The Wedding Year (2019) - full transcript

♪ ♪

♪ Oh no, now what've I done ♪

♪ Do I even really care? ♪

♪ Oh no, I think
I'll do it again ♪

♪ You can chase me if
you dare Ooh hoo ♪

♪ Ooh yeah, the sun on me ♪

♪ Hotter than a
pepper sprout ♪

♪ I got nothing in the
world that's bothering me ♪

♪ And nothing's gonna
change that now ♪

♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪



♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪

♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪

♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪

♪ See what kinda
trouble ♪

♪ See what
kinda trouble ♪

♪ See what kinda
trouble I can get ♪

♪ Kinda trouble
kinda trouble ♪

♪ See what kinda
trouble I can get ♪

♪ Ooh ha I don't wanna grow up
don't wanna make my bed ♪

♪ Ooh ha I'm living it up see
what kinda trouble I can get ♪

♪ Ooh hoo ♪



♪ Ooh ha, gonna
take it outside ♪

♪ In the yard where
the garden grows ♪

♪ Ooh ha, think I lost my mind
I don't care if it shows ♪

♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪

♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪
[Mara] Ooh!

♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪
[Mara] Shit!

[car alarm honks]

[humming]

[clunk] Shit!

Whatever!

[camera clicks]

[car honks]

♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪

♪ Gonna get in the weeds,
get dirty, make a mess ♪

♪ Say yes, say yes, say yes. ♪

♪ See what kinda
trouble ♪

♪ See what
kinda trouble ♪

[coughs]

Ooh!

♪ See what kinda
trouble I can get ♪

♪ See what kinda
trouble ♪

♪ See what
kinda trouble ♪

♪ See what kinda
trouble I can get ♪

♪ Kinda trouble
kinda trouble ♪

Mmm.

[Mara] Oh, my God!
This is amazing!

Look at this stuff.

Ooh! Yes, please.

Morning.

[Ellie] Morning!

Mara, you finding
everything alright?

Oh, hey, Ellie!

Um, do you happen to
have, like, a red belt?

Ooh, I don't know.
Let me check.

By the way, you're late again.

I gotta gear up!

No way!
You know the rules.

Nothing over a $100.

Remember when you got
guacamole all over that

beautiful Saint Laurent?

It washed off!

Kinda.

[gasps] Mara!
What are you doing?

Oh, stop.

You gotta wear the expensive
shit to sell the expensive shit.

Did you do your
make-up high again?

Ellie, I'm not a degenerate.

I did my make-up
and then I got high.

Well, you need to get your shit
together because there's a girl

who wants to try on something
from the bridal section.

Oh, no, don't make
me go over there.

I know. It's torture and
it sucks your soul out.

But that's where the money is.

So, go make some.

And smile.

Smiling!

[Grandma] Absolutely not.
She looks like a hippie.

Like she's getting
married in a barn.

[Sister] Grandma,
that's the point.

She is getting
married in a barn.

Let's go back to Vera Wang.

This thrift shop is
giving me shingles.

[Kelly] It wasn't on your list,
- Thrift shop? Ugh!

- But I came in here last week
and I found this, and I love it.

[Mother] Well, ivory
is just very modern.

And it's a good deal.

It's a disco onesie.
I won't pay for it.

I'm sorry, did I
hear barn wedding?

Even the sales girl
thinks it's gauche.

Actually, I think
it can be beautiful.

Sounds to me like you're
planning the perfect wedding,

- um...
- Kelly.

I love your
necklace, by the way.

Thank you. Actually it
was my grandmother's.

Well, you have lovely taste.

It's timeless.

That's what you should wear for
your wedding, something you'll

still love in 50 years.

But this outfit is not
quite marriage material.

Kelly, you're a kind
of girl who stands out.

This lace-sleeved jumpsuit?

It's so background dancer.

But this vintage ivory gown.

Uh! I mean...

That is stunning.
How much is it?

Most people set up payment
plans for the pieces in

our elite collection.

This one with the
crushed-diamond inlay?

It's my dream gown.

Let's try her on.

My hairdresser's
step-brother dates one of

Meghan Markle's stylists.

This piece is exactly like
the one Meghan wanted to wear

at the royal wedding.

The queen, though?

Total buzzkill about it.

Oh, honey.
You look beautiful!

Lovely.

Love it.

I need to take a
picture of this.

It's too good not to.

Yeah.

Smile!

[camera clicks]

♪ ♪

[squealing tires]

[sniffs]

Are you, um...

You okay?

[Girl] Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks.

You're sure?
'Cause you don't seem like it.

I just saw my boyfriend hooking
up with another girl outside.

I wanna leave, but he's
sitting by the door,

- and my phone is dead.
- Hey, say no more.

I know a way out the back,
and I will call you a Lyft,

we'll get you out of here.

Mm-hmm. I...
I can't ask you for that.

Yeah, you can.

Girls gotta have each
other's backs, alright?

And you deserve so much more!

Hey, look at it this way.

You found a swan,
you've got your out.

Now you can go be you.

Come on, let's get
you out of here.

Get you in that Lyft.

You never know,
maybe he'll be cute.

Hey, girl!

[Alex] Hi.

Alex Feinberg, what is wrong?

This cute guy just
completely blew me off.

It's fine, it's
nothing, it's fine.

It's fine.
I'm gonna die alone.

I think you need this.

- Thank you.
- A lot.

Look, I keep telling you,

you're never going to meet
someone wearing cargo shorts.

And I keep telling you
that they're functional.

You look like a carpenter.

Trust me.
I work in fashion.

[scoffs] Hardly.

Please. Today I sold a sick
vintage gown to a barn bride.

Do you remember when
my sister got married?

You compared her
wedding to genocide.

If words can kill,
then vows can massacre.

Well, she's happier than ever.

Oh, I forgot to tell you,
she doesn't say hi, by the way.

Oh, she'll warm up
to me, give it time.

Now this, this is something
that I can't get over.

Put on some jeans!

Okay, I don't think you
understand how many things

I can fit. I've got my
wallet and keys, okay?

I can't.

And a beer, which you'll
thank me for later.

I have chap stick and
sunglasses in here some, some...

You're not even listening to me.

[gasps] Oh, I know
what you're doing.

Wait for me.
Wait, wait, wait.

Pre-game or booty call?

Neither. Dinner.

God, you're awful.

Thank you.

No one is gonna buy you
dinner on a first date

at 9:00 at night.

Well, stop being
so cynical, Alex.

I believe that there is a
guy out there somewhere,

- dumb enough...
- Horny enough.

- To buy a girl an expensive meal
the first time he meets her.

Now, help me find him.

Okay, I will swipe for you,
so you don't feel shallow,

even though you are.

You're the best.

- Okay, this one is...
- Hot!

But do we think he'll
actually buy me dinner?

Hmph! No.

Okay.
Okay, into it.

He's a chef.
It's meant to be.

There is an alternative to
dating for food, you know?

And that is?

Dating for love.

Ew. Don't be disgusting.

Let's see.

I will have the balsamic
and mustard-glazed chicken,

and I'll start with
the tuna tartare.

[Waiter] Very good.

[Jake] It's tar-tar.

Whatever.

[Waiter] And for you, sir?

Ah!

Whoa!

Jeez.

Uh, I'll have the side
salad and this bread.

Really great. You can,
uh, keep that coming.

Hm. Yeah.

Had a late lunch.

Mm. Excuse me, uh, before
I settle on the chicken,

talk to me about that special.

It is a bone-in, sixteen-ounce
Wagyu beef ribeye.

Mmmm!

And, uh, it is by far the
best thing on the menu.

Ah! Well, then it's settled.

I'll have the steak!

- Excellent choice.
- Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Hungry, aren't you?

Mm! Mm-hmm.

Um.

Okay. Hold on.

I'm not a celebrity chef.

Okay, I make minimum wage at
the diner down the street.

I make minimum wage, too.

Would you like to
get outta here?

Okay.

Whoo, alright! Great.

I'd like to have my
lights on this month.

- What?
- Nothin'.

Alright.

There you go.

Wow!

Those are some fancy pancakes.

Right?

Yes.

Come to mama.

Mm-mm!

Why is this so good?

Well, I've been making
pancakes since I was six.

Mm.

Grandma told me never
to fear the flavor.

Plus, I just graduated
from culinary school, so.

- Oh, well.
- Yeah.

Where you from?

Virginia.

Moved out here for a girl.

Didn't really work out.

Then why'd you stay?

I wanna bring the south to
Southern California and open

up a restaurant.

What would you call it?

Mara's.

- Smooth.
- Right?

You liked it a little bit.

A little bit.

Thought so.

But until then, cooking
here's fun too.

They let me create a salad.

Ugh! I hate salad.

No, no, no.
You wouldn't if I made it.

It's kinda uncool to hustle
dating apps for food.

It's called using people.

Men use women all the time.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, I don't.

I guess I'll just have
to sleep with you then.

[chuckles]
Am I making you nervous?

[siren approaches]

Do I seem nervous?

[both chuckle]

♪ ♪

No kitchen?

No, but it's cheap.

How much?

Fifteen-hundred a month.

Oh! Good deal.

Right.

Do you have a condom?

Uh, yeah.
Hold on.

Um...

Where is it?

I have one.
I know I have one.

Ah! Uh, okay, I got it.

Organized.
Yeah.

My bad, I was just...

Shh. Just shh.

♪ ♪

[phone rings]

Yeah, I'm sorry, she just
stepped into a meeting.

Yes, I'll go ahead and take
a message and I will have

- her call you back.
- Hello.

Thank you. Bye.

Well, someone is glowing.

Who is this?
Hello!

Mara, meet Charlie.
Charlie, that's Mara.

[Mara] You got another rescue?

Yes, Mara.
Another one.

I do not blame you,
this one seems really sweet.

Alright, fill me in.
How was last night?

It was fine.

He made pancakes.

Oh, he made pancakes?
Yeah, and did you,

did you have these pancakes
last night or this morning?

A lady never tells.

Both.

Oh! Mara Baylor,
you little slut!

Shh!

Hey, Jim.

[Jim] Hey, Alex.

It's good to see you.

Alright, so, what was his flaw?

What do you mean,
what's his flaw?

You know what I mean.

You're always
looking for a flaw.

Well, maybe he doesn't have one.

And who knows, I may
never hear from him again.

So...
[phone chimes]

Don't look at me.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

♪ I can't describe
the feeling, ♪

♪ The fears, the
something that I like ♪

♪ It's so surreal, to be
with you nothing to lose, ♪

♪ So put it on the line ♪

♪ Maybe it's you,
maybe it's me, ♪

♪ Maybe we're all too scared
to recognise a good thing ♪

♪ ♪

Okay, here we go.

Okay.

- And...
- Enjoy.

♪ ♪

♪ Maybe,
maybe it's a good thing ♪

♪ Let's keep it chill ♪

♪ The feeling is real,
all we've got is time ♪

♪ It's understood, ♪

♪ We'll get it wrong
we'll get it right, ♪

♪ We'll wake it up tonight. ♪

♪ Maybe it's you,
maybe it's me ♪

Well, he's got a good ass.

Well, he's got a great ass!

You know what?

To great asses.

Hm.

Look at us.

You're in skinny jeans,
I have a boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Yup.

Wow, look at you.
You're growin' up.

And my jeans are so tight,
I can't feel my legs.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

You know, you should
really show your work.

Mm, I don't know.

I don't think I'm ready
to jump into that just yet.

I think you should jump.

Well, you become an artist the
minute you start showing your

stuff to the world.

I guess.

[phone rings]

[Mara] Hello?
[Jessica] Hey, sis.

Jessica?
Why are you calling me?

Oh, my God, what's wrong?
Who died?

No! What?

Is it that weird
that I'm calling you?

- You're late.
- Sorry.

So no one is dead?

Shut up, I have big news.

I am happy to announce
I'm getting married!

- What?
- I'm getting married!

- To who?
- Brian.

Why are you marrying Brian?

Um, because he asked
me and I love him.

Ugh, last Christmas, Brian
clogged mom's toilet so bad,

even the plumber said he's
never seen anything like it.

Mara, all boys are gross, okay?

Yes, but not all
boys are scary dumb.

Brian thought euthanasia
was a country.

And after the train wreck we
call "mom and dad," why are you

even getting married
in the first place?

Damn it, this is exactly
why I never call you.

Just because mom and dad had a
rough time, doesn't mean that

you and I need to
protect ourselves

by being alone forever.

So you're not at all worried
that Brian won't just up and

leave you one day for his
shrink, and then, you're stuck

with a baby, a
clogged toilet and...

Mara, can you just say
you're happy for me?

[sigh]

I'm happy for you.

I'm getting married!

Hm.

Mara, what the fuck?

My sister's getting married
to clogged-toilet guy.

Oh.
Oh, that's exciting.

Ugh. Whatever.

There you go, Luna.

[phone rings]

Robbie, wassup, man?
I miss you.

[Robbie] I'm on
speakerphone with Violet.

Big news, bro.

Violet and I are getting
married! [Violet screams]

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I knew it.
Congratulations, man!

I'm so happy for you.
You know we all love Violet.

Look at you.

My big brother just getting
married and whatnot.

Oh, you know, I thought
he would never ask.

I was just waiting for the
perfect moment, you know?

Oh, perfect moment.

I made the perfect moment.

Put on some Jagged Edge,
popped a bottle of bubbly.

And then she said:

Marry me, or get out!

And now I'mma be Mrs. Harrison.

[laughs]

Yeah. Oh, shit.

I gotta go, I gotta go, man.
I-I love you, though.

Congratulations.
Give Violet my love.

I'll talk to you later.

♪ ♪

Not going to her wedding.

You gotta be kidding me.

♪ ♪

Why?

Seriously?

Ugh!

[squeals]

[Ellie] Wow! Oh, my God!

♪ ♪

Do you even know
this many people?

Well.

This is insane.

So how many does
this make altogether?

Fourteen.

Fifteen.

Me, fifteen weddings.

Is this karma?

I call it payback.

You know, most of
them are Jake's.

Learn from my mistakes, Alex.

Never date an old guy.

Jake is twenty-nine.

Exactly, he's in
his deep twenties.

If I go to these weddings,
I'm gonna meet everyone.

Jake is going to meet everyone.

Oh!

Yeah. That, that's part of
being in a relationship.

If I go, I'm committing to
being his girlfriend for,

like, a whole year.

And...

Who knows what I'll
be doing in a year?

I could, like, be living
in Austin or Tulum.

You're exhibiting
zero logic right now.

Tulum is a one-week trip, tops.

Mm.

[coughs]

Yeah, you're right.

I have no choice.

I am breaking up
with Jake tonight.

[loud moaning]

Oh, my God!
Jake, yes!

♪ ♪

[toilet flushes]

♪ ♪

[snoring]

Jake?

Jake, wake up, we need to talk.

Jake!

[slap] What? I'm up.

There are way too many
weddings and I'm freaking out.

It's giving me anxiety, and
we need to do something.

It's like the
middle of the night.

Can we do this in the morning?

No, we need to cut some now!

I don't have the money for it!

Traveling, wedding gifts, the
outfits, committing to you for,

- like, a year?
- What?

- What?
- Huh?

- Nothing.
- Uh, okay, yeah.

It's a lot.
It is a lot.

And it gets expensive, but
between your high-school friends

and my college friends,
your sister and my brother,

who do we cut?

Okay, so I thought a lot
about this while I was peeing.

Uh-huh.

And I think that we should
make a drinking game of it.

We go through each wedding, and
if we don't agree on something...

Whoever wants to keep the
wedding has to take a shot.

Exactly.

I'll go get the Vodka.

Alright.

Did you slap me?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

♪ ♪

[Mara] Sara's the shit.

She was in my top eight all
throughout middle school.

I've never even
heard of Sara before.

She's my cousin!

She talked me through
my first period.

In high school, we
threw him in a dumpster.

There was blood everywhere.

And he almost got crushed
by a trash compactor.

And Becca was cool about it!

Dope.

I'll kinda have to go
to Gilman's wedding.

I don't care if it's
his second wedding.

That man taught me how to fish.

We spent all day on the river.

Me, Murphy, Murphy's dad,

Murphy's dad's
special friend Svetlana.

Slevana?

Oh, my God.

He was doing Svetlana.

I actually don't
know who Lauren is.

Maybe she worked in a LA store.

We salt-crusted a
sea bass together!

You guys must've
really connected.

Maybe she was in that
one Yoga class I took.

[laughs]

Maybe I just went
to camp with her.

[gasp] Was Lauren the
girl who got lice?

Oh! Lauren!
She was in my band!

You had a band?

Yeah, I did, until Lauren
joined and then she kicked me

down to background vocals.

Seven weddings in a year.

It's gonna be fun.

Yeah, we'll see.

♪ ♪

What?

I don't know what it
is about a guy in slacks,

but you look super-hot.

Is that right?

Oh, that is right.

Between you and your suit,
me and my side boob, mm!

Yeah.

You look good.

Here.

It may get cold.

Uh, thanks, but no thanks.

Okay.

[Mara] Jake, who's that?

[Jake] Remember the
girl I moved to LA for?

That's Nicole?

That's the girl who dumped you?

Yup.

She's like a supermodel.

Nicole is not a supermodel.

She did cheerlead for the
Broncos for a little bit,

but that's about it.

I need more makeup.

I need my face to be
better than her face.

Nicole doesn't
really wear makeup.

Just a little lip gloss.

That's just her face
and a little gloss?

[Gilman] Yo, Harrison?

- Oh!
- Oh, shit!

- What's up, man?
- What's good, boy?

- How you doin', man?
- Good to see you, man.

Uh, Gilman, my girlfriend, Mara.
Mara, Gilman.

Trash-compactor dude!

Yup! Still got the
scar and everything.

Yo, remember Miller?
With the hair?

Dude's going bald, you
gotta come see it, bro.

It's crazy. It's a joke.
I'mma take him.

- We'll be right back.
- I'll be back, I'm sorry.

Okay.

I'll be fine.

I'll be okay.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Please do not come over here.
Please turn around.

[Nicole] Mara, right?

Uh, hi! You must be Nicole!

- Uh-huh.
- Hi.

Oh, my God, you're adorable!

I mean, I heard Jake
was dating someone younger,

but he really robbed
the cradle, didn't he?

[both chuckle]

Youthful glow.

Not all of us can be so blessed.

But you can't be older
than, uh, what, 32, 33?

I love the jumpsuit.

It's so revealing.

How sweet!

Cool, uh, necklace.

Oh, thanks!

Yeah, Janet got it for me.

Early birthday gifts.

Janet?

Jake's mom.

Oh, we're really close.
He didn't tell you?

Another Scotch, please.

[Bartender]
Maybe you should slow down.

They haven't even passed
out the appetizers yet.

Fucking rehearsal dinners.

Why do people have weddings
before their actual wedding?

And, no, I will not slow
down because I only know

two people here.
My boyfriend, who is currently

at his high-school reunion,
and his ex, who is that.

Damn.

Yeah.

That is exactly why I need
another Scotch, please.

Alright, I got you.
I'll make it a double.

Thank you.

["Le Freak" plays]

That slut!

[Bridesmaid] Are you gonna
let her clown you like that?

Oh, hell, no.

♪ Ah, freak out! ♪

♪ Le freak, c'est chic
Freak out! ♪

♪ Ah, freak out! ♪

♪ Le freak, c'est chic
Freak out! ♪

♪ Ah, freak out! ♪

♪ Le freak, c'est chic ♪

♪ Chic chic ♪

♪ Le freak, c'est chic ♪

♪ Have you heard about
the new dance craze? ♪

♪ Listen to us,
they're doing it night and day ♪

♪ Allow us,
we'll show you the way ♪

♪ Ah, freak out! ♪

♪ Le freak, c'est chic
Freak out! ♪

♪ Ah, freak out! ♪

Are you sure you
don't want any water?

You seem really drunk.

Shh!

Mara, where you've been?
I've been looking for you.

Dance-off, bitch!

Whoa!

Oh, Mara, how much
have you had to drink?

Now!

I'm sorry, you wanna do what?

She's trying to steal your heart
and I'm gonna stop her from

doing that, by dancing.

Okay.

Are you ready to be owned?

I'mma own your ass.

I'm gonna.

You think you can twerk?

Oh, you think you can twerk?

This is how you twerk.

Well, I can twerk better.

I can do the split!

Okay. Alright, mm-hmm.

- Mm. I'm gonna throw up.
- You have to... Okay.

I'm gonna throw up.

There you go.

[vomits]

Oh! Alright, okay, get it out.

There we go. Good job.

Uh-huh.

You alright?

Well, I'm finished.

Okay, let's just go to sleep.

Come on.

Okay. Happy birthday.

Goodnight, y'all.

Wait, where is my camera?
Give me my camera.

Did you steal my camera?

- Can you get her out of here?
- We're just gonna go.

Don't you touch my camera.

Don't you touch my cam.

[woman] You see, that's
the girl from last night.

[Mara] Is everyone
staring at me?

Yup.

Tell me this isn't real.

It sure is.

Oh.

Oh, snap!
Are these eggs Sardou?

Egg so what?

Uh, poached eggs,
artichoke hearts.

- Really?
- Uh.

There's alcohol in that.

Yes.

♪ ♪

[Mara] I love single
people at weddings.

They're only here
for two things.

Free appetizers and
amateur hook-up hour.

That's why they're always the
first ones to storm the raw bar.

Why?

- Duh, aphrodisiacs.
- Champagne?

- Ah!
- Ooh!

- [Man] Thank you.
- Okay, see?

Look.
Look at what he's doing.

He's saying whatever it
takes to get his lips on her-

oyster.

That's gross.

I know.

I love it.
I can't look away.

Well, I'm gonna look away.

Looking away, looking
away, looking...

[clicks]
Oh, there's Alex.

[Mara] Aww.

He found a crush.

That guy?

Mm-hmm.

[camera click]

Well, I think I can
make that happen.

Uh, I don't know if
that's a good idea.

Alex will talk to
him if he wants to.

Come on, I'm trying to win some
points with your best friend.

I don't know, Jake.

Thank you so much.

Jake!

He's cute.

Who's cute?

The guy you've been staring at.

Don't play dumb.

I'm not playing Du...

This is a, this is a beautiful
golf course, by the way.

- Do you golf, Jake?
- I do. You know what?

You should man up and
let me be your wingman.

I don't.

No?

Okay, that's fine.

I'll do it.

No, no! Hah!
Do not engage with Zak.

I am being dead
serious right now.

Like, uh, if there's
a fire, let him burn.

I mean it.

But you already know
his name is Zak?

I...

Mm-hmm. Great.

You would make a really
cute couple, though.

Just saying.

[Zak] So good to see you.

I'll talk, I'll talk to you.

Go on.

I can do this.

Yes, you can.
Go get him, tiger.

[growl]

Oh.

- It's a thing.
- Oh.

I can do this.
I can do this.

But, yes.
I mean, it's cool to see it.

I can't do this.

Nope, can't.
I can't do this.

It's okay.
You'll get him next time.

[Jake] Hey. Zak, right?

Yeah. How you doing?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm here with my
girlfriend and our friend.

I'm gonna kill him.

Alex.

He's got a good ass.

He's got a great ass.

[laughs]

[announcer] We now invite all
guests to take their seats as

the ceremony is about to begin.

Okay, come on.
It's okay, calm down.

Oh.

I got you, man.

You can thank me
at your wedding.

Ow!

I haven't had a titty-twister
since middle school.

Ow!

Guys, stop!

I'm sorry, Mara, but your
boyfriend's being a dick, and

now I'm gonna beat his ass.

Ow!

Like, that's how you
beat someone's ass?

Do men even have
twistable nipples?

Well, it's more in the pinch
than it is in the twist.

- Oh.
- [Zak] Hey, guys.

You havin' a good time?

Yes. Uh, sorry.

Sorry, that was Stu...

I was teaching him
some dance moves.

[Zak] Oh, cool.

Hey, who are you sitting with?

Who I am sitting with?

I'm-Don't-I don't-Nobody.

Uh, well, do you
wanna sit with me?

Y-yeah.

Great.

Great. Cool.

Told you I could do it.

[deep sigh]

Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

[Priest] Now we're reading
from First Corinthians.

"Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous or boastful.

It is not arrogant or rude.
[Mara exhales sharply]

Love does not insist
on its own way.

It is not irritable
or resentful."

God, is it almost over?
It feels like it's been years.

You've only been here
for, like, an hour.

What?

At least we're not standing.

Yeah, you'd think they'd wear
something more comfortable,

being stuck up there and all.

Like, put on some sneakers.

Shh!

How can you even
focus on her shoes?

I can't get past her hair.

It's, it's like a
canary got in there.

Well, I don't know what's in
there, but it is much bigger

than a canary.

Shh.

How do you think we'll
fuck up this wedding?

Well, I think we're
already doing it.

[laughs]

But there's no person in
the world I'd rather fuck up

with than you.

- Chosen to recite
their own vows.

[Brendan] I promise to love you
with a love that's everlasting.

Ripped.

Ripped straight from Google.

You think so?

Oh, yes.

- I respect you
in everything you do.

- Gotcha.
- Not just today...

Not just today, but
for every day forthcoming.

I will love and cherish...
Wow, he didn't even try.

I know.

I can't wait to start
a family with you.

Think they'll make it?

With plagiarized vows?
No way!

And they're way too
touchy-feely with each other.

It's like they're trying
to prove something.

I give them six months, tops.

That's it?

Well, I mean, you got one
month of married bliss.

Obviously.

And then he starts to leave his
underwear on the floor, she

stops shaving her legs, and then
all of that resentment starts to

bubble up and then, boom!

Divorce Central.

You've really thought
about this, huh?

By the power invested in me, I
now pronounce you man and wife.

[Mara] Ugh!

They're really going for it.

Get a room!

[Gary] What did she say?

[Lady] She said,
"Get a room," Gary.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[woman vomits]

[Woman] What the
hell did we eat?

[vomiting continues]

[woman vomits]

[Ellie] At my wedding,
I'm gonna die.

[Mara] Ellie?

[Woman] Why is this happening?

[Ellie] Mara, make it stop.

I can't, honey.

Please.

Oh, God.

At first I thought
that it was cholera,

but it turned to be
those goddamned baby eels

at last night's
rehearsal dinner.

Yeah, that, that
makes more sense.

I'm gonna kill Marcus.

Are you, uh, gonna be okay?

Yeah.

It's nothing a
cocktail can't fix.

[Marcus] Hey, sweetie.

Uh, have you thought
about what I said?

Like, maybe just cancel
the whole reception.

We-are cancelling-

nothing!

And fuck you for choosing
that weird restaurant,

you bougie prick!

Okay.

Love you.

Okay. Okay, like-

Um, all of my bridesmaids,
they got sick too.

So, congratulations, Mara.

You're my new maid of honor.

Me?

Oh, yeah.
Oh, you'll be great, okay?

Just, just make your
speech funny and then sad,

and-and then make it cute.

And then make it sad
again and then hopeful.

Oh god it's coming
out the other way.

I usually like my
tenderloin rare.

Not like tartare rare, but if I
can get a nice price on a good

piece of meat, you
can't really beat that.

I'm not gonna...

You just like cube up the steak,
little parsley, ah, drop of raw

quail yolk on it, just
let it ooze all over it.

[retching]

You think he would mind if
I had some of that fish?

Stop it! Stop it right
now or I will murder you,

- right here in front of everyone.
- Want a bite of the fish?

- Oh, it's time.
- Excuse me, ma'am.

- Okay.
- Here you go.

You're gonna do great.

Shh! Hearing your
voice stresses me out.

Well, thank you.

You're gonna do great!

[clears throat]

Good evening.

My name is Mara Baylor.

It is an honor to be here with
you, celebrating the union of

a very special couple.

Thank you for joining this
remarkable evening of love,

friendship and commitment.

Regrettably, Ellie's sister has
taken ill, so the privilege

of maid of honor has been
passed on to me, Ellie's-

apprentice.

I would now like to
welcome you to the wedding

of Ellie Williams
and Howard Lee.

[gasps] It's Marcus.
It's Marcus Lee.

[smattering of applause]

Oh, my God!
Howard's your ex.

Shit! Fuck! Uh, Marcus.

Uh. Marcus.

I meant Marcus.

I'm so sorry, honey.

So when Ellie and I met, she
needed a salesgirl who didn't

steal the merchandise, and I
had just gotten fired from the

MAC counter for, well,
stealing the merchandise.

God, that was such a
strange time in my life.

I had this roommate
from Craigslist.

Gosh, she was such a bitch.

And this girl, no joke,
kept a snake in her room.

Like, a live, legitimate snake.

And she would deny it.

But, like, I would see her take
mice in there, and they would

never come out, so
you do the math.

Mara, please, focus.

Right, yes.

- Yes.
- Ow!

- Yes.
- Uh.

Ellie and I have such a funny
relationship, it's really,

it's really, really great.

She tells me I spend
too much time on myself.

I tell her she doesn't spend
enough time on herself.

But every day I get her to close
the store a few minutes early.

We go out to the back alley,
smoke a little bit of weed,

talk things-[laughter]

[Ellie] Seriously, Mara, stop.

No, I don't smoke weed.

But, but, this is good.

But the one thing Ellie will
always make time for is Marcus.

I'm so sorry for screwing
up your name earlier.

Seriously, that's on me.
My bad. I really think...

I think we need to, like,
you know, wrap it up.

Yes.

To Ellie and Howard!

Shit! Fuck!
I did it again.

I'm so sorry.

To Ellie and Marcus.

May your love grow each day and
never forget to omita la angula.

[mic drops]

Oh.

It means, skip the eel.

Whoo! Yeah!

You crushed that.

What? Like,
I put people in pain?

No, you were you.
You were perfect.

You always are.

[slow dance music]

We really bring out the best
in each other, don't we?

We really do.

So I was thinking, maybe
we should move in together.

Wow!

What do you think?

Um, well, we are
kinda hemorrhaging

money at the moment.

Romantic.

I think we should do it.

- I was thinkin' tomorrow...
- Just shut up.

♪ ♪

[seagulls]

[roaring engines]

I think those sheets
made me itchy.

Should've stayed
at the nicer hotel.

Seven weddings means we can
never stay at the nice hotel.

No.

Where the hell is our ride?

Should've gone with Lyft.

I mean, it keeps saying that
he'll be here in 10 minutes and

then it's 15 and then
5 and then he's here.

And now he is in the
ocean, 20 minutes away.

[spray can]

Come on.

Let's Bonnie and
Clyde this bitch.

What?

Mara, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no.

- Goddamn it!
- You know how to ride bike?

Alright, okay. Give it to me.
Go, go, go, go.

Okay, alright.
Here we go.

[Kid] Hey!

We'll bring it back, I promise!

♪ ♪

♪ How could I stand a chance ♪

♪ I got a bad case for you now ♪

[Valet] Good evening.

[Jake] Leave it out front.

[Mara] Come on!

♪ ♪

♪ It's the way you
shake your hips ♪

♪ It's the way you
carry yourself ♪

You wouldn't believe
what I just got.

What's that?

So, the bride got an
extra room to change in.

Guess who's sleepin'
there tonight?

- Oh.
- Ooh-ooh! Ow!

Oh, my God, this is beautiful!

Ah!

Rich-people hotel
rooms are the best!

I would like to note that this
is the first wedding that we

handled like responsible adults.

How many more weddings
do we have left?

Two, three.

Oh, my God!
My sister's wedding is next.

She's gonna be a
complete nightmare.

I'm gonna have to take
care of her. And then it's

your brother's wedding,
we'll meet the entire family.

Hey, Mara, tonight
just focus on us.

Hm.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

Oh.

♪ If you're waiting
for some kind of sign ♪

♪ Their love is at your door ♪

♪ There won't be
no bells ringing ♪

Smile.

Always askin' me to smile.

I love it when you smile.

Now put your hands
above your head.

My hands above my head?

Yeah, like a, like
an underwear model.

Oh!

Okay.

♪ For you, and me ♪

Hey.

What?

Let's stay like this forever.

I don't think we can afford
to stay like this forever.

You know what I mean.

♪ Stick together now
So who's that we love ♪

♪ But us... ♪

♪ ♪

♪ A wise man once said to me ♪

♪ These are the
best things in life ♪

[Mara]
I have to tell you something.

Yeah?

What is it?

It's scary.

Mm.

Okay.

I think...

I really love you.

Let's get married.

What?

Marry me.

Holy shit.

♪ ♪

See, this is what
growing up feels like.

Adding a little
stability to your life.

So what did mom and
dad think of him?

[Alex laughs]

[Barbara] But, seriously,
marriage is a real commitment.

[Michael] Barbara,
you started screwin' around

during our honeymoon. What
do you know about commitment?

Oh, my God!

Do I smell rosemary?

I think I smell rosemary.

Yeah, that smells
fantastic, Jake.

Thank you.
Would you like to try it?

See if it's missin' anything?

[Michael] Thanks.
Oh, it's very good. Very nice.

That's the sophisticated
palate for ya.

[laughs]

Nobody is, is worldly
as you, Barbara.

- How's Guillermo, Barbara?
- Hm.

Who's Guillermo?

Guillermo's the man your
father thought I fucked

on our honeymoon.

[Mara] So embarrassing!

I'm not embarrassing.
Your father's embarrassing.

Just trying to give
these kids some advice.

Oh, advice from you.
That would be a miracle.

This is our little
miracle, right here,

that she came out
of this monster.

You know, isn't Little Miracle
what we used to call your-

Hey, you know what, I had
trouble one time gettin'

a hard-on, imagine that.

Amber alert over here probably
likes the smell of cigarettes

and boxed wine.
Do you like that, kid?

[slurps]

God, I feel like I'm
watching fetish porn.

[Ron] So, Jake, you hittin'
Coachella this year?

No, just, come here.

[Mara] They like Jake.

Mom's slam piece loves him.

What did your
parents talk about?

Uh, themselves.

They just fought per usual.

They haven't spent that much
time together in 20 years, and

they still hate each other.

Yeah. Well, that's mom and dad.

Makes you wonder why
anyone would get married

in the first place.

Mara, if you
don't wanna marry Jake,

like, if you're at all unsure...

It's not that, I
didn't say that.

It's just-

we've only been dating,
like, nine months.

That's a good amount of time.

The-the only thing matters
is, do you love Jake?

Of course, I do.

If I didn't, I
would've just said no.

That would've been way easier.

Look, it takes more than
love to make a marriage work.

It's about choosing what's
important and what you

can do without.

Take me for example.

I freaked out this morning
before the ceremony.

But should I marry Brian?

If I marry Brian,
what am I missing out on?

Who am I missing out on?

Firemen, perhaps?

Maybe a soldier who just
got back from Afghanistan?

The kind of guy that scares
you, but in a good way.

Like, you never know if you're
gonna make it out of sex alive.

That doesn't sound safe.

This is super hot.

I am still freaking out.
I have so much to do.

I have to change his
savings into a joint account,

I have to figure out his will.
Like, do I keep everything

or do I have to share
some with the family?

What were we talking about?

Soldiers.

Cold feet.

♪ ♪

Good mornin'.

Mm. I need coffee.

Well, I'll do you one better.

Homemade eggs Benedict
for my fiancée.

Mm, later.

Well, I just poached the egg.

There isn't really any later.

Okay, coffee comin'.

So, I was thinkin'.

A new restaurant just
opened up down the block.

And if you don't have
any plans for later...

You're welcome.

♪ ♪

[Robbie] Hey, how's it goin'?

Good mornin'.

Thanks for comin'.

Alright.

[elevator ding]

[Jake] Where's your camera?

- [Mara] Back in LA.
- I'm dead.

You should've stopped me before
we started those tequila shots.

What are you talking about?

All you have to do
is sit there and eat.

I'm the one who has to be
charming for your family and

shit all weekend.

Ooh!

Yes.

Mara, you're fucking savage!

Ah!

I call it resourceful.

Hey, man, where's Violet?

I haven't seen her all mornin'.

Still in our room, passed
out in her wedding dress.

She'll, she'll be down soon.

Violet's never been
good with Champagne.

[Preston] Hm. Mm, something
sweet I can actually eat.

You're gonna eat one of those
or just play touchy feely?

Save it for you wife.

I'm just gonna...

I may have to have a
long talk with that boy.

Have you tried the eggs
Benedict, Mrs. Harrison?

They're amazing.

Oh, now you want eggs Benedict.

[Janet] Mara, why be so formal?
Call me mom.

So when are y'all
movin' back to Virginia?

Uh, we were never going
to move to Virginia.

What in the world is so
special about Los Angeles?

I mean, it's nothin'
but avocados and traffic.

Well, Janet.

[clears throat]

Mom, our lives are there.

Our friends, my career.

She's-like I said,
it's a conversation.

I thought you worked at a store.

You know, we-we just
got a new Target.

No, actually, I work
in a small boutique, uh,

but I'm also into photography.

I can see why you
wanna marry her, son.

You're gorgeous.

Thank you.

How many babies you're
gonna put in her?

Dad, no.

How about five children?

None. How about
we just have none?

I mean, all women want babies.

Comes with the territory.

[Grandma] Do you accept Jesus
Christ as your Lord and Savior?

Just tell grandma
you believe in Jesus.

I believe in Jesus.

Hallelujah.

We're gonna have the ceremony
at Pastor Watkins' church.

Oh, P-Pastor Watkins.

- Yes, sister.
- I'm seein' peach.

Are you on the Instagram?

I don't really...

Did you see that Throwback
Thursday I posted of Jake.

Senior prom, you and Nicole.

Oh, you were so happy back then.

Yes, but I am pretty happy now.

Okay.

You know, Jakey likes his girls
with some meat on their bones.

Mm.

Have you seen Nicole?

Mm, mm, mm.

Not as much back as Nicole,
but you can work with it.

Dad. Uh.

Mara, tell us all about
your family, baby.

Your parents, how long
have they been together?

Oh, they were married
for maybe about ten years.

Oh, they died?

Oh, no. They're not dead,
they're just divorced.

We do not divorce.

Well, in certain circumstances,
some people, they...

Hm-mm. There are no split
branches up in this family tree.

We just wait for them
to dry up and fall off.

That means, to death.

You made your bed.

A deal is a deal.

I will!
That's it.

Will you excuse me for a second?

Oh, hey, baby.
You alright?

Well, I see why
you left this place.

She ain't no Nicole.

[cough]

[elevator ding]

[Violet] Oh Lord!

Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

So this honeymoon,
where are you guys going?

Going to Maui.

Ah! Maui.
When do you leave?

- Uh, tomorrow.
- Yeah.

Jake! Answer your phone!
[phone rings]

What?

Hello.

Jake, we have a runner.
Violet took off.

I think she's leaving Robbie.

Shit! Well, then,
you gotta go get her.

What? No!

I'm tired, I'm hungover,
I'm still drunk.

- Wait, what?
- I don't want to.

Just go, go.

Uh!

We gotta go.

Violet.

Violet!

Do not make me run in heels!

Ow!

Oh, my God.

Violet, wait up!

Violet, I'm right
behind you, wait.

I can't run in these heels.
Who am I kidding?

How do you even get these on?

And she's gone.

Hey, Robbie knows
where Violet went.

- Get in.
- Okay.

- Are you limping?
- What happened?

- Get in, come on.
- Why is your shoe off?

- I can't run in heels.

- Come on, we gotta
go, we gotta go.

I know exactly. Before she
leaves. Goodness gracious.

I lost her.

She's fast for a
girl in a corset.

Why is she running?

She's getting a cheeseburger.
The first thing that Violet

wanted to do after the
wedding was break her diet.

Respect.

[kills engine]

[sniffs] I know my baby so well.

She says this place has the
best cheeseburger in the world.

So what's the move here?

I'll, um...

I'll, I'll go and, um...

I'll go and talk.

I, I...
I can't.

I'll do it.
No, no, I'll do it.

Are you sure? Are you sure?

Yeah. I got this.

[sharp exhale]

Yup, mm-hmm, I got it.

Doin' it.

- She's got it, man.
- I know.

- She's got it.
- Yes she is.

I don't feel like, I feel
like she's not gonna get it.

♪ ♪

Hey, Violet.

Can I have a fry?

Thanks.

Everything okay?

Peachy.

Come on, we're almost sisters.
Kinda.

You can talk to me.
Why are you running?

Look, I love Robbie, okay?

But his family, they
are crazy as hell.

Ever since we got engaged,
all they do is pester me.

"When are you gonna have a baby?

How many babies? Ooh,
when you gonna quit your

job so you can take care
of all them babies?"

I mean, I didn't even know that
people were still like this,

Mara. It's like they think I'm
some kind of freakin' breeder.

It's, uh, it's a
lot to deal with.

Mm-hmm.

You know, at first I thought it
was just his mom and then, you

know, his dad and then
his sweet old granny.

But it turns out that
Robbie is just like them.

I mean, look, Jake might
be different, okay?

But I don't know.
Who knows?

Girl, get out!

Get out while you
still can, okay?

Look, look, Violet, it's easy
to run away, especially, when

you've spent the past
six months in the gym.

Eight.

Look, if you really
wanna go, then go.

I, I will cover for you.

But I think you'll regret
leaving if you don't talk

to Robbie first.

He needs to hear that
from you, face-to-face.

I don't even know
where Robbie is.

Oh, he's in the parking lot,
crying in a

small Korean compact.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, he's crying?

Yeah, oh, yes, a lot.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

You wanna finish any of this?

No, I've already
had three of these.

Oh.

I mean, I'll take a couple
of these for the road.

I'll get your bag.

- Just gonna up and leave 'cause
you don't wanna have babies?

[Violet] What else was
I supposed to do?

Your family was trying to
inseminate me in the reception.

Well, may... that's what
marriages are for!

They're supposed to put babies...

- Oh, that's what they're for?
- I'm a machine? I'm just gonna

pump out babies for you?
I thought I was your wife.

- Yes. Oh, oh, this is, this...
- I'm pouring my heart out.

Y-you're breaking my heart.

Come on and put your hands
on me. What's going on?

- I love you.

Wait.

So they're back together now?

[Violet] Oh, my God.
[car horn honks]

Uh, well, I just
saw Violet's vagina,

so I'm gonna say probably.

[loud moaning]

Newlyweds.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

[airplane]

[Mara] Where is it?

We're gonna find it.
Don't worry.

Two layovers and
thirteen hours later.

But no lost luggage.

Shouldn't have cheaped
out on plane tickets.

Come on, and miss spendin'
the night at Cinnabon?

We're never gonna find it.

- Oh, my God!

- Did we even park here?

I just wanna go
home and take a nap.

This is so annoying.

Ah, Mara, I know that
your car is a piece of shit,

but most cars come with...

[car alarm]
an alarm system.

My car is not a piece of shit.

Don't patronize me.

What?

[car alarm continues]

I found it!

Great.

[car doesn't start]

Ugh!

[deep sigh]

Well, it finally happened.

My sweet baby girl is dead.

I'll call a tow truck.

- Jake?
- Mm?

How do you picture our
lives after we get married?

I don't know.

I haven't really
thought about it.

Well, picture it now.

We get married, five years
go by, what do you see?

Okay.

I see a house,
a dog in the yard.

What kind of dog?

A rescue.

Obviously.

And inside, we're having a
really fancy dinner party

because we're rich now.

I'm grilling rib eye and
you're making the salad.

Am I taking photos?

Oh, you still do that now?

There's a big
bathroom and an office.

[sigh]

And a guest
bedroom that one day,

maybe,

turns into a kid's room.

Oh, it's in Virginia, so he or
she can get to know my family.

No.

No?

No to what? The dog?

No, just no.

Mara, you've been
acting weird all day.

What are you talking about?

All of it.

Weddings, babies, moving and-
I can't, I can't do it.

I can't.
Distractions from my career?

Career? What career?

Uh, photography.

You take pictures that nobody
ever sees, how's that a job?

What do you know?

I know that you
can do that anywhere,

Los Angeles or Virginia.

I can't do it in Virginia.

Why? What's wrong with Virginia?

Yeah, it's not about Virginia!

I just can't do it, okay?

You should know that,
you should get that!

What are you doing?

Oh, uh, you wanna get high now?

It's been a long few days. Okay?

No, you don't get to just pick

a fight and then
decide to go get high!

- You're oppressing me!
- You're acting crazy!

No, you are! You live
in a goddamn snow globe,

and I tried it out, Jake, I did!
I tried your home

and I tried your family,
and I fucking hated it!

You hate my family?

No, you, that...

- You know what I mean. I...
- I don't.

My parents were so excited to
see you, and you couldn't,

you couldn't just put your
thing aside for one weekend.

My, my thing?
What's my thing?

Yes, your thing.
You're selfish, Mara.

Okay, you could be doing
so much more, but, no.

You just have to bitch
and make excuses.

It's like you're too
afraid to get off your ass!

Fuck you.

Yeah, and I would chill
on the whole you-could-be-

doing-so-much-more thing.
You're a cook at a diner!

Yeah, well, at least
I'm doing something.

Not your dream.

You can't bring the South
to Southern California

if you're living in Virginia.

[sniffs]

Oh, God, my finger's swollen.

Hey, hey, okay,
look, look, look.

It has been, it's
been a rough few days.

- No.
- Mara, I love you.

It's not enough for you,
that is never going to be

enough for you!

I'm not the marrying type.

I thought I could be.

But you want someone who'd go to
church with your grandma and do

game nights with your parents,
someone who'll be home in time

for dinner and that's just...

That's just not me.

Okay, alright, okay.

Let's just think about this.

I have been thinking about this.

I've been thinking about this
from the moment I said yes.

It takes more than love
to make a marriage work.

Please, just take it.

♪ ♪

♪ Every love is in
constant motion. ♪

♪ But I'm not sure which
way we're coping. ♪

♪ We used to stay up all
night talking about nothing. ♪

♪ Now we've become
paralysed with words unspoken ♪

♪ Do you still want me the way
that you did when we first met ♪

♪ Is it the real thing or is
it just something we forsake, ♪

♪ Are we caught up in a mess
in another crossroads? ♪

[phone rings]

So you found the flaw.

[sniffs]

I wasn't looking
for one, I swear.

I'm so sorry, Mara.

I asked him about our future and
he could only talk about his,

like he, like he saw me

as this cookie-cutter
version in his future.

And I, I-I know
where it comes from.

It comes from his family.

And they were shoving their
traditions down my throat.

And I couldn't take it and...

You don't think
your parents didn't scare

the hell out of him?

My parents, they never
should've gotten married

in the first place.

Well, then you wouldn't
be here, would you?

♪ Don't know if I'm safe,
your kisses just get sweeter ♪

♪ Part of your heart is off
limits, and I can't get in ♪

♪ It's now or never there comes
a point I can't keep waiting ♪

♪ Are we caught up in a
mess in another crossroads ♪

♪ Are we really meant to be,
should there ever be alone ♪

♪ I've been all up in my head
all the thinking it all alone ♪

♪ If you don't know if
you love me by now. ♪

♪ Just say you do ♪

♪ Love me, Love ♪

♪ Every love is
a constant motion ♪

♪ But I'm not sure
which way we're coping ♪

♪ Are we all up in my head all
the thinking it all alone ♪

♪ If you don't know if
you love me by now ♪

♪ ♪

[deep exhale]

Jake?

Nicole?

Uh, what are you doin' here?

Well, I heard you got a new job.

Well, I saw it on
your mom's Instagram.

Mmm.

But it's so good to see you.

Yeah. Well, you, too.

Hm.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear
about you and Mara.

Uh.

How'd you find out?

Also on your mom's Instagram.

Huh.

Hm.

What about you? You...

Turns out Adam's
a bit of a jerk.

So...

Well... in your face.

Yeah, I guess I deserve that.

Mm-hmm.

Jake, I am so sorry for
the way things ended with us.

It's cool.

Really.

Well, I think we should
catch up over another round,

if you're down.

[chuckles]

I don't really think
that's such a good idea.

Oh, come on.

Jake, it's one drink.

Alright. One drink.

♪ ♪

[Vetiver sings "Stranger Still"]

[Boss] Nice.

Let's move, I don't wanna keep
that food critic waiting.

Okay.

The reduction looks beautiful.

Nice work.

Thanks.

Now let's get back to it.

Okay.

[Boss Queen] We are so excited
to have you join the team.

We're all about what's fun,
what's fearless and what's

female in SoCal.

Your eye is exactly what
we've been looking for.

[Boss Bitch]
But we're curious.

What other wedding
stuff can you give us?

We're trying to break into
the whole bridal fever.

I'm, I'm kinda
done with all that.

But you're our wedding girl.

I've never been a wedding girl

and I never
wanna come off as one.

Again, I just... Look, if you
just wanna buy my old pictures,

- I'm happy to give...
- They're online.

Day old bread as far
as I'm concerned.

Look, Mara, what we need from
you is to keep going to those

weddings and get your camera
lens on the stuff that the

professionals aren't staging.

Mm.

You wanna get paid to
play with the Yankees,

you gotta play ball.

Hm.

I appreciate you meeting with
me, uh, but those weddings,

they wrecked me.

At least the good parts of me.

And I just want to move on
and find those parts again.

Thanks for the latte, though.

Oh, and FYI, this
is Dodgers' territory.

I told you not to use
a sports reference.

I, uh...

♪ ♪

Holy shit!

♪ ♪

Okay.

Well, if you're gettin'
laid, I'mma get laid.

Nope.
Uh-hu.

Glasses.
Eww.

He'll do, Peter 27.

Peter, right?

[Peter] Hey, Moira.

Oh, it's, uh, Mara, actually.

Cool.

Uh, you look different
in your photos.

Oh!

Cuter in person.

No. Just different.

Hey, you want a shot?

Yes! Yes, yeah.

Mm! Thank you. Cheers!

Cheers.

- More, please!
- We need more.

- Yeah!
- Cheers!

What a pussy!

Keep going. Keep going.

[slurping]

I have to breathe.

Skol.

Cheers to that!

Whoo!

I just spilled it
all over my face.

I have vodka in my eyes.

Good time.

Whoo!

[laughs]

This is fun.

You know, your picture
didn't look very fun,

but you're really fun.

Oh, gosh.

Mara!

Where are you goin'?
I was gonna make pancakes.

No. No! Mm-mm.

What, did I do
something wrong or, or...

Of course not! It's...

Pancakes are just really
triggering for me right now.

Okay. Well, you know,
I can make waffles, if you want.

Listen, I just had sex
with you 'cause I was sad.

That's, you know, pretty mean.

Uh, yeah, well,
girls can be mean, too.

And that's okay.

Great sex playlist, though.

Thought you should know that.

You were really good!

I know!

♪ ♪

[car horn]

[phone rings]

Alex.

Mara, I have big news.

Zak just asked me to marry him.

We were hanging out and,
I, well, I don't know.

He dropped to one knee
and I thought he lost his

contact lens, 'cause he got
these new ones. They're colored.

- I can't stand them. It...
- Get to the point.

And he popped the question.

Mara?

Did I lose you?

No.

Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna
put you on speaker with us.

Hey, Zak, uh, congratulations.

[Zak] Thank you so much, Mara.

I know it's kind of sudden, but,
um, we have decided to just go

for it, and we're getting
married next month.

Holy shit.

Uh, well, we got, we
gotta celebrate, right?

I mean, pop some Champagne.

I'm gonna squeeze you so
hard when I see you, Alex.

I can't wait.

There is more.

More?

We were thinking
about inviting Jake.

He's the reason we're together.

[Zak] I mean, if he hadn't come
up to me at that wedding, then...

[Alex] Then, we wouldn't be
having a wedding, you know?

I know.

But we wanna get your blessing
first because your friendship

is more important
than our thank you.

Okay.

Wait, uh, okay, like...

Okay, like, uh, invite him.

Really, um, I'm so
happy for you guys.

Well, thank you, Mara.

Thank you so much, Mara.

[Alex] We love you.

Love you, too.

Do we give Jake a plus one?

We're not trashy, Alex.

[laughs]

Or are we?

Not with this ring.

[crying]

Okay.

♪ ♪

Okay, now hold hands.

Yeah.
[camera clicks]

Oh, that's great.

No teeth?

Okay. No teeth.

Now, hold your hands again.

Perfect.

[Alex] Okay,
now one without shirts.

[laughs]

[Mara] Hello?

Yes, well, uh, yeah.

They're, they're all for sale.

Uh-huh.

It's so exciting.

♪ ♪

[buzzer]

Jess? What's wrong?

I left him.

I left Brian.

Please don't say you told me so.

Last week I went to happy hour
with my girlfriends, and they

were all gushing over their
husbands and their fiancés.

And the whole time,
I never thought about Brian.

Not once.

It's like we were just living
completely separate lives.

Look, I love Brian.

I don't dread waking
up to him every morning.

I'm just not thrilled about it.

Do you know what I mean?

Not really.

Well, of course, you don't.

You had a real partner in Jake.

I wish I had that.

I thought you said
it takes more than love

to make a marriage work.

It can, but it shouldn't.

♪ ♪

[sigh]

No.

Okay, well, what about this one?

I'm not going to
a funeral, Ellie.

- Okay.
- Come on.

Ooh! Got it.

Touch of glamor.

This could actually
be really fierce.

Oh, my God, yes!

I have the perfect
ballet slippers for it.

Now, this could be
a real power move.

Oh, my gosh!

Do you think I
could pull that off?

You?

Now?

Absolutely.

♪ ♪

- Hello!
- Hey.

It's good to see you guys.

You look great.
Enjoy the party, okay?

Okay.

Hello, everybody.

My name is Mara, if you
don't already know by now.

Um, thank you so much for being
here on this beautiful occasion.

Alex and I became best friends
the moment I saw this video.

Oh my God.

[on TV] What's up, TV?
My name is Alex Feinberg. I'm a

freshman at UC Santa Barbara
and I wanna be a contestant on

the next season of the "Real
WorldRoad Rules Challenge."

MTV, meet my rats.

I don't, I don't
still have the rats.

FYI, the rats' names
were Tek and Ruthie.

And, yes, that is a
reference to "Real World."

And, yes, Alex still
thinks those pants are as

flattering as
they are functional.

Oh!

Now, this video goes on for
another 15 minutes and it's

mostly just Alex showing
MTV how to make a sarong

out of bedsheets.

So I tracked down this
lovable weirdo because I knew

I needed him in my life.

And while I now have to share
my lovable weirdo with Zak,

I appreciate them every
day just a little bit more.

Not just for sharing their love,

but for teaching me that this,

the two of you,
that is what a real,

functional relationship is.

So cheers.

Cheers!

To Alex and Zak, the
cargo pants of couples.

[cheering]

Get over here before
I embarrass myself.

Where did you find that?

Hiyah!

Hey, Mara.

That was a really great speech.

Thanks.

Uh, where's Nicole?

We get, like, a drink
sometimes, but that's really...

Can we talk outside?

Yeah.

[Both] You look really good.

I, I was gonna say
the same thing.

I-I did say the same thing
at the exact same time.

Stop talking.

So, I, um...

That, uh, that food
critic's review, I read it.

Um, it's really something.

Congratulations.
I'm so happy for you.

Thank you. Thanks.

Uh, and I saw your website.

Yeah.

Really proud of you.

Thanks.

I jumped in because of you.

It's weird 'cause it's like
everything I've ever wanted,

but I just...

just...

It doesn't quite feel right.

Yes.

We went to a total of
seven weddings together.

Robbie and Violet's,
Ellie and Howard's.

I think his name was Marcus.

- Oh, dammit!
- Really struggled with that.

I think I really loved Howard.

[laughter]

Anyways, um, all those couples,
those seven couples, they,

they all had one
thing in common.

You know what they
had that I didn't?

The will to try.

And they all, they all
had their problems.

- Mara, I know that I scared you.
- They all pushed through.

I rambled on about
some bullshit life and...

The second that I had the chance
to run, I didn't take my advice,

- and I'm miserable.
- I wasn't miserable.

I'm still in love with you.

Exactly how you are,
for who you are.

Mara, when you took
off that ring...

I know.

I have to tell you something.

It's scary.

Just say it.

I'm still in love with you.

♪ ♪

Am I making you nervous?

Do I seem nervous?

♪ ♪

♪ Ah, freak out! ♪

♪ Le freak, c'est chic
Freak out! ♪

♪ Ah, freak out! ♪

♪ Le freak, c'est chic
Freak out! ♪

♪ Have you heard about
the new dance craze? ♪

♪ Listen to us,
I'm sure you'll be amazed ♪

♪ Big fun to
be had by everyone ♪

♪ All that pressure
got you down ♪

♪ Has your head been
spinning all around? ♪

♪ Feel the rhythm... ♪

Cold feet?

Me? Really?

It's a big commitment.

Just wanna make
sure you're sure.

I'm sure.

Alright.

Look at this one right here.

- Hey. Hey, guys.
- Hello!

- Hey, guys. Sup.

You're so sweet.

[Karen Damelian sings
"Smooth Sailing"]

♪ ♪