me,
things could be a lot worse.

They could?

Oh, Grandma, by the way,

this is my friend,
Bruno Jenkins.

He's now a mouse too,

but he used to be
a chubby, little English kid.

You could've just stopped at,
"This is my friend, Bruno."

I'm so sorry, Bruno.

Those nasty, evil witches
got you too, huh?

Yes. They got me good
and proper.

It's been an awful day.

- Anybody else hungry?
- Ahem!

Oh, and Daisy used to be
a kid... A girl too.

Why didn't you
say something before, darling?

Because it can be very dangerous

for a mouse to talk.

Most people don't understand
and they get scared.

I almost said something
the other night

when you told the story

about Alice Blue
getting turned into a chicken,

but I thought better of it.

So, some wicked, evil witch
mouse-afied you.

Yes, ma'am, four months ago.

On the very same afternoon
I ran away from the orphanage.

Well, what happened was,
a kind lady...

Well, I thought she was kind.

Anyway, she offered me
a chocolate bar,

and before I knew it, poof!

I was transformed.

Then, faster than a hot knife
cuts through butter,

a panhandler scoops me up
and sells me to a pet store

so he could buy food.

Yum!

I'm so sorry, Daisy.

Mary. Uh, my real name
is Mary.

Mary. That's a pretty name.

Excuse me.

All this talk about food
is making me really hungry.

Can I have one of those grapes?

So, it was
the Grand High Witch,

and she's in this very hotel?

We got to do something to turn
you back. Make this right.

The Grand High Witch
has a room full of potion.

And she's gonna use it

to turn every kid in the world
into a mouse.

We have to help them.

- Who is it?
- Hotel maintenance.

Quick, hide.

Here. Hop in my knitting tote.

Keep your heads down.

Yes.

I'm sorry to bother you, ma'am,

but we got a report of
a possible rodent infestation.

Rodent infestation?
In a hotel this expensive?

That's crazier than
a hog on slaughter day.

Yes, ma'am.
It's probably nothing.

The maid who said
she saw the rodents

has a tendency to be
a bit high-strung.

- Mmm.
- But, to be on the safe side,

I thought
I'd lay these here traps,

- if you don't mind.
- Okay.

- We put them in all the rooms.
- Mmm-hmm.

Just to be safe.

So, uh, what are they? Mice?

Oh. No, ma'am.

Maid said she saw
a swarm of huge, ugly rats.

At least a dozen of them.

Goodness, a dozen?

Well, it's like I said,

she has a tendency to be
a bit high-strung.

Fresh Wisconsin cheddar.

Drives them rodents plumb crazy.

They can't resist it.

Mmm...

Anyway, you hear any
of these traps start snapping,

give me a call.

I sure will.

That's right.

Don't you know anything?
Grapes can hurt a mouse.

All right, you three.

You stay away from
those traps, you hear?

If we could just get our hands
on some of that potion,

I might be able
to reverse-engineer it.

Make it a potion
that turns mice into children.

I always travel with
my anti-hex herbs and salts.

But whoever knows where
that wicked, evil witch is.

We do. She's in room 666.

We heard her tell
all those witches

to meet her in room 666
right after dinner.

And we're in room 766.

Room 666 is right below us.

Good Lord!

That evil sorceress is living
right beneath us?

Yes. And here's what we do.

We wait for the Grand High
Witch to leave her room,

then we use
Grandma's knitting wool

as a rope to lower me down

to the Grand High Witch's
balcony.

I grab a bottle of potion,

Grandma hoists me back up,
she reverses the spell,

and ta-da!
We're kids again.

Young man, you think
all that up just now?

Popped right into my head.

Vile, filthy brats.

You make me puke!

Hades,

it's getting so bad,

I can't even enjoy
a glass of wormwood.

She's the Grand High Witch,
all right.

Grandma, that's the potion.

She's keeping it on ice.

Yeah, it's exactly what we need.

Hades, come.

We are late for tea.

Teatime. Perfect.

Now look, all we need
is one bottle of potion.

So, grab one as fast
as you can and hurry on back.

No telling when that monster
is fixing to return.

I know you're
likely scared, baby.

I'm not scared, Grandma.

I don't know why,

but ever since I was turned
into a small mouse,

little things
don't scare me anymore.

Okay. Hold on tight.

I can't believe

they won't let my precious
into the dining room.

This fleabag, roach-trap hotel

discriminates
against everything.

Money.
Money, money, money.

Oh, Hades,

why, in this disgusting
human world,

do you need money
for everything?

Disgusting, filthy lucre.

He's ready.

Well, well, well, well.

Why is this wool here, I wonder?

Oh. Hello.

I just dropped my knitting
over the balcony.

But it's all right.

Thank goodness I still have
a hold of it on this end.

Well, I'm just gonna
go ahead on and...

And pull it on up.

I'll be out of your way.

Let go.

I know you.

Me?

I don't think so.

I have seen you before.

I remember your face.

You mighta seen me
in the lobby, maybe.

No, no, no, no, no.

Not in the lobby.

I remember you from...

What? Who is it?

It's Mr. Stringer III,

Hotel Manager.

Curses!

You want me to remove

the children from the beach?

I want them removed.

Well, I'll...
I'll see what I can do.

Madam, I procured this,
uh, for you today.

I thought you might like it.

It's a kitty carrier.

And I thought

you could put your feline
friend in there and you can

transport him
all over the hotel,

including the dining room.

Thought you might like that.

Well,

let me tell you something,
Mister Cat-Cage-Procurer.

I will never, ever

allow my precious puss to be...

Well, look at that.
He likes it in there.

Oh, madam, I almost forgot.

Regarding your ladies' dinner
this evening,

we have neglected
to select a soup.

Now, there are two choices.

One is our
Cajun spice crab Creole,

and the other one is our
plantation kitchen split pea.

Which one is cheaper?

Well, madam,
I'm sure you will appreciate

that the crab is fresh
and it is...

Which one?

Plantation kitchen split pea.
That's the one.

Then we will have
the split pea soup.

Yes, madam.

And...

no garlic in the soup.

No what?

Garlic.

No garlic?

Did I stutter?

No garlic.

My women,

all suffer from a selective
food avoidance disorder.

Picky eaters.

Yes, madam.
As you wish.

I will inform the chef.

You do that.

I'll let myself out.

You do that.

Well, my precious,

since you enjoy being
in that cage so much,

you can stay in it!

Traitor!

Mouse Maker potion.

A drop of hyssop...

A smidgen of mugwort...

And now,

a dash of healing water,
straight from Lourdes.

This is the most powerful
healing water there is.

Okay.

Now let's all join hands
and bow our heads.

Well, I'll be...

Not much more to say
than that.

We had to try something, kids.

This witch's power

is far greater
than my little home remedies.

Evil power.

And strong.

Much stronger than me.

Please don't cry, Grandma.

It'll be okay.

I'm sorry, children.

It's not your fault, Grandma.

Sometimes things just happen.

Yeah, they do.

I actually don't mind
being a mouse.

I get to hang out
with my new friends all day,

don't have to go
to school anymore,

and I don't have to learn
how to drive,

which means I'll never
get into an accident.

Oh, child.
Come here.

Grandma, will you still
take care of me?

Even if I stay a mouse?

Of course
I will, darling.

Doesn't matter who you are

or what you look like,

so long as somebody loves you.

And I always will.

What about my friends?

Can they stay too?

Well, of course.

If they want to,

but don't forget,
they all have loved ones

I'm not so sure about that.

Don't be a fool.
I'm sure they love you.

My mother thinks I'm clumsy,

and my father complains
that I'm always hungry.

Well, maybe this will
help them love you

for who you are,
not for who you ain't.

You're fortunate
to have parents, Bruno.

Some of us don't.

But we're gonna be okay.

We have Grandma.

And she'll always be our family.

And for that
we are very blessed.

But what I wanna know

is why are we standing
around here lollygagging?

How are we gonna stop
those horrible witches

from turning
more children into mice?

She's right.

We got to do something.

I know what we'll do.

I sneak into the kitchen with
the Number 86 Mouse Maker,

then I slip the potion
into the witches' pea soup

and turn them all into mice.

Are you sure about this,
little man?

This sounds like
it could be a very dangerous

and scary mission.

Trust me, Grandma,
I can handle it.

I'll meet you in the lobby bar.

Bruno and Daisy know which vent.

Be careful, darling.

I will, Grandma.

Hurry up there!

The pea soup is ready.

No garlic.

I got the soup,
no garlic, Chef,

coming right up.

Where are my prawns?

This is not a prawn,
this is a shrimp.

You don't know the difference
between a shrimp and a prawn?

Count the pincers.
Un, deux. One, two.

Let's start ladling out
that soup.

Come on, you people.

Yes, Chef.

What are you doing, huh?

I'm getting
the prawns ready.

Don't tell me
that's a prawn.

- I'm a crustacean expert.
- This is a prawn.

I've been
sauteing prawns for 30 years

and I only use butter.

- Only butter?
- Never oil.

I don't give a damn
about what nutritionists say.

They are
the ruination of cuisine.

Always butter, butter only.

Where are my prawns?

Who do I have to get
some prawns around here?

Let's start
ladling out that soup.

Yes, Chef.

Are you crying?

There's no crying in my kitchen.

Chef, this soup
needs some garlic.

Absolutely no garlic.
Stringer's orders.

Grease fire.

We got fire
blankets under those sinks.

Are those my prawns
that just exploded?

Forget the prawn, just throw
some shrimp in there.

You idiots don't know how...

Someone get me a sharp knife
so that I can kill myself.

Somebody call an exterminator.

Look, there's my mother
and father.

That's your mother and father?

As I live and breathe.

Bruno, I think it's time
to say hello to your parents.

Are you mad?
Right here in the bar?

There's no time
like the present.

Excuse me,
are you Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins?

Can we help you?

I'm afraid I have some,

well, strange news
about your son, Bruno.

What about Bruno?
Where is he?

Maybe we can go somewhere
a bit more private.

Private?
Why do we have to be private?

It's not an easy thing
for him to explain.

He'd be much more comfortable
we all went up to your room.

No, no, look here, madam,

I'm perfectly comfortable
exactly where I am.

So, either you tell me
where I can find Bruno

or you just leave us alone now.

Well...

got him right here.

That's a mouse! A mouse!

What in God's name
is wrong with you?

Get that filthy rodent
out of here!

No, no, no, no. This is Bruno.

Bruno, say something to them.

"Say something"?
Are you insane?

Get away from us
before I call the manager.

Quit all this hollering.
This is your son, Bruno.

Manager! Someone get me
the manager.

This woman has just scared
my wife half to death.

She's walking around
with rats in her handbag.

Bruno, why didn't
you say something?

My father hates it when I talk
with my mouth full.

Psst! Grandma.

Down here.

There you are.
Thank the Lord.

So, how'd it go?

Soup is on.

Look! The pea soup.

Here we are,
garlic free.

Excuse me, madam,
may I have a word with you?

Please, this way.

Just over here.

Um...

You wouldn't happen
to be carrying around a mouse

on your person now, would you?

- A mouse?
- Mmm-hmm.

Why on earth would I
be carrying around a mouse?

Does this have anything to do
with all the rat traps

being set up
all over this hotel?

Rat traps?

Is this your pathetic idea
of a smoke screen?

Accusing your guests
of carrying around mice

to hide the fact that this
hotel has a mouse infestation.

Shh. No... Shh. What?

I'll tell you this.

For what this hotel
is costing me,

I better not see a single mouse.

Not even a tiny, cute one.

Yes, madam. I'm so...

My mistake. I'm sorry.

Luther.

Would you please show
this lady to our finest table?

Certainly.
This way.

Apologies, madam,

- I, it's just...
- Mmm.

Our finest table, madam.

Oh, uh, thank you, Luther.
I'm sure

your finest table
in this lovely establishment

is this one right here
next to the kitchen.

I always prefer
a table near the exit

so I can get out fast.

- Of course.
- Mmm.

Check it out.

They love the soup.

Have you decided?

Uh, yes, I think
I'll have the jambalaya.

Excellent. And would you like
something to start?

Mmm...

Well, that pea soup

those fancy ladies are eating
looks good.

I'll have that.

I'm sorry.
That soup is reserved

strictly for that group
of lady guests only.

If I may,

that large party suffers
from a severe garlic allergy.

So, they have requested their
soup be prepared garlic free.

It is very bland.
Practically inedible.

I see.

That sounds disgusting.

May I suggest
the Cajun spice crab Creole?

It's one
of our signature dishes.

Uh, sounds...

Yes?

Uh, the... The shrimp Creole
will be fine.

You mean
the crab Creole?

Yes, yes, the crab Creole.

Very good.

Keep your heads down,
we got company.

Pigtails.

I'm sorry?

Pigtails.

You wore pigtails.

Do I know you?

Many years ago,
in a shabby little town.

A shabby little town

right here in Alabama.

You wore pigtails.

And you got away from me.

Remember?

But I got

that horrid little friend
of yours.

Remember...

Quick, mouse ladder.

It was you.

You were the filthy witch
who turned Alice.

Aw...

That's a nasty...

What are you doing?

Grandma, look.

Attaboy.

High five, baby!

Mmm-hmm! That's some
serious ratification.

Oh, my God!
It's on my leg!

Ooh. Lordy,
hell's a-poppin'.

Come here, you nasty critter...

Get it off!
Get it off!

Get it off!

Come on, kids.

It's time to skedaddle.

Somebody call the exterminator!

Good job.

Ooh, ooh...

Look at all this potion.

Kids, we got
to grab every bottle.

Hey, Grandma, what about him?

I'll call the manager to let
him out once we out of here.

Oh, I dropped some.

I'll get it, Grandma.

Whoa, that cheese
smells awfully good.

Look what you made me do.

You think you're so clever,

breaking into my room
with a stolen key?

But everyone knows they keep
a spare key at the front desk.

We'll never let you get away
with your filthy, evil plot.

Oh, no?
Who's gonna stop me?

A feeble, stupid,

sick woman like you?

Oh, you think that's funny?

Not that.

See, I was just thinking.

Pretty soon, you not gonna
be able to do much of nothing.

And why is that, brave,
little, soon-to-be-dead woman?

The pea soup.

The pea soup...

No... No...

No...

You stupid fool.

I did not drink the pea soup.

If you recall,

I was interrupted.

Okay,
here's what we're gonna do.

Well, well, well.

Let me see.

I think

I will reach into your chest

and rip out your withered,

shriveled heart,

and squeeze it until it bursts.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

All your butt-ugly witch-talk
don't scare me one bit.

It should,

considering the last thing
you will ever see

is my snickering face.

I believe

with every fiber of my being...

that in the end,

love will always triumph
over hatred and evil.

Is that so?

You may have turned
Alice and my grandson,

but I will make sure
you never turn another child.

So help me, God.

Now!

You stupid rat.

Look what you've done.

Run!

Look what you've done.

You stupid rodents.

Get back here!

You filthy pests.

- Yum.
- Parasites.

Kid, I'm gonna get you,

you putrid varmints.

Now I've got you!

What?

I'm done listening
to your trash talk.

What is this?

You fool.

Let me out.

Let me out!

Let me out! Let me out!

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

I will rip out your tongues.

Stupid mice.

The witch in a bottle...

- Let me out.
- Witch in a bottle...

Let me out
of this stupid fish bowl.

Hey, Grandma, this is the key
to that big trunk.

That's my key.
That's my key.

That's my key,
you pea-brain brat.

- You pea-brain parasites.
- Come on, guys.

Nah, nah...

Put your tongue
back in your mouth,

you filthy sewer guttersnipes.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?
That is mine.

- Ooh!
- That's mine.

You idiots. You scoundrels.

That is a lot of bacon.

- Lettuce.
- Dough.

Hey, you're making me
terribly hungry.

No, get your hands off
of that, that's mine!

Get your filthy paws
off my filthy lucre.

I'll poke out your beady eyes.
What are you looking at?

What's that, Grandma?

It's a list of names
and addresses

of every witch in the world.

Wow!

With that list and that money
and all this potion,

we could turn every witch
in the world into rats.

Excellent!

I'll cut off your tails

with rusty scissors.

I'll clip your ears
with toenail clippers.

I'll poke out your beady eyes.

I'll get you for this!

All right,
kiddies, one hop.

We got work to do.

I almost forgot.

No, no, no, don't do that.

What are you doing?

Hades.

Good pussy.

You are a good pussy cat.

Nice kitty.

- You two have fun now.
- Nice kitty.

Ah, you stupid,
mangy fleabag. Precious.

Put the books back.

Stay back,
you stupid, precious...

No! Hades.

Hades, precious,
remember who feeds you.

No, don't think about food.

Grandma, you hear that?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

I didn't hear a thing.

Oh! Well, thank you kindly.

And one for you.

The next morning,

we were feeling joyful
and triumphant.

As a matter of fact,
Grandma was so happy,

she was spreading her joy
to the entire hotel staff.

Thank you kindly for everything.

One for you.

And one for you.

Thank you, ma'am.

Bruno tried to explain

the situation to his mom.

Hello, Mother.

I'm now a mouse.

- It's a mouse!
- But it turned out

Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins
weren't really mouse people.

So, we decided it would be best

if Bruno came to stay with me,
Grandma, and Daisy.

Faster, faster!

Here we go!

Whee!

- Cool!
- Whoo-hoo!

How's my hair look?
How's my hair?

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Let's go again, y'all.

This time
I sit in the front.

Grandma, I love being a mouse.

Oh, I believe you do.

But you wanna know
something weird?

I still feel just like a boy.

But you are, darling.

Life changes all of us.

I mean, look at me.

I'm getting on up in the years,

but I still feel like a girl.

And I still feel like a boy.

See?

You get it.

Never give up
what you are inside.

When I look at you, I don't
see whiskers and a pink nose.

I just see your eyes.

Bright and beautiful.

Grandma,

how long does a mouse live?

Oh, an ordinary mouse
only lives about three years,

but you're no ordinary mouse.
You're a mouse-person,

and a mouse-person
will almost certainly live

three times longer
than an ordinary mouse.

Maybe even longer.

That's great news.

I couldn't stand being
looked after by anybody else.

I'll be a very old mouse

and you'll be
a very old grandmother,

and we'll both die together.

With a little luck, darling.

But no one knows how long
their time is on this earth.

Only God knows that answer.

And that is
the natural order of things.

Daisy, Bruno, and I

loved living with Grandma.

We were one big, happy family.

Where were we?
Oh, yeah. That's right.

So, here we are,

ready to carry on the fight.

Carry on the fight!

Over the years, we have turned
and mouse-afied

every damnable witch
in these United States.

So, we are gathered here
to take our battle

to the entire world.

- You have your names, correct?
- Yes, sir.

Your addresses?

Yes, sir.

And your Number 86
Mouse Maker potion?

Yes, sir. Number 86
Mouse Maker potion, sir.

Let's get out there

and give those witches
a taste of their own medicine.

So, you ready for this
mission, old-timer?

Grandma,
I've never been more ready.