The West Side Waltz (1995) - full transcript

(sweeping orchestral music)

- Margaret Mary!

Margaret Mary!

Margaret Mary!

Get back, get back, private property.

Just, step back, thank you.

Margaret Mary!

- I called the president,
he said you people

are in big trouble.

I said, don't worry, I'm
taking care of things up here.

My stage.



Move on.

Go on.

Go on, go, go, go.

- Miss Elderdice,

the beautiful most vision
of this stinking day.

- I beg your pardon.

- Thank you.

(laughter)

(cane clatters)

- Margaret Mary.

I caught ya.

What are ya doing?

- I'm waiting for the elevator.

(elevator bell dings)



- Good place to wait for it.

Oh I called you in the street.

Do you want to play today?

Or are you booked?

- What, no.

I just have groceries for the shut-ins.

It's nothing important.

Do you want to play?

- 4:00, after my nap.

(elevator bell dings)

- Good day.
- Hello.

(piano music)

(elevator bell dings)

(dog barks)

- Come here, come here.

Come on, will ya.

(dog barks)

(elevator bell dings)

(dog barks)

(sweeping orchestral music)

(cane taps)

(crash)

(man singing Italian Opera)

(door closes)

(humming to self)

- And on first violin,
our fantastic prodigal.

Prodigy.

Cara Varnum.

Ms Varnum.

("Beautiful Dreamer")

(door bell buzzes repeatedly)

(loud knock on door)

Shhh!

Shhh!

- Oh, Mrs Varnum, you
always in wrong place.

- Story of my life.

Why are you pounding, and pounding?

Don't you know Mrs Elderdice is asleep?

- No.

- Well the building is falling apart.

Do you know how cold it
is in this apartment?

- It's cold outside.

- But we pay money to live inside.

Do you know how many helpless
people freeze to death,

or starve to death in New York everyday?

Or get run over by taxis?

1000.

- 1000, everyday?

- 1000.

If I hadn't come in here,

and put an extra blanket
over Mrs Elderdice

she might not have ever woken up.

- Mrs Varnum, I know this crazy feeling,

but I am the one to fix the broiler.

You play your lovely violin,

and I go fix.

I promise.

("Beautiful Dreamer")

It's so beautiful.

You want to dance?

(plays high note)

(end with flourish)

(applause)

- Mmm, aren't you a good girl?

Practice, practice.

- Did you sleep well?

- Till an extra blanket landed on my bed,

and I woke up in a muck sweat.

Serge, there's something wrong with heat.

Could you fix if for me?

- For you Ms Elderdice I will
try to the end of my death.

- Good, you do the building proud.

- You should go now.

Mrs Elderdice needs her rest.

- I've already had my rest.

Aww.

There she is.

Look at her.

She's the only one not moving.

It's as though she doesn't
even feel the cold.

- She doesn't feel much.

She's in her own little world.

- Lucky her.

- Margaret Mary, Ralphie is better.

He got over his cough.

He's my kitty.

He was sick, but now he's okay.

No thanks to you.

- Thank you.

I going now.

- Always a pleasure to
see your handsome face.

Briefly.

- Thank you for the music.

Thank you for being nice.

- He's worse than the last one.

- The last one?

- The last super.

- The last super?

Has an odd sort of ring to it.

- Oh.

- Get away.

Please.

Oh, I see you've decimated
the bon-bon supply.

- I know why you yell at me.

You're still in morning
over Mrs Delalagro.

They say the first year is the worse year

when you loose someone you're close too.

- There will be no more
mention of Mrs Delalagro, Cara.

- Alright.

I know the feeling.

I was devastated when
my mother died suddenly

at the age of 91.

- No one dies suddenly at 91.

Do you want to play, Cara?

- Yes.

I'm so glad we have our waltzes

to keep our friendship going.

- Yes we owe it all to Johann
Strauss and his family.

("Treasure Waltz Op.
418" by Johann Strauss)

You missed the boat.

- Well I didn't know that
was where you were beginning.

- It's the beginning of the piece.

Where else would I begin?

("Treasure Waltz Op.
418" by Johann Strauss)

- Oops, I'm sorry.

- No matter.

I'm sure Mr Strauss has
his problems with it too.

(piano off key)

Well, it's contagious.

My fingers go that will be that.

- Maybe you're hungry.

I'll get you something to eat.

- No, thank you.

- Margaret Mary, you should
really let me move in with you.

I mean I could cook you real meals.

And we'd have so much fun.

My floral divan would
look so cute in this room.

- I'm sure it looks so cute
just exactly where it is.

- Human being aren't meant to be alone.

Don't you ever get lonely?

I do, don't you think I get
lonely down there in 204?

- Oh.

I have it.

Give it to me.

- Why won't you let anybody help you?

- Because I don't need help.

I enjoy my freedom.

I enjoy my independence.

I enjoy walking to the market alone,

and checking my empty mail box alone.

I don't need.

Period.

I gave you the key because
I can't hear the doorbell.

That didn't mean I wanted to go steady.

- Humph.

(door closes)

(plays fugue)

- Now we're cooking, damn it.

(sweeping orchestral music)

(traffic noises in background)

(horn honks loudly)

(cane taps)

- Do you think the
world is getting bigger?

- Sorry, are you speaking to me?

- Or are we getting smaller?

I used to get across in one light.

They don't like it when you're slow.

I just give the cars a good wack.

That's shuts 'em up.

- Yes.

Thank you.

(horn honks loudly)

- [Driver] Hey watch it, lady!

Dizzy broad.

(upbeat piano music)

- [Man] Baby!

- Hey mama.

- Yo baby.

- What are you talking to me?

What are you stupid?

This may not have entered your brain,

because you got hard hats on,

but I happen to be a person, okay?

You're correct.

I'm gorgeous.

But I won't have you being disrespectful.

Not to me or any other woman.

Got it?

(bluesy guitar music)

- A lot of people, they buy the books.

Something I throw out to
you as a possible idea.

- Well if you ever got
in a half way good one,

I might invest.

But you can't know until
you read it, can you, Jonno?

(chuckles)

- Whoop, oh.

- Entertaining, isn't it?

Didn't you mother's tell
you not to stare at people?

- You need a new pal, Mag.

Someone to land on when you fall.

- I should advertise.

What does one need to post
a notice on this board?

I'm sure you charge an exorbitant rent.

- A piece of paper,

and a pencil.

You gonna join my dating service?

- No thank you.

It's a funny notion isn't it?

To think that you can barter for something

as elusive as love.

Tell me Jonno, are you a believer

that the world can be divided into two?

And that there is someone for everybody?

- Of course I believe it.

I sell fiction to people who buy it.

- Just like a message in a bottle.

You never know what distant
shore it's gonna wash up on.

Or who might find it

among the seaweed and the beer cans.

(upbeat piano music)

(horn honks)

(chuckles)

- Oh man, what you been in a coma?

You look just like high school.

Only better.

- Yeah?

Still letting blind people
drive trucks now Sookie?

- They let me.

I bought the company.

Sookie Cerullo, Greased Pigs.

Inc.

So what are ya doing
back in the home land?

Are you slumming it?

- Staying with me father a while.

Till I catch my breath.

- Oh, what you ain't married no more?

Oh, like it's my business, right?

Hey, Geraldo Rivera.

How ya doing?

Seems like everybody from
the old days is divorced.

Except me.

Which I never got married.

- [Dispatcher] Unit five come in.

- Look, I'm down at docks here.

- [Dispatcher] Sookie?

- No, it's Newt Gingrich.

I work with genius.

You want to get together sometime?

For Auld Lang Syne?

I'll still give you a ride if you say no.

- Well I'm moving,.

To Manhattan.

- Good for you.

- I'm gonna be an actress.

- A actress?

Get out of town.

Eh, I could say that I knew you when.

- Yeah, me too.

I knew me when.

(horn honks repeatedly)

- Oh eh, this is not a parking lot.

- You're a very lively
individual, ain't you?

- What you're not lively no more?

What you die or something?

- Well I have to be inspired.

Hey, move your ugly car,

which you shouldn't
even have out in public.

We got places to go here.

(dramatic music)

I feel better.

Get your boots on New York,

there's a storm coming,

and I'm it.

I always wanted to do something like that.

Very Barbra Streisand.

(sweeping orchestral music)

(dogs barking)

- The whole worlds homosexual.

The President for instance.

- The President's a homosexual?

- Well, the new boy in the market isn't.

You should have seen him look at me.

- Oh, don't eat citrus
you'll get wrinkles.

It says right here.

- Egh.

- If you look it up homo means human,

sexual means you know what.

It's not anything queer.

- Dagostino's got a six
pack of toilet paper $1.27.

That's a lot of paper for your dollar.

- How about bisexual, what's that?

- When a man buys a prostitute
to relieve his tension.

(laughter)

- Hello ladies.

We're having a meeting
for the tenants on Friday.

- Oh well Friday is my day at the salon.

I get my hair cut.

- Good, you'll look stunning.

- I got a fever coming on.

By Friday I could be flat on my back.

- That's a discouraging thought.

(laughter)

- It's the tenants association.

You are tenants, for now.

Mr Dean wants to sell the building.

You're in the way.

You've been here for too long.

It doesn't look good that
you pay 11 cents a month

for your rent controlled apartments.

They are using terrorist tactics
to try to get rid of you.

I mean they turn off the heat.

They try to scare you.

Are you just gonna sit here and take this?

- Ms Varnum what about you?

You're a good citizen, you
care about your neighbors.

You want to do the right thing.

- Cara, are we playing?

Or have you retired?

- Oh, I wasn't sure you, yes.

- Let's go then before we
get any older and forget how.

Ladies.

(traffic noises)

(bluesy music)

- All my life I've been
waiting for this moment.

I feel so free and beautiful.

A woman to reckoned with.

I can't let you drive your
fancy car over my dreams.

From Young and the
Restless, you ever see it?

- Oh sure, all the time.

Right here on my portable color TV.

I say, you can't drive over my dreams.

And you say, if you're
dreaming in the road hun,

you get run over.

Say it?

- If you're dreaming in the
road honey, you get run over.

- Very nice.

And I say,

so, that's chance I'll take.

At least I'm still dreaming.

- You an actor?

Or just crazy.

- Both.

But don't tell anybody
about the actor part.

It's a secret.

- I was gonna mention it to Elizabeth.

Taylor.

She's a personal friend of mine.

- You know Elizabeth Taylor?

- Met her at the wedding.

Michael and Elvis' daughter?

Elvis was there.

We was both in disguise.

As homeless people.

- Okay.

Nice talking to ya.

You want a carrot?

It's good for the brain.

- Oh, no thanks.

I don't accept handouts.

- You homeless too?

- No, only temporarily.

(police sire in background)

("Flight of the Bumblebee"
by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov)

- It's a shame Ed Sullivan
couldn't have lived.

(laughter)

Have a bon-bon

- Oh thank you, aren't you kind.

- Just one.

- Mmm.

What are you doing?

- My toe touching exeresis.

It's odd even though I
seem to be getting smaller,

my toes seem to get further away.

- I tried exercising once.

It's not that much fun, really.

Oh,

I made tapioca Pompeii.

Adie Nim showed me how to
mix in bananas and stuff.

(door bell buzzes)

Door bell.

- Oh, what a red letter day.

I hope you saved some bon-bons.

- I'll get it.
(door bell buzzes)

(door squeaks open)

- Hi ya, how ya doing?

- Who in the world are you?

- Robin Ouiseau.

Which means bird in French.

Which I made up.

I'm here about the job.

- Job?

There are no jobs here.

- This is 1506, the guy
down stairs that smells bad,

said to ask for Ms Elderdice?

Wanted, someone to live
in, free room and board,

light housekeeping, companionship,

arrangements to be negotiated.

- Where'd ya get this?

- Neon bookstore on Broadway.

- The Neon bookstore?

They have naked people in there.

- No, I think I would have noticed.

- In the books.

I've seen 'em.

Why do you need somebody to live in?

I could live in for free.

- I thought it best I look elsewhere.

Come Ms Ouiseau.

Sit over here next to me,

so that I can hear you.

My name is Margaret Mary.

Which I did not make up.

This is Cara, who tends
to hang over a person.

Please.

Forgive my impertinence,

but why would you be in
this sort of situation?

Being young and pretty,

and pardon the expression, white.

- You don't want to know.

- Yes I do, actually.

- Umm, first of all I'm a actress.

(chuckles)

- I knew it.

- Thank you.

I'm from Brooklyn, which
you might be able to tell.

I lived in Connecticut for a while,

in case I seem a little mental.

I was married seven years,

so I've had housekeeping experience,

and then my husband became gay.

- Became what?

- The love that dare not speak.

- Oh, gay.

Go on.

This is good.

- Oh, I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Umm, I moved in with my father.

Which is like waking up and finding out

you dreamt the last 20 years of your life.

And now I been coming into the city,

cause you know I figure if
you're gonna do it, do it.

Pee or get off the pot.

Oh, could I use your bathroom?

I figure I at least get
to use your bathroom.

- Through there, straight
back till you find it.

We're not being very
good hostesses are we?

- Bon-Bon?

- No thanks.

- Well this time you've
truly lost your gumballs.

- What? I didn't hear a word of it.

- That's because I'm whispering.

- Whisper?

You don't whisper to a deaf person, Cara.

That shows lack of good sense.

- Fine.

- Now why don't you try skipping down,

and getting your tapioca Pompeii.

You bring it back and we'll
have a tapioca Pompeii party.

And then we'll show our guest

what a whiz you are on the violin.

- Oh sure.

It's get rid of Cara time.

Story of my life.

I was going anyway.

I have to look in on my
little kitty cat, Ralphie.

At least he understands loyalty.

(dog growling)

Hello little doggie.

Hello--
(dog barks)

Ah, shut up.

I'm sorry, I'm upset.

- Come on Jeffery.

- Hello comrade.

Not working for the other side, are you?

- Please don't.

I couldn't possibly be helpful.

I'm just, I'm not qualified.

- Yes you are.

I can see it in your eyes.

You've got the fire.

(soft piano music)

(elevator bell dings)

- You play very beautiful.

You're virtuoso, huh?

- Virtually.

(chuckles)

Mademoiselle Ouiseau.

Do you find the situation palatable?

- Huh?

Palatable?

Um, I'd have to chew on it,

and then I could tell
ya how palatable it was.

- That sounds fair.

I'm boarding on not being
able to understand you.

A good actress needs to enunciate.

- This is something I am cognizant of.

- Good.

Now, are you studying?

Are you taking classes?

Dance classes, voice classes,
reading the great plays?

- Ugh, I heard about a class.

But you got to audition.

So I'm taking my time.

I don't want to scare anybody.

Including myself.

- I was modest about my talent too.

You remind me of myself.

A long time ago.

When I came to New York I
was dizzy with excitement.

Paralyzed with fear.

Gradually I got my toes wet
studying with a great master.

And then I met Happy Harry Elderdice,

and that was that.

I put my shoes back on,

and for the rest of my
life I played for him

until he'd heard enough and dropped dead.

- Well you sure play beautiful.

- You're very kind.

My piano.

It's an old horse.

Fortunately it knows the way home.

It supported me.

I had a number of very fine students,

but musicians tend to be
put off when the instructor

is hard of hearing.

So, now I play for myself,
and the rats, and the roaches.

- Ugh, what about your friend?

- Oh, Cara.

She's like a cumulus cloud.

Nice enough,

but blocks the sun.

Mrs Delalagro was my friend.

She played the oboe.

And she read books.

And she had ideas.

And she killed herself.

- Holy curd, why?

- Cause she's a fool.

Her rent went up, and her
con-ed, and her telephone,

and her savings went
down, and her spirits.

I will never forgive her, this one.

- I'm sorry.

- Well, do you like music?

Or are you a rock and roll aficionado?

- I like music.

- It's a wonderful tonic, isn't it?

Do you drink.

- No.

Not till like embarrass
yourself and puke dimensions.

- Take drugs?

- Not really.

- Oh, you don't play the guitar, do you?

- I took one lesson.

My teacher tried to feel me up.

- How about dating?

Would you be planning on
bringing in the New York Yankees?

- No, I'm off dating.

Let 'em suffer.

It all sucks anyway.

- I beg your pardon?

- The relationship slam dance.

Life is not your basic 17th century novel.

- Oh, have you read many
17th century novels?

- Enough of 'em.

I read somewhere three our of
four marriages is gonna fail.

I'd rather buy gold.

At least if it's value goes down,

you still got a handful of gold.

You know what I'm saying?

- No, I don't have a clue.

- Connections, disconnections.

Sexual interfacing.

You know, dirty stuff.

- Well I think there's
a great moral imbalance

in this country, if that's what you mean.

- Yeah, is that what I mean?

- Well I'm not talking about sin.

Or anything as exciting as that.

I'm sick of people who play at living,

who hide for life,

and have absolutely no respect for it.

- Yeah, well okay.

This is what I'm saying.

Most people suck.

(chuckles)

- I don't know what the protocol is here.

This is my first add on a bulletin board,

and you're my first respondent.

Um, how would you feel
about walking in public

with a slightly deaf,
rheumatoid arthritic,

armature piano player.

- Okay, I guess I like to walk.

- Perhaps I could help you
with your career pursuits.

And then I wouldn't feel
so completely parasitic.

(door bell buzzes)

- Umm, I think that's your door bell.

- Oh, is it?

Don't tell me there are more applicants.

I could start a gang.

(door bell buzzes)

Well why don't you answer the door,

and we'll see how you do with that.

- I think I can handle answering a door.

- You found 1506, you so smart.

Ms Elderdice, I have this key for you.

Very uneasy making.

- Thank you, Serge.

Once again you've come though with a plum.

- A what?

- Tapioca Pompeii.

- Ms Ouiseau, do you like tapioca?

- Oh, no.

It gives me angina.

- You'll like this tapioca.

I'm gonna put it in your fridge.

If that's okay.

- Yes.

- Thank you.

- Please, sit.

Cara and I are gonna play for you,

while you mull over your decision.

Serge.

Cara.

- Yes.

- We are going to have a recital.

- Oh, God.

Get your feet off that table.

- Why are you so hostile?

- Hostile?

Hostile?

- Cara.

(breathing heavy)

Are you ready?

- Mm.

("Treasure Waltz" by Johann Strauss)

- So beautiful.

You want to dance?

- Now we're cooking.

(soft jazz)

- Everyone warm enough now?

Good.

Too bad it's the middle of June.

Some say it's too late.

That we have to accept things.

Cowards.

Is that what we said 200 years ago?

I don't think so.

(applause)

Thank you.

Thank you, that's very gratifying.

Now we need a volunteer

from every floor.

In order to monitor problems,

and to stand up for your neighbors.

Are you with me?

First floor?

Mr Robertson,

thank you.

God bless you, brother.

- Bless you too.

I was in Birmingham Alabama in 1963.

(applause)

- Second floor?

Cara?

- What?

- Will you be floor rep?

- Wh, what will happen to Serge?

- Oh nothing, as long as he does his job.

Cara,

can we count on you?

(applause)

Great.

- Alright back off.

Everybody clear the area.

No home, nobody claims you.

You're coming with us.

- I'm a United States citizen,

and a registered democrat,

and a Libra.

- And a public disturbance, come on.

- No, this is where I live.

You ask the people.

They'll tell you!

- Anybody wanna claim this person?

- Robin, what are you doing?

- You know her?

- Yeah, she's my friend.

(chatter in background)

- Break it up now.
- Gaining on us.

We're outnumbered by the moral indigents.

You a movie star yet?

- Not quite.

Got a agent, though.

Hey, get your buns over here.

Margaret Mary this is...

- Mr Goo.

- Mr Goo?

Okay, cool name.

- How do you do?

- Your getting good on that cane.

You ought to come out at rush hour.

We'll take on a few cars.

- Look got potassium on today's menu.

Which you could probably use.

- Be amazed at what I can use.

Thanks.

Sweets for the sweet.

Oh, I got something for you too.

Make very good eating.

If you're in the mood for
that colorful spring salad.

So what's on you ladies itinerary today?

- We're working on Robin's monologue.

Time to go.

This is not a vacation.

- Wanna race?

On your mark,

get set,

- Is that anyway to treat the handicapped?

- Oh, are you handicapped?

- Sometimes in store windows

I catch a glimpse of an
old woman with a cane.

It's obviously an optical illusion.

Go.

- Oh, there's nothing worse
than a handicapped old woman

who cheats!

Hey, Elderdice.

(sweeping orchestral music)

For the first time I feel free,

and alive,

and beautiful.

A woman to be reckoned with.

- Hold it.

Good.

I can't hear you.

- That's cause you're deaf.

- I'm not that deaf.

You're just saying words.

There's no feeling.

You're not selling them.

The way one would sell a piece of music.

- This ain't music.

It's a soap opera.

Usually you'd have organs playing.

- If you can make this
sound like Shakespeare,

imagine what you could
do with Shakespeare.

Now, try it again.

And make me believe it.

(sighs)

- All my life I've been
waiting for this moment.

For the first time

I feel free,

and alive,

and beautiful.

- Congratulations.

Ah.

That was absolutely horrible.

Go and stand in the house.

For the first time,

I feel free.

I feel free.

I feel so beautiful.

Look at me.

- I'll be right there, baby.

- You go away.

You didn't pay.

What do you think?

Will we get the part?

- You might.

I think I should take six months off,

and then quite.

- Don't be ridiculous.

We're just beginning.

We must work.

We have to learn our craft.

If I can draw one wino,

you should be able to
attract an entire crowd.

Go ahead.

Knock 'em dead.

- For the first time in my life,

I feel free.

And alive.

And beautiful.

(soft music)

- I'm watching you.

- No you're not.

- You're one of the special ones.

- No I'm not.

- Oh yeah.

You're an angle.

I know.

I see everything.

And everybody.

Nobody sees me.

That's one of the advantages
of being part of the garbage.

- I see you.

I've seen you ever since you
moved into the neighborhood.

Sometime I worry about you.

- See.

That's what I'm telling you.

Don't worry.

Just take care of your self.

You're doing good.

- I am?

(sweeping orchestral music)

(laughter)

- Cara.

- Oh, Cara.

- What are you doing?

We saw all your friends in the park.

On the benches cackling away.

- It's too hate for me,

I'm gonna get bumps.

- I beg your pardon.

- Prickly heat.

I get, I get rashes.

- Well you should have been in the park.

All the men were staring at Robin.

- She should put her clothes on.

- They should grow up.

- There was one gentleman,

got a little fresh.

- What do you mean?

What did he do?

- Opened up the barn door,

and let out the pony.

- He did that?

And you saw it?

- Actually he aimed it at Margaret Mary,

she had to better view.

- He could have raped you.

- Oh, he was no rapist.

Judging by his rapier anyway.

(giggles)

- What do you mean?

- Um, it was um,

it was not ready for battle.

It was at peace.

- I'm not sure I know
what you're talking about.

- Have you ever had sex, Cara?

- And in the park, was it,

that normal is it?

Look I've been a good girl all my life.

I never married,

and that was selfish of me.

But it doesn't mean that I haven't lived.

You know, y, y, you don't have to

roll in the mud to be a pig.

- We're not feeling a little vexy, are we?

- It was different when I was your age.

We were encouraged to
be proper and polite.

And dull as dish water.

How old are you anyway?

- Um, around 30.

- Around 30, I like that.

I'm around 45 myself.

- I'm around 60.

- Well now see that's interesting.

Isn't it?

What do you think that means?

30, 45, 60.

What do you think it means?

- It means we're all liars.

- No, look at us.

We're three gals, on our own.

Left alone by death, or choice,
or strange circumstance.

Three sharp cookies.

Doing their own thing.

Three losers.

- Ugh-Huh.

Three winners, right girl friends?

The good, the bad and the ugly.

I'm not naming names.

Three champions.

- Three,

angels.

(violin music)

- I don't even want to ask
you what you're doing now.

- Now, we are cooking.

(sweeping orchestral music)

My name is Margaret Mary Elderdice,

and I would like to speak to the dean

of the theater department.

Immediately.

It's an emergency.

All my life I have been
waiting for this moment.

And I refuse to lie down and die

if front of your annoying car.

(applause)

I was testing the acoustics.

- Yes.

Do they meet your standards?

- Not bad.

- I was told you wanted to
see me in no uncertain terms.

- Yes, I wish to inquire
about your program.

If there's room for another
student for instance.

- Well that depends.

The relative level of
talent for one thing.

- Moderate I would say.

Full of imagination.

- Ugh-Huh.

And what sort of age is
this imaginative student.

- Why, does that matter?

Is there some sort of cut off?

- Well we just our students
to have room for a career

within their life expectancy.

- Well that shouldn't be a problem.

(chuckles)

- Alright.

Let's see your stuff.

- Stuff?

What stuff?

- The monologue you were doing,

it sounded like a car commercial.

- Oh, you thought I was the actress.

Well, you know that's very flattering.

But it hasn't come to that yet.

I am the actresses representative.

- That's a relief.

I mean,

where's the actress?

- At home studying.

I have her reading the
collected works of Shakespeare.

Which she is finding absolutely laborious.

- Good God, I would think so.

When she's finished you
should bring her in.

Is she umm, attractive at all?

- Yes, very.

- The bring her in immediately.

- Mm-Hum.

- Oh Romeo, Romeo.

Where for art thou?

- Stupid dog, cat people
tend to nothing to you.

You crying, why?

You too beautiful cry
alone in the basement.

Many time I think,

what Ms Ouiseau looking
like with no clothes.

My wife I say, don't be so fat.

Buy nice American bathing suite.

Is impossible.

Bigger everyday.

In New York in the summer I die.

I look at you,

I want to die.

- Hello.

- No cat allowed in laundry room.

You not knowing rules?

- Serge, I always bring Ralphie down here.

He likes to chase the roaches.

- Fine, you are the association of tenant.

Whatever you want to you.

Ms Ouiseau,

good bye, don't cry.

- He doesn't like me anymore.

- Eh, he just thinks everyone
is ganging up on him.

Which they are.

- Well, all he has to do is his job.

That's all that's asked of him.

That's very nice of you to
do Margaret Mary's laundry.

Never thought you'd be so christian.

- Yeah, I'm up for sainthood.

- You know you should try
wearing a sensible bra.

It's what I do.

Do you know how many woman
have mastectomy everyday?

- 1000.

- 10,000.

10,000.

- Where do you get your little statistics?

- I get 'em.

Don't you want a boyfriend?

- Why, you got an extra one?

- No.

I just thought you're young.

Sort of pretty in your own weird way.

- Yeah you just want to get rid of me

so you can have Margaret
Mary all to your self.

- I'm not interesting enough
to be Margaret Mary's friend.

I know that now.

She needs somebody as exceptional as her.

I'm not even sure I'd
want to be my friend.

I just thought that you
seemed a little lonely.

I know what that's like.

(crying)

Don't cry.

Lonely is not as bad as
they make it out to be.

- It's just that, this
always happens to me.

I want something so bad that it hurts.

And just when I'm in danger of having it.

It's the wrong thing.

You know I'd rather climb
in that washing machine

and drown in the rinse cycle,

than disappoint Margaret Mary.

- Hi girls, having a bubbly time?

- [Both] Shut up.

- Wasn't he a cutie?

Darn it.

I should have given him a flyer.

We're trying to get people
not to pay their rent.

Which isn't as easy as it sounds.

We're showing the owners
that it takes two to tango.

In this case 247.

I never thought something I did,

could make somebody change their mind.

Which it hasn't so far.

But it's going too.

You'll see.

- Why don't you put it in the dryer.

He'll find it when he
puts on his skivvies.

- No, I couldn't do that.

That's awful.

What are you doing?

- Having a good time in
then ole laundry room today.

- Oh we can't do that.

(dramatic piano music)

- Ah, there you are.

Oh there's nothing more
defeating than having wonderful

news, and nobody to tell it too.

Then only person I could find was Mr Goo,

and I couldn't see to make her
appreciate the significance

of your having an audition at Julliard.

Aren't you excited?

I am.

I nearly fell off the bus.

I did fall off, but not that far.

- I can't go do my stupid
speech at Julliard.

They'd laugh at me.

- No one laughed at me when I did it.

- You did the speech?

- Well, yes accidentally.

- Well you see that's the problem.

You want me to be something I ain't.

- Not ain't.

Sorry.

But you are the girl who came
to New York to be an actress.

Ain't you?

- Yes, slowly at my own speed.

- Well I think that
three months of the same

depressing monologue is enough.

I'd like us to take our first steps

while I'm still upright.

- But you're not taking 'em, see?

- Pardon?

- Look, I am just some girl from Brooklyn

who watches soap operas,

and thought it would be
glamorous to be on one.

- Oh well, that is discouraging.

- Look, I read about this man Romeo

and his dysfunctional girl friend,

and I don't get it.

I'm too stupid.

- Of course you're not.

You need to work at it.

Just the same as I did.

- But I am not you.

And there's no amount of
manipulating you can do

to turn me into you.

- What?

I'm merely want you to follow through.

On something.

If you want to be a laundry folder fine.

You're very good at it.

I just don't think that you
are being completely realistic.

- And you are?

Hold up in this mausoleum,
not talking to anybody

you don't find interesting?

Well at least I'm honest.

I honestly know that I am screwing up.

- I think you've watched
too many soap operas.

- I think you're selfish.

You can't push me around the car,

and that makes you mad, doesn't it?

- I'm sorry the man from Julliard

can't see this performance.

You are being an absolute bore,

and I won't tolerate this behavior.

- You think it's that easy?

You buy somebodies friendship,

and you think you own them?

You don't own me, okay?

You just rent me, and

I'm going for a walk before I get in debt.

- Quitter!

(solemn music)

(crying)

(sweeping orchestral music)

(elevator bell dings)

- Oh hi, come on.

We're going to a show.

- Oh well have fun.

- Come with us.

What are we?

Not friendship material anymore?

- I have work to do.

For the association.

- Margaret Thatcher, here.

- Hey Varnum, what do you do

at those tenant meetings anyhow?

- Well you should come, then you'd know.

- Next thing you know,
we'll be burning our bras.

- Well make sure you take 'em off first.

(laughter)

- Come to the meeting,

maybe you'll learn something for a change.

- [Woman] Bye.

(soft music)

- Hello.

Anything wrong?

- Nope.

Why should anything be wrong?

Did you want to play today, Cara?

- I can't, I'm kind of busy.

- Oh.

Well.

- Guess what?

I'm moving.

Into 1203 with Adie Nims.

She asked me.

- Well isn't that exciting.

- It means I'll be floor rep on 12 now.

Plus I'll be nearer to you
if you need me for anything.

- Do you think I'm selfish, Cara?

- No.

Not in a bad way.

- I never thought of
myself as manipulative.

I suppose I am single minded,

and people tend to irritate me.

But I always assumed that that was because

I was superior to them.

Or inferior.

I've never been sure of which.

- You have to squint your eyes

when you look at people sometimes.

Or you'll never like what you see.

You know what I mean?

- No, I don't.

(elevator bell dings)

I'm worried about Robin.

She's not careful she'll
end up just like us.

- What's wrong with us?

- Nothing.

- No.

- No.

(elevator bell dings)

- Maybe she needs a beau.

- A beau?

Yes.

We'll just have to find
her one then, won't we?

- How?

I never knew where to look.

- Well we'll turn a few rocks,

and come up with something.

Except you're too busy.

- Oh no, I could find
time to look for a beau.

For Robin, I mean.

- Hey, no parking your truck.

- I'm not parking it, it's resting.

You're lucky I even found this place.

Coming to Manhattan is
like going to the moon.

- Rent strike, don't pay your rent.

What a minute, your not,

your not in this building.

You don't live here.

Your from Brooklyn.

It says so on your truck.

- What are you, Murder She Wrote?

- No, I am strike force chairwoman.

Bring the owners to their knees.

Your not an owner, are you?

- No.

I just, I'm looking for somebody.

Rosanne Mozzarella.

You know she's like
that girl in the circus.

Does that disappearing act.

Make your head spin.

- Rent strike.

- Thanks, already found
one in my underwear.

- Look there aren't any circus
people in this building.

And we don't have any Mozzarella's.

Might have some cheddar lying around.

(chuckles)

Get it?

Cheddar.

(chuckles)

- Don't come back to me, bozo.

- You want every horny
wise guy on the west side

calling you up?

- Well not everyone.

- We should interview them first.

See if we like them.

- Maybe we should say sensitive
and responsible men only.

Or something to that effect.

- Then you're left with nobody.

You girls make lousy yentas.

You want to find a boyfriend for her?

Don't.

This is not the old country.

When she wants a boyfriend,

trust me, she'll get one.

- What do we have so far?

- Oh, a limo driver.

The man in the bakery.

the policeman.

the priest, which is probably a long shot.

And the guy we couldn't
figure out what he was.

- Cross him off, he has not
held up well in my memory.

Who else do we know?

- We don't know anyone.

- There's the man at Julliard.

That wouldn't seem manipulative, would it?

- Is he a cutie?

What's his name?

- Mandeville, or something
factitious like that.

A bit of a pompous ass.

But I think we might as well have

pompous asses represented too.

- I could ask Neil.

The president of the association.

Although he might be gay.

I don't know, I can never tell.

- Then ask.

- Just ask, are you a homosexual?

- Personally, no.

But it's a fair question.

- Handsome, music lover?

That's me.

It's talking about me.

(chuckles)

There's no number.

God.

Did you see who put this up?

Chance of a lifetime, I'll never meet her.

- Much too enthusiastic.

He would drive me crazy.

- We got eight.

Maybe that's enough for a party.

- Mmm, mm-mm.

- It, it's Robin.

Look, hi Robin.

Hi.

- Hi ya.

What ya doing?

- Nothing.
- Nothing.

- Having ice cream, Jonno.

Could we have our ice cream, please?

- We want our ice cream.

- It is the lark that
sings so out of tune.

Straining harsh discords,

and unpleasing sharps.

Some say the lark makes sweet division,

this doth not so.

For she divided us.

- What she talking about?

That didn't make any sense.

- Romeo and Juliette.

Very good.

- Just wanted to show you I could do it.

So you think you got your moneys worth.

- I'm really pleased.

- Wh, what's this?

- What?

- You put this here?

(elevator bell dings)

(dog growls)

- Hi.

I was looking for you.

- Oh, well I'm not home.

Would you like to come in?

- Ugh, no, no.

I just needed to talk.

Association stuff.

Mr Carr in 1209 wants to be floor rep.

I guess you convinced him
we're doing a good thing.

- Oh, well then you won't be wanting me.

You got a new rep.

- I was wondering if you'd
like to run for vice president?

- What?

Me?
- Um-Hum.

- Well I did,

(mumbles)

I don't know.

I'd really have to think about that.

It's ugh,

it's a great honor.

The vice president!

Come meet the vice president!

All hail,

the vice president has arrived.

Ralphie, where are you?

I'll make you cabinet member.

Ralphie.

Come on Ralphie.

(traffic noises)

(gasps)

(sorrowful music)

Well,

Ralphie is dead.

- What is it dear?

- My best friend the cat.

I bought him for mother.

I thought she might like

a little furry face staring up at her.

But then she started sneezing.

Stupid Adie Nims.

I told her keep the screen on the window.

When I lived no two he
used to like to climb down

and play with the rats.

I guess he thought he was
jumping down one floor

instead of 12.

Serge found him.

He was very nice about it.

He said that he would
take care of Ralphie.

- I'm so sorry dear.

Have a bon-bon.

Well this seems to be the
day for loosing things.

Margaret Mary, I think it
best that I don't stay.

Since I know I will never
measure up to your expectations.

Thank you for your friendship,

Rosanne Mozzarella.

That's it.

No phone number, no address.

Gone.

And horrible spelling.

How can you misspell Margaret Mary?

For God sake.

- What about the party?

All those perfectly
good men going to seed.

- Let's play.

Give ourselves a boost.

Or are you in too much of a state?

- No.

Music is a great tonic.

- Any preferences?

How about a waltz, perhaps?

- Yes, a waltz would be nice.

You love your waltzes, don't you?

- Sometimes I think I
live my life in 3/4 time.

Sometimes I picture West End Avenue

as some snowy boulevard
in Vienna 100 years ago.

The women dressed in long dresses,

the men in high hats and tails.

Riding in sleighs.

Whispering along behind white horses.

Everyone vibrant and alive.

Full of humor and ideas.

This is helped now of course
by walking on my trusty canes.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

- I like some of the love songs.

Mother had them all.

Victor Herbert.

Cole Porter.

That crowd.

Rosanne Mozzarella?

- You scared me to death.

- That's Robin.

I know where to find her.

In Brooklyn.

All we have to do is look
for a truck with a pig on it.

- Let's play.

If the bird wants to fly,

let it fly.

(traffic noises in background)

- The hell is this, a social?

- No, there's a girl out there.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

- Is that what I pay you for?

Standing here staring at girls?

Where is she?

Okay, back to work you bunch of horn dogs.

I got the winner.

Last time I saw you on this play ground,

you was flat chested,

you has so many braces you
could set off microwave ovens.

- Yeah, that wasn't me.

- You was,

you was the most beautiful
thing I'd ever seen.

- Yeah, they have places you can go to

to help you with problems like that.

The Brail Institute for instance.

- You know, it must be hard
wanting somebody so bad,

that you have to resist 'em all your life.

Must be like forbidden fruit to you.

- Yeah.

You're a fruit, you're a mango.

And you're getting mealy

cause you feel to close to the tree.

- That's where it's sweetest.

Is that why you keep going
off shopping elsewhere?

That's dumb.

- I keep going cause I don't like it here.

I don't like everybody

wanting stuff from me I can't give 'em.

(grunts)

- That's a foul.

I don't want nothing from you.

How's that?

- Not good enough.

I can't handle somebody
not wanting nothing either.

Too much pressure.

I won by the way.

(sweeping orchestral music)

(traffic noises in background)

- Mr Goo?

Mr Goo?

Mr Goo?

Mr Goo, are you alright?

Hello.

Hello.

Dear God.

Oh the poor thing.

- Oh.

That feels good.

Mind scratching my back?

- I thought perhaps you
weren't feeling well.

- I wasn't.

I'm feeling better now.

(soft music)

- My fellow tenants.

Hi, how are you? I am fine.

- Did it ever occur to you

that maybe you are completely not normal.

- I'm writing my speech.

You have to if you want
to run for vice president.

- No wonder the cat committed suicide,

I'm probably next.

- That wasn't a very nice thing to say.

I demand an apology.

- Okay, sue me.

You've changed, Cara.

You know that?

All this tenant association mishigas.

Everybody is talking about you.

- Really?

(door bell buzzes)

- Oh, hello.

Cara, it's your pal, Queen Elizabeth.

- And you're Adie?

I'm honored.

- Thank you.

Well excuse me.

I gotta go thank God for
any additional miracles

that might come my way.

- Oh.

This is your flora divan.

- Yes.

I was ugh,

working on my speech.

- Oh good girl.

Let me hear it.

- Well,

I only have a blank page so far.

- Oh that sounds like a good approach.

More politicians should try that.

- I was wondering if you would help me?

I wouldn't want anyone
thinking they had a moron

running for vice president.

- Well it wouldn't be the first time.

I'd be proud to be your
speech writer, Cara.

Although I can't make any career promises.

Alright.

- Been playing the piano today, hum?

- No, no.

My fingers seem to be turning to stone.

Traitors.

- I know where to find Robin.

I went to the post office.

And looked in the Brooklyn yellow pages.

The man who came to see her,

was a mechanic.

I thought it was a butcher.

We could take the IRT.

I asked at the subway.

- The subway?

I don't believe we're gonna
go riding off in the subway

looking for somebody who
does not want to be found.

- Oh yes we are, Margaret Mary.

I am.

And you're coming with me.

(sweeping orchestral music)

(train rattles on tracks)

(horn honks)
- Robin!

Hi honey.

Hi.

See that's her.

- There you go.

Oh light as a feather.

- Dinosaur feather.

Margaret Mary you got to try this.

Do be careful with her.

Be careful now.

- Just what I need in my life.

Thank you.

- This is so arty.

I didn't know you had talent.

- Thanks.

- No, that's not what I meant.

- Oh she's talented.

She's very talented.

- These are certainly lovely, Robin.

You should be proud.

- Yeah, who ever saw a
men's room look so elegant.

- Where's your dad?

I was hoping to meet him.

I mean just meet him,
not for romantic reasons.

- He's at the zoo, which
is his big account,

which is why I'm helping him out,

because he can't draw
giraffes for nothing.

They always have humps.

So ugh, sorry you went to all this trouble

to have your suspicions confirmed.

I'm hiding out, like you said.

Might as well call the FBI.

- I went to all this trouble because,

I never had a chance to say goodbye.

I can understand, incidentally,

your attraction to the theater.

You have a wonderful since of drama.

- Thanks, it's what they do
in acting class you know.

Pretend you're a painter,
pretend you're a bottle.

Evaporate.

- Tell her.

- Oh, umm.

Cara and I are sorry.

We were trying in our
inimitable, inept way to create

a party in your honor.

- A party, alright.

- I don't like parties.

- Well you would've liked this one.

I mean I was gonna ask all the
ladies to make refreshments.

And Margaret Mary and I were gonna play.

Would've been a blast.

- Well we can still have it.

A bon voyage party.

Each of us going in her own direction.

Cara straight to the top
of the political dung heap.

I to hell on a walker.

And you wherever it is you're going.

What do you say?

- Oh, say yes.

What the heck?

Let's live a little.

- Or it could be a homecoming.

Your room is still there.

No dirty laundry in site.

You don't have to be an actress.

You can just be my friend.

- What times the party?

("Emporer Waltz, Op.
437" by Johann Strauss)

(applause)

- Thank you.

Umm, any requests?

- Yeah, stop playing already
so we can hear ourselves talk.

(laughter)

- Do you know the International,
the socialist party anthem?

(laughter)

(all talking at once)

This building has been listed
for sale as rented facility.

The owner has backed
down, and we have won.

(applause)

- Your friend, tell her to
me Ms Elderdice invite to her

the party to you.

- Sorry if I held things up.

Ugh, Woody was having a
little thing of the lanes.

That's always the way it works.

Hello everybody.

- Hi, Nancy.

- Cara.

- She's that lazy bum lady.

- Margaret Mary.

Nice place you got here.

- Mr Goo, so kind of you to come.

- All these people live with you?

- Umm, no.

None of them actually.

- Really?

Must be kind of lonely.

- Tonight, forget about everything.

I take you to New Jersey.

- I'll think about it.

Super hell of a party, Cara.

Mr Goo!

So who are all the studs?

- What?

Umm, I don't know where they came from.

- Is this the famous what's-her-name?

- Yes.

Robin Ouiseau.

Mandeville Trouble.

From the Julliard School of Drama.

- Some say the lark and
low the toad changed eyes.

Oh now I would they
had changed voices too.

So don't drive your fancy
car all over my dreams.

- How extraordinary.

What was it?

- Romeo and Juliette, Young and Restless.

- Come on everybody, it's time to dance.

So everybody grab a partner.

- Would you do me the honor?

- No.

But you could make me very happy.

- Really?

I would like that.

- You could dance with
that lady over there.

She's knows Liz Taylor.

(dramatic music)

- Tonight I could die.

- Dance with me, Cara.

I want to see the fire in your eyes.

- My goodness.

I've never really danced
with a man before.

- Oh, that's okay.

I've danced with lots of 'em.

There's nothing to it.

(waltz crescendos)

(applause)

- Oh.

Well,

I'd like to say to all my friends,

old and new.

Mostly new.

That is has been a long time

since these walls have
resonated with so much noise.

It's a fitting celebration,

because,

our Robin is back.

Robin, welcome home.

(applause)

- Alright, the more the merrier.

- Oh.

Oh, another new friend.

It's an epidemic of friendship.

- Where the hell you been?

- I, I go park my truck.

Next thing I know I'm in Harlem.

Margaret Mary, you look ravishing.

- Thank you, but you
missed my entire speech.

It's all in the timing.

(chuckles)

- Umm, I ain't gonna be moving back in.

Me and Sookie, we're getting married.

(soft music)

- Humm, well what a surprise.

What a wonderful surprise.

And this is something you
want with all your heart?

It's not just another
stop on your migration?

Cause I'm not sure Sookie could take it.

(soft music)

(crying)

- This is all so terrible.

And exciting I mean.

We'll always be together
thought, won't we?

The three sisters?

- Who never made it to Moscow.

Yeah, Sookie.

Sookie, congratulations.

Good luck.

- Thank you, I'm gonna need it.

(jazzy music)

- Dance damn it.

Why is everybody standing around staring?

- Now, you and me.

I have the appetite of many men.

(chuckles)

- There's plenty of me to go around.

- Is that music you're playing, or what?

- You want me to stop?

- Good lord, no.

Keep going.

(jazzy music)

Now we're cookin.

(sweeping orchestral music)

- Margaret Mary, where are you?

Margaret Mary?

Oh my God, Margaret Mary what happened?

Why are you on the floor??

- Well I tried to go for a walk.

I didn't get very far.

Frankly I like it down here.

- Here we go.

What happened to Mrs Donaldson?

- I fired her.

She's too serious.

Nothing more depressing
than a serious nurse.

I'm alright.

Thank you.

- You can't keep firing nurses.

That's three in two months,
you'll get a reputation.

- I don't care what I get as
long as it's not another nurse.

- Look.

What do ya think?

- It's a tad small.

- It's not for me, silly.

It's for Robin.

It's for her wedding night.

(chuckles)

- Oh Sergio Valentino.

Serge, I don't mean to be redundant,

but my heat is proving unreliable again.

- I am no longer the super.

I am fired.

- What?

- The new owner, Mr Misaki say,

why you can't fixing the broiler?

I try, it's impossible.

It's too old.

Instead of new broiler, new super.

This is the life.

- Well this is an outrage.

The association will
have to give Mr Misaki

a little welcoming party.

Don't worry.

We'll take care of you.

- No, I am finish.

Is not fun being not wanted.

My wife has the brother in
Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania.

Always he want me to working to him.

Making broken cars.

- That's a good idea.

You should make a clean
get away while you can.

Hand me my purse,

I want to give Serge $20.00.

- I am not here being super wanting tips.

I have money too.

Here.

$20.00 for Ms Elderdice,

$20.00 for Mrs Varnum.

I am sick of doing this and
that for people not caring.

Next time I fix toilet, is my toilet,

and people can go to hell.

- Serge?

- That's a good attitude.

Give me the money, Cara.

I am really sorry.

I have insulted you.

We're friends.

All of us here.

Such as we are.

- Ms Elderdice, you are always the most.

And Mrs Varnum.

(horn honking repeatedly)

(siren wails)

- God if it's not one
thing, it's six others.

We're gonna miss the show.

- Nervous are you, Cara?

- I just don't see why people get married

when it's freezing out.

Winter brides make cold
wives, my mother always said.

- Well I think in this case

it's safe to assume she was mistaken.

- I bet you little Robin's
got herself preggy.

Wanna bet?

(sorrowful violin music)

- Dear God.

- You want to go back?

- Yes, Robin will understand.

- Humm.

(sorrowful violin music)

- I thought you guys wasn't coming.

I was ready to send everybody home.

(laughter)

- Come here.

- What ya staring at?

Cause I'm wearing white?

It's okay, I've been revirginated.

- No like white, that's what I would wear.

I think you look very pregnant.

Pretty.

Very pretty.

- Thank you, you look very pregnant too.

So do you, Margaret Mary.

But only one of us is though, right?

And I'm not naming names.

(joyful music)

(laughter)

- Okay?

Look here are my old girlfriends.

Let's get on with it.

("Wedding March" by Mendelssohn)

(polka music)

- Aren't you freezing?

- Eh, maybe I've lost all
the feeling in my limbs.

It happens, you know.

- Stop it.

You having fun?

Robin's father is a very good dancer.

And he's so quite.

- Sounds like the ideal man.

- Hey, what is this a
private party up here?

I'm getting ready to throw the bouquet.

- The bouquet!

- I'm aiming at your face, so be ready.

- Alright, I will.

- So everybody is giving me presents.

I got something for you guys too.

- Oh you shouldn't have.
- Thank you.

- I'm glad you did.

Lovely.

- You spelled my name correctly.

- So are you guys gonna come visit me

when I set up my dream house
out behind the repair shop?

- Of course we will.

Will you continue to work for your father?

Or are you going to be
branching out again?

- Part time.

I'm gonna work for Sookie part time too,

because he frankly needs my help.

I'm still coming into the city though.

You know do the occasional
cameo on Broadway.

Maybe I'll take the class, who knows?

- Sounds like a very full life.

- Yeah, you think so?

You're my roll model, you know.

- Good lord.

Might as well jump off
this terrace right now.

- Are we still married here, or what?

- I'm thinking about it,

is it too late to renegotiate?

- I want to dance with my wife.

I've only been waiting all my life.

- Well then you should be rewarded.

(grunts)

Cause I don't want you guys
hanging around out here

smoking cigarettes and stuff.

You come inside where I can see you.

I like to see you.

- It's so romantic.

I could cry.

- Please don't.

I don't think I could stand
anymore emotion in one day.

- Alright, I won't.

(crying quietly)

I'm moving.

- Alright, I'll be there in a minute.

- No, I'm moving.

There's a single coming up on 11.

Oh, Mrs Sapfire?

She's going into a home.

- Oh.

- And I already talked to Mr Misaki,

and he said I could have the apartment.

He's kind of afraid of me, you know.

Cause of my political clout.

- Humm.

And what about your room mate?

- I'm sick of Adie Nims.

She has no,

imagination.

We got big plans for the association.

It's gonna keep me busy.

- You're having fun, aren't you?

- It's alright.

- [Robin] Okay girls, bouquet time.

- I like to think that I'm
useful and people like me.

And if they don't like me?

Too bad.

- If you grow tired of
your new bachelor pad,

you might consider giving
1506 a shot at some point.

- 1506?

1506, that's your, your apartment.

Where you going?

- No where voluntarily.

- You mean we'd live together?

- Yes.

You can have Robin's room.

Unless Mrs Donaldson has stolen the bed.

Or does that sound like some
desperate act of manipulation

from an old cripple who
doesn't like nurses?

- It sounds like music to my ears.

Oh.

We can hang our signs beside the door.

Everybody would know we were friends.

- Provided I got top billing.

- Well we could hang them side by side,

in alphabetical order.

- Okay.

- I mean I think we should give
that serious consideration.

Discuss all the pros and cons.

It's what we do at the meetings.

- Mmm-humm.

- Then put it to a vote.

- It's just an idea, let's
not beat it to death.

- Alright.

Let's not get vexy.

Come on, we're missing the party.

Let's go in.

- You go on.

I'd like to sit here for a minute,

and just enjoy the cold.

Go on.

I'll be right there.

Won't be able to sleep tonight

unless I have seen you dance
with every man in the hall.

- It's a deal.

- Now we're cookin.

(sweeping orchestral music)