The Grand Grandmaster (2020) - full transcript

In the twilight of the sung dynasty,

emperor chiu bing fled south
and died for the country.

Ma ka lui thunder,
the head of the four royal guards,

was stranded in Hong Kong.

He taught his many talents
to the town people.

More than 800 years has passed,

ma ka thunder style
was passed through generations,

well-known in the kung fu world.

To this day,

the 19th successor, ma fei lung,

gifted and blessed,



lives the soul of ma ka thunder style.

Tough, hardworking, talented, virtuous,

he becomes the grandmaster.

Man

stance

united as

one

Ma ka thunder school,

with three facilities in Hong Kong,

has thousands of students.

Famous worldwide.

In the new summer semester,

for students in need,

we offer a 15 % off early bird special.



Limited seats. First come first served.

Ma ka thunder style!
Martial arts with virtue!

Oh is that fa fei lung?

Master ma!

- Hi!
- Good morning master ma.

Morning!

Heading to class?

Yes.

Work hard.

Taxi!

I was first.

Grandpa, watch your hand.

What hand?

Don't blame me, if you move again.

Blame who?

Who?

Ahh.

Someone hit an old man!

How dare you bully an old man?

Ridiculous. He's elderly.

That's the one hit the old man.

Ridiculous. He's elderly.

Fine my bad. Get up.

Again? He hits me!

You could kill me!

I didn't!

Record it. Post it online.

Let go.

Why would you hit people?

Grandpa, are you alright?

He took my taxi and grabbed me.

Nonsense.

Wow.

I don't fight women.

Because you are afraid of
being beaten by women.

You know how to fight some? Let's practice!

Free show! Free show!

Get him! He deserved it.

What a charred face!

"Now the grandmaster is
just the 'grand'grandmaster"

"I love boxing goddess."

"Goalll my boxing goddess!"

The boxing goddess!

How can you be that good?

He's a grandmaster.

Nothing special.

Just a man.

Excuse me.

The hero was doxxed online.

Turns out, not only can she fight,

her name is tough too.

A role Bruce Lee and Donnie yen played,

the name is,

chan tsang

chan tsang is from a boxing family.

Her mom was a taiwanese boxing champion.

As an former amateur boxer,

chan tsang held a 40 win streak.

Her signature move is
the sugar cane hacking hand,

same move she used against ma fei lung.

Only lost once in a professional game,

she decided to retire.

Retired.

Master ma,

many people online felt bad for you.

They think you deserve a proper match

to retrieve your reputation.

Want to set me up? No way.

Ms reporter,

our ma ka thunder style,

causes damage with fists,
feet, elbows, knees. Hips.

She is a boxer,

only relies on hands, right?

It isn't fair to her.

You mean you can't defeat her,

you mean you can't defeat her,

with your bare fists?

What a dog-eat-dog world, I can handle it.

Organizing a formal
martial arts competition

is not as simple as you think.

You need Avenue,

and an authoritative referee.

All these resources are required.

If she still wants to host,

I'll be there.

No problem,

our channel will arrange it.

- Master ma, chan tsang is really tough.
- Hey teach him a lesson.

- She had won 40 amateur bout,
- A surefire win.

- She had won 40 amateur bout,
- Db energy

- and retired after losing once.
- Has a hottie like me,

- and retired after losing once.
- Plus your boxing skills,

- money will come rolling in.
- And retired after losing once.

- What do you think?
- Money will come rolling in.

Thank you for thinking of me so highly.

One retired with only one loss,

two reasons.

One, got married.

That's normal for a lady.

Stay home, cook and clean.

Boxing is a high profile career.

What's the second reason?

She gave up with one loss

means she knows she is
no material for the professional game.

Unconfident. Scared.

Maybe...

Or some hidden...

I don't know then.

Countdown for the fight of the century.

If she goes, I go.

See you in the ring.

- New TV. Explore. Expose. Explode.
- Fighting with such a cripple

equals to stepping on an ant.

Chan tsang's here!

Run! Run!

Oh no! Please no!

Run! Run!

Don't go!

Master,

what were you dreaming?

Lucky it's a dream.

The students were all gone.

Master,

you have been absent for two days.

No one came.

None.

Those who paid an annual
fee required a refund.

Fix it, siu wan.

I did master.

- Big bro, what should we do?
- Forgive us!

Put them on the ground first.

This one is wet.

All wet. All wet.

That one too..

Arr, all wet.

That one.

Master,

sh...

I, ma fei lung,

for all ancestors from ma ka thunder style,

will fight at all cost.

Even if 'm dashed to
pieces, reduced to ashes.

Jab.

One two.

Com'on...

I am out of breath.

Ms chan you don't need to hurry,

I bought you for two hours.

Relax. Jab slow.

Double jab.

Dang! It's tiring to jab like this.

When can I jab you?

Hook.

No hook!

No real jab no hope. Bathroom break.

Last time you just took advantage.

Sugar cane hacking hand.

No need to overdo it.

Chan tsang!

Recognize me?

Yup.

Today is not your day.

Sorry it was too strong.

Again.

Not bad.

Boxing huh.

Waiting for your hacking hand.

Sugar cane hacking?

I don't believe

this can't break your hacking.

But safety measures are always good.

Asking you to spar is harder
than asking a girl out.

Thank you champ.

Sure boxing goddess.

I paid a special trip
for a boxing tutorial.

Oh cooking and cleaning too.

Just kidding.

"Ma ka thunder school"

Master, your peers are here.

Good news big bro.

Still fresh.

We talked to the us Navy seals,

ma ka thunder style,

in the near future,

is very likely,

may be included in the
anti-terrorism martial arts syllabus.

How about our us branch?

The flyers are ready.

When is the grand opening?

Well,

the economy in us is overrated.

Our original plan,

needs to be delayed a bit.

But! Once the market turns better,

we will start.

Don't get us wrong.

This little delay

has nothing to do with you

being beaten.

What "being beaten"?

Big bro, you must have had a cold that day.

Otherwise you could
definitely block that hacking hand.

I couldn't fight her. For real.

Then it must be a cold with a fever.

Siu ling!

Here!

Sugar cane hacking hand right?

Try me.

What, you attack like that?

Aim here.

I have the control!

Forehead, nose, throat. All mine.

The other hand.

Try moving.

Can't.

Can you escape?

- No.
- Can't you escape right?

Left.

Right.

So fake.

But it's indeed ma ka style.

I will sent you there.

And that's what my dad taught me too.

Could it be, our ma ka style...

Always fake fighting?

Save that thunderbolt hand.

Thunder chief gust should be enough.

Siu ling

which side?

Right.

Ready.

That's left!

Your right.

Can't you tell left and right?

Is that right?

My turn.

Don't blame me, fists
and feet have no eyes!

Are you scared?

Yes!

As taught, focus on feet
or fists, not both!

I haven't kicked yet.

Sorry.

Big bro doesn't need our lecture.

He was just being kind to
the hacking hand girl.

More than that. Kind-heartedness.

From a female perspective,

I am sure,

that woman was on her period.

Big bro couldn't bare to hurt her.

Correct?

I wanted to kill her that day.

Siu ling!

Fight me!

Ok!

Show your colors.

It's broken. Broken.

Get up first.

Ok.

True colors.

Why are you stopping?

I can attack your head,
middle and lower now!

If you still hide your cards,

I will expel you.

Whoops big bro you let him again.

I can see your kindness big bro.

Text you after the us school is settled.

Yeah!

- Master let me help.
- Go away.

What ma ka move did you use?

Probably nothing from us.

I used muay that's tek sai

muay thai huh.

The second move was side kick from karate.

Karate.

The last one was reverse kick

from taekwondo.

Seems,

I am unqualified to teach you.

Yes you do master.

You are so all-rounded.

Why do you stay in the ma family?

I owe you a debt of gratitude.

You think highly of me.

You know,

I am under one person in
ma ka thunder school,

second in command.

I have food and a room.

I tried living outside
but the world is so difficult.

I understood you treat me really well.

And I pray for you daily.

Leave.

Wait master.

Just leave!

Master stay furious hurts!

Call me after you cool down.

Siu ling will always be there.

My number 93999399.

I stay in the ma family,

because of ma ka thunder style's

history and reputation.

Although the p/e is
temporarily slightly high.

Although the p/e is
temporarily slightly high.

The bvps is still reasonable.

I am optimistic longrun-wise.

It's worth to hold long term.

How come that drip

became a downpour?

You said you fixed it.

I did master.

Then where's the water from?

That is some smart water.
It will always find a way.

You. You track it down.

Seems to be there.

Maybe here.

Over there.

Have virtue like water.

Did you hear that?

I did.

What did you hear?

Heard you ask me did I hear.

Did you hear someone say,

have virtue like water.

Nope.

But I know the origin of the statement.

You put water into a cup.

It becomes the cup.

You put water into a bottle.

It becomes the bottle.

You put water into a teapot.

It becomes the teapot.

Water can flow, or it can crash.

Have virtue like water, my friend.

Master...

Have virtue like water, don't cling.

Jap. Duck. One two.

Not bad. You made good progress.

Let's call it a day.

Thank you master chan.

Not to me, to ms ling.

Thank you ms ling.

You volunteer all your spare time

to teach the kids.

I'm fine with you using the equipment,

as they don't need a rest.

But you, you do.

Got it. I can handle. Time for lesson.

Here's another newbies,

attracted by the charm
of the boxing goddess.

Hello.

Hello.

Ah you.

I bought you for an hour.

Miss, you are beautiful
and good at kung fu.

That was a misunderstanding.

Why do we let those

information... technology...

Nasty stuff,

make use of us?

We are the victims.

They are just eating popcorn and watching.

Who cares about who really wins or loses?

I can tell,

you will keep your promise.

You said you will fight, for sure you will.

Right?

I won't let you fight for nothing.

A small stack to take a punch.

What do you think?

How many punch, how much money,

all up to you.

Of course,

the result leans a bit to my side.

Awesome. What a happy ending.

Woody.

Thank this uncle. He paid for your tuition.

Thank you uncle!

- What tuition?
- Go register now.

What's that?

Mr, time's up.

You bought me for an hour you said.

I don't care. You took my money.

It's a yes then.

Yes I took it and I recorded it.

You want me to announce to the world

that you tried to fix the fight?

You set me up.

Pardon? I set you up?

Oh repeat it?

You misunderstood.

What?

Misunderstood! Misunderstood!

Hi ms chan.

You probably saw me discuss
investing here with your boss.

This place is for running.

Ms chan.

I thought you saw me,

discuss investing here with your boss.

From now on

I may become your boss.

You know.

We hope there's no confrontation

between the employer and employee.

We are a team, aren't we?

Ms chan. Ms chan!

Please have mercy.

I am innocent.

Ma ka thunder style
is a 800 year-old old heritage.

Ms chan, and I carry the torch.

We have three locations.

Within a night,

they turned deadly silent.

Ms chan, look at me.

We are an average family.

Three of us.

Look how cute my kid is.

I live hand to mouth.

I can starve,

but my kid can't.

Right ms chan?

"Up to 90 % off"

"Since 1283"

Are you ma fei lung?

Who are you?

Aunt, should be here.

Be careful tsang tsang

Ms,

can I help... you?

Dad!

What a distinctive bone structure! Good!

Thank you master!

Distinctively useless!

Thank you master!

Dad why are you here?

Are you ok brother?

What's wrong?

I haven't been that happy for ten years.

Master! Take a seat.

Grandmaster, please.

Hold it.

Grandmaster?

Then we are family.

May I have your name?

He is my brother.

You call him master.
Then I am your aunt master.

Nice to meet you aunt master.

Hi big sister.

Dad,

what's going on?

How dare you ask!

I trained you in person.

40 win streak.

And you gave up after one loss.

No one remembers me since then.

I can fix this useless
man and he defeats you,

the world will know

the best coach in Asia is me!

Iron chan!

Dad, that's a villain.

I was a misunderstanding master!

Shut up useless!

Yes master.

He wants me to stage a fight.

Of course, when he is
no match for his rival.

But from now on, he has me.

You better be prepared.

Clever master, glorified student.

Dad!

I made my decision.

For now,

I'm staying to train this useless guy.

Oh useless.

Yes sir!

Yes master.

Go to my place, pack for me and move here.

Yes sir!

The flowers smell sweet.

I'll use the toilet.

No toilet here.

Brother's clothes are all here.

What a delightful day!

Last time he was that excited,

was when he married the Taiwan girl.

Sorry sorry.

No the Taiwan girl, your mom.

Oh you are a Taiwan girl...

Told you I
am not a Taiwan boy...

Do you get it?

Brother found a disciple.

Finally!

Like a virgin girl

met her virgin boy.

Finally I met you.

All these years,

no one knows how lonely she is.

Regardless how good one is,

one needs a partner

to prove it.

Time to head back.

Wait!

What exactly do you want?

What "what I want?"

The fact is

master approached me.

I just cater to his demand.

That's cheap!

Or,

I can ask him to leave.

You go back first.

I will visit my brother tomorrow.

It's hard to be nice.

What's the matter?

Wake up.

For what?

Training.

What is the essense of ma ka thunder style?

Fist has emptiness, pull
and release like a bow.

Hands crossed, protect
the groin like a lock.

Steps as if on nails, advance
and retreat lightly.

Bend forward.

Bend back.

Up!

Man should be one with his stance.

Thank you for induglging me.

What the?

Your ma ka thunder steps,

should rename ma ka crab steps.

Only go sideways.

Doesn't move forward or backward.

Again?

You just guard the groin.

How about your face.

Correct.

Now I train your useless hands,

then your useless legs.

From this minute on,

hands level with face.

I will punch you if you put them down.

What?

Use the iPad if you want.

What's up?

Give me some soup.

Yes master.

Dad.

Looks yum!

I thought of taking you guys out.

But we also can help ourselves.

Grab some food.

Master ma.

She's fiercer than a mantis.

Do it for your master.

Master,

your seat is too bright.

How about we change it?

I forgot to put on sunscreen.

Good idea.

Master, please sit down.

The closer I look, the more delicate he is.

This incense should belong to gods.

How improper for a human to smell.

Ridiculous!

What's wrong dad?

What's wrong master?

How can a soup mix

be so delicious?

Soup mix? You bought it?

No... not only the soup mix.

Every dishes on the table

are products of ma ka thunder style.

"Wide selection of goods just for you"

more than just food?

Yes, wide selections.

Our latest product is
ma ka thunder clippers.

Ma ka thunder clippers?

Ma ka thunder nail clippers.

For you. Hope you like it.

Thanks.

Literally a ma ka thunder clippers!

And you literally sell everything.

Do you have ma ka thunder... pads?

Ginseng, red date, cinnamon, wolfberry.

Ma ka thunder pads.

For real! Amazing.

You are so cheap!

Take a pack, if you wish.

I would rather die.

I should be the one dying

thanks to you those are overstocked.

You asked for it.

Asked for what?

Nothing.

Nothing? Then eat.

Dad, I lost my appetite. Excuse me.

What? I haven't had a bite.

Bye bye. Wait for me.

No appetite? I'm starving.

Lighter please.

Get up.

Time for training.

We are not playing with this today.

Today we will play with this!

Invented by iron chan, me,

the boxing footwork chasity belt.

Trademarked.

As the name implies,

it's tailored for footwork training.

Try what I just taught you,

boxing steps.

Now try to

move in ma ka style.

I raised it by ten cm.

If you move randomly,

best of luck!

No master...

My legs feel like jelly.

Shoes off!

Take your time. I go nap.

Lucky I have kung fu foundation.

I shrink quick enough!

This is not the right track.

Master, dinnertime.

- Hold me.
- Ok.

Be careful.

I'm doing it anyway. The more the better.

Monk-buster?

It could kill an elephant.

Let's see how long my shy monk can hold.

Ar fa!

Coming brother!

Take it slow.

Siu wan.

She doesn't let me go.

As young and strong as you,

should give me a hand.

- Won't kill you.
- Master,

no, that's mine.

Silly. This one, and that
one has no different.

So does that one and this one.

Take this bowl if you like.

- Here you go.
- Eh! We're done.

Most important,

don't mix up,

give her back that bowl.

No, I... I...

I prefer having mine back.

Now which one belongs to me?

Master, look like you have the special one?

Let's eat!

Come. Sit. Drink.

Does he have it?

No, unless it's a yes.

Look fine.

Why don't you drink it?

Really the jackpot?

Yes. Unless it's a no.

Holy...

Why him, not him?

It could kill an elephant.

Take your time. Ohh no...

That's such big... trouble.

Oh...

Dad.

Let's head home. See a doctor.

I'm good.

Give me two days.

These two days, substitute for me.

Dad!

I had waited for such a
chance for ten years.

My ambition is to train this useless man.

Fine! If you don't want to help me!

So? Ready to practice?

We can't fake a match.

But we can fake a practice right?

It's not like I don't want to.

My butt hurts so much that I can't.

Jab harder!

Yes master!

Sorry.

Where's the noise?

I twisted my arm.

Big sister let me take a break.

For how many minutes big sister?

How long you say?

Go. Go. Go.

Go. Go. Go.

Three minutes.

Good.

Good.

One.

Two.

Double jab.

It's really tiring to jab
like this all day long.

When can I "jab" for real?

Aren't you bored to
repeat this every class?

If it's a good "jab" how can I be bored?

Here's your jap.

Get off of me! Heavy!

Dad I quit.

He's real horrible.

I won't teach me, neither should you.

These clothes...

Master gave them to me.

Luckily I'm not him.

He's in the hospital.

For what?

What happened? Which one?

Don't worry.

Old person problems, regular checkup.

He will be back soon.

But if he hears what you said...

You know elderly,

heart doesn't function that well.

Ms chan.

Your dad...

Is so eager to train me to defeat you,

that means the result is set, doesn't it?

Training without results is training.

Training with an expected result,

is a rehearsal.

I even planned for you.

Your sugar cane hacking hand,

just like that day on street,

you hack from here,

I dodge

and drag.

This side could kill,

other side, people will think it hurt.

I pull down,

push and flip.

Are you done?

Women are strange.

Have virtue like water, right.

Why so stiff?

Ms chan

Sorry ms chan.

Serious...

I don't want to put you through this.

I'm trying to tell you,

the result doesn't matter.

What matters is that you
are comfortable losing

of course,

losing is never comfortable.

But if you don't lose,

your dad and I will be
even more uncomfortable.

The hardest part for now,

is to make you comfortable,

so does your dad and I.

It's hard to be a win-win situation.

But!

We can.

As long as we work together.

Nothing is impossible.

Possible.

No win. No loss. No draw.

I call that comfy.

Pointless.

No win. No loss. No draw.

Sound pretty comfy.

Excuse me.

Right away.

Taxi!

So many freaks in Hong Kong.

Ten more dollars!

Pardon me.

Are you ok?

Did he hurt you?

I'm fine now.

We made up! You can go.

Maybe you can take this one first.

That's the idiot?

Idiot? What?

I am her husband.

You are a passing thing.

Idiot!

I am the destination!

Here you go again!

What destination?

So old fashioned.

We already split up.

We are done. Ok?

Of course I talked to him like this.

We are soulmates my wifey.

Don't call me wifey.

Don't call

or text me everyday.

Don't contact me anymore.

That midnight,

was that you peeping from the lamppost?

You scared me!

I was freak out! Scared!

I can change to somewhere
more hidden, wifey.

Stop that wifey thing!

Wifey.

Even you are not my wife today.

We are family.

Don't you understand?

We are not family.

Mei,

you can joke about other stuff.

You, water and I are always family.

I, am not yours.

Your son, isn't yours either.

Alright?

You are always like that,

say whatever when you lose temper.

All these years, how can I not know you.

Go have fun.

I'll leave you alone. Enjoy.

Ma fei lung.

Focus and listen.

Your son, Walter's daddy, last name yu.

Not you.

And my son is Walter.

Not w ater.

You are always "water".

Main point, we are not family.

Ok, not family, now.

Go have lots of fun!

Bye bye!

Bye bye.

Hello w ater!

Happy birthday.

How can daddy forget?

We share the same birthday.

Daddy just sent you $200.

Have a feast with your classmates.

Don't leave a penny,

or I won't let you off.

Deal. Love you 3000.

You haven't paid yet.

Sorry. Sorry.

Master ma,

let's go home.

To make up for master's birthday.

I propose a toast!

Bottoms up. Drink his share as well.

Bottoms up.

More!

Here, drink his share as well.

Bottoms up. Drink his share as well.

Still?

Birthday is a happy day!

Let's play a game.

Secret time!

Secret time! Drink up!

This one is top secret.

Secret time... drink up!

I am still a virgin.

Me...

Me too.

L... prefer not to.

Your turn

your turn.

You call those secrets?

The grand grand-virgin is me.

We married for a year,

and I was still a virgin.

Ya, the house was under renovation.

Yup, too old fashioned.

Oh and the candles were
shipping from Italy.

This is a true secret.

No no no!

I tell you

I, chan tsang, only lost once.

You know why?

Because, I fixed a fight.

My ex asked me to.

My dad had a stroke.

I needed the money.

Then that bastard stole the money.

Since then,

I haven't fought.

But my dad was mad.

Said I gave up easily.

Said I was too cowardly to bare losing.

Do you know,

he has been mad at me for 10 years?

No choice but to suffer in silence.

No choice but to suffer in silence.

My son's not mine.

I knew it.

Never told anyone.

Never ever.

The kid is innocent.

He's my son anyhow.

That guy. She couldn't... recall his name.

Yu, David yu!

He owns a French restaurant.

307 Wellington St!

That's the way it is.

I know where my ex is too.

What can I do with it?

Being human is hard.

You really have his address?

7g, no 4, 7 sis road.

What are you doing? You gone mad?

Those bastards. Swindlers.

Don't deserve to live. Give it to me.

No!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

Give me the blade!

No!

Give the blade back to me.

Give it back!

No!

Yes.

Return it!

Last night...

Were you drunk?

Not sure...

You?

As drunk as a skunk.

That wasn't fair...

Everything was a blur.

Then...

What do you want?

Hmm...

Better...

Rematch.

Fei lung?

Are you uncomfortable?

How can I be not comfortable?

I was comfortable for days.

Just the more comfortable I am,
the less the situation is.

I know everything about you.

How can I ask you to stage a fight.

I can't bear that.

We are like this now.

Be straightforward.

You were right.

If we want everyone to be comfortable.

Unless that match is

"no win. No loss. No draw."

But... how?

For you, I can do it.

I have an idea.

I'll drop out.

That's really comfortable!

You ok?

I am ok.

That nut came back for her scarf.

You kept her scarf?

I told her,

no scarf.

Her pads maybe.

You kept her pads?

Metaphor. Purely a metaphor.

How about this photo?

Keepsake for good old days?

Don't stand in our way!

Tsang tsang.

I just

talked to her seriously.

Time changed me. I am not the same.

What's wrong? Where are you going?

See. You promised him to drop out.

He got what he wants.

He is shameless in his pursuits.

And he has hurt tons of woman.

Or I wouldn't treat him like this.

It is good to be optimistic.

You... you knew her.

She's not a normal person.

How come you believe her?

Then why should I believe you?

From day one

you wanted to fix a fight.

Which one is the real you?

Save your breath. Let's go.

Wait master? How about the training?

You let me down.

I tolerated you skipping practice

but drugging my soup!

It was a misunderstanding... really.

Don't think I only teach!

Dad, let's go.

What's the trick now?

Why did you talk rubbish to her?

Which "her"?

My girlfriend!

Oh my boyfriend left.

I came back and you got a girl.

What should I do?

It's not fair!

It is pointless to keep pressing the bell.

Don't waste time. Leave.

Tsang tsang

master...

How come you are here?

Master... here's what she said,

I can no longer tell the truth.
If you beat me... let's talk

that's it?

The end. Master.

Make it easy for me.

Hey!

- Hey.
- If I beat her? Let's talk?

- Let us handle it.
- If I beat her? Let's talk?

- You know I can't defeat you.
- Give me a hand.

That means no talk.

State clearly.

You fixed a match to heal your dad.

You can be silent for 10 years.

But how about us?

Mute for ten years too?

We are adults!

We talk!

What's that?

Actually master,

is not as smart as you think.

He never lies to others.

He only lies to himself.

But sometimes

when he lies to himself

he accidentally lies to others.

Are you helping or insulting him?

You guys can stop.

At least until he defeats me.

You know he can't

please calm down first.

I am chill.

The only way for me to trust him,

is for him to beat me in the ring.

He could defeat me

means he is not lying.

Sounds logical.

And sensible.

Yes.

My man returns.

Bye.

Have virtue like water.

Excuse me... how to get to 2A rocky rd?

Thank you!

That's right!

Jason you are so hot!

Oh my! Keep that pose!

My prince charming!

Jason you are the sexiest!

Master, get up first please.

Siu ling

master.

Siu ling

master.

Stop calling me master!

I understand the true meaning of
have virtue like water.

Don't be stubborn.

It's not about the styles of kung fu.

Whatever can beat chan tsang

is the best kung fu.

Master!

You're my last hope!

Oh my! How artistic! More! Snap and go!

Stop shooting!

No pictures!

Hey! You haven't paid yet!

Even you shot! Don't post online. Please!

Master. No worries.

This is no formal boxing match.

If you can't handle, run.

Leave the ring and keep running.

Run to the audience. Grab a seat and rest.

Why don't I stay home then?

Master. I knew it.

Once upon a time,

when Ali vs. Japanese wrestler inoki,

inoki understood he wouldn't win
if he kept standing.

So for 15 rounds

he stayed on the ground

and kicked and swept.

He didn't win. Nor lose.

With the title of grandmaster,

isn't it embarrassing

to fight laying on the ground?

My bad.

Don't you get it?

I am not interested in a trick.

Master.

Then back to the basic.

Try me.

Back then, I rely on...

Clutch this ice under your armpit,

will get you to the perfect upper stance.

Master.

Soon you will clutch pneumonia,

please take a break.

No way.

Master.

I suggest we work on footwork today.
Not hands.

What... footwork?

Back then, to change from
ma ka thunder steps,

to boxing footwork,

I found a shortcut.

What shortcut.

Easy peasy

with a split.

Almost master! Almost there!

No no

- hold.
- Can't.

Almost there.

When can I be there? It hurts.

Two, three months.

You said shortcut!

Anything shorter?

Like how short?

Of course can't be a day.

How about two?

Master. Master.

I found this oscillation therapy online.

Bro siu ling,

we count one two three

then press down.

Ok!

Good.

Ready.

One two.

Wait!

If one two three then press.

What's the duration of that "then"?

A second.

A second.

Ready.

One two.

Wait!

A second is tick tock.

You two try to tick tock.

Tick...

Tick tock.

Tock.

Exactly!

Your tick is different from your tock.

How about,

I count one two three.

You guys press at three.

Got it?

Got it.

I repeat.

I will count one two

"man stance united as one"

How come you have our
ma ka thunder manuals?

I saw them in your house.

Borrowed it when I left.

Did I not tell you?

You couldn't absorb anything new,

because heartfully,

you deny ma ka thunder style is useless.

I studied the collection,

days and nights,

closely carefully with detail.

Discovered that ma ka thunder style

is indeed very powerful.

If you have the horse.

Proof?

800 years ago,

your ancestor ma ka lei thunder,

served as a military arts champion,

spent his entire life on horses.

All his kung fu,

is applicable on horseback.

The ma ka thunder stance,

"step like as if on nails..."

Is actually having your feet on stirrups.

"Hands crossed, protect
the groin like a lock"

means grabbing the reins.

"Fist has emptiness, pull
and release like a bow"

is about holding weapons.

Your fist, of course needs some space.

And your signature move,
that lying down one,

happens as you really need... to lie down.

To bend backwards or forward

is simply...

Ok ok ok

A man and
his stance must be one

his stance is not about
the stance of the man

but the stance of the horse

the kung fu of ma ka,

first ten years out of 800 were for real.

Because, there was a horse.

As for the remaining 790 years,

you were just riding on a dead horse,

and lying through generations,

lying to yourselves till
you are totally convinced.

Ugh, you'll never change.

Sorry...

Why do you flip him?

Physical therapy?

I'm just following orders.

Look.

That poor thing,

he fell down from the roof,

now he is in a coma and
may become a vegetable.

What a dumb plan.

Obviously he's posing.

I've said we'll talk if you beat me.

Please recover,

and beat me.

33. 34. Keep going. 35.

Jerk!

He went to the airport with me
but refused to board!

I won't forgive him.

Mrs. ma.

Siu wan. Serve me some tea.

We have no tea.

Where are you going?

Bathroom. May 1?

We have no bathroom.

What's wrong?

We are family.

Mei, yow know what?

We are not family.

We divorced.

But my son is still mine.

Doesn't matter if he is mine or not,

he's my son.

Here's the door.

Punch harder!

Yes!

Go again!

Reach the peak in one minute.

I couldn't even if it was flat land!

Clock's ticking.

Hold on.

Master.

If you fail, run again.

2'40"37

3'11"84

3'55"

even with these tiny rocks,

I couldn't finish within a minute.

With this big one its hopeless.

Master, grandmaster said

chan tsang finished in 45 seconds.

Impossible.

"Chan tsang, 45 seconds"

Master! 43"57!

Master! Awesome!

Master, hey... be careful!

Dad knows,

you took a dive for me.

I can't make it up to you,

I can only give you a qualified opponent.

Enjoy the fight.

Who knows,

I may have given you a boyfriend too.

If he beats me.

As useless as he is,

he's got decades of training behind him.

With my training,

don't underestimate him.

What are you doing?

Master. Relax. Don't worry.

What?

I bet you lose.

I hedged...

If you lose we still make money.

Master,

I am all in that you lose too.

No sweat!

You don't get it.

I am not here for money.

I'm here to get your master a wife.

Ok.

What's the odds?

Record in Asia,

$100 to 80 cents.

Master! Master!

Ladies and gentleman!

Here she comes. Boxing goddess!

Applause.

Chan tsang! Chan tsang!

Coach coach! I am here!

Chan tsang! Chan tsang!

You're a fan too?

I don't know her.

But I want her to beat that swindler.

Let me tell you.

My son was a student in
ma ka thunder school,

now he's the laughing stock at school,

and even gets bullied,

and he is suffering from depression.

I really want to see that guy beaten!

Let me tell you.

My boy too.

That chi-gong training,

$1000 per class.

Plus the nail clippers.

And the soup mix.

We are all here,

to boo him off the stage.

- Smash him!
- Make him pay us back!

Please welcome grandmaster ma fei long!

- Applause!
- You bastard!

You bastard!

Calm down. Calm down.

Calm down.

Master,

any last tips for me?

To be fair. I am not on either side.

I am going to watch TV. Best of luck.

Hey master... master!

Give my money back!

Master!

Master, get in the ring.

Ok. Ok. Get in first.

Calm down.

Ladies and gentleman!

The match we've been waiting for,

the fight of the century is upon us!

In the blue corner we have

boxing goddess chan tsang.

And in the red corner.

Grandmaster ma fei lung! Master ma!

Boo!

This fight of the century
is about to begin.

Three rounds and we will know
who comes out on top!

If it lasts three rounds!

Fall! Fall!

Ready? Box.

Chan tsang! Go go go!

Shield me, shield me.

You done running away?

Ma fei lung you're soooo handsome!

Hey! Foul! Are you kidding me?

- He kicked! Foul! Shame!
- Calm down! Sit down!

- The referee will handle it.
- Foul!

I didn't mean it.

That's just a reflex.

I didn't mean it.

Master ma,

this is a not a professional match,

but you still can't use legs.

I will disqualify you if you do it again.

Understood. Sorry I didn't mean it.

Really?

Ok. Boxing. Boxing.

Box.

He kicked again! He kicked again!

Hey again?

It's only a stance.

I didn't intent to touch her.

I won't touch her.

It's finished.

Ok hands only.

Opps. Did I get it right?

Can't last three rounds?

We already won our money!

Back to the corner.

One. Two. Three.

Four... five - get up master.

Six. Seven. Eight.

Saved by the bell!

Not sure if this is good for master ma.

You still have two rounds to pull through.

To that side. Watch out. Be careful.

Show him some mercy.

Let him survive this round.

Your heavy punch

might hurt him.

Are you telling me to take a dive?

Master! Terrific!

She only punched you once.

But I fainted.

But you came back.

She was letting you run.

Get ready for the onslaught.

Then what should I do?

Just to let you know.

To be fair. I am on neither side.

I'll return to watch TV.

Was that my imagination?

Master. Up.

Come. Master.

I'm dead. I'm dead.

Box.

This quick?

He laid down all by himself.

What's he doing?

Didn't he say no lying down?

Who knows?

Wow the audience is getting stirred up,

booing from all directions.

However, since this fight

is not a formal bout,

so what master ma did,

was not exactly a foul.

Not a foul at all.

Master ma, I know this is hard for you.

If you keep avoiding the fight,

that is not what you want, right?

Get up! Come over.

Box.

Over there.

Excuse me.

He really grabbed a seat.

Ya.

Serious?

Pay us back! Pay us back!

Are you even a man?

Are you not ashamed?

It's not a formal game.

I broke no rules.

Going home doesn't break the rules either.

Go home.

Go home!

Master ma.

Hold one. Hold on.

Do you want to come back?

Please step aside.

Master ma,

if you ever lie down, or run away,

in the eyes of the audiences,

you have already lost.

Think twice.

Box.

Nuts!

You fool, why don't you
use wire and pulleys?

- Climb up! Use some bamboo scaffolding!
- Don't.

What's that?

I am still in the ring.

A new move.

Cool.

In boxing,

you are not allowed to attack the opponent
below the waist.

Now master ma climbed up the corner post.

Chan tsang is facing his lower half,

there's nothing she can do.

Really? I can't attack below his waist?

Of course.

But below his waist

usually only refers to the
front part below his waist.

Hit his butt!

Hit his butt...

Corner. Corner.

You alright?

I'm good.

Are you ok?

I'm good.

If you keep fighting like this.

I won't see you anymore.

Master, how do you feel?

I think it's broken

broken? Where?

Master I got your back!

Master!

Wake up! Master! You good?

Wake up! Wake up!

Are you ok?

Master!

Yup. Don't have to ask.

I am your ancestor!

Ma ka lui thunder!

Yaaaa!

Hey boy,

is "joust for a spouse" still popular?

No no.

She said I have to win before we talk...

Ya... you're right.

And you are no match for her. How shameful.

Mr ancestor,

that lady is tough.

L, peasant, commoner,

sorry... your descendent!

Your descendent really fell for her.

If 1 fight I am dead if
I don't I am wretched

if it's dead or dead,

why don't you fight?

I am no match for her.

Not to mention she has two hands,

I only have one hand left.

If one hand is not enough to hold the lady,

keep it for your useless self.

Easy for you to say.

I didn't see you holding emperor bing.

You're right, I lost that time.

And many more afterwards.

But to win and lose never really matters.

What matters is you learn from it.

What did you learn

by losing two rounds?

In no way can I beat her.

Listen!

Have virtue like water,

water gives without demanding a return.

Remember, water flows downward.

W ater flows downward.

Sorry. Your time is up.

Master.

Master! You're awake!

The match is about to start.

Water flows downward, water flows downward.

Master, be careful. Bye!

Ma fei lung you will win!

Box!

Got bumped? Wanna throw in the towel?

Water flows downward, water flows downward.

W ater flows downward.

Water flows downward, water flows downward.

What's going downward in boxing?

You got hit, you go down.

Want me to go down?

Fine fine.

Hit me, no more dodging!

C'mon.

So this is it,

no more retreating. I stand a chance.

Why don't you dodge?

One can't dodge forever.

I am talking about you!

Talk if you beat me!

Oh everybody listen!

She said, if I beat her, she'll marry me.

Rubbish. Impossible! He's only mocking you!

I will win!

My right hand

is for holding you.

Don't go. Don't go. Don't go.

Got ya. Got ya. Got ya.

I am not afraid of being hit.
One punch for three received!

One punch!

Got me once and you are euphoric.

No ambitions!

I will ko you.

If you ko me,
you can have anything you want.

Sure I will.

Ko?

Damn, all or nothing

Corner. Corner.

You alright? You alright?

Hey she's fine. Starting counting.

- A referee doesn't need your lesson.
- One. Two. Three. Four.

You just talked for six seconds.
Seven. Eight.

Hey,

shut up.

Still want to fight?

Box.

Chan tsang, marry him!

Go go, ma fei lung.

Jerk.

What?

Wait. Wait.

What happened?

We were fine fighting.

What now?

Explain this photo.

I threw it away.

Away from the room but inside the house.

Serious. I thought I did.

How about this one?

Tell me.

Look who's in that one first.

I never took that.

Hey!

Hey!

Got it... it's good.

Are you insane?
Jumped out of the window for a photo?

This is no ordinary photo.

This is the only photo of us.

Are you ok?

I am ok.

Tsang tsang

the photo belongs here.

Master ma.

Fine. Fine. We know what we are doing.

Tsang tsang,

for real,

we have already fought like this,

it's exhausting.

Maybe, later on,

we should take it easy, just a bit?

Are you asking me to fake it?

Just kidding, just kidding.

One. Two. Three.

Get up!

Get up! Get up!

Four.

Get up! Get up!

Get up!

Up! Up!

Five.

Get up! Get up master!

Get up! Get up!

Six.

Get up!

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Yeah! Well done! Amazing!

What an exciting match!

Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen.

The result is in my hand.

The judges made an unanimous decision...

Master chan tsang...

Did not win.

Master ma.

Awesome master!

Did not lose.

Because... the judges were

too involved in watching

that they forgot to ring the bell

for over 30 seconds.

The official result is,

no win. No loss. No draw!

Yeah!

We witnessed an extraordinary match today!

We witnessed an extraordinary match today!

Everyone was expecting

it's a battle of life and death.

Instead,

you two were flirting in the ring.

Master ma.

Tell us what happened.

Kiss her. Kiss her.

I want to thank master chan tsang

if it wasn't for her

giving me the chance to fight for real.

My entire life is just self deception.

Kung fu, an act. As a person, an act.

Marriage, love,

are all acts and I wouldn't
know what real is.

Chan tsang. Chan tsang.

Chan tsang. Chan tsang. Chan tsang

master chan tsang.

Master ma is really grateful to you.

Are you two...?

I told him,

"we'll talk if he beats me."

Now I wanna tell him.

You just punched me over the shoulder.

Repeat it.

Serious? Fight again?

That way... that way...

"Three years later"

Ma fei lung, chan tsang, come out!

He comes again! Run! Run!

Higaki,

don't scare the kids.

You had lost to my masters
three time already.

Won't you give up?

I lost once to master ma.

Twice to master chan tsang.

I understood

beyond the realm is another realm.

This time,

I am here for to become a student.

Oh. You come to learn?

Please line up there.

Hey line up here.

How long do I need to wait?

Not sure.

Masters have chosen not
to reveal themselves,

and are out for a treasure hunt again.

Treasure hunt?

Tsang tsang,

we've scoured this place for over an hour.

The cave of traceless fists?

There's surely no trace of anything here.

But the map says here.

Maybe, the map is counterfeit.

To be honest,

we are now, kind of,

proficient in martial arts.

Do we still need to sneak
through these caves

for this kung fu style
that may not even exist?

Are you stuck in the mud again?

You always thought ma ka thunder style

was the best?

You are right!

Have virtue like water,
flow in all directions...

Let's flow that way. Give it a try.

Here we go.

"Life, has its ups and
downs, dims and glimmers."

"No doubt rugged, sad,
yet laden with bliss"

"the virtues of water,
flow through the rocky hills and dales"

"anyone can be a grandmaster”

"my friend"

"as water, glaciers melt
into the ocean spanning time"

"from east, to the west,
stretching to the skyline"

"the virtues of water,
could hold up or sink a boat"

"anyone can be a grandmaster”

"my friend"

"my friend I left the well"

"became water, I roll through towns"

"ahead, come hell or high water"

"off the beaten track I travel further"

"off the beaten track I travel further"

"with or against the current”

"up and downstream, or across the universe"

"no one could stop me, no way to undo"

"when on guard I take it slow
and go with the flow"

"in attack mode my roaring
waves could overflow"

"while gurgling streams come and go"

"the boundary, the grudge, the prejudice”

"all the problems let them go"

"all the problems let them go"

"the best kung fu, is
"have virtues like water"

"frontal assault, I will be blocked,
so I strike from the side"

"peakless, humble,
half cup of water, is what I employ"

"keep changing, keep reforming"

"keep exploring, keep evolving"

"become some water crystal clear"

"endless mountains,
wild rivers continue to meander"

"all these years,
all rivers join hands with the sea"

"life, has its ups and
downs, dims and glimmers"

"no doubt rugged, sad,
yet laden with bliss"

"the virtues of water,
flow through the rocky hills and dales"

"anyone can be a grandmaster”

"my friend"

"as water, glaciers” - action!

"Melt into the ocean spanning time"

"from east, to the west,
stretching to the skyline"

"the virtues of water,
could hold up or sink a boat"

"anyone can be a grandmaster”

"my friend"

"heads up, check out the vast universe"

"evaporation, condensation,"

- "water eventually flows backwards"
- Where's the doctor?

"Have virtues like water,
my heros my champs”

"a superb kung fu would not need a fist"

"the real seven seas flow in our blood"

"though we compete, without beating,"

"and ain't afraid being beaten"

"waves, could wash sand onshore,"

"or carry away fallen flowers"

"not serving this obsessive world,
gradually we conquer”

"as peaceful as still water,
as experienced as ancient rivers"

"constant dripping hallows out a rock,"

"composes the moves as cool as cucumber”

"never have a rival as we are invincible"

"colorless tasteless shapeless fearless"

"turn into ice, into gas, into weapons”

"turn into nectar. Please take some."

"Wave a quiet goodbye,
but keep an Ace up the sleeve."

"Sing a song of the rivers"

"when you show your hand,
turn rivals into friends"

"aim to nourish the world"

"as the formless takes form"

"life, has its ups and
downs, dims and glimmers."

"No doubt rugged, sad,
yet laden with bliss"

"the virtues of water,
flow through the rocky hills and dales"

"anyone can be a grandmaster”

"my friend"

"as water, glaciers melt into
the ocean spanning time"

"from east, to the west,
stretching to the skyline"

"the virtues of water,
could hold up or sink a boat"

"anyone can be a grandmaster”

"my friend"

Cut!

Ah! My mic was fine over there.

Why did you clip it here?