The Wedding (2004) - full transcript
Wojnar is a wealthy man who is marrying off his beautiful daughter Kaska, in a small town in present-day Poland. He had to bribe the groom with a fancy car, since Kaska had been pregnant with another man. At the end of the ceremony, the car is delivered by a gangster, who immediately demands the promised sum of money and the deed to land from Kaska's grandfather. Unfortunately, the grandpa is unwilling to let go of the land. Meanwhile each of the wedding reception workers demands to be paid, so Wojnar, who is very reluctant to part with his money, tries to haggle and bribe his way out of all the situations.
present the film
THE WEDDlNG
You wanted the job,
so don't piss me off.
With this you zoom...
and with this, switch to manual...
Remember about the balance,
change of tapes,
and recharging of batteries.
The rest is simple,
like screwing. Repeat.
Like screwing.
The love of money
is the root of all evil.
Eager for it, some have wandered
from the faith
and pierced themselves
with many griefs...
For we brought nothing into
the world,
and we can take nothing out of it.
lf we have food and clothing,
we'll be content with that.
Those who want to get rich,
fall into temptation and a trap
and into many foolish
and harmful... desires.
Shoot each guest.
Screw up this wedding
and no work here for 5 years.
Go now...
- He's leaving?!
- We work together.
Where's me leading
my girl to the altar?
We reduce the costs
and it's cheaper.
Like l give a hoot!
l can afford it.
Set to or else
you won't shoot the wedding.
Where are you?!
- And if he doesn't come?
- He will. Only 1 5 min. late.
l Janusz take you Catherine
for my wedded wife...
Couldn't he have taken
a smaller camera?
- l vow...
- To love, cherish...
Say it's small
'cause it's modern.
Those whom God has joined
together let no man put asunder.
On behalf of
the Catholic Church,
l authorize and bless this matrimony
into which you have entered.
Would that you never went
boozing with us,
but always had everything home.
This will spite them
when they see it on tape.
Disperse! The police!
May you always be together,
love each other very much
and bear robust children.
l jump the line. My duties, see?
Weddings are the chief
cause of divorces, you know.
Wish you luck, good health,
and tons of dough! ! !
Katie, l'm so happy.
Gimme the flowers!
He got her with child.
That's why.
His lucky find.
Wojnar won't let them starve.
His business going south,
he's deep in debt.
All the best, dearly beloved...
That kielbasa is el cheapo,
already green and stinking.
- The cake's not yummy?
- The bigos not the cake.
l won't touch the cake...
The prick's switched off the cell.
- You've given him too much.
- So nothing up front?!
Wish you luck.
- Father Adam vouched for him, no?
- But not gratis.
So he's sure to come...
Shoot everything.
Get it?
At long last!
Father Adam's in-law?
- Name's Wojnar. Why so late?
- Late? On the dot.
- Got the money and the rest?
- l do... but not now.
Give me the keys.
Wait till l give the present.
Not all of you may know...
that - come morning,
when the wedding's over -
Kate and Janusz are off
to Croatia on honeymoon!
My present is a decent car
to help you get there fast...
- as befits a respectable couple,
not riffraff -
and when it's over,
to return safely home.
Bravo!
May they yive to be a hundred...
5000 Zl. up front and here's 45,000.
50,000 altogether. Correct?
The money, yes...
Show me the car papers,
import duty, receipt, and registration.
And the land?
Problems...
Gramps's changed his mind.
He wavers...
The deal was the car plus 2 ha of land.
l have better land for you,
closer to the wood.
l want what we agreed upon today
in writing. Such was the deal.
Don't get all worked up.
We'll reach an agreement.
Today's the deadline!
Tomorrow's another deal...
- l'll handle that.
- You had 2 weeks!
The register copy is ready.
l'll send for a notary public.
When Gramps drinks a bit...
he'll sign.
Let's drink too.
Drink we can... but no receipts.
lmagine those tongues wagging
when the priest learns
you've cheated his in-law.
Quiet!
On behalf of the parents of
the bride, l welcome our nice guests.
We hope that, on this special night,
we won't be short
of love, smile and warmth.
Kiss the bread.
Kiss, kiss... !
May they yive to be a hundred
May their yucky star never go out...
Good to see you. We need to pay
for the vodka.
The van driver wants 500 Zl. more,
'cause he paid the duty in Slovakia.
ln a pig's eye! At that price
l could've bought it in the general store.
You're hard to satisfy. Why, you've
saved a pretty penny anyway...
Five hundred.
The vodka's bitter but we won't drink
Unyess the newyyweds make it sweet.
Kiss, kiss... !
Why so long, Grandpa?
Can't you make ?
No tissue here. Get some.
- Grandpa, we have to talk.
- The land? No way!
Father Adam's in-law
wants it for the car.
You promised, so you worry now.
Because you said you didn't
need it.
Remember? ln the supermarket.
What was then is not now.
Those 2 ha not worth a damn.
Are you planning on
building a house at your age?
After all l have money.
l can buy it...
or give you a better ground
and more of it for that...
- The one l inherit.
- First, not you, but Eluska.
Second, give it to him
if it's so good.
l wanted to. But he's planning
something, as the land's by the road.
And he wants it now...
So, Grandpa, a deal?
No!
- Why not?
- Because.
Come! What is it?
They're waiting with speeches.
The deal was a down payment!
Wait!
Not in front of the people.
They want the party to start.
lntroduce me... you know how.
- A shotgun wedding, eh?
- The band's from Rzesz?w.
Familiar to all and respected,
he'll pay for your fun and games,
like he did for the Audi,
which won't be parking much.
Tomorrow, the newly weds
are off in it to Croatia.
The honeymoon trip
must've cost some too.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Wieslaw Wojnar,
a butter-and-egg man!
Expensive...
Expensive is what
money can't buy...
... which is good health and love.
What matters is that Kate
and Janusz are in love,
like l and Eluska were once.
But for her l wouldn't have
managed in business and at home.
And today l have the honor
to thank her for it.
Let's thank them for the hard
work of rearing their daughter
and preparing this wedding reception.
Three cheers for Mr. and Mrs. Wojnar...
May they yive...
- Good speech, no?
- Gimme 2,400 Zl.
- Why?
- For the cake, flowers...
the decorations, food preparation...
Everybody wants money.
You didn't say that so much.
l did!
l must drive home.
Go then,
'cause they're waiting.
Tell Kate to talk to Gramps
about the land.
He won't refuse her.
- To talk to him in the john?!
- The best chance possible.
Come.
Kate?
What're you doing in the gents'?
Everything's all right, Grandpa?
Yeah, but the bowels don't
move like they used to.
What's the matter
with that land?
- What land?
- Those 2 ha by the road...
- ... Dad talks about.
- Told you to ask me?
Asked me to ask you.
So what about it?
To you, free of charge,
but l'll never sell it to him.
This is what you'll tell him.
Are you happy with Janusz?
- Yes, Grandpa.
- That's good.
They say when he ran after you
in high school,
you wouldn't even look at him.
Now you drop out and in a trice
you're man and wife.
What else do they say?
Like why they aren't playing?
- They just have a break.
- So soon? l'll tell you.
He didn't pay them.
So greedy
he'd eat his own shit.
All he cares for is a quick buck
by hook or crook, no matter.
l won't give him the land.
- Why this break?
- No money no music.
l've had unforeseen expenses.
When the party's in full swing,
l'll bring the money right away...
- Come on set to.
- You won't fool us again
You must pay now.
The whole amount.
- Plus five centuries.
- How come?
- lnterest for the delay.
- You snot!
Listen good, unless you
bring the money now,
you play your tape recorder.
Before we pack up, we'll
say thru the mike
what cheat and swindler you are.
For everybody to hear.
- Dad, we must talk.
- What else is it?
DVD and furniture.
We have to sleep on something.
Stay here!
What're you doing here?!
Get out! Quick! Dammit!
No one will lift anything here.
But bring the keys... back at once.
The whole supply of vodka
is stored here for this party.
Don't touch any switches.
l need a notary public.
As long as you're sober, grab
a car and bring Jasiek Janocha,
- ... who lives in Piotr?wka.
- Brother of the council chair?
- The one on Antabuse?
- Exactly.
Let him take seals, stamps,
and whatever is necessary
to convey real estate.
To come to the wedding now?
Will he comply?
- l'll pay extra.
- Anything specific?
No, l'll negotiate with him.
Look, it's 1 5 km to Piotr?wka
and back
and l've been running on empty
since yesterday.
l've left my wallet home
not to lose it when l'm drunk.
Kate! More air! Open the window!
Outside. Help her up, men...
lt was the heat...
Talk to the priest.
Let him convince the in-law
to take other grounds.
What if the in-law
doesn't comply?
Tell the Stasiuks.
They can't wait
to beat someone up.
And for a few pennies...
such an in-law... with pleasure.
That's the last resort, of course.
First peacefully... through the priest.
That's the way l took you
and admire.
Okay, finish the cake.
Let's have some fun.
Why sulk?
Your daughter is married.
That's cause for happiness.
Why, l am happy.
What is it?
Something about the car?
Have you paid my in-law?
l have, but there's
a problem....
... with the land.
That strip by the road.
Gramps's had a change of heart.
l have much land,
better than that.
l'll give him three hectares in
place of those two.
Can't you, Father,
make him change his mind?
No good. l vouch for you
and you welsh on the deal.
Unsportsmanlike...
- l'll donate to the church.
- Good idea.
The roof is leaking.
We have to put in radiators.
The cost of repairs is 2,000 Zl.
Will 1 ,000 be enough?
God helping...
at promotional prices... for 1 ,000...
... and 500 they'll manage to do it.
All right.
l'll talk to my in-law.
Where is he?
- Praised be Jesus Christ.
- For ever and ever.
- You want to try, Father?
- Let me sit there.
See?... Barely a fortnight ago
in my vestry, you were choosing
which would suit your fancy.
This fills the bill to a T.
You've seen his in-law?
Dad, the papers.
l have to register and insure it.
Go back to Kate. Tongues wag
the car's matters more to you.
- Leave the keys.
- ln the car.
We're waiting by the firehouse.
- A brawl by the fence.
- Very good.
When no one is thrashed,
the wedding's a failure.
The car's a tsatske.
So... before my in-law comes,
l can receive the donation.
Enough.
Go back to the hall.
How dare you show up here?!
To spoil my wedding?
Haven't you made me
suffer enough?
Get lost
and from my life too.
Got that?
- Who's he?
- Why? Brother-in-law.
Maybe so, but not mine.
Waldek was busy, so l've
brought the sled for him to settle up,
We've honored the deal. And you?
l'm of no use here.
How come?
Under the circumstances,
l can't be a mediator.
l see him for the first time.
A contract is a contract
and you have to honor it.
Well, Mr. Wojnar,
do you have the deed or not?
lt never swerves, see?
Tell me how much
the sled is worth?
A billion and a half
old zlotys... Slow down.
And from a dealer rather than
from me? How much then?
1 50,000.
That's right. So how much money
did this car cost you?
500,000,000 old or
50,000 new Zl... Pull over.
- How much have you saved then?
- A billion...
Where're you driving me?
- Did you pay more than you thought?
- No... To Gramps's field. Why?
Was the delivery on time?
- Yes, on the dot.
- So is it the f'n color?
Turn here.
Everything as promised.
So why are you trying to cheat me?
How could l know
you only care for Gramps's field?
l thought maybe other grounds
or money...
lf it were for me,
l might take the other field.
But it's not. l was hired to bring
the car, which l did
and must take full payment,
even by cutting
your balls off. Get it?
No, you don't get it!
l have another field for you, better,
larger, and sold on better terms.
lf not, l'll beat your lights out
and you'll bring the papers in
your teeth begging forgiveness.
The deadline is at midnight.
You welsh on the deal,
l take the car and money away.
l'll shoot off your finger now...
Fuck with me again
and l'll kill your daughter.
Cry your eyes out.
l did too at my wedding.
''Wojnar's good,'' l thought,
''but he's not the one.''
l could've married up.
There was one such...
Still in love with me.
- Why didn't you marry him?
- Love's not the most important.
l don't know
what's wrong with the bigos?
What is?
- They say the sauerkraut stinks.
- Not that.
Before you know it you don't ask
yourself those questions,
too busy with... life.
You know what? l don't regret it.
Hardly anybody cares about
his family like Wieslaw does.
- Well?
- l don't smell anything...
lt tastes good.
When you must decide
that man is never around.
Put it on quick!
Faster! Faster!
Now who'll bring me
a roll of paper from the gents'?
Faster! Faster!
Grandpa...
- You still in there?
- No way!
Change the tune. No kidding.
- And the rest?
- ln your field... shot off.
And Eluska changed.
All you talk about is counting,
adding, sub...
See this? So gimme
the f'n 2 ha!
They still ogle her.
But my gardening pans out.
l earn good money.
- You plant them like potatoes...
- Bullshit.
Remember those flowers?!
Why the heck did you
buy that car?
Will you make over
the f'n field or not?
- Whose?
- My wedding present.
- Really?
- A beauty, no?
- Show me the keys.
- Father's taken them.
He wants me there with Kate,
not here.
He's bought you this car?
You must've given him head or what?
Bought it and that's that.
- Where have you been?
- On duty...
Slovakian, eh?... Smelly.
lt's meant to kick
rather than taste good.
What's the engine?
- Four-cylinder, 5-valve, turbo...
- Two camshafts on the head.
And the suspension?
- Switches of the Macpherson type.
- And triple rockers...
And the mileage?
9.2 1 00km on the average,
acceleration... 1 0... 6.4,
turning radius 1 0.40...
Dinners home...
but fewer one-night stands now...
Don't worry, everything's
gonna be fine.
To beautiful cars, women,
and guests who mount them...
To the traffic cop who drinks
but won't share vodka.
The offices are closed, but
the paper needs confirmation.
- How much?
- What paper d'you mean?
A deed to convey land.
Why not wait till Monday?
You get down to business,
and l... gotta go.
- How much.
- Depends on the percentage.
l hope it's worth doing.
- What kind of land?
- 2 ha of fallow, soil class 5.
One thousand plus stamps.
You've got the seals, stamps,
and everything?
l've even taken a portable
with me.
And the parties to the contract?
Stay put. l'll handle everything.
Where have you been?
l been looking everywhere...
The cook says the bigos is spoilt
and may upset their stomachs.
- He's no in-law.
- Who then?
The in-law's friend hired
to bring the car here.
- Agreed?
- No.
The land's not for him.
- For whom?
- The in-law.
l don't know.
when they build something...
we'll see. But Gramps agreed.
He'll convey it and it's over with.
- Your hand?!
- l'll explain later.
First Gramps before
he changes his mind again.
- Do we serve the bigos?
- When it's over, l'll have some.
Go now...
- Nothing doing.
- What?
Dead. His heart stopped
from all that shitting.
- Get a doctor!
- What's the use? He's dead.
You, a vet, know?
About cows not people!
- Bullshit! He's a goner.
- What do we do?
We better hide him...
only to find him in the morn.
Makes no difference to him.
He found him. Come hold the door...
No one must enter.
We'll put him on the seat,
lock up and it's over with.
- They'll find him.
- Nobody will catch on...
Kate's wedding must go on.
All right. Let's pick him up...
Not a peep from you!
l'll pay double.
Occupied!
Help me up! ...
Good.
Couldn't he f'n have waited
for half an hour?
No sinner got away alive
from the disaster.
And the silence of death
spread over the town.
Love one another, like Christ
loved the church
and sacrificed himself for her.
Because love...
Come and eat something.
Not good on an empty stomach.
Bigos is served.
Careful! ... Don't scratch her...
l need you there.
- You do now? And when l...
- Here you go again.
You promised
not to mention that.
Ed's back. We call the Stasiuks,
take him outside and six feet under...
- He's got a gun.
- Alone he can do nothing.
You have to doctor the deed.
Let's sit tight till he's tipsy
but not loaded.
l wish the newly weds
a very large amount of money.
Not the best moment.
You gave me a start.
lf l were a dog, l'd be nine.
Copy of the grounds register?
Subject to evidence,
kind of ownership, area...
- Correct?
- Yes. Name's Wincenty Mr?z.
That's my wife's maiden name.
Now we write that Grandpa
conveys the grounds to so and so...
- Where's he?
- ln Walbrzych.
The owner!
l make the deed, Mr. Mr?z signs,
and l officially confirm it.
The proper sequence
is important in my work.
There's a problem...
Grandpa's dead.
You want to put me in deep shit?
l come at night, on a day off,
to help you,
only to hear it's to be forged?!
When l sent for you,
he was still alive.
lnteresting. Maybe he still is?
You'd have me believe
he agreed to convey the field...
- ... for a paltry one thousand?
- How much?
Such a fraud with a stiff?
Ten thousand!
How much?!
The field's not worth it!
Suit yourself, Mr. Wojnar.
l can still catch a bus... Good bye.
- 5,000?
- Good bye!
7,500 and that's that.
l'm going.
My wife's waiting.
You won't f'n budge... A deal.
Wife should respect husband's
decisions
and he should respect her.
And love her...
''To want or not is the same.''
''Not to want means
to want not to want.''
You know who wrote it?
To Peter Shilton for 1 :0.
How come you've got it?
After Lato passed the ball
at the 57th min. Oct. 1 7, 1 973.
He doesn't believe this is
Jasio Domarski's original.
He's not worth showing it.
- l hear you've bought the Audi?
- So what?
Edmund, lend me your car.
l have a flat but must get home.
From a German used car lot
or at secondhand here?
You off duty, no?
You know how l love my car.
l've driven her for 1 3 years
and still want to.
Find a broad to love
rather than a jalopy.
Laugh you may, but mine's
a Ferrari of her make.
When l drive her, of course.
Too hard for you...
Bullshit. l'll be right back.
Scratch her and you pay
for the repair.
Why not the Audi?
Go away now!
- Been drinking?
- l've borrowed the car.
l've left the papers
but have my driver's license.
Only two glasses...
lt's my daughter's wedding...
Get out of the car.
Blow here till the green goes out.
l'm in a hurry. My daughter's
wedding, see? A special day.
Nothing.
A grown-up man but can't blow?
We can reach an agreement.
Name's Wieslaw Wojnar.
1 .20. We requisition her.
We must take away your license
and send you to the judge.
- Officer, let's bend some rules.
- No way... Too many of them.
You know Ed Was?
Well, he's at the wedding.
My kinsman.
- He is?
- Yeah... How much?
- One thousand.
- The fuck how much?!
One f'n thousand.
Drunken driving, no car papers,
at the crossing sans turn signal,
no seat belt, and the right stoplight.
Only 1 ,1 00
'cause you're Ed Was's family.
Three centuries less and
l invite you to the wedding.
All right, gimme.
l've got nothing on me.
l must get home but will return
to the firehouse immediately.
My daughter's getting married.
lf so, we keep this.
Zero! ... Go!
The trick is to pump up your
balloon the fastest.
Which lady is going
to make the big bang first?
Strain your will win...
Still some more...
Ferrari of the make, my ass!
Stop!
Want your kids fabulous,
use Polish rubbers!
Have they beaten you up badly?
When's the delivery?
Why have you come here?
To see if it's love and happiness
and then to beat it.
l've seen so l beat it.
Wojnar needs the keys
to this storeroom.
They're asking about you.
lt's almost midnight and the
ceremonial capping is prepared.
First...
Correct?
Second...
Third... Fourth...
Two witnesses. You may be
one, so get another.
And Gramps's lD.
- And without it?
- How?
l must have all personal data,
PlN and all.
Excellent!
Come you'll watch the door
while l get to Gramps.
No way!
My duty is
to write the deed,
not to rob the remains
or be an accomplice to murder.
Look at them fight!
Kaziuk, come here.
You want to earn some money?
Have you seen
how messy the toilets are?
The sanitary commission
may come and fine you.
Really?
Don't you know how folks
love to spite others?
Someone must've called them
already.
Maybe those newcomers
nosing about... Been invited?
- No.
- You see?
Let's liquidate the evidence.
Scoop up all that's left on the plates.
Januszewska's got drunk
and is doing striptease,
both her tits bared...
- Where's Gramps?
- Not here.
No paper in the ladies' room.
The sanitary commission...
So yummy that
they've gorged on it.
- Has he signed it?
- Yes... No... l mean yes,
l'm not finished with the in-law.
Nobody's seen him.
l'm worried.
Must be home.
His bowel movement...
That's what l mean.
What did he eat yesterday?
His coat is inside.
Where's Gramps?
Gramps has vanished. Any idea?
Gimme the key to the storeroom.
Edmund! Edmund!...
''ln the presence of...'' l've put you
and now Mr. Edmund.
All right. To who?
l antedated it.
On Monday, l'll have the county
enter it in the land register.
Signatures now.
Witnesses first.
You... here.
Sign.
- What?
- Shmot. Sign...
Here... Good.
Now who forges Grandpa's?
And now mine...
the most important.
J-a-n-o-c-h-a.
How strong!
l can't so much without a chaser.
But after work? Why not?
My beloved... l wish you
truth, goodness, and beauty.
l wish you fine weather in Croatia.
They say it's a wild country,
worse than Poland.
Less cultured, that is.
My friend says like hell it is.
Leave your car open
in the street and... nothing.
When they drink, they play
and sing, not thrash one another.
Their johns are cleaner, unlike
here, ankle high in piss.
May your whole life be
as beautiful as this night.
Beat it!
l can't even relax here.
And the deal?
- What's the f'n time?
- lt's ready.
By the Audi in 1 0 min.
And puts her right hand on it...
May you persevere
through difficult moment.
l must talk to you.
No problems with Gramps?
Well...
That's good.
Don't be angry
about the finger.
You shouldn't have pissed me
off with that intimidation.
Money brings no happiness,
but you should have it.
First, because it doesn't
disturb happiness.
Second...
The bigos didn't upset
my stomach!
O kidding. Lets scoop up
what's left on the plates.
Let's liquidate the evidence,
l'll be right back.
Now a competition for true he-men.
The rules are terribly simple.
Terrible and simple, that is.
You have to smoke, drink,
and practice sports.
Volunteers are welcome!
Don't play a fool, you hear?
Never tell me what to do!
Gentlemen, on the word go,
drink vodka...
Three, two, one... down the hatch!
Now cigarettes. Three for each.
Piece of cake for virile men.
Light up!
Slowly... lnhale deep...
One... two...
Seven... eight... nine.
Mr. Janusz, please.
Don't back out, gentlemen.
lt's just the beginning.
One... Down the hatch!
And smokes!
Squatting again!
One...
What happened to Mr. Janusz?
First to pass out.
A good boy, he.
But he sometimes drinks too
much and then you know...
Put him in the back.
- Don't let him puke.
- E... xactly...
Don't tear his head off.
Remember the competition
at Kurczukowa's wedding?
How can l? l passed out
right after Edmund.
l gorged on drippings before,
only to wake up in intensive care.
A heart attack was in progress...
We were young and stupid...
l gotta go...
A guy's kicking up a row
in the john.
Talks about you all the time.
Fully loaded.
You'd like to know...
You know what he
fucking asked me...?
The fuck l'll tell you.
Shut your trap.
Enough for today.
- l was to be driven home.
- Come, let's the others use it too.
Signature, seals,... 1 5-min work
and l bag ten thousand...
l'll f'n tell you...
lf you have more money...
Am l right, Wieslaw?
l won't part with the briefcase...
No...
l know you can hit me
in the dark now... But no way!
Gramps hears everything
in hell now... Hush, Gramps.
Shut up!
Edmund...
Get up! Come.
l dreamed of attending
a teetotaller's wedding.
- Come.
- Why are you pulling me?
Come up for air. lt'll do you good.
And drive the notary home.
He starts to talk too much...
Too drunk. They'll take away
my license and l'll lose my job.
By bus to sick animals?
You're used to it.
Want some water?
Fish fuck in water.
Been invited to a wedding,
not to be a cabby.
l'll pay you 50 Zl.
Only change on your mind.
l'd risk if it were 300.
1 00... 1 50... 200... no more... 250!
The notary has turned tail!
lt's tempting, fuck it, no?
But the dough's well hidden
from thieves.
l checked if you hadn't
lost the papers.
l didn't expect that of you,
Mr. Wojnar.
Edmund will drive you home.
High time!
lt's scary to stay here!
Thieves! Corpses!
Why are you staring at me?
l saw you doing something.
Talented, aren't you?
Hair still sticking
out of your teeth.
- And you'll tell everybody now?
- l may not...
lf you do me the same,
l'll think it over.
lt's too good for the likes of you.
You prick, you!
lt's not my fault!
l haven't do anything!
- Who?
- Me!
The drain's burst in the gents'!
lt stinks abominably!
- And it the field too!
- Nowhere to pour it into.
We must take it out of here,
as they keep asking for more.
- lt tastes good.
- Where do we hide it?
ln the storeroom where
l keep vodka.
Good. lt'd be easier to parade
with the pot across the hall.
The lid!
- Good.
- Let's go.
Fuck it!
- Will it take long?
- Must be the fuse.
- Have you seen Eluska?
- Everything's fine?
No...
You must've met.
Sergeant Stys.
You've invited us to the wedding.
Well, everything's squared
with them?
lt's none of my business,
But the Audi... stinks.
- You've bought stolen goods.
- Bullshit!
Cars from Germany
have different plates.
Those are requisitioned
after sale.
Check Audi turbo coupe,
silver print with German plates.
Numbers HHH G301 .
You know him?
Drops your name all the time.
You here?
We've requisitioned everything.
Breathalyser test 1 .9.
Help me. They want to
take away the car, papers,
and send me to the judge
for drunken driving.
- The car's left at the crossing.
- And the notary?
He's just drunk a tad too much.
Let him go.
He ignored our signal and
rammed the squad car.
The mudguard's corrugated.
Ed, see all my problems?
Stand up for the family.
You two cops
will find a way out.
They're down to 800.
He has 350.
You chip in?
He was driving.
Why should l pay?
l'll pay!
Because l can.
Can't l, Wieslaw?
Beat it!
302 to 301 Report!
301 Over.
The Audi's is Gerd Muyyer's
of Hamburg, Schyoss Str. 23.
All guys should have
their balls cut off.
You cheated on me.
My husband may some day too.
He doesn't love you.
Fan-fucking-tastic!
He's switched off the cell.
lf we don't requisition it,
someone else will.
Where will you be driving her?
ln the forest?
No car, no money, and
the honeymoon trip's kaput.
- Maybe we could...
- You crazy?
You a cop or a Mafioso?
Bullshit.
l want to help the man, no?
Those plates from the action,
where we had to kill a Russky ?
- They're requisitioned.
- l'll pay!
Our time's up.
Take care of the Audi.
- We'll change the numbers.
- lt's been reported already.
Not yet. Come morning.
lf we try, it won't be at all.
lt's foul business
and a great risk.
But will pay off, right, Wieslaw?
Sure it will.
5000 to split.
Abortion or wedding.
He won't keep a girl with a bastard.
Why didn't l leave?
Where? Penniless? What for?
Who'd have given me a job?
How to feed the baby?
Where could l have lived?
For my finger
and the f'n car.
- We'll do it.
- We f'n will!
Just polish and it's over with.
- And those?
- Acid will do the trick.
- We need an engraver.
- Why? Can't you turn 8 into 3?
Good.
Start working on it.
l'll bring the plates and papers.
- And he?
- Let him sleep.
- And l?
- To the f'n bank for the money.
Will you give me a ride?
Straight ahead all the time.
- No smoking here.
- Will you find the guy?
Not on a private basis.
- What's this?
- His data...
Nothing doing.
lt'll give me trouble.
You'll soon shell out a lot
for the scratched car.
So what's this paltry century?
l once knew a broad
from the D.A.'s office.
301 to 1 1 ... 1 1 .
- You'll get it to the last penny.
- You owe me nothing.
- Will they find him?
- lf he's in the files.
But it'll take time.
Get the money.
We'll meet at Ed's.
Eluska?...
Are you there?
Thirty-five seconds!
And the winner is... Mr. Edmund!
Edmund! Edmund! ...
Strutting in this schmatte again,
making a fool of yourself?
Why has Eluska run away?
- How come?
- And Wieslaw followed...
Must've quarrelled about money.
He wanted to hitch then.
He took ill when l went to college.
Especially, when he learned
l had someone.
He thinks l'll hurt him.
Time will pass
but l'll never love him.
He won't even notice that.
You're stupid.
But give me a hug.
That's a good dog...
You alone understand me.
- Father's money is so important?
- Money is important.
And love and all that jazz?
You speak like my grandpa.
- Come let's dance.
- l must tell you something.
- Hit it, fuck! Right, Rysiek?
- Sure.
Cuntface, l won't stop calling you!
Whose cell is this?
Where's Edmund?
Edmund!
- Have you seen that?
- We'll be blamed.
You, it's your bass.
- Where's Wojnar?
- The cops have taken him.
- Under arrest?
- He drank vodka with them.
- What do we do?
- Let me think...
Fuck it!
Looking for this?
- Can we talk?
- l won't pay Father's expenses.
Not that.
See that big case?
- For the bass?
- Exactly.
Just for a moment, please.
Ow was it in the bank?
Ran out of cash?
l've got it.
- How's the work?
- The engine's ready. Pour for us too.
l'll show you something.
- What?
- The truth.
What wouyd you do in my pyace?
When your thugs beat me,
l hid in the john.
- Gramps, you stiyy there?
- No way.
Change the tune. No kidding.
- Where's the rest?
- yn your fieyd... shot off.
You shouyd've taken it.
They can sew anything on today.
Everything's fucked up.
yf he doesn't get the fieyd,
y yose the car and the money.
They quarrelled about those 2 ha.
To buy a house quickyy, a car...
These deayings not for fyowers.
A fyower hates rapacity,
just yike a woman.
- Why? Go on.
- Wait... here, you see...
Gimme!
A wedding dress is the silliest thing.
You put it on once
and 2,500 goes down the drain.
- And you shelled it out?
- Sure.
A veil a 700 to boot.
l'm 32,000 short.
Life's expensive
and a man's thirsty.
Pour, Wieslaw.
The police! Freeze!
You're surrounded.
Light it!
This will fit.
They found the guy from Walbrzych.
He collided with a truck.
Breathing his last under oxygen.
No police record, no family...
Wiyy you make over
the f'n fieyd or not?
Why the heck
did you buy that car?
For Janusz...
That was his condition.
That's not true!
He only said it
to convince Grandpa!
Janusz is not that way!
lf not then watch till the end.
You stupid?
The wedding matters...
Love wiyy come yater.
y'm bringing the notary.
Don't change your mind, okay?
What wouyd you do in my pyace?
Grandpa, is something wrong?
Father didn't want
to spoil your wedding.
And you didn't either?
You say because he
married the car, not you.
That's not true! ! !
You're just like them!
The rented hall, food for
over 5000;
though Slovakian,
the vodka another 5000.
The priest... for the matchmaking,
the Mass, and the wedding in church.
The shoes l bought for that shit,
the suit, and other things another 5000.
l wanted well
but it came out as always.
The orchestra, f'n stars...
bribes all the time...
You'll sell land and break even.
- What land?
- By the road.
A highway will run there
funded by the EU.
Pull up! ! !
Say it's not true!
That you haven't sold me!
Calm down.
Say he proposed
of his own will!
For the car?!
That's what l'm worth?!
You shouldn't have had
all those flings...
You make me puke!
l want nothing from you!
Nothing! ! !
l'll run after her...
ls the notary in the hall?
The council chair's brother?
Yes, he is.
You haven't paid
for the hall yet!
What the fuck?
Go look for Kate. She's
pissed off with you. Make up to her.
Go to the station, highway...
You'll find her.
We shayy not yieyd
Our forebears' yand,
Nor watch our yanguage muted.
We Poyish nation, gayyant race,
By the nobye Piast constituted.
By cruey oppression...
- We'yy not be swayed...
- We must talk!
- About the money?
- Don't worry, you won't lose it!
- About Grandpa's field!
- lt's over with!
l file the deed on Monday!
- We must make it void!
- You in your senses?
We can't. lt's too late!
How much?
Too late, not how much!
Five thousand!
Ten!
Seven and a half!
- Null and void?!
- That's what l'll do!
Good.
Lets go to type the paper!
l'll bring the money later.
You know l've got it!
So l'll do it later.
You know l can do it!
l have no car now...
Wait... stay put!
You've flipped out?
What're you doing?
Open the f'n door!
l'm sorry, Eluska,
l'm sorry.
You can stay here till the divorce.
Enjoy it while you can.
l'll take away everything.
What f'n divorce?
ls it about that dumbo?
lt is!
l've always stood by you.
Even battered.
But enough already!
You won't make me
a laughing stock before the village!
Let go!
You make me sick!
With this drunk?!
Look at his f'n clothes,
the car he drives...
l love him and always have.
He told me everything.
How you treated Grandpa
after his death!
lt was his idea
to hide him in the f'n john!
Don't lie!
Eluska! Eluska!
You love him.
How did you guard the house?!
You!
Kate! Kate! Fuck it!
Wanna be my husband yet?
l'm less attractive
without the car?
You thought l'd rear
someone else's brat?
Kate! Fuck it!
lt'll heal in no time!
Fuck off! ! !
You should wear
shoes at the wedding.
Get the fuck out of here,
all of you!
End of wedding. Out!
You have to pay for the hall.
You rented it.
Get the fuck out of here.
All of you.
Starring
Written and Directed by
Photography
Producers
Production Manager
Art Director
Music
Sound
Edited by
Costume Designer
Makeup
Cast of Characters
Authoring DVD:
CatMusic
THE WEDDlNG
You wanted the job,
so don't piss me off.
With this you zoom...
and with this, switch to manual...
Remember about the balance,
change of tapes,
and recharging of batteries.
The rest is simple,
like screwing. Repeat.
Like screwing.
The love of money
is the root of all evil.
Eager for it, some have wandered
from the faith
and pierced themselves
with many griefs...
For we brought nothing into
the world,
and we can take nothing out of it.
lf we have food and clothing,
we'll be content with that.
Those who want to get rich,
fall into temptation and a trap
and into many foolish
and harmful... desires.
Shoot each guest.
Screw up this wedding
and no work here for 5 years.
Go now...
- He's leaving?!
- We work together.
Where's me leading
my girl to the altar?
We reduce the costs
and it's cheaper.
Like l give a hoot!
l can afford it.
Set to or else
you won't shoot the wedding.
Where are you?!
- And if he doesn't come?
- He will. Only 1 5 min. late.
l Janusz take you Catherine
for my wedded wife...
Couldn't he have taken
a smaller camera?
- l vow...
- To love, cherish...
Say it's small
'cause it's modern.
Those whom God has joined
together let no man put asunder.
On behalf of
the Catholic Church,
l authorize and bless this matrimony
into which you have entered.
Would that you never went
boozing with us,
but always had everything home.
This will spite them
when they see it on tape.
Disperse! The police!
May you always be together,
love each other very much
and bear robust children.
l jump the line. My duties, see?
Weddings are the chief
cause of divorces, you know.
Wish you luck, good health,
and tons of dough! ! !
Katie, l'm so happy.
Gimme the flowers!
He got her with child.
That's why.
His lucky find.
Wojnar won't let them starve.
His business going south,
he's deep in debt.
All the best, dearly beloved...
That kielbasa is el cheapo,
already green and stinking.
- The cake's not yummy?
- The bigos not the cake.
l won't touch the cake...
The prick's switched off the cell.
- You've given him too much.
- So nothing up front?!
Wish you luck.
- Father Adam vouched for him, no?
- But not gratis.
So he's sure to come...
Shoot everything.
Get it?
At long last!
Father Adam's in-law?
- Name's Wojnar. Why so late?
- Late? On the dot.
- Got the money and the rest?
- l do... but not now.
Give me the keys.
Wait till l give the present.
Not all of you may know...
that - come morning,
when the wedding's over -
Kate and Janusz are off
to Croatia on honeymoon!
My present is a decent car
to help you get there fast...
- as befits a respectable couple,
not riffraff -
and when it's over,
to return safely home.
Bravo!
May they yive to be a hundred...
5000 Zl. up front and here's 45,000.
50,000 altogether. Correct?
The money, yes...
Show me the car papers,
import duty, receipt, and registration.
And the land?
Problems...
Gramps's changed his mind.
He wavers...
The deal was the car plus 2 ha of land.
l have better land for you,
closer to the wood.
l want what we agreed upon today
in writing. Such was the deal.
Don't get all worked up.
We'll reach an agreement.
Today's the deadline!
Tomorrow's another deal...
- l'll handle that.
- You had 2 weeks!
The register copy is ready.
l'll send for a notary public.
When Gramps drinks a bit...
he'll sign.
Let's drink too.
Drink we can... but no receipts.
lmagine those tongues wagging
when the priest learns
you've cheated his in-law.
Quiet!
On behalf of the parents of
the bride, l welcome our nice guests.
We hope that, on this special night,
we won't be short
of love, smile and warmth.
Kiss the bread.
Kiss, kiss... !
May they yive to be a hundred
May their yucky star never go out...
Good to see you. We need to pay
for the vodka.
The van driver wants 500 Zl. more,
'cause he paid the duty in Slovakia.
ln a pig's eye! At that price
l could've bought it in the general store.
You're hard to satisfy. Why, you've
saved a pretty penny anyway...
Five hundred.
The vodka's bitter but we won't drink
Unyess the newyyweds make it sweet.
Kiss, kiss... !
Why so long, Grandpa?
Can't you make ?
No tissue here. Get some.
- Grandpa, we have to talk.
- The land? No way!
Father Adam's in-law
wants it for the car.
You promised, so you worry now.
Because you said you didn't
need it.
Remember? ln the supermarket.
What was then is not now.
Those 2 ha not worth a damn.
Are you planning on
building a house at your age?
After all l have money.
l can buy it...
or give you a better ground
and more of it for that...
- The one l inherit.
- First, not you, but Eluska.
Second, give it to him
if it's so good.
l wanted to. But he's planning
something, as the land's by the road.
And he wants it now...
So, Grandpa, a deal?
No!
- Why not?
- Because.
Come! What is it?
They're waiting with speeches.
The deal was a down payment!
Wait!
Not in front of the people.
They want the party to start.
lntroduce me... you know how.
- A shotgun wedding, eh?
- The band's from Rzesz?w.
Familiar to all and respected,
he'll pay for your fun and games,
like he did for the Audi,
which won't be parking much.
Tomorrow, the newly weds
are off in it to Croatia.
The honeymoon trip
must've cost some too.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Wieslaw Wojnar,
a butter-and-egg man!
Expensive...
Expensive is what
money can't buy...
... which is good health and love.
What matters is that Kate
and Janusz are in love,
like l and Eluska were once.
But for her l wouldn't have
managed in business and at home.
And today l have the honor
to thank her for it.
Let's thank them for the hard
work of rearing their daughter
and preparing this wedding reception.
Three cheers for Mr. and Mrs. Wojnar...
May they yive...
- Good speech, no?
- Gimme 2,400 Zl.
- Why?
- For the cake, flowers...
the decorations, food preparation...
Everybody wants money.
You didn't say that so much.
l did!
l must drive home.
Go then,
'cause they're waiting.
Tell Kate to talk to Gramps
about the land.
He won't refuse her.
- To talk to him in the john?!
- The best chance possible.
Come.
Kate?
What're you doing in the gents'?
Everything's all right, Grandpa?
Yeah, but the bowels don't
move like they used to.
What's the matter
with that land?
- What land?
- Those 2 ha by the road...
- ... Dad talks about.
- Told you to ask me?
Asked me to ask you.
So what about it?
To you, free of charge,
but l'll never sell it to him.
This is what you'll tell him.
Are you happy with Janusz?
- Yes, Grandpa.
- That's good.
They say when he ran after you
in high school,
you wouldn't even look at him.
Now you drop out and in a trice
you're man and wife.
What else do they say?
Like why they aren't playing?
- They just have a break.
- So soon? l'll tell you.
He didn't pay them.
So greedy
he'd eat his own shit.
All he cares for is a quick buck
by hook or crook, no matter.
l won't give him the land.
- Why this break?
- No money no music.
l've had unforeseen expenses.
When the party's in full swing,
l'll bring the money right away...
- Come on set to.
- You won't fool us again
You must pay now.
The whole amount.
- Plus five centuries.
- How come?
- lnterest for the delay.
- You snot!
Listen good, unless you
bring the money now,
you play your tape recorder.
Before we pack up, we'll
say thru the mike
what cheat and swindler you are.
For everybody to hear.
- Dad, we must talk.
- What else is it?
DVD and furniture.
We have to sleep on something.
Stay here!
What're you doing here?!
Get out! Quick! Dammit!
No one will lift anything here.
But bring the keys... back at once.
The whole supply of vodka
is stored here for this party.
Don't touch any switches.
l need a notary public.
As long as you're sober, grab
a car and bring Jasiek Janocha,
- ... who lives in Piotr?wka.
- Brother of the council chair?
- The one on Antabuse?
- Exactly.
Let him take seals, stamps,
and whatever is necessary
to convey real estate.
To come to the wedding now?
Will he comply?
- l'll pay extra.
- Anything specific?
No, l'll negotiate with him.
Look, it's 1 5 km to Piotr?wka
and back
and l've been running on empty
since yesterday.
l've left my wallet home
not to lose it when l'm drunk.
Kate! More air! Open the window!
Outside. Help her up, men...
lt was the heat...
Talk to the priest.
Let him convince the in-law
to take other grounds.
What if the in-law
doesn't comply?
Tell the Stasiuks.
They can't wait
to beat someone up.
And for a few pennies...
such an in-law... with pleasure.
That's the last resort, of course.
First peacefully... through the priest.
That's the way l took you
and admire.
Okay, finish the cake.
Let's have some fun.
Why sulk?
Your daughter is married.
That's cause for happiness.
Why, l am happy.
What is it?
Something about the car?
Have you paid my in-law?
l have, but there's
a problem....
... with the land.
That strip by the road.
Gramps's had a change of heart.
l have much land,
better than that.
l'll give him three hectares in
place of those two.
Can't you, Father,
make him change his mind?
No good. l vouch for you
and you welsh on the deal.
Unsportsmanlike...
- l'll donate to the church.
- Good idea.
The roof is leaking.
We have to put in radiators.
The cost of repairs is 2,000 Zl.
Will 1 ,000 be enough?
God helping...
at promotional prices... for 1 ,000...
... and 500 they'll manage to do it.
All right.
l'll talk to my in-law.
Where is he?
- Praised be Jesus Christ.
- For ever and ever.
- You want to try, Father?
- Let me sit there.
See?... Barely a fortnight ago
in my vestry, you were choosing
which would suit your fancy.
This fills the bill to a T.
You've seen his in-law?
Dad, the papers.
l have to register and insure it.
Go back to Kate. Tongues wag
the car's matters more to you.
- Leave the keys.
- ln the car.
We're waiting by the firehouse.
- A brawl by the fence.
- Very good.
When no one is thrashed,
the wedding's a failure.
The car's a tsatske.
So... before my in-law comes,
l can receive the donation.
Enough.
Go back to the hall.
How dare you show up here?!
To spoil my wedding?
Haven't you made me
suffer enough?
Get lost
and from my life too.
Got that?
- Who's he?
- Why? Brother-in-law.
Maybe so, but not mine.
Waldek was busy, so l've
brought the sled for him to settle up,
We've honored the deal. And you?
l'm of no use here.
How come?
Under the circumstances,
l can't be a mediator.
l see him for the first time.
A contract is a contract
and you have to honor it.
Well, Mr. Wojnar,
do you have the deed or not?
lt never swerves, see?
Tell me how much
the sled is worth?
A billion and a half
old zlotys... Slow down.
And from a dealer rather than
from me? How much then?
1 50,000.
That's right. So how much money
did this car cost you?
500,000,000 old or
50,000 new Zl... Pull over.
- How much have you saved then?
- A billion...
Where're you driving me?
- Did you pay more than you thought?
- No... To Gramps's field. Why?
Was the delivery on time?
- Yes, on the dot.
- So is it the f'n color?
Turn here.
Everything as promised.
So why are you trying to cheat me?
How could l know
you only care for Gramps's field?
l thought maybe other grounds
or money...
lf it were for me,
l might take the other field.
But it's not. l was hired to bring
the car, which l did
and must take full payment,
even by cutting
your balls off. Get it?
No, you don't get it!
l have another field for you, better,
larger, and sold on better terms.
lf not, l'll beat your lights out
and you'll bring the papers in
your teeth begging forgiveness.
The deadline is at midnight.
You welsh on the deal,
l take the car and money away.
l'll shoot off your finger now...
Fuck with me again
and l'll kill your daughter.
Cry your eyes out.
l did too at my wedding.
''Wojnar's good,'' l thought,
''but he's not the one.''
l could've married up.
There was one such...
Still in love with me.
- Why didn't you marry him?
- Love's not the most important.
l don't know
what's wrong with the bigos?
What is?
- They say the sauerkraut stinks.
- Not that.
Before you know it you don't ask
yourself those questions,
too busy with... life.
You know what? l don't regret it.
Hardly anybody cares about
his family like Wieslaw does.
- Well?
- l don't smell anything...
lt tastes good.
When you must decide
that man is never around.
Put it on quick!
Faster! Faster!
Now who'll bring me
a roll of paper from the gents'?
Faster! Faster!
Grandpa...
- You still in there?
- No way!
Change the tune. No kidding.
- And the rest?
- ln your field... shot off.
And Eluska changed.
All you talk about is counting,
adding, sub...
See this? So gimme
the f'n 2 ha!
They still ogle her.
But my gardening pans out.
l earn good money.
- You plant them like potatoes...
- Bullshit.
Remember those flowers?!
Why the heck did you
buy that car?
Will you make over
the f'n field or not?
- Whose?
- My wedding present.
- Really?
- A beauty, no?
- Show me the keys.
- Father's taken them.
He wants me there with Kate,
not here.
He's bought you this car?
You must've given him head or what?
Bought it and that's that.
- Where have you been?
- On duty...
Slovakian, eh?... Smelly.
lt's meant to kick
rather than taste good.
What's the engine?
- Four-cylinder, 5-valve, turbo...
- Two camshafts on the head.
And the suspension?
- Switches of the Macpherson type.
- And triple rockers...
And the mileage?
9.2 1 00km on the average,
acceleration... 1 0... 6.4,
turning radius 1 0.40...
Dinners home...
but fewer one-night stands now...
Don't worry, everything's
gonna be fine.
To beautiful cars, women,
and guests who mount them...
To the traffic cop who drinks
but won't share vodka.
The offices are closed, but
the paper needs confirmation.
- How much?
- What paper d'you mean?
A deed to convey land.
Why not wait till Monday?
You get down to business,
and l... gotta go.
- How much.
- Depends on the percentage.
l hope it's worth doing.
- What kind of land?
- 2 ha of fallow, soil class 5.
One thousand plus stamps.
You've got the seals, stamps,
and everything?
l've even taken a portable
with me.
And the parties to the contract?
Stay put. l'll handle everything.
Where have you been?
l been looking everywhere...
The cook says the bigos is spoilt
and may upset their stomachs.
- He's no in-law.
- Who then?
The in-law's friend hired
to bring the car here.
- Agreed?
- No.
The land's not for him.
- For whom?
- The in-law.
l don't know.
when they build something...
we'll see. But Gramps agreed.
He'll convey it and it's over with.
- Your hand?!
- l'll explain later.
First Gramps before
he changes his mind again.
- Do we serve the bigos?
- When it's over, l'll have some.
Go now...
- Nothing doing.
- What?
Dead. His heart stopped
from all that shitting.
- Get a doctor!
- What's the use? He's dead.
You, a vet, know?
About cows not people!
- Bullshit! He's a goner.
- What do we do?
We better hide him...
only to find him in the morn.
Makes no difference to him.
He found him. Come hold the door...
No one must enter.
We'll put him on the seat,
lock up and it's over with.
- They'll find him.
- Nobody will catch on...
Kate's wedding must go on.
All right. Let's pick him up...
Not a peep from you!
l'll pay double.
Occupied!
Help me up! ...
Good.
Couldn't he f'n have waited
for half an hour?
No sinner got away alive
from the disaster.
And the silence of death
spread over the town.
Love one another, like Christ
loved the church
and sacrificed himself for her.
Because love...
Come and eat something.
Not good on an empty stomach.
Bigos is served.
Careful! ... Don't scratch her...
l need you there.
- You do now? And when l...
- Here you go again.
You promised
not to mention that.
Ed's back. We call the Stasiuks,
take him outside and six feet under...
- He's got a gun.
- Alone he can do nothing.
You have to doctor the deed.
Let's sit tight till he's tipsy
but not loaded.
l wish the newly weds
a very large amount of money.
Not the best moment.
You gave me a start.
lf l were a dog, l'd be nine.
Copy of the grounds register?
Subject to evidence,
kind of ownership, area...
- Correct?
- Yes. Name's Wincenty Mr?z.
That's my wife's maiden name.
Now we write that Grandpa
conveys the grounds to so and so...
- Where's he?
- ln Walbrzych.
The owner!
l make the deed, Mr. Mr?z signs,
and l officially confirm it.
The proper sequence
is important in my work.
There's a problem...
Grandpa's dead.
You want to put me in deep shit?
l come at night, on a day off,
to help you,
only to hear it's to be forged?!
When l sent for you,
he was still alive.
lnteresting. Maybe he still is?
You'd have me believe
he agreed to convey the field...
- ... for a paltry one thousand?
- How much?
Such a fraud with a stiff?
Ten thousand!
How much?!
The field's not worth it!
Suit yourself, Mr. Wojnar.
l can still catch a bus... Good bye.
- 5,000?
- Good bye!
7,500 and that's that.
l'm going.
My wife's waiting.
You won't f'n budge... A deal.
Wife should respect husband's
decisions
and he should respect her.
And love her...
''To want or not is the same.''
''Not to want means
to want not to want.''
You know who wrote it?
To Peter Shilton for 1 :0.
How come you've got it?
After Lato passed the ball
at the 57th min. Oct. 1 7, 1 973.
He doesn't believe this is
Jasio Domarski's original.
He's not worth showing it.
- l hear you've bought the Audi?
- So what?
Edmund, lend me your car.
l have a flat but must get home.
From a German used car lot
or at secondhand here?
You off duty, no?
You know how l love my car.
l've driven her for 1 3 years
and still want to.
Find a broad to love
rather than a jalopy.
Laugh you may, but mine's
a Ferrari of her make.
When l drive her, of course.
Too hard for you...
Bullshit. l'll be right back.
Scratch her and you pay
for the repair.
Why not the Audi?
Go away now!
- Been drinking?
- l've borrowed the car.
l've left the papers
but have my driver's license.
Only two glasses...
lt's my daughter's wedding...
Get out of the car.
Blow here till the green goes out.
l'm in a hurry. My daughter's
wedding, see? A special day.
Nothing.
A grown-up man but can't blow?
We can reach an agreement.
Name's Wieslaw Wojnar.
1 .20. We requisition her.
We must take away your license
and send you to the judge.
- Officer, let's bend some rules.
- No way... Too many of them.
You know Ed Was?
Well, he's at the wedding.
My kinsman.
- He is?
- Yeah... How much?
- One thousand.
- The fuck how much?!
One f'n thousand.
Drunken driving, no car papers,
at the crossing sans turn signal,
no seat belt, and the right stoplight.
Only 1 ,1 00
'cause you're Ed Was's family.
Three centuries less and
l invite you to the wedding.
All right, gimme.
l've got nothing on me.
l must get home but will return
to the firehouse immediately.
My daughter's getting married.
lf so, we keep this.
Zero! ... Go!
The trick is to pump up your
balloon the fastest.
Which lady is going
to make the big bang first?
Strain your will win...
Still some more...
Ferrari of the make, my ass!
Stop!
Want your kids fabulous,
use Polish rubbers!
Have they beaten you up badly?
When's the delivery?
Why have you come here?
To see if it's love and happiness
and then to beat it.
l've seen so l beat it.
Wojnar needs the keys
to this storeroom.
They're asking about you.
lt's almost midnight and the
ceremonial capping is prepared.
First...
Correct?
Second...
Third... Fourth...
Two witnesses. You may be
one, so get another.
And Gramps's lD.
- And without it?
- How?
l must have all personal data,
PlN and all.
Excellent!
Come you'll watch the door
while l get to Gramps.
No way!
My duty is
to write the deed,
not to rob the remains
or be an accomplice to murder.
Look at them fight!
Kaziuk, come here.
You want to earn some money?
Have you seen
how messy the toilets are?
The sanitary commission
may come and fine you.
Really?
Don't you know how folks
love to spite others?
Someone must've called them
already.
Maybe those newcomers
nosing about... Been invited?
- No.
- You see?
Let's liquidate the evidence.
Scoop up all that's left on the plates.
Januszewska's got drunk
and is doing striptease,
both her tits bared...
- Where's Gramps?
- Not here.
No paper in the ladies' room.
The sanitary commission...
So yummy that
they've gorged on it.
- Has he signed it?
- Yes... No... l mean yes,
l'm not finished with the in-law.
Nobody's seen him.
l'm worried.
Must be home.
His bowel movement...
That's what l mean.
What did he eat yesterday?
His coat is inside.
Where's Gramps?
Gramps has vanished. Any idea?
Gimme the key to the storeroom.
Edmund! Edmund!...
''ln the presence of...'' l've put you
and now Mr. Edmund.
All right. To who?
l antedated it.
On Monday, l'll have the county
enter it in the land register.
Signatures now.
Witnesses first.
You... here.
Sign.
- What?
- Shmot. Sign...
Here... Good.
Now who forges Grandpa's?
And now mine...
the most important.
J-a-n-o-c-h-a.
How strong!
l can't so much without a chaser.
But after work? Why not?
My beloved... l wish you
truth, goodness, and beauty.
l wish you fine weather in Croatia.
They say it's a wild country,
worse than Poland.
Less cultured, that is.
My friend says like hell it is.
Leave your car open
in the street and... nothing.
When they drink, they play
and sing, not thrash one another.
Their johns are cleaner, unlike
here, ankle high in piss.
May your whole life be
as beautiful as this night.
Beat it!
l can't even relax here.
And the deal?
- What's the f'n time?
- lt's ready.
By the Audi in 1 0 min.
And puts her right hand on it...
May you persevere
through difficult moment.
l must talk to you.
No problems with Gramps?
Well...
That's good.
Don't be angry
about the finger.
You shouldn't have pissed me
off with that intimidation.
Money brings no happiness,
but you should have it.
First, because it doesn't
disturb happiness.
Second...
The bigos didn't upset
my stomach!
O kidding. Lets scoop up
what's left on the plates.
Let's liquidate the evidence,
l'll be right back.
Now a competition for true he-men.
The rules are terribly simple.
Terrible and simple, that is.
You have to smoke, drink,
and practice sports.
Volunteers are welcome!
Don't play a fool, you hear?
Never tell me what to do!
Gentlemen, on the word go,
drink vodka...
Three, two, one... down the hatch!
Now cigarettes. Three for each.
Piece of cake for virile men.
Light up!
Slowly... lnhale deep...
One... two...
Seven... eight... nine.
Mr. Janusz, please.
Don't back out, gentlemen.
lt's just the beginning.
One... Down the hatch!
And smokes!
Squatting again!
One...
What happened to Mr. Janusz?
First to pass out.
A good boy, he.
But he sometimes drinks too
much and then you know...
Put him in the back.
- Don't let him puke.
- E... xactly...
Don't tear his head off.
Remember the competition
at Kurczukowa's wedding?
How can l? l passed out
right after Edmund.
l gorged on drippings before,
only to wake up in intensive care.
A heart attack was in progress...
We were young and stupid...
l gotta go...
A guy's kicking up a row
in the john.
Talks about you all the time.
Fully loaded.
You'd like to know...
You know what he
fucking asked me...?
The fuck l'll tell you.
Shut your trap.
Enough for today.
- l was to be driven home.
- Come, let's the others use it too.
Signature, seals,... 1 5-min work
and l bag ten thousand...
l'll f'n tell you...
lf you have more money...
Am l right, Wieslaw?
l won't part with the briefcase...
No...
l know you can hit me
in the dark now... But no way!
Gramps hears everything
in hell now... Hush, Gramps.
Shut up!
Edmund...
Get up! Come.
l dreamed of attending
a teetotaller's wedding.
- Come.
- Why are you pulling me?
Come up for air. lt'll do you good.
And drive the notary home.
He starts to talk too much...
Too drunk. They'll take away
my license and l'll lose my job.
By bus to sick animals?
You're used to it.
Want some water?
Fish fuck in water.
Been invited to a wedding,
not to be a cabby.
l'll pay you 50 Zl.
Only change on your mind.
l'd risk if it were 300.
1 00... 1 50... 200... no more... 250!
The notary has turned tail!
lt's tempting, fuck it, no?
But the dough's well hidden
from thieves.
l checked if you hadn't
lost the papers.
l didn't expect that of you,
Mr. Wojnar.
Edmund will drive you home.
High time!
lt's scary to stay here!
Thieves! Corpses!
Why are you staring at me?
l saw you doing something.
Talented, aren't you?
Hair still sticking
out of your teeth.
- And you'll tell everybody now?
- l may not...
lf you do me the same,
l'll think it over.
lt's too good for the likes of you.
You prick, you!
lt's not my fault!
l haven't do anything!
- Who?
- Me!
The drain's burst in the gents'!
lt stinks abominably!
- And it the field too!
- Nowhere to pour it into.
We must take it out of here,
as they keep asking for more.
- lt tastes good.
- Where do we hide it?
ln the storeroom where
l keep vodka.
Good. lt'd be easier to parade
with the pot across the hall.
The lid!
- Good.
- Let's go.
Fuck it!
- Will it take long?
- Must be the fuse.
- Have you seen Eluska?
- Everything's fine?
No...
You must've met.
Sergeant Stys.
You've invited us to the wedding.
Well, everything's squared
with them?
lt's none of my business,
But the Audi... stinks.
- You've bought stolen goods.
- Bullshit!
Cars from Germany
have different plates.
Those are requisitioned
after sale.
Check Audi turbo coupe,
silver print with German plates.
Numbers HHH G301 .
You know him?
Drops your name all the time.
You here?
We've requisitioned everything.
Breathalyser test 1 .9.
Help me. They want to
take away the car, papers,
and send me to the judge
for drunken driving.
- The car's left at the crossing.
- And the notary?
He's just drunk a tad too much.
Let him go.
He ignored our signal and
rammed the squad car.
The mudguard's corrugated.
Ed, see all my problems?
Stand up for the family.
You two cops
will find a way out.
They're down to 800.
He has 350.
You chip in?
He was driving.
Why should l pay?
l'll pay!
Because l can.
Can't l, Wieslaw?
Beat it!
302 to 301 Report!
301 Over.
The Audi's is Gerd Muyyer's
of Hamburg, Schyoss Str. 23.
All guys should have
their balls cut off.
You cheated on me.
My husband may some day too.
He doesn't love you.
Fan-fucking-tastic!
He's switched off the cell.
lf we don't requisition it,
someone else will.
Where will you be driving her?
ln the forest?
No car, no money, and
the honeymoon trip's kaput.
- Maybe we could...
- You crazy?
You a cop or a Mafioso?
Bullshit.
l want to help the man, no?
Those plates from the action,
where we had to kill a Russky ?
- They're requisitioned.
- l'll pay!
Our time's up.
Take care of the Audi.
- We'll change the numbers.
- lt's been reported already.
Not yet. Come morning.
lf we try, it won't be at all.
lt's foul business
and a great risk.
But will pay off, right, Wieslaw?
Sure it will.
5000 to split.
Abortion or wedding.
He won't keep a girl with a bastard.
Why didn't l leave?
Where? Penniless? What for?
Who'd have given me a job?
How to feed the baby?
Where could l have lived?
For my finger
and the f'n car.
- We'll do it.
- We f'n will!
Just polish and it's over with.
- And those?
- Acid will do the trick.
- We need an engraver.
- Why? Can't you turn 8 into 3?
Good.
Start working on it.
l'll bring the plates and papers.
- And he?
- Let him sleep.
- And l?
- To the f'n bank for the money.
Will you give me a ride?
Straight ahead all the time.
- No smoking here.
- Will you find the guy?
Not on a private basis.
- What's this?
- His data...
Nothing doing.
lt'll give me trouble.
You'll soon shell out a lot
for the scratched car.
So what's this paltry century?
l once knew a broad
from the D.A.'s office.
301 to 1 1 ... 1 1 .
- You'll get it to the last penny.
- You owe me nothing.
- Will they find him?
- lf he's in the files.
But it'll take time.
Get the money.
We'll meet at Ed's.
Eluska?...
Are you there?
Thirty-five seconds!
And the winner is... Mr. Edmund!
Edmund! Edmund! ...
Strutting in this schmatte again,
making a fool of yourself?
Why has Eluska run away?
- How come?
- And Wieslaw followed...
Must've quarrelled about money.
He wanted to hitch then.
He took ill when l went to college.
Especially, when he learned
l had someone.
He thinks l'll hurt him.
Time will pass
but l'll never love him.
He won't even notice that.
You're stupid.
But give me a hug.
That's a good dog...
You alone understand me.
- Father's money is so important?
- Money is important.
And love and all that jazz?
You speak like my grandpa.
- Come let's dance.
- l must tell you something.
- Hit it, fuck! Right, Rysiek?
- Sure.
Cuntface, l won't stop calling you!
Whose cell is this?
Where's Edmund?
Edmund!
- Have you seen that?
- We'll be blamed.
You, it's your bass.
- Where's Wojnar?
- The cops have taken him.
- Under arrest?
- He drank vodka with them.
- What do we do?
- Let me think...
Fuck it!
Looking for this?
- Can we talk?
- l won't pay Father's expenses.
Not that.
See that big case?
- For the bass?
- Exactly.
Just for a moment, please.
Ow was it in the bank?
Ran out of cash?
l've got it.
- How's the work?
- The engine's ready. Pour for us too.
l'll show you something.
- What?
- The truth.
What wouyd you do in my pyace?
When your thugs beat me,
l hid in the john.
- Gramps, you stiyy there?
- No way.
Change the tune. No kidding.
- Where's the rest?
- yn your fieyd... shot off.
You shouyd've taken it.
They can sew anything on today.
Everything's fucked up.
yf he doesn't get the fieyd,
y yose the car and the money.
They quarrelled about those 2 ha.
To buy a house quickyy, a car...
These deayings not for fyowers.
A fyower hates rapacity,
just yike a woman.
- Why? Go on.
- Wait... here, you see...
Gimme!
A wedding dress is the silliest thing.
You put it on once
and 2,500 goes down the drain.
- And you shelled it out?
- Sure.
A veil a 700 to boot.
l'm 32,000 short.
Life's expensive
and a man's thirsty.
Pour, Wieslaw.
The police! Freeze!
You're surrounded.
Light it!
This will fit.
They found the guy from Walbrzych.
He collided with a truck.
Breathing his last under oxygen.
No police record, no family...
Wiyy you make over
the f'n fieyd or not?
Why the heck
did you buy that car?
For Janusz...
That was his condition.
That's not true!
He only said it
to convince Grandpa!
Janusz is not that way!
lf not then watch till the end.
You stupid?
The wedding matters...
Love wiyy come yater.
y'm bringing the notary.
Don't change your mind, okay?
What wouyd you do in my pyace?
Grandpa, is something wrong?
Father didn't want
to spoil your wedding.
And you didn't either?
You say because he
married the car, not you.
That's not true! ! !
You're just like them!
The rented hall, food for
over 5000;
though Slovakian,
the vodka another 5000.
The priest... for the matchmaking,
the Mass, and the wedding in church.
The shoes l bought for that shit,
the suit, and other things another 5000.
l wanted well
but it came out as always.
The orchestra, f'n stars...
bribes all the time...
You'll sell land and break even.
- What land?
- By the road.
A highway will run there
funded by the EU.
Pull up! ! !
Say it's not true!
That you haven't sold me!
Calm down.
Say he proposed
of his own will!
For the car?!
That's what l'm worth?!
You shouldn't have had
all those flings...
You make me puke!
l want nothing from you!
Nothing! ! !
l'll run after her...
ls the notary in the hall?
The council chair's brother?
Yes, he is.
You haven't paid
for the hall yet!
What the fuck?
Go look for Kate. She's
pissed off with you. Make up to her.
Go to the station, highway...
You'll find her.
We shayy not yieyd
Our forebears' yand,
Nor watch our yanguage muted.
We Poyish nation, gayyant race,
By the nobye Piast constituted.
By cruey oppression...
- We'yy not be swayed...
- We must talk!
- About the money?
- Don't worry, you won't lose it!
- About Grandpa's field!
- lt's over with!
l file the deed on Monday!
- We must make it void!
- You in your senses?
We can't. lt's too late!
How much?
Too late, not how much!
Five thousand!
Ten!
Seven and a half!
- Null and void?!
- That's what l'll do!
Good.
Lets go to type the paper!
l'll bring the money later.
You know l've got it!
So l'll do it later.
You know l can do it!
l have no car now...
Wait... stay put!
You've flipped out?
What're you doing?
Open the f'n door!
l'm sorry, Eluska,
l'm sorry.
You can stay here till the divorce.
Enjoy it while you can.
l'll take away everything.
What f'n divorce?
ls it about that dumbo?
lt is!
l've always stood by you.
Even battered.
But enough already!
You won't make me
a laughing stock before the village!
Let go!
You make me sick!
With this drunk?!
Look at his f'n clothes,
the car he drives...
l love him and always have.
He told me everything.
How you treated Grandpa
after his death!
lt was his idea
to hide him in the f'n john!
Don't lie!
Eluska! Eluska!
You love him.
How did you guard the house?!
You!
Kate! Kate! Fuck it!
Wanna be my husband yet?
l'm less attractive
without the car?
You thought l'd rear
someone else's brat?
Kate! Fuck it!
lt'll heal in no time!
Fuck off! ! !
You should wear
shoes at the wedding.
Get the fuck out of here,
all of you!
End of wedding. Out!
You have to pay for the hall.
You rented it.
Get the fuck out of here.
All of you.
Starring
Written and Directed by
Photography
Producers
Production Manager
Art Director
Music
Sound
Edited by
Costume Designer
Makeup
Cast of Characters
Authoring DVD:
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