The Family Stone (2005) - full transcript

The Stone family unites in common cause when their favorite son brings his uptight girlfriend home for the Christmas holiday, with plans of proposing. Overwhelmed by the hostile reception, she begs her sister to join her for emotional support, triggering further complications.

** [ Pop ]

[ Man ]
* Oh, the weather outside
is frightful *

[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
* But the fire
is so delightful *

[ Ringing Continues ]
* And since we've
no place to go *

[ Woman ] This is Meredith.
* Let it snow, let it snow
Let it snow *

For the last time,
this isn't a popularity contest.

** [ Continues ]
I don't care if it's
the Friday before Christmas.

She'll have Monday off.

Look--
Look, the bottom line--

The bottom line is, there's
no way I'm letting that report
go without having seen it.

All right,
here's what you're gonna do.
Get Rebecca to reach Ken.



He should be
on the ground by now.
Tell him to forward his fi--

Well, she's gonna have to
change her reservation,
isn't she?

Hold on.
I've got another call.
Don't leave!

This is Meredith.
Oh! Okay, terrific.
I'm gonna call you back.

Don't leave--
I said, don't le-- No, no, no.
Thanks.

[ Meredith ]
I said I'd call you back!
Thank you.

You're welcome.
Combine the files.
Get them to me.

I'll look them over--
Ooh. Everett. Everett.
Is that for Amy?

The red one.

I'll look them over.
But tell her to
tell the printers to--

Forget it--
Wait, I'm gonna
call you back--

The red one,
please.
Red.

Yeah, that's perfect.

[ Cell Phone Ringing,
Muffled ]



Merry Christmas.

Mom!
Merry Christmas!

[ Door Closes ]

Boys!
[ Laughing ]

Boys?
[ Squeals ]
Hi, Patrick!

[ Laughs ]
We hit traffic.

Shh-shh.

Whoo!
[ Squeals ]

[ Whispers ]
You look so good.

[ Moans ]

Wait, Patrick.
Mmm?

I found another recipe
on the Gourmet site
this morning.

It'd better not be for onions.
I e-mailed you my mother's
recipe this morning.

- Well--
- Mom, where's Everett?

- He promised me
they'd be here by dinner.
- Did you hear from Ben?

- [ Sighs ]
- We didn't know what time
his flight was getting in.

Of course. He missed
both morning flights.

- [ Door Closes ]
- Honey, we're in here.

Millie's
famous brownies.

Oh. So sweet of her.

Hi.
[ Whispers ]
Thad.

Thaddeus!
Dad!

Patrick.
Hey.

[ Patrick ]
Merry Christmas.

[ Engine Knocking, Stops ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Phone Beeps ]

Sorry.

No.
[ Sighs ]

[ Clears Throat ]

- [ Clears Throat ]
- You don't have to be nervous.

- I'm not.
- They're gonna love you.

- I hate her!
- Amy.

What?
Generosity.

- Generosity of spirit.
- Thank you.

- Amy, you're gonna
get me in trouble.
- Wha--

I thought no one
had even met the girl.

No. I was down
in New York in October--

That's right. That young man--
What was his name?
How's that going?

Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
Kelly.

[ Whispers ]
Sorry.

So, you had dinner
with them?

So, she is a total phony.
She's completely uptight.

She dragged us
to this friggin'
stiff restaurant,

she talked
the entire time--

- I mean--
Oh, you just wait.
- What?

She's got this
incredibly grotesque
throat-clearing tic.

- It's like--
[ Clearing Throat ]
- Eew.

- It's like
she's digging for clams.
- [ Door Slams ]

[ Woman ]
Make way for ducklings!

[ Mother ]
Susannah? Honey?
Susannah!

[ Kelly ]
Hi, sweetie.
Grandma!

[ Squeals ]
Look at this! Mmm!

Hi.
Here.

Long drive.
Gotta pee-- Oh, hi!

Oh, I love them
so much.

Granddaughter.
Grandpa!

- Hi, sweetheart.
How are you?
- [ Whistles ]

Is Everett here yet?

Amy-- Oh, my God--
was just telling us
all about Meredith.

She's a--
a throat-clearer.

[ Clears Throat ]

- Sybil, why do you
encourage her?
- Well, Amy never likes anyone.

Patrick.

I love you.

[ Chuckling ]
That took years!

[ Grunts ]

So, Sis, you got her
on the phone once, right?

A little curt.
Mm-hmm.

She do that throat thing?
What are you talking about?
I have to pee.

[ Susannah ]
When's Ben getting here?
They're here!

Ready?

Yeah, they're all
watching, you know.

They--
Yeah.

Kelly'll be out in a minute,
and he'll bring us in.

Okay?

[ Clears Throat ]

[ Thad ]
Okay, okay, okay.
[ Sybil Gasps ]

Everett!
[ Laughs ]
Dad. Hi.

- Whoops.
- [ Amy ]
Mm-hmm.

[ Laughing ]
I told you.
Did I tell you?

[ Sybil Laughing ]
Yes!

[ Sybil Tittering ]
[ Amy ]
Uh-huh.

Hi.
[ All Expressing
Greetings ]

How are ya?

Oh. Thad.

[ Kelly ]
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.

Meredith,
this is Thad.
Oh! Yes. Thaddeus.

[ Speaking Loudly ]
Hello. I'm Meredith.
I've heard so much about you.

A-And this is Patrick.
Oh.
Hello.

Hello.

Why is she shouting?

You remember Amy.
Right?

Oh, Amy. Yes.
Merry Christmas.

- You remember me. Right?
The mother? [ Laughs ]
- I do. That's right, Mom.

[ Kiss ]
And this is Sybil.

Mom,
this is Meredith.

Oh. Hello.
You have a lovely home.

All the better
to entertain you,
my dear.

Well, welcome.
And merry Christmas.

Welcome to
our lovely home.

Uh, Mom,
don't overdo it.
What am I overdoing?

Hi. Welcome.
I'm Susannah.

And this is Elizabeth.

Oh.
You have nice shoes.

Thank you.

All right, let me
get a picture, please.

Picture time!
[ Kelly ]
Here we go.

Okay.
Everybody just move in.
[ All Chattering ]

All right, so, Patrick,
move in close.

Okay, wait.

Amy, come on.
Get in there.
Everybody. Here we go.

[ Chattering Continues ]
Where's Ben?

Get tight.
A little closer.

Everett.

Why are you making such
a big deal out of this?
Can it really matter?

Um, yes,
I think it matters.

And, no, I am not
sleeping with you in your bed
in your parents' house!

Sybil put us
in here together.

And I said I don't
think it's right.

[ Laughing ]
So, what you're saying is,
you just don't screw?

Oh, nice, Mom.
That's nice.
Is that it?

I know how fun this could be
for you if you try to make it
more complicated, but--

Yeah,
but separate bedrooms.
Everett, it's so silly.

She just doesn't
feel comfortable.
Well, why should she be?

[ Shouting ]
Putting Amy
out of her room and all.

What?

I hope I'm not
putting anyone out.

No--
Me out.
You're putting me out.

[ Elizabeth ]
Why aren't you sleeping
in Everett's room?

He's your friend, isn't he?
Did you have a fight?

Elizabeth.
Of course not.

Can I try your shoes?
Amy, I'm so sorry. There
must be someplace else I--

[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
Oh--

[ Ringing Continues ]

[ Beep ]
This is Meredith.

Oh. Hold on.
It's my sister.

Oh.

Oh! Oh.

Yes, well, we'll--
we'll just be downstairs.
Give you your privacy.

Come on, honey.
Elizabeth, let's go.

Careful.

[ Sybil ]
Amy!

[ Sybil ]
Let's go. Careful now.
[ Amy Clears Throat ]

They hate me.

Yes,
I'm being myself!

May I come in?

You don't need
an invitation, Meredith.

Don't be mad.

I'm not mad.

But don't be thinkin'
you'll be gettin' any now.
[ Giggles ]

Hey.

Why would you
keep those in here?

Huh.
Don't you--

That's, uh--

That's from a long time ago.

This isn't easy for me,
meeting everyone.

[ Chuckles ]
I know it's not.

Look at them.

Just look at them.

Everett.

[ Amy ]
Ben! Oh, my God.
Amy!

Wait until you meet her.
Wait. Meet who?
Come here.

- Meredith. She's--
- No smoking pot in the house!
Do you hear me?

No pot in the house.
I mean it this time.

I--
Uh-oh.

[ Giggling ]

Merry Christmas, Mom.

And Christmas is not going to be
"clothing optional" this year.
We've got company.

Roger.
Okay. Oh--

Oh, look at the--
Who's this? Wow!

You been workin' out?
Hey, Ben.

Everett! Wow.
Everett in a tie!
Look at this.

Running for mayor.
Hey, you look gorgeous.

Yeah,
well, that's true.

Hey, I want you
to meet Meredith.

Hi.

Hey.
Hey!

Hi. Hi.

What is going on with him?

All hail! [ Giggles ]
The prodigal son returns.

Hey, mama.
Found your laundry here.

Big sack
of filthy Christmas laundry
just for you.

Hey!

[ Kiss ]
Where's your husband?

- What husband?
- Huh.

[ Laughing ]
That husband.
He'll be here on Christmas.

Ah, Queen Bee.
How you doin'?

Arigato.
Arigato.

- [ Susannah Giggling ]
- [ Ben ]
So, uh, where's Dad?

He ran away.
Joined the circus.

Better circus.
[ Patrick ]
Yeah. Less clowns.

[ Susannah ]
Oh. Sorry, but--

Uh, we might have
some glue.

No, i-it's, uh-- it's--
it's okay.
[ Ben ] Oh, no.

I think I have another pair
for that outfit.

It's a good color.

Excuse me.

Hey, uh, you need
a hand with that?

Now, uh, don't dillydally
there, pretty lady.

We're all gonna be down here
talkin' about you.

Do you remember Miss Lewin?
Remember her?
Yeah.

Second grade?
Yeah!

[ Sybil ] Are we
talking about the one
without the lips?

- Exactly.
Man, I was so into her!
- [ Amy ] You are a freak.

Yeah. Yeah.

She's sweet. Right?
Incredible.

Thank you, sir.
[ Ben ]
Yeah.

- Doesn't she seem incredible?
- Yeah. It appears
that she is incredible.

So, uh, Everett,
where'd you find her?

Hong Kong.
Last spring.

Well, actually,
over on Kowloon side.
Not Hong Kong Island.

Although we were
both staying there--
on Hong Kong Island, that is.

Everett at the Grand Hyatt.
I was at the Mandarin.

But we were introduced
in the lobby of the Peninsula.

[ Shouting ]
That's-- That's on
Kowloon side!

Anyway, I was there for
this post-post-unification
conference,

and I had a meeting
over at the Peninsula,

and there I am,
crossing the lobby,
and who do I see...

but Rachel Graham.

[ Sighs ]
Who?
What were you wearing?

It'd been what--
Ten years? More?
God, almost 16.

Andover. So there I am,
catching up with Rachel,
and here comes Everett.

Of course, I don't know him,
but Rachel does-- they got
their masters' together.

And you hadn't seen each other
in, what was it-- eight years?

Anyway, the point is Everett
was lost. Do you remember?
What?

How you were lost?
I'm pretty sure
I was pretending.

He was on his way
to take some boat out to--
What was that place again?

Lantao.
Lantao Island.

Right. Some pilgrimage
he'd gotten into his head.

On his way to see
some Buddhist statue
at some monastery.

In fact, it's one of
the largest metal
Buddhas in the world.

- Metal Buddha.
- [ Everett ]
It's over three stories tall.

Fascinating.

You can stay at this
monastery, actually...
share meals with the monks.

- But they've taken
a vow of silence.
- A vow of what?

Your tie's crooked.

Sounds incredible.
How long where you there?

He never made it, of course.
One thing led to another.

Rachel suggested lunch.

We got to talking.

- Everett,
what did you two talk about?
- I don't-- I don't remember.

This is just--
It's just a little tight.
What are you--

Will you take
that goddamn tie off already?

[ Meredith ]
Oh, please!
Of course you remember!

Everett was there on business
with Steve, working out
their position for the I.P.O.

Well, of course,
that's what I do.

Really?

Within
the Asian market.

Anyway, s--
so, lunch led to drinks,
which led to dinner.

Rachel took off,
and-- and, um, really,

that's how Everett and I spent
our first night together--

- [ Everett ] Yeah.
- me just putting in my two
cents, going over that report.

I just showed Everett
a few things
that needed to be done.

Meredith
was a real help.

We were just lucky.

Both in the right place
at the right time.

Destiny.
[ Whispers ]
Destiny.

- Right, honey?
- Right.

[ Together ]
Well--

- Okay, so--
- Oh. Here.

- Let me help you with that.
- No, no, no. No.

Don't trouble yourself.
You're the guest.

[ Sybil ]
All right,
where is it?

Well, then maybe
I'll just wash my hands.

All right, Ben.
Come on.
Still workin' on it, honey.

I told you--

It's in there.
Mom.
What?

Mom, listen.
I wanna talk to you.

Oh. [ Chuckles ]
Yeah, I'm sure you do.

There's something
I wanna ask you.
Yeah?

I thought that might be it.
But now's not the time. I--

Well--

[ Everett ]
Safe.
[ Amy ] No. Done.

Open.
Opening it up.
[ Amy ]
Chest.

Chest hair.
No?

- Oh!
"Billy, Don't Be a Hero"!
- What?

Ah!
Thank you!
That's it?

- That's a song?
- Yes, it's a song.
You've heard it.

- No.
- Whose clue was that?
It's not very-- It's not good.

[ Clears Throat ]

I wanna go again.
[ Susannah ] No, you need
to wind it down.

[ Amy ]
No, no, Elizabeth.
Meredith hasn't had a turn yet.

- No, that's all right. I--
- No, no, no.
I'll find one for you.

No, really, I don't--
No, come on.
Come on, Mer.

[ Ben ]
Come on, la mer!
There. That one's perfect.

It's a movie.

Okay, movie.
[ Amy ]
No talking.

Amy.

Movie.
Movie.

Four words.
Four words.

Second word.
Second word.

Beekeeper.

[ Everett ]
Ulee's Gold?

Second word.
Second word.

Um--
[ Susannah ]
Wedding!

- Marriage.
- Ring!

Bride.

- Princess Bride!
- [ Susannah ]
Four words.

Always a bridesmaid,
never a bride.

- Oh, no. That's six.
- You know what the answer is.

- I'm just trying to help.
- [ Clears Throat ]

- [ Together ]
Third word.
- [ Whispers ] All right.

Um--

- Nylons?
- Pants?

- [ Everett ]
Personal style. Apparel.
- [ Susannah ] Suit.

Fourth word.
[ Sighs ]

It's okay. It's okay.
Fourth word.

I can't believe
you're pointing at him.

[ Ben ] What?
[ Everett ]
Who?

[ Meredith ]
No! I-- He--

You're totally
pointing at him!
[ Ben ] Which guy?

I wasn't
pointing at him.

- You still are.
- No, I'm not!

- [ Scoffs ]
Oh, my God!
- Is he a clue?

Fourth word.

I wasn't.
[ Thad ]
Fourth word.

- Yeah.
- [ Ben ] Aw, come on, Mer!

Meredith.
You guys are such
unbelievable jerks.

- Come on!
- What just happened?

Shorty, fetch that
for me, please.

Don't even know
how to read.

[ Susannah ]
What was the answer?

[ Sighs ]
The Bride Wore--
The Bride Wore Black?

- Thank you, Amy.
- I--

Why do you always
have to be such a meanie?
Don't!

What did I ever
do to her?

You can't just let her
run you off like that.

- She's just getting back at you
for taking her room.
- Oh, yeah.

Some help you were
in that department.

The natives would never
dream of letting their god
sleep on a couch.

Not when they have me
to blame.

- Meredith, now you're being--
- I am not a completely
ridiculous person, Everett.

I can see you beginning
to look at me like they do.

No. It's not true.

Isn't it?

You're telling me
you're not wondering...

why you brought me here,

that you're not
beginning to have doubts?

No.

That you-- you don't...
wish I were different?

Different?
Different how?

Ow.
Here.

Hey. Hey.
I was joking.

I was just joking.

I wouldn't want you just because
you were a good guy who
got caught up in something...

and then
couldn't find the break.

Hey.

I'm not a good guy.

Yes, you are.

He's coming for that ring.
That's what he wants
to talk to me about.

He intends to give that girl
my mother's wedding ring.

Well,
what I don't understand...

is what he sees in her.

[ Giggles ]

See, I was on to you,
Mr. Oh-So-Innocent.

No, I don't mean that.
She's attractive.
She's intelligent.

[ Laughs ]
Obviously successful.

She's better mannered
than any one of us.
Oh, give me a break.

You stick a silver spoon
up any monkey's butt, it's bound
to go "please" and "thank you."

Big deal.

She is a fine woman.
Oh, so, fine!

She doesn't seem to know
or trust herself very well.

Thank you, professor.

Which means, I'm afraid,
that our Everett
may not know himself at all.

You're up early.

[ Toilet Flushes ]
Did you sleep
all right?

Thank you.
Has Everett woken up--
It's freezing.

Whew.
Is there coffee?

Comin' up.
Good morning, Amy.

[ Sybil ]
Mmm.
Mm-hmm.

Hello,
my last-born.
Good morning.

Oh, Amy,
I meant to tell you,

we got a card
from the Stevensons
the other day.

- You remember Brad, don't you?
- [ Chuckles ] Very funny.

Brad!
Brad Stevenson.

- Still in town,
still available.
- Yeah, well--

Brad popped
Amy's cherry.
Mom!

Uh--
Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Is that not accurate?

Poor guy's
still holdin' out for her.

Guess he got a taste
of something he liked.
Okay, Mom--

- Hmm?
- Could you not?

[ Sighs ]

[ Sybil ]
Milk's in the fridge,
if you need it.

Amy,
you take milk?
Yeah.

But I can do it.

[ Clears Throat ]

Um, I'm really sorry
that you had to sleep
on the couch last night.

Maybe we can
take turns.

Don't sweat it.

I wish you'd give me a chance,
whatever it is that I did wrong.

I said,
don't sweat it.

I-- I-- I don't know
what I did to you.
I really don't.

But, you know, I don't care
whether you like me or not.

Oh, of course you do.

[ Slurps ]

[ Patrick ]
She's going to the inn?

What excuse did she give?
Something about
having a bad back.

Said she could get them
to put a board
under her mattress at the inn.

[ Amy Clears Throat ]
[ Kelly ]
Amy.

Just be the kind child
I know you to be, please.

Well, we are definitely
in trouble now.

[ Clears Throat ]

[ Sybil ]
Here he comes.
[ Kelly ] Go, go, go.

Come on!
[ Chattering ]

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

Good morning.
[ Sighs ]
Good morning.

All right.
What-- Never mind.

Okay, where--
Excuse me,
family.

Everett!

- I just wanna know
who said something to her.
- To whom, dear?

Meredith's
checking into the inn.
That's right.

We actually heard
something about that.

- And now her sister, Julie,
is coming to join her.
- Her sister?

Her sister, whom I've never met,
is giving up Christmas with
her family to be with Meredith.

- Come on, now.
She called her sister?
- [ Slams Table ]

That's it!

I see
what's going on here.

I mean, I knew it wasn't
gonna be easy with you guys.

I just figured you'd give her
a hard time, have a good laugh,
but then back off.

Everett, honey, really--
[ Stammering ]
Please, Mom.

Now, if this
is about me--

Okay, this is how
this is gonna go.

You're all gonna
pull your fangs out of her
and remind yourselves...

that whatever you think
she is, Meredith is somebody
that means a lot to me.

So you'd better start
getting used to the idea.

[ Whispers ]
Jesus. Okay.

- Everett--
- I expected a little more
at least of you.

What?

Oh, well, you know,
the coffee's not too good
over there at the inn.

Oh.
Thank you.

So, uh, y-you're
comin' back, right?
You'll come back?

Yeah.
I'm just checking in.
Good.

Good deal.

[ Exhales ]
Oh, boy.

What a day.
[ Exhales ]

Well, thank you.

I had a dream about you
last night.

What?

Yeah, I did.
I ended up having
a dream about you.

Well, what--
what was I doing?
Well--

Let's go.

[ Meredith
Clears Throat ]

- You coming?
- Yeah.

Oh, you know, you gotta
make sure to bring back the mug,
'cause it's Sybil's favorite.

Or she'll kill you.
Okay.

[ Engine Starts ]

So, we are going
to welcome Meredith back...

without judgment.

We will welcome her
and her sister, Julie,
into our home...

with open arms.

We will try to behave...

like a civilized family
might.

Right, Amy?

Why do you keep
singling me out?

Well, imagine what she
had to have felt in order
for her to call her sister.

She is staying.
You gotta give her
credit for that.

Excuse me. I'd like to
say something here, if I may.

Forget it. And I know
you gave her my mug.

[ Amy ] Let's just
vote Ben off the island.
[ Sybil ] Yeah.

I'm ashamed
of all of you.
[ Patrick ] There's some news.

- Even you.
- He's gonna ask me
for that ring. I know it.

- He can't marry her.
- Thank you.

- Where have you been?
- They don't even
love each other.

[ Sybil ] You just watch.
He's gonna ask me
for that ring.

Mom, e-enough
about the ring.
Huh?

What ring?
Grandma's wedding ring.

Oh.

- Mom--
- Yep.

this is the woman
I'm gonna marry.

We're talking
about Meredith, right?

[ Sighs ]

Mom, do you remember
when I was dating
Becket Royce?

Oh, boy, she was great.
What ever happened to--
Yes, she was nice.

But what
you told me was,

when I met the woman
who was to be my wife...

that I should come to you
because you wanted that woman to
wear your mother's wedding ring.

Well,
I've met that woman,

and I wanna ask you
for the ring
that you promised me.

I'm gonna give it
to Meredith tomorrow.

On Christmas.

No.

Mom.

No.

[ Sighs ]
Mom.

I can't.
That woman--
"That woman"?

Okay, Meredith. Meredith.
It's just--

Honey, I can't give you
my mother's wedding ring
so that she can--

- You made a promise to me.
- Tough shit!

I'm sorry!

I know you're disappointed.

But think how I feel.

Oh, God.

Oh, goddamn it!

Who took
the last of the coffee
and didn't make more?

There's supposed to be
a pot right here.

I mean, who doesn't
know the rules?

I'm sorry.
I was just wa--
You're back.

I can make
more coffee.

All right,
who put all the crap
on my desk? Huh?

[ Patrick ]
Sybil, Meredith's
making us breakfast.

Huh?
It's for tomorrow.

It's for Christmas morning.

It's strata.
It's a Morton family tradition.

[ Mouths Word ]
Um,

I know you and Patrick
have dinner all planned out,

but I wanted
to contribute something.

And my sister's coming.
I just wanted--

I just wanted to do something
for everyone.

Well, that should be nice.

Everything all right
at the inn?

Yes, thank you.

I hope they
put you in a room
near Patrick and Thad.

Thank you
for bringing my mug back.

Oh, it's, uh--

[ Bell Jingling ]

[ Woman ]
Going to be a lot
of broken hearts in this town.

What do you think of this one?
Oh, that's
a beautiful choice.

Platinum setting.
I believe that's
a three-carat stone.

And that's good?
[ Chuckles ]

Thad, what do you think?
Is it big enough?

Let me just
look up the specifics
on that one.

Do you see
a different one?

Don't do it.

What?
Marry her, Everett.

Please don't marry her.

Thad,
I am getting married.

Is this about Mom?

Of course
it's about Mom.

Here we are.

It's a lovely ring.

So, the bread
absorbs this.

Mm-hmm.
And then--
Oh, hi, Susannah!

- Have you guys seen Mom?
- Yeah. She's taking a nap.

[ Liquid Whisking ]

And then, really,
just as fast
as your wrist allows.

Just fast-fast-fast-fast.
Oh.
You've done that before.

Every Christmas.

Who else knows?

You want a brownie?
No, thanks.

They're good.

So, it's worse
this time.

Isn't it?

What do you mean?

Mom, Dad.

I mean Mom.

It's not good.

We only found out
a couple of weeks ago.

But you've known
longer than that.

Well, we weren't sure.

And she wanted to wait,
you know,

until after Christmas
to tell you kids.

[ Sobbing ]

I know, Ben.
I know.

This gets folded in.
Okay.

A touch more oregano.

More Parmesan.

Goes in the fridge
overnight, then bakes
for a bit in the morning.

Are those mushrooms?
Yeah,
those are mushrooms.

Uh, isn't Everett
allergic to mushrooms?

[ Door Opens,
Closes ]
He is?

Hi, honey--
Wha-- Wha--

Oh! Well!
[ Laughs ]

Oh. Well, oka--
Okay!

[ Laughing ]
Honey. Honey!

I love you, Mom.
I love you.

What's going on?

What's wrong?

You and Daddy have fun
getting stoned?

- [ Sybil ]
Kelly!
- Yeah?

[ Ben ]
Okay.

[ Clears Throat ]
What do we got goin' on
over here in Santa's workshop?

Uh, okay, w-what can I do
to be of service, uh, Meredith?

What can I do
to make you happy?
Oh.

Well, I-- I think I'm--
I'm all set.
Okay.

Everett had to
run some errands in town,

and then he and Thad were
going to meet Julie's bus.

Okay.
Now, are those mushrooms?

I didn't know!

What does she look like?

I don't know.
I only saw a picture
of her once.

Careful.
Thank you.

[ Whispers ]
That's not her.

[ Thad ]
Is that her?

- Ohh!
- Julie!

- Oww.
- You all right, miss?

Uh, yeah. I'm okay.
Do you think
you can stand?

- Yeah, uh-- Ow!
- W-W-What is it?

No, it's nothing,
except for my knee.
I'm sorry. I didn't see you.

No, it's my fault.
It's okay.
Can you bend it?

Um, uh, yeah.

Yeah. No, it's fine.
Thank you.

Okay.

[ Sighs ]
Hi.

Hi. [ Laughs ]
Okay. Thanks.

Um--

You all right?
Yeah. No, really.
I'm okay.

Do you got it?
Yeah, I'm set.

[ Julie ]
I'm fine.
[ Kelly ] What happened?

[ Everett ] She fell.
[ Susannah ]
Getting off the bus?

[ Julie ]
This is so embarrassing.
No. I missed a step.

It was totally my fault.

Please.
You've all got to stop.
No, really. Are you sure?

[ Julie ]
It's not even bleeding now.

[ Sybil ]
You poor thing.
Merry Christmas.

[ Julie ]
Merry Christmas.
Amy? Amy, hurry.

These are, like,
a million years old.

What took you so long?

Ah, Amy.
The mean sister.

- [ Patrick ]
You got that right.
- And you're with Thad, right?

Ah-- Yes, I'm Patrick.

Merry Christmas.
[ Meredith ]
Here.

Let me help you.
Why don't we
go to the bathroom.

[ Whispers ]
What a great kid, huh?
Perfect for Ben.

[ Door Closes ]

[ Julie ]
You're kidding.

Strata.
For tomorrow.

Meredith,
what am I doing here?
You're cooking?

Everything
is fine now?

What did you have me
come for?

Well, they certainly
like you, don't they?

[ Chattering ]

Oh.
Looks great.
Julie.

Why don't you tell us
a little bit about
what it is you do.

Oh!

Uh, me? I, uh-- I review
artists' grants proposals.

- At the Rockefeller Foundation.
- Well, Ben is
a documentary film editor.

Yeah, and Amy's a teacher,
and Thad's an architect.

- So what--
- Are you in New York?

[ Sybil ]
San Francisco.

Actually,
I live in Berkeley.

Hey, I wasn't
speaking for you.

Oh, well, you know--

Grandma signed something
really, really bad.

- Yes, she did.
- Yes, Elizabeth tattletale.
I saw what Grandma signed.

Way to go.
Nice signage. Nice.

[ Ben ]
So, how is it that
you and Everett never met?

Julie's impossible.
She's been traveling
all year.

[ Sybil ]
Oh.

Mom,
can I be excused?

Yeah, why don't you
go put your p.j.'s on.
Okay.

Oh.
Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, Elizabeth.
Come back.
Come back.

[ Julie ]
So, your being deaf--

Actually, we were amazed by
how little issue the agency had
over the whole hearing thing.

Ah!

There were so many
more questions about
our history as a couple.

[ Patrick ]
And about money.

This may be a personal question,
but do you have a preference
about the child's race?

Julie.

I'd like
a little black baby.

- Don't you already have
a little black baby?
- Can you dig it?

- I'm so sorry. I--
- No.

It totally doesn't matter
to us.

I was just wondering.

Julie?

We're just so excited about
having this child at all.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I would sign,
but I don't know the language.

Oh. No, it's okay.

Um, well, do you boys
believe in nature vs. nurture?

I mean, is that at all
a concern in terms of bringing
a child into your house?

Not sure I follow you.
Why wouldn't we
bring it into the house?

Well, I-- I just mean
the gay thing.

I mean, there's
no irrefutable evidence
one way or the other.

Yes, they think
they've isolated a gene.

But what does that mean?
They don't know what it's for
or what it does.

Didn't they determine
it's for window treatments?

[ Sybil ]
There you go.
[ Laughing ]

One of the contributing factors
to being gay may
very well be the environment.

Well, look at my drapes.
Aren't they horrible?

There's absolutely no way
it was this environment.

Meredith,
most of us here believe
that sexual orientation...

is the result of
a genetic predisposition,

much like handedness.

- "Handedness"?
- Well, that and Mom.

- She tried to make us all gay.
- What are you talking about?
I didn't try, Everett.

No, true, I did hope--

[ Laughing ]
I mean, I did--
I did desperately hope...

that you would all be gay,
all my boys.

Then you'd never
leave me.

- So sorry, by the way, girls.
- Oh, right.

She would ask me
when I was eight years old
if I was gay.

- Hey, she asked all of us that.
- Yeah, Thad. Stop pretending
you're so special.

[ Laughing ]

[ Patrick ]
Hey, Ben, are you sure
that you're not gay?

Hey, I'm here, I'm queer.
Get used to it.

[ Laughing ]
I gave up hope on Ben
years ago.

You didn't re-- didn't really
hope for gay children, did you?

Well, I'm-- I don't think
that anyone wishes for that.

- Meredith--
- No, I'm sorry.

I mean, please
don't misunderstand me.

I-- I don't--
Well, all I mean to say is...

that just-- I just don't think
that any parent would hope...

for a child
to be challenged like that.

- I'm sorry. I didn't
hear a word you said.
- This isn't coming out right.

All I'm trying to say is--
What I mean to say is,
life is hard enough as it is.

It just seems to me that you
wouldn't want to make it any
more difficult for your child.

I mean, Patrick--
Patrick, you must understand
what I'm trying to say. Right?

What did--
What did she say?

Oh, well, now, boss,
I think we have been hit twice.

- No! No, no. I'm sorry.
- [ Glass Toppling On Table ]

I did not mean that.
Honestly.

Why don't you try saying
what it is you do mean.

Everett.

All right, that's enough.

I'm sorry.

Well, that's enough.

I just think any parent
would want a normal child.

Oh! Goddamn you! Okay?

- Sybil--
- Don't "Sybil" me.

Just for the child's sake.
Just to make it easier
for the child.

That's enough!

[ Sighs ]
That's enough.

- Dad--
- It's too much, Everett.

That's enough.
Excuse me.

[ Everett ]
Meredith.

Meredith.
Thanks a lot.

I know how she can seem--
Hey!

Hey, you!

I--
[ Mouths Words ]

And you are more...

normal...

than any other asshole
sitting at this table.

Okay?

Okay.

I need a fork.

There ya go.

Thanks, Ben.

Is she okay?

How would you feel?

[ Door Closes ]

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Warning Bell Dinging ]
[ Screams ]

[ Crash ]
[ Gasps ]

Uh-oh.

[ Whimpers ]

Oh, my gosh.
[ Engine Starts ]

- [ Tires Screech ]
- [ Crash ]

[ Amy Gasps, Laughs ]
Oh, my God!

Amy. Not funny.

- I'm gonna go see--
- I-I got it. I got it.

Yeah. Yeah.

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

Excuse me.
I've lost my appetite.

Everett.

[ Meredith Whimpering,
Sobbing ]

[ Sobbing Continues ]

[ Tapping On Window ]

[ Exhales ]

What seems to be
the problem here, ma'am?

Um--

Um--

It's--
[ Sobbing Continues ]

Okay.

Come on, move over.
Move over.

I know where we can go.

[ Engine Starts ]

Any luck?

[ Reading, Indistinct ]

- I'm gonna go look for 'em.
- Everett, take our car.

Wait. I'm coming with you.
Can we finish this later?

Uh-huh.
Okay.

Here you go.
Let's go.

She's not in her room.

Excuse me.
Are you sure there are
no messages?

Sorry.
Where would he
have taken her?

Thanks, Gus.
Sure, Ben.

Have a lemon.
Yeah.

** [ Jukebox: Pop ]

* I must have been through *

- I am not a bad person.
- * A million girls *

You're a total mess.
Look at ya.

I am?
I--

[ Clears Throat ]
I mean that in the best
possible sense, of course.

- You know that.
- I do?

I love the gays!

- Gay people!
- They know that.

Then why?

I took her to the nicest
restaurant I know,

and she didn't say
a word to me.

Not one word.
All evening.

But I tried.
And I try, and I--

I would have slept
on the couch!

Maybe you should stop.

Just... stop.

Stop trying.

You know?
It's exhausting.

Trying to keep that lid
screwed on so tight.

Just, uh,

you know, relax.

[ Sighs ]

Try it.

* Free, on my own *

* That's the way I used to be *

* Since I met you, baby *

* Love's got a hold on me *

* Fooled around
and fell in love *
Um, I'm not comfortable.

Okay.
* Fooled around
and fell in love *

Here's the thing, Meredith.

* Fooled around and fell *

- [ Sighs ]
- * In love *

You have a freak flag.

You just don't fly it.

* Fooled around
and fell in love **

[ Julie ] It was the first
totem pole to be raised in that
community in a hundred years.

And it was just because
this guy just--

I-- I guess he was
a-- a fisherman--

would wander around,
you know, from bar to bar...

talking about how he had
this hole in his heart.

That's how he put it. I--

He said he couldn't sleep.

He would just
lie there in bed...

because of this
hole in his heart.

So, you-- you don't even
want to hear this.
No. No, no. Tell me. Tell me.

Uh, well,

uh, the community
got together and, um--

and they found
the guy a log.

The guy had never
carved a thing before
in his life.

It took him five years.

I flew there
for the raising. I--

It was just this...

tiny, tiny island
off of the coast.

The whole town was there.

It was--

It was incredible.

I mean, you just...

couldn't look at it
without crying.

I'd love to see that.

Well,

it's there for you.

* If only you'd believe
like I believe, baby *

* If only you'd believe
like I believe *

* We'd get by *

* If only you'd believe *

- Ben.
- * In miracles **

Ben Stone.
Holy crow.
Brad.

How you doin'?
Good. Good.

Merry Christmas.
You remember David from school.
Yeah.

- Hey, Ben.
- Hey, Dave.
Happy holidays.

So-- So, what's goin' on?
Are you guys workin' tonight?

Yeah. Just got off.
Uh, are you here with Amy?

No, no. I was just
kind of, uh-- I was--

Well,
this is Meredith.
Hi.

Meredith Morton,
this is Brad Stevenson.
Hey.

That's David Silver.
We went to school together.
Hi.

Hello.
Meredith's
Everett's, uh--

Meredith and Everett--
They're, uh-- Well--

Hold the phone.
Brad.

Brad Stevenson?

** [ Continues ]

Oh, my God.
Aren't you the guy...

that popped Amy's cherry?

Do I know you?

Oh, it is!
This is too good.

Oh, you gotta let me
buy you a drink.
What do you say?

And you too. What did
you say your name was?
David.

Yeah. That's what
I'm gonna do.

I am gonna buy
you boys some beers.
[ Mouthing Words ]

Everyone in here.

Bartender,
I would like to
buy a round...

for the house.

[ Gus ]
Comin' right up.

[ Everett ]
Do you feel like you chose?
[ Julie ] What do you--

I don't know.
Chose your life.

Said, "This is the thing
I'm gonna do.
These are the things I want."

Not necessarily because
you were good
at this one thing...

or because everybody
told you that that's
what you should want.

Because everybody said
that's who you were.

I don't know.
I mean, like this
artist grants work.

How did you know that
that's the thing you were
gonna be passionate about?

[ Chuckles ]
Who said I was
passionate about it?

No, no. Don't do that.

Don't joke.

You know, I've been
thinkin' about this--

this monastery
I missed seeing
in Hong Kong.

Like that's
an important thing.

Then you should go.

I want to go to Alaska.
[ Laughs ]

I do. I want to
see that totem pole.

I want to see that thing
that felt like a hole
in the center of that guy.

That thing he needed
to make...

just so he could sleep.

** [ Jukebox: Pop ]
[ Gasps ]
Ah! That's my song!

Finally! My song!

[ Squeals ]

* Ooh, and it's all right *

* It's coming on *
* It's coming on *

* We gotta get right back
to where we started from *
* To where we started from *

* Love is good
Love can be strong *

Hey, Brad.
Dance with me.

Uh, I don't know.

Better do what
she says, Brad.

Oh, come on, Brad.
Dance with me.

Uh--

All right.
* Do you remember
that day *

* When you first came my way *

* I said no one
could take your place *

* And if you get hurt *
* If you get hurt *

* By the little things
I say *
So, Brad.

Listen. You tell me.

I don't know what
I did to her.
I don't know what I said.

Well, you know,
I haven't seen Amy
in over a year.

I'm not really sure
if I can help--

You haven't seen her
in over a year?

Well, how you gonna
get her, Brad, huh?

How do you think
you're gonna get her
like that?

Well, I-- I don't even know
if she wants to see me.
Oh!

So, you know.
Of course she does.
Look.

Brad, I like you.
You should come over
tomorrow.

It's Christmas.
I'm making breakfast.
I'm inviting you.

You come over.

- Do you guys want
another beer?
- Yeah. [ Gasps ]

- Wait. Oh!
- [ Bottles Rattle ]

Do you know
what would be great?

Do you know what would be
just, like, the most
perfect thing right now?

If we could figure out...

how to get a little pot.

Maybe they went back
to the house.

Do you want to
get some coffee?
No.

I don't know.
Get some coffee
or something.

I just--

I thought, uh--

It's funny.

What is?
This.

Everett.

You know, I--

I can't.

So,

good night, okay?

Good night.

[ Sighs ]

[ Knock On Door ]

Oh.
Oh.

Uh, Mr. Stone.

No. It's Kelly.
Please, Julie.

Uh, I don't mean
to bother you.
Is Meredith here?

No.
She hasn't shown up yet.
Ah.

Uh, I, uh, wanted
to apologize to her.

And, uh,

I'd like to apologize
to you also.

Everett.

Honey, look. I--

[ Sighs ]

I'm sorry.

I'm-- I'm-- I'm-- I really am.
I'm not really sure
I believe that.

Everett.

Everett?
[ Door Closes ]

So, what was that dream?

Which?

You told me
you had a dream about me,
but you didn't finish.

You didn't say
what I was doing.

You were shoveling snow.

I-- What?

You were just a little girl
in a flannel nightgown,

and you were shoveling snow
from the walk
in front of our house.

And I was the snow.

I was the snow--
[ Sighs ]

and everywhere it landed
and everything it covered.

And you scooped me up...

with a big red shovel.

You scooped me up.

What?

Nothing.

Hey.

[ Exhales ]
Everybody asleep?

Okay, but--

At 4:30. Right.

Uh-huh.

Hi.
Daddy's here.

John says hi.

- Oh. Merry Christmas.
- "Merry Christmas."

She's nice like this,
isn't she?

All right.

I'm goin' to bed.
Okay.

I'm gonna go too.

We'll see you
tomorrow then?

Mmm.
Merry Christmas.

I love you too.

- You comin' up?
- Are you kidding?
This is my favorite part.

[ No Sound ]

Merry Christmas,

my Susannah.

Merry Christmas, Daddy.

[ Man On TV ]
...pretty proud of you.

It's our last dance
in St. Louis.

I feel like I'm gonna cry.

[ Sighs ]

Hi there.

Well, hello.

Hello.
[ Chuckles ]

You need a haircut.
Mm-hmm.

You should see
how mad he is at me.

[ Sighs ]
It's not her.

You know, honey?
Hmm?

It's not her.

I feel sorry for her.

I do. It's just that
he's making this mistake.

And I won't be here.

I only want him
to be happy.

He'll be fine.

We all will.

No matter what.

You'll see.

I'm scared.

Kelly.

Kelly.

I'm scared.

* Have yourself *

* A merry little Christmas *

* Let your heart be light *

* Next year all our troubles *

* Will be out of sight *

* Have yourself *

* A merry little Christmas *

* Make the yuletide gay *

* Next year all our troubles *

* Will be miles away *

* Once again *

* As in olden days *

* Happy golden days *

* Of yore *

* Faithful friends *

* Who were dear to us *

* Will be near to us *

* Once more *

* Someday soon *

* We all will be together *

* If the Fates allow *

[ Ringing ]

* Until then *

* We'll have to
muddle through *

* Somehow *
[ Ringing Continues ]

* So, have yourself *

* A merry little *

* Christmas *

* Now **

[ Bell Tolling ]

Merry Christmas,
Granddaughter.
Merry Christmas, Grandpa.

Just stockings.
Just stockings.

[ Shower Water Running ]

[ Sighs ]

** [ Humming ]

Ben.

[ Whispers ]
Oh, my God!

[ Knocking ]
Ben.

God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Ben.

Oh.

I'm sorry. I--

- I was looking for Ben.
- [ Whimpers ]

Well, my car's back.

Merry Christmas.

Don't be a jerk.
I just said
merry Christmas.

Dad put you up to this.

I think you and I need to
get something straight.

Here we go.

- Not now, Kelly.
- Right. Okay.

Jesus, Kelly.
You know. Not now.

Yeah. I, uh-- Fine.
Hey, Everett.

You've had
a charmed life, kid.

- [ Chuckles ]
- I blame myself.

Mom, you've never made
anybody's life easier.

- What the hell
do you know about it?
- Oh. I know a little.

I'm sick, honey.

And you can't fix it.

Not even by getting married.

Mom.
What?

[ Sighs ]

I know this is probably
a tall order,

but I need you to
do me a favor...

and try not to be
so perfect.

All right?
I'm far from perfect.

Oh.

I'd hate to see you
miss out on something...

because you have this picture
in your mind...

or you thought you could
change something you can't.

I'd hate to see you not find
what you really want.

Oh, but, Everett,

it's your ring.

It's your decision.

[ Julie ]
I'll find it.

[ Everett ]
Julie.
Oh.

I was-- I was just
getting coffee.
I'm sorry.

No. W-Wait. Julie.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hey.
There you are.

How'd you sleep?

Okay?

[ Ben Screams ]

It's beautiful.
Yeah.

Try it on.
What?

Yeah. J-Just try it on.

I want to see
if it fits.
No.

Come on. Yeah.
Everett. No.

- My hands are bigger
than Meredith's anyway.
- Come on. I just want to see.

- Isn't that sort of bad luck?
- Yeah. It's very bad luck.
It is.

- Sybil, my love, is now
a better time for you?
- Everett, no.

Wow.

That really is beautiful.

Okay, Everett.
What's goin' on?
Julie.

It's a beautiful ring,
Everett. I-- I--

Um--
Oh, no. Okay.

Just a sec. I-- I can't--
No, no, no. We'll
just get a little soap.

Where'd everybody go?
I want to open some presents.
Come on.

- Oh, my God.
- Is it stuck?

Yeah. I mean, yes.
Of course it's stuck.

I told you.
What's stuck?

My hands are bigger
than Meredith's.
Butter. That's it.

Hey. Come on.
Let's get the show
on the road, people.

- She can't get it off.
- Can't get what off?

[ Everett ]
Grandma's ring.
I'm not doing this on purpose.

I didn't say that--
I hate to say this,

but please be careful
of the setting.

- [ Elizabeth ]
Is she all right?
- I'm fine. I'm fine.

Meredith.
Wait a second.
Meredith.

How dare you!

Meredith, wait a second.

Are we opening presents
or what?

- Why's she crying?
- I-- I'm not crying. I--

What?

[ Sybil, Everett ]
Julie. Julie.

Julie.

Oh.
Meredith.

- Where have you been?
- I just-- I just got here.

- [ Sybil ] Julie dear,
are you all right?
- Julie?

Meredith?
What's she doing
in there? Julie?

Meredith.
Julie, let me in.

Meredith.
Julie.

What is all the racket?

[ Sybil ]
All right, Amy.
Ju--

Mornin'.
Morning.

Morning.
Merry Christmas.

- [ All ]
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

What's wrong?
What are you doing?

Oh, Meredith.
What?

What's that?
It's your wedding ring.

Oh, my God! Julie!

All right, everybody.
Let's give them a little room.
Come on. Let's go. Let's go!

He's gonna propose?

Yeah.
If I can get it off.

Well, what are you doing
with my wedding ring?

It's stuck.
He wanted to see it on.

Why did he want to
see it on you?

Where were you last night?

I can't tell you.
What do you mean,
you can't tell me?

No. Meredith. No!

You didn't.

I'm so ashamed.

Jesus, Kelly. What?
What did I do? Wha--

I'm gonna be watching you,
mister. Yeah.

How'd she end up with
the ring on her finger
in the first place?

W-- Uh--
You know-- I--

[ Doorbell Rings ]
Now, who the hell is that?

Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy,
Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy.

Amy.
[ Dog Barks ]

Amy.

Merry Christmas.

Um--

Brad. Brad,
what are you doing here?

Meredith invited me.

I know! It's terrible.
Don't you think I know?

Why did you bring me here?
Don't yell at me.

I needed my sister.
Meredith.

How could you?
I know.

I know.

[ Sighs ]

Let me see
the ring again.

[ Sighs ]

That's it?

Ooh. What do you
think this is?
All right.

Oh, dear. I can't--
Is Meredith out
of the can yet?

What is it, Amy?
Hey.

- Brad?
- Brad.

- What's up, Ben?
- Well-- [ Chuckles ]
Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.
I got a letter from
your mother the other day.

[ Brad ]
She loves you.

Merry Christmas.
Mr. Stone.

[ Brad ]
Hi. Merry Christmas
to you guys too.

You know, I-- I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
Oh, no. Here she is.

Meredith, you know Brad.

Oh. Oh, my God.
I-- I totally forgot.

Maybe you would like to
share with us how it is
that you know Brad.

We were all
at O'Malley's last night.
[ Clicks Tongue ]

[ Chuckles ]
You guys
were at O'Malley's?

Houndstooth, right?
Houndstooth?

- Filene's Basement.
- Really?

Meredith--
Hey. Let's open presents.

- Presents can wait.
- Me next. Me next.

Don't you think
we should talk? Amy.

I have something...

for everyone.

Here. It's for you.

Oh.

Everett, here.
Yeah.

For every-- Wow.
Even me. Thank you.

Amy.

Susannah.

Well, open them.

Oh, yeah.

[ Ben ]
So beautifully
wrapped that...

I almost feel bad.

It's for you.

[ Meredith ]
I found the original
on Everett's desk.

I just thought
it was so beautiful.

That's you and me, kid.

[ Whispers ]
You and me.

Oh, I'm--

I'm sorry.
I just-- I--

I just assumed
that it was Everett.

Thank you very much.

Mere--
You did good.

Meredith,

I'm--

Meredith, we've got to--
Everett, please. I know--
I know what you're gonna ask me.

That's my point.
I don't think you do.
Brad, you look hungry.

I'm gonna pop
the strata in the oven.
We really need to--

Please don't. No.
Will you please stop talking
and listen?

No, I will not
marry you!

What?

I'm sorry, Everett.

I can't marry you.

I, uh--
I didn't ask you.

You wh-- What?
You said--

I'm not asking you
to marry me.

You're not?
Then you didn't--

[ Chuckles ]

That's just great,
isn't it?

It's just perfect.

It's not like I haven't
been humiliated enough.

Meredith, it's not like--
Oh, it's not?

This isn't exactly
the moment you've all
been waiting for?

- You all hate me so much.
- Meredith, that's not true.

Oh, I know what you see.

Meredith the-- the spoiled,

crazy, racist,

bigot bitch
from Bedford, right?

That's what you all think?

That is. That's--
That's what you all see
when you look at me.

Not-- Not good enough
for Everett.
Not like all of you.

She comes
all the way up here
to ruin our Christmas,

and-- and then she sleeps
with his brother?

What?

[ Whispers ]
I-- I slept with your brother.
You slept with who?

With "whom."

- Do not look at me.
- With Ben. I slept with Ben.

Uh, excuse me. C-- C-Could
you just back up for a minute
there? Everett, we did not--

- What's the use?
- Meredith, we did not
sleep together.

- We didn't?
- No.

Isn't there anybody
that loves me?

[ Sniffling ]

- Nice.
- Who? Me?

Yeah. You.
[ Kelly ]
Yeah.

[ Gasps ]

[ Both Gasp ]

Oh! Oh, my God.
[ Laughing ]
Meredith.

[ Sobbing ]

Okay. Everett, look. I--

I just want you
to know that--

[ Sobbing ]
Oh, my God. No, no.
It's all right, sweetie.

Let's just get this off.
You're gonna be fine.

We'll fix your pretty hair.
I'm just as good
as any of you.

Of course you are.
Better, probably.

[ Kelly ]
Ben.

I'm gonna--
[ Kelly ]
Everett.

Everett! Everett.
Everett. Come on. Hey.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Sorry. I don't know
if we've met.
Hi.

I'm Brad.
Julie.

Nice to meet you.
[ Kelly ]
Somebody's gonna get hurt.

What's so great
about you guys?
Nothing.

We're just--
It's just that
we're all we've got.

- We're not so great.
- And you--

You're the worst!

I'm the wo--
[ Screams ]

Nothing happened.
Nothing happened.

Stop it. Everett.

Stop chasing me.
I didn't do anything.
Stop chasing me.

- Boys.
- Why does she think
she slept with you?

Well, we were
kind of wasted.

- [ Kelly ]
What's this nonsense?
- [ Screams ]

[ All Scream ]

Boy.

- [ Crash ]
- [ Ben ]
Everett.

Everett.

Ow!

Everett, stop.

Not the ja--
Not the jacket.

Not on the jacket.
Ow!

[ Women Giggle ]

You-- You okay, Everett?
How could you do that?

I-- I didn't do--
I didn't do
anything to you.

She-- She was passed out.

I slept on the--
I slept on the floor.
Nothing happened.

This is a brand-new--
Hey. Look.

You don't even love her, man.
You don't love her.

[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]

[ All Scream ]

Kelly.

[ Kelly ]
Are you okay?

To Bedford. Yes.

Okay. At 5:30.

And-- And that's, uh--
that's from campus?
[ Ring Hits Ground ]

Okay. You too.

Merry Christmas.

[ Sighs ]

[ Clears Throat ]

I'm sorry, Everett.

No. I'm sorry
for everything.

You don't hate me,
do you?

No.

Of course not.

Um,

was this for me?

Elizabeth,
you see Julie?

No.

Elizabeth, where did
you get that ring?

Elizabeth.

She said to give it
to Everett.

She said to say good-bye.

It's not a clock radio.

Wow, Brad.

- Where's he going?
- Who?

[ Car Engine Starts ]

Where are they going?

Wha--

Whoa.

[ Honking ]

Get in.

A pair.

What do you say
you get out of
these clothes?

You smell a little
like puke.

Think he's found her?
I don't know.

Hey.
Have you seen her?

No.
The guy
in there said--

Julie.

You didn't even
say good-bye.

[ Chuckles ]
You were a little busy.

Julie.

Well,
my bus is here.

You can't go.

[ Man ]
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

Let me help you
with this.
Okay. Thanks.

No.
No, you can't go.

Everett--
Please. Stay, Julie.

I-- It's-- It's too much.

No. No, it's not.

It's not.

Stay.

Stay.

Everett.

Julie.
Everett.

I--
Julie.

I just wanted to ask
if you were doing anything
for New Year's.

Are you comfortable?

** [ Humming:
"Joy To The World" ]

* Plains *

* Repeat the sounding joy *
** [ Humming ]

* Repeat the sounding joy *

* Repeat **
** [ Humming ]

** [ Ends ]

"Repeat the sounding joy."

[ Chattering ]

[ John ]
Hello. Merry Christmas.

John!
Daddy!

Merry Christmas.
Hi. Mmm!

Okay. Let's start with...

who's that guy
Amy's making out with
in the ambulance?

No.
Yeah.

Sybil.
Mmm.

Sweetie,
it's ready.

It's snowing.

Hey! Merry Christmas!
Hello.

[ Susannah ]
Merry Christmas.
Hello.

Hey, you guys.
Oh, my gosh. Hello.

Oh, my goodness.
I kn--

Hi, precious.
Hi, baby.

Are Everett and Julie
here yet?

Oh, they called a while ago.
They said they'd be here
in time for dinner.

Patrick.
Hey.

Hi. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

Yes. You too.
You look great.

Dad.

Oh, merry Christmas.
[ Amy ]
Hey.

Hi. Good to see you.
Merry Christmas.

Would you look
at this young man?

[ Gasps ]

Hi. Hello.

He is the king of kings.
King Gus.

King of the world.
Look at you.

Any luck with
the stockings?

No. I can't find 'em.

[ John ]
Hey, you guys. We're ready.
[ Gasps ] They're ready.

Are you ready?
You want to see the tree?

Yes. The tree.

[ Susannah Whispering ]

Hey. We've got
more ornaments.

[ Ben ]
Oh, wow.
There he is.

Look at this guy.
Hello.

Hey. You look good.

Nice to see ya.
Hey. How are you?

Merry Christmas.
Brad, come on.
Check the fuse.

I'm gonna get this one.
Okay. Are we all set?
Yeah.

Brad, you got it.
I got it.
I think we're good.

Okay.
"'And then,' cried Max,

'Let the wild rumpus
start.'"

[ All Gasp ]

Good tree, Daddy.

It is.

It's a very good tree.

Ooh. Look at this one.

Here. Amy.

Thanks.

[ Everett ]
Hello.
[ Julie ] Merry Christmas.

Anybody here?

[ Susannah ]
Oh, they're here.
Let's go say hi.

Go see your Uncle Everett.

[ Chattering ]

You okay?

** [ Pop ]

* Precious love
I give to you *

* Blue as the sky
and deep in the eyes *

* Of a love so true *

* Beautiful face
You make me feel *

* Light on the stairs
and lost in the air *

* Of a love so real *

* You can count on me *

* Count on my love *

* Count on me *

* Count on my love *

* To see you through *

* Emerald eyes
and China perfume *

* Caught on the wheel
and lost in the feel *

* Of a love so sweet *

* Ruby lips
You make my song *

* Into the night
saved by the light *

* Of a love so strong *

* And you can count on me *

* Count on my love *

* Baby, you can count on me *

* Count on my love *

* To see you through *

** [ Vocalizing ]

* You can count on me, girl *
* Count on me *

* You can count on my love *

* Count on my love *

* Precious love
I give to you *

* Blue as the sky
and deep in the eyes *

* Of a love so true *

* Beautiful face
You make me feel *

* Light on the stairs
lost in the air *

* Of a love so real *

* And you can count on me *

* Count on my love *

* Baby, you can count on me *

* You can count on me *
* Count on my love *

* Baby, you can count on me *

* You can count on me *
* Count on my love *

* Baby, you can count on me *
* You can count on me *

* Count on my love *

* Baby, you can count on me *

* Count on my love **