The Truth About Christmas (2018) - full transcript

Follows Jillian, a successful political consultant, confident in her ability to put a spin on anything whose next big project is the upcoming mayoral campaign for her boyfriend, George. On ...

(Festive Music)

♪ Jingle bells and
colored lights ♪

♪ Cocoa after snowball fights ♪

(Phone Ringing)

JILLIAN: Hey, Zoe.

ZOE: Wake up, woman!

You're trending.


ZOE: The article has landed.

Lace up, New York.

Jillian Welles has arrived.


ZOE: Your life is turning into
one big Sparksy app.

I just sent you the link,

JILLIAN: Thank you.



GEORGE: "New York's next
political power couple."


JILLIAN: Don't you love it?

GEORGE: Oh, it's about time.

JILLIAN: So good.

GEORGE: Yeah, let's get to it
then, huh?

JILLIAN: Get out of here!


(Jingle Music)

GEORGE: The City Oasis Project.

Something special.

Something that we can build
for our children

so they can hand it down
to their children.

This is our home.

Do we need another condominium

GEORGE: That's right.

This can be a space where
everyone in the community

can come together, share.

Where you can learn to
cook a fiesta

and you can learn to code
if you liked.

Where we can all come together
to connect,

lean, exercise, socialize.

We can't just keep adding

(Phone Buzzing)

GEORGE: In short, my friends,

what we need to ensure
we build here

is a greater sense of community.

Thank you all so much
for coming.


JUAN: Miss Welles.

Miss Welles, when Councilmen
Beauman first ran,

didn't he say that housing
and development

were the path to the future?

JILLIAN: I don't recall him ever
saying that, Juan,

but I will look into it for you.

Excuse me, Lorraine!

Love the hat.

You have such an amazing
sense of style.

Good to see you, excuse me.

THERESA: Jillian!

There you are.

Hot off the presses.

Pancake Breakfast Rally on
the 15th with George

leading the charge to city hall.

JILLIAN: I love it.

It's gonna be a tremendous

THERESA: Oh, since you got
George on board,

I am finally starting
to believe that

the City Oasis Project
is gonna happen.

JILLIAN: Well it is our number
one priority.

THERESA: Oh, I almost forgot
to tell you.

The other day, I came across the
most adorable photo of you

from when you first started
to volunteer here.

You couldn't have been
more than 20.

JILLIAN: Theresa.
THERESA: And look at you now.

And that article.

You're like a celebrity.

JILLIAN: Oh, stop, you're the
celebrity around here.

I'm so sorry, George is
late for a meeting.

I will see you soon.

JILLIAN: Love you.

THERESA: See you at the


JUAN: Councilman, I need
your comment on.

JILLIAN: Great to see you, Juan,
great to see everyone.

Thank you for a lovely day,
George, we've gotta go.

REPORTERS: There they are.

Councilman, answer the
big question!

Is it true, are you running
for mayor?

JILLIAN: Absolutely no decision
has been made.

Anything you've heard
is purely rumor.

REPORTER: Oh, come on.

JILLIAN: Honestly, guys, there's
no tea to be spilled here.

George's soul focus remains his
role as city councilman.

I'll be signing the lease on the
new campaign headquarters

as soon as you leave
for Connecticut.


GEORGE: Perfect.

Thanks for coming everyone,
Merry Christmas!

(Upbeat Music)

GEORGE: So, how'd
the article end?

JILLIAN: Really great.

Lots of comments and engagement
and likes.

GEORGE: Excellent.

(Camera Snapping)

GEORGE: Theresa did great
with this.

Love the big stack of pancakes
but come on,

no syrup?

JILLIAN: They do look kinda dry.



JILLIAN: What is it?

GEORGE: Bill Festerman's
arranging a golf weekend

to introduce me to some big
potential donors.

JILLIAN: That's fantastic, so?

GEORGE: It is.

But it's the weekend of
the 15th.

JILLIAN: George, they are
counting on you.

You're their headliner.

GEORGE: I know, I didn't realize
it was the same weekend.

JILLIAN: This is why you have to
confirm everything with me

before you commit to it.

GEORGE: I know, you're right.

I feel awful.

But there will be other events

and we discussed this once we
announce on Christmas.

Our focus has to be on
the campaign.

It's already been set up.

JILLIAN: This has already been
set up too.

GEORGE: Yes, but we will need
those donors.

JILLIAN: George.

I will handle it.
GEORGE: That's my girl.

(Phone Chiming)

THERESA: What's up, sweetie?

JILLIAN: Theresa, hi, I am in
the car with George

and we just realized there is
a major scheduling conflict.

He now has a leadership
conference on the 15th.

THERESA: Oh, well.

Well, what time does he leave?

Maybe he can just rally the
troops at breakfast.

JILLIAN: I don't think that's
gonna work, Theresa.

He actually flies out the
evening before.

I'm so sorry.

THERESA: Jillian, don't,
I trust you.

I know you would never cancel
unless you absolutely had to.

Merry Christmas.

(Mysterious Music)

JILLIAN: It's done.

GEORGE: Thank you.

JILLIAN: Hold my hand, kiss it.

GEORGE: You're the best.

Merry Christmas.

JILLIAN: Indeed.

GEORGE: I'm a terrible


GEORGE: I ate all of your
sashimi when you went

to the ladies room.

JILLIAN: Oh, please, I wasn't
even really hungry.

GEORGE: I wish I could wait.

Then we could go together but
I gotta make it in time

for that symphony fundraiser

JILLIAN: It's okay.

I can send you a copy
of the lease

and pack for the weekend

and then, just a few hours.


GEORGE: This is gonna
be perfect.

A chance for us to sort out

before he campaign storm hits.

I can't believe we're really
doing it.

JILLIAN: Announcing your run for
mayor of New York City

on Christmas Day!

GEORGE: And I cannot wait to
introduce you to my family.

They're going to love you
because you're perfect.

JILLIAN: Well lucky for me,

parents are kind of
my strong suit.

I'm sure I'm gonna love
them too.

They made you, honey.

GEORGE: I love you.
JILLIAN: I love you too.

JILLIAN: Ketchup, mustard,
old pickles.

I can't believe we don't have
any food in here.

I'm starving

and I'm really nervous about
meeting George's parents.

ZOE: "According to Miss Welles,

"she remembered seeing
Mr. Beauman

"speak at city council meetings

"and being quite impressed
by him."

Yeah, try obsessed.

"According to Beauman,

"he met Miss Welles when he
first considered

"running for higher office

"and she came on board
the exploratory committee.


"The second Jillian walked
through the door,

"I knew she had something

Yeah, you got something
special all right.

ZOE: Look at us.

Just a couple of gals from
humble beginnings.

JILLIAN: Who knew, right?

ZOE: Oh, man.

Political power couple.

In love and basically living

Which reminds me.

This is all the mail that came
while you've been shacking up.

Put your name on it
and everything.

JILLIAN: Thank you very much.

Another thing.


You kinda have to keep that
whole detail of us

living together under wraps

because George's parents
are very, very conservative.

ZOE: Okay, that's weird.

JILLIAN: Something I also
haven't told you.

ZOE: Oh my God, what?

You're pregnant?

Two top political consulting

have reached out to me.

I had to play coy with them
about George running

but they pretty much said that
if everything goes well,

I can pretty much write
my own ticket.

ZOE: Oh my God, Jillian,
that's huge!

JILLIAN: We gotta toast to that.
ZOE: Oh, we do.

JILLIAN: To the perfect weekend.

(Phone Ringing)

ZOE: Oh, look, it's the other

of the political power couple.

JILLIAN: Hi, hon.

GEORGE: Hey, sweetie,
we're all set.

Everything's in place for
the symphony.

Festerman's locked in.

You'll finally get to meet
his wife, Irene.

And my family,

well, they're dying to
get you up here.

Let's just say, that article
was a big hit.

JILLIAN: Well thanks for sending
the car.

I'll be there in no time.

GEORGE: You're the best.

I mean that.

Oh and I almost forgot.

You're basically a hero
around here.

Thanks for picking up that Poppy
Dot for my little niece.

My sister says she can't stop
talking about it.

JILLIAN: I'm sorry, what?

GEORGE: The Poppy Dot.

For Megan.

Remember, I told her if she
got her grades up

I'd get it for her for

You said you'd take care of it.

JILLIAN: Ummm...

GEORGE: Please tell me you
didn't forget it.

We were counting on you.

JILLIAN: No, no, no,
I didn't forget.

GEORGE: Megan worked her butt
off to get straight A's

and we already told her she
was getting it.

She went absolutely nuts.

JILLIAN: I didn't forget,
it was, you know, the wifi.

It was like.


JILLIAN: You know?

GEORGE: Thank God.

You scared me.

I thought you--

JILLIAN: Oh hey, here it is
right here.

ZOE: Why are you waving my
vintage underwear around?

Hi, George.

JILLIAN: I have it.

No worries.

GEORGE: You never forget.

You're my ace.

You always have my back.

All right, I'll see you soon.

I love you.

JILLIAN: Okay, love you too,


ZOE: What is wrong with you?

JILLIAN: I know, I'm stuck and
I just lied to George.

Now I gotta go find some thing
called a Poppy Dot.

I can't believe I forgot.

Between the campaign
and the holidays

and trying to meet these

I just blanked.

ANNOUNCER: Spice up your holiday
with the hottest new tech toy!

KIDS: The Poppy Dot!

ANNOUNCER: Explore a world
of fun.

Just tell the Poppy Dot what
you want to do.

KIDS: Tell me a story.

can suggest

all sorts of fun activities.
POPPY DOT: Let's make a video!

ANNOUNCER: Use the app for
custom colors and navigation.

Poppy Dot will be your
best friend!

ZOE: Those things creep me out.

It's like an Alexa, a Home Pod
and a strobe light

had a three-way and then somehow
had a baby.

JILLIAN: Well it looks like now
I'll be stopping off

to get a Poppy Dot.

ZOE: Hello, I don't think so.

Poppy Dot went It-Toy status.

They're sold out everywhere.

POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot loves

ZOE: Sold out, sold out!

JILLIAN: Why won't they pick up!

ZOE: Can't you just call George
back and tell him the truth?

JILLIAN: No, I can't!

It just dawned on me that this
whole Dot thing

is a really big deal to Megan.

I mean, this is the only present

that she even really asked for

and I told George
I already had it

and I even used a visual.

This is the first impression
I'm making on these people,

I cannot tell them
I forgot about it

and then lies about it,
are you kidding me?!

ZOE: Wait, it says Colossal Toys
has one left still.

ZOE: Let's go!


SANTA: Merry Christmas!

JILLIAN: Sorry, I already gave
at the office!

(Suspenseful Music)

JILLIAN: Poppy Dots, Poppy Dots!

ZOE: Thirsty for Poppy Dots!


JILLIAN: Thank God, we did it.

what're you doing?

That was mine.

You don't understand.

I have to have that, okay,
I was right here.

GIRL: Maybe you should be like
Elsa from "Frozen"

and let it go.

ZOE: You just got owned by
a 10 year old.

JILLIAN: I need that dot.

ZOE: So what're you gonna do?

JILLIAN: I don't know.

Maybe go see if you can bribe a
store manager or something.

Maybe somebody put one on hold.

ZOE: Okay.

JILLIAN: Oh, hi.


Remember me?

GIRL: Our encounter is forever
etched into my brain.

JILLIAN: Oh, good.


I know you might not be allowed
to take money from strangers

but since you remember
me so well,

maybe you can take some
money from me.

Whatever money app you prefer.

I'm willing to go pretty
high here.

That's a real no, huh?


That's fine.

That's okay.

To think, it's all because
of that

cute little puppy.

GIRL: What puppy?
JILLIAN: Oh, wow.

I mean, the box design is great.

Just so harmonious with
the coloring

and the way the font just pops,
you know?

It's like "Pop-Pee-Dot, yes!"

You know, just marketing

In a five by five box.

So beautiful.

GIRL: What about the puppy?

JILLIAN: Oh, I'm sorry.

You didn't hear all that?

All the commotion.

The little girl racing around
the store,

looking for her lost puppy?

It was terrible.

Here I was, you know, with the
Poppy Dot in my hand

and I was at the register
about to pay,

but then who do I see

in the dinosaur aisle.

Cute fur ball of joy just trying
to survive on his own.

I put down the Dot, you know,
and I ran to get him.

I put my name on the box,

figuring I could come back for
it later, you know?

That's my name right there.

It said, "Jillian."

I'm Jillian.


GIRL: Oh, your name is on it.

You did save that puppy.


GIRL: You should have it.

JILLIAN: Really?

GIRL: Merry Christmas.

JILLIAN: Merry Christmas.


JILLIAN: Ho, ho, Santa.

Were you?

SANTA: Did you lie to that
little girl

to get the last Poppy Dot?

JILLIAN: I don't even think this
is the last one.

They have a bunch more
on back order.

So, I mean,

you know.

Technically, this isn't any of
your business anyway.

You know, you give out your
gifts, I give out mine.

What's the big deal?

You should put your own name
on the naughty list.

You don't even know me to judge
me the way you judge me.

That's not even fair.

(Ominous Music)

SANTA: You're right.

Looks like I don't know you
at all anymore.

ZOE: You got it!

(Upbeat Music)

♪ Walking under
the falling snow ♪

♪ All of the Christmas
lights a glow ♪

♪ Kiss me under the mistletoe ♪

♪ Cause I know that you know
I want you ♪

DRIVER: Everything all right
back there, ma'am?

JILLIAN: Everything's great.

Everything is absolutely


POPPY DOT: Lies are bad.

(Pleasant Music)

GRANDMA: Here she comes.

GEORGE: You made it.

GEORGE: And Blake, he wanted
to be here

but he was too busy at
the hardware store

making the house look like
it's on the Vegas strip.

Nobody wants to rein him
in on that.

FATHER: George.
GEORGE: Well, it's tacky, Dad.

GRANDMA: Now I hope
you're hungry.

I made something special
for you.

It's an old family recipe that
I make every year.

Has George told you about it?

JILLIAN: Oh yes, the toxic stew.

(Ominous Music)

JILLIAN: That's what they
called it

when they warned me about it
on the telephone.


(Ominous Music)

JILLIAN: Family tradition and
torture all in one bowl.


GEORGE: I told you,
she's hilarious.

Grandma, she's kidding,
she's just kidding, right?

JILLIAN: George said that the
dog almost died last year.

He had to get his stomach pumped

with some kind of
a black charcoal.

The vet visit was $800 dollars
plus meds.

I think they boarded him this
year just to save his life.


GEORGE: She is a riot.

You just won't stop.

FATHER: Let's get the luggage,

GEORGE: Good idea, Dad.

MOTHER: Here we go, it's all
right, there we go.

POPPY DOT: Santa says
nobody likes a liar.

MOTHER: Jillian, are you
coming, dear?



MOTHER: Welcome.

This is our home.

JILLIAN: It's lovely.
MOTHER: Thank you.

Oh, I have to show you this.

I just picked this up last week
at a charity auction

for the Audubon Society.

What do you think?
JILLIAN: It's bad.

Ah, what I mean is,

it's really bad, like it should
be named,

"Why Cocktails Should Be Banned
At Charity Auctions."

MOTHER: Shall I show you
to your room?

JILLIAN: I would like that
very much.


JILLIAN: Mrs. Beauman.

JILLIAN: I don't know what is
happening with me.

But I do know that I would like
to impress you very much

and normally I'm quite good
at that.

I did have a few tequila shots
with my friend before I came.

Maybe that, coupled with
my nerves,

is the cause of all this.

MOTHER: That's all right, dear.

Between you and I,

I may have had a few cocktails
at the auction, myself.


MOTHER: Just up here.

Oh, that's Lacey.

JILLIAN: Pretty.

And there's George.


And my baby, Blake.

Isn't he adorable?
JILLIAN: Huge head.

MOTHER: Trust me, dear,
I remember.

We have you and George
in separate bedrooms.

That's just the way we do things
around here

for those who are unwed.

I hope you don't mind.

Do you?


I spends seven nights
a week with George.

He's a total blanket hogger.

I'm actually looking forward
to the break.

Not to mention the snoring.

MOTHER: Seven nights a week.

So basically, you--

JILLIAN: We're basically living

Cohabiting, syncopating.

Whatever you wanna call it.

Good talk, bye.

Dammit, what is happening to me?


POPPY DOT: Liar, liar,
pants on fire.

Yes, you, Jillian.

(Mysterious Music)


JILLIAN: Poppy Dot,

what did you just say?

POPPY DOT: Merry Christmas.

I'm your personal Poppy Dot.

Want to play a game?



JILLIAN: Oh my goodness.

POPPY DOT: Let's count
how many times

Jillian has lied today.

(Jillian Screams)

POPPY DOT: Two, three, four,

five, six.

MOTHER: Jillian?

JILLIAN: Shut up, Poppy Dot!

MOTHER: Jillian,
are you all right?

JILLIAN: Uh, no.

MOTHER: Do you want me
to come in?

JILLIAN: God, no!

I mean,

the toy I bought for Megan talks

and it just scared me,
that's all.

MOTHER: Well, that was
quite a scream.

JILLIAN: Yeah, that's me.

I'm a screamer.

Thank God I'm not sleeping in
a room with George.


MOTHER: Well, as long
as you're all right.


(Christmas Music)

(Phone Jingling)

ZOE: Hold on one sec,
Jill, okay?

JILLIAN: Help me!

ZOE: Jillian, are you all right?


Something is happening to me and
I don't know what it is.

I think I've been cursed
by Santa.

ZOE: Okay, I don't think that's
what Santa does.

Maybe you're confusing Santa
with Satan.

JILLIAN: I know how to spell,

I lied to the little girl
in the store

and when Santa asked me if
I lied, I lied to him too

and now the Poppy Dot
is taunting me!

ZOE: Right,
Santa made your tech turn.

JILLIAN: I don't know, okay?

I just know I remember the way
he was looking at me

with those disapproving eyes,

Something has happened.

Suddenly I can't lie.

ZOE: That's hysterical.

You work in politics.

JILLIAN: That's very funny.

Look, I've been here
five minutes

and already I've insulted
George's mom's painting,

I told her her son had
a big head.

You don't even wanna know,
the worst of all,

as soon as I got here
I was like--


GRANDMA: Jillian, it's Grandma.

JILLIAN: No, no.

GRANDMA: I'd like to talk
to you.

JILLIAN: It's George's

ZOE: So what?

What's wrong with that?

GRANDMA: Are you in there?

JILLIAN: She's got me cornered.

I can't lie.

I'll call you back!

(Grandma Mumbling)

GRANDMA: Yoo-hoo?

GRANDMA: Jillian, I'm coming
in here.

Okay now.

JILLIAN: Oh my God.

GRANDMA: I coulda sworn
she was in here.

(Comedic Music)


BLAKE: I'm Blake,
George's brother.

JILLIAN: I literally thought
that you were an ax murderer.

Hi, I'm Jillian,
I'm George's--

BLAKE: Yeah, I know,
I kinda figured.

You wanna tell me what that
was all about?

JILLIAN: Honestly, no.

BLAKE: I think you
kinda have to.

I just busted you climbing
out of a window

and being super weird, so.

JILLIAN: I was trying to get
away from your grandmother.

It's a long story but she wanted
to ask me some questions

and I didn't want to hurt
her feelings.

BLAKE: So you climbed down
a trellis.


BLAKE: Okay.
JILLIAN: What're you doing?

BLAKE: I have a lot of stuff to
take care of, okay?


BLAKE: Look, obviously
something's going on

but don't look me in the
eye and tell me

that a political consultant
from New York

can't talk her way around
my grandmother.

JILLIAN: It's true.

BLAKE: No, come on.

An 80 year old civilian?

I feel like someone like you
could handle that in her sleep.

JILLIAN: Someone like me?

BLAKE: Yeah, you know, someone
who basically lies for a living.

JILLIAN: Oh, excuse me.

How dare you just take what
I do and distill it down

to the most simplistic

I worked hard to get where
I am, okay?

Politics is a very complex

It's a game of strategy.

What I do is very important.

BLAKE: Mhmm.

And what exactly is it that
you do again?

JILLIAN: I tell people exactly
what they need to hear

so that your brother can
get elected.

BLAKE: Bingo.


JILLIAN: George warned me you
were difficult.

BLAKE: Well by "difficult," he
means I disagree with him

on most personal, social
and political issues

and it makes him crazy,
then yeah.

I guess I'm difficult.

JILLIAN: All right,

I admit I should be able to spin
some white lie

and just handle your grandma
but the truth is,

your grandmother's very sweet,

and I don't wanna hurt
her feelings.

GEORGE: Oh, great,
I see you met Jillian.

BLAKE: I have, indeed.

FATHER: Well, may I say you are
even more beautiful in person

than you appear on this cover.

JILLIAN: Thank you.

FATHER: You really do make a
strong looking couple.

When I consulted with
Governor Walsh,

he agreed you're gonna play
on all demographics.

You're clean cut, you're serious
but you're not stodgy.

There's no stodgy, you're young.

You're aspirational.


FATHER: And what about this
handsome, young guy, huh?

He looks pretty darn good on
this cover as well, doesn't he?

And where do you think he got
that from?

JILLIAN: It's obvious that it
comes from you, Mr. Beauman.


JILLIAN: The 24 thousand dollars
in veneers didn't hurt though.

FATHER: 24 thousand in veneers?

BLAKE: 24 thousand?

FATHER: Really?

Open up.

Let me see.

JILLIAN: A little Botox between
the brows.

FATHER: Oh, a little Botox too.

GEORGE: Stop it, what're
you doing?

GRANDMA: There you are, Jillian.

I was just looking for you.

I wanted to have a little chat
with you.

I need to get to the bottom
of a few things.

GEORGE: Gram, I told you she was
just kidding.

BLAKE: Yeah, come on, Grandma.

Don't pounce on the poor girl.

She's our guest.

She just got here.

GRANDMA: I'm heading home.

FATHER: Mother.

She was just joking.

GEORGE: Grandma.

Jillian, Jillian, Jillian.

What is happening with you?

You haven't been yourself since
you got here.

I mean, toxic stew?

My veneers, the Botox?

What's next?

JILLIAN: I kinda told your mom

we're practically living


Wait, how'd she take that?

JILLIAN: I don't know because
I kinda slammed the door

in her face as she was
taking it all in.

Look, okay, I'm sorry.

I did not mean for all this
stuff to happen.

GEORGE: It is like you have
short circuited or something.

What is it?

Is it nerves?

JILLIAN: I wish I could blame
this on nerves

but I think it's the Poppy Dot.

GEORGE: Stress, it's stress.

JILLIAN: Again, I wish I could
say yes to that

and just end this conversation
but it is the Poppy Dot.

GEORGE: Why wouldn't you tell me
what's going on with you?

JILLIAN: I am telling you
what's going on

but you're not listening to me

and I know it sounds crazy and
you're very judgmental.

GEORGE: Whoa, wait.

Thanks a lot.

I am not.

Maybe I'm a little judgmental,
but still.

Sweetheart, I won't judge you.

I just need to know what's
going on with you.

JILLIAN: I don't know

but I think it's a curse.

GEORGE: You're blaming this on
your period?

JILLIAN: No, George, like an
actual curse.

GEORGE: Uuuhhh.

JILLIAN: Okay, the truth is,

when you asked me about
the Poppy Dot earlier,

I didn't have it.

I forgot to get it so I went
racing all over the city

trying to find one and when
I found the last one,

I had to tell a big
lie to get it

and then I had to lie to just
cover up the big lie.

GEORGE: Jillian.


GEORGE: Look, I know some lies

in the political realm,
that's okay.

But lying to me, that's a breach
of our trust.

JILLIAN: I know but I didn't
want to disappoint Megan or you.


GEORGE: All right, all right,
I understand that.

But, I mean, you only told
a few lies.

Why did you get so thrown off?

JILLIAN: Well, because the
person that I lied to the last

was Santa and I believe that he
has it out for me now

because he--
GEORGE: Okay, Santa?

JILLIAN: You know,
ever since then.

GEORGE: Jillian.

JILLIAN: Okay, look,
I'll show you.

Poppy Dot, tell me what
you think of me.

POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot
loves everyone!

Wanna play?

We can make a video.


POPPY DOT: Feliz Navidad is
Spanish for Merry Christmas!

JILLIAN: It was really
just saying

very disturbing things earlier.

If you would've heard it.

I mean, it's gonna do it.

GEORGE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Put it down, put it down.

Okay, you are stressed out.

I know you don't wanna believe
that but you are.

I think you put a little too
much pressure on yourself,

all right, to make a good
impression here.

And, plus, with the looming

I think it was just a little
too much.

And then, once you forgot
the Poppy Dot,

it just threw you over the edge.

You know?

JILLIAN: It just--
GEORGE: It's okay.

It's okay, everyone has
a bad day, right?

So, you sit.

Let's get you up there.

All right?

I'm gonna seal you in here.

You're gonna get some rest.

Tomorrow, you're gonna wake up
old Jillian Welles again.

All right?

GEORGE: Forget all about this.

All right, sweetheart.

JILLIAN: I love you, Georgie.

GEORGE: Oh, I love you too,


JILLIAN: I knew it!

That is it!

I've had enough of
this stupid dot!

(Ominous Music)

BLAKE: Oh, hey.

Is that the Poppy Dot for Megan?

JILLIAN: Yes, it is.

BLAKE: It's cute.

JILLIAN: You think so?

Well, you keep it then.

I don't want it.

It just talks and talks.

It's getting on my nerves!

BLAKE: I feel like you could've
just turned it off.

FATHER: "Paramedics give it."

It's three letters.


FATHER: CPR, that's very good.
MOTHER: Thank you, mhmm.


GEORGE: Hey, guys.

I just wanted to say goodnight.

MOTHER: All right, dear.

Come on in for a minute,
sit down.

MOTHER: George, honey.

Jillian is very pretty.
FATHER: Very pretty.

MOTHER: She's very pretty.

FATHER: But this is the girl you
call your "ace?"

The one who always has
your back?

GEORGE: Look, I know she didn't
get off to the best start, here.

MOTHER: Oh, dear.

The Titanic got off to
a better start.

And while I am not crazy
about the idea

of the two of you living

I don't live in the Dark Ages.

I can handle it.

I just didn't want to find out
the way I did.

GEORGE: Mom, that's on me.

I asked her not to say anything.

FATHER: Loose-lips
and jittery.

This is not the girl you
described to me, son.

Georgie, are you sure this
is who you want

sitting beside you when you
announce your campaign?

GEORGE: Of course it is.

She helped me get to this step,
didn't she?

I plan on taking some other
steps with her as well.

MOTHER: A wedding?

GEORGE: Mom, now let's just keep
that on the down low.

Let's not get ahead of

MOTHER: Oh no, I won't.

MOTHER: Oh, promise.
GEORGE: And Dad, relax.

Please, just trust me,
all right?

The woman you met tonight is
not the real Jillian.

Tomorrow she'll be back
to herself

and you'll get to meet the
Jillian that I know

and I promise you,
you will love her.

Now, goodnight.

FATHER: Goodnight.
MOTHER: Goodnight, dear.

GEORGE: I love you.

MOTHER: Love you, honey.
FATHER: You too.

(Deck the Halls Music)

♪ Deck the Halls with
boughs of holly ♪

(Doorbell Ringing)

MOTHER: Lacey's here!

(Phone Dial Tone Buzzing)

ZOE: Hey, I didn't hear back
from you.

Thought grandma got you.

JILLIAN: Oh, hilarious.

ZOE: How's the can't lie thing?

Passing fluke or lifelong

JILLIAN: I don't know,
I just woke up.

ZOE: Is the sky red?

JILLIAN: Nope, the sky is blue.


ZOE: How do I know you're
even trying?

JILLIAN: Don't go there, Zoe!

Okay, I have one nerve left
and it is starting to fray.

GEORGE: Good morning.

JILLIAN: George.

GEORGE: Sorry.

JILLIAN: You look really good.

GEORGE: Thank you.

JILLIAN: I can't believe you
let me oversleep.

I'm not even ready.

GEORGE: It seemed like you
needed it.

Last night was a little--

GEORGE: More like an avalanche.

It was like you were
a different person.

Are you back today?

JILLIAN: I can't lie.

I am here.

GEORGE: Oh, thank goodness.

All right, well Lacey's here
with Ed and Megan.


GEORGE: Hurry up, come down
and you can get dressed

for the symphony after

Oh and let's go with the red
coat over the black.

Pops more.

Go for the young, fresh vibe
we're putting out there.


You still there?

ZOE: Oh yeah, I'm here.

And you are young and fresh.

JILLIAN: Stop, Zoe.

JILLIAN: Tomorrow, George
is going viral

with his campaign announcement
with his entire family

and me there and I'm petrified
I'm gonna screw something up.

My whole consulting career
is gonna be ruined.

ZOE: Are you sure this isn't
just in your head?

JILLIAN: It's not in my head.

ZOE: I'm sorry, it just seems
to me like

maybe you're being
a little dramatic.


MOTHER: Jillian?

It's me, Barb.

If you have a moment, I thought
we could sneak in

a little girl talk.

I have some family photos
I'd love to show you.

I even found my wedding album

if you want to take
a look at it.

I even found a picture of
my wedding dress

just to see what you think.

I gotta go!

ZOE: What is it?

JILLIAN: She wants to show me a
picture of her wedding dress

and I can't lie.

She was an 80s bride.

ZOE: Oh my God, get out
of there, go!

MOTHER: Jillian?


(Suspenseful Comedic Music)

MOTHER: I'm coming in.


JILLIAN: I'm back.

ZOE: What just happened?

JILLIAN: I just climbed down the
side of the house

to get away from George's mom.

ZOE: That kinda makes me miss
high school.


MOTHER: Jillian?

JILLIAN: Listen, Zoe, you are
the only calvary that I've got.

Now we are leave for the
symphony soon, okay?

And this is a charity

So there's going to be major
press coverage.

The outgoing mayor who
is going to Tweet

his endorsement of George,
he's gonna be there

and Bill Festerman's showing up.

He's gonna back George with
a major donation.

ZOE: I feel like I should be
taking notes.

JILLIAN: I'm never gonna be able
to get through this

without lying.

I've already spun so many truths
and half-truths.

ZOE: Yeah, I seem to recall
a few omitted facts.

JILLIAN: Look, you've got to
help me get to the bottom

of this and get rid of this
curse before the symphony.

ZOE: Why me?

JILLIAN: Whose boyfriend's

helped you get your first job

at the Brow Hut when you moved
to New York, hmmm?

Who helped you get your makeup
kit back from your psycho ex?

Who is the only person who
believed you

when we were seven and you
told our teacher

that the coat room was haunted?

ZOE: You, all you.

JILLIAN: Exactly.

Something tells me that this has
something to do with Santa.

ZOE: Jillian.
JILLIAN: Check this out, okay?

That first Santa that we passed
on the street

who was handing out flyers,

that was just a guy in a cheap
Santa suit, remember?

But in the store,

it was like the Gucci version.

I mean, there must be something
to that, right?

ZOE: What, like Santa channeled
through another Santa?

JILLIAN: Look, I don't know,

Maybe cheap Santa have an
in with Gucci Santa.

I don't know, just get to
the bottom of it

and find one of them and
tell them, "Message received.

"Les are bad, I get it!"

ZOE: Oh my God, is this really



ZOE: All right.

If you become First Lady
of New York,

you so better remember this.

JILLIAN: If we don't figure out

how to get this curse removed
before the symphony,

you won't have to worry about
any of that!

ZOE: Bye.

(Upbeat Music)

GEORGE: There you are.

Come on.

Oh, Jillian, this is my sister,

and, of course, Megan.

JILLIAN: Hi, so nice to meet
you, you look pretty.

MEGAN: I know.

LACEY: Oh, she means thank you.

LACEY: But guess what present is
all she can talk about.

MEGAN: The Poppy Dot, don't you
just love it?

JILLIAN: Yes, I mean everybody
just, no, I don't like it.

I actually think it's annoying

but it is really fun for
other people.

LACEY: Okay.

Odd response but it's so
nice to meet you.

GEORGE: And, Jillian, this is
Lacey's husband, Ed.

nice to meet you.

I've heard great things
about you.

ED: Oh yeah, like what?

JILLIAN: Oh, that you're a
really nice guy.

Mid-level achiever but you make
a great margarita.

MOTHER: Breakfast.

JILLIAN: Breakfast.

GEORGE: Breakfast.

Ed, I love your margaritas.

They're the best.

ED: Thanks, man.

JILLIAN: I feel so bad
I overslept.

Everyone's already dressed.

BLAKE: Hey, not everyone.

MOTHER: Good morning, dear.
BLAKE: Morning.

GEORGE: Blake's not joining us
for the symphony, are you?

BLAKE: Oh, George's implication
is that I don't like

the symphony but I do, I just
had a previous commitment.

MOTHER: Well, after tomorrow,
you two lovebirds

are gonna be busy on
the campaign.

I hope you were able to
get your rest.

Jillian, was your room
all right?

JILLIAN: Oh yes.

I love getting away
from the city

and this house has such
a nice, warm energy.

Other than that owl painting,

I really enjoyed being in
my room, thanks.

GEORGE: Yeah, it's nice.

It's opposite than our

We're minimalists.


JILLIAN: One of us is.

GEORGE: What're you talking

First date, we went to that art
show, you said you loved it

and you love my apartment.

First time she saw it, she said
she wouldn't change a thing.

She thought my taste was great.

Isn't that right?

JILLIAN: I lied.

GEORGE: You lied?

JILLIAN: I appreciate a
minimalist aesthetic,

just not as much as you do

and not for a home.

Also, I don't think that throw
pillows are a crime.

And that art show, ugh.

JILLIAN: This is embarrassing.

Have you ever met someone that
you liked so much

that you laughed at
all of their jokes

even when they weren't funny

and you liked everything
that they liked

and you did everything
that they did

like it was the best thing ever?

Well, that's kind of what
happened here.

I knew who George was
when I met him.

I followed his work as
a councilman

and I really admired it.

But little by little, I found
myself lying about things

so that he would like me.

I'm sorry.

That's what happened, I lied.

BLAKE: Sophomore year I fell for
a theater major,

her name was Fiona Allen.

I wasn't really into theater
but she was,

so I lied and I told her
I was into theater.

And then I changed my major
to Theater Arts.

LACEY: Oh my God, you?

Are you serious?

BLAKE: Oh yeah, I would've warn
a unitard for this girl.

BLAKE: It's young love.

FATHER: What, he's an actor now?
MOTHER: No, dear.

Bob took me to golf and then
the horse races

for our first date.

I hate golf and I hate
the horse races.

FATHER: And I love golf and
I love the horse races.

MOTHER: But I liked him so
I lied and I told him

that it was the best day ever.

FATHER: It was a very expensive

MOTHER: Oh, stop it.

FATHER: Unbelievable.
MOTHER: Stop it.

ED: Well, I think what you did,
Jillian, was pretty human.

GEORGE: Yeah, I mean,
how could I be mad?

You just did it because you fell
so hard for me, right?

I think it's pretty flattering,

MOTHER: George, dear.



Does anyone want the
last pancake?


GEORGE: You do?

JILLIAN: I would like it
very much.


You don't usually have
an appetite like this.

Something different?

JILLIAN: Oh, I do, I do have
an appetite

but just not in front of you.

LACEY: Why's that?

JILLIAN: George likes us to look
really good in pictures,

you know?

The camera adds 10 pounds.

We're in the limelight.

MOTHER: George.
FATHER: Georgie, come on.


BLAKE: I like a thick woman.

JILLIAN: Normally I wouldn't do
anything like this.

Take the last pancake or the
last anything for that matter.

Too worried what people would
think of me

as though I'm not allowed
to eat.

You know, I'm not allowed to say
that I'm still hungry

when I am, in fact,
still hungry.

I'm very hungry.

George ate all my sashimi
at lunch yesterday

and I woke up today feeling
totally famished.

MOTHER: George.

GEORGE: She said she wasn't

JILLIAN: I lied.

FATHER: There's a whole tray
of bacon.

Eat the bacon, give her
the bacon.

Give the sausage.

ED: Just pass these down.

Poor girl's hungry, come on.
FATHER: Take my juice.

GEORGE: Dad, she doesn't want
your juice.

JILLIAN: I want the juice,

FATHER: Give her the juice.

GEORGE: Here, here's the juice.

JILLIAN: This is amazingly

to eat this much in front
of people,

people I just met.

ED: There you go.

LACEY: Okay, well,

I mean, since Jillian's being
so honest

and with the campaign about
to start.

Ed and I just thought it would
be a great time

to get something off our chests.


Remember when we eloped?

MOTHER: I'll never forget it.

LACEY: Okay.

ED: Well, the truth is.

LACEY: We aren't actually

FATHER: What's that? Sorry.

GEORGE: What, you're not

LACEY: We found out I was
pregnant with Megan

when we were on vacation

and we came back and we just
told everyone that we eloped.


ED: Surprise.


BLAKE: This is where I exit.

MOTHER: Did he know about this?

Did you know about this?

Where are you going?

ED: George, since you wanted us
to campaign with you.

If you were going to be
introducing me

as Lacey's husband,

technically that's not true, so.

GEORGE: Right.

Well we'll just have to run
focus numbers on this.



LACEY: We just thought you
should know.

JILLIAN: I should probably go
and get ready.

This was really great.


Biscuits were delicious.

I'm just gonna get ready
for the symphony.

You know, you guys are
all dressed up

and you too, you're dressed
up too.

You know, let me take
out the trash.

Excuse me.



JILLIAN: Oh, wow.

BLAKE: You know, I really can't
figure you out.

JILLIAN: Oh, God, here we go

Let me guess, you have some
thoughts to share now.

BLAKE: Just when I'm positive
there's something

janky about you,
you change it up.

I don't get it, what is it,

some kind of truth cleanse
before the campaign starts?

JILLIAN: No, I just find

hopefully temporarily unable
to lie.

BLAKE: All right then, for my
peace of mind,

is there anything shady
about you?

Anything that might hurt
my brother?


this isn't shady about me

but I have done some research
into Bill Festerman,

the guy who wants to
back George.

I found a few things.

BLAKE: Like what?

JILLIAN: Cheating, fraud.

Nothing that could bring
George down.

I mean, he's not attached to any
of Festerman's businesses

but, all-in-all, Festerman is
not a good guy

and I haven't told George
any of this.

It's easier that way and it's
better for the campaign.

George needs Festerman and he's
gonna open the way

to other big donors.

BLAKE: I appreciate the candor.

And you should know,

even though I disagree with
George on a lot of things,

I still love him.

I don't think he's a bad guy
or anything.

He's just always liked
the spotlight

a little bit more than I have.

And his head can turn
too easily,

so I just wanna make sure that
he's surrounding himself

with the right kind of people.

JILLIAN: I am the right kind
of people.

BLAKE: We'll see.

JILLIAN: Will we?

You know, George and I both
wanna change things.

And we're doing something

which is more than can be
said about you.

I mean, George put together
a whole charity event

at the symphony which you can't
even be bothered to attend.

And here I thought George was
the judgmental Beauman.

BLAKE: Uh huh.

JILLIAN: What do you know?

You're just some guy with
a tech device,

futzing around a bunch of
Christmas lights.

Have fun.

BLAKE: Tell the truth,

you really do like the lights,
don't you?

JILLIAN: I friggin' love 'em!

(Upbeat Music)

ZOE: Sorry, Jill,

there's no Santa at the
toy store today.

JILLIAN: We leave for the
symphony at noon.

It is the day before Christmas
in New York.

Can't you find another Santa?

I'm out of options here.

ZOE: Any Santa?

JILLIAN: I don't know.

Just see what you can do, okay?

ZOE: All right.

I'll try a department store.

JILLIAN: Thank you, you're my
hero, I love you.

ZOE: Yeah, always.


JILLIAN: Come in.

GEORGE: Well, you look gorgeous.

JILLIAN: Thank you.
GEORGE: Love those earrings.

But I would go with the studs.

Oh and great news.

Festerman just added two new
donors to the golf weekend.

JILLIAN: Oh, that's wonderful.

GEORGE: I can't believe you
haven't met his wife.

You're really gonna love her.

She's a real talker though.

Asks lots of questions.

(Ominous Music)

ZOE: Gucci Santa.

You're real.

Santa, I hope this fur is faux.

SANTA: What do you need, Zoe?

I've got a busy day.


ZOE: Right, I'm here for

You know, Welles.

SANTA: Believe me, I know who
Jillian is.

Just tell me what she wants.

ZOE: Okay, cards on the table.

My girl fully admits she lied
to the Poppy Dot

but she wants me to assure you
that she knows it was wrong

and she learned her lesson

and there are no hard feelings.

SANTA: Indeed, there aren't.

ZOE: My point is, she heard you
loud and clear.

Lies are bad,
mission accomplished.

We both know she's
a decent person.

She's got big things ahead
of her.

SANTA: Indeed, she does.

ZOE: Come on, dude.

Can we just remove the curse,

or spell or whatever it is?

SANTA: What's happening to
Jillian will end

SANTA: When it ends.

ZOE: But she needs to be at the
symphony with George today.

He's counting on her.

SANTA: I've got an idea or two
of my own about what she needs.

ZOE: Okay, let's get real here.

What's it gonna take, huh?

A good deed?

A donation?

Just putting it out there,

you, me and a pair of tweezers.

15 minutes, I can make those
eyebrows snatched.


ZOE: What do you say?
(Santa Chuckling)

SANTA: Goodbye, Zoe.

(Coo-coo Clock Hooting)

ZOE: Santa.

MOTHER: All right.

MEGAN: I wanna be in the front.

MOTHER: No, no, into the back.

You fold up easier than Grandma.

Here we go.

(Phone Ringing)


ZOE: All right.

I just had a conversation with
Gucci Santa in a bar.

What is happening?

Anyway, it looks like you were
right about everything.

JILLIAN: I knew it.

(Dramatic Music)

ZOE: The problem is,
he's not budging.

He wouldn't give me anything,

Just said it would wear off
in its own time.

JILLIAN: What does that mean?
GEORGE: Jillian!


Come on!

That does not help me.

Okay, we're about to leave.

ZOE: I'm sorry, I gave it
my best shot.

And I don't want to talk
ill of the red,

but I gotta say, he's kind
of a hard-ass.

Real cute on that one.



I'll talk to you later, okay?


(Dramatic Music)



What's the matter, are you sick?

GEORGE: All right, let's go,
hop in.

JILLIAN: George, I can't.

GEORGE: Come on,
we're already late.

JILLIAN: Do you trust me,

GEORGE: Of course I do.


I really wanna go with you,
I really, really do.

But I just feel like I've been
acting so strange lately,

I don't wanna embarrass you.

GEORGE: You would never
embarrass me.

Look at you, you're perfect
and I'm here.

I can cover for you
if I have to.

But I need you, we're a team.

All right?

JILLIAN: I know it's a
disappointment, okay?

But I think that it's for
the best, okay?

I just, I can't go to the
symphony, George.

GEORGE: I don't believe this.

Look, sweetie, clearly something
is off with you.

I can't just leave you here,
alone, all day long.

I'll be fine.


BLAKE: If you're worried about
her being alone,

she can always tag along
with me.

GEORGE: Thank you, that's nice.

But I'm sure Jillian isn't

in hanging out with Grandma and
you at our cousin's place.

JILLIAN: That's your previous

Hanging out with your

at your cousin's place?
BLAKE: All right, yes or no?

I gotta go too.

GEORGE: Jillian?

Do you wanna go to our cousin's
place with Blake?

JILLIAN: If it means not going
to the symphony, then yes.

GEORGE: The mayor's going to be
there, the Festermans.

They're coming from New York
to support me.

What will they think?

JILLIAN: They're gonna think
a whole lot more of you

if I don't go.

I'm sorry George.

GEORGE: All right.

JILLIAN: Okay, it's for
the best.

And we'll have a really great
Christmas Eve.

GEORGE: Promise?

JILLIAN: I promise.

(Dramatic Music)

GEORGE: I hope so.

JILLIAN: Love you, Georgie.

(Car Honking)


(Upbeat Music)

GRANDMA: Tell me the truth.

They hate my stew, don't they?

JILLIAN: Pretty much.

GRANDMA: I knew it.

Bunch of idiots, why didn't
they just tell me?

BLAKE: Hey, I told you.

GRANDMA: But you were
the only one.

And you're a picky eater.

You don't even like my pie.

BLAKE: No, I like it.

I just really treasure my
tooth enamel.

GRANDMA: Do you know how
much time it takes

to make that stew?

Two whole days.

And my house smells for
a week afterwards.

The only reason I make it at
all is because they make

such a big deal raving about
it every year!

JILLIAN: Well the good news is

that you don't have to
make it anymore.


Now I'm gonna make it
all the time

and gonna keep on making it
and I'm gonna sit there

and enjoy watching them
gulp it all down.


BLAKE: This is why I love you
so much, Grandma.

GRANDMA: Oh, life would be so
much simpler

if people would tell the truth.

(Pleasant Beat Music)

JILLIAN: Oh, "Our Cousin's

I get it.

♪ Celebrate ♪

BLAKE: All right, ladies.

We got some work to do.

JILLIAN: What do you mean, work?

I thought we were hanging out.

BLAKE: Yeah, we are after.

Here, you'll need this.

GRANDMA: Put it on.

BLAKE: All right, guys, we got
our stocking of wishes

and we got our stations.

We're no stopping until this
bag is empty.

After that, come back
here and party.

How's that sound?


JILLIAN: What do I do?

BLAKE: I guess you're with me.

(Joyful Christmas Music)

JILLIAN: "Ingredients for any
kind of Christmas dinner

"and a small gift for my

"I lost my job this year.

"My wish would be a boy's
bike for my son,

"but I would be grateful for
any toy I could give him."

BLAKE: I need a turkey.

JILLIAN: "Something for a girl,
eight to ten."

Glitter set and pony.


Potatoes, apples.

Another eggnog!

BLAKE: Thanks.

I'll load the rest.

Can you load those addresses
into the GPS?


♪ It's Santa's Jolly ho-ho-ho ♪

♪ And the streets are filling
up with snow ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ This is Christmas ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

JILLIAN: Special delivery!


BLAKE: You got room for
a turkey?

JILLIAN: Merry Christmas!

♪ Dad is holding mom under
the mistletoe ♪

♪ As they sing another
verse of Let it snow ♪

BLAKE: Pretty good for
a first run.

JILLIAN: Why, thank you.

I rather enjoyed that.

BLAKE: That's what we call
"sleighing it."


GEORGE: Looking forward to that
Tweet tomorrow, sir.

GEORGE: Bill, Irene.

So good to see you, I'm glad
you could make it.

BILL: Are you excited about that
announcement tomorrow?

GEORGE: Of course, of course.

I just wish Jillian were here.

She's feeling a little
off today.

I really wanted the two
of you to meet.

IRENE: Oh, that would've been
so nice.

JUAN: Mr. Beauman.

Juan Gutierrez for the New York
Banner newspaper.

Care to comment on the rumors
that you're about to run?

A little Christmas Eve

GEORGE: Nice try, Juan.

BILL: Hold on a sec, that's not
a bad idea.

We could make something of it.

You in the house you grew up in.

And you did just say you wanted
Jillian to meet Irene.


I don't know, Jillian's,

GEORGE: She's not really
herself right now.

BILL: Oh, come on, George.

A good politician knows how to
seize the moment, right?

GEORGE: That's a good point,
that's a good point.

What do you guys think?

FATHER: I think it's
a good point.

MOTHER: It is, it's an
excellent, excellent point.

FATHER: It is, it's
a great point.


(Somber Blues Music)

♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas ♪

♪ Lean your ear this way ♪

♪ Don't you tell a single soul ♪

JILLIAN: How is your grandma?

You sure she's gonna be okay?

BLAKE: Oh yeah.

Hazel took her home.

One rendition of "Jingle Bell
Rock" and a few eggnogs

and she was toasted.

ho, ho, ho.

How'd you start this
whole thing?

BLAKE: I was at the grocery
store just buying beer

for a friend's party one night

and there was this couple
behind me.

And they had just gotten
off work

and they were both just
whipped out.

She's asking him about his back

and he's asking her about their
bank account.

Christmas was right around
the corner

and they were talking about
how they didn't

have enough money to buy
presents for their kids.

It was kinda hard to hear,
you know?

And I wanted to do something
or say something

or help somehow

but it was awkward,
so I just let it pass.

JILLIAN: I mean, what can
you do?

BLAKE: Right.

So later that night, the party
ends up here

and it's talent night
and I lose a bet

and find myself up on stage

trying desperately to remember
any of the lyrics

to any Michael Jackson song,

wishing I could be anywhere else

and I look up

and way in the back is
that same dad

from the grocery store with
the bad back

and he's busing tables.


BLAKE: I'm on stage and there's
a group of people here

and I have a microphone
in my hand

and if that's not a sign,
then what is?

There was just this moment,
and for once, I took it.

I pitched this

and it became a thing.

JILLIAN: How does George not
know about all this?

BLAKE: He does, sort of.

I think he just thinks about it
as a bunch of drunk people

hanging out with a donation jar

sitting on the bar counter,
you know?

JILLIAN: But it's so much more
than that.

You should share
it with him.

BLAKE: Yeah, well, I'm honestly
kinda happy

that it's off his radar.

The last thing that I would
want is for George

to swoop in, roll up his sleeves
and turn it into

some kind of photo op,
you know?

Just kinda kill it for me.

We just roll differently.


♪ Christmas Eve is coming soon ♪

♪ Now you dear old man ♪

BLAKE: You do know at some point
I'm gonna have to ask you

why you're here and not at the
symphony with George, right?



BLAKE: Come on.

What's really going on with you?

HOST: Well, that's it folks.

Unless anyone else wants to
throw their hat in the ring.

It looks Garrett, here, is gonna
win the talent trophy

for the third straight year.

What about it?

Anybody out there think they
can top Garrett?


BLAKE: I'm sorry, what?

HOST: Was that a yes over there?

BLAKE: We gotta yes back here.

JILLIAN: I said that I can,
I didn't say that I want to.

BLAKE: This woman's a yes!

HOST: Over there!

Give it up for the smoking
lady in the red.



HOST: Please, tell us your name.

JILLIAN: Jillian.

HOST: You any good, Jillian.

JILLIAN: I'm very funny.

(Audience Laughing)

HOST: All right, take it away.

JILLIAN: Woo, thank you, guy.

How's everybody doing?

You guys excited for Christmas?


JILLIAN: I'm here right now

my boyfriend's parents for
the first time.

Meeting the parents, that's
so scary, isn't it?

I've only been with them
for 24 hours.

It only took me 24 seconds to
mess the whole thing up.


JILLIAN: Like, I don't even know
what I did wrong.

I'm just ruining stuff,
you know?

I'm a professional ruiner.

"Hi, I'm Jillian.

"I'm a ruiner.

"I'm here to ruin Christmas
for everybody.

"You know, you can hire
my services

"with my Jillian Ruins
Christmas App.

"I got you, fam, I got you."


JILLIAN: Imagine you had to get
through Christmas without lying.

Like, show of hands,
who thinks they can

get through the holidays
without lying?

Nobody, I don't see any hands.

Now you put your hand down
because you are a big liar.

I can tell, I can tell
from here.

Like, what if you had some kind
of a Christmas curse

that made you have to be
honest all the time?

Like imagine the family dinner,
you know?

You're just like, "Hey, how's
cousin Carol?

"She's in jail, pass
the cheese."

Like, "What?

JILLIAN: "I thought we all
agreed she was in college."


JILLIAN: You know, there's
always like the one relative

like pretending to be extra
sickly in the corner

just to see how much you care,
you know what I mean?

It's like, "Why are you
on oxygen?"

You know what I mean?

JILLIAN: It's Christmas.

Like it's winter time.

You should be in a hospital
if it's that bad,

but it's not that bad.

They're messing with you.

They're slow playing you.


JILLIAN: My boyfriend's mom
has this weird bird fetish

that has gone unchecked
for years.

Like, everything in the house
has some kind of a bird on it.

You know, you're sleeping on the
goose down comforter,

surrounded by angry birds.

It's like she's never heard
of Hitchcock at all.

This is not scary at all.

I went down to get some
breakfast in the kitchen.

It was like, "bacaw!"

Suddenly I'm in a weird diorama
of "The Land Before Time."


JILLIAN: We're all under so much
pressure during the holidays

to put on airs, you know?

To try to be someone that
we think

families want us to be somehow.

Then there are people like
Blake, over here.

Blake, he doesn't put on
airs or deodorant.


JILLIAN: Smell you later.

But, I mean, he's a good guy.

I will tell you, when I first
met Blake,

I thought he was an ax murderer.

I mean, he's standing there,
he's hold a rusty ax.

He's wearing these goggles.

And you know he has that
predatory stare he does.

Like he's silently judging you,
you know what I mean?


JILLIAN: He's trying to price
your organs.

No, seriously, this guy,

he's got one of those soft,
chewy centers, you know?

Those people have the
tough exterior

but once you get behind
the hockey mask

there's a really nice
guy in there.

The kind of guy who sees
a family struggling

and builds a whole world
out of it.

That brings people together

and delivers Christmas presents
to everyone.

He's like a real life
Santa Claus.


JILLIAN: All right, so let's
give it up for Blake,

the ax murderer with
a heart of gold

and the unidentifiable finger

the guy who put us all together.


JILLIAN: I love you, my name
is Jillian, that's my time.


BLAKE: Yeah!


HOST: What do we think, people?

Did she top Garrett?


HOST: Come on people,
what do you say?

Who's slaying it?


or Jillian?

CROWD: Jillian!


CROWD: Jillian!






HOST: That's right, this year's
coveted talent trophy

goes to the lady in red,
it's Jillian!


JILLIAN: Thank you so much!


BLAKE: Wow, that was amazing,
how'd it feel up there?

JILLIAN: So good.

I just love this big trophy.

BLAKE: Hey, you earned it,

JILLIAN: Thank you.

You know who would not have been
thrilled by all this?


JILLIAN: He's projecting and
protecting the image

all the time.
BLAKE: It's a great image.

Keep it.

Where did you learn how
to do that?

JILLIAN: True story.

I grew up in a town not much
bigger than this

and those families we
helped today,

that was me.

My mom was a single mom pretty
much in the same predicament

as that couple that
you overheard

at the grocery store that day.

My mom, she struggled a lot.

She worked really, really hard

and I felt pretty helpless
as a kid

but there was one thing
that I could do.

I could make her laugh.

And when she laughed, I mean,
her face just lit up

and all the stress just
melted away.

It was the best thing
in the world.

I bet it was.

And then, for fun, me and
my best friend, Zoe,

we used to do these ridiculous
comedy bits

at the community center.

BLAKE: Ah, okay.

JILLIAN: Every week they had
a talent show

or a contest or something

and we practically lived
at that place.

When I was 16, my mom
met someone

and he was nice and he
had money,

so suddenly I was in
private school

and humor was not gonna help
me there.

It was about image and status

and poise.

I just had to fit in with

So, little by little, I folded
up shop on who I was before

and the next thing you know,
I didn't feel funny anymore.

BLAKE: Well, I can tell you that
you definitely still got it.


BLAKE: Honestly, that's
impressive just being able

to bust out a performance like
that out of nowhere.

JILLIAN: It's crazy but I mean,

when you're out there it
just goes on

like a switch, you know?

BLAKE: Yeah, that's a really
good skill to have.

JILLIAN: I guess so.

I mean, in a way,

when I met George he
was pretty much

already well known in
the political sphere,

so it's been helpful because
I feel like

I've had to be on
the entire time.

BLAKE: That's no way to live
your life.

And George, I worry about him.

You know, when he makes his
announcement tomorrow

about his campaign with the
former mayor endorsing him

and this Festerman guy
backing him,

I mean, there's no coming
back from that.

For either of you.

(Dramatic Music)

JILLIAN: George!

Oh my God, the symphony!

I told him I was gonna be
back to meet him!

We gotta go!
We gotta go, right now!

BLAKE: Looks like they're back.

And then some.

Why don't you go inside,
I'll park.

JILLIAN: Thanks, Blake.

This day was pretty great.

I felt like myself.


(People Chattering)

GEORGE: There you are,
I was getting worried.

Are you feeling better?

JILLIAN: I was a second ago.

Mister and Misses Festerman
are here.

(Pleasant Music)

(Somber Music)


The Festermans were so upset
they didn't get to see you

that I figured why not invite
everyone from the symphony

and our neighbors back to
the house for a little party.

JILLIAN: This is so unexpected.

(Clearing Throat)

GEORGE: Oh and I believe you
know Juan Gutierrez.

I thought you could give him
a little scoop.

JILLIAN: Hello, again.

JUAN: You never did get back to
me on clarifying that quote.

JILLIAN: That's because I was
sidestepping you, Juan.


BILL: Jillian!

JILLIAN: I have to go to my room
right now.


Well, when you gotta go,
you gotta go, huh?

Come on, let's go have a drink.

JILLIAN: Come on, pick up,
pick up!

Pick up!

ZOE: Jillian, what happened?

Did you got to the symphony?

I went to some charity thing and
won a trophy at a bar.

ZOE: That's cool.

JILLIAN: Then George went and
brought the Festermans

back from the symphony along
with a reporter.

ZOE: Not cool.

JILLIAN: I can't lie,
I can't spin.

What am I gonna do?


GEORGE: Jillian, the Festermans
are waiting for you downstairs

and so is Mr. Gutierrez.

I don't understand what's going
on with you.

It's like you've checked out.

This is crunch time for us,
for the campaign.

Are you coming down?

JILLIAN: Damn it.

I am getting way too
good at this.

ZOE: Stop jumping out of houses.

JILLIAN: It's just one house
over and over again.


JILLIAN: I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

I cannot go back in there.

ED: Hey.

ED: What're you doing out here
without a coat?

Oh, Megan left her bear
in the car.

Come on, it's cold as,

it's cold.
JILLIAN: Uh huh.

Wish me luck.

ED: What was that?

Oh, burr.

ED: Hey, found Megan's bear
and Jillian.

JUAN: Great, you're back.

Miss Welles, I really need

GEORGE: There you are.

JILLIAN: George, please come
outside with me right now.

I've gotta tell you something.

BILL: There you are, finally.

Irene was beginning to think
we made you up.

You're one hard lady to pin
down, Jillian.

So, why so illusive?

JILLIAN: I've got a file on you

that I've been keeping
from George.

BILL: Is there something you'd
like to ask me, young lady?


What is the first favor you're
gonna ask of George

when he gets elected?

I mean, between the lawsuits
and the girlfriends, sorry,

you're not exactly the
greatest guy.

I mean, five years ago, you beat
out a charter school

to get that city owned barge
for your restaurant

and you promised 10 scholarships
a year as a stipulation.

I checked.

You've never given one single

I knew all of this and I didn't
say anything

because I wanted it all so much.

The big backer, the access
to other donors,

the campaign, the job
opportunities, it brought you.

I told myself it was
just politics.

I tried to justify it.

I just thought that if you
got elected

we could do so much good.

GEORGE: Jillian.

JILLIAN: I ruined everything.

This whole weekend.

The campaign.

I'm so sorry.

GEORGE: No, Jillian.


JILLIAN: I'm sorry.

(Somber Music)

(Bell Ringing)

SANTA: Ho-ho-ho, happy holidays.

(Phone Ringing)


SANTA: Rough night?

JILLIAN: I had it all right
at my fingertips.

The guy, the campaign,

the job interest.

Now I feel like I've just
blown everything.

For the record, I am sorry
I lied to the little girl.

SANTA: Bethany?

Don't worry about her.

You wouldn't believe some of the
doozies that one told.

The truth is, she didn't even
want the Poppy Dot.

She just thought she did.

Poppy Dot became an "it toy."

The one everyone has to have.

So, naturally, she thought
that's what she wanted to.

She thought it would make
her happy.

Happens all the time.

To people of all ages.

JILLIAN: Until all this

I had no idea how much
I was lying to people.

I thought it was just part of
the job, you know?

A little spin here,
a little spin there.

Saying I didn't recall when
I clearly did.

Flipping the script, you know?

Then, one day, spinning
just spun into lying.

Thinking it was okay
to get funded

by somebody like Festerman.

SANTA: There are big lies
and small lies,

white lies.

But it's the lies we tell
ourselves that do the most harm.

The ones about who we
really are,

what will make us happy.


I've got a long night in
front of me.

Merry Christmas, Jillian.

JILLIAN: Merry Christmas,
Gucci Santa.



And if you're interested.

All is not lost.

All your possibilities are
still open.

JILLIAN: I doubt that.

Nobody's gonna believe what
happened except for Zoe.

And we all know I can't lie.

SANTA: You can say anything
you'd like.


SANTA: Ho, ho, ho, ho!

(Phone Dial Tone Buzzing)

(Phone Chiming)

ZOE: Are you okay?


ask me what snow is made of.

ZOE: What's snow made of?

JILLIAN: Cheese and avocados.


JILLIAN: I can lie!

But a lot of good it's gonna
do me now.

ZOE: Girl, check your
Quixxi Gram.

JILLIAN: For what?

ZOE: Just do it.

JILLIAN: "Tonight I witnessed
a Christmas Miracle.

"On the eve of announcing his
candidacy for Mayor,

"Councilman George Beauman
turned down

"a promised campaign donation
from Bill Festerman

"on ethical grounds."

I don't believe it!

George did the right thing.

He turned it around.

Expert spin.

Merry Christmas.

ZOE: Merry Christmas, woo!

(Dramatic Music)

JILLIAN: Did you see?

MOTHER: Oh, I know, my phone
is blowing up.

Is that the right term?

FATHER: My phone won't stop
ringing either.

It's also blowing up.

JILLIAN: Where is George?



You went running out here so
fast, I wasn't mad at you.

I was just surprised.

And you were just doing
your job, right?

JILLIAN: Actually, I think it's
time I rethought my job.

GEORGE: Well, after you exposed
Festerman for who he really was,

I decided to take a gamble.

JILLIAN: You can't buy that kind
of publicity, George.

You're gonna make a great mayor.

GEORGE: You think?

GEORGE: I've been waiting for
the right moment to ask you

since you got here.

JILLIAN: Have you noticed that
in the short time

that we've been away here,

when we haven't had to be on,

that we really are very
different people.

In a way, I feel like
you haven't

gotten to meet the real me yet.

And being here, I've kinda
gotten back in touch

with who that is.

The truth is,

when I started out,

what I wanted to do was be
involved and make a difference.

Somehow, I lost sight of that.

I don't wanna spend my life
consulting for other people.

And I don't think I'm ready
to be a wife either.

I need to just stand on
my own for a bit

and redefine my own path.

MOTHER: I'm never gonna get
a wedding, am I?

JILLIAN: Please, I hope you

(Somber Music)

GEORGE: Somehow, I do.

Come here.

JILLIAN: George.

(Upbeat Music)

GEORGE: Merry Christmas.

I'm City Councilman,
George Beauman,

here at home, with my family
for the holidays

and I'd like to take the
opportunity to announce,

in case you haven't heard,

that I am running for Mayor
of New York City.

(Phone Chiming)

POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot
loves everyone!

THERESA: Thank you, Jillian.

JILLIAN: It's the least
I could do, Theresa.

THERESA: I'm really glad you're
doing this.

I'm so proud of you.

JILLIAN: Wish me luck.

THERESA: Go get 'em.


I'm Jillian Welles

here at the East Side Community

Pancake Breakfast and Rally for
the City Oasis Project.

This place is incredibly
special to me

and that's why I wanted
it to be here

that I announce that I am
running for City Council.


(Upbeat Music)

(Ending Credit Music)