The Reenactment (2021) - full transcript

[♪]

[♪]

[♪]

[man] What are we doing
right now?

Unpacking kitchen supplies.

Somebody call Robin Leach.

[man]
Should we raise a toast?

[♪]

[♪]

- Got a little Gran Spumante.
- [chuckles]

- Crack that open.
- Yeah.



- Fancy.
- I think this is one of the good ones.

They're all good.
They have sparkles.

Yeah.

[indistinct dialog]

[♪]

Perfect.

Yeah.

Absolutely need it
after all the unpacking.

My God.

[indistinct dialog]

- [sighs]
- Got it.

All right, watch out.

- [cork pops]
- [laughing]

[♪]



- All right, here we go.
- Yay!

- Bubbly?
- We don't do this enough.

What's up with that?
You're working too hard.

You're working too hard.

- You're right, I'm working too hard.
- You are.

[chuckling]

[indistinct dialog]

[♪]

All right.

- Well...
- To our new home.

To our new home.

[glasses clink]

[♪]

[♪]

[man] Whoa. Whoa. Hey!

[♪]

[narrator] There is the world
that we know.

And there's the world of
the impossible...

and the unknown.

These two worlds are often
closer than we think,

and with your help, we can
uncover the real truths.

behind these myths...

and mysteries.

[♪]

Coming up:

crop circles in Nebraska.

The work of aliens or
a mischievous dog?

Are fungus networks
the future of Wall Street?

Cattle mutilations in
the American Southwest.

Can an Ohio woman
legally marry a ghost?

Up next on
Myths & Mysteries.

[♪]

[♪]

[woman] Not long after
my husband left,

I felt a presence in the house.

I came home late
from work one night,

and all of the cabinets
and drawers in the kitchen

were slamming
open and shut.

- [rattling]
- [screaming]

At first,
it was terrifying.

[door squeaks]

Yes, uh, she called me
real late one night

after a bowling tournament,

and said to come over
immediately.

So I just figured she wasn't
used to staying by herself

or anything like that.

After that deadbeat husband
took off on her...

whew, what an asshole.

He wanted to be an actor,
ran off to Hollywood.

- We could be famous, couldn't we, old Peter?
- [cat meows]

I think it's
some kind of ghost.

It's not a ghost. It's probably
your ex-husband messing with you.

Could be bowling right now.

[Elizabeth] What I felt in the
kitchen that night wasn't evil.

It was trying to
reach out to me,

to communicate.

And that's when I saw him
for the first time.

[paper rustling]

Ken! Come here!

- Did you see him?
- See who?

The soldier.
He was right there.

What soldier?

That's when she said
she met him.

Her soldier.

I started seeing him
more often.

His poetry
moved me to my core.

He told me his name was
Jeremiah Thompson.

So I went to the library
and looked him up.

He had been a casualty in
the Battle at Antietam.

[whooshing]

We believe this to be between

a stage three and
stage four haunting,

all dependent on
the degree of...

intimacy in the relationship.

[whooshing]

The legality is crystal clear
on most things

in regards to interactions with
the living and the deceased.

But, uh...
in this case, um...

th... this one is different.

It wasn't long
before I suggested

we made things official.

Yeah.
She wants to marry it.

This is all quite acceptable
in other cultures.

[sighs] We've had a hard time
finding a priest.

[♪]

- Hey, Jane.
- [keyboard clacking]

- What?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

I wasn't interrupting you,
was I?

You are, actually.

Oh. The police tape came in.

Can you just give me a minute
to finish this?

Yeah, if you can tell me
where Hannah is.

[chuckles] Oh, boy.

And then let her know
I'm on the way,

that way I can make one of those
grand entrances.

I just want to make sure that it
doesn't interfere with your work.

Yeah, it's all about the work,
yes, the work.

Okay? You don't have to
worry about anything, Jane,

because I am a professional.

Well, marriage is also work,

and you're recently divorced,

so just want to make sure you
get your head on straight.

Did you hear something?

Did you hear
something?

No, I heard something?

Alan, I'm serious, I definitely
heard something outside.

- [knocking]
- There's a knock at the door.

You're not supposed to be here.

Oh, God, Alan, what are we
supposed to do?

Uh, "Travis, tie up the girl,"

- Alan says...
- Over my dead body.

Bang! Your boyfriend
just got shot in the head.

[screaming]

[screaming continues]

It was good work.
Thank you for coming in.

- Yeah, no problem.
- [Jane] Yeah, I like your T-shirt.

Thank you, it's... yeah,
I just got it, so...

- [Jane] Great.
- I like your...

I don't know what that is
but I like it.

[man]
Collins crime scene tape.

This is the walk-up.

As you can see,

no signs of breaking
and entering.

Door appears to be
unlocked. Yep.

Blood on door frame.

Master bedroom.

The primary crime scene.

Bodies were covered
when we arrived.

Not sure by who.

Murder weapon appears to be
left on premises.

The double-barreled shotgun.

Approximately $150?

Yeah. Was recovered

from where it had been left
on the stove.

Male victim, shot.

Female victim...
appears to have been stabbed

by the same
double-barreled shotgun.

Lovingly brandished by
my partner here.

Wrapping it up like a bouquet
for your sweetie,

just because.

- [tape ejecting]
- [Jane] Whoo! They seem professional.

[man] Don't let them
investigate my murder.

[chuckles] Honestly,
the crime scene photos are way worse.

Yeah, those Wallach brothers
were some real sick bastards.

I think this is probably

top five most gruesome murders
we've covered.

Hm, yeah, the shot, it's up
if you want to take a look.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

I like the fog.

Yeah, we should probably re-haze
before shooting, actually.

Yeah, at least we agree
on something.

Uh, looks nice, though.

Definitely feels mysterious.

Yo, you need some help
with all that?

I think I'm good.

Did you get a receipt?

Yeah, I got a deal on
some of it, actually.

Ah, good for you. Thanks.

Hey, where's the boss man?
I need to mic him up again.

[Jane] Uh, Gordon, could you take
Phil down the hall to wardrobe?

Hey, Phil, did you win those
Mudhoney tickets?

Fuck no, bro.

They said I was, like,
three callers away,

but I got a rad shirt,
though.

You listen to Mudhoney, too?

Shut the fuck up, Gordon.

Well, it's nice to know
you at least came close.

Eh, I guess so.

Did you get granola bars?

Gonna see if there's some.

You got the receipt.

Yeah,
camera's basically ready.

All right. We got everything
ready for location tomorrow?

Yep, we got the batteries,
backup batteries,

tapes, extra reels, the works.

- Mm.
- We're all packed up and ready to go.

You want a granola bar?

Is this a reward for all my
hard work, Jane?

It's more like
a half-hearted substitute,

'cause I know that you skipped
a meal to get everything done.

You know, that's very generous
and kind of you.

I gladly accept.

I have my moments.

I'm not a tyrant.

Judy Hines is alive
and living in Omaha.

I still don't know
what that means.

[Jane]
Sorry to keep you waiting.

[man] You know, we get paid
to wait, not to act.

[Phil] [laughing]
That shit's funny.

You know, I'm so sorry to hear
about those Mudhoney tickets,

I'm gonna work something out.

So, you think we can knock out
the rest of these segments?

Oh, really? And then you're
gonna be able to let me go,

is that what you're saying?
Finally?

- Promise.
- Okay.

We, on the other hand,
get to shoot the re-enactments tomorrow.

Hey, man, you think you can
hook me up with,

like, uh, you know,
whoever has it?

- Mm-hm.
- Okay.

Okay, we gotta get started because
I've already started, uh, drinking.

[chuckles] That's not...
That's not true.

Ah, I do like the fog.

You're standing
a little awkward.

I'm in the same place
I always am, right?

[man] He's fucking handsome,
he's like, uh, Billy Dee Williams.

[Jane] Okay, I'm gonna
interpret that as ready.

Ready, Wilbur?
Uh, sound.

[Phil] Wango tango.

- [man] Camera speed.
- [Jane] All right.

- Wango Tango.
- Ready, Wilbur?

[Wilbur] All right, let's do it.
[clears throat]

I'm a Shakespearean actor,
but it's okay.

- Deep breath.
- Excuse me, is this a new PA?

- [Jane] Yeah, he's new.
- Uh, sir, sir.

It's blank. You need to turn
the whole thing around.

- Pardon?
- Oh, uh, wrong cards.

Gordon, flip it around.

So much to dwell
in a dungeon cell,

growing thin and wizened
in a solitary prison,

it's a poor lookout for
a soldier stout...

All right, we ready?
Guys still rolling?

[Wilbur] Keep it straight, kid,
don't get nervous, all right?

There's the world that we know.

And there's the world of
the impossible...

and unknown.

These two worlds are often
closer than we think,

and with your help,
we can uncover the real truth

behind these myths
and mysteries.

And cut.
That was nice.

I think we can
mark that and move on.

- Camera cuts.
- [Jane] Good.

No, it was really good.

Did I say it right?

Yeah.

Every time you say those lines,
it gets better and better.

Do we always have to wear this
freakin' trench coat?

I feel like McGruff,
the crime dog.

It goes with the backdrop
really well.

- Studio loves it.
- You know what?

I... I have a really nice
sweater collection.

I did not know that.

[Wilbur] Because
you never asked. All right?

March 15, 1985,

Sumner County, Tennessee.

At 4:54 p.m.,
two men in ski masks,

both carrying shotguns,

robbed the First National Bank
of Tennessee.

They fled the scene in a green
1976 Pontiac Catalina

with $34,000 in cash.

The two men were
quickly identified as

Travis and
Randall Wallach,

also known as
the Wallach brothers.

They were already wanted for
multiple bank robberies

in surrounding areas.

The Wallach brothers headed straight
for their designated safe house

Unbeknownst to them,
a young married couple

named Alan and Sandra Collins

had recently purchased
the property

and were currently spending
their first night alone

in their new home.

On the following morning,

Alan and Sandra Collins
were found dead

on the floor of their
master bedroom

by the moving company.

The sheer brutality of
what they found

was almost unimaginable.

Alan had been shot in the face
at point blank range,

and Sandra had been stabbed
multiple times

by the same shotgun.

A handful of marked bills

left neatly stacked on
the kitchen counter

was all that remained
of the Wallach brothers.

Their whereabouts...

remain unknown.

Cut. I think we got that.

You're damn right we got it.

Judy Hines is alive
and living in Omaha!

- [feedback squealing]
- Oh.

All right, it peaked a little
at the end there.

- [Jane] Sorry about that.
- [woman] Who's Judy Hines?

[Jane] It's just
a thing he says.

- My mom knew a Judy Hines.
- Shut the fuck up, Gordon.

[man on radio]
Okay, we got a 1990 Chevy van.

The number is 544...

[Gordon]
What's up, buddy?

My car's busted and now I gotta
ride to the studio with you?

[Gordon] It was my idea.

Jane wanted to
make you call a cab.

Yeah, that sounds like Jane.

I gotta stop and get gas,
though.

Fuck it. Put this in.

Sure. What is it?

Just fuckin' listen to it.

[man] This is where the
experience of yourself comes...

This Mudhoney?

Goddammit, Gordon,
just fuckin' drive!

Bet it is Mudhoney.

[♪]

So, what happened next?

Oh. We gave them the money.

- [Jane] Hm.
- I mean, that's the normal procedure

in these kinds of situations.

Were you scared for your life?

Well, I was scared at first,

but then they just seemed
kind of desperate.

Oh.

So, when do we get to
the big scene?

Just a minute.

So... two bank robbers
wearing ski masks

pointing a shotgun at your face,

what was going through your mind
at that point?

I mean, did you see your whole
life flash before your eyes?

Um...

they didn't really point
the guns at anyone.

- [Jane] But...
- I don't think they wanted to use 'em.

But you saw your life flash
before your eyes. Right?

Well, the whole time
I was thinking

I just wanted to
get back to my family.

I mean, obviously,
they're violent.

I mean, especially when you
look at what they did

to that poor young couple.

We're gonna cut on that.
Thank you.

Yeah, thank you, Doug.
Really great work. Yeah.

[Doug] Thank you so much.

I'm so glad I finally
got to meet you.

This is one of
my favorite shows.

Nice to meet you, too.

I wish it had been under
different circumstances,

you know, without crime,
but, uh... [chuckles]

[Doug] Oh, that's okay,
I'm a huge fan of the show.

- I... I love it.
- Oh, yeah.

- Love the bow tie.
- Thanks.

- [Jane] Yeah.
- It was a gift last year.

- [man] Nice.
- [Jane] Do that yourself or...

Um, you know, I... I can,

not... not this one,
but I... I can do it.

[Jane] You can
get yourself dressed?

- That's great.
- Absolutely.

[man 1] Everybody get down on
the ground! This is a robbery!

[man 2] Hands flat on the floor
where we can see 'em!

[man 1] We don't need
any heroes today.

[man 2] Where's the manager?

[Jane] And cut!

- [man 3] Cutting.
- [Jane] Okay.

Uh, that was pretty good.
I think we're ready to flip around.

- Okay.
- Yeah. Thank you.

- All right.
- Hey, guys, how'd that feel?

- [man 1] You think I did okay?
- Yeah, you were really great.

You totally can feel your
emotion coming through that mask.

- [man 2] I have to wear this the whole time?
- Yeah.

Well, yeah, we kind of wanted
our faces seen in this.

Well, they're gonna get
taken off at the house, so...

Do I have to wear it
all the way to the house,

or can I take it off
in between takes?

Hey, do you want to move this
all the way up on the counter

and then cover the rest of
this thing from there?

Yeah, I mean, we're not punching
in that much,

so we don't have to get
quite as much coverage,

but I think it'd be good
from there.

All right, well, everything's lit
up, just give me the word.

- Appreciate it.
- Audio's clutch on that, too.

- Thank you.
- Hey, Gordon. Gordon.

- Yeah.
- Okay, um...

Can you help me, uh, move
these sticks over there?

Do you mind if I just get
a quick touch up on everyone?

Yeah, and make sure you do Bill
over here as well, too.

- Okay, great.
- That's Bill. Thank you.

- Jane.
- Yeah?

Where did you want me to stand
in this scene, 'cause I'm...

- Oh, we actually have someone
to play the bank manager.

That's Bill.
That's movie you.

- [chuckles]
- Yeah. Hey, do I have any lines?

Uh, let me...
You do have one.

- You have, um...
- [man] Hey, shot's up when you have a second.

You're gonna say, "Please,
there's no need for violence."

And when do I say that?

Um... I gonna let you run it
with, uh, Nick and...

Nick and Charlie. Is that it?
Yeah, I'm gonna let you run it

with those guys for
a little bit. Okay?

- Okay, thanks.
- They'll tell you what to do.

- Hey, I'm just gonna
lock this here.

- Perfect.
- [Bill] Please, there's no need for violence.

- Yeah, see, I can do that.
- Hey, hey, look.

If it makes you feel better,
I'll let you play me sometime.

I got a court date next week.

Then I hold this shotgun
up to you and I go, uh,

just give us the money and
nobody's gotta get hurt.

- Is that loaded?
- Of course, it's not loaded.

Why are you still here?

It's like a rule
this can't be real.

- Hey.
- Huh?

- Camera? Rolling?
- Oh, yeah, ready to roll.

- Ready to roll, yeah.
- And sound?

Sound speed.

All right, Charlie, Charlie,
remember that you and Nick

are gonna start from
off camera,

and then you're gonna
enter into frame, okay?

- Ready.
- All right, let's do this.

- [door opens]
- [bell dings]

Uh, everybody hold
first position.

[man] Camera cutting.

- Uh, can I help you?
- Isn't this a bank?

[Jane] It's closed today.

I'm so sorry.

I went to the van for, like,
one second, and she...

Ma'am, it's Sunday,
so we're closed.

Gordon, can you just get her
out of here?

Well, I never!

Look, we can do this
the easy way or the hard way.

- I'll see myself out.
- [Doug] Come back tomorrow.

Gordon, do not let anyone else
through that door.

Not now, not ever,
not 'til we are done shooting

or I will fire you.

- She is a really loyal customer.
- I'm sure she is.

All right, guys, can we just
do this please?

- [man] Yep.
- Camera speed, let's do it.

- Sound speeds.
- Looks are good.

All right,
and actors, ready?

And action!

[Nick] Open the safe or
we start shootin' bow ties!

Please, there's no need
for violence.

[Charlie] Just give us the money
and nobody gets hurt.

- [Jane] And cut!
- [man] Cutting.

Okay, I'm happy with that.
That was a good take.

We'll maybe do one more
for safety.

You're right,
he is sweating a lot.

- A lot.
- I love the bow tie, though.

- Yeah.
- You're doing great.

I think we should fire Gordon.

[man on radio] I got a 1982
Ford F-150 pickup truck.

- I got a Murray lawnmower.
- [man 2] Okay.

A Ford truck and
a Murray lawnmower.

[man 1] I'm also looking for a...
for a Remington shotgun.

[man 2] Oh, he's lookin' for a...
he's lookin' for a shotgun.

[man 1]
A Remington shotgun.

So this is us, huh?

[Jane] You know, guys, I think
probably the best bet

is to just stage everything
out here.

They really nailed that casting.
Look at that stud.

Ha, ha.

That's cute. You guys have
natural chemistry.

It's all part of the job.

- [door squeaks]
- Also, to let you know,

we plan to have
the frame up in about 30,

so then we're just gonna knock
these shots off real quick.

- All right? Be ready.
- So is this your main gig

or do you work on
a lot of other shows?

Hey, Gordon.
Do you have the key?

I gave it to you earlier.

Oh, you know...
That's right, you did.

Sorry. My bad.

Uh, I'm sorry,
I didn't hear

anything you said.

[door creaks]

[♪]

[crickets chirping]

This what they call
a real fixer upper, huh?

Uh, you needed to use
the bathroom, right?

Copy that.
Unless you want it on the floor.

That way, down the hall.

[actor] Hey, has anyone ever
been murdered in there?

Not yet.

- [footsteps approaching]
- [floor creaking]

Do you think it's worth it for
me to make the move out to L.A.?

You know, I don't think
I'm necessarily

who you should be
asking for advice.

[♪]

What's that in the corner?

[man] Hey, Jane, did the realtor
say anything...

That there would be a real ass
dead squirrel? No.

Or a passing reference to
a rodent problem?

No, I would have
remembered that.

Are those wires
sticking out of it?

What are you thinking?
That is a dead animal.

- I have a stick.
- Thank you, Gordon.

- [all exclaiming]
- [coughing, gagging]

[Jane] It's definitely dead.

Well, has anyone tried
plugging it in?

- What?
- Just...

Wango tango, salsa,
cha-cha, whatever, I'm out.

I don't think we're
insured for this.

[whirring]

- [clapping]
- Whoo!

You know, some folks, they would
interpret this as an omen.

You know, finding a dead animal
on the set and whatnot.

I just want to finish this
and get out of here

before it gets too late.

Jane, it's just an old house.

You can't let some homeless
guy's little science project

- get you all shook up.
- It was creepy.

No, it was... it was
a calc-u-squirrel.

- Squirrelulator. Got one in my office.
- Stop.

No cute names for it.

Um, just see if that one works.

All right, well,
apologies in advance if something breaks.

Striking.

There you go.
One down.

[Jane] Do you think there's a
possibility of us breaking something?

Wouldn't that be something that
you should already know?

I just want to know if we're
gonna blow a fuse or not?

Well, we shouldn't,
but you never know

when it comes to
old houses like this.

That's why we usually bring
a generator.

[indistinct audio transmission]

[static]

Gordon!
What the motherfuck!

I just wanted to say, uh...

good thinking with the...
the shovel idea and all.

[metal clanks]

Pick it up.

- I told you not to bother him.
- Yeah.

You're doing a really good job.

Thanks.

Go get 'em, killer.

What time do the movers get here
in the morning?

Not 'til about noon.

Fuck!

[sighs]

I see you've been
terrorizing Gordon.

Oh, God, Gordon's
the fucking worst, though.

He tries so hard.

Hey, you wanna listen to
something?

[cassette rattling]

What's that?

I don't know,
let's find out.

[♪]

I usually listen to Lisa Loeb
and Tracy Chapman.

Oh, yeah, I'm not really
into that at all.

Okay.

[♪]

- Who is it?
- Well, uh, I have band.

Get outta here!

Yeah, uh, look, I... I don't
really like to talk about it.

- It's good.
- Yeah?

[music stops]

I don't have it.
I don't have it yet.

- Can we take that one again?
- Sure.

All right, back to one.

What time do the movers get here
in the morning?

Not 'til about noon.

[clears throat]

You've gotta be kidding me.

That's where I found it.

Didn't Jane say that
all the yard stuff was stored

downstairs against
the fire wall?

Does that look like somewhere
I would willingly go?

It's all part of the job,
Gordon.

Okay, fine.

I believe in you.

[♪]

[rattling]

[rattling continues]

[man] Woo!

- [Gordon screams]
- Fuckin' nailed it.

Sorry, guys, I just...
This is...

This is really hard, you know?

This is tough.

Let's just pick it up from there
if we can.

Can we?

Oh, uh... [clears throat]

Plenty of time to celebrate.

Hey, here's to new beginnings.

- Damn it!
- Woo-hoo-hoo!

Maybe I'm just not cut out
for this, you know?

I don't know.

- What do you think?
- I don't think they'll mind.

[Nick] Who cares?
You die first anyway.

Seriously?

Ahh. I just love
Dean Koontz books.

[paper rustling]

So honestly, that's all
you need to know about

basic three-point lighting.

- Oh, that's interesting.
- Yeah.

Uh, so, Kevin,
are we almost ready?

Uh... yeah, just about.

A little hungry, though.

Yeah, do we have any crafty?

Actually, Jane has some
granola bars in her pocket.

Um, I think we have some
granola bars in the van.

I just thought maybe we'd
get food on the way out.

Well, with the way
things are going,

we will not be
out of here soon.

Okay, well, that's
fantastic news.

But camera's ready as soon as
the actors get here.

That's fine. I'm gonna send
Gordon out, uh, for food.

Gordon!

Gor?

- Yes?
- [Kevin] Oh, my G... Oh, my God!

- Are you okay?
- I'm good.

I get these sometimes.

Gordon, hey.
It's okay, man.

What happened?

Stepped on a nail.

Hey, guys, there's some, uh,
weird blood stains

on the floor in there and...

[chuckles]
Oh, shit.

I think you should go to
the hospital.

I've already got the keys.

Yeah, drag your own dumb ass
to the hospital.

Hey, Phil,
that's harassment.

It's not harassment
if he actually sucks.

But you should
go apologize to him,

he's very clearly in pain.

Oh, shit,
he's actually leaving.

Oh, no. Gordon!

You know, that Gordon,
he could never catch a break.

[Jane] Gordon, can you come back
with some pizza?

[insects chirping]

[Gordon grunts]

[engine starts]

[man on radio]
...1980 GMC Jimmy.

[engine revs]

[man 2 on radio] Okay,
got a GMC Jimmy and...

[insects chirping]

I just can't get out of my own
head about this, man.

Told you I was in
an Ernest movie, right?

- What?
- I was in an Ernest movie.

Like Ernest Goes To Cam?

Eh, Goes To Jail,
but yeah, same Ernest.

- Okay, so you were in an Ernest movie.
- Yep.

Yeah, one day I was having some
troubles with some of my lines,

- so Jim, you know, Ernest...
- I know who Jimmy V. is.

Well, Jim takes me to the side
and he says,

"Son, I'm gonna give you
the best piece of acting advice

you're ever gonna hear."

What did he say?

He told me that great acting
is great casting.

- Great acting is great casting?
- Yep.

Well, actually, he said,

"If you want a Bigfoot,
hire a Bigfoot,"

but I'm pretty sure
I knew what he meant.

Know what I mean, Vern?

You think Vern
knew what he meant?

Hm...

[chuckles]

This is weird.

- Well?
- Go ahead.

[Phil] All right.

[door creaks]

[♪]

[creaking]

[gasping]
Oh, my God.

[laughing]
Just kidding.

[Phil] Fuck you.

- Oh, my...
- Your face was awesome.

Don't tell me this place
creeps you out.

I mean, a little.

How long have you
worked on this show?

We normally do, like, UFOs
or alligators in the sewer

or, like, ghosts,
things that aren't real,

and people died here.

That alligator stuff is real.

[sighs]

I... I keep hearing things.

Like what?

- Come on, tell me.
- I don't know.

Like what?

It's like shuffling.

Like feet shuffling.

Did it sound like itty bitty
little gator feet?

[laughing]

Fuck me. I'm an idiot. Ugh.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Please don't leave me in this
creepy room all by myself.

It's just weird, okay?

I guess it's not that strange.

[Phil] What,
the little baby alligator?

[chuckles] No.

No, it just reminds me of

something that happened
where I grew up.

Why do I feel like I'm about to
hear the rest of this story?

There was this family that
left for church one morning.

While they were gone,

this guy with an axe
climbed into their attic.

He waited for them
to all go to sleep.

He just waited and then
when they did go to sleep,

he came downstairs and he
murdered them one by one.

Okay, yeah, so it's like
a feel good story.

But that's not the part
that creeps me out.

Oh, why, 'cause that...
that part was just fine?

The part that creeps me out

was that he just lived there
for days with them

before anybody came to
look for them.

I would have been so fine if
you just left that part out.

And when they did come
to look for them,

they found a fire
still burning.

So I'm assuming
they never found the killer?

I don't know.

Although I did hear that he
likes to hide behind small doors.

Oh, get outta here.

[♪]

I feel like we might have
covered that, actually.

Um, it was the
Villisca Axe Murders?

- Yeah.
- Right, yeah.

Is that why you're here,
you like all the creepy shit?

Sure. Let's say that.

No, I mean, why are you
actually here?

Do I need a reason?

I feel like everybody here
is overqualified.

So, why are you here?

I'm just complacent.

The show keeps runnin',
I keep cashing the checks.

There's no shortage of mysteries
in the world.

It's also a good place to meet
clients for your side gig.

Ah, yes.

- You wanted some weed.
- Yes, thank God.

Also, if anybody asks,
you got this from Kevin.

- Totally.
- Cool.

You know my dad went to jail
for selling this stuff.

- No shit.
- It wasn't my fault.

Sorry about your dad.

What, uh... What prison?
We actually shot at a few.

Allendale.

It's in South Carolina.

Do you get to visit him?

Uh, not recently.

He does watch the show,
though.

All right, I'm gonna go find
somewhere to smoke this.

Oh, uh, don't go too far
from the house.

Uh, I'm sure that squirrel's
gonna attract some coyotes.

[sighs]

First big role?

No, I've done background in
a couple commercials.

Oh. That's cool.

Am I that obviously
inexperienced or...

No, this is the biggest thing
that I've booked myself.

It's why I asked.

- Wait. Really?
- Relax.

No, no, no, like,
you're good, I mean it.

Like, really good.

Thank you.

You know I'm not
that good of an actor.

Yeah. You're fucking horrible.

[scoffs]

[laughs]

Are you ready outside?

- [actor] Let's rock.
- [actress] Ready.

- Okay, can we roll on camera?
- Yeah, camera speed.

- Sound?
- Sound speeds.

And action.

[door creaks]

What time do the movers get here
in the morning?

Not 'til about noon.

Plenty of time to celebrate.

Hey, here's the...

Goddammit!

Fuckin' shit.

And cut on that.

- Uh...
- Camera's cutting.

What is going on with
the lights?

It's your location. You know,
most locations benefit from having...

- A generator, right, I know.
- Mm-hm.

Hey, what's going on
with Jonathan?

Oh, I... I think he's just
a little stressed.

He was really good in the
audition and rehearsal, though.

The lights probably
threw him off.

- Oh, right, yeah.
- [Jonathan] I'm ready.

You're ready? Okay.

Yeah, get some last looks
in there, thank you.

- Step up for me, sweetie.
- [Jane] Uh, Jonathan,

hey, I really love
what you're doing.

- I'm good. I'm calm.
- [Jane] Great work. Yeah.

- You're good. You got this.
- Yeah.

[Jane] Yeah. All right.
You feel good?

- Yeah.
- [Jane] Maybe do some breath work outside.

That... I always find
that helps.

- Okay.
- So, all right, he looks great.

- All right.
- [Jane] Very handsome.

- Looks good.
- All right, let's get back to one.

Okay. [sighs]

- [actress] You've got this.
- [Jonathan] I'm ready.

- [door closes]
- [Jane] Actors, are you ready?

- [actress] Ready.
- [Jonathan] Ready to roll.

- Camera?
- Camera speeds.

- Sound?
- [Phil] Wango tango.

And action!

What time do the movers get here
in the morning?

Not 'til about noon.

Plenty of time to celebrate.

And here's to new beginnings.

[Jane] And cut!

- Yeah.
- [Jonathan] How'd I do?

Yeah, that was great, it was
great, fucking great.

- I loved it, yeah.
- Camera cuts.

- Thank you.
- [Phil] Sound cuts.

Uh, really nice work,
you guys.

You look so pretty.

Uh, we're gonna do an insert of
the champagne.

I just don't... I don't trust him
with it so, yeah.

Great work, though.
We're gonna try one more.

Uh, but same energy. Great.

I loved it. Yeah.

So... back outside.

Thank you.

Alan, I'm serious.

I definitely
heard something outside.

Knock, knock.

- You're not supposed to be here.
- [Charlie] Yeah.

One false move,

and I'll blow your brains
all over the wallpaper.

Oh, God, Alan,
what should we do?

Travis, tie up the girl.

Over my dead body.

Bang. You just got shot
in the head.

- [Nick] And then you...
- Then I scream.

Hey, did Ernest give you any
tips on murdering people?

No.

But he did tell me how to
protect myself from Bigfoot.

There aren't enough trees
around here.

There's, like, several trees.

Not enough.

[insects chirping]

[Jane] So what do you think is
going on with the lights?

Well, not... the amperage
is just fine.

I don't know what happened in
the other room.

We just can't afford to keep
blowing takes like that.

Hey, also, that kid beefed
a line on that last one.

This is not
an audio conversation.

- Also, assistant gaffer.
- Right.

Like... Like I said,

stuff like this just happens
with old houses.

It's okay, guys.

Striking.

- Fuck!
- [Phil] Well, union break.

- I hate that carpet.
- Damn it.

What is the problem?

Where's the breaker box?

I think it's probably in
the basement.

Well, wouldn't that be
something that you

or the location
manager would know?

And we don't have
a location manager.

All right, you could lecture me
or you could go fix it.

Oh, see, Kevin fixes
everything once again.

- That's literally your job.
- [Kevin] Eh.

Kevin is the absolute worst.

[Phil] No, Gordon is
the absolute worst.

- He doesn't have to talk to me.
- Right.

He doesn't stop talking to me.

Oh, he is so obsessed
with you.

I cannot even handle it.

[chuckles]

If he tells me about three-point
lighting one more time,

I am going to lose my mind.

He's like a "woe is me"
kind of guy.

So, you two are gonna be here,

and then you two are gonna
come in from out there

and then hit that mark there.

Uh, when do I run off with
the money?

- Or are we not filming that?
- Yeah, we're not filming that.

- [Kevin] Hey, Jane.
- Yeah?

- Have you seen Hannah?
- Maybe you should worry about

whether or not
the lights are working.

Oh, you know what? That would be
important to do, wouldn't it?

Yeah, kind of, we're
makin' a movie here, so...

All right, well, clear out.
Striking.

- [switch clicks]
- Fuck!

- Motherfuck!
- Are they still on the same breaker?

[Kevin] Yeah,
I guess so.

Well, go fix it.

Well, what other actual option
do I have, Jane?

Just fucking fix it!

Sorry. Hey, guys,
you're doing great, um...

Maybe a couple deep breaths,
it helps.

Yeah, sure. Fuck.

[Kevin] Phil, Phil, Phil.
Excuse me. Assistant gaffer.

Can you do me a huge favor and
just go check in the laundry room?

Just see if the landlord
left anything plugged in?

- A/C unit. Anything.
- Oh, yeah.

Hey, Kevin, um,
will you go...

- Yeah, I'm gonna go.
- Yeah, yeah, go do that.

Just go.

Gimme two minutes.

Guys, you can take five.

There's some granola bars
if you're hungry.

Okay, okay, okay.

[knocking]

Oh...

[whirring]

Nope.

Ah, here we go.

[switch clicks]

- So are you casting anything else right now?
- So Goes To Jail is when

- he gets lightning powers
- Basically, the way that we cast the show

is that, uh, you just have to
look like the person

that we're trying to...

[exhaling]

[low rumbling]

[whirring]

[low rumbling]

- [rattling]
- [scoffs] Happy Halloween.

[electricity humming]

- Goes To Jail...
- Oh, look, the lights have come on.

[buzzing]

Why don't we get back into
positions, everybody,

so we're ready to roll
when they come in.

You're over there, yeah,
gentlemen, you'll start...

well, you'll start from outside
and then you come in.

Yeah. Uh,
cheat a little this way.

Uh, no, uh, not with
your body, just, uh...

No, that's still not...
just forward facing.

Yeah, there, uh...

uh, that'll do.

Hey, Phil.

Hey, did you find anything?

Yeah, just a jank ass
electrical cord

runnin' through
the wall in there.

- You found a what?
- Nothing strange about that, right?

Well, it's an old house, so...

Look, it...
it didn't look old, man.

I just...
I keep hearing things.

Hold on.

What do you mean,
you're hearing things?

Upstairs, like... like there's
something moving around up there.

Does this place even have
an upstairs, bro?

Yeah, I went earlier,
it's terrifying.

Bro, it's probably just some
raccoons in the attic or something.

I'm not hearing raccoons.
I'm tellin' you.

You pick up interference
on this thing all the time.

It's not interference.
Look,

I just want to get out of here
as soon as possible, okay?

Well, look, I really don't want
to be a dick about this,

but I really don't care
right now.

All right, let's just get the
shot and get the hell out of here.

All right.

We're good to go now.

What was the problem?

[Kevin] Phil?

[Phil] There's no problem.

Let's just get
the fucking shot.

[Jane] Uh, okay.
All right.

Hey, uh, should we have Hannah
in here for last look?

I think she's out smoking
the pot that Phil gave her.

Phil. What the hell?

Well, she said
she got it from you.

Okay, I don't really care what
Hannah got or from who,

I would just like to
roll on this, please.

So actors to one, please.

You ready? Guys,
you ready back there?

- [men] Ready.
- Okay, let's, uh, roll on camera.

- [Kevin] Camera speeds.
- [Jane] Sound?

- [Phil] Wango tango.
- [Jane] Ready?

- [Jane] Ready?
- Ready.

- [Jane] And...
- [door sliding]

[Jonathan] Hey,
we don't want any trou... ble.

- [gunshot]
- [screaming]

[Kevin] What the fuck!

Please. Please don't.
Please. Please don't.

[screams]

[screaming]

[grunting]

- What the fuck is going on?
- [Charlie] I don't know.

Some fucking crazy asshole
blocked the door.

- [grunting]
- [screaming]

[Jane] What the fuck
do you want?

Somebody get help!

- [grunting]
- [crying]

[♪]

Jesus Christ.

[♪]

[breathing heavily]

[groaning]

[slamming]

[Jane] What the fuck
just happened?

You guys,
what is going on?

Maybe he left something
in this closet.

[Hannah] We've gotta get to
the breaker box.

Oh, no, we gotta get
the hell outta here.

[Nick] I... I do think there's
some, um, weapons down here.

- Has to be.
- [Charlie] Maybe we can hack our way out.

[Hannah] There's at least
one shovel.

[Charlie]
Watch out for the nail.

Did you guys see that nail?

Okay.

What is going on?

[gagging]

Just try both of them.

[switch clicking]

[slamming]

[muffled screaming]

[grunting]

[Kevin screaming]

Oh, shit!

Oh, no. No.

[grunting]

[yelling]

- [grunting]
- [glass breaking]

[muffled grunting]

[Jane screaming]

Let me out of here!
Let me out of here!

What are you looking at?

These cans are
at least 15 years old.

What?

Why are there
so many of them?

[Jane screaming]

[Jane]
Let me out of here!

[Jane screaming]

Let me out of here!

[♪]

Oh, God!

Fuck!
What the fuck is this!

What the fuck!
[grunting]

- Goddammit!
- [metal rattling]

[grunting]
What the...

What the hell!

[muffled screaming]

You know, they never did find
the bank robbers.

[♪]

That's because they never left.

[♪]

[music playing in video]

Whoa, whoa, hey!
What...

[♪]

Beans? Beans!

[♪]

You should re-trace
your steps.

[♪]

What do you want?

[♪]

You should re-trace
your steps.

No.

[♪]

[indistinct dialog]

[♪]

Go ask the judge.
He knows all.

And judges all.

It's not what it looks like.

[♪]

Want some beans?

[♪]

You mean I can
get it wet?

[♪]

[Jane] Okay, outside,
are you ready?

[♪]

[Jane] And action!

What time do the movers
get here in the morning?

[Jonathan]
Not 'til noon.

Plenty of time to celebrate.

Here's to new beginnings.

[Jane] That's a cut.
Yeah, that was fucking great.

[Phil] Yo, Kev.

Kev. Hey.

- Ah, shit.
- You all right?

Uh, I feel terrible.

Where's Jane?

He took Jane.

Ooh, money.

Oh, gross. Oh!

Oh, it's all rotted through.

[Nick gagging]

[groaning]

Oh, hey, look, an axe.

[banging]

[groaning]

[panting]
We gotta go get her.

[banging continues]

Let's get out of here first,
okay?

Ant then... And then we'll
get help and then come back,

and then get Jane.

We ain't leavin' her up there.

- Fuck that motherfucker.
- He's gonna get us too, man.

Fuck him.

He went through there?

Yeah.

Well, so are we.

[grunting]

Ahh. Okay, come on.

Fuck.

You guys okay?

Oh, thank God.

Wh... Where's Jane?

[♪]

Help!

Somebody help me!

Where'd you get
that damn camera?

Beans!

It's not what it looks like.

[♪]

Beans.
Where's my beans?

[♪]

What are you doing in here?

What are you...
Get out!

[whistling]

[♪]

[grunting]

- That is deceptively heavy.
- [Nick] Yeah, and sticky.

All right.
Y'all go get help,

- and I'll...
- Fuck that!

- Yo, bro...
- I'm fuckin' goin' up there!

Bro! Charlie, wait!

Damn it!

I think I might know
another way up.

Come on, let's go.
Don't forget your shovel.

[stairs creaking]

Uh, there's these cans here.

And I think maybe he might have
another way up

because he keeps
all these cans here.

Okay, all right, well, let's
just find it then, come on.

[♪]

[grunting]

[clattering]

[grunting]

[punches landing]

[metal scraping]

[groaning]

Hey.

Hey, I think I found something.

[creaking]

[grunting]

[Kevin] Shit.
I don't want to go in there.

Grab your shovel.

Help!

[♪]

[rattling]

He's coming.

[♪]

Two friends now.

Two friends now forever!

What the fuck?

Nick. Nick.

Hurry up, come on, come on.

Uh, no...

[grunting]

[thudding]

- [crashing]
- [grunting]

What the...-

[grunting]

[panting]

[♪]

[Nick] Why are you doing this?
Please.

- Please...
- [grunting]

- I have a wife.
- [grunting]

[♪]

- [Kevin] Jane.
- Kevin, Kevin.

I'm so happy to see you.
Please untie me.

[♪]

We need to get the fuck
out of here.

He's not gonna be gone
for long.

No, no, no,
he's not coming up that way.

[screaming]

[Kevin] Ahh!

- Come on. Come on!
- [Jane screams]

[Kevin] Come on!

Oh, God.

He killed Charlie, Jane.

Oh, God! Charlie?

Fuck.

- We have to go through.
- No, no, no fucking way.

We're not jumping through
a dead body.

- Do you have any other ideas?
- What are you thinking?

- Fuck.
- Stand back.

That sounds like Jane.

Jane!

- Phil?
- Phil, Phil, is that you?

Jane, is that you?

Phil, we have to go through
Charlie to get down there.

- We... We've gotta help them.
- This is fucking crazy.

I did not sign up for this.
I just came to do a fucking make up job.

I do make up, I do not fucking
shove things into people's bodies.

- This is crazy!
- All right. All right.

Phil, Phil, it's not working.

We don't have much time.
Come on, we gotta hurry.

- Okay, okay...
- Hurry!

Just stand out of the way, okay?
Stand back down there.

- Fuck, oh, fuck!
- Sorry, buddy.

[grunting]

[Jane] Oh, my God!

- [grunting]
- Sorry, buddy!

- [grunting]
- [Jane] Oh, it's so gross!

Oh, my God!

- [grunting]
- Hurry!

[♪]

- [grunting]
- [clattering]

Go! Go! Go!

Charlie, buddy,
I'm sorry about this.

Die, you bitch!

[projector clicking]

Oh, you guys, thank God.
We gotta get outta here.

Come on.
[screams]

[Kevin] Son of a bitch!

- [grunting]
- Oh, shit! Ahh!

[Jane] Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.

- [grunting]
- Leave us alone!

- [grunting]
- [screaming]

[Phil] Fuck.

I think he wants you to
film something.

Phil, fucking do it!
Just do it!

[grunting]

- [grunting]
- [Kevin] Ahh!

- [Phil] What do you want?
- [Hannah] Please let us go.

Please let us go.

Please stop!

[Phil] Sick fuck!

[grunting]

[♪]

He wants us to film
a re-enactment.

Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay.

- [grunting]
- [sobbing]

Okay, okay.

[sobbing]

[screams]
What is wrong with you?

- [sobbing]
- [grunting]

Please stop.

- [grunting]
- Please stop.

- [grunting]
- No! No!

No.

- [screaming]
- [grunting]

- [screaming]
- [grunting]

[sobbing]

[screaming]

[grunting]

[♪]

[grunting]

[sobbing]
Oh, no.

No. No, we can't go again.
We can't, it's broken.

It's broken,
we can't do another. No!

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

- [screaming]
- [grunting]

[sobbing]

Hannah?

[sobbing]
I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

- Hannah.
- [grunting]

[sobbing] Stop.
What is wrong with you?

Please leave us alone.

- [grunting]
- No!

- No!
- [grunting]

Come on. Come on.
We gotta get up, get outta here.

Wango tango, motherfucker.

[clicking]

[grunting]

- Ahh!
- [screaming]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[gagging]

- [grunting]
- No. No, we can't.

We can't do another take.
Please!

[grunting]

[grunting]

- What are you doing?
- [grunting]

[grunting]

[panting]

[grunting]

[♪]

[sobbing]

[shuddering]

[groaning] Fuck.

[crickets chirping]

[♪]

The events which took place
on that fateful evening

remain as mysterious
as they are shocking.

And the reasons behind
his murderous actions

may never be fully understood.

There was always something
strange about that house.

Are you guys okay?

We drove straight to
the nearest hospital.

We called the police

but by the time they
got back to the house,

the killer was already gone.

I guess he just looked around

and decided that
he'd had enough.

I wonder if he watched
the show.

[Hannah 2] I can't believe
we made it.

[Phil 2] Gordon,
I'm so glad to see you.

- [Gordon 2] Oh, my God.
- [Phil 2] You're my best friend.

Ohh!

[♪]

As of the airing of
this episode,

this mysterious killer
remains at large,

and is considered...

extremely dangerous.

[♪]

[♪ rock]

We have an update
to this story.

The killer was revealed to be
a man named Vaughn Bentley

who was captured attempting to
board a plane

in Jacksonville, Florida.

And now,
is the Loch Ness Monster real,

and actually living in
Lake Michigan?

Next...

on Myths & Mysteries.

[♪ bagpipe]

The legend of the
Loch Ness Monster

has been told since 565 A.D.

but never on this side of
the Atlantic Ocean.

I know that
Loch Ness Monster's

out here in this lake
somewheres.

I seen him one night
off my pontoon boat.

[♪]

Lake Michigan is the second
largest of the great lakes.

It has a maximum depth of
923 feet,

but it has no direct connection
to the Atlantic Ocean.

So, how did this creature
get here?

I think some rich hosscat

brought him in on a submarine
from Scotland

and turned him loose.

[♪]

[Wilbur] In fact, records show
that a man did visit Lake Michigan

in the 1980s via submersible,

but it was merely
a scientific project

that involved establishing
the deepest point

of Lake Michigan.

Some people say he's just
a big old catfish.

But I don't care.

He's my friend,
and I'm gonna catch him.

[♪]

[man] You can cut it.
That was great.

Where'd you find this guy?

The guy that made love to
the Loch Ness Monster?

[♪]

[host]
Don't touch that dial.

It's time for some
County Trading Post.

We currently have
several callers waiting.

Caller, you're on the air.

[♪]

[man]
I got a 1990 Chevy van

with 86,000 miles.

I'm asking 1500 for it.

The number is 544-6287.

[host] Okay,
we got a 1990 Chevy van.

The number is 544-6287.

Again, the number is
544-6287.

Thank you.

Next, caller,
you're on the air.

- [man 2] Is it on?
- [host] Yes, it is.

[man 2]
Uh, we can't hear you.

[host] It should be.
You're on the air.

[man 2]
Well, we can't hear you.

[host]
It should be workin'.

[man 2] I should just throw
my radio out the window.

[host] Well, you're on the air.
How can I help you?

[man 2] Yeah,
I got a 1980 GMC Jimmy.

I'm askin' 800 for it.

I also got some onion boxes.

The number is 544-8410.

[host] Okay, got a GMC Jimmy
and some onion boxes.