The Sore Losers (1997) - full transcript

Kill The Hippies! Hot rod juvenile delinquents from outer space come to Memphis to kill hippies! Shot on16mm film between Tupelo, Mississippi, and Memphis, Tennessee in 1996, "The Sore Losers" is a southern psychedelic sexploitation cinematic romp & stomp with a killer lo-fi garage/punk soundtrack. They Wanted Meat So They Ate The Flower Children! Director: Mike McCarthy.

(dramatic music)

(baby crying)
(man laughing)

(guns firing)

(light jazz music)

(lively blues music)

(wrench thudding)

(dog barks)

(engine roaring)

- I'll be honest with you.

I never got to Memphis
when I was here before.

I stayed in the country.

That's country with a K-K-K.

Shit, it only seems like
a couple of weeks ago.

So yeah, I'm coming back out here

to take up some unfinished business.

Hey, I'd rather be in the city,

but this, this is where it all began,

and I found a road where I can get away,

get away with murder.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, yeah ♪

♪ Walk through it now ♪

♪ Walk through the valley now ♪

♪ Walk through the valley, yeah ♪

♪ I gotta let the spirit ride ♪

♪ I gotta let that spirit ride ♪

♪ Come on spirit ♪

♪ Come on spirit ♪

♪ Come on spirit ♪

♪ Come on, let that spirit ♪

♪ Well, I've got a plan ♪

♪ Yeah, take me ♪

♪ Take me now, uh huh ♪

♪ Take me now, uh huh ♪

♪ Take me now, uh huh ♪

♪ Take me now spirit ♪

♪ You bet I could ♪

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, huh ♪

(speaker static)

- [Man On Speaker] If a crime is depicted,

it shall be as a sordid
and unpleasant activity.

(plane engine roaring)

(light guitar music)

- [Narrator] Blackie is an immortal

from the Killers Frequency.

He was allowed to
terrorize the South in 1954

to test his skills as
a disciplined killer.

Blackie was to take 12 random lives,

but had only killed nine

when his allotted time on Earth ran out.

Blackie returned to the
Invisible Wavelength a loser.

A shame that he has lived with
for over 42 years, until now.

Escaping from the chains of
the Invisible Wavelength,

Blackie has been given one more chance.

Return to Earth, kill three
victims and only three,

then return into the Frequency
and face the heroes death.

(gun firing)

♪ Oh, how I want to go home ♪

♪ Last night I went to
sleep in Detroit City ♪

♪ And I dreamed about those
cotton fields and home ♪

♪ I dreamed about my mother ♪

♪ Dear old Papa, sister, and brother ♪

- [Store Owner] Something
I can do for ya, punk?

- You got any Weird Science?

- The government put them out of business.

- What?

- We haven't had any of
that crap for 40 years.

We got the new alternative comics now.

Where you from anyway?

- I'll show you where I'm from.

(magazine rack thuds)

- Well son, it looks like I'm about

to open a can of Mississippi whoop-ass.

♪ Cotton fields and home ♪

♪ I dreamed about my mother ♪

(store owner grunting)
(fist thudding)

♪ I dreamed about that girl
who's been waiting for so long ♪

(gun firing)

♪ I wanna go home ♪

- Where did you come from?

- Right over there.

- Did you see what happened here?

- Who me?

Don't worry about me.

I have a very short attention span.

What did you say anyway?

- [Blackie] I can't take you with me.

- Well, I don't wanna go.

I got a job at the Tupelo
Fair and Dairy Show.

- I guess you gotta pay for that bike.

(bike engine roaring)

(shovel thudding)

Fuck this dirty work.

42 Earth years.

It's been a long time since
I've seen my old buddy, Mike.

Bet he ain't changed a bit.

Mikey, Mikey, Mike!

- [Nurse] Sorry we're closed.

- Nurse McComb?

- Yes?

- Damn, you look good.

Can't believe you're still around.

I forgot that things
change when you're gone,

but you're the same as when I left.

- Do I know you, young man?

- Well, it's kinda hard to explain.

I've been in outer space for quite awhile.

- I recognize you now.

- Why haven't you aged, Nurse McComb?

- I'm very busy, you'll have to come back.

- I have, where's Mike?

- [Nurse] He's not here!

I, I don't know!

He must have checked out!

- Where are the other nurses at?

What've you done with Mike?

- I sent them outside, you're hurting me!

- [Blackie] What've you done with Mike?

- They're not here!

I sent them to pick flowers.

- Flowers for who?

If you're so young,

it's Mikey's blood that's
making it that way!

What's he doing with you
and the other nurses, huh?

- I told you he's not!

(hand thuds)

- Your sick experiment is over.

(Nurse screams)

- You realize Michael's different now.

- I'm the reason Mike is different!

Or do you forget the night
that I was brought in?

- You know Michael
hasn't aged in 42 years.

He might not remember you,

and if he does,

he might not like you anymore!

- Lies, lies, I'm tired of these lies!

(punk rock music)

Mike, yeah, sorry I took off like that.

- Mikey, tell this hoodlum to stop!

- Or you'll what?

Call the old hags?

(bottle crashes)

You never brought me one
stinking comic book, you bitch!

- Mikey, you can have it all.

Just don't let me grow old.

- I'll have it all the moment you die.

The time is now.

(punk rock music)

- I gave you everything for 42 years,

but I was waiting for it all to end.

After all, everything you
touch rots and turns to shit.

- [Narrator] Mike was
always fond of mayhem.

Mike always had a fascination

with kicking, and hitting, and stomping.

His biggest kick was being drafted,

going off to kill the
enemy in the Korean War.

The only problem was,
when the enemy was dead,

Mike turned the gun on his own troop.

- Victim number 11,

and we've got to bury
her in the Chosen Spot.

- [Narrator] Certifiably insane,
he was sent to Cedar Hill

to live out his life in a strait jacket

but the story never ends.

When Mike arrived, he
needed eight pints of blood.

Blackie, the newest inmate at the time,

was the only available donor.

Soon after, Blackie disappeared
off the face of the earth.

Mike's comic collection began to rot,

but Mike never grew any older.

(punk rock music)

- [Blackie] Read any
good comic books lately?

- [Mike] Not in about 42 years.

I thought you were never coming back.

- [Blackie] The Elders, they
don't know I've escaped.

At least I don't think they do.

I want you to help me finish the kill.

- [Mike] A lot of shit can
go down in 42 years, man.

- [Black] I'm picking up
on what you're saying.

- [Mike] I was kinda thinking

about seeing the old homestead.

I bet it's on some kind
of national register.

See the home of Beautiful Boy Floyd.

- [Blackie] Sea monkeys?

- Everything's shot to
hell, man, except for them.

They're still here right
here where I left them.

- You found your parents?

- No, man, better than that.

I found my comics.

Oh, that Johnson Smith
package finally came.

- I really shouldn't have
opened these, but I did.

Hey, you mind if I tear up some firewood?

(mysterious music)

- [Mike] Law enforcement officers dying

as a result of a criminal's activities

should be discouraged.

Females shall be drawn realistically

without exaggeration of
any physical qualities.

- [Blackie] Hey, damn it!

There's some fool driving in
the middle of the damn road!

- [Mike] Hey, watch out man!

(tires screeching)

(guns firing)

- I'm not in it to win or be famous.

- Then why do you do it?

- Kicks, strictly for laughs.

(punk rock music)

I played in these woods when I was a girl.

My folks live over yonder.

- Did you hear what happened here in 1954?

- UFO murders, oh yeah.

Man, it bugged me.

I wanted to find out why?

- Yeah, that was some of my work.

I was laying low out here when
the fuzz was looking for me.

I lost a lot of blood in these woods.

- So, you killed the nine
that lived on the gravel road?

- I killed them.

Buried them right here.

Nobody's found them yet.

Seems like nobody cares to look.

- I killed someone today,

right before I met you.

- What, on your way home from prison?

- Yeah, I was about a
mile away from the prison

and flying like a bat out of hell.

The only thing I wanted to think about

was the upkeep on my machine.

Then I saw him.

There's always that long drive
home after a prison stay,

and what's the first
sign of humanity I see?

- [Blackie] What's a hippie?

- Man, you have been far, far away.

- What is it like a beatnik or something?

- Imagine someone who
doesn't believe in war,

or the death penalty, or taking a bath,

and there he stood thumbing a ride.

As I passed, I thought who'd
be dumb enough to pick him up?

Hitchhikers are responsible

for the decline of western civilization,

and hippie hitchers are the worst,

but then I realized, hey, if
I fuck around with this guy

is John Q Public ever gonna care?

- Thank you kindly, sister.

For this is an act of love that you do.

- [Kerine] After all, I
just got out of prison.

- I mean, love is the
only thing that matters.

I mean, look, I mean, if
those corrupt, capitalist pigs

would just see love
instead of material wealth,

I mean, there would be peace
and groovy faces everywhere.

- Aw, shut up!

I'm not charging you for the lift.

- Look, I may not have
any money, you know,

or material possessions,

but I'm rich because I
give my love to everyone.

- Wow, wouldn't it be nice
if we could all be like you?

- Well, I'm pleased that
you'd like to be like me,

you know, a man with
no worldly possessions,

and I think I'd like to
help you out in your goal.

- Really?

- By relieving you of your car, get out.

(tires screeching)

- You fucker!

(punk rock music)

(Kerine whistles)

(head thuds)

(punk rock music)

The car is powered by a
stock bore and stroke,

48 Mercury engine equipped
with an Edelbrock.

Eight and a half to one heads,

and an Offenhauser triple manifold

with three Stromberg 97 carburetors.

Ass, gas, or grass.

No one rides for free!

(punk rock music)

- Wait, I mean, don't,
don't do this, sister.

I feel like we were lovers,
you know, in another world.

I mean, can't you feel it?

I mean, let's smoke some
grass and start a revolution!

- If there's one thing I
can't stand, it's a hippie.

(gun firing)

- Bummer (grunts).

- And that's how I got my gun.

- Maybe I could kill a hippie.

Tomorrow I gotta kill somebody.

- How many more you like?

- One.

- Can I kill the last one for ya?

- [Blackie] If that's okay with Mikey.

- Will it count as one of the 12?

- Yeah, I don't see why not?

Your blood is mixed with mine.

- What if I kill more than one, like two?

- No, baby, that would
just give me a headache.

I'm in enough hot water as it is already.

If we don't kill by the rules,
we'll be stuck here forever.

- I certainly wouldn't
want to break any rules.

but when I kill, I kind of lose count.

(mysterious music)

(Kerine laughing maniacally)

(mysterious music)

(pointer thuds)

- [Agent] In Mississippi?

- Unlikely spot.

- Not really, if you know
the history of the Chickasaw.

- Well, we've all heard the end is coming.

So, what are we up against?

- Well, according to Larry,

these beings are
ultra-conservative in nature,

and uh, they base their look

on American culture of the late 50s.

They mistrust anything they
perceive as being foreign,

although they're foreign themselves.

- And there's nothing
we can do about that?

- Oppose them, with another archetype.

- [Fed] Our collective
subconscious energy?

- [Officer] And the
Men in Black will come.

- [Fed] These Men in Black
with their Asian features.

- Greasers see them as a
threat, natural opponents.

- Let's bring them here as our guests,

and talk about this problem
that only we can see.

- I don't think we have that much time.

- Let's bring them here to kill our own.

- Hey, what was your vacation like?

- A world without men.

- Now, don't feel like a stranger.

Everything is just like you left it.

Oh, now don't pay no attention to your Ma.

(metal thuds)

She don't talk.

She got quiet since you went to prison.

Uh, Kerine, uh come on in here, girl.

We got it fixed up real nice for ya.

- Take me to the woodshed.

- No, we got a new room for ya.

Hey, Ma, can't we go to
show Tinkerbell her present.

The social worker said

you asked for these quite awhile back,

but damned if I can remember.

- I needed that 21 years ago.

- Well, it's a 1975 set, hon.

(mysterious music)

- [Kerine] Let's see what
it says about prison.

- Go on, go to your room then.

Nothings changed out there either.

- [Blackie] What the hell's
taking Kerine so long?

- I don't know, Blackie.

You getting bored?

- Hey, Tinkerbell.

If you need me, I'll be
working on the old car.

(mysterious music)

- [Narrator] Kerine loved to bang.

She banged on things,

but since Kerine was reared
way out in the sticks,

her parents never showed her a
love for artistic expression.

There was no way for Kerine
to vent transgressions.

Kerine's mother hated her guts,

so Kerine made lots of
trips to the woodshed.

Until one day,

turned on by the idea

that she could bang on
skin that was still alive,

Kerine decided to bang on her parents,

bash their skulls in, that is.

So, Kerine got sent to the big bird cage,

where they like to fricassee.

Now, she's off with five
years of good behavior.

The first time she failed.

Now Kerine has a new skin,

and she won't make the
same mistakes again.

(Mike clucking)

(fists thudding)

(gun firing)

- I'm gonna kill your
ass now, motherfucker.

(gun firing)

Kerine, Kerine, Kerine!

Oh, Kerine.

There was nine when I started.

I choked the redneck.

Mike stomped the nurse.

Now, Kerine's plugged the old lady.

That's 12, that's 12.

- Hey man.

- This is the 12th victim.

We can go home now.

- Kerine's outside, you
better check with her first.

- Aw, shit!

(head thuds)

- [Ghostly Voices] 13,
13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13,

13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13!

You killed 13!

You know that's too many!

Bring her back, goddamn it!

Bring the old fucker back!

(fist thuds)

- My father was victim 12,

so my mother was the last
to die (laughs loudly).

- I checked for a pulse.

I think I'm gonna go haul off the old man.

- You screwed up big time!

(mysterious music)

- Ah Blackie, you've wasted
your time since you escaped,

and this gang you run with,

they influence the kill,

and need I remind you,

you haven't killed the young.

You've killed your elders.

And this woman, oh,
she's got power over you.

For that alone, you should
remain on Earth forever.

- [Blackie] What are you talking about?

- Shut up kid.

I know what you are trying to do.

Listen, here's your chance
to make everything A-okay.

You must take back the death of the mother

by sacrificing a new victim,

one of my choosing, number 14.

The mother will come back and
a window of time will open.

- Huh?

- Now this is what you have
to do if you want to return.

- Who's this chosen victim?

- I got news for you.

It won't be anyone old.

(mysterious music)

- You got to help me, I'm trying.

(mysterious music)

(cane thuds)

- Whatever man, I know it seems bad.

- There's a way out of this, Mikey.

Kerine, look at me.

Kerine, look at me.

We're stuck here till we work
this shit out with the Elders.

We're going to bury your
father in the 12th grave,

and your momma's gonna ride
in the back of the Pacer.

- Why?

- I've got to kill another victim.

Only me, understand?

- I couldn't stand it if
she were to live again.

I don't know what I'd do.

I'd go crazy!

- Me, you, and Mikey are
linked together by blood.

We have to live by our actions.

If you wanted to kill somebody,

you should have checked with me first!

(punk rock music)

- [Kerine] You should have
told me you, motherfucker.

How was I to know what
your fucked plans were?

- [Blackie] I did tell
you last night, bitch.

(gun firing)

(fist thuds)

- I'm tough, you bastard.

We'll see who loves and who wins.

(Kerine laughs loudly)

Kill, kill, kill!

(punk rock music)

- Look at that.

She put that pin over her heart

right where I first nailed her.

- [Mike] So, do we know
who this chosen victim is?

- They'll let me know, but
I hope it happens soon.

I don't like this anymore than y'all do.

- Hey man, let me
waffle-stomp this next one.

- Nobody do anymore killing.

I'm the one who's to kill.

Just a little while longer
and we can all go home.

I'm sure of it.

(siren wailing)

They don't wanna stop us.

(siren wailing)

(punk rock music)

Looks like rain's closing down the fair,

but we lost that cop.

(siren wailing)

- I think I'm gonna wander
around a little bit.

Just to get away from that.

♪ I wonder if you'll tire
of me before too long ♪

♪ I say no ♪

♪ I won't go ♪

♪ I'm not the one you want ♪

- Step right up, kids.

You still have to step right up.

Last show, last show.

If you will throw this
woman your spare change.

For unlike you and I, she
cannot afford insurance.

And now from Northeast Mississippi,

the strongest woman in the world,

and friend to bikers everywhere.

Go, go Goliatha and her
triumphs of the will!

(punk rock music)

- Go, Goliatha.

(punk rock music)

Hey baby, I didn't know you rode a bike.

- Yeah, the nurses gave it back to me.

- The nurses at the nut house?

What the hell happened to you anyway?

- I don't know.

The nurses put my stuff on the
road and there sat my bike,

which is everything I own,

so I just took off.

- I could see why the nurse
wouldn't want you there.

- Well, it's weird, but Mike?

- Yeah?

- You were the only guy
I really remembered.

- Well I was the only guy there.

I forgot, I gotta go meet my friends.

Do you wanna come with me?

- Wait.

- Hey baby, easy on the threads.

I dig you too.

- But, you got any money?

- I prefer the unreal things.

You know, the things that don't cost.

- Well, I have to pay
for my medication now.

- Baby, if I had money, I'd
give you every red cent.

(carousel music)

(woman screaming)

(crowd jeering)

- Greaser.

- Hippie.

- Short hair.

- Long hair.

- Lo-Fi.

- Prog.

- Delinquent!

- Dropout!

- Right!

- Left!

- Hawk!

- Dove!

- Fascist!

- Anarchist!

- War monger!

- Draft Dodger!

- Loser (laughing loudly)!

(carousel music)

- Hey y'all, this is D'Lana.

- 14!

- I think we're gonna go
take a ride on her motorbike.

Same old hideout?

- Same old hideout.

- [Mother] 14!

- [Blackie] It's not who the Elders want.

- Well, then who is it, me?

- It's D'Lana, Kerine, D'Lana.

- Hey, hey, hey, how about it guys?

One dollar, that's all
it takes, one dollar!

- D'Lana, you're letting her get away.

- Aw, cool down.

It means I didn't have to kill her here

in front of everybody.

- I see she's got a real
attraction for the Beautiful Boy.

- It'll spell the end of
our relationship with him.

- [Carny] Hey, we got a winner!

- Of course, it will be his own fault,

falling for a victim like that.

- [Carny] Lucky 14,

proof positive that
anybody can be a winner!

- I wanna kill her.

- My blood is in the bloodwood.

- And so is D'Lana's.

♪ I remember '68 ♪

♪ Time was all you get to play ♪

♪ It made me so sad ♪

♪ So, I thought of you and my '68 ♪

♪ Elvis on your license plate ♪

- Do you ever read comic books?

- I can't read.

I just like to look at the pictures.

- Hmm, you remind me of the horror type.

Let me go get you something.

♪ Grease and greasers got to go ♪

- Where's D'Lana?

- Mikey, you know we gotta
kill your girlfriend.

- What?

- She's just a piece of ass.

Besides it's probably too late.

(cane whooshes)

- This is the blood of
animals I've killed.

- I should have killed
you when I had the chance.

(gun firing)

- Looking for me, Blackie?

(cane whooshing)

(gun firing)

- (growls) All I ever wanted
was those X-ray specs.

(Kerine meows)

(Mother groans)

(Kerine screams)

(gun firing)

(Mother laughing maniacally)

(Kerine screams)

(Man In Black laughing maniacally)

(punk rock music)

(mysterious music)

- [Ghostly Voices] 13,
13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13,

13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13.

- [Man On Speaker] Kill the hippies.

Kill, kill, kill the hippies.

Kill the hippies.

(mysterious music)

- (giggles) Heaven too,
heaven too, heaven too.

(punk rock music)

I belong to the Dead.

I can't help you no more.

(punk rock music)

- Who spurs the beast
the corpse will ride.

Who cries the cry, who kills.

When Satan questions, who replied,

once blows this wind that chills.

What answers when the banshee
cries, and kills, and kills.

(all laughing loudly)

And kills, and kills, and kills.

(fist thuds)

And kills, and kills.

- [Kerine] Mother!

(brick thuds)

- Where is D'Lana?

(Angel giggles)

(Men In Black scream)

(car engine roaring)

- [Man On Speaker] Rise, loser, wake up!

There's still a chance to kill D'Lana!

Do you hear me, rise, rise!

(eerie organ music)

(tires screeching)

(D'Lana screaming loudly)

- Mike (screams loudly)!

Mike (screams loudly)!

(thunder crashing)

(D'Lana screaming)
(Men In Black grunting)

- D'Lana, I'll be back!

♪ Going out of my mind ♪

♪ And I vow that we will survive ♪

(bike engine roaring)

(suspenseful music)

- Not yet.

(suspenseful music)

- Hey Conway, we're through.

- All right, come on, Stella.

Up, let's move!

- Hey, where's my 20?

(suspenseful music)

- I told you they weren't men, goddamn it!

They were aliens!

No, they were dressed in
black, Asian, and younger!

Didn't you see them?

Can't you please remember
who brought me here?

- You are charged with

the first degree murder of Pig Bryson,

a cashier at the Alpine
store you frequented.

You are also charged with

the first degree murder of Nurse McComb,

with whom you have had
contact with in the last year,

and with whom witnesses have placed you.

- [Radio Announcer] This is
your Memphis hotline to news.

Former asylum inmate D'Lana Tunnell

has been charged with
four counts of murder

and one hippie death.

These recent slayings in
Northeast, Mississippi,

in the Jericho community,

coincide with the discovery of nine graves

behind the Lee County Drive-In.

Graves containing those victims

whom the police believe
were killed 42 years ago.

- [Elder] D'Lana must die by your hands,

if you are to return home.

- Woo, I'm hungry.

I know right where I'm going
when we get to Memphis.

- What about my mother?

She's beginning to stink!

- Medium rare, Western Steak Lounge.

- I know you don't wanna think about this,

but you're not gonna get another
chance at D'Lana's throat.

I say let's bury her, baby,

and forget about this cosmic shit.

- All right, we'll bury
her when we get to Memphis.

- Like that?

- Why not, everything changes.

We'd stay the same.

- All scenes of horror,
excessive bloodshed,

gory or gruesome crimes, depravity,

lust, sadism, and masochism,
shall not be permitted!

(punk rock music)

- All right, well, since my comedy brand

doesn't bring in the
crowd like it used to,

I've uh, taken up drinking and uh,

so I spend a lot of my time
in places such as this,

and the other week I was in this bar.

Not, not this bar, but well, anyway,

this guy walks in with
a damn duck on his head.

The bartender says,

hey pal, you've got a duck on your head.

- [Man] Yeah, we heard!

- And uh, anyway, the patron says,

yeah, that may have
something to do with the fact

that I've just fucked your mother.

(audience jeers)

You're not really into
family oriented humor, I see.

Well, anyway, I haven't always

lived the glamorous lifestyle
of the night club comedienne.

I was a pizza delivery driver

for this vegetarian place
called Peace of Pie.

I delivered exclusively to hippies,

and I tell you I did learn
one thing on the job,

and that's the difference--

- [Man] That's funny, hey.

- There was a difference
between a hippie and an onion.

- [Man] What's that?

- Well, you don't cry so
much when you cut the hippie.

(audience laughs)

- [Guy] Let's hear some music.

- All right, well enough of my yammering.

- [Man] Go home!

- I'd like to introduce,

all the way from New Orleans, Louisiana,

the naughty nights of rock and
roll, the Royal Pendletons.

(light guitar music)

♪ I don't want nobody
teasing around with me ♪

♪ I don't want no, nobody
teasing with around me ♪

♪ I may be weak ♪

♪ I may be strong ♪

- I hope you don't mind
if I sit down, would ya?

I tell ya, I don't want you to think

I'm some kind of fucked up, you know,

but I just got to be with the people,

and I know you're my kind of people.

- Watch out, you're spitting on my steak.

- Oh man, I'm sorry, geez.

Hey, people call me Tuthpick.

- Tuthpick?

- Yeah, Tuthpick.

I'm not keeping you, am I?

- We're trying to have a quiet moment.

- Geez, listen, I know your situation.

I'm from the same place he is.

- Oh yeah, where would that be?

- I'm a hot rod J.D.
from outer space, man.

Sent down here to Memphis
to kill 12 hippies,

just like I just told you.

- Well, it looks like you missed a couple.

12, who told you to kill 12?

- The Rulers of the Lo Frequency,
man, the Elders, whatever.

You thought I was
shitting you, didn't you?

Well, let me tell you something, man.

They're all around us.

They're sent down here to live cheap,

but they don't stay here long.

- You said you killed 12.

- No, no, no, no, I killed too many,

and that's why I'm trapped here forever.

- Hey, Kerine, uh could you
get us some more beer, please?

- Yeah, I think I've heard all
this bullshit before anyway.

Tuthpick, we're in the
same motherfucking boat.

I first came to this planet
in 1954 to kill beatniks,

and they were like us at
first, cool, unsteady,

then they changed.

The Elders claimed that civilization

started going to the dogs.

When the beatnik thing caught on,

they sent me to take care of 12.

- That's not enough.

- Now I was sent out to Mississippi.

Believe me, beatniks are hard to find

in Mississippi in 1954.

So, my time ran out, and I
went back to our world a loser.

- Yeah, and they all became
hippies after you left,

and the decline of western
civilization continued.

- I come back to finish the kill.

Of course, can't find anything now,

but a bunch of old farts.

Course, me and my blood bunch

started having a little too much fun,

fucked around, killed too many,

now we're stuck here just like you.

- Well, you're a winner in
one department though, man.

That redhead, woo!

- Yeah, they warned me about women too.

Everything is a test of
manhood with the Elders.

- Yeah, and they make up their
own rules as they go along.

- If I could kill this one extra chick,

then my fuck up would be forgotten.

I'd be on my way home now.

Course, I fucked up again.

- You didn't get to snuff her?

- Tuthpick, circumstances prevented it!

Now this chick is locked away

where I'll never be able
to get my hands on her.

- Why did the Elders pick her?

- That's what I don't understand.

She ain't a hippie.

- Sounds like a trick, man.

They tricked me too, you know.

- The Elders went against their word.

- They told me exactly what they told you.

Kill another, then another,

and then you find out

they're never gonna
let you go back anyway.

You're just a machine for
the old man's politics.

Let me tell you a little story, man.

It was 1978, of course to me,
it was like it was yesterday.

You know what I mean?

And I'd been in Memphis
for about one week.

All I had to do was kill one
more hippie, Chuck Moonchow.

Dissatisfaction with society.

Mistreated by the culture
that gave them food.

Living in school.

Can't get them up unless the
government props them up.

What's their problem, huh?

Whatever happened to their

good old fashion will power, I ask you?

Anyways, I had my last
hippie kill to get through.

I was instructed by my
connection where to find him.

(knocking on door)

(punk rock music)

My last moments on Earth were to be spent

with my boot heel an inch
thick in hippie blood.

(punk rock music)

♪ Downtown, gonna move around ♪

♪ Uh huh, uh huh ♪

♪ Pick it up, yeah, uh huh ♪

- Peace O' Pie, man!

♪ Gonna move around ♪

♪ Whatever happened to
Miss Liberty, we ask ♪

♪ Getting by in this
world's not an easy task ♪

♪ Everything has turned
into a quite a nightmare ♪

♪ They ridicule us for
the clothes we wear ♪

♪ The way we talk, the
way we grow our hair ♪

♪ Do those lousy humans
really even care, yeah ♪

- Stop!


♪ We are the sore losers ♪

♪ We hardly ever knew her ♪

♪ We played a losing game with life ♪

♪ You see the stakes were much too high ♪

♪ Took our childhood, and
it left us with a sigh ♪

♪ It makes me ask the undying
question why, why, why, why ♪

(guns firing)

- When I saw that the hippies
were dropping like flies,

I knew I had gone over my
limit, but it was too late.

It, it was like an orgasm.

I figured it placed me

on an even lower
frequency with the Elders.

They're trying to trick you
into killing this girl D'Lana,

and what's more, getting caught doing it.

Let her blood be on the hands of others,

then the window might open
for both of us to get back.

- Well wait, they told Blackie
only he could kill D'Lana.

- Then believe the opposite
of what you were told.

It would have done me a lot of good

to know that 18 years ago.

- Ah, so when the state kills D'Lana,

I'll still need the
old mother to get back.

- Aw, fucking wait a minute!

You just met this idiot.

He could be one of them.

- Hey, I found her!

Give me a hand!

- I still wouldn't kill
anybody if I were you.

- Fuck you.

- Hey, why don't you
kill some loser, then?


(punk rock music)

♪ Come inside for the movie ♪

♪ For the movie ♪

♪ I wanna like you, I wanna need you ♪

- Not if I kill her first.

(punk rock music)

♪ Come say to me I don't know ♪

(upbeat jazz music)

- [Man] Right here.

- [Bartender] Hold on.

(upbeat jazz music)

- What the fuck do you want?

- Honey, you can't give me what I want.

I want her number.

(upbeat jazz music)

(speaking in foreign language)

(light guitar music)

- [Mikey] You were never
one of us, were you Kerine?

- [Kerine] And what were you?

I could never tell.

- [Mikey] I was immortal.

- What was it that did you in, Michael?

Was it losing your blood brother?

Was it falling love?

Or was it the Men in Black?

- [Mikey] Cut that blood brother shit.

Blood lost it's power, started to change.

- Blood may give out, Michael,

but hate never will.

That's what keeps me young.

- [Mikey] I use to think I owed Blackie,

because he made me immortal.

Now I realize that's why I hate him.

I never wanted to hate
anybody, except you, that is.

- It's not easy being evil, Michael!

Voices from other worlds
telling you what to do!

(punk rock music)

(moves into mysterious music)

- Hello, Satan (chuckles).

- Hello God.

- Destroying youth has brought you to us.

Even though you look like a woman,

you have qualities we may need.

- Fuck you!

- We had hoped that
Blackie would kill D'Lana,

thereby sealing his fate.

Somehow or other, the
truth was revealed to him.

- I'll do anything you say!

Just don't bring my mother back.

- Then you kill D'Lana.

After all, you and Blackie
are of the same blood.

It would be as if he had done it himself.

If you can find a way, and
I promise you one thing,

if you do, your mother
will never haunt you again.

- If you're lying, I'll
find a way back here,

and I'll kill you.

(Elder laughing)

(mysterious music)

(Kerine screams)

- Quit fucking around, will ya?

Tuthpick's letting us stay
here till the window opens.

In fact, I gotta go
meet Tuthpick right now.

- You're going to leave me here?

Where the hell are you going?

- To Crosstown!

- Profanity, obscenity, smut,

vulgarity, or words, or symbols

which have required undesirable meaning

are forbidden, forbidden.

- You know what, dude?

I'm going to let the manager
take a look at these, okay?

So, why don't you browse for a bit?

(light rock music)

- Watch what you say about Steppenwolf.

They'll kill your ass.

- Man, I can't see a hippie
being all that violent.

(light rock music)

- [Tuthpick] You gotta keep

the motherfuckers doped up, man.

Or else the smart ones
will organize a revolt.

- [Blackie] So, the government
let's them do just about--

- [Tuthpick] Hell, they
are the government!

They're coming for your uncool niece.

(eerie whispers)

(mysterious music)

(horn blowing)

- Hey, they're waiting for the stuff.

Get out there and get the money!

Go on, get the money this time!

Go on, get on out there!

- Schlitz!

- Goddamn, these people.

Hey, hey, I got a week's
paycheck in there, back off!

I should've known it was you boys!

Just get your ass back to outer space!

(Men In Black growling)

(gun firing)

(Bootlegger screaming)

(mysterious music)

- [Leader] Beer!

- [Men In Black] Beer!

(mysterious music)

- [Mike] If society is to survive,

the artist must be kept
on the bottom rung.

Of course, you know I love's you, baby.

(door thuds)

(mysterious music)

(television static)

(mysterious music)

(child giggling)

- [D'Lana] M-I-K-E-M-A-K-E-R

(mysterious music)

(television static)

(mysterious music)

- [Radio Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,

I've just been handed
this by a prison official

who wishes to remain anonymous.

D'Lana Tunnell is to be
electrocuted at midnight

by the state of Tennessee.

Politicians had hoped
to keep this a secret

to avoid protests from
the growing good girl cult

that has championed D'Lana's
body if not her intent.

D'Lana's last request

was the final issue of
a particular comic book

banned by the government 42 years ago.

♪ Tell me why should it be ♪

♪ You in that room, in that room ♪

- Where you going?

- I know D'Lana dies at midnight.

I'll have the car back before then,

so we can return to this
fucking world of yours!

(mysterious music)

- So, that's all I have
for notes from last month.

Does anybody have any sightings to report?

Uh, Leo?

- [Leo] The art is on the side.

- I'm sorry I'm late.

- Do you have a sighting to report?

- Well, not exactly.

I just knew that you people
would be the only ones

who would believe me.

It occurred to me that I was different.

That I was born under a sign,

and that's why these
things happened to me.

It's always been hard for
me to remember, until now.

Well, I was going to be married I think,

but then I was abducted

by this old timers cult from outer space

who came to Earth to kill the young,

but things got all mixed up.

The cult stayed young, but
the gods, the gods got older.

Anyway, I was taken by the Men In Black,

and then arrested by the FBI,

and an angel kissed me with her blood,

and then I saw the end of the world.

- And when might that be?

- Tomorrow.

- [All] Tomorrow?

- Tombs of the dead blasted open.

Children smothered in their own blood.

Just like it says in Revelations.

I feel sorry for the people

that have to live through tomorrow.

That's why I've come to kill you.

(man laughing)

- Into the depths of the sea,

and a tempest hath overwhelmed me.

Save me, O God.

For the waters are
coming, even unto my soul.

I stick fast in the mire of the deep,

and there is no sure standing.

I have labored.

(door thuds)

(siren wailing)

(gun firing)

Let them not ashamed of me.

To look for the, uh.

(guns firing)

To prepare my strength, O God.

A formidable God, for thou,
for thou hast salvation.

God is the--

(gun firing)

(priest screams)

- Say hello to my mother.

(punk rock music)

- [Radio Announcer] We
interrupt this musical program

to bring you an urgent bulletin
from the City Penitentiary.

Someone has broken through security

and killed several of the prison guards.

Many shots were fired,
but the killer, a woman,

seems impervious to bullets.

- Hey, hey, my old lady
just flew the coop.

It's me and you, dude.

- Hey man, I'm sorry about that, man.

You can't have my car though.

- Aw, we ain't got time
to be fucking around, T.P.

- The name is Tuthpick,

and I mean it, you can't have my car!

- I thought we had an agreement.

- Man, listen to the radio!

Something's up!

Time ain't right!

- Listen, Kerine is still a loser.

She may get to D'Lana, but
she ain't getting to me.

- You'll never make it!

Not in my car!

If Kerine gets to that D'Lana chick,

it'll be like you snuffing her.

The window's never going to open!

(punk rock music)

♪ I'll take the whole good day ♪

♪ To be in my apartment at home ♪

(car engine roaring)

♪ At home, where I get those thrills ♪

♪ I got time to kill, but I love ya ♪

- Good Luck!

(punk rock music)

(telephone ringing)

- [Man] Hello, stay the
electrocution of D'Lana Tunnell!

The Governor has said she
is innocent of all crimes!

This is on the governors orders!

Hello, please, please, pick up the phone!

Stay the electrocution of D'Lana Tunnell!

Please, will somebody pick up the phone?

Stay the electrocution!

Please, pick up the phone, please!

(telephone beeping)

- [Narrator] D'Lana Tunnell is,

was a messenger from the Amazon Planet

deep within the Pleiadian Constellation.

She was sent to Earth to warn
us of the coming fifth comet.

But when she was little,

D'Lana smacked her skull on the pavement.

Her psychic powers irrevocably damaged,

D'Lana began to ride motorcycles
and listen to race music.

D'Lana was left with a notion,

like so many other harbingers,

that she was to do something
very, very important.

If she could only remember what it was.

♪ Time was in a vacuum ♪

♪ When I wanted to be free, yeah, yeah ♪

(flies buzzing)
(mysterious music)

(fist thudding)

(speaking in foreign language)

(mysterious music)

- Sidney.

(mysterious music)

(zombie screaming)

(mysterious music)

(thunderous explosion)

- Why?

- [Elder] Because (laughing).

You're a loser (laughing).