The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot (2018) - full transcript

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Heil Hitler.

Guten tag.

Danke, Fraulein.

How you doing, Barr?

Not too bad, George.
Yourself?

Ah, same old, same old.

Feeling okay?

Haven't seen you look up
from your drink all night.

Well, just...
thinking about some things.

- Just thinking.
- Mm. About?



Nothing important, really.

You know what?
A vacation.

You need to get down to Florida.

The Keys, Barr.
Do you golf?

Uh, Hawaii, maybe.

You... You ever fished
a deep sea?

You know, go somewhere warm
where you can spend

some of your hard-earned money
and relax.

The Keys, Barr.
Think of it.

Do you golf?

Those sound like
the kind of places

where a man such as yourself
might think a man such as myself

might go off happily to die,
George.

Am I right?



Look, I didn't mean any offense,
Barr, honest.

- I'm just saying you might...
- I'm not offended, George.

You're right.

I should be rounding out
my life

with a fishing pole and a tan,

not sitting on some wobbly stool
with cheap drinks

in a crummy bar.

No offense, George.

Don't pay any attention to me.

It's the drink.

I think I'll give it up today.

Honestly.
What do you think?

Good night, George.
Take care.

See you tomorrow, Calvin?

See you tomorrow, George.

There it is.

Hm.

Change, mister?

Got any change?

Yeah.

Just don't, uh...

...don't spend it all on...

Ah, forget it.

Thank you.

Wallet.
Keys.

I just gave the last of my money
to a... bum,

a man who...

Did I say to talk?

Wallet. Now.

Give me that.

Oh.
Is... Is this what you wanted?

She's pretty.

Move.

Let's go.

I can't just let you...

I need my car.

Get out of here, old man.

You're dead.

For Pete's sake.

Cripes.

You've traveled a long way,
Mr. America.

And on foot.

Do they hurt?

Nyet.

You must not humor me.

I know you speak Russian.

You speak German.

You speak French.

How many other languages
you do not speak?

Not many.

Bad tobacco.

And how come you've learned
so many foreign tongues?

I don't know.

It comes naturally.
They're just words.

Of course.

So many things come naturally
to you.

Can you paint?

Do you think I can paint?

I see... artistic love
in your eyes.

I think maybe you can paint.

But we need to get rid
of that... beard you're wearing.

I've had a long journey
to get here.

And in such secrecy.

Mr. America,
the lonesome wanderer.

I wish I knew what is it that
we're helping you to accomplish.

It's not important.

America thanks you.

Do you?

What?

Thank me.

I'm not America.

I'm just a mission.

You... are a human being.

And you might want to say
thank you if you like.

And I might say,
"You're welcome,"

and we'll have some drink.

It will be very cordial.

My mother was the daughter
of Romanian Gypsies,

and she believed in the power
of a straight-edge razor.

She believed that it can tell
the future.

May I give you this shave?

You may.

Now, a shave can be just that...
a shave.

Nothing more, nothing less.

But once we announce
that this is a special shave,

that we're seeking omens...

...then there is no way back.

Hereby... I announce...
the specialness.

The shave cannot be perfect.
Only God is perfect.

If it's perfect
and I don't cut you...

...then... you'll fail,
and you'll die.

But if I make a mistake
and I draw blood, then...

....you will succeed
and you'll live.

But I cannot try
to make a mistake

to influence or sway
the final outcome

or we both will be cursed.

I must try... to be honest
in each stroke.

I must try...
to have steady hands.

And only if I make
an accidental...

absolutely accidental mistake...
if my hand shakes,

if I look aside for a moment

of if the razor catches your
skin in some innocent way...

...then the blood
is a good omen.

The blood is life.

But I must... try to be perfect.

And my hands must be
very steady.

And you... must try not to move.

Don't you move, Mr. America,
or you'll curse yourself.

It's perfect.

My hands are steady today.

And the omen is that...
you will fail.

And you will die.

Put this on your face.
It will feel very nice.

You will succeed
in your mission, Mr. America.

Nevertheless... we are cursed.

Now, we'll bring you
to where you need to be.

And beyond that, you venture
alone into an unholy land.

I thank you.

You're welcome.

Now we can drink.

What is it?

It's not vodka.

You would expect a Russian
to drink vodka, wouldn't you?

That's typical.

But I don't know you.

I mustn't do
what you expect me to do.

We might be enemies one day.

You might think you knew me.

This.
We drink gin.

Russian, that is not gin.

It is vodka.

You might think you knew me.

Good boy.

For Pete's sake.

I'll be back, buddy.

You want to come?

All right.

Let's go.

Come on.

This guy's up
there killing people, you know?

Hikers and stuff, leaving big,
phony-looking footprints

for the authorities to find,
and it's sick.

When they find this wacko, send
him down here into the States.

I'll show him a big foot...
right up his...

Terrible stuff, Ralph.

That's all we know,
and we eat it up.

But you're a good boy, though,
right?

I think so.

Hi there.

Hi.

Oh, that's right.
Let me just get, um...

Can I, uh...
help you with anything?

I'm looking for a hat.

Huh.

Do you sell this kind
of lottery ticket here?

Scratch ticket.
Yeah.

Well, would you say this one
came from here, then?

Did you buy it here?

No, I found it.

Appears to be a winner... $100.

Okay.

You want your winnings, then?

No.
It's not mine.

So what do you want to do
with it?

Get it back to its rightful
owner or what have you.

Whoever bought it just didn't
look it over good enough

and probably threw it out when
they thought it was a loser.

That happens?

That happens.

- Often?
- It happens.

Pretty foolish.

I think I'll just leave it here.

You don't want the winnings?

I got nothing to do with it.

Keep it handy
for a couple of days.

If no one shows to collect
the winnings, you keep it.

Here.

For your dog.

Thank you.

I'd just as soon pay for it
myself.

Lets the dog know
I'm thinking of him.

Huh.

I wonder how this one
never got caught

to be burned or what have you.

Who's burning money?

The government.

They destroy the old ones
every so often

so that new, crisp legal tenders
can be printed up

and put out into circulation.

I was wondering how this one
never got caught

to be burned or what have you.

I don't know.

Some old ones just hang around.

Hi there, Ed.

Did you get a haircut
somewhere else?

Yeah.
A couple of weeks ago.

Feels a little heavy.

Well, come on in, then.

It's been a while.

Well... it was growing real slow
for a while there.

Then, all of a sudden, it just
started growing real fast,

so... here I am.

That's one of the better
problems I've ever heard of.

The numbers are backward
in real life

and... normal in the mirror.

A mirror clock.

Huh.

So, how have you been?
You look a little tired.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm fine.

You sure?

Yeah.
I'm just...

just...

Don't... Don't jerk your head
like that.

Otherwise I might take part
of your ear off.

You can talk to me.

What's bothering you?

Nothing, Ed.
I'm... I'm fine.

I'm just...

Nothing.

I don't know.

I feel... old.

I know... I am.

There's other things.

Things I could have done
differently.

Regrets.

It's all just nonsense, Ed.

Selfish.

Nothing.

We don't talk as often
as we should.

And I get that.
I know why.

I'm your little brother.

- We should go fishing.
- Huh.

No.
I shot someone during the war.

I never wanted that.

To kill a man.

Even if he had it coming.

And he did.

Do svidaniya, Mr. America.

Sitz!

Hier.

Heil Hitler.

Mein Fuehrer.

Come on.

Hm.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Figured it was high time
we had a real... you know, date.

We have, don't you think?

Not like a hamburger at Gus's
or... a walk around town.

I mean like a... you know...

It's wonderful, Calvin.
Thank you.

Sure.

Didn't expect to end up
someplace like this

when I left class today.

If the kids could only see me.

They would laugh at me.

You look... awfully fine to me.

I'm happy, Calvin.

Thank you.

Yeah. Sure.
You bet.

Only, uh, I wish that, uh...

- Yes?
- What I mean to say...

Hey, move your table, pal.

It's in the way of everything.

You were saying you...
you wish...

You see, I'm... I'm...
I'm happy, and... and, um...

hopefully you're...
you know, with me, too.

So... And...
And when you're not around,

I-I'm... I'm, um...

Oh, cripes.
What am I trying to say here?

Uh...

When I get back...
I think we should get...

Look who it is!

Oh. Um...

You're Harold's teacher.

Harold is tickled pink

that he has a teacher
who understands his pace.

And darned
if he didn't tell me.

Takes an interest
in model trains.

Well, my father was an engineer,
so, you know, it just...

Harold tells me that you never
rush through math lessons

and you always take the time
to explain

this plus that equals this
using apples instead of numbers.

Apples instead of numbers!

They're still numbers,
but apples help the children...

He's a big eater.
Loves food.

Not apples so much.

Well, maybe as numbers.

We were going to send him

to a private school,
but then we thought,

how would he truly get to know
regular folks

if he didn't, you know,
live down among them

and mingle for a little while?

Well, it's only the third grade,

so I'm sure there'll be
plenty of time for him to...

Anyway, it has just been an
absolute pleasure to meet you.

And you are twice as lovely
as Harold described you.

And I'd be half a man
not to notice, and I do.

Hm.

Son.

Oh, uh, please.
Sorry.

Um, this is Calvin, my, um...

Uh, he's leaving for the service
at the end of the week.

- Nice to meet you, Mr. Calvin.
- Barr.

Good man, Barr.

Don't get shot.

I'm sorry.

Calvin.

Please.
Uh, you were saying.

I-I got the shakes.

Just... Just from the pace
of... of...

Parents get awfully worked up
over their children.

I don't know how you do it.

Dealing with people and...
and... and kids.

You...

You're a saint.
You know that?

What's higher than a saint?

I don't know.

Well, whatever it is...

...that's you.

I love you, Calvin.

I love you too.

Who is it, boy?

Yes?

May we come in, Mr. Barr?

We'd like to talk.

Concerning?

May we come in?

We can talk in the dining room.

I'll make coffee.

Oh, we've already eaten.

I didn't offer you a snack.
I offered you coffee.

Please sit, gentlemen.

That's a good dog.

It'll be ready in a minute.

Cut to the chase, gentlemen.

You've heard about the killings
up north?

It's in the news.

So you've heard, then.

What's the FBI have to do
with it?

We're assisting.

What brings you here?

Monsieur Barr,

with regards to the situation
in Canada,

you are privy to the, um...

Cover story.

The media ran with their angle,
and so we played along.

Sometimes the best way to hide
something is right out in the...

I understand how it works.

No, I don't think you do.

Not yet you don't.

Gentlemen, you are talking
in circles.

Speak here.

My grandfather knew you, Barr.

He was pretty high up
in Army brass.

He used to sit me up on his knee
some nights and tell me stories.

Some I believed.
Others, I don't know.

As he got older,
the stories got stranger.

Family said he got
a little senile in his old age.

I'm not so sure.

In any event,
one story led to another,

and he started telling
about things that, uh...

maybe he wasn't supposed to.

So he sat me up one night
when I was 10, 'back in '55,

and he told me
all about this one soldier.

But he wasn't describing a man.

It was more like something
mythic.

Legendary, like Arthur
or something.

You didn't pull any swords
from any stones, did you?

But you might have done
something.

Something bigger, maybe.

I think your family
had him pegged.

Senility?
Sure.

Maybe.

Then again, I don't know.

Maybe not.

Uh, we were advised
to come and see you,

that, uh, you have, uh, some
skill in tracking, that, uh...

As you probably know...
that was some time past.

And as you can see,
I'm an old man now.

Monsieur Barr,
I want to save lives.

If this situation
is not stayed now...

it could mean the very end
of our world as we know it.

What?

What is this?

These look like
bacterial infections.

Plague.

No, Monsieur Barr.

The Bigfoot.

The creature.

It is sick.

Here are 50 miles
of deep Canadian wilderness

where it has, uh,
already wiped out

an entire population
of wildlife.

There is hardly a-a living
creature within this tract

except for one.

The beast with many names.

Imagine all our worst fears
about influenza...

in humans, bovine, swine...
all of it...

coming true to life, only worse.

That thing is the original
carrier of the nightmare plague.

Thing vanished.
Virus mutated.

Started jumping species
to species.

Stroke of luck it didn't go
to the birds.

Then people started
getting sick, dying... fast,

more than the press
is reporting.

This area is referred to
as the dead zone.

With a virus like this,

a containment breach
is out of the question.

We have tested your blood,
Calvin.

You are immune to the virus.

How?

With, uh,
any strain of influenza,

there is a small percentage
of the population that will...

How did you get my blood?

Your government had some
in refrigeration.

Why?

Speaking from a strictly
scientific standpoint,

y-you are unique, Monsieur Barr.

If there are others, why me?

Some are dead. Some are old.
Some are children.

There are only three
that can help us,

and only you remain.

We sent some of our best men in.

Those who didn't come back
empty-handed

didn't come back at all.

Any hope of a vaccine
would take weeks, months.

If we cannot contain the beast,

if we cannot destroy it
and if it escapes...

...this could truly be the end,
Calvin.

And what if it's already slipped
through this 50-mile tract?

What then?

Mushroom bombs are standing by

to level the very heart
of Canada.

The prime minister would like us
to try another course of action,

but the president has set
a timetable

for the big red button.

You're the last resort.

That thing is working its way
down the map.

It's coming home.

We've read your official record,
Mr. Barr.

There are certain circles
in the government

that well remember
the things that you've done

for this country in wartime
and out of it.

The levels of training are...

And the flawless record
of success.

It's perfect.

And your services run deep.

That kind of instinct
never goes, does it?

Our men saw what you did
to those thugs the other night.

That was a pretty piece of work.

But I want to return
to my grandfather now

and something
that he told me once

in his stories of war
and of fighting men.

He didn't know how it was done
for certain,

but my grandfather,
he said that someone...

killed...

Yes.
I did.

The Germans.

They moved a lot.

And I moved with them.

I shadowed the Reich
back and forth

across their ill-gotten lands...

...and I moved where they moved.

Until the time was right.

Until I knew where he was.

Until I knew it was him.

And I caught up with them.

You're serious.

The Germans covered it up.

And so did we.

And history marched on,
just like you read about.

By the time I got
to that miserable man,

his words had grown beyond him.

And his ideas continued to do

all the damage they could
possibly do without him.

That day, I just killed a man.

What he stood for
was unstoppable.

I-I'm sorry.
This is, uh, World War... II?

The Nazis.

They had their phonies
all lined up.

Three, maybe four of them

by the time the Russians
put a lid on Berlin.

Project Valkyrie?
A success.

They got number two.

The last one was a coward
and a womanizer...

but a coward first.

Shot himself in a bunker.

Killed his dog, too.

What do you think
the little mustache was for?

The hair?

The uniform?

The entire look...

It was a costume,
all part of a plan.

It's easy to fool the stupid
and the willing.

What I did that day
didn't mean a thing.

I just killed a man.

The monster lived on.

And in the end,
the war was won by heroes.

Not me.

Do you understand?

It was nothing like the
comic book you want it to be.

Now you know.

Are you happy?

S-S'il vous plaît... What are
you gentlemen talking about?

All I ever did
was what they said.

And that's it.

I always did
exactly what they said.

So there it is.

And that's it.

So you'll help us.

I don't work for you anymore.

And now if you'll please be
on your way.

I apologize for...

...the inconvenience.

But the hour is late,
and my show is about to start.

How about that coffee?

You already ate.

What do you think?

Wait.

But this is your favorite.

I want you to have it.

I'll take good care of him.

Hello?

Hello?

Yes?

Did you just call me?

Yes.

Sorry I called so late.

Hope I didn't cause a stir.

Starting to get cooler out.

Yeah.

I brought you some hot cocoa.

Wait a minute.

Got to have the marshmallows.

Got to.

Oh. Good.
Thank you.

Oh, it's just that same old
powdered stuff.

Did you want to talk about
something or just... sit quietly?

Either way, it's fine.

Someone came to see me.

Wants me to do something.

Who?

The government.

Governments, rather.

American and Canadian.

It's the Bigfoot, Ed.

They want me to kill it.

It's the carrier
of this plague-type thing.

Well, that's no good.

No.

They couldn't find anyone else?

Nope.

What did you tell them?

I said no.

Could you do it?

I don't want to kill again.

Be it beast or man.

I don't want to have a hand
in that anymore.

Are you sure you made the right
decision, then, for you?

I'm wondering
why you called me here

if you weren't already thinking
about leaving.

Why do you believe
anything I'm saying?

Because most men live
their whole lives one way.

And when a liar is a liar,
he's a liar.

And when a fancy man is fancy,
he's fancy.

And when an honest man
is honest... he's honest.

Be careful, Calvin.

I still want to go fishing.

I'll thank you
to look after the dog.

- Good to see you, Barr.
- Yeah.

Monsieur Barr,
if you will follow me.

We are just outside
the dead zone.

The fire you see
is a containment measure.

It is a controlled burn.

The ring of fire encircles
the dead zone.

Nothing gets in.
Nothing gets out.

You will be given
your choice of fatigue.

I think you will find
the selection suitable.

You will also have your choice
of, uh, gear.

And weapons.

Once you are inside
the dead zone,

our entire operation
will fall back another 50 miles

and you will be the last and
final hope in saving this land.

And yours.

These Canucks, God bless 'em,
they didn't have the goods

when it came to firepower,
so I sent for my private stock.

That gun.

That scope.

This knife.

That's it.

Merci, Monsieur Barr.

Merci.

Barr, we have your location.

What's the status?
Did you get it?

Not yet.

We heard a shot fired.
Was that you?

Yeah.

Was it a hit?

- Yeah.
- Where?

Its head.

It... And it's not dead?

No.

So where is it?

It ran off.

Where?

I'll get it.

Time's running out, Barr.

Yeah.
I know what time it is.

How are you?

Led me off a cliff.

Broke my little pinkie.

Sorry.
Uh, come again.

My fifth digit.
I broke it.

Well, be careful
of that kind of thing.

He doesn't have big feet,
either.

Not really living up
to its name.

We're all with you, Barr.

You won't hear from me again
until the end.

Over.

Poultice.

Hm.

Vegetarian.

Hello.

Bye.

My dear Calvin.

I've written you so many times
that I can't keep count anymore.

I can almost hear
what you'd say back.

Sometimes I think of a joke
you would say, and I laugh.

Then I feel foolish.

It's been a long time
since I've heard from you.

They say that you're alive
but that I can't talk to you...

...that you can't write me
even if you wanted to.

I walked by your house today

just to be somewhere
that we once were.

I've gone sappy, Calvin.

Me.

I watched the mailman put one
of my letters through your door.

They stopped forwarding them
long ago, I guess.

There's a school back home
that could use my help,

closer to Mom and Dad.

Mom's been sick lately.

So I'm leaving here.

Saw Ed to say goodbye.

He misses you too.

Everyone does... me especially.

Please come home soon.

I love you.

P.S... Do you like the stamp?

It's of Dick Tracy.

I know how much you like
that strip.

I clipped a bunch out
for when you get back.

I didn't miss a day.

They're not gonna have
your body, old man.

This isn't what I wanted.

And I'm sorry.

My brother was a good man.

A thoughtful man.

He was selfless.

He didn't know pride.

He loved a girl.

She was... special.

The war kept them apart...
and she passed away young.

Too young.

I didn't get to know Calvin
the way a brother should.

But I'll miss him.

I always... missed him.

Okay.
How's that?

Oh.
Very fine, Ed.

All right.
That means we're almost done.

Say, uh, I'm really sorry
to hear about your brother.

Calvin.

You know, I didn't really
know him very well, but...

...it sounds like he was
a pretty decent guy.

He was.
Thank you.

So, uh...

So folks say that...

he left for vacation and just...
never came back, huh?

That's a shame.

Well, I don't know.

He, uh, went someplace nice,
someplace warm.

Nice view of the sea, you know?

I mean, it's better
than him dying

in that old house
all by his lonesome, right?

Yeah.

You're all set.
Get some candy.

All right.

Well...

...take care of yourself, Ed.

Say, you going to
the school play tomorrow night?

Wouldn't miss it.

My granddaughter's playing
a butterfly.

Ah.
Yeah.

Him too.

Plays a turtle.

It's the lead turtle.

Can I come out there with you?

I said some nice things
about you at your grave.

Wish I could've been there.

Thanks for keeping care
of Ralph.

It wasn't a problem.

What did you bury?

Oh.
Your uniform.

Your medals.

Good.

I can't believe you're...

Can we just sit quiet, Ed?

Okay.

Sounds good.

All right, then.

Mm.
Cripes.

Hello.

Where is she? I can't see her.

She's the butterfly.

Oh.

A lot of butterflies are dead
this time of year.

What?

This late in the season?
It's true.

Did you...

Did you bury the...

Under my bed.

Did you?

Yes.

I thought you'd feel better
with...

Calvin, I-I'm sorry.

- Ah.
- I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Hey.

Let's take a walk.

At school today, um,
one of my students came up

and turned in his journal.

His name's Jimmy.

He's a nice boy.

He tries real hard.

Uh, and I noticed that he had
a scrape on his forehead,

and I asked him how he got it.

And he said that he wrote
about it in his journal

and asked me if I would read it.

So I read it
during my lunch break.

Uh, it said that Jimmy and
his friends were playing war.

You know... war.

Sure.
Popguns and whatnot.

- Mm.
- Uh-huh.

And Jimmy was on the bad side.

He was playing
one of the bad guys.

And he went up this tree.

And while he was hiding,
he lost his footing and fell out

and landed on one of his friends
below.

And all the kids ran over to
make sure that they were okay.

Except one.
This one kid.

He runs up and he shoots
all the bad guys

and then brags that he's won.

And I guess technically he did.

The other kids
didn't have to help.

So... the bad guys lost.

And Jimmy felt really bad
about the whole thing.

I'm... I'm not exactly sure what
he wanted me to get out of that,

but he wrote about it
in such detail.

It must have
really bothered him.

Huh.

He probably wants to know what
you think of a kid like that.

Your opinion
is probably important to him.

What do you think?

Of the kid who shot at people?

I don't know.

A kid like that grows up to be
someone important, I think.

Like a...
Like the boss in a factory

or... maybe the president.

I don't know.

Kids are tough.

What kind of kid were you?

I'd be the kid

that Jimmy squished
when he fell out of the tree.

See you later, Calvin.

Tomorrow, I...

I thought maybe you could...
drive me to the station.

I can't.

Why not?

Because... tonight I'm happy,
and...

tomorrow I won't be.

I can't watch you go.

I...

When we get to your house...

...I'm just gonna keep walking.

Maybe the next time
that I see you,

it'll be like you just stopped
to tie your shoelace.

Listen.

I, uh...

I'm right behind you.

Catch up quick.

All right.
Come on.

Huh.

Another day, boy.

Maybe tomorrow.

What do you think?

There it is.

Come on, boy!

Let's go home.

Subtitles by explosiveskull