The Real Macaw (1998) - full transcript
An ancient talking macaw named Mac becomes the saving grace for an elderly man threatened with a nursing home, when it is discovered that the talking bird knows the whereabouts of a buried treasure from its days with a pirate. His grandson decides to go off on the hunt only to discover that a resort now exists where the treasure is buried.
[music playing]
[bird squawks]
[bird squawks]
[squawks]
[singing in foreign language]
♪ Do you know where To find buried treasure? ♪
-[man] Wait. -♪ Do you know ♪
♪ Where to dig for gold? ♪
♪ You can search every land ♪
♪ Over snow, over sand ♪
♪ And get only burned and cold ♪
♪ But the world offers Thousands of treasures ♪
♪ If you open Your eyes to them ♪
♪ See the round yellow moon? ♪
-♪ That’s a pirate’s doubloon ♪ -Where?! Where?!
-Show me where. -♪ And the sun’s a fiery gem ♪
♪ And there’s A treasure in you ♪
[man] In there!
♪ A golden treasure in you ♪
[man] Here. Here.
♪ Unlock your heart ♪
♪ And let your love Shine through ♪
♪ Shine through ♪
♪ The treasure in you ♪
[stone scraping]
Push! Push!
[grunting]
[men mutter]
[laughs]
[men mutter]
[men gasping, murmuring]
♪ You can spend all your life ♪
-Gold! -♪ Hunting treasure ♪
[men cheer, laugh]
♪ Digging holes On an empty beach ♪
♪ Though you sail far away ♪
♪ You’ll discover one day ♪
♪ It was there Within your reach ♪
♪ And there’s A treasure in you ♪
-Yeah! -[laughs]
♪ A golden treasure in you ♪
-[squawks] -♪ Unlock your heart ♪
♪ And let your love Shine through ♪
♪ Shine through ♪
♪ The treasure in you ♪
[song ends]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[puckering]
[bird squawks]
[sputters]
[laughs]
Look at this, pet.
[chuckles]
We’re rich.
Do you hear me?
Do you understand?
We can have everything we ever dreamed of.
We’re rich.
[bird] Rich.
-Rich. -[stone clatters]
Rich.
[squawks]
[man] You like?
[squawks]
Yeah? You like?
A little present?
[puckers]
[squawks]
[bird] Present.
-[clamps] -[beak snaps]
-[yelps] -Present!
[squawks]
[glass shatters]
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Yes.
[bird] Present.
-[growls] -Present.
A pox on you, then, bird!
[screams]
[squawks]
[squawks]
[men yelling]
[squawks]
[grunting]
1, 2, 3...
[metal clinking]
[squawks]
...536, 537,
538, 539...
[groans]
540.
[kisses]
[grunting]
[panting]
[squawks]
[grunts]
[groans]
[ringing]
[students chatting]
-♪ Around here ♪ -I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
-Okay? Yeah. -♪ Nothing ever happens ♪
♪ We spend our days In a permanent haze ♪
♪ Lie back And watch the city crumble ♪
♪ Now and then, we’re gonna Take a little tumble ♪
♪ Gonna start a new craze ♪
♪ Wise up Love is such a precious thing ♪
♪ Gonna start a new craze ♪
♪ Who knows What tomorrow’s gonna bring? ♪
Grandpa?
♪ Oh, hey, hey ♪
-[Mac mutters] -Grandpa?!
-♪ I’ll hold on to you... ♪ -The correct answer...
-♪ When all else fails ♪ -...keep their dogs on a leash,
-it is, uh, far better... -...an historical vandalism.
-Reports are still unclear... -...at 3:45.
-[Mac] Fascinating. -Dr. Hagen.
-[Mac] 3:45. -How do you respond
to the allegations of artifact theft and historical vandalism?
No comment.
[squawks] No comment.
[squawks]
Hey, Mac, look what I got.
♪ I was bigger than a house ♪
♪ I was bigger than the house That my Daddy built... ♪
Want to go for a ride?
-♪ When I stood tall... ♪ -[winces]
-Clip your toenails. -[squawks]
There you go.
♪ You can smile ♪
-♪ You’re on Candid Camera ♪ -♪ Ohh ♪
-Ready? -[broadcasts continue]
[squawks]
Okay, let’s see what we got.
Oh. Lawyer!
[growls] Bill!
Oh! A friendly one! [kisses]
[laughs]
Lawyer.
Bill. Bills. Bills.
[train whistle blows]
-[squawks] -Hey.
-[laughs] -Do me a favor, will you?
Fill his bath with that water.
-It’s Perrier. -Yeah. He likes...
[both] The feel of the bubbles.
Grandpa, you should get out more often.
Are you crazy? There’s people out there.
[laughs]
Sure look good, little fella.
How ’bout a little food, huh?
-[murmuring] -[laughs]
[Grandpa] Good.
So how’s the latest patient?
Aw, he’s ready.
So when will you let him go?
Tonight’s the night. Look at him feed up there.
[both laugh]
Yeah, here’s another one for our collection.
Wish I could come.
Well, why wouldn’t you?
You haven’t missed one before.
[sighs] Dad wouldn’t let me tonight. I know it.
Oh, things aren’t going too well, huh?
Well, just remember he only wants the best for you.
He’s got a funny way of showing it.
Ah, grown-ups are funny sometimes.
I ought to know. I used to be one.
[both laugh]
Well, have fun tonight.
Aw, come on. Things’ll look up.
Chin up, my boy. [laughs]
To the wonder of life, eh? [laughs]
The wonder of life, Grandpa.
[insects chirping]
-Sorry I’m late. -It’s okay, darling.
Sit down. Your dinner’s getting cold.
Ah, it’s okay. I’m not that hungry.
Sit down. It’s your favorite.
I had an interesting phone call today
from your school principal.
Really?
He said your grades have dropped again this term.
Not as much as last term.
That’s hardly an improvement.
Well, it means I’m getting worse less quickly.
And that makes it all right, does it?
Look, as much as I’d love to stay and party with you guys,
-I’ve gotta go out. -Kathy,
finish your dinner, please.
Look, I’m not gonna sit here
and listen to another argument, okay?
See, the fact is, Sam, you don’t try hard enough.
Soon as the going gets a little tough,
you just give up. And I’m not just talking
about your schoolwork, everything.
-I did my best. -You’ve got no idea
what your best is. You’ve never stuck at anything
-long enough to find out. -I do! It’s just--
Just nothing!
Don’t you leave when I’m talking to you!
Why can’t you be like other dads?
The trouble is he wastes too much time at Dad’s.
Well, at least Pops spends time with him.
[scoffs] Doing what,
teaching him how to speak pigeon or something?
[laughs] Doesn’t matter.
He encourages him. He has fun with him.
Goes crazy with him.
Oh, come on, Rick. You’re not being fair.
Your father’s wonderful.
Yeah, he’s a little unique.
Aw, Beth.
Okay, so he’s eccentric, maybe.
Irresponsible, maybe.
Having fun is not being irresponsible.
Have you forgotten that?
It is if you’re $100,000 in debt.
What?
What?
I had a call from this lawyer.
That’s how much Dad owes this guy’s clients,
and he hasn’t got a cent to pay it back.
Yeah, that’s it.
Yeah. [laughs]
Aw, keep away from traffic this time.
-Come on. -[warbles]
Ah, ah. All right, come on.
Here we go. [laughs]
Here we go.
Hey, okay, my little friend.
You’re safe now.
Off you go, baby. That’s it.
-Freedom! Oh. -[wings flap]
-[chirps] -[laughs]
Um, are you okay up there?
Yeah, I’m ecstatic! Thanks for asking!
-[grunting] -[squawking]
[siren blares]
Hi, Pops.
[Mac squawks]
How is he? Is he all right?
It’s just a hairline fracture of the arm and a few scratches,
but I want to keep him here for a couple days.
Okay. Thank you.
-[Grandpa groans] -Okay, Dad,
you’re gonna be fine.
Of course I am.
Never felt better.
It’s totally outrageous.
So you just been jumping out of trees again, have you?
Eh. [laughs]
Um, Dad...
we need to think about your future.
My future? Yeah.
Well, I-I hope to go to college,
and then I want to backpack around Europe.
[chuckles] Um, I’m serious.
I mean, you can’t keep living the way you’re living now.
Well, why not? I’ve done it for 70 years.
Pops, listen.
You’ve gotten yourself into quite a bit of trouble.
What trouble?
This trouble.
Oh, that trouble.
Well...
don’t worry about it. It’s only about money.
Money you don’t have.
Yes, but look what I do have--
a world to fascinate me,
a family to infuriate me.
[grumbles] As I see it,
I am a very rich man.
Yeah, well, I hate to be a stickler for technicalities,
but these people are taking you to court.
What are you saying?
Wh-What I’m saying is
I’ve had to put your house on the market
to repay the money you owe them.
No.
What?
Well, you tell me. What else could I do?
But-- But that’s my home.
[Mac squawks]
I spent my whole life there.
So did you.
It’s not just the money, Pops.
We thought that you could do with some help now, too.
Help with what? My work?
Just the day-to-day stuff, to make it easier for you.
Rest-home-type help.
-Rest home?! -Don’t--
-I don’t want no rest! -"Rest home" sounds terrible.
There are plenty of nice places out of the city,
and you’re still totally independent.
There.
I’m sorry. No animals are allowed
in this hospital. Thank you.
[squawking] Help!
[patient] Hey!
[patient yelling] Hey!
-Okay. -[glass breaking]
-[orderlies jabbering] -Somebody get him!
-[squawking] -[glass breaking]
-Ow! -Got him! Got him!
Over here! Over here! Put him in!
-[squawking] -[thumping]
[panting]
-I believe this is yours. -[Rick] Mine?
No. It’s Grandpa’s.
Don’t worry, okay?
We’ll work something out.
[Mac cooing]
Well, let him rest. We’ll see you tomorrow.
I don’t want to go.
Okay. Let him stay.
Well, how’s he gonna get home?
We’ll wait.
Yeah.
[coos]
[coos]
They can’t make him leave.
I’ve gotta do something.
-I’ve gotta help him. -[squawks]
[Mac] We’ve got to help him.
How could Dad sell it? It’s just...
What did you just say?
Okay, read my beak.
I said, "We’ve got to help him," Sam.
-You did. -Si.
You just talked.
Oh, well done, Sam.
Oh, boy.
-Oh, boy. -Uh-oh.
He’s certainly--[squawks]
What’s going on?
The bird, it talks!
Please. Come on, mate.
It’s after midnight.
It talks. I’m not kidding.
Like a person. Say something.
-[coos] -Go on. Say something.
[wolf whistles]
[chuckles] Well, you and the incredible talking bird,
off to bed, mate. Come on.
-He talked, Dad. I swear. -Yeah. Bed!
[coos]
-Who else knows? -Quiet.
Only Grandpa, and that’s how it’s going to stay.
But you could be on TV and stuff.
When people saw you talk, you could make a fortune.
[grumbles] Not me.
My beak, she stays zipped.
-Why not? -Forget it.
They’d turn me into the freak with a beak.
I’d be like Mr. Ed with feathers.
It’d be a nightmare you could never imagine in your wildest--
-[Rick] Sam! -Get out of here.
We’ll talk in the morning when everyone’s gone.
It’s okay. We can talk now. I’ll be quiet.
No! Buzz off, or I’ll bite you.
-But I want to-- -[growling]
Okay, I’m going. I’m going.
Hallelujah.
[music playing]
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You even worry my pet ♪
-♪ You just talk ♪ -[telephone rings]
-Hello. Yeah, that’s fine. -♪ Talk too much ♪
-See you. -[reporter] The temperature’s up
to a groovy 22 degrees with an expected top of 28.
It’s a perfect day to get out in the sunshine
and soak up the rays to your favorite--
Can we have some peace and quiet?
[coos] Peace and quiet.
Ha ha. [imitates telephone ringing]
-That’ll be for me. -’Course it will.
Hello.
[Mac] Romper. Romper, food.
-Hello? -[barks]
-Good boy. -Is anyone there?
-[barking] -[chuckles]
Hello?
-Hello? -[imitates kettle whistling]
That’s weird.
-Who’s that? -No one.
[barking]
[Beth] Romper.
-[imitates barking] -[telephone rings]
-This is cold. -Oh? Why?
-Hello? Hello? -Kettle just boiled.
-[imitates barking] -Hello?
Romper!
[imitates telephone ringing]
What’s going on around here?
[imitates barking]
Uh-oh.
-It’s the bird. -[Kathy] What?
It’s all that bird.
[Mac whistles]
-Huh? -Right.
-That’s it. -[whistling]
-Okay, mate. -[squawks]
What are you doing?
Something we’re gonna have to do sooner or later,
-which is find him a new home. -What?
-Where? -I’ll ask at the pet store.
Rick, you cannot sell the bird.
No, of course not,
but I’ll find someone who wants him,
someone who’ll take care of him.
I don’t believe you.
Someone who’s out of their mind.
[Mac] Store. Pet store.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.
[squawks]
Do you sleep with that thing?
Where’s Mac?
Your father’s taken him down to the pet store.
-What?! -Darling, don’t get upset.
He’s just gonna see if he can find
someone who knows how to take care of him!
Sam!
[birds chirping]
I don’t understand.
He was squawking like crazy a minute ago.
Well, he’s had his last squawk now. [chuckles]
Pity. Magnificent bird.
The Ara ararauna,
most intelligent nonprimate in the animal kingdom.
Stop! Don’t sell that bird!
Be a bit hard to in his condition.
Sam, go home. I’ll take care of this.
[babbles]
-[squawks] -[gasps]
[squawks]
Quick. Head for the hills.
[squawks]
Did we just hear that?
[squawks] Hanging four.
-[squawks] -[grunts]
[squawks] Nice landing.
Sam, wait!
Hurry!
Hurry!
[squawks] On the bus.
On the bus.
Sam, please get off.
No. You’re selling Grandpa’s home.
You’re making him leave.
Get off the bus, and come home!
No! I’m not gonna let you do it! I’m gonna save him!
Please, just get off the bus,
and we’ll talk about it. Come on.
No! I hate being home!
I hate it!
[coos]
[music playing]
We’d better save Grandpa now, bird,
-’cause I’m in serious trouble. -Never call me bird again.
I’ll peck your lights out, comprendo, squirt?
I’ll sell everything,
my bike, my skateboard, everything.
[coos] Forget it. I mean,
that won’t even pay Grandpa’s gas bill.
So how can we do it, then?
With this little bauble right here.
-What’s that? -And a little nest egg.
Who’d want to buy that?
You would be surprised.
It’s just a crummy old ring.
And you’re just a dumb kid. I’m out of here.
-[coos] -Hey, where are you going?!
♪ Too many times, I’ve seen ♪
♪ The sun come up through Bloodshot eyes this week ♪
♪ No matter what I do ♪
♪ Since we broke up I find it hard to sleep... ♪
-So what’s up? -Going to the museum.
They appreciate history.
[squawks]
Wait!
♪ What is there left to do ♪
♪ But to drink And watch the view? ♪
-[laughs] -♪ I think that it ♪
♪ Might rain this afternoon ♪
-♪ Too many times ♪ -[babbles]
-♪ Too many times ♪
Oh, what kept you?
Okay, into the museum.
-♪ Too many times ♪ -[clears throat]
Ah, thank you.
[clears throat] First of all,
we gotta get this ring off my foot.
Whoa, careful. What are you doing?
Gently. Uh, you got some soap or something?
[Mac] Oh, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?
You’re a sick pussycat. That’s what you are.
[squawking]
Dr. Hagen’s busy right now.
Uh, it’s okay. I’ll wait.
-Okay. -[squawks]
I don’t like the way people are staring at me.
Look at ’em. I feel they all wanna stuff me
and put me on display.
[Mac] Oh. Oh. Oh.
-Sam, that’s him. -Dr. Hagen.
-That’s him. Don’t look. -You see this boy?
He won’t go.
Yes?
Um, I want to sell a ring.
Then may I suggest a jeweler?
No, I-I think it’s really old.
-What’d you say your name was? -Sam Girdis.
Where did you get this from, Sam?
Um...
someone gave it to my Grandpa.
[coos]
I think it’s more important than you realize.
It comes from a remote Amazonian temple,
a culture that, as it happens, I know a great deal about.
Does that mean you want to buy?
Well, uh...
it’d have to go to the board of trustees.
Unless of course you and I came to some personal arrangement.
-[squawks] -How much is it worth?
[chuckles]
How to put a value on history?
But I’d say at least $3,000.
-[squawks] -[laughs] Wow!
I tell you what.
Can you come back tomorrow?
Sure.
-Tomorrow, then. -[coos]
Oh, and, Sam...
it’s vital that we keep this between ourselves, hmm?
Yeah, okay.
[Mac] Eh, "Just a crappy old ring," huh?
[chuckles]
$3,000!
Yeah, so kiss my claw.
[hammering]
Uh-oh.
-Who’s that? -It looks like a thug.
No, he’s an estate agent.
-Same thing. -He’s the one selling the house.
Okay, okay. Let’s think.
[squawks] Oh, I know.
Go kill him.
[grumbles] Real estate agents.
Wait! Don’t sell it!
I can pay what Grandpa owes!
-And who are you? -My Grandpa lives here.
-[Mac] Attack! -Mac!
What the hell is that?!
Leave, pirate! [squawks]
You don’t have to sell his house.
I’ve got the money, a ton of it.
Go off. Off you go. I’m busy.
I’m serious. I’ve got $3,000.
Or I will have by tomorrow.
Ah, sorry, young fella.
You’ll need a lot more than that.
[squawks]
[sighs] They’re just gonna kick him out.
And turn me into a feather duster. [squawks]
I don’t believe it.
Grandpa’s never done anything bad to anybody.
Eh, can’t let it happen.
Face it.
We need a miracle.
Hmm. [squawks]
We just might have one.
What are you talking about?
I’m talking about treasure.
What do you mean, treasure?
Gold, diamonds, pieces of eight.
You know, real treasure.
-Where? -Buried.
Oh, it’s all coming back.
Oh, sure. Buried by pirates, right?
You got it.
You’re looking at a genuine ex-pirate’s parrot.
Come with me right here.
But pirates were last century.
I’m no spring chicken, remember?
I’m 149 years old.
You mean you really sailed with pirates?
Sailed with ’em all, Bluebeard, Yellowbeard,
Blackbeard, in fact, the whole Beard family.
[squawks] ♪ Blow, ye winds... ♪
And you’re talking about real pirate treasure?
♪ Haul away-- ♪ What?
Wait a minute.
How come Grandpa doesn’t know?
Hey, well, he knows. He just never cared as much.
You know what he’s like about money.
I must have told him a hundred times,
but would he listen to me? Huh? [squawks]
So where’s it buried?
Oh, under a tree marked with an X on an island.
-A tree with an X? -Yeah, on an island
in the Pacific. It’s not too far.
In the Pacific?!
Will you quit repeating everything I say?
I’m the parrot. [grumbles]
But Grandpa’s house is being sold in six days.
How do we get to this island and back by then?
How else? We fly.
[squawks] Fly.
Uh-huh, as in flapping fly?
Hello! As in airplane fly.
Big thing, wings, like birds, bigger.
And how do you expect us to pay for the tickets?
I think $3,000 ought to cover it.
Oh, remember that?
Yeah. [laughs]
[chuckles]
[Mac] No. No. No.
Oh. Eh! That’s it. That’s it.
There! Coral Island!
That’s it! [laughs]
-♪ Blow, ye winds... ♪ -Are you sure?
♪ Heave away ♪
Hey, I may be old, but I’m not senile.
[sighs] Look how far it is.
Yes, so get some sleep.
We set sail at first light.
Coral Island bound, me hearty.
[chuckles] It’ll be just like old times.
[humming a tune]
Hey, where’s mine?
Don’t worry. He’ll be back soon.
Believe me.
Don’t worry. I know where he’ll be.
Wow, he really has run away.
Oh, thanks, Kathy.
[squawks]
[imitating reveille bugle call]
Come on. Let’s get to the museum.
[imitating reveille bugle call]
Polly want a punch in the mouth?
[Beth] Sam!
Oh, quick. Get up.
It’s me, Sam!
[Mac] We can’t let ’em catch us.
Quick. This way.
Over to the balcony. Let’s go.
Let’s go. Let’s go. Oh, no, no, no, no.
I fly. You jump. One, two...
[squawks]
Sam!
Come on, Sam!
You brat.
[Rick] Sam.
[squawks]
Dr. Hagen!
Sam.
I’m so glad you came back.
Are you going to buy the ring?
[bells pealing]
Well, um, I’ve decided to offer you $3,000.
-Ah. Wow. -Is it a deal?
Uh, you bet.
[Mac whistles]
Would you buy other stuff, too?
-I mean, like a lot of it. -[Mac grunts]
Ow.
You have more?
[Mac groans]
Sam, do you have any more?
Uh, no. I just made it up.
-I gotta go. -No, no. Please stay.
Sam!
[Mac cooing]
[squawks]
Do you know of any other artifacts, Sam?
[Mac cooing]
-Good morning, Dr. Hagen. -[grunts]
[squawks]
[Sam] That guy’s a psycho.
[Mac] And you’re an idiot.
Why don’t you just tell him where the treasure’s buried
so he can find it himself?
He doesn’t know anything.
He knows you know.
Mucho stúpido.
Okay, so I made a mistake.
What are you gonna do, peck me to death?
Ah, don’t tempt me.
Quick. Act like a parrot. Everybody’s watching.
Oh, please give me strength.
[squawks] Polly want a cracker.
[squawks] Polly want a stupid cracker.
-How is he? -How am I?
I’m completely and utterly insane.
-Dad, do you know where Sam is? -No. Why?
He didn’t come home last night. Do you know where he is?
I’ve no idea.
And if I did, why would you believe a demented old man?
Pops, please.
He ran off saying he was gonna try and save you.
Now please think, Dad. Is there anything he might do,
anything that-- oh, that might possibly help you.
Anything.
[siren passing]
-What? -What?
Was Mac with him?
Well, yeah.
Oh, dear.
-Oh, no. -What?
-[Kathy] What? -What is it?
Let me out. I gotta get out.
What now?
Dial information, 4-1-1.
No, no. Give me the phone.
What are you doing?
Qantas Airways, please.
Ticket counter.
[typing]
Enjoy your vacation.
Next.
Uh, I have to pick up a ticket to Coral Island, please.
Coral Island. Half your luck.
Um, my father booked the ticket for me.
It’s Sam Girdis.
Is it just you traveling?
And my parrot.
Um, I’m afraid the parrot will have to go in cargo.
-[squawking] -That’s okay.
[typing]
[squawks] "I’m afraid the parrot will have to go in cargo."
What’s she think I am, a set of golf clubs or something?
-Shut up, will you? -Si.
I’ve got a plan.
Aw, well, it better be good,
because I want cabin service. [squawks]
In-flight movies, you understand.
Free drinks, seat belts, duty free, bad food,
magazines, pillows...
[jet engines roaring]
[Mac] This is a disgrace.
I look like a pimp.
This is Ronald.
Say hello to the nice man, Ronald.
[high voice] Hello, nice man.
[flight attendant] Good morning.
Would you like a drink?
Rum, straight up, no ice.
[laughs] How cute.
Thanks. You ain’t so bad yourself.
[Sam] No drink, please.
Here’s some peanuts.
[Mac] Oh, peanuts. Don’t mind if I do.
Oh! Why don’t-- No, they’re for me.
No. [stammering] Give me.
Let go of my nuts, kid. Oh!
Uh-oh.
Is this puppet act really necessary?
What’s wrong with Mr. Hairy Lip?
You mind your tongue, young man.
I’m sorry.
I’m not. [laughs]
You’re the most offensive little brat I’ve ever met.
What are you trying to do? You’ll get us caught.
Oh, sorry. Didn’t let the rabbit get a word in, did I?
-[chuckles] -[sighs]
No need to take it out on the rabbit.
[chuckles]
Now, Dad, you have to tell us.
You’ll never believe me.
We will, Pops. Just tell us.
[sighs]
I think Sam has gone to a place
called Coral Island in the South Pacific.
Uh-huh.
And what makes you say that?
If I tell you something else,
will you all swear never to utter a word to anybody?
-Yeah. -[grunts]
There’s a treasure buried there.
I think Sam and Mac must have gone after it.
[Kathy stifles laughter]
Is everything all right?
[overlapping chatter]
Guys! Guys, here!
[Mac] Ai yi yi.
What happened to this place?
Taxi! Taxi, sir! Taxi!
I’ll take you anywhere.
-Taxi! -I bet you would.
Welcome to Coral Island.
Welcome.
-Where’s the tree? -On top of a hill.
-Which hill? -Aw, give me a break.
It’s been 140 years.
Ready to go, sir?
We’ve gotta tell him something.
Oh, drive to the, uh, beach.
If they still got one.
-Where to, sir? -Can we go to the beach, please?
Anywhere you like, sir.
[Sam] On the east side.
-Thanks. -Thank you, sir.
Call me anytime you want a taxi, anytime, anytime.
Yeah.
[squawks]
-See ya. -Big bucks.
That’s what he said.
And you’re supposed to say,
"That’s outrageous," and then offer him nothing.
[squawks] Wise up, kid.
It’s a jungle out there.
Okay, where do we go?
Uh, I can’t remember.
-What? -Quick. Look out.
Parrot groupies.
Oh, what a cute bird.
Hey, little birdie.
-Hey, little Polly. -[coos]
[music playing]
[seabirds calling]
[squawks]
-[grumbles] -Ow!
-Oh, are you all right? -Nasty little bird.
No touching the merchandise.
[scoffs] What’d you do that for?
Keep your mind on your job, squirt. [squawks]
I just remembered which hill.
It’s 540 paces due west from just over there.
540 paces due west. Okay.
Well, which way’s west?
We’re facing west. Straight ahead, huh?
[sighs]
-One, two-- -No, no.
Bigger step. Bigger steps, like a pirate.
-Two, three... -Never lose count.
-160... -Hippopotamus.
-161... -Hippopotamus.
-162-- -[speaking native language]
-[speaking native language] -Buenos días.
-[speaking native language] -[motorbike passing]
-[dog barking] -163.
[sighs] 163...
Hippopotamus.
-166... -Hippopotamus.
-167... -Hippopotamus.
-168, 169... -Hippopotamus.
-[rider] Hey! Hey! -170...
-Hey! -[squawks]
What are you trying to do, bird, get me killed?
Just relax, squirt. Keep counting.
You are so easily distracted. [squawks]
[girl laughs]
-171... -Hippopotamus.
-172... -And he missed you by miles.
-173... -Hippopotamus.
-376... -Hippopotamus.
-377... -Hippopotamus.
-378... -Hippopotamus.
-379... -Hippopotamus.
Shut up! Will you stop saying, "Hippopotamus"?!
Okay, okay. You only had to ask. [squawks]
380...
Aardvark.
[groans]
381.
-381... -Gnu.
-382... -Kangaroo.
-383-- -Iguana.
-Stop it! -[squawks]
-384... -Giraffe.
-521... -Water buffalo.
-522... -Lesser kudu.
-523... -Okapi.
-524... -Caribou.
-525... -Hippopotamus.
-526... -Wall.
Five hundred and twe--
What now?
Well, we go over it.
Oh, that’s easy for me to say, isn’t it?
All right, let’s go round to the other side.
Remember those trees.
Oh, we’re getting warm, squirt. I can feel it in my feathers.
Few more paces, and the tree of our dreams will be here...
aha, somewhere.
-Fine. -Or...
Except now, instead of a tree,
there’s a dirty, great-big hotel here.
Oh, well, I didn’t know.
Why did we even come here, anyway?
This was so stupid.
But it wasn’t like this the last time I was here.
[squawks] Wait. Wait.
Do you hear that on the other side of the wall?
Birds. So what?
[birds warbling]
Oh, why do I bother?
If there’s birds over there,
there might be trees over there, huh?
Huh, Einstein?
Okay. I’ll go have a look.
You wait by the entrance.
[squawks] Ay, caramba.
[birds chirping]
[squawks]
Okay, the good news is there are lots more trees.
-Fantastic. -The bad news is I can’t tell
-which one of them is the one. -Right.
It’s going to be a bigger job than I thought.
[squawks] Come on. We’re checking in.
-What?! -Come on.
-[music playing] -[squawks]
I don’t think we should be in here.
Relax. Just think of it as a cheap motel...
made of marble.
[soft chatter]
[typing]
[squawks]
We’d like a room, please.
[squawks]
[typing]
I-I’ve got money.
I’m sorry. You must be accompanied by an adult.
[squawks]
[hisses] Shoo!
Shoo! Shoo! [grunts]
-[hisses] -[squawks]
And we don’t allow pets.
Oh, it’s okay.
He’s no trouble.
No room. No pets.
Do I make myself clear?
[squawks] Check.
[squawks]
[typing]
[Sam] I saw some trees through the side doors.
[squawks] Now we just gotta hope there’s one marked with an X.
But how do we get in?
That snobby guy will see us for sure.
[squawks] Oh, he’s a pushover.
He doesn’t know who he’s up against. [squawks]
[laughs]
-Excuse me. -Yes.
I’d like a room, please.
Certainly, Dr. Hagen.
-[doo-wop music playing] -[singers vocalizing]
[squawks]
[squawks]
♪ Now they up and call me Speedo ♪
♪ But my real name is Mr. Earl... ♪
-Security. -[squawks]
Keep your head up. I’m slipping.
[Sam] I can’t help it.
♪ My real name is Mr. Earl... ♪
See that kid there?
It’s this dress.
There’s nothing wrong with the dress.
-It’s fabulous. -♪ Meetin’ brand-new fellas ♪
♪ And taking Other folks’ girls ♪
♪ Well, now they up And call me Speedo ♪
♪ ’Cause I don’t believe In wastin’ time ♪
Worked like a dream.
Give me a boost, huh? I’ll check the trees.
Up, up, and away!
[flashlight tapping]
Ah, whoa. What a slippery bunch of coconuts.
Eh, hey, who’s this?
Huh? Is he for real?
Bozo the Clown come to life.
[music stops]
Bull’s-eye.
[music and vocalizing resume]
[birds chirping]
[both grunt]
I got you now, you little twerp.
Situation is under control.
The situation is under control.
[squawking]
If I find you within an inch--
inch of this hotel again, your parents will be
picking you up at the police station.
-¿Comprende? -Hey, bozo,
blow it out your-- [squawks]
Did you see an X?
No, nothing.
Did you check them all?
Every one, but it might have faded over the years.
So what are we meant to do, dig under ’em all?
Well, yes. Uh...
[chuckles]
He might have had a parrot with him.
Well, no, I don’t think that’s so strange.
-You know, that chubby kid. -No, no, no, no.
He’s not friends with him anymore.
Missing persons? It’s about my son.
Well, they transferred me to you. I di--
[Grandpa] Hey, Rick!
Yeah. Listen, they’re only gonna transfer me back again.
Look, Rick! Rick!
It’s the airline.
You might like to hear what they have to say.
Yes.
-[grunts] -Dad.
What?
He is in the South Pacific.
-[birds chirping] -[animals warbling]
What are those noises?
Aw, don’t worry. It’s only night trash.
They just think they’re tough.
-Mac... -What?
aren’t you scared?
[squawks] The only thing I’m scared of
is being too scared to do what we have to do, right?
[squawks] Right?
[grunts]
[grunting]
Mac. Mac, help.
Shh. Humans.
[speaking native language]
[laughs]
-[squawks] -[wings flap]
Okay. I’ll get this thing off.
[grunting]
Tomorrow morning?!
I’m sorry, Mr. Girdis. It’s the first flight.
-You’re not going anywhere. -What?!
Excuse me. Can we discuss this like grown-ups?
I can’t talk to him anymore.
I might as well talk to the wall.
What about another airline?
We’re the only airline that goes to Coral Island.
But there are three tickets still available.
Do you want them?
-We’ll take one. -Two.
-Three! -And that’s final!
Um, seated together...
or separate? [chuckles]
[grunting]
Oh, well, come on. Put some backbone into it.
[sighs] This is hopeless. It’ll take years.
You know, the guy who buried this treasure
used his bare hands.
Will you shut up? I’m doing all the work.
Just making conversation.
Uh-oh. Hit the deck.
It’s the hotel bozo.
He’s coming this way.
Get on.
[Mac] Back to the wall.
But quietly.
You’re wearing sneakers, so sneak.
Slow down. [squawks]
See? We lost him.
Now--Whoa. Wait.
No, no. Wait. Hide. Wait.
Hide. Thank you.
-Oh, fine. -[gasps]
-Oh, boy. -It’s him.
It’s the museum weirdo.
Oh, we’re dead.
[Mac] Hold it. Look.
-Where? -Behind you.
Great. It’s a wall.
It’s a wall with a hole.
Get the cover off.
[grunting]
[metal clatters]
Uh-oh.
It didn’t work.
He saw us. Come on.
Ah, excellent.
We can stay here ’til the heat dies down
and go back and dig again. Come on. This way.
No, no. This way.
Oh, smell that food.
Table 24. Service!
[Sam] I gotta eat.
I can’t keep digging unless I eat.
I am peckish myself.
Do you think you can squeeze through
-and get something? -What am I, room service?
Okay. You stay here.
I’ll give it a shot.
-[metal bangs] -Quietly.
[Mac grunts]
[squawks]
Hey, big mistake.
-[doo-wop music playing] -[singer vocalizing]
[coos]
[squawks]
[squawking]
Oh, caviar.
How disgusting.
[squawks]
Security!
A fire! A fire! Quick!
-Why didn’t you say something? -There!
[singers vocalize]
Situation under control.
[dishes breaking]
[squawking]
[singer vocalizing]
Something about that bird just isn’t right.
[squawks] Come on. Get around the corner.
Hurry. Move it. Move it. Move it.
Ah, okay, here we go. Cracker and caviar.
-It’s beluga. -Is this all you got?
It was too risky. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.
-[sighs] -Just eat up, and quick.
-Go. Go. Further along. -Why?
Oh, I don’t want to debate this. Just go.
Go, go, go.
Ugh!
Oh, what?
[Mac] Uh, be careful. I think there’s a trapdoor...
[grunts]
[groans]
...up ahead. [chuckles]
Go on. Take a break. You deserve it.
There’s another trapdoor.
Oh, the other side.
Up here?
Si. Hurry.
Oh, full speed ahead.
[outside voice echoes]
[jazz playing]
[music stops]
[Mac] Hmm.
[audience murmuring]
Uh-oh.
[whispering] Do something.
Like what?
-[murmuring continues] -[laughter]
Wait a minute.
[Mac] Oh, no. Don’t do that.
-[audience gasping] -This is humiliating.
Uh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
[whispering] Talk.
U-Um, good evening, Homo erecti.
I’d like to introduce you to my partner, Sam Girdis,
ventriloquist extraordinaire.
He’s great with people.
[chuckles] That’s it.
And I’m the real macaw.
You like my outfit?
I grew it myself. [squawks]
[laughter]
[whispering] That’s great. Keep going.
Relax. I’m a parrot. I’ll wing it.
[squawks] People always ask me,
"Mac, what’s it like to be a bird?"
Well, it’s no bed of roses, no, sirree.
You gotta sleep standing up. [squawks]
[laughter]
Anyway, hey, this guy didn’t think I was funny.
Of course he doesn’t. He’s got two girlfriends.
-He’s too tired to laugh. -[laughter]
Ah, but being a bird has its upside.
We get to make fun of you idiots.
-Mac. -All we have to do
is say, "Hello, Polly," to one of you humans,
and you say it back to us for an hour.
You’re complete morons.
-[Mac chuckles] -[applause]
-What are you doing? -Performing here.
Be nice. You’ll get us into trouble.
Oh, no. They love it. Watch.
In fact, you’re a bunch of brainless lemmings.
-What are you? -[all] Brainless lemmings.
Oh, let’s hear that again.
What are you?
[audience laughing]
Yes.
[cheering]
[Mac] Thank you. Thank you. You’ve been too kind.
You’ve been a great audience. I love you.
Next stop, Vegas. Hey!
Hey, not yet. I’m on a roll.
My public-- Thank you.
My public needs me. Thank you.
Thank you.
Got you, you little twerp.
-Thank you, Lou. -Mr. St. John.
I’ll take care of our guest.
Ah, he’s no guest, sir.
Ah. Perhaps if I could offer him a complimentary room,
he’d be persuaded.
Nigel St. John, general manager, the Grand.
Sam Girdis, and this is Mac.
[squawks] The cabaret legend.
[laughs] I’d be delighted
if you and, uh, Mac would do us the honor
of performing again at dinner tomorrow night.
[gasps] Yeah, thanks.
[Mac chuckles] Struck out, bozo.
[laughs]
[Mac] Oh! Life, I love it!
[squawks] Rum cake.
I really love it. [laughs]
Did you hear the audience laugh? You were fantastic.
Ah, you were pretty good yourself, squirt. [squawks]
It looked hairy there for a while,
but you hung in when things go tough.
for once in your life, huh, huh?
Wish I could do it all the time.
That’s why my Dad’s mad at me.
Well, you can.
Ah, this being strong,
oh, hey, it’s all in the head.
I’m still scared now, though.
What about?
[sighs] That psycho, he followed us here.
Ah, forget about him.
We’ll find the treasure, and be home
while he’s still scratching his big, ugly head. [chuckles]
Well, how do we dig under all those trees?
Simple, one by one.
[laughs]
Oh, man, this rum cake’s got a kick like a mule.
[belches]
That’ll do it.
[speaking native language]
[men speaking native language]
♪ Blow, ye winds And fill those sails ♪
♪ Heave away far away ♪
♪ I’ll drink ’Til my liver fails ♪
♪ Bound for South Australia ♪
[gurgles]
Mac.
Are birds like people?
Eh, like people?
[sputters] Are you kidding?
No, I mean, like do you have a family and friends and stuff?
Yeah, we do.
Well, I did.
[hiccups] Ohh.
And did your parents give you a hard time?
Oh, yeah, sure.
But when I was taken away,
I realized something.
What?
I missed them.
Did you miss the forest, too?
Not at first.
Uh, but the funny thing is,
the older I get, the more I do.
I miss home.
That doesn’t sound like you.
I told Dad I hated it.
Oh. Well, do you?
I didn’t used to.
Dad was fun. We did everything together.
Oh. Well, what happened?
I don’t know.
Just stopped.
Dad got really serious.
Nothing to do with you, I suppose.
W-Well, maybe a bit.
Hmm?
I just want him to like me again.
Believe me, if you come home with a million bucks,
he’s going to like you.
-And if I don’t? -Oh, flaps down.
Throttle back. Chocks away!
Oh, boy. Never drink and fly.
Did I mention that?
[groans] So are you having some of this, or what?
[warbles]
[Mac grumbling]
-Mac! -Whoa. Not so loud.
Why didn’t you wake me up?
[Mac groaning]
Ugh. I got a mouth like the bottom of a birdcage.
[gags] Disgusting.
-[coughs] -[elevator dings]
We’ll start with the trees at the back,
where no one can see.
Good morning, Mr. Girdis.
Your complimentary breakfast is being served in the restaurant.
Ah. Thanks.
[Mac] Breakfast?
Get security to the gardens. Now!
Hear that? Follow them.
[Mac] Ah, look at all those holes.
Yes, sir.
Someone’s dug under every tree.
It was him, Hagen.
[Mac] Oh, you know what this means?
Either he found the treasure, or it’s not here.
-Oh, after all that time. -So that’s it.
-It’s all over. -I can’t believe it.
[squawks] Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
-[gasps] -Sam.
What an extraordinary surprise.
-[groans] -Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Sam.
Let me go, or I’ll call security.
Well, then I’d have to tell them
that you’re a runaway who isn’t here with his parents.
I think it best if you cooperate.
Where is it?
I don’t know.
You gotta believe me.
[squawks]
Please, I just want to go home.
Home. [squawks] Home.
Home is a long way away.
Sam, if you don’t tell me what I wish to hear,
things could get very upsetting for you.
May I take your order?
Just coffee.
[squawks]
And for that creature and yourself?
-Uh, nothing. -[squawks]
-[squawks] -You better tell the truth, Sam,
for your own sake.
[squawks]
I don’t know.
[squawking]
It was there. It was there all the time.
-How do we get down to it? -Ah, we dig.
We can’t dig through the floor
in the middle of a bunch of snooty people eating.
We don’t dig down. We dig up.
[sighs]
Okay. Hold on tight.
[squawking]
[humming a tune]
[scoffs]
-[squawks] -Shh.
[lock rattles]
[computer beeping]
Stand guard. I’ve got an idea.
Oh, rock and roll.
Ah, looks like a hotel cockpit.
Oh.
[sputters]
[alarm blaring]
Hey, cut it out!
I didn’t do anything!
[bell ringing]
[computer powers down]
Remain calm. Remain calm.
-Calm. -What’s happening?
It’s that little weasel. I know it.
-[alarm blaring] -You’re on the switches.
Oops. Sorry.
[alarm stops]
Sam, I think we better get out of here.
Hey, Mac!
[squawks]
-I think we’re in luck. -[squawks]
It’s not a treasure map, but it’s close enough.
Ooh, where’s the reference. Can you see the restaurant?
Um, it’s here, I think.
[Mac] Okay. There’s a corridor leading,
-uh, nowhere in particular. -Can we get into it?
Uh, no. Perfect.
There’s a manhole cover right outside.
[Mac] Ah, there it is.
Ah, okay. After you.
Ah. Oh, and we’re--
[gasps] First step in.
Ah, that’s the one. Okay.
When does it go under the restaurant?
Ah, just up ahead, I think.
Think it’s safe?
Oh, well, hang in there.
I’ll check it out.
[squawks] Too easy!
So far, so good.
Oh. Come on down.
[yelps]
[screams]
Touchdown!
-[gasps] -This boy’s hot.
I ought to break your neck.
No. [squawks] You ought to thank me.
We’re right under the tree.
Go. Start digging, partner.
[laughs]
How could they sell a plane ticket to a boy?
He hasn’t even turned 16 yet.
Eh, he say something?
Please don’t start, either of you.
If you hadn’t planted this ridiculous idea of treasure
in his head, none of this would have happened.
[chuckles] Listen to him.
Still blaming everybody but himself.
Look, Sam and I have our little tiffs,
like any father, son, but that’s not the issue.
Oh, is that it, huh?
So what makes a child feel so unhappy
that he runs hundreds of miles away from home
without telling his parents?
Is it because he’s just unhappy after a little family tiff?
Is that it? Is that how you see it?
Well, call me crazy, as you do, but I think you’re wrong.
Ah, again, I’m wrong.
He’s right, Rick.
And what makes him feel so unhappy?
Because somewhere along the way,
his father lost his sense of joy,
and life without joy isn’t life for anyone,
especially a child.
Flight 26 to Coral Island is now boarding.
Would all passengers please get to lounge number four.
[Beth] Are you coming?
[squawks] Okay, get into it, squirt.
Victory is almost ours.
♪ Blow, ye winds And fill those sails ♪
♪ Heave away far away ♪ Oh!
Oh! Careful! Careful!
Oh, we’re gonna go down
as one of the great teams of all time,
right up with Batman and Robin,
oh, and Beavis and Butt-head.
Oh, yeah, they’re gonna be talking about this for--
Oh, careful. Watch it! For years to come!
We’re gonna have to pay people money
to stop from talking about this.
[stone grinds]
Oh, we’re almost there, Sam.
You know, not only are we gonna save Grandpa’s house,
but we’re gonna have enough money left over
to open a five-star bird hospital
with teeny, tiny Jacuzzis and feather enhancement
and free beak-jobs for the first three customers.
-Mac. -What?
-I think I’ve found it. -Where?
Show me. Show me. Show me. Show me. Show me. Show me.
Look. It’s-- it’s...
[Mac] It’s a tree root.
[sighs] Oh, well.
At least we’re under the tree, huh?
[Mac] Ah, it’s gotta be here.
Oh, imagine if the developer of the place found it.
-[grunts] -Aw, it’d kill me,
priceless artifacts going to a guy in white shoes.
-This is hopeless. -Well, keep going.
-What are you-- -There’s no point.
It’s not here.
Oh, so you’re just gonna give up?
The treasure’s gone.
There’s also a weirdo after us,
and we’re a million miles from home.
Face it. We’re stuffed.
[growls] Don’t say, "Stuffed."
I hate that word.
I’ve been digging all day.
If I dig any more, the tree’ll fall over.
[Mac groans]
You know, your Dad is right about you.
You don’t have what it takes.
You take that back.
No. You’re a fair-weather sailor, Sam.
As soon as things get tough, you give up.
Dig yourself, then!
I’m going.
[groans]
Mac.
Mac?
Uh, e-excuse me.
Do you speak English?
[telephone rings]
Uh, we’re looking for our son, Sam Girdis.
Sam Gir--
Girdis. G-I-R-D-I-S.
He’s 15 years old.
-And he could be with a parrot. -[telephone rings]
-[speaking native language] -Hello, poli--
[groans]
Has anyone seen him?
-No. -No.
All right, thank you.
[conversing in native language]
Yes, I’d like a search run on a young kid,
Sam Girdis, G-I-R-D-I-S.
He’s with a parrot. [gasps]
It’s meant to be 540 paces up that hill.
You told Sam all this?
One, two, three...
This is unbelievable.
-Come on. -four, five...
Thank you.
[chuckles] I knew it.
Okay, you little punk.
You’re nailed.
[grunting]
[yelps]
Mac?
Hello, Sam.
[gasping]
[gasps]
Don’t try to run, Sam!
[jazz playing]
[audience cheering]
Where’s the bird?
I don’t know.
[Mac squawks]
Party on, dude!
Ah, hey, yeah!
The Mac is back.
Okay, morons, are we ready for another animal act?
[squawks]
146, 147, 148...
-You okay? -149...
Yeah, it’s just something in my shoe.
-Okay. -[gasps]
Ohh. Come on, honey.
-[cheering] -[squawks]
Ah, my, aren’t we letting our hair down tonight?
-You go and get the others. -Mac.
So, speaking of hair,
I just had the most irresistible nesting urge.
-You... -[squawking]
-[Velcro rips] -[yelps]
Come back here!
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
[squawks] That’s all we have time for, folks.
You been a great bunch of morons,
and I mean that in a good way.
[squawks] Next stop, Vegas.
I want you to get that bird and tear it limb from limb,
get the kid and wring his neck,
and block all exits!
Go!
We’re trapped. They’re blocking the exits.
[squawks] Then we’ll have to unblock them.
How?
Don’t freak. Leave it to the beak.
[coos] Open the door, please.
Thank you.
Attention, everybody. Attention, everybody.
Leave the hotel immediately.
Please don’t panic,
-but the hotel is on fire. -[bell ringing]
I repeat-- Everybody, remain calm.
-[Lou] There is no fire! -[crowd yelling]
Th-There is no fire!
Go back to your rooms! Everything is under control!
There is no fire!
Help! [yells]
[worker] Get back the other way!
Hey, Mac, over here!
[crowd yelling]
[squawks]
Quick, let’s make a break.
There is--
[squawks] Abort!
Abort!
There’s one exit we haven’t tried.
[worker] Get back the other way!
[groans]
...34, 35, 36,
-37... -Hey, whoa!
38, 39, 540!
Get to the side. Great. Quick, quick, quick.
What the...
Ah, the little ferret’s gone under.
[squawks] I am not jumping in that.
-You’ve got to! -I’m a bird.
Birds fly. Fish swim.
Me bird. I’ve got a better idea.
Let’s get arrested.
[chest grinds]
- Ay yi yi yi yi, caramba! -Oh, my God.
Mac! Mac, it’s here!
[gasps]
Sam, uh-oh.
[Mac shrieks]
Sam.
We really need to talk, you know.
[Mac] No. No, we don’t.
Sam, Sam, we gotta get up. We gotta get out of here.
We gotta get out of here quick.
Are you out of your mind?!
This is crazy. Come on.
Come on, Sam. Forget it.
-[overlapping chatter] -There he is!
-[grunting] -Come on! Will you come on?!
Have to beat it!
Oh, it’s too late.
We are dead. They’re going to kill us.
[Lou] Stay where you are, Mr. Girdis!
Arrest us, please! Just leave it, Sam!
Please! Please!
[both yelp]
I don’t believe it.
The little weasel actually jumped.
[both yelling]
[squawks]
[yells]
[sputters]
[coughing]
[panting]
Where are we?
Yes, I am still alive. Thank you for asking.
Yi yi yi.
[metal clinks]
It’s the-- It’s the treasure.
Mac, we did it!
-[squawks] -We really did it!
And I’m most grateful.
Finders keepers.
Losers weepers.
Oh, not good. Not good.
Oh, this is a bad situation.
It’s you. Your boy, I know where your boy is.
-Where? -Where?
He’s alive. He just hit the beach.
-"Alive"? What do you mean... -Come on.
[Sam grunting]
[yelps]
[siren blaring]
Look! Out there!
-There’s someone with him. -Sam!
[Beth] Sam!
-Sam! -Sam!
Call for help. Call for help.
He’s got Sam. Call for some help!
-Oh, great. -No, no, no.
It’s not over yet, son.
Let me go. You can have the treasure.
No, dear boy. That’s simply not possible.
Unfortunately you’re the only person between me
and my legally owning all the riches in that chest.
Hey, wait! I’m coming!
I’ll say you found it. I promise.
I’m sorry, Sam.
You must understand that history
is far more profitable than people realize,
and people will go
to extraordinary lengths for that profit.
Thank you, dear boy.
[yells]
[humming a tune]
[engine sputters]
[yelps]
[engine sputtering]
You!
[both grunting]
[Mac squawking]
[screams]
-[squawking] -[Hagen grunting]
[Mac] Thank you. Filthy habit.
Mac, don’t!
[squawks]
-Okay, Dr. Death. -Don’t!
This is one bird dropping you’ll never forget.
[screams]
[squawks]
Huh?
Sam!
Sam! All right, take it easy!
Mac!
[grunts]
Sam! Sam, the rope!
Mac!
No!
Mac!
Mac, please don’t die.
Mac, don’t die!
[crying]
You gotta live.
[Rick] Come on, Sam!
Grab the rope! Come on!
Come on, Sam!
You need both hands!
Come on, Sam! You can do it!
You’re gonna have to leave him!
-Leave the bird! -No!
Let go of the bird! Come on!
You can do it, Sam!
[crying] I’m sorry.
You can do it, Sam! I know you can do it! Pull!
Sam! Sam!
Pull! Come on!
Pull, Sam!
[yelps]
Sam! Sam!
[yells]
[gasping]
Thank you.
[laughs] Thank you, God.
-Thank you. -[crying]
Dad, I’m so sorry.
I don’t hate home. I really don’t.
I’m sorry.
So am I, mate. So am I.
Aw, I’m sorry, too.
[Mac groaning]
-Mac! -Sam.
Sam!
Sam.
Mac! Mac!
-You’re alive! -I am?
Oh, good. [groaning]
Mac.
Mac.
Dad, he’s alive!
Yes, I am alive...
apparently.
[laughs]
-[Beth] Sam! -Mum!
-[Grandpa] Sam! -Grandpa!
-[Grandpa] Oh, thank God. -[squawks]
-Are you okay? -Yes.
Ohh!
-[laughs] -Hey, Mac.
Hey.
[Grandpa laughs]
Sorry, Dr. Hagen.
Finders keepers. Losers weepers.
-[groans] -[squawks]
[squawks]
[groans]
[Beth] Yes! Ha ha!
[Sam laughs]
[both laughing]
-Oh, rest home, huh? -[laughing]
Great tackle.
You were right. I’d forgotten how to have fun.
-That was fun! -Yay!
Can we go home now, huh?
Do I still have one?
Aw, Dad, I-I was wrong about everything.
You’re not crazy.
You’ve just never grown old.
You mean it?
-We can help out. -Ah.
Doesn’t matter anymore, Grandpa.
-[squawks] -You’re rich.
Oh, my God.
This-- Take back everything I ever said.
About giving up when things got tough?
Yeah.
[squawks]
It’s all for you, Grandpa.
-I don’t want it. -[Mac warbles]
You’re kidding, aren’t you?
That belongs to other people.
To us, it just means money.
To them...
it’s their history.
What do you wanna do with it?
[squawks]
It’s your decision, Sam. You found it.
[warbles]
[squawks]
[laughs]
[squawks]
[South American folk music playing]
[cameras snapping]
[folk music fades]
♪ You can spend all your life ♪
♪ Hunting treasure ♪
♪ Digging holes On an empty beach ♪
♪ Though you sail far away ♪
-[blows] -♪ You’ll discover one day ♪
♪ It was there Within your reach ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ But the world offers Thousands of treasures... ♪
I want to thank you. Thank you very much.
♪ If you open Your eyes to them ♪
-[cheering] -♪ See the round yellow moon? ♪
♪ That’s a pirate’s doubloon... ♪
We’ve got to get him home
before his head’s too big for the plane.
-Oh. -♪ ...a fiery gem ♪
♪ And there’s A treasure in you... ♪
Congratulations. [laughs]
♪ A golden treasure in you ♪
Home sounds pretty good to me.
-[squawks] -How ’bout it, partner?
Grandpa...
I’m not going back.
What?
♪ Shine through ♪
♪ The treasure in you ♪
[Rick laughs]
Grandpa, you okay?
I’m staying here, Sam.
What?!
This is where I belong.
I want to end up here.
I-I understand.
We should all end up where we belong.
It’s not always easy.
So long, bird.
You did yourself proud, Sam.
Stay strong, huh?
[warbles]
I’ll miss you, Mac.
Hey, this isn’t an ending.
I’ll see you again in the next life.
Well, maybe I’ll come back as a macaw.
Aw, boy, you as a macaw?
-Now that, I’ve gotta see. -To the wonder of life, eh?
-The wonder of life. -The wonder of life.
♪ And there’s A treasure in you ♪
♪ A golden treasure in you ♪
♪ Unlock your heart ♪
♪ And let your love Shine through ♪
-[squawks] I’m home! -♪ Shine through ♪
- Madre de Dios! -What?
-Mac, is that you? -Mom!
-Is it really you? -Yeah, it’s me.
Where have you been?! You naughty little boy!
-Oh, uh, well... -I’ve been waiting here
-for 150 years, I tell you. -Well, it’s a long story.
Ten minutes, you said! Ten minutes!
-It started with a pirate... -Pirates?!
with a little thing on his ring finger.
Pirates this, and pirates that! What is wrong with you?!
Hey, come back! I haven’t finished yet!
-Mac, come back! -Grandpa!
-Come back here! -Sam, wait!
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
[Mac squawks]
Party, party, party!
Aw, the Mac is back!
Oh, we are gonna go down as one of the great teams of all time,
right up there with Batman and Robin.
Oh! Oh, and Beavis and Butt-head.
Oh, yeah.
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You even worry my pet ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac] Don’t freak. Leave it to the beak.
♪ You talk about people That you don’t know ♪
♪ You talk about people wherever you go ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac] Yeah, so kiss my claw.
♪ You talk about people That you never seen ♪
♪ You talk about people You can make me scream ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac grumbles]
But being a bird has its upside.
We get to make fun of you idiots.
All we have to do is say, "Hello, Polly,"
to one of you humans-- [chuckles]
and you say it back to us for an hour.
You’re complete morons.
[chuckles]
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You even worry my pet ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac] Hey, bozo,
-blow it out your--[squawks] -♪ You talk about people ♪
♪ That you don’t know ♪
♪ You talk about people Wherever you go ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
♪ You talk about people That you’ve never seen ♪
♪ You talk about people You can make me scream ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac] Ow! Rock and roll.
[Mac squawks] That’s all we have time for, folks.
You’re a bunch of morons, and I mean that in a good way.
[squawks] Next stop, Vegas.
Will you quit repeating everything I say?
I’m the parrot. [grumbles]
[bird squawks]
[bird squawks]
[squawks]
[singing in foreign language]
♪ Do you know where To find buried treasure? ♪
-[man] Wait. -♪ Do you know ♪
♪ Where to dig for gold? ♪
♪ You can search every land ♪
♪ Over snow, over sand ♪
♪ And get only burned and cold ♪
♪ But the world offers Thousands of treasures ♪
♪ If you open Your eyes to them ♪
♪ See the round yellow moon? ♪
-♪ That’s a pirate’s doubloon ♪ -Where?! Where?!
-Show me where. -♪ And the sun’s a fiery gem ♪
♪ And there’s A treasure in you ♪
[man] In there!
♪ A golden treasure in you ♪
[man] Here. Here.
♪ Unlock your heart ♪
♪ And let your love Shine through ♪
♪ Shine through ♪
♪ The treasure in you ♪
[stone scraping]
Push! Push!
[grunting]
[men mutter]
[laughs]
[men mutter]
[men gasping, murmuring]
♪ You can spend all your life ♪
-Gold! -♪ Hunting treasure ♪
[men cheer, laugh]
♪ Digging holes On an empty beach ♪
♪ Though you sail far away ♪
♪ You’ll discover one day ♪
♪ It was there Within your reach ♪
♪ And there’s A treasure in you ♪
-Yeah! -[laughs]
♪ A golden treasure in you ♪
-[squawks] -♪ Unlock your heart ♪
♪ And let your love Shine through ♪
♪ Shine through ♪
♪ The treasure in you ♪
[song ends]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[puckering]
[bird squawks]
[sputters]
[laughs]
Look at this, pet.
[chuckles]
We’re rich.
Do you hear me?
Do you understand?
We can have everything we ever dreamed of.
We’re rich.
[bird] Rich.
-Rich. -[stone clatters]
Rich.
[squawks]
[man] You like?
[squawks]
Yeah? You like?
A little present?
[puckers]
[squawks]
[bird] Present.
-[clamps] -[beak snaps]
-[yelps] -Present!
[squawks]
[glass shatters]
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Yes.
[bird] Present.
-[growls] -Present.
A pox on you, then, bird!
[screams]
[squawks]
[squawks]
[men yelling]
[squawks]
[grunting]
1, 2, 3...
[metal clinking]
[squawks]
...536, 537,
538, 539...
[groans]
540.
[kisses]
[grunting]
[panting]
[squawks]
[grunts]
[groans]
[ringing]
[students chatting]
-♪ Around here ♪ -I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
-Okay? Yeah. -♪ Nothing ever happens ♪
♪ We spend our days In a permanent haze ♪
♪ Lie back And watch the city crumble ♪
♪ Now and then, we’re gonna Take a little tumble ♪
♪ Gonna start a new craze ♪
♪ Wise up Love is such a precious thing ♪
♪ Gonna start a new craze ♪
♪ Who knows What tomorrow’s gonna bring? ♪
Grandpa?
♪ Oh, hey, hey ♪
-[Mac mutters] -Grandpa?!
-♪ I’ll hold on to you... ♪ -The correct answer...
-♪ When all else fails ♪ -...keep their dogs on a leash,
-it is, uh, far better... -...an historical vandalism.
-Reports are still unclear... -...at 3:45.
-[Mac] Fascinating. -Dr. Hagen.
-[Mac] 3:45. -How do you respond
to the allegations of artifact theft and historical vandalism?
No comment.
[squawks] No comment.
[squawks]
Hey, Mac, look what I got.
♪ I was bigger than a house ♪
♪ I was bigger than the house That my Daddy built... ♪
Want to go for a ride?
-♪ When I stood tall... ♪ -[winces]
-Clip your toenails. -[squawks]
There you go.
♪ You can smile ♪
-♪ You’re on Candid Camera ♪ -♪ Ohh ♪
-Ready? -[broadcasts continue]
[squawks]
Okay, let’s see what we got.
Oh. Lawyer!
[growls] Bill!
Oh! A friendly one! [kisses]
[laughs]
Lawyer.
Bill. Bills. Bills.
[train whistle blows]
-[squawks] -Hey.
-[laughs] -Do me a favor, will you?
Fill his bath with that water.
-It’s Perrier. -Yeah. He likes...
[both] The feel of the bubbles.
Grandpa, you should get out more often.
Are you crazy? There’s people out there.
[laughs]
Sure look good, little fella.
How ’bout a little food, huh?
-[murmuring] -[laughs]
[Grandpa] Good.
So how’s the latest patient?
Aw, he’s ready.
So when will you let him go?
Tonight’s the night. Look at him feed up there.
[both laugh]
Yeah, here’s another one for our collection.
Wish I could come.
Well, why wouldn’t you?
You haven’t missed one before.
[sighs] Dad wouldn’t let me tonight. I know it.
Oh, things aren’t going too well, huh?
Well, just remember he only wants the best for you.
He’s got a funny way of showing it.
Ah, grown-ups are funny sometimes.
I ought to know. I used to be one.
[both laugh]
Well, have fun tonight.
Aw, come on. Things’ll look up.
Chin up, my boy. [laughs]
To the wonder of life, eh? [laughs]
The wonder of life, Grandpa.
[insects chirping]
-Sorry I’m late. -It’s okay, darling.
Sit down. Your dinner’s getting cold.
Ah, it’s okay. I’m not that hungry.
Sit down. It’s your favorite.
I had an interesting phone call today
from your school principal.
Really?
He said your grades have dropped again this term.
Not as much as last term.
That’s hardly an improvement.
Well, it means I’m getting worse less quickly.
And that makes it all right, does it?
Look, as much as I’d love to stay and party with you guys,
-I’ve gotta go out. -Kathy,
finish your dinner, please.
Look, I’m not gonna sit here
and listen to another argument, okay?
See, the fact is, Sam, you don’t try hard enough.
Soon as the going gets a little tough,
you just give up. And I’m not just talking
about your schoolwork, everything.
-I did my best. -You’ve got no idea
what your best is. You’ve never stuck at anything
-long enough to find out. -I do! It’s just--
Just nothing!
Don’t you leave when I’m talking to you!
Why can’t you be like other dads?
The trouble is he wastes too much time at Dad’s.
Well, at least Pops spends time with him.
[scoffs] Doing what,
teaching him how to speak pigeon or something?
[laughs] Doesn’t matter.
He encourages him. He has fun with him.
Goes crazy with him.
Oh, come on, Rick. You’re not being fair.
Your father’s wonderful.
Yeah, he’s a little unique.
Aw, Beth.
Okay, so he’s eccentric, maybe.
Irresponsible, maybe.
Having fun is not being irresponsible.
Have you forgotten that?
It is if you’re $100,000 in debt.
What?
What?
I had a call from this lawyer.
That’s how much Dad owes this guy’s clients,
and he hasn’t got a cent to pay it back.
Yeah, that’s it.
Yeah. [laughs]
Aw, keep away from traffic this time.
-Come on. -[warbles]
Ah, ah. All right, come on.
Here we go. [laughs]
Here we go.
Hey, okay, my little friend.
You’re safe now.
Off you go, baby. That’s it.
-Freedom! Oh. -[wings flap]
-[chirps] -[laughs]
Um, are you okay up there?
Yeah, I’m ecstatic! Thanks for asking!
-[grunting] -[squawking]
[siren blares]
Hi, Pops.
[Mac squawks]
How is he? Is he all right?
It’s just a hairline fracture of the arm and a few scratches,
but I want to keep him here for a couple days.
Okay. Thank you.
-[Grandpa groans] -Okay, Dad,
you’re gonna be fine.
Of course I am.
Never felt better.
It’s totally outrageous.
So you just been jumping out of trees again, have you?
Eh. [laughs]
Um, Dad...
we need to think about your future.
My future? Yeah.
Well, I-I hope to go to college,
and then I want to backpack around Europe.
[chuckles] Um, I’m serious.
I mean, you can’t keep living the way you’re living now.
Well, why not? I’ve done it for 70 years.
Pops, listen.
You’ve gotten yourself into quite a bit of trouble.
What trouble?
This trouble.
Oh, that trouble.
Well...
don’t worry about it. It’s only about money.
Money you don’t have.
Yes, but look what I do have--
a world to fascinate me,
a family to infuriate me.
[grumbles] As I see it,
I am a very rich man.
Yeah, well, I hate to be a stickler for technicalities,
but these people are taking you to court.
What are you saying?
Wh-What I’m saying is
I’ve had to put your house on the market
to repay the money you owe them.
No.
What?
Well, you tell me. What else could I do?
But-- But that’s my home.
[Mac squawks]
I spent my whole life there.
So did you.
It’s not just the money, Pops.
We thought that you could do with some help now, too.
Help with what? My work?
Just the day-to-day stuff, to make it easier for you.
Rest-home-type help.
-Rest home?! -Don’t--
-I don’t want no rest! -"Rest home" sounds terrible.
There are plenty of nice places out of the city,
and you’re still totally independent.
There.
I’m sorry. No animals are allowed
in this hospital. Thank you.
[squawking] Help!
[patient] Hey!
[patient yelling] Hey!
-Okay. -[glass breaking]
-[orderlies jabbering] -Somebody get him!
-[squawking] -[glass breaking]
-Ow! -Got him! Got him!
Over here! Over here! Put him in!
-[squawking] -[thumping]
[panting]
-I believe this is yours. -[Rick] Mine?
No. It’s Grandpa’s.
Don’t worry, okay?
We’ll work something out.
[Mac cooing]
Well, let him rest. We’ll see you tomorrow.
I don’t want to go.
Okay. Let him stay.
Well, how’s he gonna get home?
We’ll wait.
Yeah.
[coos]
[coos]
They can’t make him leave.
I’ve gotta do something.
-I’ve gotta help him. -[squawks]
[Mac] We’ve got to help him.
How could Dad sell it? It’s just...
What did you just say?
Okay, read my beak.
I said, "We’ve got to help him," Sam.
-You did. -Si.
You just talked.
Oh, well done, Sam.
Oh, boy.
-Oh, boy. -Uh-oh.
He’s certainly--[squawks]
What’s going on?
The bird, it talks!
Please. Come on, mate.
It’s after midnight.
It talks. I’m not kidding.
Like a person. Say something.
-[coos] -Go on. Say something.
[wolf whistles]
[chuckles] Well, you and the incredible talking bird,
off to bed, mate. Come on.
-He talked, Dad. I swear. -Yeah. Bed!
[coos]
-Who else knows? -Quiet.
Only Grandpa, and that’s how it’s going to stay.
But you could be on TV and stuff.
When people saw you talk, you could make a fortune.
[grumbles] Not me.
My beak, she stays zipped.
-Why not? -Forget it.
They’d turn me into the freak with a beak.
I’d be like Mr. Ed with feathers.
It’d be a nightmare you could never imagine in your wildest--
-[Rick] Sam! -Get out of here.
We’ll talk in the morning when everyone’s gone.
It’s okay. We can talk now. I’ll be quiet.
No! Buzz off, or I’ll bite you.
-But I want to-- -[growling]
Okay, I’m going. I’m going.
Hallelujah.
[music playing]
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You even worry my pet ♪
-♪ You just talk ♪ -[telephone rings]
-Hello. Yeah, that’s fine. -♪ Talk too much ♪
-See you. -[reporter] The temperature’s up
to a groovy 22 degrees with an expected top of 28.
It’s a perfect day to get out in the sunshine
and soak up the rays to your favorite--
Can we have some peace and quiet?
[coos] Peace and quiet.
Ha ha. [imitates telephone ringing]
-That’ll be for me. -’Course it will.
Hello.
[Mac] Romper. Romper, food.
-Hello? -[barks]
-Good boy. -Is anyone there?
-[barking] -[chuckles]
Hello?
-Hello? -[imitates kettle whistling]
That’s weird.
-Who’s that? -No one.
[barking]
[Beth] Romper.
-[imitates barking] -[telephone rings]
-This is cold. -Oh? Why?
-Hello? Hello? -Kettle just boiled.
-[imitates barking] -Hello?
Romper!
[imitates telephone ringing]
What’s going on around here?
[imitates barking]
Uh-oh.
-It’s the bird. -[Kathy] What?
It’s all that bird.
[Mac whistles]
-Huh? -Right.
-That’s it. -[whistling]
-Okay, mate. -[squawks]
What are you doing?
Something we’re gonna have to do sooner or later,
-which is find him a new home. -What?
-Where? -I’ll ask at the pet store.
Rick, you cannot sell the bird.
No, of course not,
but I’ll find someone who wants him,
someone who’ll take care of him.
I don’t believe you.
Someone who’s out of their mind.
[Mac] Store. Pet store.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.
[squawks]
Do you sleep with that thing?
Where’s Mac?
Your father’s taken him down to the pet store.
-What?! -Darling, don’t get upset.
He’s just gonna see if he can find
someone who knows how to take care of him!
Sam!
[birds chirping]
I don’t understand.
He was squawking like crazy a minute ago.
Well, he’s had his last squawk now. [chuckles]
Pity. Magnificent bird.
The Ara ararauna,
most intelligent nonprimate in the animal kingdom.
Stop! Don’t sell that bird!
Be a bit hard to in his condition.
Sam, go home. I’ll take care of this.
[babbles]
-[squawks] -[gasps]
[squawks]
Quick. Head for the hills.
[squawks]
Did we just hear that?
[squawks] Hanging four.
-[squawks] -[grunts]
[squawks] Nice landing.
Sam, wait!
Hurry!
Hurry!
[squawks] On the bus.
On the bus.
Sam, please get off.
No. You’re selling Grandpa’s home.
You’re making him leave.
Get off the bus, and come home!
No! I’m not gonna let you do it! I’m gonna save him!
Please, just get off the bus,
and we’ll talk about it. Come on.
No! I hate being home!
I hate it!
[coos]
[music playing]
We’d better save Grandpa now, bird,
-’cause I’m in serious trouble. -Never call me bird again.
I’ll peck your lights out, comprendo, squirt?
I’ll sell everything,
my bike, my skateboard, everything.
[coos] Forget it. I mean,
that won’t even pay Grandpa’s gas bill.
So how can we do it, then?
With this little bauble right here.
-What’s that? -And a little nest egg.
Who’d want to buy that?
You would be surprised.
It’s just a crummy old ring.
And you’re just a dumb kid. I’m out of here.
-[coos] -Hey, where are you going?!
♪ Too many times, I’ve seen ♪
♪ The sun come up through Bloodshot eyes this week ♪
♪ No matter what I do ♪
♪ Since we broke up I find it hard to sleep... ♪
-So what’s up? -Going to the museum.
They appreciate history.
[squawks]
Wait!
♪ What is there left to do ♪
♪ But to drink And watch the view? ♪
-[laughs] -♪ I think that it ♪
♪ Might rain this afternoon ♪
-♪ Too many times ♪ -[babbles]
-♪ Too many times ♪
Oh, what kept you?
Okay, into the museum.
-♪ Too many times ♪ -[clears throat]
Ah, thank you.
[clears throat] First of all,
we gotta get this ring off my foot.
Whoa, careful. What are you doing?
Gently. Uh, you got some soap or something?
[Mac] Oh, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?
You’re a sick pussycat. That’s what you are.
[squawking]
Dr. Hagen’s busy right now.
Uh, it’s okay. I’ll wait.
-Okay. -[squawks]
I don’t like the way people are staring at me.
Look at ’em. I feel they all wanna stuff me
and put me on display.
[Mac] Oh. Oh. Oh.
-Sam, that’s him. -Dr. Hagen.
-That’s him. Don’t look. -You see this boy?
He won’t go.
Yes?
Um, I want to sell a ring.
Then may I suggest a jeweler?
No, I-I think it’s really old.
-What’d you say your name was? -Sam Girdis.
Where did you get this from, Sam?
Um...
someone gave it to my Grandpa.
[coos]
I think it’s more important than you realize.
It comes from a remote Amazonian temple,
a culture that, as it happens, I know a great deal about.
Does that mean you want to buy?
Well, uh...
it’d have to go to the board of trustees.
Unless of course you and I came to some personal arrangement.
-[squawks] -How much is it worth?
[chuckles]
How to put a value on history?
But I’d say at least $3,000.
-[squawks] -[laughs] Wow!
I tell you what.
Can you come back tomorrow?
Sure.
-Tomorrow, then. -[coos]
Oh, and, Sam...
it’s vital that we keep this between ourselves, hmm?
Yeah, okay.
[Mac] Eh, "Just a crappy old ring," huh?
[chuckles]
$3,000!
Yeah, so kiss my claw.
[hammering]
Uh-oh.
-Who’s that? -It looks like a thug.
No, he’s an estate agent.
-Same thing. -He’s the one selling the house.
Okay, okay. Let’s think.
[squawks] Oh, I know.
Go kill him.
[grumbles] Real estate agents.
Wait! Don’t sell it!
I can pay what Grandpa owes!
-And who are you? -My Grandpa lives here.
-[Mac] Attack! -Mac!
What the hell is that?!
Leave, pirate! [squawks]
You don’t have to sell his house.
I’ve got the money, a ton of it.
Go off. Off you go. I’m busy.
I’m serious. I’ve got $3,000.
Or I will have by tomorrow.
Ah, sorry, young fella.
You’ll need a lot more than that.
[squawks]
[sighs] They’re just gonna kick him out.
And turn me into a feather duster. [squawks]
I don’t believe it.
Grandpa’s never done anything bad to anybody.
Eh, can’t let it happen.
Face it.
We need a miracle.
Hmm. [squawks]
We just might have one.
What are you talking about?
I’m talking about treasure.
What do you mean, treasure?
Gold, diamonds, pieces of eight.
You know, real treasure.
-Where? -Buried.
Oh, it’s all coming back.
Oh, sure. Buried by pirates, right?
You got it.
You’re looking at a genuine ex-pirate’s parrot.
Come with me right here.
But pirates were last century.
I’m no spring chicken, remember?
I’m 149 years old.
You mean you really sailed with pirates?
Sailed with ’em all, Bluebeard, Yellowbeard,
Blackbeard, in fact, the whole Beard family.
[squawks] ♪ Blow, ye winds... ♪
And you’re talking about real pirate treasure?
♪ Haul away-- ♪ What?
Wait a minute.
How come Grandpa doesn’t know?
Hey, well, he knows. He just never cared as much.
You know what he’s like about money.
I must have told him a hundred times,
but would he listen to me? Huh? [squawks]
So where’s it buried?
Oh, under a tree marked with an X on an island.
-A tree with an X? -Yeah, on an island
in the Pacific. It’s not too far.
In the Pacific?!
Will you quit repeating everything I say?
I’m the parrot. [grumbles]
But Grandpa’s house is being sold in six days.
How do we get to this island and back by then?
How else? We fly.
[squawks] Fly.
Uh-huh, as in flapping fly?
Hello! As in airplane fly.
Big thing, wings, like birds, bigger.
And how do you expect us to pay for the tickets?
I think $3,000 ought to cover it.
Oh, remember that?
Yeah. [laughs]
[chuckles]
[Mac] No. No. No.
Oh. Eh! That’s it. That’s it.
There! Coral Island!
That’s it! [laughs]
-♪ Blow, ye winds... ♪ -Are you sure?
♪ Heave away ♪
Hey, I may be old, but I’m not senile.
[sighs] Look how far it is.
Yes, so get some sleep.
We set sail at first light.
Coral Island bound, me hearty.
[chuckles] It’ll be just like old times.
[humming a tune]
Hey, where’s mine?
Don’t worry. He’ll be back soon.
Believe me.
Don’t worry. I know where he’ll be.
Wow, he really has run away.
Oh, thanks, Kathy.
[squawks]
[imitating reveille bugle call]
Come on. Let’s get to the museum.
[imitating reveille bugle call]
Polly want a punch in the mouth?
[Beth] Sam!
Oh, quick. Get up.
It’s me, Sam!
[Mac] We can’t let ’em catch us.
Quick. This way.
Over to the balcony. Let’s go.
Let’s go. Let’s go. Oh, no, no, no, no.
I fly. You jump. One, two...
[squawks]
Sam!
Come on, Sam!
You brat.
[Rick] Sam.
[squawks]
Dr. Hagen!
Sam.
I’m so glad you came back.
Are you going to buy the ring?
[bells pealing]
Well, um, I’ve decided to offer you $3,000.
-Ah. Wow. -Is it a deal?
Uh, you bet.
[Mac whistles]
Would you buy other stuff, too?
-I mean, like a lot of it. -[Mac grunts]
Ow.
You have more?
[Mac groans]
Sam, do you have any more?
Uh, no. I just made it up.
-I gotta go. -No, no. Please stay.
Sam!
[Mac cooing]
[squawks]
Do you know of any other artifacts, Sam?
[Mac cooing]
-Good morning, Dr. Hagen. -[grunts]
[squawks]
[Sam] That guy’s a psycho.
[Mac] And you’re an idiot.
Why don’t you just tell him where the treasure’s buried
so he can find it himself?
He doesn’t know anything.
He knows you know.
Mucho stúpido.
Okay, so I made a mistake.
What are you gonna do, peck me to death?
Ah, don’t tempt me.
Quick. Act like a parrot. Everybody’s watching.
Oh, please give me strength.
[squawks] Polly want a cracker.
[squawks] Polly want a stupid cracker.
-How is he? -How am I?
I’m completely and utterly insane.
-Dad, do you know where Sam is? -No. Why?
He didn’t come home last night. Do you know where he is?
I’ve no idea.
And if I did, why would you believe a demented old man?
Pops, please.
He ran off saying he was gonna try and save you.
Now please think, Dad. Is there anything he might do,
anything that-- oh, that might possibly help you.
Anything.
[siren passing]
-What? -What?
Was Mac with him?
Well, yeah.
Oh, dear.
-Oh, no. -What?
-[Kathy] What? -What is it?
Let me out. I gotta get out.
What now?
Dial information, 4-1-1.
No, no. Give me the phone.
What are you doing?
Qantas Airways, please.
Ticket counter.
[typing]
Enjoy your vacation.
Next.
Uh, I have to pick up a ticket to Coral Island, please.
Coral Island. Half your luck.
Um, my father booked the ticket for me.
It’s Sam Girdis.
Is it just you traveling?
And my parrot.
Um, I’m afraid the parrot will have to go in cargo.
-[squawking] -That’s okay.
[typing]
[squawks] "I’m afraid the parrot will have to go in cargo."
What’s she think I am, a set of golf clubs or something?
-Shut up, will you? -Si.
I’ve got a plan.
Aw, well, it better be good,
because I want cabin service. [squawks]
In-flight movies, you understand.
Free drinks, seat belts, duty free, bad food,
magazines, pillows...
[jet engines roaring]
[Mac] This is a disgrace.
I look like a pimp.
This is Ronald.
Say hello to the nice man, Ronald.
[high voice] Hello, nice man.
[flight attendant] Good morning.
Would you like a drink?
Rum, straight up, no ice.
[laughs] How cute.
Thanks. You ain’t so bad yourself.
[Sam] No drink, please.
Here’s some peanuts.
[Mac] Oh, peanuts. Don’t mind if I do.
Oh! Why don’t-- No, they’re for me.
No. [stammering] Give me.
Let go of my nuts, kid. Oh!
Uh-oh.
Is this puppet act really necessary?
What’s wrong with Mr. Hairy Lip?
You mind your tongue, young man.
I’m sorry.
I’m not. [laughs]
You’re the most offensive little brat I’ve ever met.
What are you trying to do? You’ll get us caught.
Oh, sorry. Didn’t let the rabbit get a word in, did I?
-[chuckles] -[sighs]
No need to take it out on the rabbit.
[chuckles]
Now, Dad, you have to tell us.
You’ll never believe me.
We will, Pops. Just tell us.
[sighs]
I think Sam has gone to a place
called Coral Island in the South Pacific.
Uh-huh.
And what makes you say that?
If I tell you something else,
will you all swear never to utter a word to anybody?
-Yeah. -[grunts]
There’s a treasure buried there.
I think Sam and Mac must have gone after it.
[Kathy stifles laughter]
Is everything all right?
[overlapping chatter]
Guys! Guys, here!
[Mac] Ai yi yi.
What happened to this place?
Taxi! Taxi, sir! Taxi!
I’ll take you anywhere.
-Taxi! -I bet you would.
Welcome to Coral Island.
Welcome.
-Where’s the tree? -On top of a hill.
-Which hill? -Aw, give me a break.
It’s been 140 years.
Ready to go, sir?
We’ve gotta tell him something.
Oh, drive to the, uh, beach.
If they still got one.
-Where to, sir? -Can we go to the beach, please?
Anywhere you like, sir.
[Sam] On the east side.
-Thanks. -Thank you, sir.
Call me anytime you want a taxi, anytime, anytime.
Yeah.
[squawks]
-See ya. -Big bucks.
That’s what he said.
And you’re supposed to say,
"That’s outrageous," and then offer him nothing.
[squawks] Wise up, kid.
It’s a jungle out there.
Okay, where do we go?
Uh, I can’t remember.
-What? -Quick. Look out.
Parrot groupies.
Oh, what a cute bird.
Hey, little birdie.
-Hey, little Polly. -[coos]
[music playing]
[seabirds calling]
[squawks]
-[grumbles] -Ow!
-Oh, are you all right? -Nasty little bird.
No touching the merchandise.
[scoffs] What’d you do that for?
Keep your mind on your job, squirt. [squawks]
I just remembered which hill.
It’s 540 paces due west from just over there.
540 paces due west. Okay.
Well, which way’s west?
We’re facing west. Straight ahead, huh?
[sighs]
-One, two-- -No, no.
Bigger step. Bigger steps, like a pirate.
-Two, three... -Never lose count.
-160... -Hippopotamus.
-161... -Hippopotamus.
-162-- -[speaking native language]
-[speaking native language] -Buenos días.
-[speaking native language] -[motorbike passing]
-[dog barking] -163.
[sighs] 163...
Hippopotamus.
-166... -Hippopotamus.
-167... -Hippopotamus.
-168, 169... -Hippopotamus.
-[rider] Hey! Hey! -170...
-Hey! -[squawks]
What are you trying to do, bird, get me killed?
Just relax, squirt. Keep counting.
You are so easily distracted. [squawks]
[girl laughs]
-171... -Hippopotamus.
-172... -And he missed you by miles.
-173... -Hippopotamus.
-376... -Hippopotamus.
-377... -Hippopotamus.
-378... -Hippopotamus.
-379... -Hippopotamus.
Shut up! Will you stop saying, "Hippopotamus"?!
Okay, okay. You only had to ask. [squawks]
380...
Aardvark.
[groans]
381.
-381... -Gnu.
-382... -Kangaroo.
-383-- -Iguana.
-Stop it! -[squawks]
-384... -Giraffe.
-521... -Water buffalo.
-522... -Lesser kudu.
-523... -Okapi.
-524... -Caribou.
-525... -Hippopotamus.
-526... -Wall.
Five hundred and twe--
What now?
Well, we go over it.
Oh, that’s easy for me to say, isn’t it?
All right, let’s go round to the other side.
Remember those trees.
Oh, we’re getting warm, squirt. I can feel it in my feathers.
Few more paces, and the tree of our dreams will be here...
aha, somewhere.
-Fine. -Or...
Except now, instead of a tree,
there’s a dirty, great-big hotel here.
Oh, well, I didn’t know.
Why did we even come here, anyway?
This was so stupid.
But it wasn’t like this the last time I was here.
[squawks] Wait. Wait.
Do you hear that on the other side of the wall?
Birds. So what?
[birds warbling]
Oh, why do I bother?
If there’s birds over there,
there might be trees over there, huh?
Huh, Einstein?
Okay. I’ll go have a look.
You wait by the entrance.
[squawks] Ay, caramba.
[birds chirping]
[squawks]
Okay, the good news is there are lots more trees.
-Fantastic. -The bad news is I can’t tell
-which one of them is the one. -Right.
It’s going to be a bigger job than I thought.
[squawks] Come on. We’re checking in.
-What?! -Come on.
-[music playing] -[squawks]
I don’t think we should be in here.
Relax. Just think of it as a cheap motel...
made of marble.
[soft chatter]
[typing]
[squawks]
We’d like a room, please.
[squawks]
[typing]
I-I’ve got money.
I’m sorry. You must be accompanied by an adult.
[squawks]
[hisses] Shoo!
Shoo! Shoo! [grunts]
-[hisses] -[squawks]
And we don’t allow pets.
Oh, it’s okay.
He’s no trouble.
No room. No pets.
Do I make myself clear?
[squawks] Check.
[squawks]
[typing]
[Sam] I saw some trees through the side doors.
[squawks] Now we just gotta hope there’s one marked with an X.
But how do we get in?
That snobby guy will see us for sure.
[squawks] Oh, he’s a pushover.
He doesn’t know who he’s up against. [squawks]
[laughs]
-Excuse me. -Yes.
I’d like a room, please.
Certainly, Dr. Hagen.
-[doo-wop music playing] -[singers vocalizing]
[squawks]
[squawks]
♪ Now they up and call me Speedo ♪
♪ But my real name is Mr. Earl... ♪
-Security. -[squawks]
Keep your head up. I’m slipping.
[Sam] I can’t help it.
♪ My real name is Mr. Earl... ♪
See that kid there?
It’s this dress.
There’s nothing wrong with the dress.
-It’s fabulous. -♪ Meetin’ brand-new fellas ♪
♪ And taking Other folks’ girls ♪
♪ Well, now they up And call me Speedo ♪
♪ ’Cause I don’t believe In wastin’ time ♪
Worked like a dream.
Give me a boost, huh? I’ll check the trees.
Up, up, and away!
[flashlight tapping]
Ah, whoa. What a slippery bunch of coconuts.
Eh, hey, who’s this?
Huh? Is he for real?
Bozo the Clown come to life.
[music stops]
Bull’s-eye.
[music and vocalizing resume]
[birds chirping]
[both grunt]
I got you now, you little twerp.
Situation is under control.
The situation is under control.
[squawking]
If I find you within an inch--
inch of this hotel again, your parents will be
picking you up at the police station.
-¿Comprende? -Hey, bozo,
blow it out your-- [squawks]
Did you see an X?
No, nothing.
Did you check them all?
Every one, but it might have faded over the years.
So what are we meant to do, dig under ’em all?
Well, yes. Uh...
[chuckles]
He might have had a parrot with him.
Well, no, I don’t think that’s so strange.
-You know, that chubby kid. -No, no, no, no.
He’s not friends with him anymore.
Missing persons? It’s about my son.
Well, they transferred me to you. I di--
[Grandpa] Hey, Rick!
Yeah. Listen, they’re only gonna transfer me back again.
Look, Rick! Rick!
It’s the airline.
You might like to hear what they have to say.
Yes.
-[grunts] -Dad.
What?
He is in the South Pacific.
-[birds chirping] -[animals warbling]
What are those noises?
Aw, don’t worry. It’s only night trash.
They just think they’re tough.
-Mac... -What?
aren’t you scared?
[squawks] The only thing I’m scared of
is being too scared to do what we have to do, right?
[squawks] Right?
[grunts]
[grunting]
Mac. Mac, help.
Shh. Humans.
[speaking native language]
[laughs]
-[squawks] -[wings flap]
Okay. I’ll get this thing off.
[grunting]
Tomorrow morning?!
I’m sorry, Mr. Girdis. It’s the first flight.
-You’re not going anywhere. -What?!
Excuse me. Can we discuss this like grown-ups?
I can’t talk to him anymore.
I might as well talk to the wall.
What about another airline?
We’re the only airline that goes to Coral Island.
But there are three tickets still available.
Do you want them?
-We’ll take one. -Two.
-Three! -And that’s final!
Um, seated together...
or separate? [chuckles]
[grunting]
Oh, well, come on. Put some backbone into it.
[sighs] This is hopeless. It’ll take years.
You know, the guy who buried this treasure
used his bare hands.
Will you shut up? I’m doing all the work.
Just making conversation.
Uh-oh. Hit the deck.
It’s the hotel bozo.
He’s coming this way.
Get on.
[Mac] Back to the wall.
But quietly.
You’re wearing sneakers, so sneak.
Slow down. [squawks]
See? We lost him.
Now--Whoa. Wait.
No, no. Wait. Hide. Wait.
Hide. Thank you.
-Oh, fine. -[gasps]
-Oh, boy. -It’s him.
It’s the museum weirdo.
Oh, we’re dead.
[Mac] Hold it. Look.
-Where? -Behind you.
Great. It’s a wall.
It’s a wall with a hole.
Get the cover off.
[grunting]
[metal clatters]
Uh-oh.
It didn’t work.
He saw us. Come on.
Ah, excellent.
We can stay here ’til the heat dies down
and go back and dig again. Come on. This way.
No, no. This way.
Oh, smell that food.
Table 24. Service!
[Sam] I gotta eat.
I can’t keep digging unless I eat.
I am peckish myself.
Do you think you can squeeze through
-and get something? -What am I, room service?
Okay. You stay here.
I’ll give it a shot.
-[metal bangs] -Quietly.
[Mac grunts]
[squawks]
Hey, big mistake.
-[doo-wop music playing] -[singer vocalizing]
[coos]
[squawks]
[squawking]
Oh, caviar.
How disgusting.
[squawks]
Security!
A fire! A fire! Quick!
-Why didn’t you say something? -There!
[singers vocalize]
Situation under control.
[dishes breaking]
[squawking]
[singer vocalizing]
Something about that bird just isn’t right.
[squawks] Come on. Get around the corner.
Hurry. Move it. Move it. Move it.
Ah, okay, here we go. Cracker and caviar.
-It’s beluga. -Is this all you got?
It was too risky. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.
-[sighs] -Just eat up, and quick.
-Go. Go. Further along. -Why?
Oh, I don’t want to debate this. Just go.
Go, go, go.
Ugh!
Oh, what?
[Mac] Uh, be careful. I think there’s a trapdoor...
[grunts]
[groans]
...up ahead. [chuckles]
Go on. Take a break. You deserve it.
There’s another trapdoor.
Oh, the other side.
Up here?
Si. Hurry.
Oh, full speed ahead.
[outside voice echoes]
[jazz playing]
[music stops]
[Mac] Hmm.
[audience murmuring]
Uh-oh.
[whispering] Do something.
Like what?
-[murmuring continues] -[laughter]
Wait a minute.
[Mac] Oh, no. Don’t do that.
-[audience gasping] -This is humiliating.
Uh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
[whispering] Talk.
U-Um, good evening, Homo erecti.
I’d like to introduce you to my partner, Sam Girdis,
ventriloquist extraordinaire.
He’s great with people.
[chuckles] That’s it.
And I’m the real macaw.
You like my outfit?
I grew it myself. [squawks]
[laughter]
[whispering] That’s great. Keep going.
Relax. I’m a parrot. I’ll wing it.
[squawks] People always ask me,
"Mac, what’s it like to be a bird?"
Well, it’s no bed of roses, no, sirree.
You gotta sleep standing up. [squawks]
[laughter]
Anyway, hey, this guy didn’t think I was funny.
Of course he doesn’t. He’s got two girlfriends.
-He’s too tired to laugh. -[laughter]
Ah, but being a bird has its upside.
We get to make fun of you idiots.
-Mac. -All we have to do
is say, "Hello, Polly," to one of you humans,
and you say it back to us for an hour.
You’re complete morons.
-[Mac chuckles] -[applause]
-What are you doing? -Performing here.
Be nice. You’ll get us into trouble.
Oh, no. They love it. Watch.
In fact, you’re a bunch of brainless lemmings.
-What are you? -[all] Brainless lemmings.
Oh, let’s hear that again.
What are you?
[audience laughing]
Yes.
[cheering]
[Mac] Thank you. Thank you. You’ve been too kind.
You’ve been a great audience. I love you.
Next stop, Vegas. Hey!
Hey, not yet. I’m on a roll.
My public-- Thank you.
My public needs me. Thank you.
Thank you.
Got you, you little twerp.
-Thank you, Lou. -Mr. St. John.
I’ll take care of our guest.
Ah, he’s no guest, sir.
Ah. Perhaps if I could offer him a complimentary room,
he’d be persuaded.
Nigel St. John, general manager, the Grand.
Sam Girdis, and this is Mac.
[squawks] The cabaret legend.
[laughs] I’d be delighted
if you and, uh, Mac would do us the honor
of performing again at dinner tomorrow night.
[gasps] Yeah, thanks.
[Mac chuckles] Struck out, bozo.
[laughs]
[Mac] Oh! Life, I love it!
[squawks] Rum cake.
I really love it. [laughs]
Did you hear the audience laugh? You were fantastic.
Ah, you were pretty good yourself, squirt. [squawks]
It looked hairy there for a while,
but you hung in when things go tough.
for once in your life, huh, huh?
Wish I could do it all the time.
That’s why my Dad’s mad at me.
Well, you can.
Ah, this being strong,
oh, hey, it’s all in the head.
I’m still scared now, though.
What about?
[sighs] That psycho, he followed us here.
Ah, forget about him.
We’ll find the treasure, and be home
while he’s still scratching his big, ugly head. [chuckles]
Well, how do we dig under all those trees?
Simple, one by one.
[laughs]
Oh, man, this rum cake’s got a kick like a mule.
[belches]
That’ll do it.
[speaking native language]
[men speaking native language]
♪ Blow, ye winds And fill those sails ♪
♪ Heave away far away ♪
♪ I’ll drink ’Til my liver fails ♪
♪ Bound for South Australia ♪
[gurgles]
Mac.
Are birds like people?
Eh, like people?
[sputters] Are you kidding?
No, I mean, like do you have a family and friends and stuff?
Yeah, we do.
Well, I did.
[hiccups] Ohh.
And did your parents give you a hard time?
Oh, yeah, sure.
But when I was taken away,
I realized something.
What?
I missed them.
Did you miss the forest, too?
Not at first.
Uh, but the funny thing is,
the older I get, the more I do.
I miss home.
That doesn’t sound like you.
I told Dad I hated it.
Oh. Well, do you?
I didn’t used to.
Dad was fun. We did everything together.
Oh. Well, what happened?
I don’t know.
Just stopped.
Dad got really serious.
Nothing to do with you, I suppose.
W-Well, maybe a bit.
Hmm?
I just want him to like me again.
Believe me, if you come home with a million bucks,
he’s going to like you.
-And if I don’t? -Oh, flaps down.
Throttle back. Chocks away!
Oh, boy. Never drink and fly.
Did I mention that?
[groans] So are you having some of this, or what?
[warbles]
[Mac grumbling]
-Mac! -Whoa. Not so loud.
Why didn’t you wake me up?
[Mac groaning]
Ugh. I got a mouth like the bottom of a birdcage.
[gags] Disgusting.
-[coughs] -[elevator dings]
We’ll start with the trees at the back,
where no one can see.
Good morning, Mr. Girdis.
Your complimentary breakfast is being served in the restaurant.
Ah. Thanks.
[Mac] Breakfast?
Get security to the gardens. Now!
Hear that? Follow them.
[Mac] Ah, look at all those holes.
Yes, sir.
Someone’s dug under every tree.
It was him, Hagen.
[Mac] Oh, you know what this means?
Either he found the treasure, or it’s not here.
-Oh, after all that time. -So that’s it.
-It’s all over. -I can’t believe it.
[squawks] Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
-[gasps] -Sam.
What an extraordinary surprise.
-[groans] -Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Sam.
Let me go, or I’ll call security.
Well, then I’d have to tell them
that you’re a runaway who isn’t here with his parents.
I think it best if you cooperate.
Where is it?
I don’t know.
You gotta believe me.
[squawks]
Please, I just want to go home.
Home. [squawks] Home.
Home is a long way away.
Sam, if you don’t tell me what I wish to hear,
things could get very upsetting for you.
May I take your order?
Just coffee.
[squawks]
And for that creature and yourself?
-Uh, nothing. -[squawks]
-[squawks] -You better tell the truth, Sam,
for your own sake.
[squawks]
I don’t know.
[squawking]
It was there. It was there all the time.
-How do we get down to it? -Ah, we dig.
We can’t dig through the floor
in the middle of a bunch of snooty people eating.
We don’t dig down. We dig up.
[sighs]
Okay. Hold on tight.
[squawking]
[humming a tune]
[scoffs]
-[squawks] -Shh.
[lock rattles]
[computer beeping]
Stand guard. I’ve got an idea.
Oh, rock and roll.
Ah, looks like a hotel cockpit.
Oh.
[sputters]
[alarm blaring]
Hey, cut it out!
I didn’t do anything!
[bell ringing]
[computer powers down]
Remain calm. Remain calm.
-Calm. -What’s happening?
It’s that little weasel. I know it.
-[alarm blaring] -You’re on the switches.
Oops. Sorry.
[alarm stops]
Sam, I think we better get out of here.
Hey, Mac!
[squawks]
-I think we’re in luck. -[squawks]
It’s not a treasure map, but it’s close enough.
Ooh, where’s the reference. Can you see the restaurant?
Um, it’s here, I think.
[Mac] Okay. There’s a corridor leading,
-uh, nowhere in particular. -Can we get into it?
Uh, no. Perfect.
There’s a manhole cover right outside.
[Mac] Ah, there it is.
Ah, okay. After you.
Ah. Oh, and we’re--
[gasps] First step in.
Ah, that’s the one. Okay.
When does it go under the restaurant?
Ah, just up ahead, I think.
Think it’s safe?
Oh, well, hang in there.
I’ll check it out.
[squawks] Too easy!
So far, so good.
Oh. Come on down.
[yelps]
[screams]
Touchdown!
-[gasps] -This boy’s hot.
I ought to break your neck.
No. [squawks] You ought to thank me.
We’re right under the tree.
Go. Start digging, partner.
[laughs]
How could they sell a plane ticket to a boy?
He hasn’t even turned 16 yet.
Eh, he say something?
Please don’t start, either of you.
If you hadn’t planted this ridiculous idea of treasure
in his head, none of this would have happened.
[chuckles] Listen to him.
Still blaming everybody but himself.
Look, Sam and I have our little tiffs,
like any father, son, but that’s not the issue.
Oh, is that it, huh?
So what makes a child feel so unhappy
that he runs hundreds of miles away from home
without telling his parents?
Is it because he’s just unhappy after a little family tiff?
Is that it? Is that how you see it?
Well, call me crazy, as you do, but I think you’re wrong.
Ah, again, I’m wrong.
He’s right, Rick.
And what makes him feel so unhappy?
Because somewhere along the way,
his father lost his sense of joy,
and life without joy isn’t life for anyone,
especially a child.
Flight 26 to Coral Island is now boarding.
Would all passengers please get to lounge number four.
[Beth] Are you coming?
[squawks] Okay, get into it, squirt.
Victory is almost ours.
♪ Blow, ye winds And fill those sails ♪
♪ Heave away far away ♪ Oh!
Oh! Careful! Careful!
Oh, we’re gonna go down
as one of the great teams of all time,
right up with Batman and Robin,
oh, and Beavis and Butt-head.
Oh, yeah, they’re gonna be talking about this for--
Oh, careful. Watch it! For years to come!
We’re gonna have to pay people money
to stop from talking about this.
[stone grinds]
Oh, we’re almost there, Sam.
You know, not only are we gonna save Grandpa’s house,
but we’re gonna have enough money left over
to open a five-star bird hospital
with teeny, tiny Jacuzzis and feather enhancement
and free beak-jobs for the first three customers.
-Mac. -What?
-I think I’ve found it. -Where?
Show me. Show me. Show me. Show me. Show me. Show me.
Look. It’s-- it’s...
[Mac] It’s a tree root.
[sighs] Oh, well.
At least we’re under the tree, huh?
[Mac] Ah, it’s gotta be here.
Oh, imagine if the developer of the place found it.
-[grunts] -Aw, it’d kill me,
priceless artifacts going to a guy in white shoes.
-This is hopeless. -Well, keep going.
-What are you-- -There’s no point.
It’s not here.
Oh, so you’re just gonna give up?
The treasure’s gone.
There’s also a weirdo after us,
and we’re a million miles from home.
Face it. We’re stuffed.
[growls] Don’t say, "Stuffed."
I hate that word.
I’ve been digging all day.
If I dig any more, the tree’ll fall over.
[Mac groans]
You know, your Dad is right about you.
You don’t have what it takes.
You take that back.
No. You’re a fair-weather sailor, Sam.
As soon as things get tough, you give up.
Dig yourself, then!
I’m going.
[groans]
Mac.
Mac?
Uh, e-excuse me.
Do you speak English?
[telephone rings]
Uh, we’re looking for our son, Sam Girdis.
Sam Gir--
Girdis. G-I-R-D-I-S.
He’s 15 years old.
-And he could be with a parrot. -[telephone rings]
-[speaking native language] -Hello, poli--
[groans]
Has anyone seen him?
-No. -No.
All right, thank you.
[conversing in native language]
Yes, I’d like a search run on a young kid,
Sam Girdis, G-I-R-D-I-S.
He’s with a parrot. [gasps]
It’s meant to be 540 paces up that hill.
You told Sam all this?
One, two, three...
This is unbelievable.
-Come on. -four, five...
Thank you.
[chuckles] I knew it.
Okay, you little punk.
You’re nailed.
[grunting]
[yelps]
Mac?
Hello, Sam.
[gasping]
[gasps]
Don’t try to run, Sam!
[jazz playing]
[audience cheering]
Where’s the bird?
I don’t know.
[Mac squawks]
Party on, dude!
Ah, hey, yeah!
The Mac is back.
Okay, morons, are we ready for another animal act?
[squawks]
146, 147, 148...
-You okay? -149...
Yeah, it’s just something in my shoe.
-Okay. -[gasps]
Ohh. Come on, honey.
-[cheering] -[squawks]
Ah, my, aren’t we letting our hair down tonight?
-You go and get the others. -Mac.
So, speaking of hair,
I just had the most irresistible nesting urge.
-You... -[squawking]
-[Velcro rips] -[yelps]
Come back here!
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
[squawks] That’s all we have time for, folks.
You been a great bunch of morons,
and I mean that in a good way.
[squawks] Next stop, Vegas.
I want you to get that bird and tear it limb from limb,
get the kid and wring his neck,
and block all exits!
Go!
We’re trapped. They’re blocking the exits.
[squawks] Then we’ll have to unblock them.
How?
Don’t freak. Leave it to the beak.
[coos] Open the door, please.
Thank you.
Attention, everybody. Attention, everybody.
Leave the hotel immediately.
Please don’t panic,
-but the hotel is on fire. -[bell ringing]
I repeat-- Everybody, remain calm.
-[Lou] There is no fire! -[crowd yelling]
Th-There is no fire!
Go back to your rooms! Everything is under control!
There is no fire!
Help! [yells]
[worker] Get back the other way!
Hey, Mac, over here!
[crowd yelling]
[squawks]
Quick, let’s make a break.
There is--
[squawks] Abort!
Abort!
There’s one exit we haven’t tried.
[worker] Get back the other way!
[groans]
...34, 35, 36,
-37... -Hey, whoa!
38, 39, 540!
Get to the side. Great. Quick, quick, quick.
What the...
Ah, the little ferret’s gone under.
[squawks] I am not jumping in that.
-You’ve got to! -I’m a bird.
Birds fly. Fish swim.
Me bird. I’ve got a better idea.
Let’s get arrested.
[chest grinds]
- Ay yi yi yi yi, caramba! -Oh, my God.
Mac! Mac, it’s here!
[gasps]
Sam, uh-oh.
[Mac shrieks]
Sam.
We really need to talk, you know.
[Mac] No. No, we don’t.
Sam, Sam, we gotta get up. We gotta get out of here.
We gotta get out of here quick.
Are you out of your mind?!
This is crazy. Come on.
Come on, Sam. Forget it.
-[overlapping chatter] -There he is!
-[grunting] -Come on! Will you come on?!
Have to beat it!
Oh, it’s too late.
We are dead. They’re going to kill us.
[Lou] Stay where you are, Mr. Girdis!
Arrest us, please! Just leave it, Sam!
Please! Please!
[both yelp]
I don’t believe it.
The little weasel actually jumped.
[both yelling]
[squawks]
[yells]
[sputters]
[coughing]
[panting]
Where are we?
Yes, I am still alive. Thank you for asking.
Yi yi yi.
[metal clinks]
It’s the-- It’s the treasure.
Mac, we did it!
-[squawks] -We really did it!
And I’m most grateful.
Finders keepers.
Losers weepers.
Oh, not good. Not good.
Oh, this is a bad situation.
It’s you. Your boy, I know where your boy is.
-Where? -Where?
He’s alive. He just hit the beach.
-"Alive"? What do you mean... -Come on.
[Sam grunting]
[yelps]
[siren blaring]
Look! Out there!
-There’s someone with him. -Sam!
[Beth] Sam!
-Sam! -Sam!
Call for help. Call for help.
He’s got Sam. Call for some help!
-Oh, great. -No, no, no.
It’s not over yet, son.
Let me go. You can have the treasure.
No, dear boy. That’s simply not possible.
Unfortunately you’re the only person between me
and my legally owning all the riches in that chest.
Hey, wait! I’m coming!
I’ll say you found it. I promise.
I’m sorry, Sam.
You must understand that history
is far more profitable than people realize,
and people will go
to extraordinary lengths for that profit.
Thank you, dear boy.
[yells]
[humming a tune]
[engine sputters]
[yelps]
[engine sputtering]
You!
[both grunting]
[Mac squawking]
[screams]
-[squawking] -[Hagen grunting]
[Mac] Thank you. Filthy habit.
Mac, don’t!
[squawks]
-Okay, Dr. Death. -Don’t!
This is one bird dropping you’ll never forget.
[screams]
[squawks]
Huh?
Sam!
Sam! All right, take it easy!
Mac!
[grunts]
Sam! Sam, the rope!
Mac!
No!
Mac!
Mac, please don’t die.
Mac, don’t die!
[crying]
You gotta live.
[Rick] Come on, Sam!
Grab the rope! Come on!
Come on, Sam!
You need both hands!
Come on, Sam! You can do it!
You’re gonna have to leave him!
-Leave the bird! -No!
Let go of the bird! Come on!
You can do it, Sam!
[crying] I’m sorry.
You can do it, Sam! I know you can do it! Pull!
Sam! Sam!
Pull! Come on!
Pull, Sam!
[yelps]
Sam! Sam!
[yells]
[gasping]
Thank you.
[laughs] Thank you, God.
-Thank you. -[crying]
Dad, I’m so sorry.
I don’t hate home. I really don’t.
I’m sorry.
So am I, mate. So am I.
Aw, I’m sorry, too.
[Mac groaning]
-Mac! -Sam.
Sam!
Sam.
Mac! Mac!
-You’re alive! -I am?
Oh, good. [groaning]
Mac.
Mac.
Dad, he’s alive!
Yes, I am alive...
apparently.
[laughs]
-[Beth] Sam! -Mum!
-[Grandpa] Sam! -Grandpa!
-[Grandpa] Oh, thank God. -[squawks]
-Are you okay? -Yes.
Ohh!
-[laughs] -Hey, Mac.
Hey.
[Grandpa laughs]
Sorry, Dr. Hagen.
Finders keepers. Losers weepers.
-[groans] -[squawks]
[squawks]
[groans]
[Beth] Yes! Ha ha!
[Sam laughs]
[both laughing]
-Oh, rest home, huh? -[laughing]
Great tackle.
You were right. I’d forgotten how to have fun.
-That was fun! -Yay!
Can we go home now, huh?
Do I still have one?
Aw, Dad, I-I was wrong about everything.
You’re not crazy.
You’ve just never grown old.
You mean it?
-We can help out. -Ah.
Doesn’t matter anymore, Grandpa.
-[squawks] -You’re rich.
Oh, my God.
This-- Take back everything I ever said.
About giving up when things got tough?
Yeah.
[squawks]
It’s all for you, Grandpa.
-I don’t want it. -[Mac warbles]
You’re kidding, aren’t you?
That belongs to other people.
To us, it just means money.
To them...
it’s their history.
What do you wanna do with it?
[squawks]
It’s your decision, Sam. You found it.
[warbles]
[squawks]
[laughs]
[squawks]
[South American folk music playing]
[cameras snapping]
[folk music fades]
♪ You can spend all your life ♪
♪ Hunting treasure ♪
♪ Digging holes On an empty beach ♪
♪ Though you sail far away ♪
-[blows] -♪ You’ll discover one day ♪
♪ It was there Within your reach ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ But the world offers Thousands of treasures... ♪
I want to thank you. Thank you very much.
♪ If you open Your eyes to them ♪
-[cheering] -♪ See the round yellow moon? ♪
♪ That’s a pirate’s doubloon... ♪
We’ve got to get him home
before his head’s too big for the plane.
-Oh. -♪ ...a fiery gem ♪
♪ And there’s A treasure in you... ♪
Congratulations. [laughs]
♪ A golden treasure in you ♪
Home sounds pretty good to me.
-[squawks] -How ’bout it, partner?
Grandpa...
I’m not going back.
What?
♪ Shine through ♪
♪ The treasure in you ♪
[Rick laughs]
Grandpa, you okay?
I’m staying here, Sam.
What?!
This is where I belong.
I want to end up here.
I-I understand.
We should all end up where we belong.
It’s not always easy.
So long, bird.
You did yourself proud, Sam.
Stay strong, huh?
[warbles]
I’ll miss you, Mac.
Hey, this isn’t an ending.
I’ll see you again in the next life.
Well, maybe I’ll come back as a macaw.
Aw, boy, you as a macaw?
-Now that, I’ve gotta see. -To the wonder of life, eh?
-The wonder of life. -The wonder of life.
♪ And there’s A treasure in you ♪
♪ A golden treasure in you ♪
♪ Unlock your heart ♪
♪ And let your love Shine through ♪
-[squawks] I’m home! -♪ Shine through ♪
- Madre de Dios! -What?
-Mac, is that you? -Mom!
-Is it really you? -Yeah, it’s me.
Where have you been?! You naughty little boy!
-Oh, uh, well... -I’ve been waiting here
-for 150 years, I tell you. -Well, it’s a long story.
Ten minutes, you said! Ten minutes!
-It started with a pirate... -Pirates?!
with a little thing on his ring finger.
Pirates this, and pirates that! What is wrong with you?!
Hey, come back! I haven’t finished yet!
-Mac, come back! -Grandpa!
-Come back here! -Sam, wait!
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
[Mac squawks]
Party, party, party!
Aw, the Mac is back!
Oh, we are gonna go down as one of the great teams of all time,
right up there with Batman and Robin.
Oh! Oh, and Beavis and Butt-head.
Oh, yeah.
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You even worry my pet ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac] Don’t freak. Leave it to the beak.
♪ You talk about people That you don’t know ♪
♪ You talk about people wherever you go ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac] Yeah, so kiss my claw.
♪ You talk about people That you never seen ♪
♪ You talk about people You can make me scream ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac grumbles]
But being a bird has its upside.
We get to make fun of you idiots.
All we have to do is say, "Hello, Polly,"
to one of you humans-- [chuckles]
and you say it back to us for an hour.
You’re complete morons.
[chuckles]
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You worry me to death ♪
♪ You talk too much ♪
♪ You even worry my pet ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac] Hey, bozo,
-blow it out your--[squawks] -♪ You talk about people ♪
♪ That you don’t know ♪
♪ You talk about people Wherever you go ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
♪ You talk about people That you’ve never seen ♪
♪ You talk about people You can make me scream ♪
♪ You just talk ♪
♪ Talk too much ♪
[Mac] Ow! Rock and roll.
[Mac squawks] That’s all we have time for, folks.
You’re a bunch of morons, and I mean that in a good way.
[squawks] Next stop, Vegas.
Will you quit repeating everything I say?
I’m the parrot. [grumbles]