The Dolls (1965) - full transcript

Yes? Oh, no, Giorgio!
Please, letme be!

We just had lunch,
we'll get indigestion!

Besides, I don't want to, it's too
early' Just let me read, will you?

Giorgino, come
and sit down here with yourwife,

instead of pacing up and down
like an animal in a zoo!

Why don't you pick out a book
and read, too?

Great'

Nothing less"'

"He came with his disciples"'

Just stay here'
I've only got 2 pages'

"In the morning the sun
smiled upon them and"'



He's marvelous, this writer'
You must read it too, Giorgio'

Hello? Luisa? Luisa? Hello?

Oh, dear"' Excuse me, Mother,
but will you call me up later?

How's that? Will you letme go?
I'm talking to Mamma!

He's here, sitting on my skirt'

It's Sunday, but there happens
to be no game today'

Is she dead?

Not murdered!

Jumped off the terrace, I know' Too
bad, but you must have expected it'

She couldn't spend herwhole life
on that terrace'

My sister's turtle
committed suicide'

Yes, Mamma dear,
I'm listening to you'

So, what happened?
You went upstairs"'

What? All night did you?
Tell me!



Embarrassed were you?
Who told you what, Mammina?

Giorgio?
How does it affect Giorgio?

- Did you tell her
anything smutty? - Me?!

But"' Mamma, no"' No, not at all'
I'd like to explain'

Listen, Mamma, I can explain that!

No, no' Mamma, let me just say"'
I've got 5 minutes, so let me talk

You were sitting down watching TV'
I was in the kitchen making coffee'

Right? I bent down to get the cups
and at that moment Giorgio came in'

All he did"' I admit
that he gave me a little slap'

Maybe you did see
Giorgio put his arm around me'

Alright, he kissed me, too'
You saw all of this?

No, you're mistaken! Do you think
we do such things in a kitchen?

Mamma mia! And your kitchen, too?

She's very mad!
You want to speakto her?

Mamma, please, Giorgio and I
are married, it's alright!

You think that we did it
only to annoy you'

No, listen, Mamma,
I'm going to get annoyed now'

You have no right to say that, he
has the greatest respect for you'

He called you "a laughing hyena"?
He must have said it as a joke'

What do you mean,
he doesn't like you?

He's always saying: "Why doesn't
Mammina come over more often?"'

He's only jealous of his privacy'
We've only been married a year!

Mamma, try to understand!
Of course we love you'

You want to come and live near us?
Where?

In the apartment across the way?
They have it rented, I told you'

A girl called Armenia'
She's very nice, I guess'

She knows a big manufacturer'

She won'tmove out,
she just moved in 'Alright, bye!

Alright' You too, Mammina'
Tonight, yes'

Oregano, a little oil
and a clove of garlic'

Of course you need the garlic, it
gives flavor to the whole thing!

Yes, Giacinta is back from Brazil,
she brought back papayas'

No, not poppies, papayas'

- In the Amazon there are rivers
600 miles wide'- 600 miles!

Well, 6600"'
I don't rememberexactly'

What did you say, Mamma?

No, it's nothing' Giorgio is a bit
nervous, it's so warm outside'

In Brazil there are underwater
horses that live that way'

Yes, it's true! Giacinta was there
and saw them and you didn't!

I was talking to Giorgio, who
looked at me as if I were insane'

But, no, it's the truth'

Listen, I went into the kitchen,
I bent down to get the plates,

and at that moment Giorgio came in'

Of course that's not all he thinks
about, we love each other!

I created a nest
and I know he's happy'

We read books a lot
andtalk about cultural things"'

About music, birds, books"'

We talk for hours, he's not bored'

He looks at me with those
beautiful eyes, like a stallion'

He does also go to church, Mamma!

This morning I took him along to
Mass and he remained till the end'

Yes, of course Giorgio would rather
have you living across the way'

Believe me, thatgirl over there,
that Armenia is so common"'

Enormous hips and vulgar"'
You wouldn'tbelieve'

You've never seen such heavy legs,
honestly'

Watch out? For what?

She's not the kind of girl
Giorgio would pay attention to'

Because she's vulgar, and the one
thing he can't stand isvulgarity'

Afterall, he hardly had any
experience beforewe got married'

In someways he's so innocent'

He used to go where? What kind
of house? Who toldy ou that?

He must have gone to make a study'

You know he's always been
interested in social"'

No, nobody is working here today'

I'm making him give up smoking'
He's down to 3 cigarettes a day'

When he starts smoking, I say:
"A kiss ora smoke?"'

Most of the time hewants a kiss'

Where did I hide them?
In that little house in the hall'

With the music box inside,
that way I can always hear him'

Yes, she phoned me'
She kept me on the phone forever'

They're not getting along' They're
on the point of a separation'

Yes' No! Tell me, she did?

They came
from such different backgrounds!

And certainly she was no saint
before she married'

Yes, yes, Mummy, it certainly was'
I know'

No, Giorgio never mentioned her'

From that point of view,
Giorgio has been lucky'

The fact that when Giorgio married
me I was innocent is important'

Not that Giorgio goes around
all day saying: "Thanks",

but inside himself
I know that he's pleased'

I'd better ring off
before Giorgio gets nervous'

Giorgio, I'll be right with you'

Goodbye now! Yes, Mamma, I shall'

lft here's an empty apartment,
I'll let you know'

l told you, a girl is living there'

All she does
is sunbathe on the terrace'

No, Mamma!
Giorgio hasn't even seen her!

Otherwise, I know, he'd complain
about her in notime'

You know the apartment they're
building across the street?

The foreman
can't getthe men to work'

No, they aren't on strike at all'
They watch hersunbathing'

You know
whats he said tothe "portiere"?

I'm so broad in the beam
I can't even ride the bicycle'

Yes, she must be a nymphomaniac,
sure! I've got to tell you this'

Aman knocked at her door,
he was selling books'

She came to the door
in her negligee'

Her neighbor heard her say:
"Isn't it hot today? Terrible!"'

And he said: "Don't let me stop you
from doing what you were doing"'

Then she took off the negligee"'
She didn't have a stitch on!

Say hello to Julia' They're coming
to take you for a ride? Nice!

A brand new what?
Are you sure it's not a used one?

If she bought a new car to make us
feel inferior, she's mistaken!

No, he only wantsto show off'
And I know Giulia'

Mamma, let's drop it'
Mamma, let me speak now!

I'm not aggravated, Mamma! But it
was Giorgio who gave you the TV!

It was not
to keep you in the house!

No, you shouldn't keep it a secret,

because friends tell me how
my brother-in-law gossips about us'

He despises Giorgio'
"He's not good"'

Anything
to make my Giorgio feel inferior'

Mamma, Giorgio knows just
what to sayto him'

He'll break his head one day
and that will bethe end!

No, no, we're not jealous,
because we have enough food'

To run a car
when you haven't any food"'

They'd be better off
if they stayed at home'

They could buy their child a meal
once in a while'

What do you mean? Oh, starting in
again about a grandchild?

When we are ready, we'll have
a baby' It's not Giorgio's fault!

I assure you that my husband
always attends to his duties'

lf they kept their nose
out of our affairs,

they could pay attention to theirs'

What difference
does it make to me?

In his family there's been
insanity, as we all know'

The priest told my sister
before the ceremony' Giorgio!

Do you think I am a horse? Stop!
Hello?

I'm not angry' He's
a brother-in-law, it's bad luck'

Your friends you choose,
your relatives you're stuck with'

No, no, no, it's all the same'
Are you offended?

I can hear in your voice
that you are'

Then say something nice to me' I
didn't mean to insult you, Mammina'

Alright, goodbye, Mamma'

For dinner?
Chicken with rice and salad'

No, nothing with pepperoni,
you know I can't eatit'

The curtains turned out beautiful!

I had them turned up their ends,
then added rayon'

No, they're not too many!

What is it?

Signorina, could I interest you
in some books?

- Oh"' Come in!
- Thank you'

- Terribly hot today, isn't it?
- Isn'ti t? - Terribly hot'

I hope I'm not stopping you
from what you were doing'

Mamma, let me explain it, alright?

I bent down to get the saucers,
and at that moment Giorgio"'

- Nicholson?
- No'

- And then you'll come to Ponte
Flaminio'- Ponte Flaminio, yes'

- Nicholson? - Then follow the
road, it will bring you to"'

- Nicholson? - Corso Francia'
Then you come to via Cassia'

- You'd better not go there!
- Please! - Nicholson?

- When you arrive here, you'll see
a sign saying "Firenze"'- I see'

- No, take the "autostrada"'
- What do you want? - Nicholson'

- Probably waiting there'
Excuse me'- Nicholson?

Yes, is your car outside?
I'll be right there'

Thank you'

- You're my guide, right? - I'll
be with you as long as you're here'

- Where are you parked? - Right
outside, ready to go'- So am I'

- Here it is, the latest model'
- Splendid'

No, I'll do the driving today'
Please, take this'

Thanks' I know exactly whereto go,
I marked all on my maps'

- Call that man over'
- Him? - No, thatone!

- What's his name?
- I don't know, just get him over'

- What should I say?
- That I want to meet him'

- Don't you know him?
- No! - No, no way'

That is not included 'You want
to talk to men, do it yourself!

It's not what you're thinking,
at all' He's getting away!

I can't make up
why Italian men are so compulsive'

I'm in Italy studying eugenics'

- You know the word "eugenics"?
It's a science'-A science?

I'm a scientist' Now, come on!

Two centimeters, three, four"'

I want to seeyourneck'

Sorry, yourears eliminateyou'

- Interested in those?
- No, thank you'

The lady over there, a tourist,
is doing some scientific research'

- She'd like to meetyou'-What
for? - To ask you a few questions'

- Itwon't take long'- That one?
- No, the one in the white coat'

In that case, sure!

- To make headway with tourists,
buy them liquor! -You're right'

- My name is Trani'
- Zamperini'

- You go for ears?
- Just testing'

Here, Ulla'

No more' I should never begin'
Bad, alcohol! Milk's the thing'

- And now, signori,
I'll put you to a test'-A test?

- Why? -Watch closely' I'll make
a shovel with these toothpicks'

And drop some ashes
into the center'

Your job is to get the ashes
out of the center' Pay attention'

You mustonly movetwotoothpicks'

By rearranging the correct ones,
you should have a new shovel'

If we danced, I could pass it'

I prefer this experiment
to get to know you' It's serious'

- That's no tright'-Why not?
- You moved too many'- I did not'

- Itellyou, you did'
Alright, one, two, three'- Right'

- Isn't that what I did? - Don't
you want to move the sticks?

These tests are just forkids'

- As an engineer, you should
be able to do this'-An engineer?

It's impossible! We need a slide
rule to figure this out' Drink!

Itis not impossible' You musthave
forgotten how to use your brains'

Notwhenwe needto'

- Come on, let's forget'
- No, lthink I know how it works'

- Alright 'You have 20 seconds'
- Here's your change'- Thankyou'

I'll repeat'
Pay attention this time'

I've placed ashes
in the center of the shovel'

You must move two toothpicks
to form a new shovel with no ashes'

- Only two, understand?
- One"' and two'

Who requested you to do that?

You were supposed to stay in the
car and not ruin the things I do'

- Sorry, don't get mad'- Mess with
another test and you'll get fired!

You failed, the whole pack ofyou!
Leave me alone, now! You can go!

- Look at the size of thatfoot!
- You'd like to see the rest, huh?

- Who put it there?
- The Romans, I guess'

- You never told me"' Tell me what
your name is'- I did' Valerio'

- I was very cross with you and I
apologize'- I guess it was wrong'

Of course it was!
Those results were important!

It's not a joke, that test'
Next time, stay out'

But they couldn't have passed it'
You passed it, though'

I'm sowarm"' lthink I drank
too muchwine' Much too much'

- Ten toes isn't normal'- Don't
worry, it's the effect of the wine'

Handsome'

You're a man, a man!

- Valerio?
You can sing, can't you? - No'

But all Italians can sing!

- Don't you want to sing? - I
never sang that song in my life'

- I'll kiss you if you sing a song'
- Will you? - Sure'

- I'll kiss you again when
you're done'- I'll sing'- Good'

- After you'll give me
a real kiss? - Ok'

- Swear? -Yes'-What song?
- Whatever you think I'd enjoy'

Don't stop'

Stop'

I'm alright, I don't need any help'

No, no'

Careful"'

Look out! It's a good idea
to walk down backwards!

- It's hard, isn't it?
- It sure is'

My clothes feel so sticky!

What's she doing? Undressing?

She likes milk'

That's right'
Come here to me'

- What a body! You're beautiful!
- I know'

But you're sweet to tell me'

I really enjoyed myself
this evening'

- Very much! - But there's so many
things we haven't done yet!

You're so cute!

- I'm a wild animal!
- No, Valerio! Stop!

- Sorry, I wasn't going
to hurt you'- I know'

You couldn't, could you?
Come here?

- You'd like to go to bed, right?
- Yes'- Down, boy'

- Why not? - I don'twant
marriage'- Marriage?

I agree with you'
Certainly, it doesn't interest me'

- Relax'- I can't consider you' I
must get an Italian who's perfect'

Andyou are just not perfect'
Sorry, Valerio, but you aren't'

I want a baby to take back home'

I have a job and my freedom, I
don't want a man to tie me down'

I wantthe father of my child
to bethe perfect Latin male'

It's here 'You should read this'
I'll lend it to you before I go'

I read every single study
on eugenics, I must'

"Virility: When a man is a man"'

"A man has virility
when he possesses a long thigh"'

You've a shortthigh'

"Point2' The muscles in the neck
ought to be strong and firm"'

You don't have that either,
Valerio'

"The face should be oval-shaped"'
I'm sorry'

"And the ears perfectly formed"'
You don't have any of these things'

Don't be upset,
it's difficult to find'

One has the thigh, one has the ear
that's perfect or the neck maybe"'

but nobody has them alltogether'

Most men don'teven
have intelligence, and you do'

That's one thing you have, brains'

- It's very late, Valerio'
- You want me to go? -Yes'

- But we're good friends' Please'
- That's unfair'- Please, Valerio'

- You really want me to go?
- Yes'- Then, I'd better leave'

- Ciao, see you tomorrow!
- Yes, tomorrow'

Valerio, ciao!

No, no, no, Valerio!
That's it' Behave' Goodnight'

Sure'
You be good, Valerio, go away'

- Now, what'sthis? Are you
selling those? - They're foryou'

They're for me?

Who told you to get flowers?

Spending money"'You have no right
to do this' Take them up!

I should never have allowed myself
to drink, it's bad' Come on!

Coming? Let's go!

Last night I meant
every single word that I said'

You thought that I was drunk and
that the wine was making me talk'

I really want to find
the perfect Latin male'

- You must really be mad'- No,
it's the girls who marry that are'

They go out and select any man at
all' I won't sink into that trap'

I don't want romance or marriage,
that's all sentimental'

I'm fond of you, but you are
a terrible specimen, that's all'

Please, help me find a man
that's perfect' Willyou try?

- Let me out ofhere!
- What are you doing?

I'm leaving! If you want the
perfect man, do your own looking!

Goodbye!

- You're being paid to drive! - To
drive, not to hunt men for you!

Valerio!
Please, come back!

You stop this!

Valerio!
Will you come back?

Valerio!
What happened to you, stupid?

- Your dogjumped out?
- It's not a dog!

My driver just abandoned the car!

Your driver ran out on you?

- Where is he?
- He's walking down there'

Do you want me to gethim?
He's just down the road'

No, it's alright' No, thankyou'
I can't let you bother'

- Are you driving far?
- I can't, not alone'

- I can be your driver'
- That's very kind ofyou'

- My pleasure'- Just a minute,
excuse me'- Go right ahead'

- May I help? - It's extremely
kind of you'- It's not'

You're crazier than I thought!
You leave my car in the street?

- You left me in the street!
- Now I'm back, let's go'

- You're stupid'You're not at all
like this gentleman'- Thankyou'

- You can follow us'- That wreck
may not be able to keep up'

- What's wrong with my car?
- Go away!

Do you mind?

Don't worry, he'll be alright
in a day or two'

Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one'

Twenty-nine, thirty 'Alright,
you can stop now, that's enough'

Over here, I wantto measureyou'
Come on! Howtall areyou?

- I'm about6' 3"'
- Measure and see'

- Bet that I'm right'- I don't
know yet'-What is the prize?

One"'two'

Ulla, Ulla"'
When am I goingto get my prize?

- You haveto answe rone question
first' Be honest'-Alright, ask'

Willyou have a childwith me?

- Don't worry, we won't take
chances'- That isn't what I mean'

- I promisethere is no danger'
- Letgo ofme!

- What's wrong? I'll be careful!
- You missed the whole point!

I want to have a son just like you'

So you're looking for a husband!
Look somewhere else, you're crazy!

- I don't want to marry you'
- What's the kid for?

I want freedom
and still have a baby'

After the pregnancy,
you'll have no trouble atall'

You'll have papers and everything,
you'll just haveto sign'

I never even signed
my letters to my mother!

- I'll payyou forit!
- Pay me forwhat?

- A baby of yours'-You're insane'
I'm going to slap you so hard"'

I thought you liked me a little'

I'm crazy about you' Now,
come here and stop aggravating me!

- Then come to the lawyer's'
- Why should I?

- It'll only take a minute'
- Forgetthe lawyer'

- For my sake'
- Forget it!

- Come in'
- How are you?

- You might like to look this over'
- Thankyou'

- Signore"'-What is it?
- I've got a question'

You mightcall me old-fashioned,
but I'd have to know the child'

Of course there's no guarantee
there would be a child'

Tell me, if you were in my place,
would you sign?

- In blood'-Well, I'll sign!
Let's start this baby!

No there, please'

Shopping, huh? We're all finished'
Give them to me'

I guess now
you'll have to be going'

- You are my employer till
midnight'- I'm not going anywhere'

So you can make plans for yourself
this evening' Good luck, Valerio'

- Good luck'- I nearly forgot"'
You want your pay, don'tyou?

- Have you got a girlfriend?
- No"'Yes'Why do you care?

- You work tomorrow? - Tomorrow?
I'm driving a woman down to Tivoli'

Ah, Tivoli"'
Too bad theweek's over'

I'd love to see Tivoli before I go,
but"'who's got thetime?

- What did you expect?
- What'sthat? - Nothing'

I really have to go now' Massimo
is due soon and I have to prepare'

Massimo is going to come"'

Valerio? Here's the money
I owe you forthe car'

Thank you'
For you, please, take it'

Keep it'

Don't worry' I know
you think what I'm doing is bad'

But nowthat I found
the perfect man, it's all over'

Whatare you waiting for?
What are you hanging around for?

Can't even sing "Oh, sole mio"!
Tivoli would be a bore anyway!

Yes, operator? My lawyer?
Alright'

I'm here! Your faithful lawyer!

This place has allthe charm
of a rocket ship'

Where are you?

Ulla, here is your legal advisor'

- Mamma mia! -What'sthat?
- Champagne'- No champagne!

No alcohol, mustn't be distracted'

We must remain relaxed and calm'
I'll turn the lightdown'

- You'll follow the instructions'
- Yes, lwill, yes'- Fine'

- My God! - Stop! You idiot!
- I loveyou! - Stop it!

- What do you think you're doing?
You mustn't get excited'-Alright'

- No more Neapolitan passion'- It
was Roman"' and universal, too'

You've gotto stay calm now'
Ithink this music will help us'

lthink it's warped'

I've studied the system,
so just obey!

Forget whaty ou're here for,
calm down'

- Are you wearing perfume?
- Yes, it's special'

Why did you put perfume on?
You want to ruin things?

Hello? Valerio? I don't want
to talk to you 'What do you want?

Tourists"'

You shouldn't be here'
No, go away! No, you can't!

- No, Valerio, go home!
- Who is that, the driver?

If you want,
I'll give him another punch'

Nevermind! You ruined everything,
with your champagne and perfume'

- We're both nervous, we're better
off to try tomorrow'- Tomorrow?

Who is nervous? I'm not at all'

If you stopped that music,
I'd be less nervous'

I'm a bit excited, like my car' If
the motor is cold, it can'tstart'

Hey, wait a minute"'

You funny girl!
You like pornography, is that it?

It's not pornography, it shows you
a system to have perfect babies'

How come nobody needed a system
before? They always had babies'

I suppose we Italians
are old-fashioned'

Ulla, my system never fails'
It will work! My little Ulla"'

- Massimo! - Ulla! - Here's
something I've been saving'

- Passion'
- For me? "Cin cin"'

- Whatis it? It's terrible!
- It's Vitatonic'

- You mustn't be so nervous'- I'm
not nervous'We can relax together'

No, I can't consider a relation
with you until you are tired'

- But I am tired! Tired of
waiting! - No, physically tired'

When a man is physically tired,
he's more likely to have a son'

- We'll be exhausted together'
Ulla, give me a kiss! - Stop it!

- First, come with me! -Where?
- To the bathroom'- The bathroom?

- Yes'
- Come on'

- Mamma mia, finally!
- Sit down there'

- Whatis it, Ulla? Come here!
- You have to get tired first'

- You must"'
- Ulla, I swear that I am tired!

- You're not tired enough!
- How long do I haveto do it for?

- I'lltell youwhen to stop'
- You want me to count?

- One, two, three"'
- Hello?

I've donetwelve, Ulla!

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen"'

I wantto apologize
for this afternoon'

You made me so mad' It's my fault,
so I phoned to tell you I'm sorry'

Because"'Well, because"'

I thought the whole thing over
and I wish you'd do the same'

Listen, Ulla"'
at what point are you?

Ulla!
I'll get too tired, please!

If it's not too late, get ready,
I'll wait for you in the lobby!

Ifyou go through with this thing,
you're nothing but"'

Sorry, I didn't mean' Ulla,
the car is here, ready for you'

You said you wanted to go
to Tivoli' Let's go and have fun!

I won't take away your freedom,
you can find all the men you want'

We'll measure their legs,
intelligence, earlobes"'

whatever you want'

I mean, there's plenty of men"'
That man upstairs is vulgar'

If the son is like him, he'll throw
you out on the street one day'

Listen, Ulla"' please"'
please, come down!

If I promise not to marry you,
what have you got to lose?

I swear I won't marryyou!

Ulla? I'm ready'

Ulla?

Ullina?

Ulla? Ulla?
Where areyou hiding?

Ulla? I'm tired now!

- Giuseppe! -What do youwant?
- Come up here! - See you later'

- Carlo?
- Eh? - Come inside!

Dario? Come on, here comes Papa,
you getin the house! You hear?

- Hi, Papa! - Ciao!
Whatarewe having for dinner?

Come in and I'll letyou know!

You say youwant
to start yourlife anew now'

You say that things
have all gone bad for you now'

Time has put outthe fire,

give in to your desire'

Break from your chains
and make your dreams come true now'

Don'twait around"'

'cause hereyou are'

Don't wait around"'

love isn't far'

Don't wait around"'

I have a roof over my head,
beans and pasta, a husband"'

My life could be called "good",
couldn'tit?

Couldn't it?

A woman needs so little"'
A word to touch her heart'

You never even say goodbye
to me in the morning'

A kind word is the thing I ask'

Thewaythings are'

Signor Battiferri!
Just a minute'

- What is it? You got somethingto
sell? - No, I want to talk to you'

- What for? - Do you remember
when I got run down on the street?

I've gotthe scar, see?
Righthere'

And then this lawyer I got

sued the driver
and gotme 140'000 lire'

- That's nice'
- I was just thinking"'

If I paid you,
would you do me a little favor?

- It's notasking much'
- Well, whatis it?

Kill my husband for me, wouldyou?

- I? -Yes! Look, it's easy!
You can do it, I'm sure'

Hit him with your truck and then
keep going' He won't even notice'

And you can use the money'

With my bad tires,
I'd end up in the ditch'

Look, you knowthere's a dark
stretch on the road, bythe ditch'

There's a bend there, it curves'

He always comes that way,
and he's always drunk at night'

lwon'tdo it, I can't,
notwith those badtires ofmine'

I told you, it's too dangerous'

I'll advance you some money'

Buy new tires, and you'll be
increasing the value of your truck'

I'd give you all the money"'
but that's notgood'

Not that I don't trustyou'
Signor Battiferri"'

- Keep quiet and let methink!
- Should I eat this money?!

Save a life, signor Battiferri!

- It will be him or me'
- He doesn't love you?

My husband forgot that word
long ago' He's like he's dead'

It's been years since we made love'

What can I do? I'm still young,
I want to enjoy life!

- You've got to help me'- It'll
be 2400 lire in advance, for tires'

Your money is righthere'
When will you do it?

- I want to know'
- Tonight! It will be done!

- Where is that wine I asked for?
- First you want it then you don't'

- What's the matter with you?
- I'm worried about my husband'

- It's so late, he's usually here'
- Maybe he fell under a train'

So you are here'

You might respect a lady
when she's worried'

- It's late for my husband'
- Why be upset?

He has a couple of drinks,
he drives down the road"'

There could be an accident'

And what would they say?
"The car went out of control"'

Giovanna, to me it makes
no difference, I'm taking off now'

Goodbye, Righetto'

Hey, Giovanna, I've gotsome good
wine at my place' Come on over'

- I upset you? -You're under
my leg'- I didn't notice'- I did'

- Come on, you'll forget the
old man'- Oh God, I'm so upset!

There she is,
still sitting in a bar room!

Stop for a drink
and there's a wife, too'

Alright, get home or you'll
be spending all my money, too!

Damn, that girl really gets to me!

Hey, what's this? You've only set
it for one? You eaten already?

None for me'

You know I eat at this end'

Same slop every night!
Pasta and beans, pasta and beans"'

Giovanna in the hands of that
old man"' but what can I do?

- Give me anothe rone! - Marlon
Brando! Glasses cost money!

- Ever loved a woman?
- Sure' Then I got married'

You heard about Battiferri?

He ran his truck into the ditch
tonight, right off the road'

- He did? How? - The fool
shouldn't drive the truck any more'

They shouldtake his license away,
he almost hit me!

I didn't see him until he was a few
feet from me, then I jumped off'

- Lucky! - He drowned?
- He'll be in hospital for a while'

- His truck's gone'
- Poor him!

- This afternoon he had 4 new tires
put on his truck'- Did he?

What a waste ofmoney'

I must have skidded 30 feet,

I remember the water
coming toward me, and that's all'

At 75, your reflexes aren't
so good'And now my truck's gone!

And I still got my husband' Signor
Battiferri, please, listen to me'

- I must keep the money'
- I couldn't help it'- Poor man'

- I may die here and who'd know?
Who'd care if I died here? - No!

I don't know anybody"'
Nobody's going to bury me!

They'll send me to the mortuary,
they'll cut me up'

- You mustn't say that, please'
- Nobody worries aboutme'

One of those young interns
was talking about it this morning'

You'll be fine! I would like
to give you more! Really!

But you've gotto let me keep some
of the money' I have to have some'

- Nobody kills anyone for nothing'
- Get yourself a professional man!

A professional killer!
An amateur can'thelp'

- Doyou know one? - There was
someone"'- Tell me'Who is it?

- Peppe Baffolino' He killed
his mother'- Mamma mia!

He'll kill your husband for 100'000
lire' But it will be worth it'

Because a professional man knows
his job, he'll do the right thing'

- They're taking me to the morgue!
- Thankyou!

That's not much money'
You hear what she's offering?

- You don'tunderstand me!
- We are not running a charity'

- My name is Pugile'- She wants to
hire us to getrid of her husband'

- We have to be paid'
- I'll pay you'- That's too bad'

We have a lotofoperators'
ltcosts a lotto murdersomeone'

- Make a better offer'
- For that money, there's nobody'

- I'll give you all the money
I have'- How much is that again?

Same thing' 75'

75'000 lire'You've got to admit,
it's better than nothing'

- It's business, signora' I can't
work that way'- There is no more!

Doesn't do any good to get upset'
Let's talk more'

I told you the amount
and that's it'

That's notenough money!
Look at my staff!

Why do you need an army?
You can do it yourself!

No, I can't! They're partof
my staff, they've got to be here'

I'll explain to you' Our number
one man will bring us the victim'

Then he is joined by number two'

Number three acts as lookout'

- And who'sthis? - He's
my brother-in-law, he lost his job'

- I promised I'd find him work'
- Times are hard'

I'm paying for the whole gang!

If we do this job right,
it'll look natural'

That's why you hire professionals,
we make it look accidental'

We pick the right location'

You'll make a very prett ywidow,
just give us the money'

Afterwards you'll sue the city
and get your money back'

- It's 10'000 lire on account'
- I said all the money'- Take it!

You should jump with happiness,
I've giving you somework!

We don't like troublemakers
and we don't kill for nothing'

Do you understand me?

Stop playing games!
Where's the rest of the money?

You think that I'd be that stupid
to give you all the money now?

I know how to do these things'

You'll take that money as a deposit
andthe rest when the job is done'

Think it over! They want the money
now"' They think I'm an idiot!

- What do you think?
- Tell her we'll be here'

Alright' This evening you meetus
here, bring the rest of the money'

Something has happened, I feel it'
He's never this late'

Enough with your husband!

He might have fallen into the
ditch, he's drunk! Mamma mia!

- You'll feel better tomorrow'
- Tomorrow? What if he's dead?

The devil looks after his own'

I'm so upset' The things
I imagine"' It's so hot!

I might as well wait at home'
I can't go on sitting here'

- I've got to go out and look for
him, to find him! - Poor thing!

- Giovanna, where arevyou going?
- I'm busy'- Letvme comevwith you'

I said I'm busy, don't bother me!

We've been waiting for you'
The job is done, it's all over'

That's right, all over'

- Mamma mia, I'm a widow"'
- Give me the money'-Alright'

- How do I know you're not lying?
- Come over here, look at the body'

- Hurry up, we haveto get away'
- Is he there? Under the car?

Tell me that it's only a joke!
Give me back the money!

We don't play jokes! You'd better
get out of here! Bring them over!

- No money"' Gone!
- Let's go'- No money"'

Your eyes are sad"'
but what's the use of crying?

Freedom is a thing
that's not for buying'

Remember, you're a woman,

and men, they are only human!

Here is your chance
and now is the time for trying'

Don't wait around"'

to back old sorrow'

Don't wait around"'

there's no tomorrow'

Don't wait around"'

I might as well admit it to myself'
It's hopeless!

- There's my fur coat, but it's
not worth much'- More prosciutto?

- Do I want prosciutto'- Hey!
- Prosciutto? - Nothing!

Don't suffer like that'You know
I love you' Do you love me?

I might, you know?
But still, I'm not sure'

Because, don'tforget,
I'm a married woman'

And I want you to respect me'

Only, when you're near"'

But it's not just
physical pleasure I want'

I need more, is that unusual?
I want to be loved by someone'

- Don't you believe me? -Why
do you keep worrying about it?

"Don't worry about it"'
Easy to say!

You tell me you love me
and want us to stick together"'

if you really mean that,
help me and prove it!

I'll prove it to you, but
you prove something to me first'

Don't you want to show me
how much you love me?

You want me?

- I want you'-You promise
you won'tcheat on me later?

You don't think I'm responsible'

Listen, I'm not against discussion'

Upstairs there's a nice quiet room
where we can talk it over' Eh?

I can see that you're not in the
right mood'You might be later'

Notin the right mood?
Two years, Righetto"' Can't wait!

- Two years"' Two years
I've waited'-We'll be upstairs'

- Your bill! - I'll take care of
it later'-Which way? - Out here'

It's late!
Are you sure you know what to do?

I'll go meet him after work'
Ok? We'll meet you at the ditch'

- You'll bewaiting for me there'
- I'll go alone, it's better'

Why not stay here? You can meet me
atthe bar after the accident'

No, I've gotto bring him
to the exact spot,

or it won't look like an accident'

You push him in where I say
and it'll look natural'

You know whatyou should do?

You'll be in the bushes

and when you see him,
push him into the ditch'

You told me the same thing three
times already' I know what to do'

He can't swim, you're sure?

It'd be stupid to push him
into the water, if he could swim!

My husband can't do anything' Go to
sleep, I'll explain it again later'

That's a good play'

What do I have?

Cut off that music!
Can'tyou seewe gota game here?

He's my cousin and I want to hear
him play music, if you don'tmind'

- Go on playing'-Who are you?
- What's the difference?

I got out of jail today, after six
years' The judge made a mistake'

Had he gotten the three, he would
have won 'Want anything to drink?

Something happened
down at the ditch!

- Excuse me' Let me have a brandy'
- What's the matter?

Nothing that brandy can cure'

- I don't like people who stare'
- So what are you looking at?

- Who is he? - He's just
out of jail, let him be'- I see'

- Jail"'-You got any brandy?
It's urgent'-What the hell"'

- Hey, your drink! - Oh, damn!
- Fine'- How did it happen?

Someone pushed me in the dark and
next thing I know I'm in the ditch'

- Who do you think he was?
- I couldn't see, it was dark'

Couldn't see"'

Hey, buddy, better drink something'

- What's her name?
- Giovanna'

Giovanna' I'll remember it'

Never mind that"'
You know it's up to you now'

No guy can make a killing,

after too much fulfilling'

Find someone else
and start your life a new now'

Don't wait around"'

'cause here you are'

Don't wait around"'

love isn't far'

Don't wait around"'

reach for your star'

"Under the guise of confessing
and purifying her conscience,

an infatuated woman induces
a holy brother

to unwittingly provide the means
to satisfy her longings"'

"Ecumenical Council"'
Where do we go?

Monsignor Filippo Arcudi,

head ofthe diocese
of the Caracciolini Fathers,

arrived in Rome to attend the third
session of the Ecumenical Council

on a Friday morning, at 10:42 a'm"

His rank entitled him
to the services of a secretary'

So he had brought
his nephew Vincenzo along'

Vincenzo had been
in his service for years,

but this was
his first visit to the big city'

Vincenzo!

Let's go!

- What about my room?
- I'mtrying to find out'

Operator, please telephone the Foro
Romano' It's a splendid hotel'

- Yes, yes'- The personnel is all
male, including the telephone girl'

This is don Carlini speaking'
Is my reservation still reserved?

Absolutely hopeless 'What?
One monsignore coming by taxi?

- I have one room, absolutely'
- See? Go ahead, take a taxi'

- Taxi!
- Ok'

- Why do you wear that dress?
- Don't you like it?

- You can't go around in that'- I
can't do more than wear mourning'

- You told me to dye it black, so
it shrank a bit'- It surely did'

That monsignore in 209 wants
a leather hassock in his room'

He saw one in monsignor Palletta's'

- Hello? - I wouldn't give in
on the hassocks'

If you do, then you'll need 100'

- How many? -A monsignore and his
secretary' I don't have any rooms'

Put them in yours' Then you can
sleep with your wife again'

You're my wife, after all' Pull
down your skirt, it's indecent'

My dear, what's the difference?

They made me discharge
all the maids and get men instead'

- Now what do you want me to do?
- It's not a hotel any more'

- It's a cloister'- Excuse me?
- Yes? - Do you have a moment?

Yes' Stay behind there' One day
the Ecumenical Council will finish'

And will you last this one out?
The last took 35 years'

"Portiere"!

Vincenzo?

There's a double room reserved
in my name, here's the reservation'

I trust
there's no difficulty about it'

Young lady, I'm talking to you,
can't you see that?

- Yes, I can see that'
- Then tell me what I asked'

Is there a difficulty
about the reservation I have?

- Tell me, signora' Talkto me!
- Oh, no, no, no, monsignore'

There's no difficulty now'
We expected you'

And when you expect a person"'

can't let that person
go somewhere else'

Fine, fine, give us the room'
What are we waiting for now?

303'

- Thank you'- Thank you'
- 304, thank you'- Thankyou'

- I'll take the other one'
- Thanks'

Just a moment! Excuse me'

- You're Franciscans, aren't you?
- Yes'-Yes'-Yes, Franciscans'

- Then you took a vow of poverty'
- Yes, and of modesty'- Fine'

Saint Francis said that we must
give all we possess to the poor'

- It's marvelous'- No brother has
2 tunics'- Or 2 pairs ofsandals'

- Not a beret either'
- Nothing at all'- Nothing'

Then three rooms for six
is a luxury, almost a sin'

Think of poor Saint Francis
of Assisi'Am I right?

It's all fixed'
Everything is ready, monsignore'

- Ready'
- Vincenzo?

- Furio, monsignore and his
secretary in 303'- Let's go'

- Brother Saverio will be with us'
- You'll take brother Domenico'

- Don't forget to set the alarm!
- Oh, no'

The first call is at midnight,
the second at2:00'

- Call me at6:00! -And me
at 8:00! -With coffee and cake'

- My cloak'
- Yes'

- Good morning'
- Morning'

Thank you'

- These are yours'
- Thank you'

All of it
due to the dogmatic tenacity"'

"Dogmatic" is spelt like "stigma":
G-M-A' It's the same thing'

Besides, I must now advise you
of the importance"'

Wait a minute'
Hello? What good news?

Is this room you got for him next
to mine? Is it fourth floor?

Better than nothing,
I'm grateful'

Monsignore,
the pleasure is all ours'

You'll be moved to 412,
on the fourth floor'

- I'll help you'- Come on,
brothers, it's right down here'

Would Saint Francis like this?

Upyou go!

- Put this on this side! -We're
dismantling the whole hotel'

Isn't someone going to help?

He must be blind!

I'll show him now!

Stop it!
Silence, now!

Silence! Stop the noise!

Excuse me, monsignore'

Monsignore?

Now, Vincenzo"'

You deliver this letter personally
and wait for the answer'

And if you have ten more minutes,
walk around the rectory'

The foot stool!

- Excuse me, I'm sorry!
- It hurts! The blanket!

Give itto me'
Go ahead, now'

- What are you waiting for?
- A little money for the taxi fare'

Cabs at your age?! Walk, my boy,
walk! It's very good for you!

- Put out that sign,
"Do not disturb"'-Yes, uncle'

- Please, may I come in?
- No, there's a sign on the door'

Yes, I know it's there,
and it's much better that way'

- So no one will disturb us'-What
do you want? - Monsignore"'

I don't know what to do'
There's a problem I can't solve'

ltried everything, but"'
I don't know where to turn'

I understand, you wantto make
a confession' Justa minute'

Oh, no,
I didn't come here to confess'

Well, tell me what it is'

You see, you"'
only you can help me, Father'

lf I mentioned it to my husband,
it would be terrible!

- And I can't face the other man'
- I'll get my stole'

But my conscience is clear'

You just said there's another man'
Whatkind of a man is he?

It's your nephew, monsignore'

- My nephew? Vincenzo? -Yes'
- What has Vincenzo done to you?

- He molests, he persecutes me'
- Persecutes you? Vincenzo?!

With his eyes, up to now'

Since you arrived, he has never
taken his eyes off my body'

No, he's just a boy, Vincenzo!

No, my dear, don't be silly!
This is just your imagination!

Imagination, monsignore?

He undresses me in his mind'
He goes around stripping me'

Sorry, but I had to explain toyou'

It's obscene, he winks at me,
he's fresher each day' That pig!

Sometimes I start going up
a staircase, I look down and"'

It's fortune
you decided to tell me!

It's the absolute truth'
And there's more'

The room clerk is on his side now'
I'm sure he's paid the man a bribe'

Impossible!

He has fixed things so as
to have the room next to mine'

Now I can only take my clothes off
in the dark'

- Because he made three holes
in my door! - Three? - Three!

I stop them up, he unplugs them"'
I stop them up, he unplugs them"'

You stop them up
and he unplugs them!

Monsignore,
you must do something about this'

I've done everything I know
to make him understand,

but he doesn't want to'

- You must talk to him'
- Yes'- He must let me alone'

He must not take advantage of the
fact that my husband is very busy'

It's impossible' I can't believe
it, because I know him so well'

After all I brought the boy up"'
and I'm his confessor!

My dear, he's 22, and despite
his 17 months of military service,

he doesn't"'
I mean, he doesn't"'

he doesn't know anything
about women'

- I see'-Vincenzo wants
to be pure when he gets married'

Monsignore, he changed his mind!

Firs the changed his room"'
He'll be punished'

No, no, I didn't ask you that'
I'll stick more plugs in'

Please talk to the boy about it'
You just tell him all that I said'

And I'm sure he will understand
what he has to do, Father'

And if he doesn't,
he's really an idiot'

Come in, uncle' I delivered the
letter' Anything I can do foryou?

I came downstairs earlier, but
I saw the "Do not disturb" sign'

That's the bathroom'

I find this satisfactory'
It's small, but comfortable'

The man there is very nervous'

- I think he's a priest from
the Sistine Chapel'-A priest?

- From the Sistine Chapel, huh?
- Why are you hitting me?

Tonight you'll go back to my room'

Come in'

I had to shave myself,
you're late! I've got a meeting"'

- Oh, it's you! -Yes'-What's
the matter? Vincenzo again?

- Yes'-What's he done to you
now? Looked or worse? -Worse'

- Worse than that? -Worse'
- What did he do?

- Did he suggest anything?
- Much worse! - My God!

I must do something'

- I didn't do anything'-You
didn't do anything? - No'

You're going to burn in hell,
you sinner! You'd better confess!

- Last night you tried to break
into her bedroom? - No'-Yes!

- You knew her husband
sleeps on the floor below'- No!

You stay here! Vincenzo, confess
or I'll have to break your head!

She's lying! Don't you trustme?

Why should this woman make up
this fantasy? Explain to me!

You say it's not true, right? Then
why should she do such a thing?

Try to explain to me, if you can'
Why? Why?

- Tell me why! - It'sjust
because"'- Just because"'?

Vincenzo, the first time
I believed you, but now I don't'

But for the moment I'm going to
forget about it' To err is human'

But listen, Vincenzo"'
if that woman comes again to me

and complains about
the slightest thing you do"'

I'll killyou, I'll
excommunicate you, I'll fire you,

and I'll send you back home!

Understand?

Understand?
Understand?

I was stupid'
I understand'

It's all plain'

- Aren't you going to finish
your steak? - I'm finished'

My son, at your age you must eat!
You need all your strength'

Uncle, I've gotto go'
Excuse me'

Can't you wait until I finish
this little piece of bread?

How can I find my sister's letter
in all this mess?

- What? What letter?
- Wait'-Ah, that one you want'

- My sister-in-law's? - No,
your grandmother's! Where is it?

- Please! -Who's there?
- Nothing"'- Can I talk to you?

- One of those crazy friends"'
- Listen"'just for a moment'

Signora, I must talk to you'

Is this the time
to look for that letter?!

Hello' I want to speak
to monsignore Arcudi'

Hello' Did I wake you?

Is it you? Vincenzo, I was so
worried about you' What happened?

- Will you come and get me?
I got lost'-You stupid donkey!

Please, come, because I'm lost!
Hello?

- I'm a sick man, I beg you to have
mercy'-Are you in the hospital?

- I'm not there' Crazy"'-What's
that? - I've gone crazy'- Crazy?

I don't mean
like an idiot or a fool'

- I'm a maniac,
but it's sexual, uncle'- Sexual?

- I misled that poor girl, so meek,
so pure'-You mean, Beatrice?

Yes, her' Let me stay in your room
tonight, uncle' I mustn't be alone'

- Hello? You must"'
- Alright, I understand'

- Would you come and get me here?
- Yes, butwhere areyou?

I need the name of the street'

I'm not sure what it's called'
Hold on!

I'll ask someone, just a minute'

- Excuse me, where are we?
- Via Veneto'

Goodnight'

Monsignore, I must speak to you,
it's important'

- About"'
- Alone, in private'

Getin there! Wait for me
and don't move! Don't you move!

Get upstairs! You're disgusting!

I'll kill you! Do you hearme?
I'll kill you!

- Shame on you! - How could I have
done it, I was with you! - Drugs!

You gave me those sleeping pills,
with my weak heart, too!

Vincenzo?

Vincenzo? Vincenzo!

Vincenzo, open the door and
come out so that I can kill you'

Come out and I'll kill you first,
before her husband gets here!

Her husband was in the room with
her when you tried to attack her'

- Was there her husband?
- Yes'

Vincenzo! Vincenzo!

- Come outside! Come outnow!
Are you coming? - No'

Alright 'You'll have to come out
sometime and I'll be here'

I don't move from this place,
you hypocrite!

You hypocrite!
Hypocrite, little Judas'

I brought him up, and all he does
is betray my teachings'

He confessed his purity to me,
while behind my back,

he was plotting to pursue her
to Grotta Ferrata and capture her!

He followed her!

She goes to see her mother-in-law
in her house in Grotta Ferrata'

Sadist! That poor girl
is searching for safety and peace'

She can't find it'W here
can she go? America? China?

No more' Murderme, if you like,
but let's get this straight'

I'm innocent,
now I'm goingto prove it to you'

You're hurting my mouth, uncle'
Can we talk this over calmly?

What is this Grotta Ferrata?
A cave ora place?

- A place! - I'm ignorant' How am
I supposed to have gotten there?

How? Very simple,
in a street car, a tram!

- What number?
- 42!

That's all?

And how am I supposed
to have paid my fare?

You stole it from me, after
you gave me the sleeping pills'

After I arrived there, how did I
get to find the house she was at?

- There mustbe morethan one!
- There is, sure!

But only one has
her husband's name on, Carlone!

How did I get in the house?

You climbed over the fence,
like a criminal'

- Found yourself a ladder and
climbed up'- Putthatbottle down'

No! Don't hit me again!
No, uncle!

And if that poorgirl
had locked herself in the room,

so you couldn't get in,

who knows
what might have happened!

Stupid!

And so, atlong last, they found
great pleasure in one another'

And repeatedly pursued the roads
of satisfaction and delight'

Then the young woman be thought
herself of the olderman

who had helped her attain this
bliss without any idea of doing so'

So grateful was she to him,

that she decided to pay him in some
small measure for all he had done'

After a few weeks'thought,
she finally found the way'

- Good morning, monsignore!
- My daughter'

- I've planned a surprise'
- Surprise?

- I have a nice single room,
you can see St' Peter's"'- No"'

Our room is fine'
We see it from my room'

Please! I won't permit you to go
on sleeping in two like that'

- And to sacrifice yourself
because of me'-Well"'

- You think we can trust him?
- Absolutely'

- Yes, I think he's finally cured'
- Yes, finally he understood'

- Thanks to you, he understood'
- Yes'

And how am I supposed
to have paid my fare?

You stole it from me, after
you gave me the sleeping pills'

After I arrived there, how did I
get to find the house she was at?

- There must be more than one!
- There is, sure!