The Nitwits (1935) - full transcript

[MORSE CODE BEEPING]

[PIANO PLAYS]

♪ I'M NOT THE SAME AT ALL
AND I CAN BLAME IT ALL ♪

♪ I THOUGHT THAT
LOVE WAS A LARK ♪

♪ THERE'S SOMETHING
STRANGE IN ME ♪

♪ THE SUDDEN
CHANGE IN ME ♪

♪ I WALK AROUND
IN THE DARK ♪

♪ SUDDENLY I
FOUND A STAR ♪

♪ YOU'VE OPENED
MY EYES ♪

♪ YOU MADE ME
SEE THE LIGHT ♪

♪ THE BEAUTY
OF THE NIGHT ♪



♪ YOU'VE OPENED
MY EYES ♪

♪ YOU TAUGHT ME
TO SEE ♪

♪ THE SUNNY SIDE
OF THINGS ♪

♪ THE HEART
WITHIN ME SINGS ♪

♪ YOU BROUGHT
THIS TO ME ♪

♪ I USED TO THINK THAT LOVE
WAS FANCY AND IMPASSIVE ♪

LOOKS LIKE A HIT
TO ME, MARTIN.

WIRE
ALL THE OFFICES.

DROP EVERYTHING
AND PLUG "YOU OPENED
MY EYES."

SEE THAT
IT'S FEATURED

ON EVERY IMPORTANT
RADIO PROGRAM.

GET A PUBLICITY
TIE-UP WITH
ALL DEPARTMENT

AND MUSIC STORES.

THAT'S ALL.



♪ YOU OPENED
MY EYES ♪

♪ I WAKEN
FROM A TRANCE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE IN
EVERY GLANCE ♪

Man: ♪ YOU'RE ALWAYS
THERE BEFORE ME ♪

♪ YOU'VE OPENED MY EYES ♪

YOU KNOW, MARY'S
THE ONLY GIRL WHO
EVER OPENED MY EYES.

WHEN I GET FINISHED
WITH THIS INVENTION,
IT'LL OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

IT'S THE GREATEST IDEA
I'VE EVER HAD, AND, BOY,

YOU KNOW I'VE HAD
A LOT OF THEM.

YEAH, BUT NONE
OF THEM EVER WORKED.

A MERE COINCIDENCE.

[MACHINE BUZZES]

IT WORKS!
IT WORKS!

YEAH, BUT HOW YOU EVER
GONNA GET A MOUSE
TO RUN WAY UP THERE?

LISTEN, NITWIT, IT'S NOT
A MOUSETRAP; IT'S A MAN TRAP.

FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU COMMITTED
A CRIME AND LIED ABOUT IT,

THAT MACHINE WOULD
MAKE YOU TELL THE TRUTH.

IN OTHER WORDS, IT'LL MAKE YOU
SAY THE FIRST THING

THAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD.

NOW FOR
THE GREAT EXPERIMENT.

UM--NOW, WAIT--YOU KNOW,
I DON'T LIKE THIS.

IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
ALL I DO IS
THROW ON THE SWITCH,

AND YOU SAY
THE FIRST THING
THAT ENTERS YOUR HEAD.

SUPPOSING I
GET A SHOCK?

HA! IF THERE'S ANYTHING
IN THAT HEAD OF YOURS,
I'LL GET THE SHOCK.

NOW TO SEE
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND.

[MACHINE BUZZES]

GAH! I LOVE MARY!

I LOVE MARY!

I LOVE MARY!

MY BOY, WE'RE MADE.
IT WORKS.

AH!

IT'S EASY FOR THAT THING TO
MAKE ME SAY WHAT'S ON MY MIND,

BECAUSE MARY'S ALL
I'M EVER THINKING OF.

THE MACHINE IS
NEVER WRONG,
POSITIVELY NEVER WRONG.

GOOD MORNING, MARY.

GOOD MORNING, MR. LAKE.

ANYTHING IMPORTANT
IN THE MAIL?

THE PRESS AND PRODUCTIONS
ARE COMPLAINING

BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T RECEIVED
THE MURDER SONG THEY ORDERED
FOR THEIR NEW SHOW.

WITH 4,000
DAFFY SONGWRITERS
ON MY HEELS ALL DAY,

I CAN'T GET A SPECIAL
SONG WHEN I WANT IT!

CALL MISS WATSON.

HELLO?

Mary: PLEASE DON'T DO THAT.

HOW DO YOU DO,
MRS. LAKE?

GOOD MORNING.

UH, THAT'S ALL,
MISS ROBERTS.

WHY, WHAT'S
THE MATTER, ALICE?
YOU SEEM UPSET.

THERE'S A REASON, WINNY;
I'M TERRIBLY UPSET.

LOOK. ANOTHER ONE.

IT CAME THIS MORNING--
THAT'S THE FOURTH ONE.

THIS BUSINESS IS
GETTING ON MY NERVES.

WELL, I'M GETTING
PANICKY, WINNY.

WE'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

I THINK YOU'D BETTER
GIVE THEM THE MONEY.

WHY SHOULD THE BLACK
WIDOW PICK ON ME?

ANYWAY, IT'S PROBABLY
SOME DOPE'S IDEA
OF A JOKE...

AND IF IT ISN'T,
I'D BE FOOLISH
TO NOTIFY THE POLICE.

NO, NO, NO, WE--
WE'VE JUST GOT
TO WAIT DEVELOPMENTS.

WHILE WE'RE WAITING,
THESE NOTES CONTINUE.

WE'RE GOING TO ENGAGE
A PRIVATE DETECTIVE.

WELL, THAT'S
ALL RIGHT...ANYONE
BUT WILLIAM DARRELL.

HE DID A FINE JOB WITH
THAT CLEVELAND CASE FOR YOU.

WELL, I'M NOT
QUESTIONING THAT--

HE'S A GREAT DETECTIVE,
THE BEST--

BUT I CAN'T AFFORD
TO PAY A RETAINER
LIKE THAT AGAIN.

THIS IS NO TIME
TO THINK OF MONEY.

WE'RE GOING TO DARRELL.
HE'LL GIVE YOU REAL PROTECTION,

THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT
MATTERS AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

WELL, IF IT'LL EASE
YOUR MIND, DEAR, I'LL--

I'LL CALL HIM AND MAKE
AN APPOINTMENT.

[RATTLING]

[RATTLING]

BOSS, COULD I BOTHER YOU
FOR A PACKAGE OF SNUFF?

SNUFF? CERTAINLY.

WHAT KIND OF SNUFF YOU WANT,
THE LEFT-HANDED OR
THE RIGHT-HANDED KIND?

I WANT
THE SNIFFING KIND.

HEH HEH!
"SNIFFING KIND"--
THAT'S GOOD.

WHOO!
MISSISSIPPI MARBLES.

BOSS, WHAT'S THE OBJECT
OF THIS GAME?

THE IDEA OF THIS LITTLE GAME
IS THAT YOU SELECT A NUMBER.

NOW, YOU TAKE A NUMBER.

I'LL TAKE 23.

OH, YOU GOT TWO NUMBERS.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE ONE AT A TIME.

WILL YOU TAKE ACES?

OH, NO. THEM SNAKE EYES.

I'LL TAKE 5s.

FIVES YOU GOT.

[DICE RATTLE]

WHOO! LOOK AT THE 5s.

YOU LOOK AT THEM.
I'M SICK.

OH.

[DICE RATTLE]

THERE'S ONE 2 IN THERE!

HEH HEH! YEAH, I WONDER
HOW THAT HAPPENED.

I DON'T KNOW.

JOHNNY?

HEH! MARY!

LISTEN, HONEY, MR. LAKE
IS IN AN AWFUL SPOT.

HE NEEDS A MURDER SONG.

SO FAR, NO ONE HAS TURNED IN
A SUITABLE IDEA,

AND THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
TO WRITE ONE FOR HIM!

IT'S THE CHANCE
OF A LIFETIME.

I'LL WRITE IT...

AND WHAT'S MORE,
I'LL SELL IT TO LAKE.

I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT,
JOHNNY!

I MUST RUN ALONG NOW
BEFORE MR. LAKE MISSES ME.

OH, WAIT A MINUTE.

HOW ABOUT TAKING
ONE PUNCH FOR OUR
WEDDING RING, HUH?

ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, MARY,
EVERY TIME I THINK

OF YOU WORKING
FOR THAT GUY LAKE,

IT JUST MAKES
MY BLOOD BOIL.

NOW, REMEMBER, JOHNNY, YOU MAY
HAVE TO SELL THAT SONG TO HIM.

WELL, I GUESS
IT'S NOT OUR LUCKY DAY.

Man: ♪ MOST
EVERYBODY
LIKES MUSIC ♪

♪ SONGS ARE
THE LANGUAGE
OF LOVE ♪

[JOHNNY WHISTLES]

♪ SOMETHING TELLS ME
THAT I'M FALLING ♪

♪ HERE'S WHAT I'VE
GOT PLENTY OF ♪

♪ MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

[PIANO PLAYS]

♪ FROM
THE VERY START ♪

[PIANO PLAYS]

♪ YOU STRUCK A NOTE
THAT WROTE ♪

♪ THE MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

♪ LIFE
BECAME A SONG ♪

♪ WHEN YOU
CAME ALONG ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE WORDS
THAT FIT ♪

♪ THE MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

[BELLS RING]

♪ WEDDING BELLS
ARE PLAYING ♪

♪ I HEAR THEM,
DON'T YOU? ♪

♪ SEEMS TO ME
THEY'RE SAYING ♪

♪ I LOVE YOU,
I DO ♪

♪ MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

♪ IF WE
EVER PART ♪

♪ I'D GET
THE BLUES
AND LOSE ♪

♪ THE MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

♪ MUSIC IN MY HEART,
LA-DA-DA-DA-DA ♪

♪ FROM THE VERY START,
LA-DA-DA-DA ♪

♪ YOU STRUCK A NOTE
THAT WROTE ♪

♪ THE MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

♪ LIFE BECAME A SONG,
LA-DA-DA-DA-DA ♪

♪ WHEN YOU CAME ALONG,
LA-DA-DA-DA ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE WORDS
THAT FIT ♪

♪ THE MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

♪ WEDDING BELLS
ARE PLAYING ♪

♪ I HEAR THEM,
DON'T YOU? ♪

♪ SEEMS TO ME
THEY'RE SAYIN' ♪

♪ I LOVE YOU,
I DO ♪

♪ MUSIC IN MY HEART,
LA-DA-DA-DA-DA ♪

♪ IF WE EVER PART,
LA-DA-DA-DA ♪

Both: ♪ I'D GET THE BLUES
AND LOSE ♪

♪ THE MUSIC IN MY HEART

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC ENDS]

WAIT A MINUTE.

GAME CALLED
ON ACCOUNT OF DARKNESS.

OH.

THAT DIDN'T
TAKE ME LONG, DID IT?

BOY, YOU MUST'VE DRUNK
RIGHT OUT OF THE BOTTLE.

YOU KNOW WHAT
MARY SAID?

SHE SAID THAT WE SHOULD
WRITE A SONG ABOUT A MURDER.

YOU MUST'VE DRUNK
THE BOTTLE, TOO.

NO, I--I'M NOT KIDDING!

LAKE IS IN THE MARKET
FOR A MURDER SONG.

YEAH? OH, WELL, THEN
JUST LEAVE IT TO ME.

NOW, THE FIRST THING
WE GOT TO DO IS TO
GET A TITLE.

HOW'S THIS: "ALWAYS BE
GOOD TO YOUR MURDER"?

NO, THAT'S NO GOOD.

HOW ABOUT "I'LL KILL HIM
WITH KINDNESS"?

NO, NO, THAT'S NOT
BRUTAL ENOUGH.

Paperboy: EXTREE! READ ALL
ABOUT THE BLACK WIDOW!

CITIZENS THREATENED
WITH MURDER! EXTREE!

THERE'S YOUR IDEA
FOR A SONG!

YES, AND IT'S TOPICAL, TOO!

I'LL GIVE YOU A TITLE
FOR IT RIGHT NOW:

"BLACK WIDOW,
I LOVE YA."

NO, THAT'S TOO ROMANTIC.

WE'VE GOT TO GET SOMETHING,
YOU KNOW, A LITTLE
MORE MYSTERIOUS.

OH, HOW'S THIS:

"THE BLACK WIDOW'S
GONNA GETCHA IF YOU
DON'T WATCH OUT"?

Man: THE BLACK WIDOW
DONE GOT ME.

SAY, WHAT'S HE DOING
WITH OUR STUFF?

"OUR STUFF"?
YOU MEAN
"HIS STUFF."

HE WON IT ON
THE DICE GAME.

BOY, I NEVER SAW
SO MANY 5s IN
ALL OF MY LIFE.

HOW'D HE DO IT?

THAT'S WHAT I'D
LIKE TO KNOW.

[MACHINE BUZZES]

I CHEATED THE DICE!

I CHEATED THE DICE!

I CHEATED THE DICE!

OHH! OHH!

LET HIM GO!

WE MAY GET A SET
OF GOLF CLUBS.

OHH!

MR. DARRELL,
I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN
HOW WELL YOU HANDLED

THAT CLEVELAND CASE
FOR ME--THAT'S
THE REASON I CALLED YOU.

I WANT YOUR ADVICE
AND PROTECTION.

I'M GLAD YOU DID.

THIS, TO ME, IS
QUITE GENUINE AND
EQUALLY SERIOUS.

THERE'S A DANGEROUS
MANIAC LOOSE
IN TOWN,

AND NOBODY
IS SAFE UNTIL
HE'S APPREHENDED.

YOU SEE, WINFIELD?
IT WASN'T A HOAX.

YOU WILL TAKE THE CASE,
WON'T YOU, MR. DARRELL?

I SHOULD BE
VERY GLAD TO ASSIGN

ONE OF MY BEST
OPERATIVES

TO ACCOMPANY
MR. LAKE
WHEREVER HE GOES.

NO, NO, NO, I DON'T WANT
ANY UNDERLING

TO WATCH OUT FOR
MY LIFE; I WANT YOU.

I HAVE A LARGE
ORGANIZATION,
MR. LAKE.

I'M SORRY, BUT MY
PRESENCE IS REQUIRED

HERE IN AN
EXECUTIVE CAPACITY.

WE DON'T CARE WHAT
YOUR PRICE IS, JUST SO LONG
AS YOU GUARD MR. LAKE.

YOU MAKE A SLIGHT
TACTICAL ERROR IN
SUGGESTING THAT I--

WELL, THAT I ACT
AS MR. LAKE'S
BODYGUARD.

BUT THIS IS A VERY
SERIOUS SITUATION,

AND I SHOULDN'T
FEEL SAFE UNLESS
YOU WERE WITH ME

UNTIL THIS THING
CLEARED UP.

BESIDES, I'M
WILLING TO PAY--

YOUR SECOND ERROR
IS IN YOUR APPROACH.

NOW, IF YOU CAME
TO ME AS A SPORTSMAN
AND ASKED ME

TO INDULGE IN MY
FAVORITE PASTIME,

HUNTING
AND TRAPPING,

THEN I MIGHT
BE INTERESTED.

THEN YOU WILL
HELP ME?

I WILL, MR. LAKE.

THANK YOU. WE'LL BE
REALLY GRATEFUL.

[SNAP]

OUCH! OW!

HEH. HELLO, MARY!

I'M SORRY, JOHNNY.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL IT.

ANY LUCK?

NOPE. I JUST CAN'T SEEM
TO WIN THAT RING.

OH, I MEAN ABOUT WRITING
THAT MURDER SONG.

OH, YEAH, I STAYED UP
AND WROTE IT LAST NIGHT.

NEWT'S HOME NOW PUTTING ON
SOME FINISHING TOUCHES.

OH, I HOPE IT'S
THE BIGGEST HIT
EVER WRITTEN!

IF IT IS, WE'RE
GONNA GET MARRIED.

AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE
OUR OWN LITTLE HOME

AND, UH, OUR OWN
LITTLE CAR

AND, UH, OUR OWN
LITTLE CHILDREN.

LET'S PUNCH
FOR THE RING.

950. YOU WIN SOMETHING,
ALL RIGHT.

HEH!

LOOK. IT'S A REVOLVER.

I DON'T WANT A REVOLVER;
I'M SCARED TO DEATH
OF THEM!

THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE AFRAID OF.
LOOK. IT'S EMPTY.

IT'S ALWAYS THE EMPTY
ONE THAT KILLS SOMEONE.

HERE COMES LAKE.

UH-OH! I'M LATE!

BYE.

HERE, TAKE THIS!
IT'S YOUR SONG!

NOW'S THE CHANCE
TO SELL IT TO LAKE!

I CAN'T. I FEEL LIKE
I GOT 3 TONGUES.

WELL, SING WITH
THE MIDDLE ONE.

I DON'T KNOW
WHICH IS WHICH.

GIVE ME THAT THING!
I'LL SELL IT
TO HIM...

AND I'LL PUT SOME
FEELING IN IT, TOO!

OH, MR. LAKE?

I HAVE SOMETHING
FOR YOU:

"THE BLACK WIDOW'S
GOING TO GETCHA."

"THE BLACK WIDOW'S
GOING TO GETCHA

IF YOU DON'T
WATCH OUT."

"THE BLACK WIDOW'S
GOING TO GETCHA...

IF YOU DON'T
WATCH OUT."

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN
ABOUT THE BLACK WIDOW!

LISTEN.
♪ ME-ME-ME-ME

[MUSIC PLAYS]

AT NIGHT WHEN
YOU ARE SLEEPING,

IN YOUR ROOM
SHE COMES
A-CREEPING.

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

FIRST, YOU GET
A WARNING, A SCARY
LITTLE NOTE,

AND THEN YOU GET
A CHOKING, A CHOKING
IN YOUR THROAT.

YOU FIGHT AND THEN
YOU STRUGGLE

FOR HOURS AND HOURS
AND HOURS...

♪ NEXT DAY,
YOUR FRIENDS
ALL SEND FLOWERS ♪

♪ I DON'T MIND
THE BLACK WIDOW ♪

♪ FRIEND,
I'M NOT SCARED ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA
BURY HIM ♪

♪ WHERE WE FIND
HIS HEAD ♪

IF YOU'RE YOUNG
OR OLD OR HANDSOME,

YOU HAD BETTER
PAY THE RANSOM...

♪ 'CAUSE THE WIDOW'S
GOIN' TO GETCHA ♪

♪ IF YOU DON'T
WATCH OUT ♪

♪ WHAT I MEAN IS

♪ THE WIDOW'S
GONNA GET YOU ♪

♪ IF YOU DON'T
WATCH OUT ♪♪

[MUSIC ENDS]

DARRELL, WHY DON'T YOU
DO SOMETHING?

DON'T YOU
GET IT,
MR. LAKE?

HE'S SELLING YOU
A SONG...

"PLUGGING,"
I BELIEVE
YOU CALL IT.

OH. SO THAT'S
WHAT IT IS?

I'VE GOT AN OFFICE
FOR THOSE THINGS.

YOU'VE GOT MORE GALL
THAN ANY MAN I EVER MET,

AND IF YOU EVER TRY
A THING LIKE THAT AGAIN,

I'LL HAVE YOU THROWN
OUT OF THE BUILDING!

DO YOU GET ME?!

I GUESS HE DOESN'T CRAVE
THE BLACK WIDOW.

YEAH, HE WALKED OUT
ON US.

REMIND ME TO HATE HIM,
WILL YOU?

FOR A MOMENT, THOSE
TWO BOYS HAD ME WORRIED.

WELL, WHEN YOU'RE DEALING WITH
ASPIRING SONGWRITERS,
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

NOW, THIS IS THE HOME OFFICE
AND HEADQUARTERS.

YOU OCCUPY
THE ENTIRE BUILDING?

OH, NO. UPSTAIRS IS
A COSTUME RENTAL COMPANY.

OH, AND BY THE WAY, IF ANYONE
QUESTIONS YOUR PRESENCE HERE...

YEAH--I'M A SONGWRITER.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH
FOR ME.

MAKE YOURSELF
AT HOME, DARRELL.

GOOD MORNING.

OH. COME IN, CLARK.

WHAT'S HIS IDEA OF PULLING
THAT "GOOD MORNING" LINE?

I USED THAT IN A SONG
TWO YEARS AGO.

HE STOLE THAT
FROM ME.

LOOK HERE, LAKE.

I'VE BEEN CHECKING UP AND I'M
GETTING CHEATED AROUND HERE.

THE TRADE PAPERS SAY THAT
MY SONG'S LEADING THE COUNTRY.

WELL, I'M PAYING OFF
ON MY BOOKS,
NOT ON YOUR CHECKUP!

WELL, BOOKS CAN BE WRONG
ACCIDENTALLY OR ON PURPOSE,

AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA
GET AWAY WITH THIS!

I'VE BEEN THREATENED BY
MORE IMPORTANT PEOPLE
THAN YOU ARE.

LURCH, COME IN HERE!

YES, SIR.

Mr. Lake: AND BRING THE COMPLETE
FOLDER ON "YOU OPENED MY EYES"!

YES, SIR.

HERE YOU ARE, HAL.

I'LL TAKE IT DOWN
TO JOHNNY.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S GOING TO HIM?

OH, I ALWAYS KNOW WHERE
TO TAKE YOUR NOTES WHEN
YOU WRITE WITH A SMILE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY A SONG
WHICH IS SWEEPING THE COUNTRY

SHOWS A SALE OF
ONLY 15,000 COPIES.

WELL, THE, UH,
THE PACIFIC COAST
HASN'T REPORTED YET.

YES, THIS
MIGHT BE A
CLERICAL ERROR.

LURCH, UNLESS
YOU FIND OUT

WHERE THAT
SLIP-UP IS,

I'M GOING TO
CALL IN OUTSIDE
AUDITORS.

THAT'S ALL.

YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE
PUTTING ON AN ACT...

BUT I'M GONNA GET
WHAT'S COMING TO ME,

OR SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET
WHAT'S COMING TO HIM!

GOOD DAY.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?
"GOOD DAY."

HE SWITCHED MY
"GOOD MORNING" LINE.

MR. LAKE WILL
SEE YOU NOW.

THANKS.
THANKS VERY MUCH.

NOW, LOOK HERE, HAZEL.

I'VE WASTED A LOT
OF TIME WITH YOU,

AND I'M VERY BUSY.

POSSIBLY YOU NEED
AN ASSISTANT...

I DO EXECUTIVE WORK, TOO.

I CAN ONLY TELL YOU WHAT
I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY
AND EVERY DAY BEFORE:

THERE IS A MARKET FOR
A COMEDY SONG LIKE "YES!
WE HAVE NO BANANAS."

I HAVE IT. I WROTE
A SONG ON THAT ORDER.

WHAT'S YOUR TITLE?

"YES! WE HAVE NO ORANGES."

WELL, LET ME HEAR
YOUR FIRST CHORUS.

YES, WE HAVE NO ORANGES...

COME ON! LET ME HAVE
THE REST OF IT!

THAT'S AS FAR AS I GOT.

I--I CAN'T FIND A WORD
TO RHYME WITH "ORANGES."

NOW, LISTEN.
YOU GET OUT OF HERE
AND DON'T COME BACK.

HERE'S A NOTE
FOR YOU, JOHNNY.

THANKS, HAL.

I'M GOING UPSTAIRS
TO SEE MARY.

WHEN YOU SEE HER, TELL HER
YOU SAW ME WHEN YOU SEE HER.

WHAT?

WHEN I SEE HER, I'LL TELL HER
I SAW YOU WHEN I SEE ME.

WHEN YOU SEE ME, YOU TELL ME
I SAW YOU WHEN I SEE ME.

WHEN I SEE HER, YOU TELL ME
I SAW YOU WHEN I SEE HER!

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

WHEN I SEE ME, I'LL TELL HER
I SAW YOU WHEN I SEE ME.

WHAT KIND OF
LANGUAGE IS THAT?

WHERE YOU GOING
WHEN YOU LEAVE HERE?

I'M GOING UPSTAIRS.

WHO YOU GONNA SEE?
MARY.

WHO YOU LOOKING AT NOW?
YOU.

WELL, TELL HER THAT!

I'M GONNA KILL
TWO BIRDS
WITH ONE STONE.

WHOA-OH!

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

HEY, WAIT
A MINUTE!

HEY!

I'M AWFULLY SORRY, OLD CHAP.
IT WAS CARELESS OF ME.

HEY, HELP ME GET OUT OF
THIS THING, WILL YOU?

THERE'S A MURDER
ABOUT TO BE COMMITTED
AND I'VE GOT TO STOP IT!

A MURDER?
YES, A MURDER!

AND WHY DON'T YOU
REMEMBER YOU'RE
A MARRIED MAN?

AND IF I WEREN'T, WOULD IT
MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE?

GET YOUR HAT
AND COAT ON, MARY.

YOU'RE THROUGH WORKING FOR
THIS GUY. MEET ME DOWNSTAIRS.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, SON.

YOU KNOW WHAT I
OUGHT TO DO TO YOU?

YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT YOUR SONG.

I THINK IT'S GREAT.

BOY, I COULD GIVE YOU--

YOU'VE GOT ME ALL WRONG!

OH, I HAVEN'T
GOTTEN YOU ALL WRONG.

DO YOU THINK FOR A MINUTE
THAT YOU CAN BRIBE ME BY
TRYING TO BUY MY SONG?

MARY'S THROUGH WORKING
FOR YOU OR ANYBODY LIKE IT...

AND I WOULDN'T SELL YOU
MY SONG IF YOU WERE
THE LAST PUBLISHER IN TOWN!

AND ANOTHER THING: YOU CAN
BUY YOUR CIGARS SOMEWHERE ELSE!

[BUZZER RINGS CONTINUOUSLY]

I--

WHOA-OH!

[BUZZER RINGS CONTINUOUSLY]

[CRASH]

[BUZZER RINGS CONTINUOUSLY]

OH, HOW DO YOU DO,
MRS. LAKE?

HOW DO YOU DO, MR. DARRELL?

IT GIVES ME A GREAT DEAL
OF COMFORT TO SEE YOU'RE
WATCHING OUT FOR MY HUSBAND.

WELL, I APPRECIATE
YOUR CONFIDENCE IN ME,

AND I PROMISE TO DO
EVERYTHING IN MY POWER

TO SEE THAT
NO HARM COMES TO HIM.

OPERATOR? GIVE ME
THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.

MY DEAR SIR,
I AM SO SORRY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

HAS MISS ROBERTS
COME DOWN YET?

NO, SIR.

DID YOU DO THAT
TO LAKE?

I CERTAINLY DID.
HE HAD IT COMING TO HIM.

I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT
FOR A LONG TIME!

DID ANYBODY
SEE YOU DO IT?

ONLY MARY.

I FIXED THAT GUY SO HE
WON'T BOTHER HER ANYMORE!

SHH!

YOU CERTAINLY DID,
BUT I'LL STICK
WITH YOU, PAL.

THE COPS
WILL NEVER GETCHA.

I'D JUST LOVE
TO SEE THE POLICE
TRY TO TAKE YOU.

NOW, THAT'S WHAT
I CALL SERVICE.

HERE. TAKE HIM
UPSTAIRS! QUICK!

WHAT'S THE IDEA?

HEY, WHAT FLOOR
IS WINFIELD LAKE ON?

LAKE? LAKE?

WHY, WE HAVEN'T
HAD A LAKE
IN THIS BUILDING

SINCE THEY
FIXED THE ROOF.

LAKE IS THE HEAD OF
THE PUBLISHING COMPANY!

COME ON,
YOU MUST KNOW HIM!

OH, YOU MEAN THE
BIG FELLA WITH A
BIG, ROUND FACE?

YEAH.

GRAY HAIR,
A LITTLE
MOUSTACHE?

THAT'S RIGHT.

BROWN SUIT AND
A TAN OVERCOAT?

RIGHT.

DRIVES A BIG
LINCOLN CAR?

THAT'S THE FELLA.

NO, I DON'T
KNOW HIM.

LAKE PUBLISHING COMPANY
ON THE FIFTH FLOOR.

RIGHT.

HEH. YOU CAN'T
GO UPSTAIRS;

THE ELEVATOR'S
OUT OF ORDER.

COME ON, BOYS.

Johnny:
SAY, LISTEN--

Newt: GET BACK--
HA HA!

AHEM.
THEY FIXED IT.

SAY, WHAT'S THE
IDEA OF SENDING
ME UPSTAIRS?

THE ELEVATOR'S
OUT OF ORDER, HUH?

RILEY, KEEP YOUR EYE
ON HIM. STAY HERE.

COME ON, BOYS.

WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?

I THOUGHT I WAS
GOING OUT, BUT
I GUESS I'M NOT.

YEAH.

[POCKET WATCH RINGS]

[RINGING STOPS]

WELL, LET'S
SEE THAT.

[POCKET WATCH RINGS, STOPS]

[POCKET WATCH RINGS]

THAT'S QUITE
A NOVELTY.

[BUZZER RINGS CONTINUOUSLY]

[DOORKNOB TURNS]

HELLO, DARRELL.

HELLO, JENNINGS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

DEATH INVESTIGATION.

YEAH? WHO'S
THE DECEASED?

WINFIELD LAKE
HAS BEEN MURDERED.

OH, OH, MY HUSBAND!

LAKE MURDERED?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HOW?

WELL, SEEING AS YOU'RE
HERE, DARRELL, I THOUGHT
MAYBE YOU COULD TELL ME.

WELL, WHERE IS HE?

HE'S IN THERE.

STAY HERE.
COME ON, BOYS.

WELL, IT'S A CASE FOR
THE CORONER, ALL RIGHT.

HE'S ON HIS WAY.

WHO CALLED THE POLICE?

I DID, SIR.

DID YOU
FIND THE BODY?

YES, SIR.

HOW'D YOU HAPPEN
TO DISCOVER
MR. LAKE?

WHY, THE BUZZER FROM
HIS OFFICE WAS RINGING.

I DIDN'T SEE HIS SECRETARY,
SO I TOOK THE CALL.

Darrell: JENNINGS,
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?

A BLACK WIDOW, EH?

LAKE RECEIVED AND IGNORED
SOME THREATENING MESSAGES
FROM THE BLACK WIDOW.

HE SHOWED ME ONE IN MY OFFICE
YESTERDAY WHEN HE ENGAGED ME.

SO THE BLACK WIDOW
FINALLY STRUCK, HUH?

[WHISPERING]
I'M GOING TO FAINT.

[GROANING]

OOH! LOOK!
HE'S FAINTED!

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
STANDING THERE FOR?!
WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING?!

THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
OFFICER. DON'T MIND ME.

I'M SUBJECT TO THESE
FAINTING SPELLS.

WERE YOU TRYING TO PULL
A FAST ONE ON ME?

WHO? ME?

WILL YOU
GET OUT OF HERE?

YEAH,
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!

NO. I'M NOT
GONNA LEAVE MY PAL.

IF HE STAYS, I STAY.

JOHNNY, YOU'VE GOT THE BRAIN
OF A 6-YEAR-OLD BOY...

AND I'LL BET EVEN HE
WAS GLAD TO GET RID OF IT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

OH, MY HUSBAND!
MY HUSBAND!

[MRS. LAKE CRIES]

TAKE IT EASY,
MRS. LAKE.

WAIT HERE.
COME ON.

JENNINGS,
IT'S QUITE POSSIBLE
THAT SOMEBODY

KNOWING ABOUT
THE BLACK WIDOW'S
THREAT TO LAKE

USED THIS MEANS
OF KILLING HIM
AS A COVER-UP.

YEAH, THAT'S
QUITE POSSIBLE.

DID YOU HEAR ANY VOICES
COMING FROM THIS OFFICE?

ANY SCUFFLING
OR LOUD NOISES?

NO, SIR.

WHAT DO YOU DO HERE,
ANYWAY?

I'M THE HEAD AUDITOR, SIR.

DO YOU KNOW OF ANY
DISPUTES OR ARGUMENTS
THAT LAKE HAD

WITH ANY DISGRUNTLED
BUSINESS ASSOCIATES?

THERE WAS A QUARREL THIS
MORNING, BUT IT WAS NOTHING.

I'LL BE
THE JUDGE OF THAT!

WHAT WAS THE QUARREL
ABOUT AND WITH WHOM?

SOME SONGWRITER ACCUSED
MR. LAKE OF NOT GIVING HIM
HIS JUST ROYALTIES.

AND THEY HAD
AN ARGUMENT, HUH?

YES, SIR.

WAS IT A VERY
STORMY SESSION?

WELL, UH--
OH, COME ON, COME ON!

WERE THERE
ANY THREATS HURLED?

YES; BY CLARK.

CLARK?
WHAT'S HIS FULL NAME?

GEORGE CLARK.

YOU KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?

I HAVE HIS ADDRESS
IN MY FILES.

GOOD. EDDIE?

GET THAT ADDRESS AND
PICK HIM UP RIGHT AWAY.

ANYBODY ELSE HERE?

JOHNNY, THE BOY
ON THE NEWSSTAND
DOWNSTAIRS.

PICK HIM UP, TOO.
WHO ELSE?

A PERSON
BY THE NAME OF HAZEL.

"HAZEL"?

OH, A HARMLESS OLD CHAP,
NOT A TROUBLEMAKER.

IN LESS TURBULENT TIMES,
HE'D HAVE AMUSED ME.

CHARLIE, ROUND HIM UP
ANYWAY.

PICK IT UP!

NO, YOU DON'T!

RUN FOR IT!
RUN FOR IT!

ANOTHER MOVE LIKE THAT AND I'M
LIABLE TO TAKE A SHOT AT YOU!

GIVE ME THAT HAND.

YOU'RE GONNA STAY RIGHT HERE
UNTIL I GET READY TO GO.

HEH. THAT SUITS ME.
MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR.

HERE'S YOUR CAP,
OFFICER.

THANKS, MY BOY!
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!

WHEW!
WAIT HERE.

RILEY, HAVE YOU SEEN THE FELLA
THAT RUNS THE CIGAR STAND?

HIS NAME IS JOHNNY.

NO, NO, NO,
HE'S NOT AROUND.
HE'S NOT AROUND.

HE MEANS ME.
I'M JOHNNY.

OH, ARE YOU
JOHNNY?

COME ON.

I'LL BE
RIGHT BACK.

YEAH...IN ABOUT
20 YEARS.

HEY, WAIT
A MINUTE!
I DID IT!

OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
YOU'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE.

MRS. LAKE, WERE YOUR
RELATIONS WITH YOUR
HUSBAND HARMONIOUS?

WHY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN--

NOW, PLEASE, MRS. LAKE.
THIS IS A POLICE
INVESTIGATION.

I'D APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU'D ANSWER
MY QUESTION.

WE LOVED EACH OTHER
DEARLY.

WHEN DID YOU
LAST SEE HIM?

IN THIS OFFICE THIS MORNING.

WAS THERE ANYONE WITH
HIM WHEN YOU CAME IN?

JUST HIS SECRETARY.

I SAW HER AS I WENT OUT
TO TALK TO MR. DARRELL.

WHERE IS THE SECRETARY?

YES, WHERE IS MY HUSBAND'S
CHARMING SECRETARY?

YOU SAY THAT
THE BUZZER WAS RINGING

WHEN YOU CAME IN
AND FOUND LAKE DEAD?

YES, SIR.

WELL, IF HE WAS DEAD,
WHO WAS RINGING
THE BUZZER?

HIS LEFT HAND
WAS RESTING ON IT.

HIS RIGHT HAND LOOKED
TO ME LIKE HE WAS
REACHING FOR THE GUN.

WHAT GUN?

WHY, THE GUN
THAT WAS THERE.

I DON'T RECALL SEEING IT
SINCE I PHONED FOR THE POLICE.

SAY, WHERE'S THAT GUN?

MY GUESS IS IF YOU FIND HIS
SECRETARY, YOU'LL FIND THE GUN.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
STOP HIM!

"OH, THERE HASN'T
BEEN NO CHANGES;

WE STILL HAVE
NO ORANGES."

SAY, WHAT IS THIS?

"THERE HASN'T BEEN NO CHANGES;
WE STILL HAVE NO O-RANGES."

SECOND VERSE...
SNAPPY, ISN'T IT?

THAT'S THE HARMLESS OLD
FELLOW I TOLD YOU ABOUT.

KEEP YOUR EYE
ON HIM.

THAT TITLE WAS USED
IN 1924.

YOU--

COME IN, MISS.

HERE'S THE GUN.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

MARY ROBERTS.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I'M--I WAS
MR. LAKE'S SECRETARY.

WHERE'D YOU GET
THIS GUN?

WHY, SHE WON IT ON MY
PUNCHBOARD THIS MORNING.

Jennings: OH, REALLY?

WELL, YOUNG LADY,
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT
TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

NOTHING.
NOPE.

THERE ISN'T VERY MUCH
YOU CAN SAY, IS THERE?

SWELL STUFF, BUDDY.
YOU PUT THE ROPE RIGHT
AROUND THAT GAL'S NECK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HEY, LET ME SEE YOU
GET OUT OF THOSE
THINGS AGAIN.

NO. I DON'T WANT TO.

OH, COME ON, PALSIE.
BE A SPORT.

UH-UH. I DON'T WANT TO.

OH, PLEASE.

WELL, LOOK, THE WAY I DO IT,
IT'S A SECRET.

SO IF YOU'LL PROMISE
NOT TO TELL...

OH, I'LL NEVER TELL.

WELL, HERE'S THE WAY
YOU DO IT.

YOU SQUEEZE THE HAND TOGETHER
WITH THE THUMB BENEATH,

AND THEN YOU PULL.

THERE YOU ARE.
IT'S EASY.

THAT LOOKS LIKE
A CINCH.

EVEN YOU COULD DO IT.
OH, CAN I?

SURE, YOU CAN DO IT!

LOOK. PUT YOUR HAND
THROUGH THERE.

[HANDCUFF CLASPS]

[HANDCUFF CLASPS]

NOW, PUT YOUR--
PUT YOUR FINGERS
RIGHT TOGETHER.

THUMB BENEATH.
THUMB BENEATH.

NOW YOU PULL.

WHY, IT DON'T WORK.
I'M STUCK.

YOU'RE STUCK?

SILLY, ISN'T IT?
I--I CAN'T
GET THEM OFF.

YOU CAN'T GET THEM OFF?
NO.

THAT'S ALL I
WANT TO KNOW.

HEY, COME BACK
WITH THAT KEY!

[CRASH]

I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE SORRY?

HEY, DON'T DO THAT!

WHAT A SERVE!
WHAT A SERVE!

UGH!

HEY, HEY!

YOU OUGHT TO BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF:

PLAYING TENNIS
IN AN OFFICE BUILDING.

NAY, MY DEAR CONSTABLE--

QUIET!

RILEY, WHAT'S THE IDEA
OF LETTING HIM
GET AWAY WITH THIS?

RILEY, STAND UP ON YOUR
FEET AND ANSWER ME.

[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]

THAT'S ALL, MRS. LAKE.
YOU CAN GO.

THANK YOU,
CAPTAIN JENNINGS.

THAT'S ALL, LURCH.

YES, SIR.

ALL RIGHT, EDDIE,
TAKE HER AWAY.

CAPTAIN?

SHE'S TAKING THE RAP FOR
THE ONE WHO DID THE KILLING:

ME, AND I'M GONNA CONFESS.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, LET HER GO.
CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S INNOCENT?

I KILLED THE OLD--
I KILLED MR. LAKE!

YOU DID WHAT?

Johnny: I KILLED LAKE!
Jennings: WHY?

Johnny: I JUST THOUGHT
HE NEEDED KILLING.

PARDON ME, STRANGER.

COULD YOU TELL ME
WHERE I CAN FIND
A POLICEMAN?

WHY? WHAT'S HAPPENED?
I JUST KILLED A MAN.

ANOTHER KILLING? WHO?

WINFIELD LAKE.

YOU KILLED WINFIELD LAKE?

YES. I--I LOST MY HEAD.

WHY, WINFIELD LAKE
WAS KILLED OVER AN HOUR AGO.

WELL, I JUST FOUND
MY HEAD.

NOW, LISTEN, YOUNG FELLA,
IF THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE,

YOU CAN GET YOURSELF INTO
AN AWFUL LOT OF TROUBLE!

DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION
TO HIM, CAPTAIN.

HE'S JUST ACTING.

YOU SAY THAT YOU KILLED
WINFIELD LAKE?

YES! I'LL TEACH HIM
TO PULL A KNIFE ON ME!

I CUT HIS EAR FROM
THROAT TO THROAT.

YOU MEAN YOU SHOT HIM
IN SELF-DEFENSE.

NO, I SHOT HIM
THROUGH THE HEART.

WINFIELD LAKE
WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD!

WELL, HIS HEART
WAS IN HIS MOUTH.

I REITERATE!
SO DO I!

I REITERATE!

CAPTAIN, ARE YOU
GONNA LET HIM
GET AWAY WITH THAT?

I REITERATED FIRST!

I'M TELLING YA I'M THE ONE
THAT KILLED HIM,

AND I SHOT HIM
WITH THAT GUN.

JENNINGS?

MAY I SEE
THAT GUN?

WELL, SURE.

I'D ALMOST BELIEVE
HIM IF HE HADN'T
OVERLOOKED

ONE VERY IMPORTANT
DETAIL:

THEY DON'T HAVE
LOADED GUNS
IN PUNCHBOARDS.

DARRELL,
YOU'RE RIGHT.

I THINK YOU'RE LYING!

WE'RE BOTH LYING:
THE MAN WAS DROWNED.

SOMEBODY MUST'VE
LOADED THAT GUN!

THAT'S A VERY CLEVER
DEDUCTION, YOUNG MAN.

SHE LOADED IT,
AND SHE KILLED LAKE.

COME ON, MISS ROBERTS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
GO ALONG WITH US.

I REMEMBER NOW!

I PLACED THE GUN
ON THAT DESK!

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU TWO,
GET OUT OF HERE.

GO ON, GET
OUT OF HERE!

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOUR
RACKET IS,

PUBLICITY
OR WHAT,

BUT IF I EVER
CATCH YOU AROUND
HERE AGAIN,

I'LL LOCK YOU UP...
AND IT WON'T BE
FOR MURDER!

YOU CAN'T ORDER US
OFF THE PREMISES!

OH, I CAN'T, EH?

NOW,
GET OUT OF HERE
AND STAY OUT!

ARE YOU GONNA LET HIM
GET AWAY WITH THAT?

I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE
WITHOUT MARY!

HEY, LISTEN, YOU.

IF YOU DON'T
GET OUT OF HERE AND
STAY OUT OF HERE,

I'M GONNA JAM
THIS THING RIGHT
DOWN YOUR THROAT!

OH, NO, YOU WON'T.

OH, YES, I WILL!

OH, NO, YOU WON'T.

OH, YES, I WILL!

I'D LIKE TO
SEE YOU DO IT.

YAA!

NO, I DIDN'T DO THAT!

OH, CHIEF, I'M SORRY.
NO, NO, I DIDN'T
MEAN THAT FOR YOU;

I MEANT IT
FOR THIS NITWIT!

OH, PLEASE DON'T.

WHAT HAPPENED?
HIT HIM ON THE BACK!

HOLD STILL, CAPTAIN!
GET HIM A GLASS
OF WATER!

HE'S CHOKING!
HE'S CHOKING!

HOLD HIM!
HOLD STILL, CAPTAIN!
WAIT A MINUTE!

COME ON, JOHNNY.
SNAP OUT OF IT.

THROW YOUR HEAD BACK
AND SMILE AT THE WORLD.

YEAH, BUT FAIR MARY
IS LOCKED UP
ALL BY HERSELF,

AND THAT CAPTAIN
JENNINGS WON'T EVEN
LET ME IN HIS OWN JAIL.

YEAH, HE'S MAD AT US,
AND I KNOW WHY.

WHY?

HE HAD TO SWALLOW THAT
TENNIS BALL TO GET IT
OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

HA HA!

BUT WITH THIS IDEA OF MINE,
YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE MARY.

HELLO, FELLA.

[DING DONG]

♪ MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

♪ LOVE'S WHAT
BRUNG ME HERE ♪

♪ FROM
THE VERY START ♪

♪ FOR EVERY KISS
A YEAR ♪

♪ YOU STRUCK A NOTE
THAT WROTE ♪

♪ THE MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

[PIANO KEYS PLAY]

♪ LIFE
BECAME A SONG ♪

♪ YEAH, BARS
THAT NEVER END ♪

♪ WHEN YOU
CAME ALONG ♪

♪ HAS SHE GOT
A FRIEND? ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE WORDS
THAT FIT ♪

♪ THE MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪

Prisoners: ♪ WEDDING BELLS
ARE PLAYING ♪

♪ I HEAR THEM,
DON'T YOU? ♪

♪ SEEMS TO ME
THEY'RE SAYING ♪

♪ I LOVE YOU,
I DO ♪

♪ MUSIC IN MY HEART,
LA-DA-DI-DI-DO ♪

♪ IF WE EVER PART,
LA-DA-DA-DA-DA ♪

♪ I'D GET THE BLUES
AND LOSE ♪

♪ THE MUSIC
IN MY HEART ♪♪

JOHNNY!
MARY!

GIVE ME A BOOST.

YOU'RE A NICE
FELLOW AND I

RECOMMEND YOU
HIGHLY.

NO, I MEAN UP.
OH.

GEE, I'M GLAD
TO SEE YOU!

MAYBE I'M NOT GLAD
TO SEE YOU.

WE'VE COME
TO RESCUE YOU.

I WISH SOMEBODY
WOULD RESCUE ME.

IT WOULDN'T DO ANY GOOD;
I'D ONLY BE ARRESTED AGAIN.

BUT YOU CAN'T
STAY IN JAIL.

JOHNNY, DO YOU KNOW WHO'S
AT THE BOTTOM OF ALL THIS?

YEAH: ME!

LISTEN, WHEN I WAS HIDING,
I SAW LURCH...

KILL LAKE?

NO. BUT HE WAS TRYING
TO GET INTO MR. LAKE'S DESK

AND SOMETHING
FRIGHTENED HIM OUT.

BUT WHAT WOULD LURCH
WANT IN LAKE'S DESK?

I DON'T KNOW. BUT IF YOU CAN
FIND OUT WHAT HE WAS AFTER...

WE'LL RUSH OVER AND
SOLVE THE MYSTERY
AND BE RIGHT BACK!

DON'T LET THE POLICE
SEE YOU.

THE POLICE DON'T
BELIEVE A WORD
WE TELL THEM.

WELL, I'M OFF.

WHOA!

HOW DO YOU DO,
MRS. LAKE?

WE'VE BEEN
EXPECTING YOU.

MR. DARRELL, I RECEIVED
ANOTHER OF THOSE NOTES

FROM THE SAME PERSON
WHO KILLED MY HUSBAND.

MRS. LAKE, YOU'RE
NOT THE ONLY ONE...

OTHERS HAVE BEEN
THREATENED.

IT DEMANDS MONEY
AND I'M GOING TO PAY.

WELL, THAT SEEMS
TO ME TO BE

THE ONLY PRACTICAL
THING TO DO.

HOWEVER,
CAPTAIN JENNINGS

WILL BE HERE
IN A SHORT TIME,

SO LET'S LEAVE
THE FINAL DECISION
UP TO HIM.

OH, HELLO THERE.

HELLO, DARRELL.

WELL, WHAT'S
ON YOUR MIND?

FRANKLY, I FIND
MYSELF IN A VERY
PECULIAR POSITION.

YEAH?

FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE,

I'VE RAISED
THE WHITE FLAG
TO A CRIMINAL.

I'VE ADVISED
MY CLIENTS TO PAY
THE EXTORTION MONEY.

WELL, THERE'S AN AWFUL LOT
OF MONEY INVOLVED--
TO SAY NOTHING OF THE LIVES--

AND THIS UNFORTUNATE MURDER
OF LAKE'S HAS CONVINCED ME

WE'RE DEALING WITH
A PRETTY DESPERATE CRIMINAL.

I SHOULD VERY MUCH
LIKE YOUR APPROVAL
OF MY ADVICE.

IT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA,
DARRELL.

HAVE ALL YOU PEOPLE
RECEIVED DEMANDS TO PUT
THE MONEY IN THE SAME PLACE?

YES.
RIGHT.

YES, IN THE BASEMENT
VENTILATOR OF
THE LAKE BUILDING

AT 12:00.

I GOTCHA.

IF THE SINISTER CRIMINAL
WILL TRY AND PICK UP
THAT MONEY HIMSELF,

AND WHEN HE DOES, HE'S GONNA
FIND IT PRETTY HARD TO GET
OUT OF THAT NEIGHBORHOOD,

BECAUSE I'LL HAVE A TRAP
AROUND THAT BUILDING EVEN
A MOUSE COULDN'T GET OUT OF.

SPLENDID.
ALL RIGHT, DARRELL.

GOOD-BYE, AND THANK YOU
FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

VICK, YOU STAY CLOSE
TO THE PHONE.

THE POLICE
ARE STAKING OUT

THE LAKE BUILDING
TONIGHT AND THEY
MAY NEED YOU BOYS.

OK, CHIEF.

[BELL TOLLS]

I THINK
I HEARD SOMETHING.

SHUT UP.

SEE?
DUCK.

[RAIN FALLS]

WELL?
WHAT ARE THE PLANS?

FIRST THING WE'RE GONNA DO
IS TO GET MY INVENTION,
TAKE IT UPSTAIRS,

AND PUT IT ON LURCH'S CHAIR.

THEN WE'LL OPEN
MR. LAKE'S DESK

AND FIND OUT
WHAT LURCH WAS AFTER.

YEAH, BUT SUPPOSING
LURCH COMES IN
IN THE MORNING,

SITS IN THE CHAIR,
AND CONFESSES
BEFORE WE ARRIVE?

HOW WILL WE KNOW?

WE'LL STAY THERE
AND WAIT FOR HIM.

YOU KNOW, A MURDERER
ALWAYS RETURNS TO
THE SCENE OF HIS CRIME.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S A GOOD THING
WE'RE ON THE JOB.

IF IT WAS UP TO THAT
FLATFOOT JENNINGS,

MARY WOULD NEVER
GET OUT.

BOY, YOU SAID IT.
"FLATFOOT" IS RIGHT.

COME ON.

Jennings:
GET HIM, BOYS!

RILEY, TURN ON
THE LIGHTS!

[MACHINE BUZZES]

WHOA-OH! WHOA!

JENNINGS IS A FLATFOOT!
JENNINGS IS A FLATFOOT!

JENNINGS IS A FLATFOOT!

WHOA-OH!

YOU'RE A FLATFOOT...
BOTH OF THEM ARE FLAT!

[BUZZING STOPS]

SHUT THAT THING OFF!

HEH. HOW ARE YOU?

HA HA! CAPTAIN JENNINGS.
HA HA!

CAPTAIN JENNINGS.

THAT'S A FUNNY THING.

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL,
AND HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

YOU NIPPERS, WHAT
DID I TELL YOU ABOUT

INTERFERING
WITH THE LAW?

ISN'T IT FUNNY?

WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT YOU, CAPTAIN!

WEREN'T WE, NEWT?
YEAH.

WE WERE JUST SAYING
WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT
HERE, ANYWAY?

WHY, WE CAME
TO GET THIS THING.

WHAT'S THAT FOR?
YOU'LL FIND OUT.

YEAH? WELL,
YOU'LL FIND OUT

THAT YOU CAN'T
INTERFERE WITH ME

AND GET AWAY
WITH IT.

GO ON,
GET OUT OF HERE!

OH, NOW, CAPTAIN JENNINGS,
WE'VE GOT TO GET
IN THE BUILDING.

NOBODY GETS IN
THIS BUILDING.
GET OUT OF HERE.

IF I EVER SEE YOU
AROUND HERE AGAIN,
I'LL LOCK YOU UP.

YOU MEAN THAT?
YES!

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT NEWT
SAYS ABOUT YOU
GOES DOUBLE.

COME ON!

Johnny:
COME ON, NEWT!

Jennings:
GET OUT,
AND STAY OUT!

[POLICEMAN GROANS]

[CAT SHRIEKS]

UH-OH. WHAT WAS THAT?

WHATEVER IT WAS,
IT WASN'T HUMAN.

COME ON,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

[SNICKERING]

CAN YOU IMAGINE JENNINGS
THINKING HE CAN KEEP US
OUT OF THIS BUILDING?

YEAH, WELL, HE'S DONE
ONE BIG FAVOR FOR US.

HE'S FIXED IT SO NOBODY'S
GONNA COME IN TO ANNOY US
WITH OUR WORK.

WE'VE GOT THE ENTIRE BUILDING
TO OURSELF.

WELL, COME ON.
LET'S GO UPSTAIRS
AND GET STARTED.

GOOD.

YOU KNOW, WE BEING
IN THIS BIG BUILDING
ALL BY OURSELVES

MAKES ME FEEL
KIND OF SPOOKY.

I THINK I'LL
FIND A SWITCH AND
PUT THE LIGHTS ON.

YEAH, WELL, IF YOU DO,
I'LL PUT YOURS OUT.

PLUG THAT IN.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
BRING JENNINGS
AND HIS MEN UP HERE?

WHAT ARE YOU WORRYING
ABOUT, ANYWAY?

COME IN.

WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE
THIS TIME OF NIGHT?

LISTEN, SLEEPY,
THE COPS DONE RAIDED
THE POOL HALL

WHERE WE WERE
SHOOTING DICE.

WE'VE BEEN RUNNING
AND RUNNING
AND RUNNING...

YEAH, WE IS.

HOW COME WE CAN'T FINISH
THE GAME HERE WHERE
IT'S NICE AND QUIET?

YES, AIN'T NO COPS
TO BOTHER YOU HERE.

YOU CAN JUST SHOOT,
SHOOT, SHOOT, SHOOT.

HEH! YOU KNOW,
I'M JUST DYING
TO SEE THE EXPRESSION

ON LURCH'S FACE WHEN HE
SITS IN THAT CHAIR.

WHEN HE SITS IN THERE, WE'LL
GET MORE THAN HIS EXPRESSION;

WE'LL GET THE TRUTH.

[MACHINE BUZZES]

PERFECT, PERFECT.
COME ON.

[DESK DRAWER JOSTLES]

I HOPE NOBODY
FINDS US OUT.

I HOPE NOBODY
FINDS US IN.

[DESK DRAWER JOSTLES]

HAVE YOU GOT A KNIFE?

THANKS.

WHAT'S THAT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,
BUT IF IT'S THE MURDERER,
LET'S GIVE HIM...

LET'S GIVE HIM WHAT?

LET'S GIVE HIM
PLENTY OF ROOM.

WHAT DO YOU
WANT HERE?

I'M TRYING TO
FIND A RHYME.

WHAT GOES
WITH "ORANGES"?

GIN.

THE BLACK WIDOW!
LET'S GET HIM!

Newt: YEAH! GET HIM!

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

DON'T THINK YOU CAN
GET AWAY WITH IT WITH US!

Newt: COME ON, CONFESS.
Johnny: WE GOT YOU!

WAIT A MINUTE!
IT'S MR. DARRELL.

GEE, MR. DARRELL,
WE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT
HAPPEN FOR THE WORLD.

I SHOULD SAY NOT.

YEAH, WELL, FORGET IT,
BOYS. FORGET IT.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR;
I ASKED YOU FIRST.

BOYS, I'VE GOT TO
SOLVE THIS CASE.

MY WHOLE PROFESSIONAL
REPUTATION'S AT STAKE.

BUT I THINK I STUMBLED
ACROSS SOMETHING TONIGHT
THAT OFFERS A SOLUTION.

THEN YOU CAN PROVE
THAT MARY'S
INNOCENT?

I THINK SO.
WHERE'S THE PHONE?

IN THE OFFICE,
DOWNSTAIRS.

ANYTHING YOU DO FOR
MARY, YOU'RE DOING
FOR ME, MR. DARRELL.

[BOP]

I'M GOING TO PHONE
MY OFFICE FOR A
COUPLE OF THE MEN

TO COME UP HERE AND HELP ME
REENACT THE CRIME.

YOU CAN'T;
THE COPS WON'T
LET THEM IN.

WHY SEND OUT FOR MEN?
WE'RE HERE ON THE JOB.

WE'RE A COUPLE OF
REENACTING FOOLS.

NOT AT ALL A BAD IDEA.

IT SAVES TIME, AND FURTHERMORE,
WHATEVER WE HAVE TO DO,
WE HAVE TO DO QUICKLY.

OK. WHAT DO WE DO?

NOW, I WANT EVERYTHING IN THESE
OFFICES PRECISELY AS IT WAS
BEFORE LAKE WAS MURDERED.

NOW, YOU, JOHNNY, I WANT YOU
TO BE THE SECRETARY.

YOU GO IN THE OTHER OFFICE.

AND YOU, I WANT YOU
TO BE LAKE.

I WANT YOU TO SIT IN THE SAME
POSITION THAT LAKE WAS IN
WHEN HE WAS MURDERED.

AHEM. YEAH.
WELL, UH, I THINK
I BETTER PLAY MARY.

YOU PLAY LAKE.

NO,
YOU PLAY LAKE.

NO, YOU MAKE
A GOOD LAKE...

ALREADY YOU GOT
WATER ON THE BRAIN.

AND I'LL BE LURCH,
THE BOOKKEEPER.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
TAKE YOUR PLACES.

OH, I WANT TO GET
STRAIGHTENED OUT

THE ONE THING:
WHO AM I?

YOU'RE MARY,
AND I'M LAKE.

THAT'S RIGHT:
YOU'RE MARY,
HE'S LAKE, AND I--

I'M THE BLACK WIDOW!
I'M THE BLACK WIDOW!

WHAT THE--

SAY, WHAT IS
THIS THING?

AHEM.

GEE, I'M SORRY
IT SHOCKED YOU,
MR. DARRELL.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE
INVENTION OF MINE.

AND YOU SAID IT
NEVER FAILED TO MAKE
YOU TELL THE TRUTH.

WELL, IT'S--IT'S ACTED
BEAUTIFULLY UP 'TIL NOW,

BUT IT'S THE FIRST TIME
IT FAILED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, YOU SAID THAT YOU
WERE THE BLACK WIDOW

WHEN WHAT YOU REALLY
WANTED TO SAY WAS

THAT YOU WERE LURCH,
THE BOOKKEEPER.

YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, SHUT THAT THING OFF.

IT'S OFF.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
GO BACK TO YOUR POSITIONS...

AND NO MORE
INTERRUPTIONS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE
THAT DARN MACHINE?

Johnny: AFTER ALL
YOUR HARD WORK, TOO.

HELLO, VICTOR?
GET OVER HERE QUICKLY.

YEAH, THAT'S ALL.

NOW, YOU GO ON
INTO MARY'S OFFICE

AND STAY THERE
UNTIL I CALL YOU.

BUT SAY SOMETHING
ONCE IN A WHILE...

I WANT TO KNOW THAT
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

LET ME SEE, NOW.
I'M MARY?

THAT'S RIGHT.

GO AWAY, WILL YOU?
GO AWAY!

PLACE IS FULL OF
COCKROACHES.

BOO!

WHAT'S THE IDEA OF
SCARING ME LIKE THAT?

I JUST WANTED YOU
TO KNOW I'M ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I JUST WANT YOU
TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT.

NOW, GO BACK
AND TRY IT OVER AGAIN,

AND STAY THERE
UNTIL I CALL YOU.

OH, MARY?

WHERE IS SHE?

WHERE IS WHO?

MARY--HOW'D SHE
GET OUT?

WE'RE REENACTING!

NOW, GO BACK AND TRY IT
AGAIN, WILL YOU?

OH, NO, NO. I'M NOT GOING
OUT THERE AGAIN ALL BY MYSELF.

IT'S TOO DARK.

YOU'VE GOT TO GO AND
STAY IN THAT OFFICE...

THAT'S YOUR
PRIVATE OFFICE.

EVERY SECRETARY
HAS GOT TO HAVE
A PRIVATE OFFICE.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL MAKE
MY OWN OFFICE.

WHOA-OH!

DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?

A GENTLEMAN TO SEE YOU.

OOH!

JUST A MOMENT,
PLEASE.

IT'S A GOOD THING
HE SAID "PLEASE."

YOU KILLED LAKE!

WHAT?

YOU HEARD
WHAT HE SAID!

HE SAID,
"YOU KILLED LAKE."

PUT YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR.

FACE THAT DOOR.

JUST STAY THERE.

I'M SHOT,
BUT IT DON'T HURT.

HE MUST'VE HIT YOU
IN THE HEAD.

LOOK! HE'S FAINTED!

NO, HE WAS SHOT!
THAT'S THE WAY
THEY GOT LAKE!

GET IT!

[GUNSHOT]

Newt: WHOA-OH!

[BAGPIPES BLOW]

WHAT IS IT?!
WHAT IS IT?!
WHERE--

HEY, I DON'T KNOW,
BUT TURN ON THE LIGHTS!

[NICKELODEON PLAYS]

OH, WHAT'S THAT?

GET OUT!

COME ON, LET'S
GET OUT OF HERE!

UH-OH!

OH! HA HA HA!
IT'S MR. DARRELL!

OH, GOSH, ARE WE
GLAD TO SEE YOU!

YEAH!

PHEW, DID YOU
SCARE ME.

DID YOU KNOW WE
SOLVED THE MURDER?

WHAT'S THAT?

YEAH, SURE! WE'VE BEEN
LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

THE MURDERER'S
UPSTAIRS.

YEAH, LOOK. WE FIXED IT
SO HE CAN'T GET HIS GUN BACK.

HA HA HA!
ARE WE GOOD OR NOT, HUH?

GREAT WORK, BOYS. YEAH.

LET'S GO UPSTAIRS
AND GET HIM.

DON'T YOU THINK
WE BETTER
CALL THE COPS?

WHY GIVE THEM
THE REWARD?

YOU'RE RIGHT, MR. DARRELL.
YOU'RE RIGHT.

WE'LL TAKE THE CREDIT...

AND WE'LL TAKE CARE
OF YOU, TOO,
MR. DARRELL.

YEAH, BECAUSE WE KNOW
YOU'RE GONNA TAKE CARE OF US.

I INTEND TO TAKE
CARE OF YOU, BOYS...
BOTH OF YOU.

I CHECKED WITH
THE NOVELTY COMPANY,

AND HERE'S THE
NUMBER OF THE GUN
ON THE PUNCHBOARD.

OH, YES.

65427, EH?

THIS IS 618--NAH.
JUST AS I THOUGHT.

THIS IS NOT THE GUN
ON THE PUNCHBOARD.

MISS ROBERTS, I HAVE DISCOVERED
SOME NEW EVIDENCE THAT REQUIRED
YOUR PRESENCE HERE.

I'LL DO ANYTHING
YOU WANT ME TO,
CAPTAIN JENNINGS.

THAT'S THE GIRL.
YOU BOYS STAY HERE
AND WATCH THE DOOR.

WE'RE GOING UP
TO LAKE'S OFFICE.

WAIT A MINUTE, BOYS.

BETTER LET ME GO IN
FIRST TO MAKE SURE THAT
EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT.

AFTER ALL,
YOU'RE VOLUNTEERS.

GEE, HE'S
A REGULAR GUY.

WELL, THAT'S
THE WAY IT GOES:

THE REGULARS FIRST,
THEN THE VOLUNTEERS.

[MALLET SCRAPES]

ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
WAIT.

A SOUND HEAD
SHOULD LEAD.

[BOP]

[BOP]

[FAINT VOICES]

5!
OOH, BOY!

Man: $2.00 A HIT.

YOU TAKE A SHOT
AT THAT.

DON'T DO NO SMALL
FAVORS FOR ME

BUYING ME
NO CHITLINS.

WELL, I DON'T
KNOW WHERE YOU
GETTIN' IT,

BUT IT LOOKS
LIKE REAL MONEY.

Second man: AND AGAIN.

IN THE POT.

MISS ROBERTS,
YOU SAID THAT
YOU SAW LURCH

TRYING TO FORCE
OPEN A DRAWER
OF LAKE'S DESK

AFTER
HE WAS SHOT?

YES.

WILL YOU SHOW ME
EXACTLY HOW
YOU HAPPENED

TO DISCOVER
THAT MR. LAKE
WAS DEAD?

WELL, I CAME BACK INTO THIS
OFFICE WITH MY HAT AND COAT.

I WAS GOING TO TELL HIM
THAT I WAS THROUGH

WHEN I HEARD
THE BUZZER.

[BUZZER RINGS]

[BUZZER RINGS REPEATEDLY]

AAH!

WHY, IT'S LURCH!

HE'S DEAD!

AND HE'S
BEEN SHOT

IN THE SAME
MANNER THAT
LAKE WAS!

WELL.

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

MY NAME'S CLARK.

CLARK, EH? I GOT
A WARRANT OUT FOR YOU!

WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT ALL THIS?

NOTHING.
I FOUND OUT THAT

I WASN'T GETTING
A SQUARE DEAL ON MY SONG,

SO I CAME UP HERE
TO CHECK THE BOOKS MYSELF.

SOMETHING HIT ME
ON THE HEAD,
AND THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER.

THAT'S ALL
YOU REMEMBER, HUH?

LAKE AND THIS MAN
WERE BOTH KILLED BY
SOMEBODY ON THE INSIDE.

RILEY, GET HIM OUT OF
THERE AND YOU SIT DOWN
IN THAT CHAIR.

ME?

YES. I'M GONNA GET
TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT HAPPENED?

I'VE BEEN UNCONSCIOUS.

I'VE KNOWN THAT
FOR YEARS.

POOR MR. DARRELL.

UGH!

THE BLACK WIDOW
GOT HIM!

NOW WHAT?

LET'S CALL
THE COPS.

HELLO? HELLO?

HELLO? HELLO?

HELLO? HELLO?

HELLO? HELLO?

HELLO?

HELLO? HELLO?
POLICE DEPARTMENT.

GOOD.
COMING RIGHT UP.

BOY, I FIXED THAT,
ALL RIGHT.

SAY, THESE PHONES
DON'T WORK.

WELL, PHONE THE TELEPHONE
COMPANY AND REPORT IT.
GIVE ME THIS.

HELLO?

HELLO, TROUBLE?

STOP IT. STOP.
NO, THAT'S MINE--

[SHRIEKING]

[SHRIEKING]

AAH!
AAH!
AAH!

[SHRIEKING]

FEE-FI-FO-FUM!
FEE-FI!

WHO DID YOU SAY
TO CALL?

CALL AN AMBULANCE;
I THINK I'M CRAZY.

I'LL CALL TWO
OF 'EM; I THINK
WE'RE BOTH CRAZY.

WHOA-OH!

LOOK. MR. LAKE IS BACK.

HE CERTAINLY LOST
A LOT OF WEIGHT.

SAY, DO YOU KNOW
WHO THAT IS?

SURE: IT'S DEATH
TAKING A HOLIDAY.

NO, IT'S THE BLACK WIDOW,
AND THIS IS THE PAYOFF MONEY.

IF WE CAN GET THE REST OF IT,
WE CAN CLEAR MARY.

YEAH, WELL,
YOU GO AND GET IT.
SHE'S YOUR GIRL.

UH-OH! HE'S IN AGAIN!
WHOA!

[BANGING ON GLASS]

SAY, WHY NOT LET THAT
GUY IN AND HAMMER A
CONFESSION OUT OF HIM?

THAT OUGHT TO BE EASY.
IT'S TWO AGAINST ONE...

BUT, OH, THAT ONE!

[CLANG]

OOH!

NO!

OOH!

WAIT A MINUTE!
WAIT A MINUTE!

THOSE MONKEY'S
HAVE THE MONEY.

NOW, DON'T LET ANYBODY
OUT OF HERE 'TIL WE GET IT.

OK, BOSS.

OH!
WHOA-OH!

UH-OH!

WAIT A MINUTE, BOYS!
THIS IS THE BOSS!

NO!

NO!

NO!

OH!

[SMASH]

UGH!

[SHOUTING]

BAD MAN! BAD MAN!

AAH!

HERE! HERE!

OHH!

OH! OH!
MY NECK!

AAH!
AAH!

AND THEY COULD'VE
GOT HIM FROM HERE,
COULDN'T THEY?

YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S--
WELL, TO SAY
IT'S POSSIBLE.

Jennings: NOW, LET'S SEE.
I WONDER IF--

[BOP]

WHAT--
HERE.

"654."

WHY, THIS IS THE GUN
FROM THE PUNCHBOARD.

THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN WHO
COULD'VE SWITCHED THEM.

COME ON.

WAIT HERE.

[LOUD SMASH]

WHO THREW THAT?!
THREW THIS THING AT--

OH, WHO THREW
THIS THING?!

CAPTAIN!
WE DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS YOU!

WAIT 'TIL I GET
MY HANDS ON YOU!

LOOK!

GET HIM!

WELL.

MR. WILLIAM DARRELL,
ALIAS THE BLACK WIDOW, EH?

YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.

OH, NO, BUT YOU
MADE THE MISTAKE

WHEN YOU TOOK THAT GUN
FROM THE GIRL AND SUBSTITUTED
YOUR OWN OUT ON THE BALCONY.

VERY CLEVER,
CAPTAIN JENNINGS.
GREAT POLICE WORK.

BUT IT TOOK THOSE TWO
NITWITS TO CATCH ME.

YEAH, WELL, WE HAD THE FINGER
ON YOU RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

HERE YOU ARE, CHIEF.
TAKE HIM AWAY, MEN.

YEAH.

LET'S YOU AND I
GO DOWNSTAIRS AND PUNCH
FOR OUR WEDDING RING.

TOO LATE.
I'VE ALREADY
WON IT FOR YOU.

BUT HOW?

I PUNCHED OUT
EVERY NUMBER
ON THE BOARD.

DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?

IT MEANS WE CAN HAVE
OUR OWN LITTLE HOME

AND OUR OWN LITTLE CAR...

AND OUR OWN
LITTLE CHILDREN.

HOW MANY OF THESE LITTLE
BLESSED EVENTS DO YOU
EXPECT TO HAVE?

OH, ONE OR TWO,
BUT NO MORE THAN...

3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8...

HEAR, HEAR!
NOW, SHUT THAT
THING OFF!