The Iceman Cometh (1973) - full transcript

Eh, nothin' now 'till
the noon rush from the market.

If I ain't a sap to let Chuck
kid me into workin' his time

so he can take
the morning off.

But I got sick
of arguing.

I says: "All right, get
married! What's it to me?"

(Joe sighing)

Some party
last night, eh?

It was jinxed
from the start,

but his tellin' about his wife
croakin' put de K.O. on it.

It was the birthday feast
that turned out to be a wake.

Him promisin' he'd cut out that
bughouse bull about peace.



And then he went on talkin' and
talkin' like he couldn't stop.

And the gang, sneakin'
upstairs, leavin' free booze

and eats like they
was poison.

He's been hoppin' from room
to room, all night.

He's got his Reform Wave
goin' strong this mornin'.

Did you notice him drag
Jimmy out the first thing

to get his laundry
and his clothes pressed

so he wouldn't have
no excuse?

And he give Willie
the dough

to buy his stuff
back from Solly's.

And all the rest
have been brushin'

and shavin' themselves
with the shakes.

He didn't come
to my room.

Afraid I might ask him
a few questions.



Yeah? I'd say you
was scared of him.

You'd lie then.
Don't let him kid you, Rocky.

He had his door locked,
I couldn't get in, either.

Yeah, who do you think
you're kiddin', Larry?

Like he says, if you
was so anxious to croak,

why wouldn't you hop off
your fire escape long ago?

Because it'd be a coward's
quitting, that's why.

He's all
quitter, Rocky.

He's a yellow
old faker.

You lying punk!
Yeah, keep out of this, you!

Shall I give him
the bum's rush, Larry?

You don't want him around,
nobody else don't.

No, let him stay,
I don't mind.

He's nothing to me.

You're right.

I have nowhere I can go now,
you're the only one

in the world
I can turn to.

Eh, you're a soft
old sap, Larry.

He's a no-good
louse like Hickey.

He don't belong!

I'm all in,
not a wink of sleep.

Larry, I'm sorry
for ridin' you.

But you get my goat
when you act as if

you didn't care a damn
what happened to me.

And you keep your door locked
so I can't talk to you.

But that was to keep
Hickey out, wasn't it?

I don't blame you, I'm getting
more and more to hate him.

More and more
scared of him.

Especially since he told us
about his wife being dead.

It's that queer
feeling he gives me

that I'm mixed up
with him in some way.

I don't know why, but it started
me thinking about mother.

As if she
was dead.

I suppose she
might as well be.

It must kill her when
she thinks of me.

I know she doesn't want to,
but... she can't help it.

After all,
I'm her only kid.

She used to spoil me,
and made a pet of me.

Once in a
great while...

when she
remembered me.

As if she was trying to
make up for something.

As if she was...
feeling guilty.

So I guess she must have
loved me a little,

even if she never let it
interfere with her freedom.

You know, Larry...

I once had a sneaking
suspicion that,

if the truth were
known, you were my father.

You damned fool!

Who put that insane
idea in your head?

Anyone in the coast crowd
could tell I never laid eyes

on your mother 'till
after you were born.

Well, I'd hardly
ask them, would I?

I know you're right,
though, because I asked her.

She brought me up to be frank
and ask her anything.

I was talking about how
she must feel now about me.

My getting through
with the Movement.

Oh, she'll never
forgive me for that.

That must be the final knockout,
if she knows that I was the one

who sold out...
Shut up, damn you! Shut up.

It'll kill her!
But Larry...

I never thought that they
would have caught her!

You've got to believe
what the only reason was.

Now I'll admit, what I told you
last night... that was a lie.

All that bunk
about feeling patriotic

and my duty
to my country.

But here's the true reason,
the only reason, Larry.

See, I got stuck on this
whore... and I wanted dough!

That's the only reason,
that's all I did it for!

Just the money,
honest!

God damn you,
shut up!

What the hell
is it to me?

What's comin' off here?
Nothing.

This young punk
is talking my ear off.

He's a worse pest
than Hickey.

(yawning)
Oh, yeah, Hickey.

Say, listen, what do you
mean about him being scared

you'd ask him questions?
What questions?

What questions? Well, you noticed
he didn't tell us what his wife died of.

Oh, lay off of that,
the poor guy!

What are you
gettin' at, anyway?

You don't think it's just a gag of his?
No, no I don't.

I'm damned sure he brought
death here with him,

I can smell the cold touch of it upon him.
Oh, bunk.

You got croakin' on
the brain, Old Cemetery.

Say, do you mean you think
she committed suicide

on account of his
cheatin' or something?

It wouldn't surprise me.
But that's crazy.

Jees, if she'd done that,
he wouldn't tell us

he was glad about it,
would he?

You know her
better than that, Larry.

You know she'd never
commit suicide.

She's like you,
she'll hang on to life

even when there's nothing...
And what about you?

Be God, if you had
any guts or decency!

I'd take that hop off
the fire escape

you're too yellow to take, I suppose, ah?
No!

I'm done with...
Yeah, I suppose you'd like that!

What the hell's
all this about?

What do you know
about Hickey's wife?

How do you know she didn't...?
He doesn't!

Hickey's addled
the little brains he's got.

Shove him back
to his table, Rocky.

I'm sick of him.

You heard Larry!
So move, quick.

Gee, Larry... that's
a hell of a way to treat me

after I've trusted you,
and I need your help.

Jees... if she
committed suicide,

you gotta feel sorry
for Hickey, huh?

You can understand how
he'd go bughouse, and not be

responsible for all the crazy
stunts he's stagin' here.

But how can you be
sorry for him when he says

he's glad she croaked?
Oh, nuts!

I don't get nowhere
tryin' to figure his game.

But I know this: He better
lay off of me and my stable.

Jees, Larry! What a night
them two pigs give me.

When the party went dead,
they pinched a couple of bottles

and brung them
up their room.

I don't get a wink
of sleep, see?

Just as I'd drop off
on that chair there,

they come down
lookin' for trouble.

Or else they'd raise hell
upstairs, laughin' and singin',

so that I'd get scared
they'd get the joint pinched

and go up to tell
them to can the noise.

And every time they'd crawl my
frame with de same old argument.

They'd say:

(imitating Maggie)
"So you agree with Hickey, do you?

"You dirty little Ginny!
So we're whores, are we?

"Well, we agree with Hickey
about you, see?

"You're nothin' but a lousy
pimp!" Then I'd slap them.

But it don't do no good!
They keep at it over and over.

Jees, I get the earache
just thinkin' of it.

"Listen," they'd say, "if we're
whores, we got a right to have

"a regular pimp and not stand
for no punk imitation!"

"We're sick of wearin'
out our dogs poundin'"

"the sidewalks for
a double-crossin' bartender,"

"when all the thanks we get
is he looks down on us."

"Don't expect us to work
tonight, 'cause we won't, see?"

"Not if the streets
were blocked with sailors!"

"We're goin' on strike!"

Whores goin' on strike!
Can you tie that?

They'd say:
"We're takin' a holiday.

"We're goin' to beat it
to Coney Island and shoot

"the chutes, and maybe we'll
come back and maybe we won't.

"And you can go to hell!"
So they put on their lids

and beat it, the both
of them stinko!

Hey, Rocky, Cora wants
a sherry flip, for her nerves.

"Sherry flip?"

Christ, she don't need nothin'
for her nerve.

What's she think this is, the Waldorf?
Yeah, I told her.

"What would we use
for sherry?"

And there wasn't no egg
unless she laid one.

(imitating Cora) She says,
"Is there a law you can't go out"

"and buy the makings,
you big tramp?"

Ah, the hell with her! She'll
drink booze or nothin'. Oh, jees!

A guy oughta give his
bride anything she wants

on her weddin' day,
I should think.

Pipe the bridegroom, Larry!
All dolled up for the killin'. Aw, shut up.

One week on that farm in Jersey,
that's what I'll give you.

And you'll come runnin'
in here some night yellin'

for a shot of booze because
the crickets is after you.

Oh, jees, Chuck, that
louse Hickey's certainly

made a prize couple
of suckers outta you.

I'd like to give him one sock
in the puss, just one.

Oh, can that!
What's he got to do with it?

And ain't we always
said we was gonna?

So we're gonna, see? And
don't give me no arguments!

If only Cora cut out
the beefin',

and she don't gimme
a minute's rest all night.

It's the same old stuff,
over and over.

(imitating Cora's voice)
Do I really want to marry her?

I says: "Sure, Baby, why
not?" "Yeah," she says,

"but after a week you'll be
thinkin' what a sap you was."

"You'll make that an excuse
to go off on a periodical,"

"and then I'll be tied
for life to a no-good soak!"

"And the first thing
I know you'll have me out"

"hustlin' again,
your own wife!"

Then she'd bust out cryin',
and I'd get sore.

"You're a liar!" I tells her,
"I ain't never taken your dough

"except when I was drunk
and not workin'."

"Yeah," she says, "and how
long will you stay sober now?

"Don't think you can kid me
with that water-wagon bull.

"I've heard it too often!"
That'd make me sore,

and I'd say: "Don't
call me a liar",

"but I wish I was drunk
right now, because if I was,

"you wouldn't be keepin' me
awake all night beefin'.

You opened your yap, I'd knock
de stuffins outta you!"

Then she'd yell:
"That's a sweet way"

"to talk to the girl you're
goin' to marry!"

Jees, she got me
hangin' in the ropes!

I'd like to get a quart
of that redeye under my belt!

Well, why the hell
don't you?

Sure, you'd like that,
wouldn'tyou? I'm wise to you.

You don't wanna
see me get married

and settle down,
like a regular guy.

You'd like me to stay
paralyzed all the time,

so I'd be like you,
a lousy pimp!

Listen! I don't take that
even from you, see?

Yeah? You wanna make
somethin' of it?

Don't make me laugh! I can
lick ten of you with one mitt!

Not with lead in
your belly, you won't!

Hey you, Rocky
and Chuck, cut it out!

Don't let that Hickey
make you crazy.

Keep out of our business,
you black bastard.

Stay where you belong,
you dirty nigger!

You white sons of bitches!
I'll rip your guts out!

(glass shattering)

That's it! Murder each
other, you damned loons!

With Hickey's
blessing!

Didn't I tell you he
brought death with him?

All right, you...
let go of that shiv,

and I'll put
this gun away.

(Hugo giggling maniacally)

Hello, little people!
Never mind.

Soon you will eat hot dogs
beneath the willow trees,

and drink free wine!

The champagne
was not properly iced.

Goddamned liar,
Hickey!

Does that prove
I want to be aristocrat?

I love only
the proletariat!

I will lead them! I will
be like a God to them!

They will be
my slaves!

I'm very drunk,
no, Larry?

I talk foolishness.

I am so drunk, Larry,
old friend, am I not?

I don't know
what I say.

I've never seen you
so paralyzed.

Now lay your head on
the table and sleep it off.

Yeah, I should sleep...
I'm too crazy drunk.

You right, Larry.

Bad luck come in the door
the day Hickey come.

I'm an old
gamblin' man,

and I knows bad luck
when I feels it.

But it's white
man's bad luck.

He can't jinx me.

The bread's cut, and
I finished my job.

Now, do I get
the drink I earned?

Here's the key
to my room.

I ain't
comin' back!

I'm goin' to my own
folks where I belong.

I'm sick and tired of messin'
around with white men.

(glass shattering)
What the hell?

I'm only savin' you
the trouble, white boy!

Now you don't have to break it
as soon's my back's turned,

so there's no
white man can kick about

drinkin' from
the same glass!

I'm tired of loafin' around
with a lot of bums.

I'm a gamblin' man.

I'm gonna get in a big crap game
and win me a big bankroll.

And then I'll get
the okay to open up

my old gamblin' house
for colored men.

And then maybe
I comes back here

sometimes to see
the bums.

And maybe I throws a $20 bill
down on the bar and says:

"Drink it up,"
and listen when

they all pat me
on the back and say:

"Joe, you sure is white,"
but I'll say:

"No, I'm black and
my dough is black man's dough!"

"And you's proud to drink with
me or you don't get no drink!"

Or maybe I'd just says:
"You can all go to hell!"

"I don't lower myself
drinkin' with no white trash."

And that ain't
no pipe dream.

I'll get the money for my stake
today, somewhere, somehow.

If I have to borrow
a gun and stick up

some white man,
I gets it!

You wait and see.

Can you beat the nerve
of that "dinge."

Jees, if I wasn't
dressed up I'd go out

and mop up the street with him.
Oh, let him go.

The poor old dope, him
and his gamblin' house.

He'll be back tonight
askin' Harry for his room

and bummin' me
for a ball.

Then I'll be the one
to smash the glass.

I'll loin him
his place.

Another guy
all dolled up.

Got your clothes
from Solly's, huh, Willie?

Now you can sell it back
to him again tomorrow. (indistinct)

No, I-I'm through
with that stuff.

You look sick, Willie; here,
take a ball, will pick you up.

Eh, no thanks, the only way
to stop is to stop.

I'd have no chance if I
went to the D.A.'s office

smelling of booze.
You're really goin' there?

I said I was,
didn't I?

I just came back here
to rest for a few minutes.

I'll show
that cheap drummer!

I don't need to have to have
any Dutch courage.

But he's, he's been very kind
and generous staking me.

You know, my, my
legs are a bit shaky.

I better sit down
a while.

Here's another one.

Hey, good morning,
gentlemen all.

And a jolly good
morning it is, too.

An eye-opener?
I think not,

Rocky, old chum...
not required, you know?

Feel extremely fit,
as a matter of fact.

Can't say that
I slept much, though,

thanks to that interfering
ass, Hickey,

and that stupid
bounder of a Boer.

I've had about all I can
take from that fellow.

Oh, well, it's my own
fault, I suppose, for allowing

a brute of a Dutch farmer
to become familiar.

Well, it's come
to a parting of the ways.

And jolly
good riddance.

Oh, that reminds me...
here's my key.

I shan't be coming back.

Sorry to be leaving good old
Harry and the rest of you,

of course, but I simply
cannot continue to live

under the same roof
with that fellow.

So Hickey's kidded the pants
off of you, too?

You think you're
leavin' here, huh?

Ja! That's what
he kids himself.

Yes, I'm leaving,
Rocky.

Not that that ass, Hickey,
has anything to do with it.

But been thinking
this over, you know?

Time I turned over
a new leaf.

He's gonna get a job,
that's what he says.

What at,
for Christ's sake?

Oh, anything... not manual
labor, of course.

Anything that calls for a bit
of brains and education.

I'll see a pal of mine
at the Consulate.

He promised me whenever
I felt an energetic fit

he'd get me a post
with the Cunard.

Clark, in the office,
something of that kind.

Ja! At Limey Consulate
they promise anything

to get rid of him when
he comes there drunk.

They're scared to call the
police and have him pinched,

because it would scandal
in the papers make

about a Limey
officer and gentleman.

I only need the post
temporarily, Rocky.

Means to an end,
you know.

Save enough for
a passage...

a first-class passage home,
that's the bright idea.

(Wetjoen laughing)

He's sailing back
to home, sweet home!

That's biggest pipe
dream of all!

What little brain
the poor Limey has left

that isn't in whiskey pickled,
Hickey has made crazy!

Hickey ain't made
no sucker out of you, eh?

You're too
foxy, huh?

But I bet you think you're goin'
out and land a job, too.

I am, ja! For me,
it is easy.

Because I put on
no airs of gentleman.

I'm not ashamed to work
with my hands.

I was a farmer
before the war,

when bloody Limey thieves
steal my country.

Anyone I ask for job
can see with one look

I have the great strength to do
work of ten ordinary mens.

Yes, you remember, Chuck,
he gave us a demonstration

of his extraordinary
muscles last night

when he helped
to move the piano.

You couldn't even
hold up your corner.

It was your fault the damned
box almost fell over.

My hands was sweaty! Could I
help that my hands slip?

I could do whole
weight of it lift!

In old days in Transvaal, I lift
loaded oxcart by the axle.

So, why
shouldn't I get job?

That longshoreman
boss, Dan, he tell me

any time I like,
he'd take me on.

And Benny, from de Market,
he promise me same!

You remember, Rocky, it was
one of those rare occasions

when the Boer
that walks like a man,

spelled with a double "O",
by the way,

was buying drinks when Dan
and Benny were stony.

They'd have promised
him the bloody moon!

(Lewis laughing)
Yeah, yuh big boob.

Them birds was only
kiddin' you.

(pounding bar) That's lie!
You will see, this morning I get job.

I'll show that...
bloody Limey gentleman,

and that liar,
Hickey!

And I need work
only little while

to save money
for my passage home.

I need not much money
because I am not ashamed

to travel steerage.

I don't put on
first-cabin airs!

And I can go home
to my country!

When I get there, they
will let me in! Heh!

There was a rumor
in South Africa

that a certain Boer
officer, if you can call

the leaders of a rabble of Dutch
farmers officers, he kept

advising Cronje to retreat,
and to not stand and fight.

And I was right!
I was right!

He got surrounded
at Poardeberg!

(giggling)
He had to surrender.

Good strategy, no doubt,
but a suspicion

grew afterwards into a
conviction among the Boers

that the officer's caution
was prompted by a desire

for his personal
escape.

His countrymen were
extremely savage about it,

and his
family disowned him.

So I imagine there won't be
any welcoming committee waiting

on the dock... nor any
delighted relatives

making the "veldt" ring
with their happy cries

of "Welcome home,
Gen. Wet..."

All lies!
You Goddamned Limey!

I also have heard rumors
of a Limey officer who

after the war
lost all his money

gambling when he
was drunk.

But they found out it was
regiment money, too, he lost!

Ah, you bloody
Dutch scum!

Cut it out!
Let him come!

I saw them come before!
Modder River, Magersfontein,

Spion Kopje, waving their silly
swords, so afraid they couldn't

show how brave
they was!

And I kill them with
my rifle so easy!

Listen to me,
you Cecil!

Often when I'm drunk
and kidding you I say I'm sorry

I missed you, but now,
by God, I am sober!

And I don't joke, and I say it!
(slamming table) Be God!

You can't say Hickey hasn't got
the miraculous touch to raise

the dead, when he can start
the Boer War raging again!

Well... it's time
I was on my merry way.

The early bird catches
the job, what?

Good-bye and good luck,
Rocky, and the rest of you.

By God, if that Limey
can go... I can go.

Well, why don't
you beat it?

Eh? Oh... just
been thinking.

Hardly the decent thing
to push off without

saying good-bye
to old Harry.

One of the best, old Harry,
and good old Jimmy.

They ought to be
down very soon.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I seem to be
blocking your way out.

No... I will wait to say
good-bye to Harry, too.

Jees, can you beat
them simps!

Oh, hell, I forgot Cora!
She'll be throwin' a fit!

That's right, wait on her
and spoil her, you poor sap!

Psst! Look here,
Parritt.

I'd like to have
a talk with you.

About what?
About the trouble you're in.

Oh, I know, I know,
you don't admit it.

And you're quite right,
that's my advice.

Deny everything,
Say, what the hell are you accusing me of?

Make no statements whatever
without consulting

your attorney,
keep your mouth shut.

Look, you can trust me,
I'm a lawyer.

And it's occurred to me that
you and I ought to co-operate.

Of course I'm... going to see
the D.A. this morning

about a job on his staff,
but... that may take time.

There may not be...
an immediate opening.

And meanwhile it, it would
be a good idea for me to take

a case or two, on my own,
just to prove that

my... brilliant record in law
school was no flash in the pan.

So, why not... retain me
as your attorney?

You're crazy, what do I
want with a lawyer?

Yeah, that's right,
don't admit anything.

But you can trust me, so let's
not beat about the bush.

You got in trouble
out on the coast, eh?

Now you're in hiding,
any fool can spot that.

You... feel safe here, and
maybe you are for a while.

But remember, they
get you in the end.

(Parritt laughing)
I know, from my father's experience.

Nobody could have felt
safer than he did.

When anybody mentioned the law
to him, he nearly died laughing.

But...
You crazy mutt!

(shouting)
You hear that, Larry?

This damned fool here thinks
the cops are after me!

I wish to God
they were.

And so should you, if you
had the honor of a louse!

Oh, and you're the guy
who kids himself he's through

with the Movement; you're
still in love with it!

You mean you're not
in trouble, Parritt?

I was hoping...
Eh, never mind.

No, no offense
meant... Parritt.

That's all right, Willie...
I'm not sore at you.

It's that damned yellow
faker that gets in my goat.

I think I
understand, Larry.

It's really mother that
you still love... isn't it?

In spite of that dirty
deal she gave you.

But what the hell
did you expect?

She was never true to anyone
but herself and the Movement.

But Larry, I can,
I can understand

how you still
can't help feeling.

See, because I still
love her too.

So you see,
I couldn't have

expected that they'd
catch her, Larry.

You gotta believe me that I
only sold them out just to get

a few lousy dollars
to blow in on a whore.

Now there's no
other reason, honest!

For the love of Christ,
will you leave me in peace!

If you don't keep still, you'll
be saying something soon

that will make you vomit
your own soul like a drink

of nickel rotgut
that won't stay down!

Larry, don't go!
You've got to help me!

Set 'em up, Rocky! I swore
I'd have no more drinks

on Hickey, if I died of drought,
but I've changed my mind!

Be God, he
owed it to me!

I'd be blind
to the world now,

if it was the Iceman of Death
himself treating.

What made me say
that, I wonder.

Oh, my God, it fits,
for Death was

the iceman that Hickey
called to his home.

Oh, forget
the iceman gag!

The poor dame
is dead!

Go on
and get paralyzed.

I'll be glad to see one bum
in this dump act natural.

Come and sit
here, Mac.

You're just the man
I wanna see.

If I'm to take
your case, we ought

to have a talk before we leave.
There'll be no talk.

You damned fool,
do you think I'd have

your father's son
for my lawyer?

They'd take
one look at you

and bounce us both
out on our necks.

Hmm!
I don't need a lawyer, anyway.

Hell with the law!

All I've got to do
is see the right ones,

get them to pass
the word.

They will, too,
they know I was framed.

And once the word
is passed,

it's as good as
done, law or no law!

Here's my key,
Rocky.

I'd rather sleep
in the gutter than spend

another night under the same
roof as that drummer.

Son of a drummer!
Well, you birds give me a pain.

It'd serve you right
if I wouldn't give

the keys back
to you tonight.

Hello, everybody!
Here we go!

Hi-Hi-Hickey just told us
ain't it time we beat it,

if we was
really goin'.

So we're showin' the
bastard, ain't we, honey?

He's comin' right down
with Harry and Jimmy.

Jees... them two look like they
was goin' to the electric chair!

Well, let's get
goin', honey.

Before
he comes down.

Sure, anything you say, baby.
Yeah?

Well, I say we stop at
the first regular dump

and, and you gotta blow me
to a sherry flip,

or four or five,
if I want 'em!

Or all bets is off!
But you got a fine bun on now!

Oh, cheap skate.

Well, here, use my money
then, if you're so stingy.

You'll grab it all, anyways,
right after de ceremony.

I know you.

Here, you
big tramp.

Keep your
lousy dough!

And don't show your legs off
to these bums when you're goin'

to be married if you don't
want a sock in the puss!

Oh, all right,
honey!

Say, why don't all you barflies
come to the weddin'?

Well, we're
goin', guys.

Say, Rocky, are you
goin' "deef"?

I said me and Chuck
was goin' now!

Well, good-bye, give
my love to Jersey.

Well, ain't you
even goin' to wish us

happiness, you dirty
little Ginny?

Sure...
here's hopin' you

don't murder each other
before next week.

Oh, baby, what do we
care for that pimp?

Here's Hickey comin'!
Let's get outta here!

(voices of Hickey and Harry
approaching)

Well, here we are, we got
this far at least.

Good work, Jimmy.

I told you you weren't half as
sick as you're pretending to be.

No excuse whatever
for postponing now.

Kindly keep your hands
to yourself.

I merely mentioned
I would feel more fit tomorrow.

But... it might as well
be today, I suppose.

Finish it now so it'll be dead
forever, and you'll be free.

Well, cheer up,
Harry.

You noticed your
rheumatism didn't bother you

coming down the stairs,
didn't you?

You're the damnedest
one for alibis, Governor.

I can't hear you...
You're a liar!

I've had rheumatism
on and off for 20 years.

Ever since Bessie died.
Yes, we all know

it's the kind of rheumatism
you turn on and off.

We're on to you,
you old faker!

Bejees, what are all you bums
hanging round staring at me for?

Why don't you get
the hell out of here

and 'tend to your own business,
like Hickey's told you?

Yes, Harry, I certainly
thought they would have

had the guts to have
been gone by this time.

Or maybe I did
have my doubts.

Because I know exactly
what you're up against, boys.

I know you'll turn into such
a coward that you'll grab

at any lousy excuse not
to kill your pipe dreams.

And yet, as I've said
over and over again,

it's exactly those damned
lying tomorrow dreams

that keep you from
making peace with yourself.

So you've got to kill them,
like I did mine.

Well, come on,
boys, get moving!

Who's going to start
the ball rolling?

Well you, captain,
and you, general.

You're nearest
to the door.

And besides, you're
old war heroes.

You ought to lead
this forlorn hope.

Well, come on, now!
And show us a little

of that old
Battle of The Modder River

spirit we've heard
so much about.

You can't hang around
here all day looking

like you were scared the street
outside would bite you.

Right you are, Mr. Nosey
Bloody Parker!

Time I pushed off.

Was only waiting to say good-bye
to you, Harry, old chum.

Good-bye, captain,
hope you have luck.

Oh, I'm bound to, old chap,
and the same to you.

By God, if that
Limey can, I can.

(Wetjoen grunting)

Well, next?

Come on, Mac.

It's a fine
summer's day.

That's the stuff,
Mac.

Good-bye, Harry, thanks
for all your kindness.

That's
the way, Willie.

Oh, the D.A.'s
a busy man, Willie.

You can't keep him waiting
all day, you know.

Good luck,
Willie.

Now it's your turn,
Jimmy, old pal.

Jimmy.

You can't do that to yourself,
Jimmy, old pal!

One drink on top
of your hangover

on an empty stomach,
you'll be oreyeyed.

Tomorrow... I'll be
in good shape tomorrow!

All right,
I'm going.

Take your hands
off me!

Dirty swine!

(laughing)
All set for an alcohol rub!

I... no hard feelings,
I know how he feels.

I wrote the book!
I've seen the day if...

anybody forced me
to face the truth

about my pipe dreams,
I'd have shot them dead!

Well, Governor...
Jimmy made the grade.

Now it's your turn.

Leave Harry
alone, damn you!

I'd make up my mind
about myself if I

were you, Larry,
and not bother over Harry.

He doesn't need anyone's bum
pity, do you, Governor?

No, bejees! Keep your nose
out of this, Larry.

I've always been going
to take this walk, ain't I?

You bums want to keep me locked
up in here as if I was in jail!

I've stood it
long enough.

I'll do as I
damned please, bejees.

You keep your nose
out too, Hickey.

Bejees, you'd think you was
the boss of this dump, not me.

What the hell's
to be scared of?

Sure I'm all right! Just taking
a stroll around my own ward.

What's the weather like outside, Rocky?
Fine day, boss.

Sorry I can't hear you.

Don't look fine
to me.

Looks if it'd pour down
cats and dogs any minute.

My rheumati...
No, no, must be my eyes.

Half blind, bejees.

Makes things look black;
I see now it's a fine day.

Too damned hot for a walk,
though, if you ask me, eh?

Well, do me good to sweat
the booze out of me.

But I'll have to watch out
for the damned automobiles.

Wasn't none of them
around the last time.

From what I've seen
through the window,

they'd run over you as
soon as look at you.

Well,
so long.

Bejees, where are you, Hickey?
It's time we got started.

No, no, Harry,
can't be done.

You got to keep a date
with yourself alone.

Hell of a guy
you are.

I thought you'd be willing
to help me across the street,

seeing I'm half blind!
Half "deef," too.

I can't hear those
damned automobiles!

Oh, the hell
with you!

I've never, never needed
no one's help and I don't now.

I'll take a good long walk
now I've started.

See all my old friends.

Bejees, they must have
given me up for dead.

But they know it was grief over
Bessie's death that made me...

Well, the sooner
I get started...

You know, Hickey,
that's what gets me.

I can't help thinking
the last time I went out,

was to Bessie's
funeral.

After she'd gone, I didn't
feel life was worth living.

I can't feel it's right for me
to go, even now, Hickey.

It's like I was doing
wrong to her memory.

Now, Governor, you
can't let yourself

get away with
that one any more.

What's that?
I can't hear you.

Bejees, I remember... clear as
day, the last time before she...

(weeping)
It was a fine Sunday morning.

We went out
to church together.

It's a great act,
Governor,

but I know better
and so do you.

You never did
want to go to church

or any place else
with her.

She was always on your neck,
wanting you to have ambition

and go out and do things,
when all you wanted to do

was to get
drunk in peace.

Can't hear a word
you're saying.

He's a God damned
liar, anyway!

Bejees, you son of a bitch!
If there was a mad dog out there

I'd go and shake hands with it
rather than stay here with you!

(whispering to himself)

Jees, he made it!

I'd give you 50 to 1
he'd never...

Oh, he stopped.

I'll bet you he's comin' back.
Of course he's coming back.

By tonight they'll
all be here again,

you dumbbell, that's
the whole point.

No, he ain't neither!
He's gone to the curb.

He's lookin' up and down,
scared stiff of automobiles.

They ain't more
than two an hour

comes down this street,
the old boob!

(door opening)

Bejees, give me
a drink, quick!

Scared me out
of a year's growth!

Bejees, that guy
ought to be pinched!

Bejees, it ain't safe
to walk in the streets!

Give me that bottle.

You seen it, didn't you, Rocky?
Seen what?

That automobile,
you dumb Wop!

Fella driving it must
be drunk or crazy.

He'd run right over me
if I hadn't jumped!

Larry, have
a drink.

Come on, everybody,
have a drink.

Have a cigar, Rocky, I know
you hardly touch it.

This is one time
I do touch it!

And I'm goin'
to get stinko, see?

Well, jees, Harry! I thought
you had some guts!

I was bettin' you'd make it
and show that four-flusher up.

Automobile, hell! Who
do you think you're kiddin'?

There was no automobile!
You just quit cold!

I guess I ought to know!
Bejees, it almost killed me!

Now, now, Governor,
don't be foolish.

You've faced the test
and you've come through,

and you're rid of that
nagging dream stuff now.

You know you can't
believe it any more.

You saw it,
didn't you, Larry?

Have a drink, have another!
Have all you want!

We'll, we'll go, go on a
grand old souse together.

You saw that automobile,
didn't you?

Sure, I saw it, Harry,
you had a narrow escape.

Be God, I thought
you were a goner.

What the hell are you
doing, Larry?

Remember what I told you
about the wrong kind of pity,

now leave him alone!

You'd think I was trying to harm
him, the fool way you act.

Why, there isn't
anything I wouldn't do

for Harry,
and he knows it.

All I wanted was to
fix it so he'd finally be

at peace with himself.

And if you'll just wait until
the final returns are in,

that's exactly what
I've accomplished.

Come on, Governor, what's
the use of being stubborn,

now when it's
over and dead?

Give up that ghost
automobile.

Yeah, what's
the use now?

It's all a lie...
no automobile.

Bejees, something
ran over me.

Must have been
myself, I guess.

I guess
I'll sit down.

Feel all in.

Like a corpse,
bejees.

Hello, Hugo,
coming up for air?

You stay passed out,
that's the right dope.

There ain't any cool
willow trees,

except you grow
your own in a bottle.

(Hugo giggling)

Hello, Harry.

Stupid proletarian
monkey-face!

I will drink champagne
beneath the wi-llow...

But the slaves must
ice it properly!

Goddamned Hickey!

Peddler pimp for
nouveau-riche capitalism!

When I lead the jackass mob
to the sack of Babylon,

I will make them hang
him to the first lamppost!

Good work... I'll help
pull the rope.

Here... have
a drink, Hugo.

Eh, no,
thank you.

I'm too crazy drunk... I hear
myself say crazy things.

Do not listen,
please!

Larry will tell you,
I've never been so crazy drunk.

I must
sleep it off.

What's the matter,
Harry? You look funny.

(exclamatory sighing)

You look dead!

What's happened?
I don't know you!

Listen... I feel
I'm dying, too.

Because I'm
so crazy drunk.

It's very necessary
that I sleep!

I can't sleep
here with you!

You look dead!

Another one who's begun
to enjoy your peace.

Oh, I know
it's rough on him

right now, same
as it is on Harry.

That's just
the first shock.

I promise you they'll
both be all right.

And you believe that?

I see you do,
you mad fool.

Of course
I believe it.

I know from my own
experience.

And now it's my
turn, I suppose?

What is it I'm to do to achieve
this blessed peace of yours?

We've discussed
all of that, Larry.

Just stop lying
to yourself.

You think when I say
I'm finished with life,

and tired of watching the stupid
greed of the human circus,

and I'll welcome closing my
eyes in the long sleep of death,

you think that's
a coward's lie?

Well, what
do you think?

I'm afraid
to live, am I?

And even more
afraid to die!

So I sit here
with my pride drowned

on the bottom of a bottle,
keeping drunk so I won't see

myself shaking in
my britches with fright,

or hear myself whining
and praying:

"Beloved Christ, let me live
a little longer at any price.

"If it's only for a few days
more, or a few hours even,

"have mercy, Almighty God,
and let me still clutch greedily

"to my yellow heart,
this sweet treasure,

"this jewel beyond price,
this dirty, stinking bit

of withered old flesh which
is my beautiful little life!"

You think you'll make me
admit that to myself?

But you just did
admit it, didn't you?

That's the stuff,
Hickey.

Show that
old yellow faker up.

He can't play dead
on me like this.

Yes, you're gonna have
to settle with him, Larry.

I'm leaving you
entirely in his hands.

And he'll do as good a job
as I could at making you

give up the old
grandstand bluff.

Close that big clam
of yours, Hickey.

Bejees, you're
a worse gabber

than that nagging
bitch, Bessie, was.

Jees, did you
hear that?

What's wrong with this booze?
There's no kick in it.

Jees, Larry, Hugo
had it right.

He does look
like he croaked.

Oh, don't be a damned
fool, he's all right.

It's just
the first shock.

You are all right,
aren't you, Harry?

I... I want to
pass out, like Hugo.

It's the peace of death
you've brought him.

That's a lie!

Well, well, you did manage to
get a rise out of me that time,

didn't you? That's just
plain damned foolishness.

Look at me,
I've been through it.

Do I look dead?

Just leave Harry alone
and give him time.

It's just the first shock,
he'll be all right.

He'll be
a new man, like I am.

How's it coming,
Governor?

Beginning to feel
free, aren't you?

Relieved and not
guilty any more?

Hmm, bejees! You must
have been monkeying

with the booze too,
you interfering bastard!

There's no life
in it now.

I wanna get drunk
and pass out.

I'll admit I didn't think
it'd hit him so hard.

He's always been a
happy-go-lucky slob,

like I was.

Well, it hit me hard, too,
but only for a minute.

And then I felt
as if a ton of guilt

had been lifted
off my mind.

I saw what had happened
was the only possible way

for the peace
of all concerned.

What was it happened?
Tell us that.

And don't try
to get out of it,

I want
a straight answer!

I think it's something you
drove someone else to do.

"Someone else?"

What did your wife
die of?

You've kept that
a deep secret.

That's not very
considerate of you, Larry.

But if you insist
on knowing now,

there's no reason
you shouldn't.

It was a bullet through the head
that killed poor Evelyn.

Who, who
the hell cares?

The hell with her and that
nagging old hag, Bessie!

Christ! You had
the right dope, Larry.

You drove your poor wife
to suicide, I knew it.

Be God, I don't blame her!
I'd almost do the same thing

myself to get
rid of you.

It's what you'd like
to drive us all to...

I'm sorry, Hickey,
I'm sorry.

I'm a rotten louse
to throw that in your face.

Oh, that's
all right, Larry.

But don't jump
to conclusions.

I didn't say poor Evelyn
committed suicide.

That's the last thing she'd
have done, while I was

still alive so she could take
care of me and forgive me.

No, if you'd known
her at all,

you'd never have
such a crazy suspicion.

No, I'm sorry to tell you
that my poor wife was killed.

She was murdered?

You're a
liar, Larry!

You must be crazy
to say that to me.

You know damn well
she's still alive.

"Murdered?"
Who done it?

Shut up, you dumb Wop! It's none
of our damned business!

Leave him alone.

Still the old
grandstand bluff?

Or just some more
bum pity?

The police don't know
who killed her yet, Rocky.

But I expect they will
before very long.

How's it coming,
Governor?

Getting over
the first shock?

Beginning to feel
free of guilt

and lying hopes, and at
peace with yourself?

Somebody croaked
your Evelyn, eh?

Bejees, my bets
are on the iceman!

But who
the hell cares?

Let's get drunk
and pass out.

Bejees, what did you do
to the booze, Hickey?

There's no damned
life left in it.

Larry, don't look
like that.

You've got to believe
what I told you!

It had nothing
to do with her!

It was for a few
lousy dollars, honest!

(banging table)
Don't be a fool! Buy me a drink!

But no more wine!
It is not properly iced!

Goddamned stupid
proletarian slaves!

Buy me a drink
or I'll have you shot!

(crying)
Please, for God's sake!

I am not drunk enough!
I cannot sleep!

Life is a crazy
monkey-face.

Always there's blood
beneath the willow trees!

I hate it!

I'm afraid!

Oh, please, please,
please!

I'm too crazy drunk!
I say crazy things!

For God's sake,
do not listen to me!

Do not listen
to me!

(weeping)
I'm afraid!

You're beginning
to worry me, Governor.

Something is holding
you up somewhere,

but I don't see why.

You've faced the truth
about yourself.

You've done what
you had to do

to kill your nagging
pipe dreams.

Oh, I know it
knocks you cold.

But only for a minute.

Then you'll see it was the
only possible way to peace.

And you'll feel happy,
like I did.

That's what worries me
about you, Governor.

It's time you began
to feel happy.

Come on, you
damned nigger!

Beat it in the back room,
it's after hours.

(Joe grumbling)

Oh, the hell with it!
Let the dump get pinched.

I'm through with this
lousy job, anyway.

Been scrappin',
huh?

Started off on your periodical, ain't you?
Yeah, ain't you glad?

That I'm out on my feet
holdin' down your job?

You said if I'd take your day,
you'd relieve me at 6:00.

And here it's
1/2 past 1:00 A.M.!

Well, you're takin'
over now, get me?

No matter how
plastered you are!

Ah, "plastered?"
Hell, I wish I was!

I've lapped up a gallon,
but it don't hit me right.

And the hell with the job!
I'm goin' to tell Harry

I'm quittin'!
Yeah? Well, I'm quittin' too.

I've played sucker for that
crummy blonde long enough,

lettin' her kid me into workin';
from now on I take it easy.

I'm glad you're gettin'
some sense.

Yeah, I hope you're
gettin' some.

By the way, the prize
sap you've been,

tendin' bar when you got two
good hustlers in your stable.

Yeah, but I ain't
no sap now.

I'll loin them, when they
get back from Coney.

Jees, that Cora sure
played you for a dope.

Feedin' you that
marriage-on-a-farm hop!

Yeah, Hickey got it right,
a lousy pipe dream.

It was her pullin' sherry
flips on me woke me up.

All the way
walkin' to the ferry,

every gin mill we come to
she'd drag me in to blow her.

I got thinkin' "Christ,
what won't she want when"

she gets the ring on
her finger and I'm hooked?

So I tells her at the ferry:
"Kiddo, you can go"

"to Jersey or to hell,
but count me out!"

She says it was her
told you to go to hell,

because you start
hittin' the booze.

I got thinkin' too
"Jees, won't I look sweet"

"with a wife that if you put
all the guys she stayed with"

"side by side,
they'd reach to Chicago."

That kind of dame,
you can't trust 'em.

The minute your back
is turned, they're

cheatin' with
the iceman or someone!

Hickey done me a favor,
makin' me wake up!

Only it was fun, kinda,
me and Cora kiddin' ourselves.

Say, where is that
son of a bitch Hickey?

I want one good sock
at day guy, just one!

And the next buttin' in he'll
do will be in the morgue!

I'll take a chance on goin'
to the chair! Piano!

Keep away from
him, Chuck.

He ain't here now, anyway;
he went out to phone, he said.

I got a hunch he beat it,
but if he does come back,

you don't know him if anyone
asks you, get me?

The chair, maybe that's
where he's goin'.

I don't know nuttin',
see? But it looks

like he
croaked his wife.

You mean she really
was cheatin' on him?

Then I don't blame the guy!
And who's blamin' him?

Is any of the gang wise?
Larry is.

And the boss
ought to be.

I tried to wise the rest
of them up to stay clear of him,

but they're all so licked,
I don't know if they got it.

Oh, I don't give a damn
what he done to his wife.

But if he gets the hot seat
I won't go into no mournin'.

Me, neither. Not after his
throwin' it in my face I'm a pimp.

What if I am? And what's
he done to Harry?

Jees, the poor
old slob is so licked

he can't even get drunk!
And all the gang.

I couldn't help feelin'
sorry for the poor bums

when they showed up
tonight, one by one,

lookin' like pooches with
their tails between their legs

that everyone'd been
kickin' 'till they

was too punch-drunk
to feel it no more.

Jimmy Tomorrow
was the last.

Schwartz, the copper,
brung him in.

Seen him sittin' on the
dock on West Street,

lookin' at the water
and cryin'.

Schwartz thought he was drunk,
and I let him think it.

But he was cold sober;
he was tryin' to jump in

and didn't have
the nerve, I figured it.

Jees, there ain't
enough guts left

in the whole gang
to battle a mosquito.

Oh, to hell with 'em!
Who cares? Gimme a drink.

I see you been hittin'
the redeye too.

Yeah, but it don't do no good,
I can't get drunk right.

This dirty "dinge" was able to
get his "snootful" and pass out.

Jees, even Hickey
can't faze a nigger.

You'd think he was fazed
if you'd seen him come in.

Stinko, and he pulled
a gun and said

he'd plug Hickey
for insultin' him.

Then he dropped it
and began to cry,

and said he wasn't a gamblin'
man or a tough guy no more.

He got drunk panhandlin' drinks
in nigger joints, I suppose.

I guess they felt
sorry for him.

He ain't got no business
in the bar after hours.

Why don't you
chuck him out?

Oh, to hell with it! Who cares?
Yeah, I don't.

Excuse me,
white boy.

I don't want to be
where I'm not wanted.

(Chuck)
My pig's in the back room, ain't she?

I wanna collect the dough
I wouldn't take this mornin',

like a sucker,
before she blows it.

(Rocky)
I'm comin', too, I'm through workin'.

I ain't no
lousy bartender.

I'm waitin', baby, dig!
Yeah.

I been expectin' you,
I got it all ready here.

Jees, imagine me
kiddin' myself

I wanted to marry a drunken pimp.
That's nothin', baby.

Imagine what a sap
I'd have been when I

can get your dough
just as easy without it.

Hello,
Old Cemetery.

Hello, Tightwad,
you still around?

Ask Larry.

He knows I'm here, all right,
although he's pretending not to.

He'd like to forget
I'm alive!

He's trying
to kid himself

with that grandstand
philosopher stuff.

But he knows he can't
get away with that now!

He kept himself
locked up in his room

until a while ago, alone
with a bottle of booze.

He couldn't
make it work, though,

he couldn't even get drunk!
So he had to come out.

There must have been
something up there

he's even more scared
to face than me and Hickey.

I guess he got looking
at the fire escape.

Thinking how handy it was,
if he was really sick of life

and only had
the nerve to die!

And he's been thinking
about me too, Rocky.

He's trying to figure a way
to get out of helping me.

He loved her too,
so he thinks I ought

to take a hop off
the fire escape.

For God's sake!
Can't you say something?!

Larry!

Larry... I think what
Hickey must have done

has got me so I don't know
any more what I did or why.

(crying)
I can't go on like this!

I've got to do
what I got to do!

God damn you! Are you trying
to make me your executioner?

Execution?

Then you, you
think I...

I don't think anything.

I... I suppose you think
I ought to die, uh?

Because I sold out
a lot of loudmouth fakers?

Ha!

Don't make me laugh!
I ought to get a medal!

Oh, you little sap!

You must still
believe in the Movement.

Hickey's right about
him, isn't he, Rocky?

An old no-good drunken
tramp, as dumb as he is,

ought to take a hop
off the fire escape.

Sure, why don't he?
Or you, or me?

Oh, what the hell's
the difference? Who cares?

What am I doin' here
with "youse" two?

I remember I had somethin'
on my mind to tell you, what?

Oh, I got it now.

I was thinkin' how you
was both regular guys.

I thinks "Ain't two guys
like them saps to be hangin'"

"around like a couple of stew
bums and wastin' themselves?"

What do you think, Parritt?
You ain't a bad-lookin' guy.

You could easy
make some gal

who's a good hustler,
and start a stable.

And I'll help you
and wise you up

to the inside dope
on the game.

Well,
what about it?

What if they do
call you a pimp?

I don't want anything
to do with whores!

I wish they were all
in jail or dead!

All right,
stay a bum!

Well, how about you,
Larry? You ain't dumb.

Sure, you're old,
but that don't matter.

All the girls think
you're aces.

They fall for you
like you were their uncle

or old man,
or somethin'.

They like takin'
care of you.

And the cops around here,
they like you too.

You wouldn't have to worry
where the next drink's

comin' from, or wear
dirty clothes.

Well... don't it
look good to you?

No, it doesn't
look good, Rocky.

I mean, the peace
Hickey's brought you.

It isn't contented
enough, if you have to

make a pimp
of everyone else.

I'm a sap to waste
my time on you.

A stew bum
is a stew bum.

Like I was sayin' to Chuck,
if anyone asks you,

you don't know nothin'
about Hickey, get me?

You never even heard
he had a wife.

Jees, we all ought to get drunk
and stage a celebration

when that bastard
goes to the chair.

Be God, I'll
celebrate with you.

Drink to his long,
long life in hell.

The poor devil!

No, that's pity,
the wrong kind.

He'll welcome
the chair.

Yes, what are you so damned
scared about death for?

I don't want
your lousy pity.

(Rocky)
I hope he don't come back, Larry.

We don't know
nothin' now.

We're only
guessin', see?

But if that bastard
keeps on talkin'...

He'll come back and
he'll keep on talking.

He's lost his confidence
that the peace he's sold us

is the real McCoy, and it's
made him uneasy about his own.

He'll have to prove to us...
That's a damned lie, Larry.

I haven't lost
confidence.

By God, when I made up my mind
to sell someone something

I thought they ought
to want, I've sold 'em.

I mean, I don't think is very
kind of you to make that kind

of a crack when I've been
doing my best to help.

Keep away from me,
will you?

I don't know nothin'
about you, see?

Well, how is it
coming, everybody?

I'm sorry I had to leave you
for a little while,

but there was something
I had to get finally settled.

It's all fixed now.

When are you going
to do somethin'

about this booze, Hickey?
We can't pass out,

and you
promised us peace!

Yes, yes!
I wonder why that is.

For God's sake,
Harry! You're still

harping on that
same damn nonsense?

You've kept it up
all afternoon and night,

and you got everybody else
singing the same crazy tune!

I've had about all I can
stand, that's why I phoned.

Excuse me, boys and girls,
I-I don't mean that.

It's just that I
worry about you

when you play dead
on me like this.

I was hoping by
the time I got back

you'd be like
you ought to be.

I thought you were deliberately
holding back on me before

when I was here, because
you didn't want to give me

the satisfaction of showing me
that I had the right dope!

And I did have, I know
from my own experience.

But I've explained that
a million times.

Now you've all done
what you needed to do.

By rights you should be
contented with yourself, and

free from the lying hopes and
nagging dreams that torment you.

But here you are,
sitting around like

a lot of stiffs
cheating the undertaker!

I can't figure it...

unless it's just your damned
stubborn pigheadedness.

Oh, hell... don't act
like this with me, gang!

You're my old pals,
the only friends I've got!

You know, the one
thing that I want

is to see you
happy before I go.

And there's damned
little time left now.

I've made a date
for 2:00 o'clock.

So, we've got to get busy right
away and find out what's wrong!

Can't you appreciate what
you've got, for God's sake?

Don't you see you're free
to be yourselves now,

without feeling
remorse or guilt,

or having to lie to yourselves
about reforming tomorrow?

Don't you see?
There is no tomorrow now!

You're rid of it forever,
you've killed it!

You don't have to care
a damn about anything any more!

You've finally got the game of
life licked, don't you see that?

Then why the hell don't you get
drunk and sing "Sweet Adeline"?

Why don't you laugh and
celebrate, and get pie-eyed?

The only reason I can think
of is you're putting on

this rotten half-dead act
just to get back at me,

because you
hate my guts.

God, don't do
that, gang!

It makes me feel like hell
to think that you hate me.

Makes me feel that you
suspected that I hated you.

But that is a lie!

Oh, I know I used to hate
everybody in the world

that wasn't as rotten
a bastard as I was,

but that's when I
was still living in hell!

Before I faced
the truth.

And saw the one possible way
to free poor Evelyn,

and give her the peace that
she'd always dreamed about.

Oh, put a bag over it!
To hell with Evelyn.

What if she
was cheatin'?

And who cares what you did
to her? That's your funeral.

We don't give
a damn, see?

All we want
outta you is keep

the hell away from us
and give us a rest!

The one possible way
to make up to her

for all that I
made her go through,

and get her rid
of me so that I

couldn't make her
suffer any more,

and she wouldn't have
to forgive me again.

I saw I couldn't do it
by killing myself,

like I wanted to
for a long time.

That would have been
the last straw for her.

She'd have died
of a broken heart

to think that I
could do that to her.

She'd have blamed
herself, too.

Or I just couldn't
run away from her.

She'd have died
of grief and humiliation

if I'd done
that to her.

She'd have thought
I stopped loving her.

You see... Evelyn
loved me, and I loved her.

That was the trouble.

Oh, it would have been easy
to find a way out

if she hadn't
loved me so much.

Or if I hadn't
loved her.

But as it was, there was
only one possible way.

I had to kill her.

Mad fool! Can't you
keep your mouth shut?

We may hate you for what
you've done this time,

but we remember the old times,
when you brought laughter

and kindness here
instead of death!

We don't want
to know things

that will make us help
send you to the chair!

Oh, shut up!

You yellow faker! Can't
you face anything?

Wouldn't I deserve
the chair too if I...

It's, it's worse
if you kill someone

and they have
to go on living.

I'd be glad
of the chair.

It'd wipe it out and
square me with myself.

I wish you'd get rid
of that bastard, Larry.

I can't have him
pretending there's something

in common between
him and me.

It's what's in your
heart that counts.

And there was love
in my heart, not hate.

You're a liar!

I don't hate her!
I couldn't!

And anyway, it had
nothing to do with her!

You ask Larry!

God damn you, stop shoving
your rotten soul in my lap!

Don't worry about
the chair, Larry.

I know you're still
terrified by death.

But when you've made peace
with yourself, like I have,

you won't give
a damn.

Listen, everybody.

I've made up my mind, the only
way I can clear this up for you,

so you'll realize how contented
and carefree you ought to feel,

now that I've made you
get rid of your pipe dreams,

is to show you what a pipe dream
did to me and Evelyn.

And I'm certain, if I tell you
about it from the beginning,

you'll appreciate what I've
done for you and why I did it.

And how damned grateful
you ought to be,

instead of hating me.

You see, even as
kids, Evelyn and me...

(banging glass on table)
All we want is to pass out and get drunk,

and a little peace!

(approving whispering
and glasses banging tables)

All right, if that's
the way you feel!

I don't want to cram
it down your throats!

I don't need to tell anyone,
I don't feel guilty.

I'm only worried
about you.

What did you do
to this booze?

That's what
we'd like to hear.

Ain't that right,
Jimmy?

Yes,
quite right.

It was all a stupid lie,
my nonsense about tomorrow.

Naturally they would never
give me my position back,

that I would never
dream of asking them.

I didn't resign, I was
fired for drunkenness.

And it was absurd of me
to excuse my drunkenness

by pretending it was my wife's
adultery that ruined my life.

As Hickey guessed, I was
a drunkard before that.

I discovered early
in life that living

frightened me
when I was sober.

I've even forgotten
why I married Marjorie.

I had some idea of
wanting a home, perhaps.

But, of course, I, I much
preferred the nearest pub.

Why Marjorie married me,
God knows.

She soon found that I much
preferred drinking all night

with my pals to being
at home in bed with her.

So naturally...
she was unfaithful.

And I was glad
to be free.

Even... grateful
to her, I think,

for giving me such a...
a good tragic excuse.

In the back room
if you wanna drink.

A guy named Hickman
in the back room?

Think I know the names...
Listen, you! This is murder.

It was Hickman himself
who phoned in and said

we'd find him here
around 2:00.

So that's who
he phoned to.

Yeah, he's in there,
and if you want

a confession all you
got to do is listen.

You can't stop
the bastard talkin'.

I've got to tell you,
your being this way

now gets my goat,
and it's all wrong!

It puts things
in my mind.

It makes me think that if I
got balled up about you,

then how do I know I wasn't
balled up about myself?

And that is just plain
damned foolishness.

But when you know the story
of me and Evelyn, you'll see

it was the only possible
way out, for her sake.

Only I've got to start
way back at the beginning,

otherwise
you won't understand.

You see, even as a kid
I was always restless.

I had to keep
on the go.

You've heard the old saying
that "Ministers' sons"

"are sons of guns?" Well,
that was me and then some.

Home was like a jail.

Listening to my old man whooping
up hell fire and scaring

those Hoosier suckers into
shelling out their dough

only handed me a laugh! Although
I gotta to hand it to him,

the way he sold them
nothing for something.

I guess I take after him,
and that's what made me

a good salesman;
well, like I said,

home was like jail,
and so was school,

and so was that damned
hick town.

The only places I liked
were the pool halls,

where I could smoke
Sweet Caporals

and mop up
a couple of beers, eh?

Thinking I was a
hell-on-wheels sport.

We had one hooker
shop in town.

Of course I
liked that, too.

Not that I hardly ever
had the entrance money.

My old man was
a tight old bastard.

But I liked to sit around in the
parlor and joke with the girls.

And they liked me too,
because I kid 'em along

and make 'em laugh.

And you know how
a small town is.

Everybody
got wise to me.

They said I was
a no-good tramp,

but I didn't give
a damn what they said.

I hated everybody
in the place.

That is,
except Evelyn.

And I loved Evelyn,
even as a kid.

And Evelyn loved me.

Larry, I loved mother!
No matter what she did!

I still do!
Yes, sir, as far back as I can remember,

Evelyn and I
loved each other.

She always
stood out for me.

She wouldn't believe the gossip,
or she pretended she wouldn't.

No one could convince her
that I was no good.

Evelyn was stubborn as hell
once she made up her mind.

You know, even when I'd admit
things and ask her forgiveness,

she'd make excuses for me
and defend me against myself.

And she'd kiss me,
she'd say that she knew

that I wouldn't do it again
and I said that I wouldn't.

And I'd promise,
I'd have to promise.

She was so damn
sweet and good.

Yet I knew
darned well...

No, sir, you couldn't
stop Evelyn!

Nothing on Earth could
shake her faith in me!

Even I couldn't!

She was a sucker
for a pipe dream.

Well, naturally, her family
forbid her seeing me.

(laughing)

They were one of the town's
best, rich for that hick burg.

They owned the trolley line
and the lumber company.

Strict Methodists, too;
oh, did they hate my guts!

Even they couldn't
stop Evelyn.

And she'd sneak notes to me
and we'd meet me on the side.

But I was getting
more restless.

The town was getting
more like a jail.

I made up my mind
to beat it.

I knew exactly what I wanted
to be by that time.

I met a lot of drummers around
the hotel, and I liked 'em.

They were always
telling jokes, eh?

They were sports, always on
the move, I liked their life.

And I knew I could kid people
and sell things.

The hitch was, how to get the
railroad fare to the Big Town?

Hell, I... I told
Mollie Arlington my trouble.

She was the Madame
of the cathouse.

She liked me.

She laughed and she said:
"Hell, I'll stake you, kid.

"I'll bet on you, with that grin
of yours and that line of bull

you ought to be able to sell
skunks for good ratters."

Yeah, Mollie
was all right.

She made me feel
confident in myself.

Well, I paid her back too,
first money I earned.

I remember sending her
a kidding letter saying

that I was peddling
baby carriages, and she

and the girls had better
get in on our bargain offer!

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

That's getting
ahead of my story.

That last night
before I left town...

I had a date
with Evelyn.

I got all worked up.

She was so pretty
and sweet and good.

I told her straight.

I said: "You better forget me,
Evelyn, for your own sake."

"I'm no good
and I never will be."

And I broke down
and cried.

And she just said,
looking white and scared:

"Why, Teddy, don't you
still love me?"

And I said:
"Love you?

"God, Evelyn, I love you more
than anything in the world.

And I always will."

And she said: "Nothing
matters, Teddy."

"Because nothing but death
could stop my loving you.

"So when you're ready you send
for me, and we'll be married.

"And I know I can
make you happy, Teddy.

"And when you're happy,
you won't want to do

any of those bad things
you've done any more."

And I said: "Of course
I won't, Evelyn."

And I meant it,
I believed it.

I loved her so much she could
make me believe anything.

(Harry) You married her, you caught
her cheating with the iceman,

and you croaked her,
and all we want

is to pass out
in peace, bejees!

(everyone whispering)
So I beat it to the Big Town!

I got a job easy,
it was a cinch for me

to make good,
I had the knack.

It was like a game,
sizing people up quick,

spotting what their pet
pipe dreams were,

and then kidding 'em
along that line.

Pretending you believed
what they wanted

to believe
about themselves.

Then they liked you,
they trusted you.

They want to buy something
to show their gratitude.

It was fun!

But still, all the while
I felt guilty, as though

I shouldn't be having such
a good time away from Evelyn.

In each of my letters I'd
tell her how I missed her,

but I'd warn her, too;
I'd tell her about my faults.

How I liked my booze every now
and then, and so on.

But you couldn't shake
Evelyn's belief in me,

or her dreams
about the future.

And then after each one
of her letters,

I'd be as full of
faith as she was.

So when I got enough saved
to start us off,

I sent for her
and we got married.

Christ, wasn't I
happy for a while!

And wasn't she happy.

I don't care what anybody says,
I'll bet there were never

two people who loved each
other more than me and Evelyn.

Not only then,
but ever afterwards.

In spite of everything I did.

Well, it's all
there at the start,

everything that happened
afterwards.

Though I never could
learn to handle temptation.

I'd want to reform
and mean it.

Then I'd promise her,
and I'd promise myself,

and I'd believe it.

I'd even tell her:
"It's the last time, Evelyn."

And she'd say: "I know it's
the last time, Teddy."

"You'll never
do it again."

And that's what
made it so hard!

That's what made me
feel such a rotten skunk!

Her always
forgiving me.

My playing around
with women, for instance.

It was just a harmless
good time to me.

It didn't
mean anything,

but I'd know what it
meant to her!

So I'd swear
to myself "Never again."

But you know how it is,
traveling around,

those damned
hotel rooms.

You get to seeing things
in the wall paper.

I'd get so damn bored,
so lonely and homesick.

But at the same time,
sick of home.

I'd feel free, I'd want
to celebrate a little.

Well, I never drank on the job
so it had to be dames, any tart.

What I'd want
was some tramp that I

could be myself with,
without being ashamed.

Someone I could tell a
dirty joke to and she'd laugh!

(girly giggling)

Jees... all
the lousy jokes

I've had to listen to
and pretend was funny.

Sometimes I'd try
a joke that I thought

was a real corker
on Evelyn!

And she'd always
make herself laugh.

But I could tell she thought
it was dirty and not funny.

And she always knew about
the tarts that I'd been with

when I came home
from a trip.

She'd kiss me and look
in my eyes, and she'd know.

And I could see in her eyes
her not wanting to know.

And telling herself: "Even if
it is true, he can't help it."

"They tempt him, he's
lonely, he hasn't got me.

"It's only his body,
he doesn't love them.

"I'm the only one he loves,"
and she was right, too!

I never loved anyone else!
Couldn't if I wanted to.

She forgave me even when it all
had to come out in the open.

You know how it is when you
keep taking chances.

You may be lucky
for a long time,

but you'll get nicked
in the end.

I picked up a nail
from some tart in Altoona.

Yeah, and she picked it up
from some guy.

It's all in the game.

I had to do a lot of lying
and stalling when I got home,

but it didn't do
any good.

The quack I went to
got all my dough,

and he told me I was cured,
and I believed him.

But I wasn't...
and poor Evelyn.

But she did her best to make me
believe that she fell for my lie

about how... traveling men
get things from drinking cups

on...
on trains.

Anyway, she
forgave me.

The same way she forgave me
every time I'd show up

after a periodical
drunk!

And you all knew
what I'd look like

after one of those,
you saw me!

Like something lying
in the gutter

that no alley cat would
lower himself to drag in!

Something they threw out of
the D.T. ward at Bellevue!

Along with the garbage,
something that should be dead!

But isn't.

Evelyn wouldn't have heard
from me in a month or more.

She'd been waiting
there alone.

The neighbors feeling
sorry for her out loud

and shaking
their heads.

That was until she got me
to move to the outskirts,

where there weren't
any next-door neighbors.

Then the door would open...
and I'd stumble...

looking like
what I've just said.

Into her home, that she always
kept so... spotless and clean.

And I'd sworn it would
never happen again!

And now I'd have
to start swearing again

that this was
the last time!

I could see disgust
having a battle in her eyes

with love,
but love always won!

She'd make her-self...
kiss me!

As though nothing
had happened.

As though I'd just come home
from a business trip.

She'd never complain
or bawl me out.

Christ, can you imagine what a
guilty skunk she made me feel!

If only once she admitted that
her pipe dream about tomorrow,

and my behaving myself
would never be any good!

But she wouldn't!

She was stubborn
as hell!

Once she'd set her mind on
anything, you couldn't shake

her faith that it had
to come true tomorrow!

It was the same old story, over
and over, for years and years.

And it kept piling up,
inside her and inside me.

God, can you picture
what I made her suffer?

And all the guilt that
she made me feel?

And how I
hated myself?

If she only hadn't been
so damned good!

If she'd been the same kind
of wife that I was a husband.

God, sometimes I used
to pray that she'd...

I'd even say to her:
"Go on, why don't you, Evelyn?"

"Serve me right, I wouldn't
mind, I'd forgive you."

Of course I'd pretend
I was kidding.

The same way
I used to joke here

about her being in the hay
with the iceman.

She'd have felt so hurt
if I'd said it seriously.

She'd have thought
I'd stopped loving her.

I suppose you think I'm a liar,
that no woman could have stood

all she stood
and still loved me so much.

That it isn't human for a woman
to be so pitying and forgiving!

Well, I am not lying!

And if you'd ever seen her,
you'd realize that I wasn't.

It was written
all over her face:

Sweetness, love,
pity, forgiveness.

Although, wait,
I'll... show you.

I always carry
her picture.

No, I'm forgetting...
I tore it up afterwards.

I didn't need it
any more.

Jees, Hickey!
Jees!

I burnt up mother's
picture, Larry.

Her eyes kept following
me around all the time.

They seemed to
be wishing I was dead!

It kept piling up,
like I've said.

I got so I thought
about it all the time.

And I hated myself
more and more,

thinking of all the wrong
I'd done to the sweetest woman

in the world
that loved me so much!

It even got so I'd curse
myself for a lousy bastard

every time I saw
myself in the mirror!

I felt such pity for her
it drove me crazy!

You'd never believe
it, would you, Larry?

A guy like me that's
knocked around so much

could feel such pity!

It got so
every night I'd...

wind up hiding
my face in her lap,

bawling and begging
for forgiveness.

Of course she'd always
comfort me and say:

"Never mind, Teddy,
I know you won't ever again."

Christ,
I loved her so.

But I began to hate
that pipe dream!

I began to think
I was going bughouse!

Because sometimes I couldn't
forgive her for forgiving me!

I even caught myself
hating her

for making me
hate myself so much!

You know, there's a limit
to the guilt you can feel

and the forgiveness
and pity you can take!

You have to begin blaming
somebody else, too!

It got so...

sometimes,
when she'd kiss me,

it was like she was
doing it on purpose...

to humiliate me...

as if she'd spit
in my face!

But I saw how crazy
and rotten that was of me!

And I just hated
myself more and more!

You'd never believe that I could
hate so much!

Ah, Larry? A good-natured,
happy-go-lucky... slob like me.

As the time got nearer to
when I was due to come here

for my drunk around Harry's
birthday, I got nearly crazy.

I kept swearing to her
every night that this time

I really wouldn't,
until I'd made it

a real final test
to myself and to her!

And she kept encouraging
me and saying:

"I can see you really
mean it now, Teddy."

"I know you'll conquer it this
time, and we'll be so happy."

And when she'd say
that, and kiss me...

I'd believe
it, too.

Then she'd go to bed,

and I'd stay up because
I couldn't sleep.

And I didn't want
to disturb her,

rolling and twisting around;
I'd get so damned lonely!

I'd get to thinking
how peaceful it was here.

Sitting around with
the old gang, getting drunk

and forgetting about love;
laughing and singing

and joking,
and swapping lies.

And finally I knew
I had to come.

And I knew if I came this time,
it would be the finish!

Because I'd never have
the guts to go back

and be forgiven again! And that
would break Evelyn's heart.

Because to her
that would mean...

I didn't love
her any more.

That last night
I'd driven myself crazy

trying to figure
a way out for her.

I went into
the bedroom.

I was going to tell her
it was the end.

But I couldn't
do that to her.

She was sound asleep.

And I thought
"God, if only she'd"

"never wake up,
she'd never know."

And then it came to me.

The one possible way out,
for her sake.

I remembered I'd given
her a gun for protection

while I was away...
it was in the bureau drawer.

She'd never feel any pain, she'd
never wake up from her dream.

So I...

so I killed her.

I may as well
confess, Larry.

There's no use lying any more;
you know, anyway.

I didn't give
a damn about the money,

it was because I
hated her.

And then I saw that
I'd always known

that was
the only possible way

to give her peace,
and free her

from the misery
of loving me.

And I saw it meant peace for me,
too, knowing she was at peace.

I felt as though a ton of guilt
was lifted off my mind.

I remember I stood by the bed
and suddenly I had to laugh.

I couldn't help it, and I knew
Evelyn would forgive me!

I remember I heard
myself speaking to her,

as though it was something that
I'd always wanted to say:

"Well, you know what you can do
with your pipe dream now,"

"you damned bitch!"

No! I never...
Yes, yes, that's it!

Her and that damned Movement
pipe dream! Eh, Larry? No, that's a lie!

Good God, I could
have never said that!

If I had, I'd have
gone insane!

Why, I loved Evelyn better
than anything in life!

Boys, you're
all my old pals!

You've known old
Hickey for years!

You know that
I could never...

Harry! Harry, you've known me
longer than anybody else!

You know that I must have been
insane! Don't you, Governor?

Who the hell cares?

(excited tone)
"Insane?"

You mean you went really insane?
Yes!

Or I couldn't have laughed! I
couldn't have said that to her!

That's enough,
Hickman!

You know who we are,
you're under arrest.

Come along and spill your guts where...
Don't touch me!

You owe me a break!
I phoned and made it

easy for you, didn't I?
Just a few minutes!

Harry, you know I couldn't say
that to Evelyn, don't you?

Unless...
And you've been crazy ever since?

Everything you've said and done here...
Now, Governor!

Up to your
old tricks, eh?

I see what you're
driving at, but I ca...

Yes, of course,
Harry!

Ahh!
I've been out of my mind ever since,

ever since
I've been here!

You saw I was insane,
didn't you?

(Moran)
Can it! I've had enough of your act.

Save it for the jury.

Now listen, you guys,
don't fall for his lies.

He's starting to get foxy now
and thinks he'll plead insanity.

But he can't
get away with that.

Bejees, you dumb dick!

You've got a crust trying
to tell us about Hickey.

We've known him for years,
and every one of us noticed

he was nutty the minute
he showed up here.

If you'd seen the damned-fool
things he made us do!

We only did
them because we...

because we, we hoped
he'd come out of it,

if we kidded him
along and humored him.

Ain't that right,
fellas?

That's right!

A fine bunch of rats!

Covering up for a dirty,
cold-blooded murderer!

Is that so?

Bejees, you know
the old story.

When Saint Patrick drove
the snakes out of Ireland,

they swam to New York
and joined the police force!

Ha, ha!

(snickering laughter)

You stand up for your
rights, bejees, Hickey.

I've still got friends
at the Hall.

I'll have this guy
back in uniform

pounding a beat,
where the only graft

he'll get will be stealing
tin cans from the goats.

(everybody laughing)

Listen, you cockeyed old bum!
For a plugged nickel I'd...

Come on, you.
Oh, I want to go, officer.

I can hardly
wait now.

I should have phoned you from
the house right afterwards.

It was a waste
of time coming here!

I've got to explain to Evelyn,
but I know she's forgiven me.

She knows
I was insane.

You've got me
all wrong, officer.

I want to go to
the chair.

Crap!

God, you're
a dumb dick!

Do you suppose I
give a damn about life now?

Why, you bone head.

I haven't got a single damned
lying hope or pipe dream left.

Don't worry, Hickey! They
can't give you the chair!

We'll testify you was crazy!
Won't we, fellas?

Yeah, sure.
Sure!

You'll be
all right, Hickey.

He's gone... poor
crazy son of a bitch.

Bejees, I need
a drink.

Maybe it'll have the
old kick now he's gone.

Yeah, boss, maybe
we can get drunk now.

May the chair bring him
peace at last,

the poor
tortured bastard!

Yes, but he isn't the only one
who needs peace, Larry.

I can't feel
sorry for him.

He's lucky.

He's through now,
it's all decided for him.

I wish it was
decided for me.

I've never been any good
at deciding things.

Even about selling out,
it was that tart that

the detective agency got after
me that put it in my mind.

You remember
what Mother's like, Larry.

She always decided
what I must do.

She made all
the decisions for me.

She doesn't like anyone
but herself to be free.

I suppose you think
I ought to make

those dicks take me
away with Hickey.

How could I
prove it, Larry?

They'd think I was nutty
'cause she's still alive!

You're the only one who can
understand how guilty I am.

Because you know her, you know
what I've done to her.

You're the only one
who can understand

that I'm much
guiltier than he is.

That what I did
is a much worse than murder

because she is dead,
and yet she has to live!

For a little while... but she
can't live long in jail.

She loves her
freedom too much.

I can't kid myself
like Hickey...

that
she's at peace.

As long as she lives,
she'll never be able

to forget what I've done
to her, not even in her sleep.

She'll never have
a second's peace.

Jesus, Larry,
say something!

I'm not bluffing either
that I was crazy...

afterwards when I
laughed and thought to myself.

"You know what you can do with
your freedom pipe dream now,

"don't you, you damned old bitch."
Go!

Get the hell out
of life, God damn you!

Before I choke it
out of you!

Go up... go up!

(sighing)
Thanks, Larry!

I can see now
that's the only

possible way I can ever
get free from her.

I guess I've
known that all my life.

(laughing nervously)

Oh!

It ought to give mother
a little comfort, too.

She'll finally be able
to play the incorruptible.

Mother of the Revolution, whose
only child is a proletariat.

She'll be able to say:
"Justice is done!

"So may all traitors die!"
She'll be able to say...

"I'm glad
he's dead!"

"Long live
the Revolution!"

You know her, Larry,
she's always a ham!

Go, for the love of Christ!
You mad tortured bastard,

for your own sake!

Thanks, Larry,
that's kind.

I knew you were the only one who
could understand my side of it.

(giggling)

Hello, little Don,
little monkey-face!

Don't be a fool,
buy me a drink.

Sure I will,
Hugo.

Tomorrow, beneath
the willow trees.

Stupid fool! Hickey make
you crazy, too.

I'm glad, Larry, they take that
crazy Hickey away to asylum.

He makes me
have bad dreams.

He makes me tell
lies about myself.

He makes me want to spit
on all I've ever dreamed.

Yes, I'm glad they
take him to asylum!

(sighing)

I don't feel
I'm dying now.

He was selling death to me,
that crazy salesman.

I think I have a
drink now, Larry.

Bejees, fellas, I'm feeling
the old kick or I'm a liar!

It's putting life
back in me.

It was Hickey that
kept it from...

Bejees, I know that sounds
crazy but he was crazy,

and he got all of us
as bughouse as he was.

It's dangerous, too.

Look at me, pretend
to start for a walk

just to keep
him quiet.

I knew damned well it wasn't
the right day for it.

The sun was broiling

and the streets full
of automobiles.

Why, I could feel
myself getting sunstroke.

An automobile damn
near ran over me.

Didn't it, Rocky?
He was watchin',

ask Rocky, didn't it?
The automobile, boss?

Sure, I seen it,
just missed you!

I thought you
was a goner!

On the word of an
honest bartender!

You're a bartender,
all right.

And no one
can say different.

But bejees, don't, don't
pull that honest junk.

You and Chuck ought to have
cards in the Burglars' Union!

(everybody laughing)

Bejees, it's good to hear
someone laugh again.

All the time that bastar...
Eh... poor old Hickey was here,

I didn't have
the heart...

Bejees, I'm getting drunk
and glad of it!

Come on, fellas,
it's on the house!

(man giggling)

Ah... that poor
old Hickey.

We mustn't hold him responsible
for anything he's done.

We'll remember him the way
we've always known him before:

The kindest, biggest-hearted guy
that ever wore shoe leather. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the best.
Fine chap, fine chap!

Good luck to him
in Matteawan!

Come on, bottoms up!

Christ!
Why don't he?

"Why don't he"
what?

Ah, don't be a fool,
Hickey's gone!

He was crazy!
Here, have a drink.

What's the matter
with you, Larry?

You look funny.

What do you listen for
out in backyard?

Well, I thank God now
that me and Chuck did

all we could to humor
the poor nut.

Imagine us goin' off like we
really meant to get married,

when we ain't even
picked out the farm yet!

(men giggling)

(laughing) Sure thing, baby!
We kidded him we was serious.

I may as well say,
though, I detected

his condition almost at once!
Yeah.

All that talk of his
about tomorrow, for example.

He had the fixed idea
of the insane!

It only makes them
worse to cross them!

Same with me, Jimmy, only I
spent the day at the park.

I wasn't such a
damned fool as to...

(laughing)

Pic-picture my predicament
if I had gone to the consulate.

The pal of mine there is
a bit of a humorous blighter.

He'd have gotten me a job
out of pure spite.

So I strolled about, and finally
came to roost in the park.

And lo and behold,
who should be on

the neighboring bench
but my battlefield companion,

the Boer that walks
like a man!

(cheers and someone clapping)

Who, if the British Government
had taken my advice,

would have been removed from
his fetid corral on the "veldt"

straight to the baboon's cage
in the London Zoo!

And little children would
now be asking their nurses:

"Tell me, nana,
is that the Boer General?"

"The one with
the blue behind?"

(uproarious laughing)

No offense meant,
Piet, old chap.

No offense taken,
you... damned Limey!

(glasses clinking)

(laughing)

About the job, I felt
the same as you, Cecil.

(Wetjoen spits
and laughing continues)

What's the matter,
Larry?

You look scared!

What you listen for
out there?

No, sir.

I wasn't fool enough
to get in no crap game,

not while
Hickey's around.

The crazy people
put a jinx on you!

It was of no good trying
to explain to a crazy guy,

but it ain't
the right time!

Hey! You know how
getting reinstated is.

Bejees,
I'm cockeyed!

Bejees, you're
all cockeyed!

And bejees, we're
all all right!

Let's have another.

What's the matter,
Larry?

Why you keep
eyes shut?

Huff!
You look dead!

What you listen for
in backyard?

You crazy fool!
You give me bad dreams, too!

Hello there,
Hugo!

(rattling and laughing)

Welcome
to the party!

Yes, bejees, Hugo!
Sit down, have a drink!

Have ten
drinks, bejees!

(uncontrollable giggling)

Hello, little Harry!

Hello, nice funny
little monkey faces!

Goddamned stupid
bourgeois!

(loud cheering)

Soon comes
the Day of Judgment!

(laughing and cheering)

Give me
ten drinks, Harry.

Don't be a fool!

Gangway for two
good whores!

(everybody cheers)

Yeah! And we want
a drink, quick!

Yeah, yeah! Shake the lead
outta your pants, pimp!

A little service, eh?
Well, look who's here!

Hello there,
sweethearts.

Jees, I was beginnin' to
worry about you, honest!

Yeah? What kind
of gag is this?

Come on and join
the party, you broads!

Bejees, I'm glad
to see you!

Hey, what? Come on!
What's come off here?

Where's that
louse, Hickey?

(laughing)
Oh, the cops got him.

He's gone crazy
and croaked his wife.

Oh, Jees!

So forget about
that whore stuff.

I'll knock the block off
if anyone calls you whores.

You're tarts, and what
the hell of it?

You're as good
as anyone.

Eeeh!
So forget it, see?

That's our little bartender!
Ain't he, Pearl?

Yeah, and a cute
little Ginny at that!

And is he stinko!

Stinko is right, but he ain't
got nothin' on us!

Jees, Rocky, did we have
a big time at Coney!

Bejees, sit down,
you dumb whores!

Welcome home,
have a drink.

Have ten drinks,
bejees!

Bejees, this
is all right!

We'll make this my birthday
party, and forget the other.

But who's missing?
Where's the Old Wise Guy?

Where's Larry?

(Rocky)
Oh, over by the window, boss.

Ah?
He's got his eyes shut!

The old bastard's asleep!
Oh, to hell with him!

Let's have a drink.

(glasses clinking)

(unintelligible conversations)

It's the only way
out for him.

For the peace of all
concerned, as Hickey said.

God damn his yellow soul!

If he doesn't soon, I'll
go up and throw him off...

like a dog with
its guts ripped out

that you'd put
out of its misery!

(everybody laughing
and talking merrily)

(loud thudding noise)

(screaming and exclamations)

What the hell was that?
What the hell was that?

Something fell off
the fire escape.

A mattress,
I'll bet!

Some of these bums have been
sleepin' on the fire escape!

There ain't no...
They've got to cut it out!

Bejees, this, this, this
ain't no... fresh-air cure.

Mattresses
cost money.

Poor devil!

God rest his soul
in peace.

(laughing and giggling)

I'll never be a success in the
grandstand or anywhere else.

Life is too much for me.

I'll be a weak fool,
looking with pity

at the two sides of everything
'till the day I die,

and may that day
come soon!

I'm the only real convert
to death that Hickey made here.

From the bottom of my coward's
heart, I mean that now.

Hey there, Larry! Come on
over and get paralyzed!

What the hell you
doing, sitting there?

Bejees, let's sing,
let's celebrate!

Bejees, it's
my birthday party!

Bejees, I'm oreyeyed!
I want to sing!

* Every Sunday down
to her home we go *

* All the boys and all
the girls they love her so *

(everybody joins in)
* Always jolly heart that is true I know *

* She is the Sunshine
of Paradise Alley *

* By yon bonnie banks
and by yon bonnie braes *

* Where the sun shines
bright on Loch Lomond *

* Where me and my true love
will never meet again *

* On the bonny, bonny
banks of Loch Lomond *

* I will take the high road
and I'll take the low road *

* And I'll be in Scotland
before ye *

* But me and my true love
will never meet again *

(Hugo growling loudly)
* On the bonny bonny banks of Loch Lomond *

* "Dansons la Carmagnole!
Vive le son des canons! *

* "Dansons la Carmagnole! Vive
le son des canons! *

* "Dansons la Carmagnole!
Vive le son des canons!" *

"The days grow hot,
O Babylon!"

(cheering and chanting)
"'Tis cool beneath thy willow trees!"

(laughing and giggling)

(old timey piano music)

*