The Weekend Fix (2020) - full transcript
After an overdose, a young man's father sets up a rehab in their isolated mansion on a lake. An eccentric team of hired professionals attempt to "fix" him in this coming-of-age dark comedy taking place over one weekend.
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Dunka hunka dunka hunka
dunka, hunka dunka dunka.
Hunka dunka hunka dunka
hunka and Schwartz.
Oh, welcome.
Come in, come in,
come in, come in.
Smells good in here.
Yeah.
This is my world-famous goulash.
It's almost ready.
You hungry?
Oh, no.
Yeah, of course.
Sure, sure, sure.
Well--
I just want to get my package.
China white, right?
Yeah.
Have you ever done
heroin before?
Yeah.
How much you want?
Uh, five grams.
Whoa.
That's a big party.
Or are you just gonna--
No, big party, big party.
Lots of people coming.
Lots of fun.
I see.
Well, let me see what I got.
My neighbor I need
some powdered sugar.
Yeah.
We're sorry.
Your call cannot be
completed as dialed.
You don't say.
Please check the
number and dial again.
You do say.
This is a recording.
OK, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yep.
My guy says there
was a big bust.
There's nothing on the streets.
The good news is, I've got a
great drug for your party that
would be just excellent.
It's lysergic acid diethylamide.
It really-- it opens you up
to a new way of thinking.
Well, for first
timers, I like to see
a person have a good trip.
So why don't you just
stay, and do a small dose,
and see how you like it?
What happens when
your wife comes home,
and I'm tripping balls?
It's just me.
So what do you say?
A little goulash and some acid?
No.
How much you need?
Say, for 10 people?
No.
I need at least 20.
Ah, there.
Oh, wait!
Here.
Just bring back the
container next time.
All right.
And don't let the door hit
you in the ass on the way out.
Goddamn bats.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter.
Are you like a
lawyer or something?
I'm your driver.
Hey, Pete.
He's talking to
your dad right now.
He'll be with you in
two, three minutes.
Can you have a seat?
He's here?
Pete, hey!
Shit.
Pete, no.
One sec.
Yeah.
Yeah, he just walked out.
So what do you have to say?
All right, look.
I know I fucked up.
And I'm thinking a lot about
it, and I want to fix it.
So the counselor came by at
the hospital and gave me this.
I think it's
exactly what I need.
And I'm willing to go
as soon as Dad wants.
Rehab?
No.
Do you have any idea
how much of a nightmare
that would be for the company?
So the plan-- your dad has
hired a team of experts
to counsel you at
your lake house.
At the lake house?
Yeah, kind of jealous.
I was there last weekend.
Beautiful.
Took Sophia for a spin.
No.
There's no way he'd
let you do that.
But I digress.
Let me tell you about the team.
First, we have Greg Ranger,
LA's life coach to the stars.
A life coach?
Are you serious?
He is the son of advertising
legend Jeff Ranger and home
fitness pioneer
Sheila Sunters, which
is how he got a start in
the entertainment business.
So my idea is that I
would make a videotape,
and then people could just
watch it in their living room,
and you could work out at home.
I don't know.
Why wouldn't people
go to the gym?
I'm telling you, this is
going to be a gold mine.
Come on, Dad.
Just do it.
He actually got a producing
credit on his mother's
first workout VHS set.
In addition to
producing, he actually
starred alongside
his mother sometimes.
Hi.
Welcome to Sheila Sunters
VHS Workout Video Tape.
We're going to get you pumped.
That's my son.
This guy--
Almost there.
--Is going to be my life coach?
All right, here we go.
That was 20 years ago.
As he got older, he got
into personal training,
where he met a certain
young starlet--
Do this.
--Developed a
relationship with her--
Oh, do that.
Mm, ah.
--And helped her choose
a breakout role--
Do this.
--Which bloomed
into him becoming
one of the highest regarded life
coaches in all of Los Angeles.
Woo!
Haha!
That's it!
There we go!
Let's kick it.
Over the past 10 years, he's
counseled numerous stars
to success and
actually released--
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
I got it.
All right.
Who else do you got?
Dr. Quinn Allen.
You know who she is?
Yeah, what?
She's like a guru or something?
Not quite.
Amongst numerous
other accolades,
she's the youngest Harvard
psychology professor
in the school's history.
She's also slated to host her
own show on NBC in the fall.
And according to the foreword
in her latest and greatest,
she talks about wanting
to affect behavior
at a young age--
Brace face!
Brace face!
Brace face!
Brace face!
--And how, after taking
things too far one time--
You know, you shouldn't do that.
Hand them over.
--A progressive
guidance counselor
taught her the
benefits of meditation,
which she now credits
for her incredible focus.
Graduated high school at
14 and never looked back.
Your dad also hired a nurse.
And I guess he takes your
dad's blood every week.
It has been arranged that
everyone stay at your lake
house and work all weekend.
Oh, this weekend?
Yes.
You'll arrive Friday morning.
All transportation has
been taken care of.
Everyone else will
arrive in the afternoon.
You know, some people say when
you pull a label off like that,
it's a sign of
sexual frustration.
It is.
Oh.
Are you sure he's on
the same flight as us?
Because I'd really
love to get going.
Yeah.
If we're the only two in first
class, let's just take off.
Can we just get
back and get him?
Finally.
Why don't you send
me your phone number?
I get you in contact with Sandy.
Hey, how you doing?
Does she actually
have clout, though?
Good to meet you.
Sandy Craig?
Yes.
Room up there for one more?
She's the best PR
in the business.
She's insane.
She's a rock star.
I mean, she's--
All right.
Well, I had--
Guys, how are you?
Great to meet you.
Really great to be here.
This last guy that I
had, he was just like--
--one weekend.
--He didn't do anything.
No, Sandy's insane.
I mean, you would love her.
Acres of space back here.
She's the best.
Yeah.
OK.
No, it seems like--
it seems like a good idea.
It seems like it's time.
But-- Lets boogie.
--Here's my email.
Here's my email.
And just tell her
to email that one.
Yeah.
Oh, this is nice.
No phone number?
No.
You-- forgive me, but
you look really familiar.
You're that lady
from TV, Quinn Alex.
Allen.
Allen, sorry.
Wow, that's pretty cool.
I I'm sorry, I
didn't get your name.
Greg Ranger.
Pleasure to meet you, Greg.
I'm Kelly, by the way.
What do you do, uh, Greg?
I'm a life coach, yeah.
You should do research before
you hop on a team assembly.
I was pretty busy.
It's good, though.
You know, like, birds do that.
They know each other
before they migrate south.
I want to form a V with you.
That's not a bad idea.
It makes it difficult--
That's not that a bad idea.
--To do that.
But fine.
If I-- my life
actually had a coach,
I think I'd be stuck on a bench.
You guys know each
other before--
No.
--Coming up?
We just met on the plane.
Kinda looked like you knew
each other for a while.
You on the same
flight on Monday?
No.
I've got an early
taping in New York, so--
you?
No, I gotta go to Cannes.
Wow, that's nice.
Nah, it's for work.
I'm not into reading
movies, you know?
Well, my work is
changing bedpans
and wiping old ladies'
rears, so good on you.
Are we almost there?
Hey.
It's great to meet you.
I'm really looking forward--
Can you give me five minutes?
Oh, yeah.
Just to get set up, and
then we can get to work.
OK.
Oh, great.
Is there an office
somewhere that I can--
Oh, yeah.
Just down here.
Great.
See you in five.
Hey.
Is there a way to get this--
Oh, you're all good.
You just hit that button.
Got it?
Yeah--
Sweet.
Oh, nice.
Oh, there he is.
My man.
Man of the hour, Pistol Pete!
Mind if I call you
that, Pistol Pete?
Is that cool?
It's cool.
It's the name of my
great hero, Pete Sampras.
I can tell the two of
you have more in common
than just the name.
Great.
That's--
Question, Pistol.
Are you ready to get firing?
Actually, um, I got to--
Dr. Allen said I'm
supposed to go in with her.
Dr. Allen?
Oh, right.
Quinn, yeah.
That's try to keep it on a
first-name basis this weekend.
You know what I mean?
We have to stay
comfortable, right?
Comfortable, right?
Come on.
Come on.
Come on!
Yeah.
All right, my man.
So I'm going to go
pick a room upstairs.
Yeah, just upstairs.
Just toss this in one
of those, I assume.
Yeah, yeah.
Presume?
Assume?
Presume?
Who gives a fuck, right?
Yeah.
All right.
So listen.
Yeah, you get in
there with Quinn.
And then I'm going to
catch you on the flip side.
Got a busy weekend ahead of us.
So we really got
to push through.
You know what I mean?
And that's the thing I want
to teach you this weekend,
is you got to show
that little voice up
that's in the back of your head.
We're going to make
it happen, you know?
Quick and efficient.
That's how I'd want
to do it anyway.
Quick and efficient's better.
Even if they gave a whole year
I'd want to do it in a weekend.
You don't need more than
a weekend to fix yourself.
You know, a "give a mouse
a cookie" kind of thing.
Give a guy an hour
to do things, he's
going to take an
hour and ten minutes.
Give him a minute, he's
going to figure that out.
Nope, not a problem.
Not a problem.
I've always said life is kind
of like a five set match,
you know?
And you know who
came out on top?
Pistol Pete.
Oh yeah.
They didn't see it coming.
I'll just--
When the going gets tough,
man, when it gets hard,
you got to ramp it up.
You got to shift gears.
You got to push through!
That's how we do this!
And if you can't do that,
you are done for, my friend.
Hello.
Sorry.
I needed a quick refresh.
It was a long car ride.
I'm so happy to be here.
I--
Since we haven't been
formally introduced,
I'm Dr. Quinn Allen.
Is it all right if
I call you Pete?
Yeah.
Yeah, Pete's fine.
Is there another
nickname you'd prefer?
No.
Greg started calling me Pistol.
But Pete's--
That's a great nickname
for someone who's suicidal.
Oh, no, I'm not.
I was just--
I'm going to be working with
you for the next few days
to really take a step back and
look at yourself objectively.
Oh, that sounds great.
That book is going to be
your roadmap to success.
You read it, correct?
Well, I didn't know
I was supposed to.
What did you think you were
supposed to do with it?
I--
How am I supposed
to execute what
your father has paid me to do if
you don't take this seriously?
I'm serious.
Good!
We have to work as a team.
Is that who I think it is?
Is that my man, Pistol?
Mr. Pistol in the house.
Got to read.
My turn.
Come on.
Reading is for fruit cups.
We're not a fruit cup.
Let's go do some real stuff.
Come on, Pistol.
Let's move.
Why are you here, Greg?
What?
Why are you here?
Pistol, bro.
Pistol.
Come on, dawg.
I want to be here, Pistol.
I drove a really far way to
be here with you, to help you.
OK.
I mean, I left a
lot of big stuff
back west to come here to
help you, big-name people.
I don't want to name
drop, but big people.
Let's just say this
one particular client--
her games are no longer hungry.
You dig me?
She was a little negative, and
I showed her the silver linings
of her playbook.
It's Jennifer Lawrence.
Yeah.
I know you like
her, don't you, huh?
Come on, Pistol.
I love when you smile.
Let's do it!
All right, Pistol.
This is the drill.
I have an activity plan for
each chapter of my audio advice.
I also have these waterproof
noise-canceling headphones.
So we don't have to
worry about getting wet.
Now, my philosophy is thus.
You don't have a single--
dude.
Come on, bro.
What?
I'm in the middle of
explaining this to you,
and you're putting
things in like that?
Oh.
I'm talking.
I didn't--
Pistol, come on.
Now, my philosophy, which you
may have already figured out,
because I embody
it, is that you need
to take advantage of
every single second.
Every moment is precious.
And you got to play that
thing out to the buzzer.
So while you're listening
to my audio advice,
I'm going to be
playing some Bach.
If we're going in the water,
I got to get my life vest.
Pistol, I don't want to hear
that negative talk, all right?
You're done having other people
hold your head above water.
I know you're thinking.
Why Bach?
No, no. Metaphors aside--
The reason I'm listening
to Bach is that I too--
--I got to get my life vest if
I'm going to get in the water.
--Need to live by my
mantra and take advantage
of every single second.
So while you are doing that, I'm
going to listen to this dude,
and I'm going to go for a swim.
Swim?
No.
I'm not going to go for a swim.
I'll go on on the boat--
I hear he's pretty
fucking decent.
--But I'm not going for a swim.
And I'm always down for
trying something new, Pistol.
Always.
Come on.
Don't worry.
I'll be with you the whole way.
Oh, hey there.
Huh?
I'm Greg Ranger.
Yeah, I hear you.
And welcome to a new life.
This audio advice is going to
get your life moving, which
is exactly what we want,
because as my boy Isaac says,
a body in motion
stays in motion.
And that dude was smart.
Just remember, throughout
this whole experience,
you will never be alone.
I'll be here--
Where you at?
--Vibrating your ear canals,
talking you right through it.
Uh, talking you
right through it.
It's good, right?
Yeah.
OK.
Let's get started.
First, I want you to
take a deep breath.
Yeah, just like that.
Nice and easy.
Second, take in
your surroundings.
Look around.
What do you see?
Maybe a duck crossing
through a lily pad.
And third, I want
you to get ready--
Here we go!
Here we go!
--For the Ranger.
Progress!
Oh, daddy.
Well, that was surprising.
And that's life.
It's always surprising.
And it's always changing.
And we have to go with it.
So now that I've got your
heart rate up, let's get--
This isn't going to be easy.
Life that's a full-time
job, and I'm here for you.
Just think of me
as your shepherd,
and I will guide you to
where the grass is greener.
You psyched?
God, I'm psyched, and
I hope you are too.
Chapter one.
Life is like treading
water fully clothed.
Oh god.
God, he's back.
No, no, no.
Stay down.
Those things will
kill you, you know.
What?
Life coaches?
Yeah, sure.
Smoke?
No, probably shouldn't.
Suit yourself.
Thank you, by the way,
for the mouth to mouth.
Yes.
Don't worry about it.
It's what I do.
Much appreciated.
So you're the nurse?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think your dad
wanted somebody around
to keep you alive
through the weekend.
Well, I mean, you did hire the
world's most charismatic hit
man, so jury's out
on that one still.
I will do my best
to keep you around.
Oh, well, I'm glad someone is.
Your dad didn't seem
like such a bad guy.
Just wait till he doesn't
have a use for you.
For example, Mom
was in rough shape.
And the doctors said
that it was our call,
said that there wasn't
much of a chance.
But you know, the machines
would keep her going,
as long as we had hope, as
long as we wanted to hold out.
But it took him just a
couple moments to decide.
Ouch.
I just-- I wanted to be
part of the decision.
But now I'm not a
part of anything.
I'm sorry.
I heard all that queued
up for Dr. Allen.
Felt like I was ready
just to come out.
It just didn't
happen today, so--
and here I am, spewing my guts.
It's OK.
I don't even know your name.
Oh, Kelly.
Kelly.
Pete.
Pete.
Pete, it's a pleasure.
That could've
happened to anybody.
Yeah, but like, I--
I don't think that the approach,
just throwing him in the water,
is the best way.
OK.
But I can make this work if
some kind of mutual respect,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
So if you're looking to--
Yeah.
--You know--
Yeah.
--Do something with me--
OK, well, we agree
that we can't let
this mishap weaken our stance.
Well, in essence, we're
saying exactly the same thing.
Theoretically.
But practically, we could
not be further apart.
Well, we agree we
have to stay firm.
Yes.
But it's such a vague term.
OK.
Why don't you tell me your
little plan step by step,
and I'll see if it gels
with my philosophy?
Don't patronize me.
I'm not.
I'm simply listening
to your argument
and trying to strengthen
the specificity of how
we're going to attack this,
which is what you said,
remember?
You said that that
was the problem.
You said that.
I need a drink.
'93 DRC.
Don't mind if I do.
No.
No thanks.
I don't think you understand.
That's really cute.
You can't buy a bottle
of this under $8,000.
This is the creme de la creme.
I don't care.
Can you please cut it out with
this pissing contest bullshit?
Please?
OK?
Let me make one
goddamn decision.
This is what we're having.
No, this is what we're having.
What the hell is that?
It's crap.
It's a cheap domestic.
They probably cook with that.
Full bodied, from California.
Musky aromas, fairly
rough undertones,
with an explosive finish.
This is what I want
to drink all weekend.
I'll get the corkscrew.
Hello?
Yeah.
Yeah, how are you?
Good.
No.
No, no, no.
I told you, that just a notice.
No.
Yeah, I know what it says,
but it's not going to happen.
It's just bank stuff
they're talking about.
I didn't say anything because
I've got it taken care--
you know I don't like it
when you call me that.
I'm working my ass--
I'm not going to
let anything happen.
They can't even come
in and take anything
until the first of the month.
Why don't you just
trust me for something?
I'm looking at the
papers right now.
I've got them right here.
Everything's perfectly in order.
Oh.
I got to get back to work.
Hey.
Hey.
Sorry.
I couldn't help
but hearing the--
It's nothing.
Don't worry about it.
Nice.
Well, I just remembered that I
left some stuff in the garage.
Do you smoke?
What kind of stuff?
Oh, just pot.
Just-- how fucked up
do you think I am, man?
It's just--
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, what about
Quinn and Greg?
Oh.
No, they're not coming.
No, it's just you and me.
Cool kids, right?
I really don't know
that it's working.
Yeah.
It's like not hot, right?
Used to way hotter.
You look pretty sweaty.
I perspire easily, so--
Hmm.
Is this a little warm
for the, Gregster?
No.
Not at all.
It's just the walls, you know?
They're like more compressed
than they are in LA.
I do this all the
time with, uh--
Mm.
I hate name dropping.
It feels so gross, you know?
Mm.
Agreed.
When you're hanging out
with the king of the world--
it's tempting.
It's DiCaprio
You say it like that.
It made me think that--
Sometimes I hear Greg Ranger--
sort of sounds
like Hermie-onie--
Hermie-onie--
--Granger.
Greg Ranger, Hermione Granger.
Yeah, I guess so.
It's kind of like, if
she was like a DJ, that
would be her last name.
What?
You know?
How do you mean?
You know what it would be like?
It would be like,
all right, let's
welcome to the world's best DJ,
Hermione Greg
Ranger in the house.
Wait, what's-- is she
wearing squishy shoes?
Where she goes,
squish, squish, squish.
Those are records.
You should know that, old man.
Come on.
Get it together.
Yeah it was like--
something like that.
I don't know what that is.
Here, it'll
make more sense in a minute.
My kids love Harry Potter.
That's-- What's it
like to have kids?
They're actually
not my kids, they're
my wife's from her last husband.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but they feel
like it's your kids?
No.
No?
No, I just say that.
I say my kids so I don't have
to explain it to everybody.
Yeah.
The oldest one hates
me, I swear to God.
I think he's trying
to poison me.
What?
Evidently, his grandma was
turning him on to some Murder,
She Wrote.
Next morning the kid brings
me tea for breakfast.
Oh, that's not good.
I don't drink tea.
I know you don't.
That's not good.
The crazy thing?
I drink it every morning.
That's some dark shit, my man.
What was it like when
you almost died today?
It wasn't too bad, it was pretty
chill, actually, you know.
I think dying gets a bad rap.
It was like a--
it was like having a good sleep.
Pretty good.
That's great.
Yeah, I guess it is.
Let's be stealth here.
Shh.
I'm trying to be quiet.
You're like a freaking
Clydesdale back there.
You being stealth or what?
I'm too high.
Hey, guys.
How are you doing?
Just working out, doing
cardio, getting electrolytes.
Great, good talk.
I'll see you guys
tomorrow, yeah?
Have a good night,
Pistol, tomorrow morning.
You don't hit that
snooze, right?
Metaphor for life, my man.
Don't snooze.
Just a second while
I fix my whole life.
Oh, hello Quinn.
How are you today?
I'm good.
Nice to meet you, I
really hope to know your mind.
What an awkward day, am I
an alien or are people just
really unkind?
Here comes, radio
through my door.
I should really be downtown.
Here comes a lion
with her silent roar,
I should really go downtown.
I'm simple as--
Wow, you're early.
You look different.
Yeah, it's from high school.
I guess I've grown
a little bit, but--
What's that?
I dropped one of dad's models.
Why don't you sit down?
OK, look.
I've got to come clean.
I didn't--
You didn't read my book.
No, no, I didn't drop the model.
I fucked it up, and
it felt pretty good.
Don't change the topic.
I didn't, I brought
up the topic.
That you didn't read my book.
No, the car.
Well, did you read the book?
Jesus Christ, I
didn't read your book.
OK, stop asking that question.
I just-- I even, I went
and smoked to try to focus.
And it just, it didn't--
What exactly did you smoke?
Just pot.
Relax.
Do you want to go do your little
reset thing in the corner?
Get out.
Can we talk this through?
Is that--
I don't know, did
you read my book?
What is the point of you
being here if I'm reading
this goddamn book all weekend?
Get out.
Is that him?
Mr. Michael Phelps?
Come on, brother.
Let's do it.
Go away, Greg.
I'm reading.
Come on, brother.
We talked about this.
Greg, go away.
Pistol, your tone
right now, it's not
really jiving with how I work.
Yeah, well when you
take that grievance
and shove it up your ass, OK?
Because I need to
focus right now.
So I can't have
you all up in here.
Watch your tongue, boy.
There's a line, and you're
starting to cross it.
Or what?
You're not going to grace me
with your audio knowledge?
Tell me, what what's
the whimsical simile
of the title of chapter two?
You want to know,
because tell you.
Let me guess, let me guess.
It's helpful.
Life is like-- what?
Running til you puke.
You're upset, I understand.
Run until you puke.
You're upset.
OK, here's what it is.
It's, life is like--
Pistol--
Getting trapped in a tanning
bed, because I've seen
you've taken that to heart.
This is good for you.
That's really something
that you've run with.
Lets put something in the sack.
Oh, oh, life is like sticking
your head in a beehive.
Yeah, that sounds
like something that
would spew out of your mouth.
You know why?
Because you've gotta
get stung before you
get the sweetness of life.
No?
Any of those?
None of those.
None of those?
Not a single one, no.
That's great, so
I just gave you--
I've got way more than that.
--A bunch of inspiration
for the next piece of shit--
I make sense when I talk.
Pistol, I fix things--
--that yo're going to put
out and call helpful I
I swear to God, I will
break something right now.
So here's what
we're going to do.
You're going to
go up, and you're
going to run on your little
fucking hamster wheel,
and use that big
baritone voice of yours--
Namaste.
Record--
Namaste, Greg.
--The next best seller.
And what I'm going to do is
I'm going to take this book,
and I'm going to read it.
OK?
All right.
OK.
That's good.
Good talk?
Mother-- I swear.
I swear, can you talk
to that little punk?
Because I swear to
God, I didn't go
to Krav Maga for three years.
Not to to kick some ass!
I'll take care of this.
Kelly!
You, come here.
I was trying to read.
Are you kidding?
Oh.
Kelly!
What am I supposed to be doing?
Kelly?
What's up, team?
I'm putting Pete
downstairs until Greg
and I figure out
what to do with him.
So what am I supposed to do?
Stay down with him, don't
let him leave, and make
sure he doesn't get high.
Why would you tell them
about you getting high?
It was just pot, I saw six empty
wine bottles from last night.
I didn't think it would
be such a big deal.
You didn't say anything about--
No, I didn't.
Hey, you want to play pool?
No, I don't really play.
You don't play?
What do you mean?
You've got a pool table
right here in your basement.
Come on, I'll kick your ass.
All right, OK.
Rack them up.
This is what we're going to do.
I'm going to work
him until he pukes.
I understand why you
want to do that--
He needs to fall in love
with the pain of hard labor.
--I just don't think it's
going to work on him.
That's what he needs.
I think he needs to sit in
the corner for three hours--
What the hell is he going
to learn from a corner?
He's a type C personality.
All types bleed, every
single one of them.
This is what I'm talking about.
You can't just
discredit a generation--
Sh.
Oh, don't shush me.
Nobody shushes me.
You don't stop talking.
I can't even get a word in.
It's not a conversation.
It's not-- I'm literally
just getting talked at.
So what I don't
understand is if something
works 100 % of the time--
100 %-- That may have
worked on your clients,
but this is a
different situation.
Why won't you let me just
show you how it works?
This is a different situation.
Well, we have to do something.
I don't know why I thought
I was good at this game.
That is a mystery.
That's 10 in a row, just
stop the bleeding already.
You want to quit?
That was fun, I enjoy
winning every time.
I hope they're not as
angry as they sound.
Trust me, they're in a much
better mood than you think.
I hope so.
Yesterday they were in good
mood, and I almost died.
I do feel bad he almost died.
Yes, that would have
been a mess if he
had kicked it on the first day.
What kind of kid doesn't
have the ability to swim?
He owns a lake house.
That's not on me.
It's such a loaded question, I
don't have time to get into it.
It's more of a
rhetorical question.
What chakra is this, because
I'm really feeling it.
I guess I was just really read.
I don't like-- really
red, really sweaty, here--
kind of whistling, like
wheezing kind of thing.
That's really creepy.
You were just sitting
there naked in the corner?
Yeah, yeah.
And poor Martha.
Who's Martha?
She's been our
cleaning lady forever,
and she is the
sweetest person I know.
I can't imagine.
It I just felt so
bad, because I guess
when I was doing
that, it reminded her
of this terrifying urban legend
that she'd got told as a child.
This guy who kills
children at night,
so it really shook her up.
She thought you
were coming for her?
Yeah.
That had to shake her
up, can you imagine?
Thank God it was just LSD.
What do you mean?
Because you can't die
from an overdose of LSD.
You might mess
your head up, but--
Right, yeah.
Good thing.
You didn't know that, did you?
Yeah, yeah.
I just got confused with--
Right.
I just uh-- -- remembering all
the horrific losses you had
here.
I'm thinking about Martha
looking at you naked.
Oh my goodness.
I bet you she's thinking about
that too, you know what I mean?
Oh, we can figure something out.
Agreed.
If we stay up here
much longer they
may think something's
going on with us.
No, they won't.
They don't have a clue.
What makes you say that?
I saw the in the kitchen
last night, and they saw me.
When?
Remember when I cramped
and had to go replenish?
Ooh, that must've been 2 a.m.
I them him I was doing cardio,
they totally bought it.
I don't do cardio.
Did Kelly seem off at all?
He was just a little
more quiet than usual.
Don't worry about it,
they don't have a clue.
Elaborate, please.
Stop being so vague.
OK, let's see.
Small bead of perspiration was
forming above my right eyebrow
and the light from the
fridge was hitting thy leg.
Stop.
This is serious.
Is there anything else
of use you can tell me?
I don't know.
I don't know.
OK.
They looked like two
deer in the headlights.
That's it.
You come back, you can
recycle, you come back again.
Reincarnation.
Oh, all right, well, OK, so
if that's what you believe in.
Yeah.
What you come back as?
I come back as a bald
eagle, can't you see it?
Well, that's quick.
Gives me a chance
to shit on everyone.
Can I see you two, please?
The verdict's in.
She said please.
So first of all, I think
you owe Greg a big apology.
Yeah, yeah I probably do.
Where is he?
Upstairs in his room.
Roger that.
Actually, can I talk
to you for a second?
Sure.
It's a little bit sensitive,
maybe we could talk in here?
OK.
Great.
This is a weird little room.
Take a seat.
OK.
What's up?
So I wanted to speak with you
as a fellow medical practitioner
and get your advice.
OK.
Lately I've been having
really overwhelming anxiety,
and I was wondering what you
think I should treat it with?
Let's touch,
come on, bring it in.
We don't--
Come on, meet me the middle I
can't stay mad at you, Pistol.
Oh, I like you too much.
Yes, oh God, it feels good.
I hate that, you know,
on the shoulders.
I'm glad this worked out.
Yeah, yeah, me too.
Feels like we should celebrate
or something, you know?
What
Sort of thing were you thinking?
Something to really let go.
To just like get
me out of my head.
Meditation, maybe?
I tried that.
I don't know, I feel like
it's kind of like a peace pipe
moment or something.
I don't know, peace pipe?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't care.
I'm down if you are.
What do you mean?
Do you smoke pot, Kelly?
No.
Maybe a little bit of that, uh,
sheeba you and Kelly smoked
last night.
No, yeah, that was me.
It was?
And I finished it, so--
You and him?
No, just by myself.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Truthfully, my wife
doesn't let me do anything.
She's pretty much just
sucked the life out of me.
Between you and me,
I lay there at night,
I just think, what if I--
Oh no, sorry, I just
really want to hear,
but I really have to
go to the bathroom.
Can we put this on
hold for just a second?
Yeah.
OK.
Let me, you know, let me
run the final credits, OK?
Yeah.
I close the curtain.
Do we have to--
Let me show you something.
You loose?
Huh?
No, I'm not.
No.
Loosen up, you open?
I'm open.
Is the door open?
Progress.
You feel that?
Yeah, I felt it.
Sh, listen, listen.
I can feel you being resistant.
Yeah.
It's aggravating me, it's
throwing off my progress.
Hi.
Oh, there she is.
We're just patching some things
up, On the ol' trouble train.
Mm-hmm.
How's things going on there?
Not great.
Kelly just admitted to getting
high with you last night.
What?
And he has to go.
I can' believe he would
do that to you, Pete.
It's to be expected.
It's awful, makes sense though.
Pure sabotage.
Knew you wouldn't do that
on your own accord, bud.
I cannot believe you two.
Kelly, I didn't say anything.
Don't believe a word they say.
Enough.
Pete, everything's
going to be fine.
Just give us a second
to figure this out.
I'll be out here.
So Pete was just
telling us about--
Let's just stop the games, OK?
What do you want to know?
Well, my colleague
and I think perhaps
you maybe procured some--
Did you smoke pot with Pete?
Yes.
Anything else?
No, that's pretty
much the whole thing.
We're good at this.
You do realize we're going
to have to report this?
Report it?
Yeah, you're going to have to
pack up your bags early, bud.
No.
No?
No.
What do you mean no?
I think it's pretty clear.
No.
No.
Yeah, I don't think you have
a whole lot to say in this.
I know you don't have
a lot of say in this.
You're going home.
Nope.
Let's go to my
office, make the call.
If you make the
call, then I'm going
to have to make
a call of my own.
Look, I was going
to tell them myself
about the swimming thing.
The Ranger Tough program
is extremely rigorous,
and Peter has a fragile
frame, his father knows that.
It's not about you practically
killing him the first day.
I'm referring to the
fact that the two of you
have been going at it like
rabbits since we got here.
Rabbits?
Sex.
Oh.
No, no, that's, no.
That didn't happen.
At all, prove it.
Sorry.
OK, look.
No calls need to be made.
Let's just keep this between
us three professionals
and get through the next
day as painless as possible.
All right?
Agreed.
Great.
No more lighting
the menorah, shalom?
Sleep tight, you two.
I'm ready to go to war.
No, it's OK.
Everything's fine.
Really?
Just go to bed, I'll
see you in the morning.
Hi, I'm sorry to
bother you so late.
I know it's extremely late.
I felt that I needed to call.
I just thought it was my
duty to call and report
a major ethical infraction.
Hello?
Hi, I'm just calling
to inform you
that due to a breach
in the business
ethics code of your
contract, your services--
Dad?
Pete?
Dad?
Is that you?
Whoops, sorry, wrong number.
Hello?
Kelly?
Yeah?
OK, great.
I'm just calling to inform
you that due to a breach
in the business ethics
code of contract,
your services will
no longer be needed.
You know what, whatever.
You know what, this was a
sinking ship from the start,
and we both know what that
means for the captain.
Anyway, when did
you get me out here?
Well, you'll have to
find your own flights now
that the contract is void.
Hello?
Hey, this is the Gregster.
I'm so glad you're up, awesome.
Listen, I need to get
on the earliest flight
out here tomorrow.
Change of plans.
What did he tell you?
Well, that I am not
at liberty to discuss.
But it will remain confidential?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Will I still get paid
for the first two days?
No.
I really need this money.
Is there anything that I can do?
Unfortunately not.
Safe travels, and
have a good night.
To getting fired.
In the name of love.
Oh, a little respect please.
For the wine, I mean.
It's expensive.
I mean, it's cool, it's fine.
Saw a few more
bottles downstairs.
Saw a lot of bottles downstairs.
Hmm.
You know, you should
come out west.
You'd love it.
You'd kill it out there.
I do sometimes for work.
I don't mean for work, I
mean come hang out with me.
What, for the
weekend or something?
No, as long as you want.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Or I could come to New York.
I mean, it could happen.
That'd be nice.
Great, I'll change my flight.
What?
Hi, yes, it's Greg.
Can I change my flight?
Yes, again.
Well uh, to New York this time.
Early in the morning, and--
hold on one second.
What seat are you, I
actually can get us
right next to each other.
Stop!
No, stop!
This guy's incredible.
Stop!
What?
Please, can we just pump
the brakes for a second?
We can talk about this
maybe in the spring?
I need to, like--
Spring?
--Think about it.
I'm sorry, hold on.
The spring--
You can't just
change your flight.
That's forever.
This is a passionate affair.
This isn't Lasik.
It's time to go to war.
Can you hear him?
He's crazy right?
Did I say fertile?
Did I say fertile?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hi.
The connection's
really in and out here,
I think you're saying aisle.
But what is your
seat preference?
Window.
If we do it, I'm just
saying, argument's not over.
Neither!
Ugh.
Send him to Kathmandu!
What I wanted to ask, was--
this is tough.
Will you just stop fooling
around with that thing,
put it down?
And just tell me your plan.
I was thinking I
could shoot you,
then turned the gun on myself.
Please tell me
that's not your plan.
We could switch it around,
you could be the shooter.
Great, just when I thought
it wasn't going to work.
You flip it, and then
it makes perfect sense.
I'm so stupid.
I don't know why I
every thought it--
It's not stupid.
I think this is
a big decision, I
think we need to--
this is a little rash.
It's not rash!
It's not an impulse, Pete.
I have researched this plan
for longer than anything
I can remember.
I had a birthday last week.
Happy belated.
Thank you.
I went out onto the Facebook to
respond to all those bullshit
messages that you
get on your birthday.
You know what happened?
No messages.
No, there were
plenty of messages.
People I don't even know.
But there were these two ads.
Two ads, there's
one about a book,
the tallest bridges
in the world.
And the second one
was about where
to get a straight razor shave.
Don't you see?
My computer knew me, my
intentions, my interests.
It's the only thing that's
ever really understood me
as long as I can remember.
And then this
weekend came up, it
was a pile of money,
a glimmer of hope.
I thought maybe if I don't lose
the house, my wife will stay.
Maybe those kids will like
me someday, after puberty.
Maybe it's just the tension of
this whole foreclosure that's
sending me down this wrong path.
And then it hits me.
This weekend is about
meeting you, making a friend
and finding a companion that
can go with me on this next step
in our journey.
Let's make a fresh start.
Please.
I wish I knew what to say.
Could the fresh start
to happen without this?
I have enough pills
for both of us.
No, none of that.
You don't want to go with me.
Would you be up for
talking to someone?
Someone who knows
what they're doing.
What do you say?
Maybe we can work this out?
Go get her.
Go get her.
Hey, would you let
me get a sip of that?
Yeah, go ahead.
How long is this
fucking driveway?
Hey dark
eyes, rest with me
a while as I drift
closer to sleep.
But still cannot, still
cannot find no peace.
And you let go of
glass, at our feet.
It rained through the night.
And you take the fire, escape.
Run down the street
to the church.
Hey, murderer, the killing
keeps us close enough.
Hey murderer, every
breath you steal
is a breath that
I breathe for you.
Let go of glass, at our feet.
It rained through the night.
You let go of
glass, at our feet.
It rained through the night, and
you take the fire, escape run
down the street to the church.
Oh, hey.
Couldn't sleep?
Oh, ready to leave.
Fair enough.
Morning.
Hey, making breakfast.
You want some?
Yeah.
Thank you, I'm starving.
Coffee?
Tea.
Could you hand me the eggs?
So were you just outside
running all night?
Pretty much, yeah.
Pretty amazing.
I don't understand how you
could so something like that.
Oh--
There's more.
There's more where
they came from.
Here you go, see?
I'm fine.
Who wants toast?
No matter what
life throws at you.
And I think that's
something that's
really going to come back and
help me out in the long run.
What do you think, Greg?
I think that's great, Pete.
Why don't you get me some milk?
There's not a whole lot
of this left, Pistol.
That's OK, I'd rather have
a bit than none at all.
OK.
You think he's going to eat?
Was that a suitcase?
You OK?
You know it helped
me last night?
This.
Guilt only functions as
a tool to pick scabs.
You read my book.
So I guess the question
I've got for you,
is are you a scab picker?
Excuse me?
Are you a dirty
little scab picker?
Yeah.
OK, so what's your plan?
This is happening whether
you like it or not,
you little bitch.
All right, so you better
fucking smarten up.
So that's a little creepier
than I thought, but it's just
From that
dream, eyes awakened
through the dark the
day slowly breaking.
Climbing light Is scattered
with the words I wish to moan.
My hands are cold.
My heart is aching.
So lay me down--
Good morning, you can
just sit anywhere.
But just so you know,
we're closing real quick.
Oh, it's fine.
I already know what I want.
Could I do an egg white omelette
with tomato, spinach, peppers--
Y'all ain't from
around here, are you?
No, no we're not.
No, just visiting.
Oh, visiting, that's great.
I could ask Corey to whip
up or visitor's special,
and make sure that--
That sounds amazing.
Let's do that.
Great, that just made
my life so much easier.
OK, Corey did you hear that?
Gravy, and your waffle.
Wow.
What are you two getting into?
Excuse me?
What plans do you have
for your stay here?
Oh.
You should take her out fishing.
No fishing.
Marv.
Take her peach picking.
Marv, doesn't Carl
still have those tanks?
You say tanks?
Yep, you can drive them
over cars and junk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's-- can we do that?
Is there a number I can call or?
Nope, but you'll be in church.
Good morning, everybody.
Good morning.
What a beautiful day it is.
Are you supposed
God bless you, back?
I don't think they mind.
Yeah, it's so nice here, right?
It's really nice.
Hey, sorry.
Yeah, hey.
How you doing?
All good?
Yeah.
Peace be with you.
Yeah.
Peace be with you.
Peace be with me, yeah.
Sorry, my uncle said that
you wanted to talk with me?
Are you the tank man?
You want crush something?
Yes, I do.
All right.
Yes.
I like his enthusiasm.
OK yeah, let's do it.
Let's get to it, all right.
Why don't you all
give me a minute.
I just want to change
out my church clothes.
Get to crushing.
I'm a bad, bad
man, don't you understand?
I'm a bad, bad man,
best you turn and ran.
Whoa.
All my life I've
been kicked around.
Nobody breaks me, they
can't keep me down.
I'm a bad, bad man.
I'm a bad man.
And I pour your misfortune
and hold it in your hand.
Sorry.
I don't feel pain right now.
I really don't.
That look like it hurt son?
Oh, no, no, no.
How was the ride?
What you think?
It was-- Yeah.
You see that right there?
Nothing makes me happier
than a speechless customer.
I find that after
people's first time
they tend to enjoy a cold one.
Oh, yeah.
Not me, I prefer them warm.
You can drink it faster.
All right, OK.
Oh, tank man, we must've been
soulmates in another life,
because this is such
a beautiful thing.
It really was.
I really appreciate it.
My name is Carl.
It's Carl.
I know, it's Carl.
And secondly, the Lord
only gives you one go.
I love that.
I love that.
That's great isn't it?
Damn, she likes to drink?
Oh.
The drum beats on.
OK, I guess we're leaving.
Thanks my man.
Adios.
Thank you.
We should've probably
put the top up.
Truthfully.
I like it.
Huh?
I like it.
Oh, it's beautiful.
It's really nice.
I love it.
My hair is all over the place.
I was complaining about
not going in the lake,
this is my version.
This is it.
This is it.
Oh, my God.
I couldn't sleep.
Yeah, well, this thing
is pretty good, actually.
You don't think it's bullshit?
Don't you dare
question Quinn Allen.
She's one of the smartest, if
not the smartest person I know.
Read me something.
OK, how about this.
One of my best ways-- it's
so weird reading this to you.
I don't know why, but--
one of my favorite
ways to relax is
to sit in crosslegged
pattern for three days.
Three days?
You should've see--
You're crazy, woman.
Hi.
Oh, man.
Believe it, I'm hungry again.
Me too.
Want to grab some food?
Yeah.
Call a driver so we
can get fucked up.
All right, OK Yeah.
Hey, could you come pick me up?
Just as soon as
you can get here.
Oh hey, could you
get some flowers?
I'm not sure.
Is it the biggest and prettiest?
Awesome, thank you.
All right, come on Greg.
Come on Greg.
Come on, Dougie.
Get some work done.
Get some work done, yeah baby.
Salamat po!
Greg Ranger is in my car!
Thank you, Dougie.
Let's go baby.
Yeah, go get some.
Yeah.
Greg?
Quinn.
You're back?
I've been looking for you.
How did you know I was here?
I'll save that one
for our grandkids.
Excuse me?
No.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Pistol, nice, I'm so glad
you're here for this.
Quinn.
I already said no.
Just let me say this.
OK?
Quinn, where do I start?
Oh shoot, sorry, just
forgot this one thing.
Real quick.
Start with the music, right?
Quinn,
where do I start?
Jesus.
Pistol what's with the Wi-Fi
here dude, it's killing me.
What, you're
streaming the music?
Can you restart it, please?
I don't think you've
thought this through.
Dude, just, all right, fuck it.
Just hold this.
Fuck it, I don't need it.
Quinn, where do I start.
A confession I guess.
I have always had this gnawing
self-perception, an idea
that made me hate myself.
An assumption that
no matter the person
or whatever the situation, I
could never sacrifice myself
for someone else.
Before last night
I knew I liked you.
I liked your fight.
I liked you strong
sense of self.
I liked the way we,
you know, have sex.
We have sex.
But it wasn't until last
night, last night when
every fiber of my body
told me without hesitation
to take a bullet for you
that I realized, I love you.
All this confusion.
All this infatuation.
Everything in my head is
spinning over and over.
You make me a person.
I'm sorry this is all too much.
I know, no I know.
I realized that when I tried
to move into your apartment.
We've known each
other for two days.
It would be madness
for you would
want to commit your life to me.
It's crazy.
It's nuts, but last night I
ran until my feet were raw.
I mean, I was just trying
to figure this thing all out
and it wasn't until
Pistol said something.
Until Pistol said
something this morning
that made me think
everything was crystal clear.
Quinn, I'd rather have a
little bit than nothing at all.
What?
What I want this
ring to symbolize--
what I want this--
Pistol, Pistol, give
me the fucking--
Get your head in
the game, wake up.
What I want this
ring to symbolize
is that I'm ready to
commit my life to you.
And I'm willing to take
anything that you're
going to give to me.
Because I'd rather have a
little bit than nothing at all.
So tonight, Quinn, I'm
going to start small.
Will you be my
fiancée for a night?
Just for a night?
Let me spend the rest of my life
convincing you, hour by hour,
minute by minute, second
by second, that, baby--
baby, we belong
together, you and me.
OK.
Yes!
Whoo!
That's what I'm talking about!
Best man written
all over this guy!
Am I right?
Come on, hurry up.
We gotta go get Doug,
he's in the car.
Um, who's Doug?
Douggie?
Oh, dude, you're
gonna love this guy.
He's fucking hysterical.
He cracks me up.
It's sick.
Oh my god, I love this sweater.
It's a great sweater.
Whoo!
Enough of
me, I'm into you.
And we've been
talking all night.
My lips are sealed,
I said a ton--
Yeah, I'm sorry, sir.
There's nothing
available until 6:00 a.m.
Would you like me to book it?
Ah, just pour me
something strong.
Well, we just did last call.
The coffee's
cold, the silver's old.
Sir?
I think your flight is boarding.
You stare at me.
You say a ton, but the
words don't fit right.
You oughta know that we'd
wait out in the sun, darling.
Hey.
Where's my goddamn Tupperware?
Hey, come on in.
I got some goulash on the stove.
All right.
Into the
dark we will go.
Your cold green eyes
are giving me nothing.
I can chew.
And you can scream
your heart out 'cause
it's everything you do.
Girl, you know you do it too.
You oughta know that we'd
wait out in the sun, darling.
Oh, you got a heart that
couldn't waste anymore.
You oughta know that
you are so cold.
Into the dark we will go.
MedTech Industries.
We cannot come to
the phone right now.
Please leave a name--
Dunka hunka dunka hunka
dunka, hunka dunka dunka.
Hunka dunka hunka dunka
hunka and Schwartz.
Oh, welcome.
Come in, come in,
come in, come in.
Smells good in here.
Yeah.
This is my world-famous goulash.
It's almost ready.
You hungry?
Oh, no.
Yeah, of course.
Sure, sure, sure.
Well--
I just want to get my package.
China white, right?
Yeah.
Have you ever done
heroin before?
Yeah.
How much you want?
Uh, five grams.
Whoa.
That's a big party.
Or are you just gonna--
No, big party, big party.
Lots of people coming.
Lots of fun.
I see.
Well, let me see what I got.
My neighbor I need
some powdered sugar.
Yeah.
We're sorry.
Your call cannot be
completed as dialed.
You don't say.
Please check the
number and dial again.
You do say.
This is a recording.
OK, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yep.
My guy says there
was a big bust.
There's nothing on the streets.
The good news is, I've got a
great drug for your party that
would be just excellent.
It's lysergic acid diethylamide.
It really-- it opens you up
to a new way of thinking.
Well, for first
timers, I like to see
a person have a good trip.
So why don't you just
stay, and do a small dose,
and see how you like it?
What happens when
your wife comes home,
and I'm tripping balls?
It's just me.
So what do you say?
A little goulash and some acid?
No.
How much you need?
Say, for 10 people?
No.
I need at least 20.
Ah, there.
Oh, wait!
Here.
Just bring back the
container next time.
All right.
And don't let the door hit
you in the ass on the way out.
Goddamn bats.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter.
Are you like a
lawyer or something?
I'm your driver.
Hey, Pete.
He's talking to
your dad right now.
He'll be with you in
two, three minutes.
Can you have a seat?
He's here?
Pete, hey!
Shit.
Pete, no.
One sec.
Yeah.
Yeah, he just walked out.
So what do you have to say?
All right, look.
I know I fucked up.
And I'm thinking a lot about
it, and I want to fix it.
So the counselor came by at
the hospital and gave me this.
I think it's
exactly what I need.
And I'm willing to go
as soon as Dad wants.
Rehab?
No.
Do you have any idea
how much of a nightmare
that would be for the company?
So the plan-- your dad has
hired a team of experts
to counsel you at
your lake house.
At the lake house?
Yeah, kind of jealous.
I was there last weekend.
Beautiful.
Took Sophia for a spin.
No.
There's no way he'd
let you do that.
But I digress.
Let me tell you about the team.
First, we have Greg Ranger,
LA's life coach to the stars.
A life coach?
Are you serious?
He is the son of advertising
legend Jeff Ranger and home
fitness pioneer
Sheila Sunters, which
is how he got a start in
the entertainment business.
So my idea is that I
would make a videotape,
and then people could just
watch it in their living room,
and you could work out at home.
I don't know.
Why wouldn't people
go to the gym?
I'm telling you, this is
going to be a gold mine.
Come on, Dad.
Just do it.
He actually got a producing
credit on his mother's
first workout VHS set.
In addition to
producing, he actually
starred alongside
his mother sometimes.
Hi.
Welcome to Sheila Sunters
VHS Workout Video Tape.
We're going to get you pumped.
That's my son.
This guy--
Almost there.
--Is going to be my life coach?
All right, here we go.
That was 20 years ago.
As he got older, he got
into personal training,
where he met a certain
young starlet--
Do this.
--Developed a
relationship with her--
Oh, do that.
Mm, ah.
--And helped her choose
a breakout role--
Do this.
--Which bloomed
into him becoming
one of the highest regarded life
coaches in all of Los Angeles.
Woo!
Haha!
That's it!
There we go!
Let's kick it.
Over the past 10 years, he's
counseled numerous stars
to success and
actually released--
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
I got it.
All right.
Who else do you got?
Dr. Quinn Allen.
You know who she is?
Yeah, what?
She's like a guru or something?
Not quite.
Amongst numerous
other accolades,
she's the youngest Harvard
psychology professor
in the school's history.
She's also slated to host her
own show on NBC in the fall.
And according to the foreword
in her latest and greatest,
she talks about wanting
to affect behavior
at a young age--
Brace face!
Brace face!
Brace face!
Brace face!
--And how, after taking
things too far one time--
You know, you shouldn't do that.
Hand them over.
--A progressive
guidance counselor
taught her the
benefits of meditation,
which she now credits
for her incredible focus.
Graduated high school at
14 and never looked back.
Your dad also hired a nurse.
And I guess he takes your
dad's blood every week.
It has been arranged that
everyone stay at your lake
house and work all weekend.
Oh, this weekend?
Yes.
You'll arrive Friday morning.
All transportation has
been taken care of.
Everyone else will
arrive in the afternoon.
You know, some people say when
you pull a label off like that,
it's a sign of
sexual frustration.
It is.
Oh.
Are you sure he's on
the same flight as us?
Because I'd really
love to get going.
Yeah.
If we're the only two in first
class, let's just take off.
Can we just get
back and get him?
Finally.
Why don't you send
me your phone number?
I get you in contact with Sandy.
Hey, how you doing?
Does she actually
have clout, though?
Good to meet you.
Sandy Craig?
Yes.
Room up there for one more?
She's the best PR
in the business.
She's insane.
She's a rock star.
I mean, she's--
All right.
Well, I had--
Guys, how are you?
Great to meet you.
Really great to be here.
This last guy that I
had, he was just like--
--one weekend.
--He didn't do anything.
No, Sandy's insane.
I mean, you would love her.
Acres of space back here.
She's the best.
Yeah.
OK.
No, it seems like--
it seems like a good idea.
It seems like it's time.
But-- Lets boogie.
--Here's my email.
Here's my email.
And just tell her
to email that one.
Yeah.
Oh, this is nice.
No phone number?
No.
You-- forgive me, but
you look really familiar.
You're that lady
from TV, Quinn Alex.
Allen.
Allen, sorry.
Wow, that's pretty cool.
I I'm sorry, I
didn't get your name.
Greg Ranger.
Pleasure to meet you, Greg.
I'm Kelly, by the way.
What do you do, uh, Greg?
I'm a life coach, yeah.
You should do research before
you hop on a team assembly.
I was pretty busy.
It's good, though.
You know, like, birds do that.
They know each other
before they migrate south.
I want to form a V with you.
That's not a bad idea.
It makes it difficult--
That's not that a bad idea.
--To do that.
But fine.
If I-- my life
actually had a coach,
I think I'd be stuck on a bench.
You guys know each
other before--
No.
--Coming up?
We just met on the plane.
Kinda looked like you knew
each other for a while.
You on the same
flight on Monday?
No.
I've got an early
taping in New York, so--
you?
No, I gotta go to Cannes.
Wow, that's nice.
Nah, it's for work.
I'm not into reading
movies, you know?
Well, my work is
changing bedpans
and wiping old ladies'
rears, so good on you.
Are we almost there?
Hey.
It's great to meet you.
I'm really looking forward--
Can you give me five minutes?
Oh, yeah.
Just to get set up, and
then we can get to work.
OK.
Oh, great.
Is there an office
somewhere that I can--
Oh, yeah.
Just down here.
Great.
See you in five.
Hey.
Is there a way to get this--
Oh, you're all good.
You just hit that button.
Got it?
Yeah--
Sweet.
Oh, nice.
Oh, there he is.
My man.
Man of the hour, Pistol Pete!
Mind if I call you
that, Pistol Pete?
Is that cool?
It's cool.
It's the name of my
great hero, Pete Sampras.
I can tell the two of
you have more in common
than just the name.
Great.
That's--
Question, Pistol.
Are you ready to get firing?
Actually, um, I got to--
Dr. Allen said I'm
supposed to go in with her.
Dr. Allen?
Oh, right.
Quinn, yeah.
That's try to keep it on a
first-name basis this weekend.
You know what I mean?
We have to stay
comfortable, right?
Comfortable, right?
Come on.
Come on.
Come on!
Yeah.
All right, my man.
So I'm going to go
pick a room upstairs.
Yeah, just upstairs.
Just toss this in one
of those, I assume.
Yeah, yeah.
Presume?
Assume?
Presume?
Who gives a fuck, right?
Yeah.
All right.
So listen.
Yeah, you get in
there with Quinn.
And then I'm going to
catch you on the flip side.
Got a busy weekend ahead of us.
So we really got
to push through.
You know what I mean?
And that's the thing I want
to teach you this weekend,
is you got to show
that little voice up
that's in the back of your head.
We're going to make
it happen, you know?
Quick and efficient.
That's how I'd want
to do it anyway.
Quick and efficient's better.
Even if they gave a whole year
I'd want to do it in a weekend.
You don't need more than
a weekend to fix yourself.
You know, a "give a mouse
a cookie" kind of thing.
Give a guy an hour
to do things, he's
going to take an
hour and ten minutes.
Give him a minute, he's
going to figure that out.
Nope, not a problem.
Not a problem.
I've always said life is kind
of like a five set match,
you know?
And you know who
came out on top?
Pistol Pete.
Oh yeah.
They didn't see it coming.
I'll just--
When the going gets tough,
man, when it gets hard,
you got to ramp it up.
You got to shift gears.
You got to push through!
That's how we do this!
And if you can't do that,
you are done for, my friend.
Hello.
Sorry.
I needed a quick refresh.
It was a long car ride.
I'm so happy to be here.
I--
Since we haven't been
formally introduced,
I'm Dr. Quinn Allen.
Is it all right if
I call you Pete?
Yeah.
Yeah, Pete's fine.
Is there another
nickname you'd prefer?
No.
Greg started calling me Pistol.
But Pete's--
That's a great nickname
for someone who's suicidal.
Oh, no, I'm not.
I was just--
I'm going to be working with
you for the next few days
to really take a step back and
look at yourself objectively.
Oh, that sounds great.
That book is going to be
your roadmap to success.
You read it, correct?
Well, I didn't know
I was supposed to.
What did you think you were
supposed to do with it?
I--
How am I supposed
to execute what
your father has paid me to do if
you don't take this seriously?
I'm serious.
Good!
We have to work as a team.
Is that who I think it is?
Is that my man, Pistol?
Mr. Pistol in the house.
Got to read.
My turn.
Come on.
Reading is for fruit cups.
We're not a fruit cup.
Let's go do some real stuff.
Come on, Pistol.
Let's move.
Why are you here, Greg?
What?
Why are you here?
Pistol, bro.
Pistol.
Come on, dawg.
I want to be here, Pistol.
I drove a really far way to
be here with you, to help you.
OK.
I mean, I left a
lot of big stuff
back west to come here to
help you, big-name people.
I don't want to name
drop, but big people.
Let's just say this
one particular client--
her games are no longer hungry.
You dig me?
She was a little negative, and
I showed her the silver linings
of her playbook.
It's Jennifer Lawrence.
Yeah.
I know you like
her, don't you, huh?
Come on, Pistol.
I love when you smile.
Let's do it!
All right, Pistol.
This is the drill.
I have an activity plan for
each chapter of my audio advice.
I also have these waterproof
noise-canceling headphones.
So we don't have to
worry about getting wet.
Now, my philosophy is thus.
You don't have a single--
dude.
Come on, bro.
What?
I'm in the middle of
explaining this to you,
and you're putting
things in like that?
Oh.
I'm talking.
I didn't--
Pistol, come on.
Now, my philosophy, which you
may have already figured out,
because I embody
it, is that you need
to take advantage of
every single second.
Every moment is precious.
And you got to play that
thing out to the buzzer.
So while you're listening
to my audio advice,
I'm going to be
playing some Bach.
If we're going in the water,
I got to get my life vest.
Pistol, I don't want to hear
that negative talk, all right?
You're done having other people
hold your head above water.
I know you're thinking.
Why Bach?
No, no. Metaphors aside--
The reason I'm listening
to Bach is that I too--
--I got to get my life vest if
I'm going to get in the water.
--Need to live by my
mantra and take advantage
of every single second.
So while you are doing that, I'm
going to listen to this dude,
and I'm going to go for a swim.
Swim?
No.
I'm not going to go for a swim.
I'll go on on the boat--
I hear he's pretty
fucking decent.
--But I'm not going for a swim.
And I'm always down for
trying something new, Pistol.
Always.
Come on.
Don't worry.
I'll be with you the whole way.
Oh, hey there.
Huh?
I'm Greg Ranger.
Yeah, I hear you.
And welcome to a new life.
This audio advice is going to
get your life moving, which
is exactly what we want,
because as my boy Isaac says,
a body in motion
stays in motion.
And that dude was smart.
Just remember, throughout
this whole experience,
you will never be alone.
I'll be here--
Where you at?
--Vibrating your ear canals,
talking you right through it.
Uh, talking you
right through it.
It's good, right?
Yeah.
OK.
Let's get started.
First, I want you to
take a deep breath.
Yeah, just like that.
Nice and easy.
Second, take in
your surroundings.
Look around.
What do you see?
Maybe a duck crossing
through a lily pad.
And third, I want
you to get ready--
Here we go!
Here we go!
--For the Ranger.
Progress!
Oh, daddy.
Well, that was surprising.
And that's life.
It's always surprising.
And it's always changing.
And we have to go with it.
So now that I've got your
heart rate up, let's get--
This isn't going to be easy.
Life that's a full-time
job, and I'm here for you.
Just think of me
as your shepherd,
and I will guide you to
where the grass is greener.
You psyched?
God, I'm psyched, and
I hope you are too.
Chapter one.
Life is like treading
water fully clothed.
Oh god.
God, he's back.
No, no, no.
Stay down.
Those things will
kill you, you know.
What?
Life coaches?
Yeah, sure.
Smoke?
No, probably shouldn't.
Suit yourself.
Thank you, by the way,
for the mouth to mouth.
Yes.
Don't worry about it.
It's what I do.
Much appreciated.
So you're the nurse?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think your dad
wanted somebody around
to keep you alive
through the weekend.
Well, I mean, you did hire the
world's most charismatic hit
man, so jury's out
on that one still.
I will do my best
to keep you around.
Oh, well, I'm glad someone is.
Your dad didn't seem
like such a bad guy.
Just wait till he doesn't
have a use for you.
For example, Mom
was in rough shape.
And the doctors said
that it was our call,
said that there wasn't
much of a chance.
But you know, the machines
would keep her going,
as long as we had hope, as
long as we wanted to hold out.
But it took him just a
couple moments to decide.
Ouch.
I just-- I wanted to be
part of the decision.
But now I'm not a
part of anything.
I'm sorry.
I heard all that queued
up for Dr. Allen.
Felt like I was ready
just to come out.
It just didn't
happen today, so--
and here I am, spewing my guts.
It's OK.
I don't even know your name.
Oh, Kelly.
Kelly.
Pete.
Pete.
Pete, it's a pleasure.
That could've
happened to anybody.
Yeah, but like, I--
I don't think that the approach,
just throwing him in the water,
is the best way.
OK.
But I can make this work if
some kind of mutual respect,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
So if you're looking to--
Yeah.
--You know--
Yeah.
--Do something with me--
OK, well, we agree
that we can't let
this mishap weaken our stance.
Well, in essence, we're
saying exactly the same thing.
Theoretically.
But practically, we could
not be further apart.
Well, we agree we
have to stay firm.
Yes.
But it's such a vague term.
OK.
Why don't you tell me your
little plan step by step,
and I'll see if it gels
with my philosophy?
Don't patronize me.
I'm not.
I'm simply listening
to your argument
and trying to strengthen
the specificity of how
we're going to attack this,
which is what you said,
remember?
You said that that
was the problem.
You said that.
I need a drink.
'93 DRC.
Don't mind if I do.
No.
No thanks.
I don't think you understand.
That's really cute.
You can't buy a bottle
of this under $8,000.
This is the creme de la creme.
I don't care.
Can you please cut it out with
this pissing contest bullshit?
Please?
OK?
Let me make one
goddamn decision.
This is what we're having.
No, this is what we're having.
What the hell is that?
It's crap.
It's a cheap domestic.
They probably cook with that.
Full bodied, from California.
Musky aromas, fairly
rough undertones,
with an explosive finish.
This is what I want
to drink all weekend.
I'll get the corkscrew.
Hello?
Yeah.
Yeah, how are you?
Good.
No.
No, no, no.
I told you, that just a notice.
No.
Yeah, I know what it says,
but it's not going to happen.
It's just bank stuff
they're talking about.
I didn't say anything because
I've got it taken care--
you know I don't like it
when you call me that.
I'm working my ass--
I'm not going to
let anything happen.
They can't even come
in and take anything
until the first of the month.
Why don't you just
trust me for something?
I'm looking at the
papers right now.
I've got them right here.
Everything's perfectly in order.
Oh.
I got to get back to work.
Hey.
Hey.
Sorry.
I couldn't help
but hearing the--
It's nothing.
Don't worry about it.
Nice.
Well, I just remembered that I
left some stuff in the garage.
Do you smoke?
What kind of stuff?
Oh, just pot.
Just-- how fucked up
do you think I am, man?
It's just--
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, what about
Quinn and Greg?
Oh.
No, they're not coming.
No, it's just you and me.
Cool kids, right?
I really don't know
that it's working.
Yeah.
It's like not hot, right?
Used to way hotter.
You look pretty sweaty.
I perspire easily, so--
Hmm.
Is this a little warm
for the, Gregster?
No.
Not at all.
It's just the walls, you know?
They're like more compressed
than they are in LA.
I do this all the
time with, uh--
Mm.
I hate name dropping.
It feels so gross, you know?
Mm.
Agreed.
When you're hanging out
with the king of the world--
it's tempting.
It's DiCaprio
You say it like that.
It made me think that--
Sometimes I hear Greg Ranger--
sort of sounds
like Hermie-onie--
Hermie-onie--
--Granger.
Greg Ranger, Hermione Granger.
Yeah, I guess so.
It's kind of like, if
she was like a DJ, that
would be her last name.
What?
You know?
How do you mean?
You know what it would be like?
It would be like,
all right, let's
welcome to the world's best DJ,
Hermione Greg
Ranger in the house.
Wait, what's-- is she
wearing squishy shoes?
Where she goes,
squish, squish, squish.
Those are records.
You should know that, old man.
Come on.
Get it together.
Yeah it was like--
something like that.
I don't know what that is.
Here, it'll
make more sense in a minute.
My kids love Harry Potter.
That's-- What's it
like to have kids?
They're actually
not my kids, they're
my wife's from her last husband.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but they feel
like it's your kids?
No.
No?
No, I just say that.
I say my kids so I don't have
to explain it to everybody.
Yeah.
The oldest one hates
me, I swear to God.
I think he's trying
to poison me.
What?
Evidently, his grandma was
turning him on to some Murder,
She Wrote.
Next morning the kid brings
me tea for breakfast.
Oh, that's not good.
I don't drink tea.
I know you don't.
That's not good.
The crazy thing?
I drink it every morning.
That's some dark shit, my man.
What was it like when
you almost died today?
It wasn't too bad, it was pretty
chill, actually, you know.
I think dying gets a bad rap.
It was like a--
it was like having a good sleep.
Pretty good.
That's great.
Yeah, I guess it is.
Let's be stealth here.
Shh.
I'm trying to be quiet.
You're like a freaking
Clydesdale back there.
You being stealth or what?
I'm too high.
Hey, guys.
How are you doing?
Just working out, doing
cardio, getting electrolytes.
Great, good talk.
I'll see you guys
tomorrow, yeah?
Have a good night,
Pistol, tomorrow morning.
You don't hit that
snooze, right?
Metaphor for life, my man.
Don't snooze.
Just a second while
I fix my whole life.
Oh, hello Quinn.
How are you today?
I'm good.
Nice to meet you, I
really hope to know your mind.
What an awkward day, am I
an alien or are people just
really unkind?
Here comes, radio
through my door.
I should really be downtown.
Here comes a lion
with her silent roar,
I should really go downtown.
I'm simple as--
Wow, you're early.
You look different.
Yeah, it's from high school.
I guess I've grown
a little bit, but--
What's that?
I dropped one of dad's models.
Why don't you sit down?
OK, look.
I've got to come clean.
I didn't--
You didn't read my book.
No, no, I didn't drop the model.
I fucked it up, and
it felt pretty good.
Don't change the topic.
I didn't, I brought
up the topic.
That you didn't read my book.
No, the car.
Well, did you read the book?
Jesus Christ, I
didn't read your book.
OK, stop asking that question.
I just-- I even, I went
and smoked to try to focus.
And it just, it didn't--
What exactly did you smoke?
Just pot.
Relax.
Do you want to go do your little
reset thing in the corner?
Get out.
Can we talk this through?
Is that--
I don't know, did
you read my book?
What is the point of you
being here if I'm reading
this goddamn book all weekend?
Get out.
Is that him?
Mr. Michael Phelps?
Come on, brother.
Let's do it.
Go away, Greg.
I'm reading.
Come on, brother.
We talked about this.
Greg, go away.
Pistol, your tone
right now, it's not
really jiving with how I work.
Yeah, well when you
take that grievance
and shove it up your ass, OK?
Because I need to
focus right now.
So I can't have
you all up in here.
Watch your tongue, boy.
There's a line, and you're
starting to cross it.
Or what?
You're not going to grace me
with your audio knowledge?
Tell me, what what's
the whimsical simile
of the title of chapter two?
You want to know,
because tell you.
Let me guess, let me guess.
It's helpful.
Life is like-- what?
Running til you puke.
You're upset, I understand.
Run until you puke.
You're upset.
OK, here's what it is.
It's, life is like--
Pistol--
Getting trapped in a tanning
bed, because I've seen
you've taken that to heart.
This is good for you.
That's really something
that you've run with.
Lets put something in the sack.
Oh, oh, life is like sticking
your head in a beehive.
Yeah, that sounds
like something that
would spew out of your mouth.
You know why?
Because you've gotta
get stung before you
get the sweetness of life.
No?
Any of those?
None of those.
None of those?
Not a single one, no.
That's great, so
I just gave you--
I've got way more than that.
--A bunch of inspiration
for the next piece of shit--
I make sense when I talk.
Pistol, I fix things--
--that yo're going to put
out and call helpful I
I swear to God, I will
break something right now.
So here's what
we're going to do.
You're going to
go up, and you're
going to run on your little
fucking hamster wheel,
and use that big
baritone voice of yours--
Namaste.
Record--
Namaste, Greg.
--The next best seller.
And what I'm going to do is
I'm going to take this book,
and I'm going to read it.
OK?
All right.
OK.
That's good.
Good talk?
Mother-- I swear.
I swear, can you talk
to that little punk?
Because I swear to
God, I didn't go
to Krav Maga for three years.
Not to to kick some ass!
I'll take care of this.
Kelly!
You, come here.
I was trying to read.
Are you kidding?
Oh.
Kelly!
What am I supposed to be doing?
Kelly?
What's up, team?
I'm putting Pete
downstairs until Greg
and I figure out
what to do with him.
So what am I supposed to do?
Stay down with him, don't
let him leave, and make
sure he doesn't get high.
Why would you tell them
about you getting high?
It was just pot, I saw six empty
wine bottles from last night.
I didn't think it would
be such a big deal.
You didn't say anything about--
No, I didn't.
Hey, you want to play pool?
No, I don't really play.
You don't play?
What do you mean?
You've got a pool table
right here in your basement.
Come on, I'll kick your ass.
All right, OK.
Rack them up.
This is what we're going to do.
I'm going to work
him until he pukes.
I understand why you
want to do that--
He needs to fall in love
with the pain of hard labor.
--I just don't think it's
going to work on him.
That's what he needs.
I think he needs to sit in
the corner for three hours--
What the hell is he going
to learn from a corner?
He's a type C personality.
All types bleed, every
single one of them.
This is what I'm talking about.
You can't just
discredit a generation--
Sh.
Oh, don't shush me.
Nobody shushes me.
You don't stop talking.
I can't even get a word in.
It's not a conversation.
It's not-- I'm literally
just getting talked at.
So what I don't
understand is if something
works 100 % of the time--
100 %-- That may have
worked on your clients,
but this is a
different situation.
Why won't you let me just
show you how it works?
This is a different situation.
Well, we have to do something.
I don't know why I thought
I was good at this game.
That is a mystery.
That's 10 in a row, just
stop the bleeding already.
You want to quit?
That was fun, I enjoy
winning every time.
I hope they're not as
angry as they sound.
Trust me, they're in a much
better mood than you think.
I hope so.
Yesterday they were in good
mood, and I almost died.
I do feel bad he almost died.
Yes, that would have
been a mess if he
had kicked it on the first day.
What kind of kid doesn't
have the ability to swim?
He owns a lake house.
That's not on me.
It's such a loaded question, I
don't have time to get into it.
It's more of a
rhetorical question.
What chakra is this, because
I'm really feeling it.
I guess I was just really read.
I don't like-- really
red, really sweaty, here--
kind of whistling, like
wheezing kind of thing.
That's really creepy.
You were just sitting
there naked in the corner?
Yeah, yeah.
And poor Martha.
Who's Martha?
She's been our
cleaning lady forever,
and she is the
sweetest person I know.
I can't imagine.
It I just felt so
bad, because I guess
when I was doing
that, it reminded her
of this terrifying urban legend
that she'd got told as a child.
This guy who kills
children at night,
so it really shook her up.
She thought you
were coming for her?
Yeah.
That had to shake her
up, can you imagine?
Thank God it was just LSD.
What do you mean?
Because you can't die
from an overdose of LSD.
You might mess
your head up, but--
Right, yeah.
Good thing.
You didn't know that, did you?
Yeah, yeah.
I just got confused with--
Right.
I just uh-- -- remembering all
the horrific losses you had
here.
I'm thinking about Martha
looking at you naked.
Oh my goodness.
I bet you she's thinking about
that too, you know what I mean?
Oh, we can figure something out.
Agreed.
If we stay up here
much longer they
may think something's
going on with us.
No, they won't.
They don't have a clue.
What makes you say that?
I saw the in the kitchen
last night, and they saw me.
When?
Remember when I cramped
and had to go replenish?
Ooh, that must've been 2 a.m.
I them him I was doing cardio,
they totally bought it.
I don't do cardio.
Did Kelly seem off at all?
He was just a little
more quiet than usual.
Don't worry about it,
they don't have a clue.
Elaborate, please.
Stop being so vague.
OK, let's see.
Small bead of perspiration was
forming above my right eyebrow
and the light from the
fridge was hitting thy leg.
Stop.
This is serious.
Is there anything else
of use you can tell me?
I don't know.
I don't know.
OK.
They looked like two
deer in the headlights.
That's it.
You come back, you can
recycle, you come back again.
Reincarnation.
Oh, all right, well, OK, so
if that's what you believe in.
Yeah.
What you come back as?
I come back as a bald
eagle, can't you see it?
Well, that's quick.
Gives me a chance
to shit on everyone.
Can I see you two, please?
The verdict's in.
She said please.
So first of all, I think
you owe Greg a big apology.
Yeah, yeah I probably do.
Where is he?
Upstairs in his room.
Roger that.
Actually, can I talk
to you for a second?
Sure.
It's a little bit sensitive,
maybe we could talk in here?
OK.
Great.
This is a weird little room.
Take a seat.
OK.
What's up?
So I wanted to speak with you
as a fellow medical practitioner
and get your advice.
OK.
Lately I've been having
really overwhelming anxiety,
and I was wondering what you
think I should treat it with?
Let's touch,
come on, bring it in.
We don't--
Come on, meet me the middle I
can't stay mad at you, Pistol.
Oh, I like you too much.
Yes, oh God, it feels good.
I hate that, you know,
on the shoulders.
I'm glad this worked out.
Yeah, yeah, me too.
Feels like we should celebrate
or something, you know?
What
Sort of thing were you thinking?
Something to really let go.
To just like get
me out of my head.
Meditation, maybe?
I tried that.
I don't know, I feel like
it's kind of like a peace pipe
moment or something.
I don't know, peace pipe?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't care.
I'm down if you are.
What do you mean?
Do you smoke pot, Kelly?
No.
Maybe a little bit of that, uh,
sheeba you and Kelly smoked
last night.
No, yeah, that was me.
It was?
And I finished it, so--
You and him?
No, just by myself.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Truthfully, my wife
doesn't let me do anything.
She's pretty much just
sucked the life out of me.
Between you and me,
I lay there at night,
I just think, what if I--
Oh no, sorry, I just
really want to hear,
but I really have to
go to the bathroom.
Can we put this on
hold for just a second?
Yeah.
OK.
Let me, you know, let me
run the final credits, OK?
Yeah.
I close the curtain.
Do we have to--
Let me show you something.
You loose?
Huh?
No, I'm not.
No.
Loosen up, you open?
I'm open.
Is the door open?
Progress.
You feel that?
Yeah, I felt it.
Sh, listen, listen.
I can feel you being resistant.
Yeah.
It's aggravating me, it's
throwing off my progress.
Hi.
Oh, there she is.
We're just patching some things
up, On the ol' trouble train.
Mm-hmm.
How's things going on there?
Not great.
Kelly just admitted to getting
high with you last night.
What?
And he has to go.
I can' believe he would
do that to you, Pete.
It's to be expected.
It's awful, makes sense though.
Pure sabotage.
Knew you wouldn't do that
on your own accord, bud.
I cannot believe you two.
Kelly, I didn't say anything.
Don't believe a word they say.
Enough.
Pete, everything's
going to be fine.
Just give us a second
to figure this out.
I'll be out here.
So Pete was just
telling us about--
Let's just stop the games, OK?
What do you want to know?
Well, my colleague
and I think perhaps
you maybe procured some--
Did you smoke pot with Pete?
Yes.
Anything else?
No, that's pretty
much the whole thing.
We're good at this.
You do realize we're going
to have to report this?
Report it?
Yeah, you're going to have to
pack up your bags early, bud.
No.
No?
No.
What do you mean no?
I think it's pretty clear.
No.
No.
Yeah, I don't think you have
a whole lot to say in this.
I know you don't have
a lot of say in this.
You're going home.
Nope.
Let's go to my
office, make the call.
If you make the
call, then I'm going
to have to make
a call of my own.
Look, I was going
to tell them myself
about the swimming thing.
The Ranger Tough program
is extremely rigorous,
and Peter has a fragile
frame, his father knows that.
It's not about you practically
killing him the first day.
I'm referring to the
fact that the two of you
have been going at it like
rabbits since we got here.
Rabbits?
Sex.
Oh.
No, no, that's, no.
That didn't happen.
At all, prove it.
Sorry.
OK, look.
No calls need to be made.
Let's just keep this between
us three professionals
and get through the next
day as painless as possible.
All right?
Agreed.
Great.
No more lighting
the menorah, shalom?
Sleep tight, you two.
I'm ready to go to war.
No, it's OK.
Everything's fine.
Really?
Just go to bed, I'll
see you in the morning.
Hi, I'm sorry to
bother you so late.
I know it's extremely late.
I felt that I needed to call.
I just thought it was my
duty to call and report
a major ethical infraction.
Hello?
Hi, I'm just calling
to inform you
that due to a breach
in the business
ethics code of your
contract, your services--
Dad?
Pete?
Dad?
Is that you?
Whoops, sorry, wrong number.
Hello?
Kelly?
Yeah?
OK, great.
I'm just calling to inform
you that due to a breach
in the business ethics
code of contract,
your services will
no longer be needed.
You know what, whatever.
You know what, this was a
sinking ship from the start,
and we both know what that
means for the captain.
Anyway, when did
you get me out here?
Well, you'll have to
find your own flights now
that the contract is void.
Hello?
Hey, this is the Gregster.
I'm so glad you're up, awesome.
Listen, I need to get
on the earliest flight
out here tomorrow.
Change of plans.
What did he tell you?
Well, that I am not
at liberty to discuss.
But it will remain confidential?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Will I still get paid
for the first two days?
No.
I really need this money.
Is there anything that I can do?
Unfortunately not.
Safe travels, and
have a good night.
To getting fired.
In the name of love.
Oh, a little respect please.
For the wine, I mean.
It's expensive.
I mean, it's cool, it's fine.
Saw a few more
bottles downstairs.
Saw a lot of bottles downstairs.
Hmm.
You know, you should
come out west.
You'd love it.
You'd kill it out there.
I do sometimes for work.
I don't mean for work, I
mean come hang out with me.
What, for the
weekend or something?
No, as long as you want.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Or I could come to New York.
I mean, it could happen.
That'd be nice.
Great, I'll change my flight.
What?
Hi, yes, it's Greg.
Can I change my flight?
Yes, again.
Well uh, to New York this time.
Early in the morning, and--
hold on one second.
What seat are you, I
actually can get us
right next to each other.
Stop!
No, stop!
This guy's incredible.
Stop!
What?
Please, can we just pump
the brakes for a second?
We can talk about this
maybe in the spring?
I need to, like--
Spring?
--Think about it.
I'm sorry, hold on.
The spring--
You can't just
change your flight.
That's forever.
This is a passionate affair.
This isn't Lasik.
It's time to go to war.
Can you hear him?
He's crazy right?
Did I say fertile?
Did I say fertile?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hi.
The connection's
really in and out here,
I think you're saying aisle.
But what is your
seat preference?
Window.
If we do it, I'm just
saying, argument's not over.
Neither!
Ugh.
Send him to Kathmandu!
What I wanted to ask, was--
this is tough.
Will you just stop fooling
around with that thing,
put it down?
And just tell me your plan.
I was thinking I
could shoot you,
then turned the gun on myself.
Please tell me
that's not your plan.
We could switch it around,
you could be the shooter.
Great, just when I thought
it wasn't going to work.
You flip it, and then
it makes perfect sense.
I'm so stupid.
I don't know why I
every thought it--
It's not stupid.
I think this is
a big decision, I
think we need to--
this is a little rash.
It's not rash!
It's not an impulse, Pete.
I have researched this plan
for longer than anything
I can remember.
I had a birthday last week.
Happy belated.
Thank you.
I went out onto the Facebook to
respond to all those bullshit
messages that you
get on your birthday.
You know what happened?
No messages.
No, there were
plenty of messages.
People I don't even know.
But there were these two ads.
Two ads, there's
one about a book,
the tallest bridges
in the world.
And the second one
was about where
to get a straight razor shave.
Don't you see?
My computer knew me, my
intentions, my interests.
It's the only thing that's
ever really understood me
as long as I can remember.
And then this
weekend came up, it
was a pile of money,
a glimmer of hope.
I thought maybe if I don't lose
the house, my wife will stay.
Maybe those kids will like
me someday, after puberty.
Maybe it's just the tension of
this whole foreclosure that's
sending me down this wrong path.
And then it hits me.
This weekend is about
meeting you, making a friend
and finding a companion that
can go with me on this next step
in our journey.
Let's make a fresh start.
Please.
I wish I knew what to say.
Could the fresh start
to happen without this?
I have enough pills
for both of us.
No, none of that.
You don't want to go with me.
Would you be up for
talking to someone?
Someone who knows
what they're doing.
What do you say?
Maybe we can work this out?
Go get her.
Go get her.
Hey, would you let
me get a sip of that?
Yeah, go ahead.
How long is this
fucking driveway?
Hey dark
eyes, rest with me
a while as I drift
closer to sleep.
But still cannot, still
cannot find no peace.
And you let go of
glass, at our feet.
It rained through the night.
And you take the fire, escape.
Run down the street
to the church.
Hey, murderer, the killing
keeps us close enough.
Hey murderer, every
breath you steal
is a breath that
I breathe for you.
Let go of glass, at our feet.
It rained through the night.
You let go of
glass, at our feet.
It rained through the night, and
you take the fire, escape run
down the street to the church.
Oh, hey.
Couldn't sleep?
Oh, ready to leave.
Fair enough.
Morning.
Hey, making breakfast.
You want some?
Yeah.
Thank you, I'm starving.
Coffee?
Tea.
Could you hand me the eggs?
So were you just outside
running all night?
Pretty much, yeah.
Pretty amazing.
I don't understand how you
could so something like that.
Oh--
There's more.
There's more where
they came from.
Here you go, see?
I'm fine.
Who wants toast?
No matter what
life throws at you.
And I think that's
something that's
really going to come back and
help me out in the long run.
What do you think, Greg?
I think that's great, Pete.
Why don't you get me some milk?
There's not a whole lot
of this left, Pistol.
That's OK, I'd rather have
a bit than none at all.
OK.
You think he's going to eat?
Was that a suitcase?
You OK?
You know it helped
me last night?
This.
Guilt only functions as
a tool to pick scabs.
You read my book.
So I guess the question
I've got for you,
is are you a scab picker?
Excuse me?
Are you a dirty
little scab picker?
Yeah.
OK, so what's your plan?
This is happening whether
you like it or not,
you little bitch.
All right, so you better
fucking smarten up.
So that's a little creepier
than I thought, but it's just
From that
dream, eyes awakened
through the dark the
day slowly breaking.
Climbing light Is scattered
with the words I wish to moan.
My hands are cold.
My heart is aching.
So lay me down--
Good morning, you can
just sit anywhere.
But just so you know,
we're closing real quick.
Oh, it's fine.
I already know what I want.
Could I do an egg white omelette
with tomato, spinach, peppers--
Y'all ain't from
around here, are you?
No, no we're not.
No, just visiting.
Oh, visiting, that's great.
I could ask Corey to whip
up or visitor's special,
and make sure that--
That sounds amazing.
Let's do that.
Great, that just made
my life so much easier.
OK, Corey did you hear that?
Gravy, and your waffle.
Wow.
What are you two getting into?
Excuse me?
What plans do you have
for your stay here?
Oh.
You should take her out fishing.
No fishing.
Marv.
Take her peach picking.
Marv, doesn't Carl
still have those tanks?
You say tanks?
Yep, you can drive them
over cars and junk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's-- can we do that?
Is there a number I can call or?
Nope, but you'll be in church.
Good morning, everybody.
Good morning.
What a beautiful day it is.
Are you supposed
God bless you, back?
I don't think they mind.
Yeah, it's so nice here, right?
It's really nice.
Hey, sorry.
Yeah, hey.
How you doing?
All good?
Yeah.
Peace be with you.
Yeah.
Peace be with you.
Peace be with me, yeah.
Sorry, my uncle said that
you wanted to talk with me?
Are you the tank man?
You want crush something?
Yes, I do.
All right.
Yes.
I like his enthusiasm.
OK yeah, let's do it.
Let's get to it, all right.
Why don't you all
give me a minute.
I just want to change
out my church clothes.
Get to crushing.
I'm a bad, bad
man, don't you understand?
I'm a bad, bad man,
best you turn and ran.
Whoa.
All my life I've
been kicked around.
Nobody breaks me, they
can't keep me down.
I'm a bad, bad man.
I'm a bad man.
And I pour your misfortune
and hold it in your hand.
Sorry.
I don't feel pain right now.
I really don't.
That look like it hurt son?
Oh, no, no, no.
How was the ride?
What you think?
It was-- Yeah.
You see that right there?
Nothing makes me happier
than a speechless customer.
I find that after
people's first time
they tend to enjoy a cold one.
Oh, yeah.
Not me, I prefer them warm.
You can drink it faster.
All right, OK.
Oh, tank man, we must've been
soulmates in another life,
because this is such
a beautiful thing.
It really was.
I really appreciate it.
My name is Carl.
It's Carl.
I know, it's Carl.
And secondly, the Lord
only gives you one go.
I love that.
I love that.
That's great isn't it?
Damn, she likes to drink?
Oh.
The drum beats on.
OK, I guess we're leaving.
Thanks my man.
Adios.
Thank you.
We should've probably
put the top up.
Truthfully.
I like it.
Huh?
I like it.
Oh, it's beautiful.
It's really nice.
I love it.
My hair is all over the place.
I was complaining about
not going in the lake,
this is my version.
This is it.
This is it.
Oh, my God.
I couldn't sleep.
Yeah, well, this thing
is pretty good, actually.
You don't think it's bullshit?
Don't you dare
question Quinn Allen.
She's one of the smartest, if
not the smartest person I know.
Read me something.
OK, how about this.
One of my best ways-- it's
so weird reading this to you.
I don't know why, but--
one of my favorite
ways to relax is
to sit in crosslegged
pattern for three days.
Three days?
You should've see--
You're crazy, woman.
Hi.
Oh, man.
Believe it, I'm hungry again.
Me too.
Want to grab some food?
Yeah.
Call a driver so we
can get fucked up.
All right, OK Yeah.
Hey, could you come pick me up?
Just as soon as
you can get here.
Oh hey, could you
get some flowers?
I'm not sure.
Is it the biggest and prettiest?
Awesome, thank you.
All right, come on Greg.
Come on Greg.
Come on, Dougie.
Get some work done.
Get some work done, yeah baby.
Salamat po!
Greg Ranger is in my car!
Thank you, Dougie.
Let's go baby.
Yeah, go get some.
Yeah.
Greg?
Quinn.
You're back?
I've been looking for you.
How did you know I was here?
I'll save that one
for our grandkids.
Excuse me?
No.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Pistol, nice, I'm so glad
you're here for this.
Quinn.
I already said no.
Just let me say this.
OK?
Quinn, where do I start?
Oh shoot, sorry, just
forgot this one thing.
Real quick.
Start with the music, right?
Quinn,
where do I start?
Jesus.
Pistol what's with the Wi-Fi
here dude, it's killing me.
What, you're
streaming the music?
Can you restart it, please?
I don't think you've
thought this through.
Dude, just, all right, fuck it.
Just hold this.
Fuck it, I don't need it.
Quinn, where do I start.
A confession I guess.
I have always had this gnawing
self-perception, an idea
that made me hate myself.
An assumption that
no matter the person
or whatever the situation, I
could never sacrifice myself
for someone else.
Before last night
I knew I liked you.
I liked your fight.
I liked you strong
sense of self.
I liked the way we,
you know, have sex.
We have sex.
But it wasn't until last
night, last night when
every fiber of my body
told me without hesitation
to take a bullet for you
that I realized, I love you.
All this confusion.
All this infatuation.
Everything in my head is
spinning over and over.
You make me a person.
I'm sorry this is all too much.
I know, no I know.
I realized that when I tried
to move into your apartment.
We've known each
other for two days.
It would be madness
for you would
want to commit your life to me.
It's crazy.
It's nuts, but last night I
ran until my feet were raw.
I mean, I was just trying
to figure this thing all out
and it wasn't until
Pistol said something.
Until Pistol said
something this morning
that made me think
everything was crystal clear.
Quinn, I'd rather have a
little bit than nothing at all.
What?
What I want this
ring to symbolize--
what I want this--
Pistol, Pistol, give
me the fucking--
Get your head in
the game, wake up.
What I want this
ring to symbolize
is that I'm ready to
commit my life to you.
And I'm willing to take
anything that you're
going to give to me.
Because I'd rather have a
little bit than nothing at all.
So tonight, Quinn, I'm
going to start small.
Will you be my
fiancée for a night?
Just for a night?
Let me spend the rest of my life
convincing you, hour by hour,
minute by minute, second
by second, that, baby--
baby, we belong
together, you and me.
OK.
Yes!
Whoo!
That's what I'm talking about!
Best man written
all over this guy!
Am I right?
Come on, hurry up.
We gotta go get Doug,
he's in the car.
Um, who's Doug?
Douggie?
Oh, dude, you're
gonna love this guy.
He's fucking hysterical.
He cracks me up.
It's sick.
Oh my god, I love this sweater.
It's a great sweater.
Whoo!
Enough of
me, I'm into you.
And we've been
talking all night.
My lips are sealed,
I said a ton--
Yeah, I'm sorry, sir.
There's nothing
available until 6:00 a.m.
Would you like me to book it?
Ah, just pour me
something strong.
Well, we just did last call.
The coffee's
cold, the silver's old.
Sir?
I think your flight is boarding.
You stare at me.
You say a ton, but the
words don't fit right.
You oughta know that we'd
wait out in the sun, darling.
Hey.
Where's my goddamn Tupperware?
Hey, come on in.
I got some goulash on the stove.
All right.
Into the
dark we will go.
Your cold green eyes
are giving me nothing.
I can chew.
And you can scream
your heart out 'cause
it's everything you do.
Girl, you know you do it too.
You oughta know that we'd
wait out in the sun, darling.
Oh, you got a heart that
couldn't waste anymore.
You oughta know that
you are so cold.
Into the dark we will go.