The Ghost of Peter Sellers (2018) - full transcript

- Okay, here we go.
- Yeah.

Arrival Joe, take one.

Camera speed.

Action.

Hey, Joe.

- Peter.
- Jesus Christ!

Hey, how are you?

- I knew you would be...
- What brings you here, mate?

...in the fucking bar.

- Nothing's changed, has it?
- Give it to me.

It's great to see you, pal.



Great to see you.

- Lovely to see you.
- Yeah, long time, eh?

I just wonder if I should
walk into this...

Given that we get
this other shot.

Uh, just carry on.

Action.

- Joe!
- Hey.

- Peter, how are you?
- Jesus Christ!

- I haven't seen you for years.
- Oh, my God.

What's happening?

- Good to see you.
- How are you?

Lovely to see you, mate.

It's incredible
we're doing a film

on our own film,



which is completely insane.

- Never been done before.
- Yeah, I don't think so.

Not by the people
who actually made it, you know.

but they waited until
everyone is dead.

- Yeah.
- But not yet.

On every movie I made,

I put a book together,

and there are 24 movies
I made over the years.

And this, I just, just in case

it reminds you of anything,

but this was the book on ghosts.

This was the first day
of shooting.

I remember
the first day of shooting

was absolutely magnificent.

Mind your head!

We were on the boat and I
jumped off into the water.

It was so hot.

And looking at the hull
of the pirate ship,

and the sun breaking through,

and it was the most
magnificent memory of mine.

Because from that point on,
it was a nightmare.

You know, because
you are responsible

because you are
the fucking director.

For 43 years,

I covered up this very dark

spot on my life.

I carried this grudge
against myself,

all my life,
for all these years.

Now I'm here...

and I'm lost.

What have I done?

So we find ourselves
on the Kings Road,

and why, precisely,
are we here?

The Kings Road
was this absolute

monumental place.

And it was absolutely packed

on a Saturday.

There's people walking
and parading,

and showing off
their new clothes,

and the latest fashion,

and everything like that.

And it was just sensational.

Were you working
as a director?

I was... Yes, I mean,
from 1968

I've been directing movies.

And why are we here
at this spot?

It's because, because of
this place at which

was a restaurant
called Alvaro's.

And this was the most important
restaurant in London.

And everybody from
Michael Caine

to Roger Moore,

- Mick Jagger...
- Would all be

- in here.
- The cream of England was here.

On a Saturday,
I'm walking down

and I see Peter Sellers,
you couldn't miss him.

And I said,
"Peter, baby, you're back!

You're back from New York."

"That's absolutely perfect.

I want you to come
and direct my movie.

It's a 17th century
pirate comedy in Cyprus.

And we're all ready to go,
and all you gotta say is 'Yes.'"

You know? And like an idiot,
I said "Yes."

We must find that woman.

Stick your arm out.

When the idea
of this film came out,

I jumped at it.

He was the greatest comic actor
in the world.

Mr. President...

I would not rule out
the chance

to preserve a nucleus
of human specimens.

It will be quite easy.

at the bottom of...

some of our deeper mineshafts.

Because it's right after
Dr. Strangelove,

it's right after the first two
Pink Panther movies,

which became an enormous hit
in the world.

Peter Sellers.

- Spike Milligan.
- Mmm.

It gave me
an incredible chance

to work with Spike Milligan.

And you couldn't have got
two more bigger comic geniuses

in England in 1973.

How about a film
possibly scripted

by Spike Milligan
starring Peter Sellers

and of course,
Spike Milligan.

What about it, Spike Milligan?

Yes!

Well, quite clearly,
I'm not gonna get anything

- out of you.
- Okay, okay.

- Now I think this...
- ♪ I want to be unhappy

♪ But I can't be unhappy

♪ Until I make you
unhappy too ♪

This film was
a great opportunity

for Peter and me

and Spike Milligan

to work together

and to create something
completely wonderful and crazy.

For a director,
it was irresistible.

So, you haven't
been here since 1973,

so tell me what it was like

when you came here all those
years ago to see Spike?

Well, I... It was
a sensational idea

to do this 17th century
pirate comedy, you know?

And, uh, Spike was such
an important part of it.

Because of his incredible,
zany, crazy humor.

"You're lucky to be alive.

"And I was about to say why."

Well, I was struck head on
by the 10:40...

I can't...

Peter!

Oh, my God.
There's Norma.

Good God.

The Hungarian refugee.

I know, I escaped again.

- I can't believe it.
- I'm here.

I cannot believe it.

- It's been, what, 42 years?
- 42 years?

- I know.
- You look the same.

- Except you've gone gray.
- I know.

- Lovely to see you.
- Yes.

I'm really thrilled.

I bet Spike is laughing
his head off, you know.

Come in.

- And you are?
- I'm Simon.

- Simon.
- Hello, Simon, I'm Norma.

- Happy to see you.
- Nice to see you.

Sit down.

Nothing's changed here.

Look at all these pictures
of Spike.

Bernie, darling, it's Norma.

I know I'm in trouble.

As usual.

So here we are
after 42 years,

sitting in your office,

Don't keep saying that.
It makes me sound so old.

Well, its makes us old,
but it doesn't matter anymore, does it?

No, it doesn't.

Hello, darling,
how are ya?

Just... It brings back
incredible memories being here.

I mean, that's all
is left for me.

Ghost in the Noonday Sun.

Lots of pictures of Spikey...

No, no, wait a minute.

This is not all
that's left of you.

No, I mean my memory.

All, yeah, all your joy.

- I know.
- And listen, 42 years later,

- I know.
- We are laughing about it.

- I know.
- And we're smiling about it.

We went through hell,
we had nightmares, you know.

But, you know, it, it, it...
It never left me

ever since then.

Well, I can see that.

What happened to the film
was an absolute tragedy.

- Mm.
- Because instead of

this kind of wonderful thing,

- however crazy...
- Mm.

And instead of that,

the film was never shown.

I was accused of
all kinds of things

which I wasn't responsible.

My career nearly
was completely

destroyed by this movie.

- Mm. So...
- And it's so, it's so

upsetting even today.

- You've gotta let go.
- You're right.

You've gotta let go.

- This is not all you've got.
- Yeah, absolutely.

You've got it all
up here, you know?

And Spike wouldn't like that.

- No.
- He wouldn't, you know...

If you said to Spike,
"This is all I've got,"

- he'll call you a fucking idiot.
- No.

- I know.
- Give me your hand.

Give me your hand.
It's a matter of your memories.

- This is not all that is left.
- I know.

It's rubbish.

Negatives
was a wonderful book,

I started shooting it,

and it was like
an absolute dream come true.

And that was the beginning
of my career.

Out of the blue,
I had a phone call from Columbia Pictures.

if I would be interested
in reading the script

on A Day in the Death
of Joe Egg.

And The Ruling Class, you know,

it was the crown of it all.

It went to Cannes,

and had tremendous attention.

It couldn't have been better.

We're interested in the work
of the director, Peter Medak,

who can be something special.

He has done two pictures.

Fantastic growth,
I think, in England.

- He's Hungarian.
- He is?

- Yeah.
- I didn't know that.

We're part Hungarian.

And me,
naively thought,

that that's how
it's always gonna be.

He really was very high
on the fact

that you were gonna do it.

- Yeah?
- I mean, he was excited.

It was the happiest
I had seen him for ages.

You had just you know,
come off directing

Peter O'Toole.

Peter always loved having

something that somebody
else had had

- so...
- Took over a big success.

Absolutely.

Think of Wardour Street
and you think of film.

For the whole
of the 20th century,

this famous thoroughfare

has been the center
of the film business.

John Heyman was the producer
of it.

And John Heyman, uh,
was absolutely

the brain of

independent financing
in England

in the early '70's.

And I knew John because

he was a very dominant figure

in British movies.

This was the money side
of the business.

And the money side
of the business

was, "Well, if we could
set it up for people."

And, Peter Sellers was
one of those names

that made it work

from a distributor's
point of view.

And any Peter Sellers picture

was deemed to have
a financial chance.

But, in those days,
it was pretty unusual

to be able to go into Columbia

and raise $2.6 million
to make a picture,

- sight unseen, unread.
- Yeah.

Which was the power
of Peter Sellers.

And the reputation after The
Ruling Class of Peter Medak.

And, Peter was a genius,

but very difficult.

I mean very, very,
very difficult.

I mean, I have a name
of being very difficult.

I am not difficult at all.

I just cannot take mediocrity.

I just cannot take it
on any level.

If you take it,
you sink absolutely

or you have the luck.

And it is luck,

to work with great directors
only.

I've had that maybe
just on two or three occasions.

The rest of the time has been,
you know, a bit ropey.

But, it won't be in future
because

I feel that I want to be very,
very discriminating.

I knew Peter
was a lot of trouble.

But that never worried me
because then

I worked with
the most difficult actors.

That is okay, you know,
you have to just

cope with them
and deal with them.

But then, I saw the script
was weak.

Not unsolvable, but it needed
some clever grafting, you know.

I turned up at Spike's office

and started working
on the script

and we gone through
the whole thing.

And Spike was

divinely insane.

The story of the film,

basically is that

uh, there was this

cook of the boat.

by the name of Big Scratch,
which was Peter Sellers.

They come to this island

to bury the secret treasure.

They dug the hole and they're
burying the treasure,

And then he throws the knife
into the captain,

goes back to the boat,
the pirate ship

and he says,
"I am the captain now,

because I know
where the treasure is."

And they immediately get lost
for 20 years.

- Ah! Me Ireland!
- He learned that

this little kid,
has the talent

to spot ghosts.

And they all get thrown
into jail.

And they then escaped
from the Arabs.

It's a big battle.

And they arrive at this other island,

which I can't even tell you
which country it is.

I don't think you know
where the treasure is!

By finding
the wrong treasure...

I know where the treasure is!

They find the right treasure.

It is unexplainable.

And I tried to talk
to Peter about it

on the phone.

And every time I talked to him,

I had this terrible feeling
that Peter doesn't

understand what I'm talking
about.

And that's where my suspicion
grew more and more and more.

To realize, I don't think he's
ever read this bloody script,

you know.

So, one Saturday,
I decided to visit

Peter when he was living
in this house

as he was running away
from one of his wives

because he was convinced
that she was a witch.

The phone rang, suddenly.

And it was his then girlfriend,
Liza Minnelli,

who, they were having this

great love affair.

Well, folks,

it's love time at the
Copacabana.

And, yes, we're in love.

It's frightfully good.

And she was very upset and she
was crying on the phone.

And I could hear her crying,
but also could,

Peter was saying, you know,
"Darling, please don't cry,

I really love you and there's
nobody else, it's just you.

And I'm going to count to 10

and with each number, everything
is going to get more and more

"purple around you."
And he started counting,

I couldn't believe it.
I'm sitting with the script open

at page seven,

and he counts and
"You feel it yet?" and

"two, three..."

"Can you see? Can you feel?"

"Is your eye closed?
Is it purple?"

"I love you."

And he gets to 10
and he hangs up.

Now he breaks down
and starts crying.

I get up and I go over to him

and he's crying
on my shoulder,

And I said, "Pete, come on,
let's go for a walk."

So we went for a walk

and I realized,
this is the end of it.

We're never gonna get
through the script.

The script is vital.

It's essential.
Absolutely essential.

You can't move without it.

Uh, and it's got to be as good
as it possibly can be

before you start shooting.

And so many people rush
into productions

- one way or another
- True.

unless you have

- some amazing talent.
- Yeah.

You can actually pull it off.
But it's rare.

You can't, you should never
start a film

when you know the script
isn't ready.

I know, but by then,
the whole thing was set up.

- It's too late.
- And the boat is sailed, it was too late.

It's a great lesson by the way.

You don't make films

- because you can get them made.
- Yeah.

You get films because
you got an erection to make it.

I still thought
that I can manage

his genius talent
and get the best out of him.

But there was no choice for me,
I had to carry on

because my wife was pregnant
with my second son.

And I needed the money
desperately

and I had to continue.

We found this boat yard
in Athens

which looked like a junkyard.

My producer's boat,

old African cigarette boat.

And out of that, it went
into the shipyard.

Then, they started building
the superstructure

and try to make it up into

a wonderful looking
pirate ship.

At the time Ghost in the Noonday
Sun, came along,

there were only five of us

working in a small office in
South Molton Street.

I had worked on three films
with Peter.

We got on very well and that,

the idea of working in Cyprus
sounded very tempting.

I looked forward to working
with him again.

But, when I took
a careful look at it,

well, not even that careful,

just the concept to build

a pirate ship,

put a film crew on it with a
couple of stars, go out to sea,

I thought, "Well, this is
courting catastrophe."

And you are completely
at the mercy of the

weather and the waves,
the currents and the wind.

It worried me about it,

because of that,
I suggested to Peter

that the schedule should
be longer

than the schedule that
they were proposing to give him.

On every movie,

film financiers
were the guarantors,

there's an absolute file on it.

And in these two boxes,
is the entire history

of what happened in Cyprus.

Let's see what we have in here.

It brings tears to my eyes,
because this is

43 years ago.

- Everything is in here.
- Yeah.

These are amazing,
these documents.

Well, it's just a history
of what happened day by day.

But if you look at the report,

by John Croydon, he was

extremely cautious about this.

As a matter of fact, they used
to say about John,

anything with water,

even somebody washing
their hands,

He would say, he wanted
nothing to do with it.

Because it was scary to him.

But I knew, because
David did say

that when he looked
at the budget,

you know, that it isn't
sufficient.

Which I then went and told

John Heyman immediately.

And it was totally
and completely ignored.

That was the end of my
involvement with the film.

What's amazing is that
nobody

thought carefully enough,
before they started.

Just, I thought
an extremely impractical way

of approaching this film.

I wanted to make
this film work.

But that's when I realized

that, you know, I'm really
kind of fucked, you know.

I remember when I was
on the plane,

I got a little drunk,

and I was saying to myself,
saying,

"What the hell you doing now?"

My God.

I can't believe this.

I feel like, back in 1973.

It's like nothing changed here.

Everything is the same.

How can time stand still?

It is haunting.

Absolutely haunting to be here.

My first real

strong, strong memory of Cyprus

is standing with Peter,

watching the boat arrive.

And the boat came
onto the horizon

and it was beautiful

and it was a beautiful day.

And this absolutely marvelous
boat came.

Then I heard all the locals

from the villages rushing down,

you know, because they said,
"the pirate ship is coming,"

"Your pirate ship."

And there, in the horizon,

sailed this beautiful,
beautiful pirate ship

with three sails,

And they were slowly coming,

it took forever. I think it took
couple of weeks

from Athens to get here.

And it finally came here
and made

this magnificent turn here.

And then suddenly hear
this terrible crashing noise.

And we looked,
and the pirate ship here

was rising out of the water.

And the Greek captain,
who was drunk,

crashed the entire pirate ship
against the rocks.

And then the boat started to go
slowly down.

And as the boat was going
slowly down,

Peter was standing by my side,

- and he was going slowly down too.
- I did.

That's how the movie began.

It, on the first second,
it was a disaster already.

Like we're being cursed
from day one.

The day before Peter arrived
to Cyprus,

Peter and Liza broke up.

He was catatonically depressed.

I have been disappointed

so many times

in people

that I have become

not

uh, most certainly not bitter,

but, I

tend to

approach people
very wearily, in case

they're going to clobber me.

I find I get clobbered a lot.

So finally,
on a Saturday,

I pick Peter Sellers up
at the airport.

And his driver, Burt, was there

and we brought him here,
to this incredible villa.

So, as we walked in,

Peter said to Burt

"Before we go in,

"please just line up
all the suitcases here."

So Burt lined up 15 pieces
of luggages.

And he said, "First set up
the stereo before we go in."

And when Ravi Shankar's music

started playing,

Peter said, "Okay,
now we can enter."

So we went inside.

So, as we came inside,

here was this incredible,

Mediterranean house.

And then he said to Burt,

he said, "Burt, look at that
bookshelf.

"There's a Who's Who there."

He said, "Give him Who's Who."
You know, he said,

"Let me look up Tommy Clyde and
Ben Kadish."

The two producers of the film.

So, he pulled this book,

opened it up,

and then he started reading out

the life of Thomas Clyde.

A titled English gentleman.

Partner of
Douglas Fairbanks Jr.

Had made such a, such a,
such a films

and so forth, you know.

And then he closed the book,
he said,

"Let's fire them."

He said, they're incompetent,
you know,

"Let's get rid of them."
And I said,

"They've been your partners
now for two, three years,

you developed this project
together."

Well, it's needless to say,

within about a week,

they had vanished

and left the island.

I didn't know that we were
getting rid of Tommy Clyde.

Um, Tommy Clyde turned up
in my office,

and said, "I'd been fired."

I'm the only person
who can fire you.

It's the only film
that I can ever remember

where the producers
got sacked after the first week.

By the star.

For years,
he has stuck idiots.

Idiot producers who've ruined
wonderful material.

Idiot managers who told him
he couldn't act.

Idiot BBC officials who treated
him like a naughty boy.

And he won't take it anymore.

He just won't take it.

Know, dead mens,

we's gone with this boat

on a search

for the treasure.

Know that I'm willing to share
this treasure with ya.

I'm willing to do that,
so let me have a show of hands

all of you's boys.
Who's with me?

♪ Fi-diddlie-do

♪ Fi-diddlie-dee
Yo-ho

♪ For the rolling sea

♪ We'll sing you a song ♪

The boat was repaired

and Gareth Wigan,
John Heyman's

associate was sent out

to have some kind of a control

over this insane situation.

Having not had any experience

about shooting on water,

I was totally
unprepared for it.

♪ Fi-diddlie-do

♪ Fi-diddlie-dee

♪ Old Scratch

♪ Is the man for me ♪

This is where we used
to moor the boat.

We used to sail off from here.

Into the Mediterranean.

And how many people
would be on the boat?

How many crew?

The entire crew
was about 110 people.

And normally this happened
around 6:30-ish in the morning.

So very like this?

Yeah, it was exactly
because now it's 7:15

But, this is what it was like.

And it was gorgeous, you know.

Until we got out
into the open sea.

I want to be brought ashore.
I've been kidnapped.

- Kidnapped?
- But you're only a kid.

Even with this little boat,
you can feel

the movement, so imagine
being on the boat all day long.

What it does to you.
And try to act like this.

Behind this ship,

they towed a generator boat,

with the cables going into the water,
into the arc lights which were here.

We had to switch off
the engines

so we can shoot sound.

At that point, the boat
started drifting.

And we had to be five miles
out of the land

so we don't see the land
over there.

I knew one of the guys
who worked on the crew at sea,

and he said it was impossible.

They're all moving, you know.

Can we go back? No, no because
the sun's in the wrong position.

Boat moved
about so much,

so many of the crew
were being sick.

Makeup man,

looking grey,

somebody else said, "Get back."
So we all came back.

And terrible smell.

I can still smell that diesel.

My two great producers

put two old engines
into the boat.

Which everyday broke out
at five miles out at sea.

So we had to be rescued
by the Costas brothers,

who towed us in.
Every day it happened.

The engines, they were
in a really bad condition.

It wasn't really serviceable.

It was a second-hand boat,
it always had problems.

"Unable to operate
open-sea call.

Bad weather reports, so ships
returned to harbor one after another."

The sea was rough,
so you couldn't do the trip properly.

So we have to tow the big ship
back to the harbor.

In and out, in and out,
all day long.

The elastoplasts are still
all over the place.

It was a nightmare.

But then to us,
it started beautifully.

Ahoy, there!

And those early scenes,

the first time on the boat
and all the excitement

when I was the officer
with lovely Jamie Villiers.

I mean, that was a joy to play.

Welcome aboard
our humble ship.

Excuse me, sir,
what is that smell?

- It is him.
- Yes, of course.

What are those spots?

Those red spots
upon your face, sir?

It is nothing.
It is the crot.

That is just the crot.

Yes, good, excellent.
That's very good.

Fine. The red plague.

The red plague, sir.

The red plague? What?

Yes, sir.

- The plague?
- The plague...

Abandon ship!

Number One, abandon ship!

The red plague!

The red plague!

- I think it's a lovely, lovely comedy scene.
- Yeah.

And then from then on,
we were told

that seeing our scene

and how good James and I
were together,

- 'cause we were a great double act.
- Yes, wonderful.

- Pity we only had that one scene.
- I know.

Um, but were told that
he'd seen that

and everybody was praising it.

And the smile
went off his face,

and we were persona non grata.

And from then on,
it just got worse

- Worse and worse, I know.
- It did.

I mean, he turned around
to me on the boat

while we were rowing along
in the Mediterranean,

and everybody's seasick,
you know,

and he rips his big wig off
and he says,

"This is absolutely
fucking crazy."

He said, "It's impossible
to make a comedy like this.

I mean, who thought of this?

How could you have gone along?"

And I said, "Well, Peter,
this is how the whole scene was set up.

And it's your movie."

Peter was like that.

It was the most marvelous
thing in the world

and he was gonna do it,
and blah, blah.

Two or three days later,

he could say,
"I don't want to do that."

And that would be it.

Truly, if anyone had said
to him, I think,

"You can stop filming
and go home",

he would have been happy.
That's all he wanted.

- Yeah.
- He wanted to go back to London,

he didn't want to be there.

Suddenly, the island that he
had loved that was so beautiful

became, you know,
the hell-hole of the world.

I cannot stand it
any longer!

Help! I can't swim!

I seen them when they do'd it.

Unfortunately,
the production was very unprepared

for this impossible
shooting at sea.

Save me! Save me!

Save me first!

- Save me!
- I'm the captain!

And it affected the shooting
and preparation on land.

You're late. Years late.

Incarcerate him.

Hark!

So Costas, what was your role
in the movie? What did you do?

Well, I was, uh...

I believed I was the head
of the pirates, yeah.

So we got up in the morning,

we got the costumes on
and things like that,

and we did the shots.

By that time,
after two shots...

You know how film is.

It was break for lunch.

I got into the queue to go
to the buffet there to eat.

The lady there,
she said, uh,

"I'm sorry,
you are not having food."

I said, "I beg your pardon?"

She said, "No, you are
not allowed to eat."

"Only for the actors."

I said, "Excuse me,
what do you think we are?"

"What? You are extras."

We are treated like natives.

"We are the natives! Oh-ho-ho!"
This kind of thing.

You know, who should say,
"Ah, thank you for...

- Yes.
- ...putting us in the picture."

No, it was embarrassing,
I remember.

So I said,
"Okay, if you insist.

We'll go, and we'll go
in our huts.

Have our bread and olives.

And then we'll have a siesta,

and when...
if we feel like it, we'll come back."

I remember also some sweet guy
who was wearing a huge turban,

being so angry that he threw
his turban on the ground

and jumped on it
and shouted, "I actor!"

I was going, "You don't have
a turban anymore,

actor or not.

Then it was a big riot.

I remember, three quarters
of them had left

with their clothes on,
and they never came back.

Uh, we knows exactly
where he's hiding.

- Yes, yes.
- We know that.

I love the idea
of all those extras going

- with their costumes on.
- I know.

So all over Cyprus,
there were pirates

- and extras in villages.
- I know.

They really left
with their clothes.

I remember Ruth Myers,
poor Ruth didn't know what to do.

We did actually manage to buy
a fair amount of them back

from the local market
a few days later.

So as you went back
to the market,

- you spot bits of costume...
- Oh, yes.

- Oh, that's brilliant.
- They were all sitting there.

- You had to negotiate it.
- Yes.

The truth of the matter is,
I should have got on the plane

- and come to see first-hand for myself.
- I wish you had,

because you would have
seen the truth.

We had about
four or five films shooting.

Seven movies you were doing,
I think, at the time.

And we had a great boat,

great location,
everything beautiful.

We had less than competent
producers.

But we thought we could
make it good enough,

and we kept going,
A, because we had to,

anyway, we were going
to get paid,

and B, because we thought
it would look good.

♪ I'm a raggling boy
from Dublin

♪ He had black hair
and...

♪ Dum-dee-dee-dum-dum-tee ♪

One day, he came to me
on this beach, and he said,

"You should quit the movie."

He says,
"I've got director approval,

so they won't pay you
because you quit,

but they pay me,
and I give you half of the money.

on my children's life",
you know.

And I said,
"You see those people?

They've been here
since 6:00 in the morning.

So, get your fucking
make-up on,

and let's get ready and shoot

because the sooner we shoot,
the sooner we'll be home."

So here we are
in the top of the hill

overlooking this incredible bay.

And it was in the second week
of the film, to do the shot

of the pirates
burying the secret treasure,

and behind them, Peter tied up
his pots and pans.

So we started doing
the tracking shot

and we were tracking away
and tracking away,

and when we got
to the middle, suddenly...

Peter collapsed.

My god! Everybody was running in
from all over the place,

Jerry Crampton,
Joe Dunne, everybody,

they knew something was
desperately wrong with Peter,

and Peter is lying
on the floor,

having a heart attack.

So they took Peter away
into the local hospital

over there in Kyrenia.

We knew that he had
this terrible heart condition.

In 1964, on his
kind of honeymoon,

he suddenly suffered
eight heart attacks

and he actually physically
died, but was revived.

It's a miracle he was alive.

And me saying, "Oh, my god,
this is the beginning of the movie.

What am I gonna do?

Is he gonna die,
is he gonna survive?"

We closed down production.

And we're not shooting,
and I'm sitting

two days later in the harbor.

I open up the Evening Standard.

In the Evening Standard
is Peter

at San Lorenzo's restaurant
in Beauchamp Place,

near Harrods, having dinner
with Princess Margaret.

And I looked at this
and I can't believe this.

He's supposed to be
in the hospital there.

How did he get off the island?

Then he turned up
two days later

with some fake
doctor's certificate from...

- Remember Tony Greenberg?
- Of course I do.

And in his hand, there was
this medical certificate

by Dr. Tony Greenberg,

who issued it saying that
he was unfit to work.

I can quite easily understand

because it would be the sort
of thing I would have done.

If it was a good friend,
if he said, "You know, I'm ill."

I'd say,
"Yes, of course you're ill."

What kind of a person
would do that?

To fake a heart attack when you
have a terrible heart condition?

From that point on,
he decided

that he has got to get
off the movie somehow.

So he did everything
to sabotage it.

Ah, this is a terrible time
in me life.

I'll have to think
of something else.

Now then,
what's another thing?

He knew his influence
and power over everybody,

- and he had to control it.
- Yes.

He had that
extraordinary ability

- to draw you in.
- Of course.

I mean, you wanted
to be there. I mean,

- who wouldn't? It was exciting.
- Of course.

It was never dull.

My crew and myself
got up at four o'clock that morning.

We laid a track for a crane,

which was a big deal.

We had to have that
ready by eight o'clock

- and Peter never turned up.
- Never turned up.

And then we got a message,

then we got a message
to go back to base.

Peter Sellers was having
a meeting with the crew

to vote no confidence
in the director.

- That's him, Mr. Kite.
- Hey, you!

Suddenly,
I hear Peter parading

in front of 99 people,
the entire crew.

- With the hands up, honestly.
- With his hands up.

And he said, "I hereby elect myself...

...the shop steward
of all directors and the crew."

He said,
"I declare myself

that this is
absolutely impossible

to make a film
under these conditions,

and I want all of you
to vote who thinks

that Peter Medak has no idea
what he's doing."

And I said,

"Peter thinks he's Fred Kite."

Right, brothers.
Have we all gathered?

My purpose in convening you is
to lay before you certain facts.

A few minutes ago...

I then realized that he's now
taken the character he played

which was the shop steward,

and it's a scene directly
out of I'm All Right Jack.

And everything about it
constitutes quite definitely,

a definite breach
of the existing agreements

that exist between
management and union.

A diabolical liberty.

Hear, hear!

I started screaming.

And I said, you're all
a bunch of...

Fucking assholes.

You also said,
"You all decide."

And you got into
that dune buggy or whatever...

Yeah, the Minimoose.

...and sped off
into the sunset.

And I drove up the hill,

and I said, "One more
fucking thing, Peter,

I can go back to Hungary
and never come back."

And I drove off.

And everybody was looking
at each other, saying,

"What sort of film is this?

There's the director
going in that direction,

and there's the actor

standing up
as a shop steward."

I said, there's no way
I'm going to quit

because I can't quit.
If I quit, I get sued.

I'll never work again,
and I'll be held responsible

because I'm the idiot
who everybody will blame.

Because they always
blame the directors.

In the film business, I mean,
you have to be tougher than I was.

I mean, I was not
street-smart enough.

I went three days
with Peter on the set

where he didn't talk to me.

No, it's true. It's tragic.
It's absolutely tragic.

But we were young,

and not that we were
full of ourselves,

but we did our first movies
and it was absolutely bang-on.

- Yes, yes.
- Nothing stood in our way.

You know, so it was
an incredible period.

And then I have to go
listen to this shit.

Everybody's looking at me
and I'm dumped in Cyprus,

and my responsibility
was to complete the movie.

And Peter's answer to it was,

is to somehow
manipulate the film

that he would get paid off

and the film would not happen.

I mean, this is insane.

- What could you do?
- Nothing.

You can't bring him
to the set screaming and...

No. No, no.

And if I had quit,
I would have been blamed.

If I don't quit,
I'd be blamed.

- You were blamed anyway.
- The whole crew was there.

Every, um, serious artist

tries to engineer

the circumstances in which
they can shine.

- We all do it.
- Yes.

We all try and change it
so it works for us.

And then, when you have
actors on a set,

everybody is maneuvering that,

and hopefully,
it's all harmonious,

but Peter did that ruthlessly.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Absolutely ruthlessly

without any consideration
for anybody else.

- most of the time.
- Hmm.

I was just unfortunate
not to work with Peter Sellers

- who I loved and admired and had seen.
- Yes.

Somebody who would come in
and fire you up

and you would continue...

Even in a good film,
it was never fun.

- No.
- Never fun with him.

- Never fun.
- No.

And he gave me gifts.

And it's not enough.
It's not enough!

- Completely irrelevant.
- It's not enough.

I spent a lot more time
with my mom

and then my dad,
there was always a different lady.

And he always would make
such a big deal,

but probably because
he felt bad

because he didn't spend
any time.

So when he did,
he had to go so over the top.

It couldn't just be normal.
It had to be like, "Whoa!"

Because he never
did that that often, so.

Yeah.

But, I mean,
I was used to that.

You could say, right,

successful millionaire,

three beautiful children,

all these material things
around me,

why aren't you happy?

He was completely
unpredictable.

As a person, he could never
actually feel comfortable

being Peter Sellers.

He had to become a character.

It was very hard to get
to the real Peter Sellers.

And I'm not
the real Peter Sellers.

I am, in fact, a mock-up.

A plastic mock-up.

I'm beginning to think that
increasingly every day.

I don't think I have
ever worked on a film

where I found it noticeable

how isolated one star was.

And he was.
He was really isolated.

He didn't have
any social skills

with other actors.

I don't think he was even
very interested in them.

He was always
under pressure

to be the greatest
comedian in the world.

That brought
a tremendous loneliness

and he was very alone
all the time.

But at times, you could
see him switch off

in the middle of a take.

The filming and everything
is fantastic,

and suddenly he just goes...

He wasn't there.

There was nobody inside.

He's kind of gone
somewhere else.

But the thing was that
Peter was never...

never really diagnosed
with his problem.

It was always like,
"Peter's nuts, watch out."

But nobody ever
really took care of him.

We lost a tremendous
amount of time.

We started getting behind
and I had to make up for it

and shoot
all the scenes quicker, and...

But it was impossible
to keep up

with Peter
and with the weather,

and the technical
complications, as well.

With the boat
which kept breaking down.

It looked like a madhouse.
An insanity.

And at the same time,
I'm receiving

these absolutely disgusting
threatening telegrams

from John Heyman saying,

that unless I can
control your star,

I have no alternative
but to fire you.

If we had stopped the picture

at the moment
it should have been stopped,

which was probably
the second week of production...

Yeah.

there was nobody
to pay for it.

We'd have all gone broke.

We only got paid
if we delivered it.

So at that stage,
it was too late to stop

- because we couldn't afford to stop.
- Yeah.

The reports I got

were that Peter Medak
had not done his homework,

and he was the person to blame
for what was going on.

And they said, "There is no way
we can salvage this film."

And my instructions
were to finish it

and get out
as cheaply as possible.

Deliver it,
and let's all walk.

Once you start
in a bad race,

it's very difficult
to recover from it.

And I said,
"Well, tell fucking Heyman

to come here and try
to control Peter

because nobody can."

He probably missed
14 days of the film

when he physically
refused to be there.

He felt he knew everything
about comedy

and I didn't.

Making a film is a war.

It's like a suicide mission.

And the one who's forced to
commit suicide is the director

because everybody has
his own excuses about the film.

Heyman had 800
other movies to make.

All the producers want to do

is the minute you start,

is to finish it
as soon as possible.

"Why is he bringing
all these tracks?

"What is the helicopter for?

What are all these things?

Let's just get
this bloody thing over."

I mean, I want to kill people,

but they're all dead.

This letter was written
by the already fired producers

as the excuse for being
removed from the island.

Let me read the letter to you,
and you can tell me how you feel about it.

"I was most concerned about
Peter Medak's general approach

which involved lack of communication
with heads of departments,

lack of detail in preparation,

over-coverage, and a refusal
to shoot the picture

at any pace
other than his own.

And I immediately
gave him my views,

which are in essence
that Medak should be replaced,

and unless he was,

I felt I could not be
responsible for the outcome."

So this is the first time
you've ever seen this letter?

- It's the first time.
- So you've never seen...

I've never seen this letter
because it's a complete,

absolutely disgraceful,
disgusting...

It's a complete lie.

And it's because of that,

it's nowhere near what
my career would have been

had this fucking letter
not been written.

I should have hidden
that away from you.

No, no, it's okay.

I know.
He is quite upset about it.

It's great to know
the truth, you know.

I'm interested to know

why you're putting yourself
through the pain,

if you like, of revisiting
this story

and making this
documentary film.

Of course, it throws up
a lot of the past,

a lot of memories,
you know,

a lot of things which kind of
held me down over the years.

Because when I look back
at some of the memos

which are fortunately kept,
you know,

it's blatantly obvious
from the first week on

when I'm just starting
to cry out

for help from somebody

instead of turning against me.

I was blaming myself.

Never mind those telegrams
threatening to fire me,

I was crucifying myself.

I was born in '37.

Hungary was invaded
by the Germans in 1944.

I was seven years old,
so I was a very young kid.

But I remember when Eichmann
came in with his forty tanks.

I walked into
my father's study

and I overheard
his two best friends

saying that, uh,

what is to come,
we will not survive it.

That's the first time
I was scared.

So we pretended
to be Christians

and we started
living with a lie.

By some miracle,
we survived the war.

But my poor brother died

when I was 14
and he was 16.

That's when my first guilty
feeling started about anything,

because I felt I was
responsible for his death.

And then, the next
was my father

who was imprisoned
by the Russians,

and when he came out,

he died in my arms of a
heart attack when I was 15.

And tragically, my first wife
committed suicide

when I did Ruling Class.

And I'm responsible
for everything.

So I was like a sponge
of guilt-ridden feelings.

And why do you make movies?

Because it's an escape
from your own life, that's why.

You know, because you get
very busy

creating a whole other life.

Which becomes real life,

and then, your life
becomes secondary

because you have no time
to do anything about it.

- You know what I mean?
- I do.

You're right, but...

Because I can have characters
that do things that I can't.

Exactly.

Like be heroic,
or fall in love properly,

or kill people or...

We're too sensitive.

So our characters can do
the things we can't do.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Okay, cut.

One day, we were
shooting on the boat

and I was in the helicopter.

Talking on the walkie-talkie
with all the rotor blades,

it was impossible
to communicate.

And Peter refuses to do
what I'm asking him to do.

I said, "Fuck, forget it."

I said, you know,
"Let's just go up."

We went up 10,000 feet,

and there is my pirate ship
with the crew and everybody.

I looked to my left,
and there were Russian jets flying

and there was
the Russian warships.

To the right,

there was the American Navy.

It was the few days before
the Israeli war broke out.

And I saw, I said, "My god,
I've got this total insanity below me,

and the world is coming
to an end up here."

And I thought, "God,
you better go back down

and try to finish that scene."

- 'Cause the war was on the boat...
- Absolutely.

- ...at that time.
- Exactly.

There.

And next time, my boy,

you listen to me,
you hear me?

You're a real pirate though,
aren't you, Pierre?

If you say so.

Not like Scratcher.

No.

Not like Scratcher.

I remember when he said,

"Rita, can you be ready soon?

We're going on location
to Cyprus."

He is going to play a pirate.

And it was
a happy location for us.

It was just like,
I was happy to be there,

uh, I loved it that
the kids were with us.

He was happy.

Tony was this
incredible, kind of vivacious,

great-looking,
swashbuckling hero.

And I knew that he was
a friend of Peter Sellers,

and Peter very much
wanted him.

Right, that's right.
He's right.

Tony was really excited
to work with Peter.

Tony always knew
that Peter...

was a difficult man.

So was Tony, I mean,

I think every artist
has had their problems.

But Tony took it very serious.

And what happened in Cyprus,

very quickly, he found out

that Peter might not
have taken it that seriously.

And for what reason,
we didn't know.

Well, I remember.
I used to take Peter myself

with my speedboat,

and he always used to come
at 12 o'clock,

one o'clock, two o'clock,

very sleepy,

and everybody was upset
with him, you know?

And they all waited
for nothing the whole day.

So obviously, Tony,
he had enough.

I mean, how many times
you don't turn up?

Tony never came back
in a bad mood, per se.

He just said,
"Poor Peter Medak."

Now look, Capitan,
we are four points off the course,

and I will tell you now,

that this is the true course.

If that's how you want it.

Come and fight like a man.

Peter Sellers just kept,
"Oh, you big American cowboy..."

- It was insulting Tony.
- Very, yeah.

So what are your memories
of that, Rita?

- Was that very powerful?
- I do have memories of that

because that is one thing
he just couldn't take.

- And Tony had his Italian temper, and...
- Yeah.

Um, I mean,
he, he felt like

killing Peter
sometimes, you know.

Of course he didn't,
but, uh...

- Something like that.
- I mean, what happened is

there was this dueling scene
between the two of them.

Peter was teasing Tony.

And by then, poor Tony
was absolutely

at the absolute edge
of his nerve.

And so, Peter was
leaning over the poop deck.

Tony pulled
his pirate sword out,

and he went up like this,

and he brought it down,
but he stopped this far away.

- But Burt, Peter's driver...
- Yes.

...was on the deck,
and he saw it.

And Burt was telling him
that you nearly got killed.

And I saw Peter
suddenly taking off his wig,

throwing it over the boat.

And Sellers turned around to
me, and he says,

"I know what happened,"
and he says,

"I'm never, ever going to be in the
same frame with Tony Franciosa."

And we had, like,
30 pages of the script

- between the two of them.
- Oh, my god.

We just... After that,
they just didn't talk at all, did they?

- They just...
- Oh, no, they hated each other.

You couldn't get anywhere
near the two of them.

- They absolutely hated each other.
- Yeah.

I started writing
letters to John Heyman

that we're
in a very dangerous situation,

and the quality of the film
is at stake.

So, I wrote this letter
which I've got here.

You know, it sums
everything up.

And the only thing
I can do is read it.

I mean, this, kind of,
sums up, basically,

what the hell was going on.

- It was a nightmare.
- It was an absolute nightmare.

I was just trying to stay
alive, and keep shooting.

And every evening,
when you got off the boat, you would die.

So, Norma,
you and Spike arrive on the island,

and all of this
is going on.

So, how did he feel being caught in
the middle and, kind of, what happened?

Oh, no, he wouldn't be
caught in the middle.

That wouldn't be Spike.

He'd just say,
"I'm not getting involved," you know?

And then walk. But he knew
when we went to rushes,

and he said,
"This is not good."

He said, "The film
is on a disaster course.

"And somehow or other,
he's got it in for Medak."

That was the first night
we were there.

Spike went at it
very quickly.

Pokey, pokey, pokey.

But sometimes,
it made less sense.

Fire!

It didn't matter to him
how insensible it is.

The more it was like that,
the funnier it was for him.

Oi, Captain,
think of his mother!

- Get out!
- Think of your mother!

- Mother.
- Push him in.

Spike couldn't really
understand film.

I'm sat right here!

And we'd gone
through the whole thing,

and he kept forgetting
what we did before.

When Peter Boyle gets killed
in the story at the beginning,

he said,
"Oh, let's kill him again."

And I said,
"But he's dead."

You know, so it was
that kind of stuff.

But Peter had
calmed down a bit.

And we had dinners
in the evening,

and everybody
was getting stoned, and...

You know, so it was...

We had a lot of fun as well
at the same time.

Oh, Bill.
Bill Bombay, my darling.

I see you're still working
the old pea cup game.

So, I'd like to put
a bit of money.

I'm feeling
a betting mood.

Spike's character
was this other lunatic,

Billy Bombay from Bombay.

I got treasure
on my own!

What? Treasure?

Treasure? Treasure?
Treasure? Treasure?

Treasure? Treasure? Treasure?

And there was
a palm tree,

and when they start
to confront each other,

I wanted Spike
to hit this palm tree

so it kept coming
between them.

The exact spot!

Listen, listen,
I'll give you one last chance.

Bill, will you come
with me or not?

Well...

All right then,
a pox on you, Bill.

Get out of here!
Get out of here!

But then, for us,
it was a nightmare because...

I mean, what was the day
when Spike took over?

And he had this shot
where, um, it was...

It wasn't obligatory
to be in it

because it wasn't
in the script.

And I know I refused,
which Spike didn't really like,

when he made everybody
dress up as Spike Milligans.

Thirty years
I've been your captain.

And 30 years ago,
I promised you a side of the treasure.

And half of the time
I couldn't tell who's who

and which is Spike,
and I completely lost him.

So, I had to say,
"Spike, where are you?"

And then, he got them
trained, all the others,

so they were answering
with his voice.

Oh!

It was driving me crazy,
and I said,

"For fuck's sake, Spike,
put your hand up!"

Peter comes to me,

and, you know,
when he wanted something,

he said, "Oh, darling,"
you know.

He said, "You need
to do me a favor."

I said, "What?" And he
said, "Next weekend,

"you've got to direct this
commercial for me at Benson & Hedges.

"Because the only way
I can make it

"is if they shoot it
here in Cyprus, you know."

We were night shooting
for two weeks,

so it was the first weekend
of a rest day,

when everybody could sleep
on Saturday, Sunday.

He said,
"I'm getting £50,000,

"and I'm getting a Mercedes."

"Spike," he says,
"is getting £25,000,

And James Villiers, he
said, we can get him £5,000.

I said, "Okay, I'll
do this commercial,"

just to have my peace
with him, you know,

thinking that now he's gonna be
more accommodating and nicer,

and will do
what I ask him to do.

Dennis said to me, "Look, I've got
this very strange note from Peter.

"saying that he wanted
a brand-new Mercedes

"and, um...
And cash in the car."

In the car itself?

In the car, he wanted
an envelope of cash.

In England, it was 90% tax in those
days, or some huge amount.

So, we got agreement,
in principle, to do this thing.

Needless to say,
the next Saturday,

I'm in this same place
here, standing here,

making this Benson
& Hedges commercial.

I dressed Peter up
as the Clouseau character

from the Pink Panther movies,

with the hat and the
raincoat, and all that.

But there's an alarm bell.

The jam the Benson &
Hedges pack into that.

Spike and Peter
and Jimmy Villiers

go through this door.

This is a Customs shed

filled with gold bullion.

Spike was wearing a long,
white raincoat with his funny hat.

And they finally
come out here.

They need to get the pack
out of the alarm bell.

So, what do they do?
So, I said to Peter, he said, "Darling."

I said, "Just twirl it
in the beautiful sun."

And Peter puts his arm
around me and he said,

"Daddy, didn't Dennis
tell you?

"I cannot touch the pack." And I said, "What
do you mean you can't touch the pack?"

He said, "I'm not allowed
to touch the pack."

He said, "I'm chairman
of the Anti-Smoking League."

I said, "What?"

I said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "Really?"

I said, "Are you joking?"
"No, I'm not joking."

I went to Spike, I said,
"Spikey, look."

I said, "Your idiot friend
will not touch the pack."

He said, "Peter, I love you.

"Don't ask me something
I have to say no to."

He said, "I will not
touch the pack."

I said, "Why?" He said,
"Because I'm the assistant chairman

"of the Smoking League."

Assistant chairman
and the chairman.

I'm surrounded by two fucking
idiots, you know.

And they're doing a Benson
& Hedges commercial,

they won't touch
the pack.

So, I go to Jimmy, I said,
"Jimbo, will you touch the pack?"

He said, "Yeah, absolutely.
Give it to me."

So, he went there.
He was very tall.

Pulled it out.

Spike ran across,
jumped into the boat,

broke through the boat,
and it sunk.

Boom! That's the end
of the commercial.

Because the
commercial required

Spike to jump in the water,

Spike had this
fixation, right,

that all these pieces of
seaweed, right,

that were floating around
in the harbor were turds.

So, he got
a whole group of people

to get in their boats
with fishing nets

and take all these pieces
of seaweed out.

- And he wouldn't get in the water...
- Until it's all cleared out.

...unless we got all the
"turds" out of the water.

- I doubled for Spike on that commercial.
- Did you?

He was very, very happy, and
then, the next day, he was...

You know what
Spike was like.

- Yeah.
- He was miserable.

And I said,
"What's happened to Spike?"

He said, "He's realized that
he's done a commercial

"for cigarettes
which he's damned."

He's gone on TV and said,
"Nobody should smoke,"

and he's doing
a commercial for it.

Then Norma came and said,
"Look, Spike insists

"that the check
is made from Gallaher's,"

who are the
cigarette people,

insist that they pay,

uh, Anti-Smoking
and Health.

- Yeah.
- The company, right.

And who've spent
all their money

trying to stop
people smoking.

Gallaher said, "Look,
we don't mind giving them cash,

"we don't mind them paying
the lawyer or the agent,

"but we're simply
not going to

"write a check out
to Anti-Smoking and Health."

- I mean, there's no way this could happen today.
- No.

You know, and they were really
two wonderful, brilliant, genius,

major lunatics, you know.

And one inspired
the other one all the time.

Yeah, they were like two
catalysts of a nuclear bomb.

- I know.
- They just...

You know, one of them
by themselves was fine,

but you put them both
together and you had mayhem.

I know. It's a disaster.

It was a way
of trying to finish my movie.

Because I thought, "Well,
if I do him this favor,

"he will do me
another favor."

But that's not
how his brain worked.

Spike had formed a very
good bond with Peter Medak.

And... But Sellers was
his old, old, old friend.

You know,
they started together

in The Goon Show,
as you know.

That was a tremendous
love-hate relationship.

They... I think they
respected each other's talent,

but they also were vying
for top dog all the time.

He'd go to Sellers,
and he'd say,

"Hey, you're behaving
like a bloody idiot.

"What's the matter with you?"

And of course, Peter didn't
want to hear that from Spike.

What he wanted Spike
to say was,

"It's okay, Peter. You show them.
You're brilliant."

Yeah, yeah.

So, he went
into battle on my behalf.

And then,
he and Peter fell out,

then they weren't
talking to each other.

I suspect when Spike came to the
island originally, I mean, he...

Peter felt this was gonna...
He's gonna have an ally

- who is 100% on his side.
- Yeah.

And, of course,
that's not quite true.

He thought that Spike
was gonna fix everything...

- Yeah. Right.
- ...which he couldn't, you know.

And they started arguing.

Peter and I barely
spoke to each other anymore

because I wanted
to kill him.

This insane situation

continued to the end
of the shooting.

With Tony Franciosa,

I was forced
to shoot them separately

because Peter would not
appear in the same frame.

How would you like
a taste of Irish steel?

I was forced again
by the producers

to put the camera low down

so you're looking
up at the sky,

you're thinking
you're out at open sea.

What language is it
you're speaking, sir?

We couldn't afford
to go to Ireland anymore.

The designer built
a Irish village in Cyprus.

This is not Greece, sir,
this is Ireland.

Ireland! Ireland!

Oh, me Ireland.
I love ya! Oh!

God bless all here, lads.
God bless all here.

And the weather went from 100
degrees to a bit more than sub-zero.

But somehow we got out
of the island alive,

which was a miracle.

And then, I had to shoot some stuff
in Bray Studios, which is in Windsor.

And I remember
the end-of-picture party,

and I didn't want to go,

and I thought I have got
to go because of the crew,

you know, who suffered through
this 67 days of nightmare.

And so I went on the set,

and there was nobody there

except couple
of electricians

from another movie,
who were completely drunk.

And they had no idea.

I said, "Did you
work on the film?"

They said, "Oh, no, God,"
you know.

"We're working on another
movie on the other stage."

Nobody turned up.

So, Dick Scratcher has to live
to sail again, then.

Not with me. For I should never have
listened to you in the first place.

Oh, so it's you then, Bill.

- Yes!
- Oh, then I should have never listened to you...

- Yeah.
- ...in the second place, how about that?

What are you thinking when you
watched the cut taking shape?

I was just thinking that
you have to get it right.

You have to make the best possible
version out of this kind of thing,

where certain things
were missing.

But it was completed,

and Columbia refused
to accept it,

because they said that certain
scenes had not been shot in the film,

and because of that,
the film is incomplete.

I knew it was a disaster.

I knew it.
And I knew that I failed

because I hadn't been able
to pull it off.

And in the first three movies,
I succeeded like a clockwork.

So, this was like
a dagger through me.

And here is this incredible
fucking genius, you know,

and everything
you wanted, you know,

and it doesn't work?

What happened?

And the guilt
of it, too, you know.

We all were to blame.

None of us should have
made this picture.

I mean, it's not as though
we didn't know Peter was nuts.

- Yeah.
- Truth of the matter is

- none of us knew how nuts.
- No.

But there is no question,
on reflection,

and I've seen the film.

- I actually did sit through it.
- Yeah.

Uh, that it
shouldn't have been made.

- No.
- Now, it shouldn't have been made

because the script
wasn't ready,

it shouldn't have been made

- because the production organization was not ready.
- No.

It shouldn't... The only thing
that was ready was the money.

I was desperate, absolutely
desperate, after the first week.

And I knew
at that point...

I mean, when I got
your telegram saying...

You know,
which puts me on notice

that unless I behave in a
first-class director manner,

uh, I have to replace you.

But I knew
if I would quit the movie,

I still would be blamed
for everything.

But I had to fight it through
and finish the film

because that was my duty.
I signed that contract for you, with you.

The amount of passion you have to
put into a film, to make a film...

- Is unbelievable.
- ...on which you have a credit...

- Yeah.
- Um...

- It's a personal investment.
- Absolutely.

I didn't have a personal
investment in Ghosts of Noonday.

Ghosts of Noonday Sun was
another piece of inventory.

Of course, of course.
And I totally understand it, you know.

But for a director,
to make every...

To create a frame of film,

you put your entire life
into that film.

Your identity.
It doesn't matter what the subject is,

your soul is going
on the line.

I understand all of that.

- Everybody lost something.
- Yeah.

The most...
You lost reputation, you lost...

- Tremendous because...
- Self-respect.

- Whatever you lost.
- Absolutely.

- I lost money.
- Yeah.

Believe me...

I'm still here,
I'm still eating three meals a day.

- Not catastrophic.
- Yeah. Yeah.

The bottom line, if you take
all of the bullshit away,

Ghost in the Noonday Sun
had no message.

- Nothing.
- We weren't politically motivated.

Ghost in the Noonday Sun
as meant to be

a pure piece
of entertainment

that would take people out of
their drab lives for two hours,

and make them laugh,
and cry and smile.

- It did none of those things.
- Mmm.

I don't know how many nails
there are in the coffin,

but this is
a very small nail.

We're all to blame.
We all have a teeny scar.

- Yeah.
- But to make the scar more than teeny...

- Yeah. Is insane.
- ...is insane.

In the period
after that, did you work?

Did I work?
Yes, I did.

I mean, in my mind, I blocked up
everything so much that I thought

the next film I did
was, like, six months later,

but, actually, it was
five years later.

And I did work because I've
worked on a number of films,

which I then walked out of
for various reasons, you know.

And probably my walking out
of those films

was really driven and
governed by my own guilt

of what happened
on this film unconsciously.

And then, the minute
I walked out of something,

then I felt a tremendous remorse
and, and upset

of allowing myself
to do that.

Out of the blue,
I was offered The Odd Job

with Graham Chapman,
Diana Quick and David Jason.

He's got to come in
on the next shot

because I can't get him
to go away.

The great merit from this
kind of financial source

is that there is no
interference whatsoever.

Nobody tells you
who to cast in the film.

You don't have to have
star names.

And Peter is shooting his next Pink
Panther movie with Blake Edwards

next stage to my stage.

And...
So, I'm shooting away,

and Burt, his driver,
comes on the set,

and taps my shoulder.

I said, "Hey, Pete.
You know, lovely to see you."

And he said, "You know, Pete is shooting
here next door to you, you know."

I said, "How could I not know?"

I said, "The whole studio
was painted pink, you know.

"I know."

But he would love to come...

Why don't you come
and say hello?

He'd love to see you.

So, of course,
I didn't go.

A day or two days later, tap,
tap on my shoulder, it's Peter

in his Pink Panther outfit.

He said, "Baby..."

He said, "I sent for you.

"You didn't come
to say hello, you know."

And I said, "Peter,
don't you remember what happened?"

He said, "What are you
talking about?"

You got rid
of everybody else,

you tried to get
rid of me, you know.

And...

And he said, "No, no, darling.
What are you talking about?

"It was us against them."

I said, "Peter,
there were no them left."

"It was just you and me."

He said, "Oh, no, come on.
I love you."

And then, he said to
me, he said,

"You know, we should
buy back the movie,

"and you and Spike
rewrite the narration,

"and then I'll get
the movie released.

"I'll buy the fucking
movie back."

And we then really, kind of,
reunited that evening, you know.

And he was absolutely
just lovely.

So, I was there quite late,
and we got quite drunk,

and that was the evening
I last saw him, and then...

One day, I pick up the
paper, and he's dead.

And I said, "You motherfuck,
you cheated death, you know.

"It's not fair.
You can't be dead."

And that was it.

And despite of it all,
which I keep saying all the time,

I absolutely loved him

because he was
a fucking genius.

And it was just great
to be there for a second,

you know, whatever
pain it caused.

And I remember truly,
truly being heartbroken that...

That he was on his own.

Because, for Peter, the worst
thing in the world was to be alone.

And he was alone.
He died alone,

which, for him,
is so wrong.

I'm sorry.

It's silly, isn't it?

And people keep saying to me,
"So, what's the point of you

"doing this now?"
And I don't know.

Uh, it's probably
to free myself of it.

As I said to you just now,
even for me, I think it's cathartic.

- Yeah.
- I mean, you just...

It's saying things that perhaps
we've only thought for a long time,

and not had an arena
to say them, to get it out.

- Uh, some of your...
- Yeah.

Some of the hurt as well.
It's not just frustration.

- I mean, we're all human...
- Of course.

...and we can be hurt.

And I think it was very hurtful,
a lot of what he did to you.

Particularly because
when you admire somebody

and their talent,
and their work, and, uh...

- You didn't stand a chance.
- No.

It's not you.

God, it is absolutely
incredible ruins

of 3,000 years ago...

And Simon, it puts everything
into perspective, you know.

Me being here 42 years ago,
which is nothing.

And what little,
unimportant creatures we all are,

- Mmm.
- And it's just wonderful to be here.

How do you feel as more and
more people who were involved in it

have died and passed away,

and you're
still going strong?

And every time I meet you,
you're gonna make a new film,

- you've got this, you know.
- Yeah.

You're a vibrant,
living spirit

surrounded by these ghosts.
How do you feel about that?

I feel incredible,

but I really feel the presence
of Peter and Spike.

I really do.

I feel that Peter and Spike
are laughing their head off.

And the best way to describe it
is John Heyman's take on it

that we should have never,
ever have made this movie,

any of us,

because it was impossible to
make something great out of it.

And it's absolutely right.

He said, "Forget it.
It's past. It's gone.

"It doesn't exist anymore."

Do you feel that
you've stopped blaming yourself

about Ghost?

I think so.
I really think

because it's really
so long ago.

And it was terribly important for
me, terribly important,

to have that conversation
with John.

And to release me
and give license

to go on, which he did,

without him knowing, actually,

what good he was doing
to me, you know.

Thank you, Simon.

There's so much
inside, you know.

I know. I know.
It was great.

Okay, let's start up
the next thing.

I mean, this is
such a great angle here.

Isn't it?

- This way?
- Yeah.

Yeah, two shot.

It's important to get,
really, a good shot of him.

Yeah.

And action!

Oh, my God.
There you are.

Hey, Spikey, you picked
the right bloody spot.

It's a beautiful place.

And you've been sitting
here for 13 years?

See? I get
the final laugh now.

I mean, Norma
should come up,

or Terry Gilliam
should come up

and do this once a week,

and John Cleese
and all of them.

You see, I'm here.
You never thought

I was gonna
turn up on one day.

Because you cannot
get rid of me.

Never, ever.

I don't have the
same boots as you do,

but I'll sit exactly
the same way.

Like this.

Here, like that.

Have a little nod, okay?

All right, darling,
sleep well.

I love you.

♪ You can never hope to know
just the way a life can go

♪ When you think
you know it all

♪ Something makes you
fall again

♪ Life is just
a dance with time

♪ I learned the moves
and learned to climb

♪ All the games
I play to win

♪ Yet somehow
it's just beginning

♪ Oh, I've danced
with fools and kings

♪ In my time
I've seen most things

♪ But in the twilight
now it's clear

♪ No more pain
no more fear

♪ Just a dance
with time

♪ That's all life is

♪ Just a dance
with time

♪ And memories

♪ Just a dance
with time

♪ That's all life is

♪ Just a dance with time

♪ And memories ♪