The Devil Is a Sissy (1936) - full transcript

[ GRAND MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ ROARING ]

[ WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ CLACKING ]

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]

Hilda:
WELL, DON'T GO SO FAST.

YOU'RE ACTING JUST LIKE
A LITTLE MADMAN.

OH, NO, MOTHER!
MAY I, PLEASE?

YES.

[ TAPS RHYTHMICALLY ]

I BET HE'LL REMEMBER.



Jay: OH, SON!

HELLO, DAD!

HEY!

HEY!

[ LAUGHS ] WHEE!

THE CAMELS
ARE COMING, DAD!

Both: ♪ THE CAMELS ARE COMING,
DA DA DA DA ♪

♪ THE CAMELS ARE COMING, DA DA ♪

♪ THE CAMELS ARE COMING,
DA DA DA DA ♪

♪ DA DEE DA DA DEE ♪

♪ THE CAMELS
ARE COMING ♪

OH. [ CLEARS THROAT ]
HI, HILDA.

HELLO, JAY.
WELL, WE'VE COME, AS PROMISED.

WELL, YOU'VE
SORT OF GROWN UP



IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS,
HAVEN'T YOU, HEY?

WHAT'S HIS HEIGHT
AND WEIGHT NOW?

OH, REALLY,
I DON'T KNOW.

I IMAGINE DR. GEROMA HAS THE
ONLY RECORD THAT'S BEING KEPT.

I KNOW.
3'10 AND 5 STONE.

THERE WAS A GADGET
ON BOARD SHIP.

3'10 AND 5 STONE, EH?

[ GRUNTS ]

LISTEN, SON, PEOPLE OVER HERE
SAY "70 POUNDS"

INSTEAD OF "5 STONE,"
YOU KNOW?

OH, YES, OF COURSE.

MM-HMM.

WHY THE SUDDEN
MAKING OVER, JAY?

AFTER ALL,
HIS FATHER IS ENGLISH.

WELL, YOUR MOTHER MAKES
A HOP AMERICAN, DOESN'T SHE?

NOW THAT I'VE DECIDED TO STAY
OVER HERE, WELL, THERE'S --

OOH, YES, AND THAT'S
JUST THE TROUBLE,

AND IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,

WHY, HE WON'T HAVE ANYONE
TO PLAY WITH BUT THE --

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.
LISTEN, SON.

EXCUSE YOUR MOTHER AND ME
A MINUTE, WILL YOU?

YEAH. HERE'S YOUR ROOM.
YOU CAN UNPACK YOUR THINGS.

THERE'S AN AFRICAN
HUNTING BOOK THERE WITH
A LOT OF PICTURES IN IT.

OH, SPLENDID!

THESE ARE JOLLY DIGGINGS
YOU HAVE HERE, DAD.

HA HA!

WELL, HIS LUGGAGE
ARRIVED THIS MORNING.

THANKS FOR SENDING IT.

WELL, I'M SURE THERE ARE
A GREAT MANY THINGS

HE'LL HAVE
NO USE FOR HERE.

YOU'RE LOOKING
UNUSUALLY WELL.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH
YOURSELF, OPEN A HOUSE UPTOWN?

NO.

OH, AND HERE ARE THE KEYS,
IN CASE HE WANTS ANYTHING.

NOW, I'M GOING TO FLY
FOR THE SEASON,

AND THEN LONDON
IN THE SPRING.

LONDON IN THE SPRING, EH?

OH-OH, THAT SEEMS A LONG TIME
AGO, DOESN'T IT, HILDA?

YES. AND I BELIEVE I WAS
IN LOVE WITH YOU THEN.

YOU NEVER REALLY LIKED ME,
DID YOU?

LIKED YOU? I SAID
I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU.

OH, YES, YES,
BUT I MEAN "LIKE."

DON'T YOU SEE, MY DEAR,

YOU CAME TO ENGLAND,
MET A DOWN-TO-HEEL ARCHITECT

WHO WAS TRYING TO BUILD
CHRISTOPHER WREN STEEPLES

IN A SKYSCRAPER WORLD.

ALL VERY QUAINT AND ROMANTIC
TO YOU, HUH?

YOU NEVER REALLY SAW
MY POINT OF VIEW, YOU KNOW.

OH, WE'VE BEEN
OVER ALL THIS BEFORE, JAY.

WE HAD EVERYTHING
TWO PEOPLE COULD WANT.

WE HAD MONEY, POSITION,
FRIENDS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

YES, YOUR MONEY, YOUR POSITION,
AND YOUR FRIENDS,

BUT NO TIME TO DO MY WORK.

YES, AND BECAUSE
YOU'RE AN IMPRACTICAL DREAMER

AND BECAUSE I WAS FOOLISH ENOUGH
TO ALLOW THE COURT

TO GIVE CLAUDE TO YOU FOR
SIX MONTHS OUT OF EVERY YEAR,

YOU'RE GOING TO DEPRIVE HIM
OF EVERYTHING MY MONEY CAN GIVE.

OH, NO, NO, NOT DEPRIVE.

LET'S SAY, UH, BALANCE,
COUNTERACT, HMM?

OH, DO YOU WANT
TO COUNTERACT BRILLIANCE

AND CULTURE
AND REFINEMENT?

OH, NO, JAY.
YOU'RE JUST SELFISH. THAT'S ALL.

WHY, HIS FRENCH IS FLAWLESS.

HE COULD HAVE GONE TO SCHOOL
IN PARIS THIS YEAR,

AND IT'S JUST WHAT HE NEEDS
AFTER ENGLAND.

WELL, THERE'S AN EXCELLENT
PUBLIC SCHOOL, NUMBER 298,

JUST SIX BLOCKS
UP THE ROAD.

A PUBLIC SCHOOL
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

HILDA, THE CHARACTER
OF A HUMAN BEING

IS LIKE A PIECE
OF ARCHITECTURE --

JUST THE ART
OF BUILDING WISELY.

HERE.
LOOK AT THAT SKYLINE.

THAT'S THE ARCHITECTURE OF THE
NEWEST GREAT NATION ON EARTH.

EVERYTHING THAT'S COMING,
EVERYTHING THAT'S SPLENDID,

IS HERE, ALL AROUND,
JUST OUTSIDE THESE WINDOWS.

WELL, ALL I SEE
IS SQUALOR AND DIRT...

AND UNPLEASANTLY THWARTED
PEOPLE.

OH, NOW, HILDA, LET'S FACE IT.
THE WORLD'S CHANGING.

NOTHING THAT YOU
OR I CAN GIVE CLAUDE

WILL EQUIP HIM
FOR THAT CHANGE.

AND HE CERTAINLY
WON'T FIND IT

TRAILING YOUR APRON
STRINGS TO PARIS AND
BIARRITZ AND PALM BEACH

OR IN A LITTLE MALE CONVENT
IN SWITZERLAND.

THE NEXT GENERATION'S
FINDING ITSELF OUT THERE,

DOWN ON THE STREET.

AND WHAT'S DOWN THERE
ON THE STREET?

WELL, WHATEVER
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

FOR A MUSICIAN, A SYMPHONY.
FOR A POET, AN EPIC POEM.

FOR A LEADER,
TOLERANCE, UNDERSTANDING.

MM.
AND FOR A GENTLEMAN?

OH, NOW,
MUST HE BE A GENTLEMAN?

[ SIRENS WAILING ]

DADDY! DADDY! DAD!

THERE'S A FIRE
DOWN THE STREET

WITH LOTS OF TRUCKS
AND EXCITEMENT!

OH, SO SORRY!

LOOK! THEY'RE PUTTING UP
THE LADDERS NOW!

AND HERE COMES ANOTHER TRUCK!

LOOK, DADDY!
THERE'S THE CHIEF!

MOTHER, I'VE DEFINITELY
MADE UP MY MIND

TO BE A FIREMAN
WHEN I GROW UP.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ BELL CLANGING,
CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]

[ UP-TEMPO PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

RUBBLE.

PRESENT.

ROBERTS.

PRESENT.

ROCKY.

ROCKY.

PRESENT.

RABINOWITZ.

[ BLOWING NOSE ]
PRESENT.

RYAN.

PRESENT.

CICHOWSKI.

PRESENT.

SAMUELS.

PRESENT.

SCHNEIDER.

PRESENT.

MISS NORVILLE, THIS IS
A NEW PUPIL, CLAUDE PIERCE.

HOW DO YOU DO, CLAUDE?

HOW DO YOU DO?

YOU'LL FIND HIM
UP TO THE CLASS.

YES, SIR.

GOOD MORNING, BOYS.

All: GOOD MORNING,
MR. CRUSENBERRY.

I'LL FIND A SEAT FOR YOU
IN A MOMENT.

STEVENS.

STEVENS.

"GIG" AIN'T COMING TODAY.

GIG "ISN'T."
WHAT'S HIS EXCUSE THIS TIME?

IT'S HIS OLD MAN.

BUT HIS FATHER'S
IN THE PENITENTIARY.

THEY'RE GONNA
ELECTROCUTE HIM TONIGHT.

YOU MAY SIT OVER THERE
FOR THE TIME BEING, CLAUDE.

THANK YOU.

SIMMONS.

PRESENT.

SIMON.

PRESENT.

SOBUL.

PRESENT.

[ GASPS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

YES, CLAUDE?

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ LAUGHTER STOPS ]

I'M SORRY I'M LATE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, GIG.

YOU'LL HAVE TO
SHARE YOUR SEAT

WITH CLAUDE PIERCE,
THE NEW BOY, FOR TODAY.

TAYLOR.

HERE.

TOWSY.

HERE.

YOU DIDN'T NEED
TO SHOW UP HERE TODAY.

I HAD IT ALL FIXED FOR YOU.

I GOT LONESOME.

IF YOU NEED AN EXTRA PENCIL,
I HAVE SEVERAL OF THEM HERE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ BELL DINGING ]

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]

HOW DO YOU DO?

IT'S A BIT DIRTY,
DON'T YOU THINK?

EH, IT'S THE SAME WATER
YOU DRINK, AIN'T IT?

CLEAN ENOUGH TO WADE IN
IF IT'S CLEAN ENOUGH TO DRINK.

BUT I DON'T DRINK IT.

THEN WHAT KIND OF WATER
DO YOU DRINK?

SPRING WATER.

AND WHERE DOES THIS
COME FROM?

FROM THE CATSKILLS,
OF COURSE.

OH, A WISE GUY.

HEY, GIG, A WISE GUY.

WHAT TIME IS IT, BUCK?

DON'T DO YOU NO GOOD
TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

I WON'T ASK YOU NO MORE
AFTER TONIGHT.

WHY ARE THEY GOING TO ELECTRIFY
HIS FATHER TONIGHT?

HE KILLED JOE SULLIVAN
AND THE CONNORS BROTHERS

IN A GANG FIGHT.

RED STEVENS IS ONE OF THE
TOUGHEST GUYS AROUND HERE.

BUT HE DIDN'T
HAVE AN ALIBI.

OH, HE HAD AN ALIBI,
ALL RIGHT.

THE GUY WITH HIM
SHOT HIS FACE OFF.

DID WHAT?

SQUEALED, YOU DOPE.

OH, AND THEN
WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, THEY'RE GONNA GIVE IT
TO THE SQUEALER FIRST.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

REMIND ME, WILL YOU,
TO BASH YOUR HEAD

AGAINST THE WALL
NEXT TIME I SEE YOU?

COME ON.

WITH A HI-HO
AND A CHEERIO!

OH!

HELLO, DAD!

WELL, BACK SO SOON?
HOW DID SCHOOL GO?

SPLENDIDLY.

GOOD. MAKE ANY FRIENDS?

WELL, IT'S A LITTLE TOO SOON
TO CALL THEM FRIENDS.

SOME OF THE BOYS PAID A GREAT
DEAL OF ATTENTION TO ME.

I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT FIND IT
HARD GOING FOR A FEW DAYS.

WELL, THEY ARE A LITTLE BIT
DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND,

BUT I'LL BE ALL RIGHT
AS SOON AS I GET ACCLIMATED.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, DAD?

HERE. [ CHUCKLES ]
TAKE YOUR COAT OFF.

I WANT
TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

HERE YOU ARE.
LOOK AT THAT.

"K-I..."

OH, I SEE.
THAT IS A TRICK!

[ CHUCKLES ]
OH, YOU MUSTN'T MIND THAT.

THAT'S JUST THE AMERICAN
SENSE OF HUMOR.

OOH! YES, SIR.
DON'T BRUSH TOO HARD.

OH, SORRY. CHEER UP. EVERYTHING
IS GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, HMM?

YES, I'M SURE OF IT, DAD.

OF COURSE,
THE BOYS WERE UPSET TODAY.

ONE OF THEIR FATHERS
IS GOING TO BE ELECTRIFIED

UP THE RIVER TONIGHT.

ELECTRIFIED UP THE RIVER?

YES, IT'S WHAT
THEY DO TO YOU

WHEN YOU'VE SHOT SOMEONE IN
A GANG WAR WITHOUT AN ALIBI.

IT'S GIG STEVENS' FATHER.

OH, I SEE.

IS GIG STEVENS ONE OF THE BOYS
YOU LIKE?

OH, YES, SIR,
HE'S REALLY A NICE CHAP --

CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM
AND ALL THAT.

YOU'D LIKE HIM, I'M SURE.

I'M SURE I WOULD.

YES.

YOU KNOW,
I THINK I LIKE THEM

A GREAT DEAL BETTER
THAN THEY LIKE ME.

OH, NONSENSE.
THEY'LL COME AROUND.

I HOPE SO.

I THINK I WANT THAT MORE THAN
ANYTHING ELSE I EVER WANTED.

YOU'LL GET IT.
NOW, ABOUT FOOTBALL.

YOU WERE GOING PRETTY WELL
IN ENGLAND, I HEAR.

WELL, THIS AMERICAN GAME
IS ALTOGETHER DIFFERENT.

EVEN THE BALL IS DIFFERENT.

I'D HAVE TO GET ONE
AND PLAY WITH IT

BEFORE I'D BE ANY GOOD
OVER HERE.

UH-HUH.

YOU SEE, THE AMERICAN
INTERCOLLEGIATE FOOTBALL

IS, UH --
IS MUCH MORE POINTED.

MORE --
IT'S MORE POINTED, YES.

Man: THE INTERCOLLEGIATE BALL
IS A LITTLE TOUGH TO HANDLE

FOR GRAMMAR-SCHOOL TEAMS.

NOW, THIS IS THE SORT
OF A BALL THEY USE.

NEVERTHELESS, I IMAGINE
THERE'S MORE JUVENILE PRESTIGE

ATTACHED TO THE OWNERSHIP
OF A REGULATION BALL,

DON'T YOU THINK?

[ CHUCKLES ] I --
WELL, YOU GOT ME THERE, PAL.

WHAT I MEAN IS, I THINK
I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.

MIGHT WANT TO PLAY WITH IT
MYSELF, SEE?

I, UH -- OKAY, PAL.
THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT.

SHALL I WRAP IT UP
FOR A GIFT?

NO, THANKS. NO.

I THINK I'LL PRACTICE WITH IT
ON THE WAY HOME, MM-HMM.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

[ WHISTLING ]

[ GRUNTS ]

OH, WELL PLAYED!

WELL, AREN'T YOU A LITTLE BIT
OLD TO BE ON THE TEAM?

OH, I'M ONLY THE COACH.

MY STAR HALFBACK'S
DOING HIS HOMEWORK.

OH, WELL, IF HE REALLY IS,
THEN YOU'RE REALLY A GOOD COACH.

YES, I HOPE TO BE.

WELL, GOODBYE.

OH.

OH, THANKS.

HELLO, AUNT ROSE.

HELLO, GIG.

MOM'S IN THE KITCHEN.

THANKS.

JENNIE, IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO FOR YOU?

NO, THERE'S NOTHING
YOU CAN DO.

JENNIE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK
OF ME, I AM YOUR SISTER.

YEAH, AND HE'S MY HUSBAND.

HE DID THE KIND OF STEALING
THAT LANDS A PERSON IN JAIL,

NOT THE KIND THAT LANDS THEM
ON PARK AVENUE.

TONIGHT, THEY'RE --
THEY'RE GONNA KILL HIM

FOR BEING A MURDERER
AND A THIEF.

BUT I'D TAKE HIM
OVER YOU, ROSE!

YES, I WOULD!

JENNIE, PLEASE.

I AM YOUR SISTER.
I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU.

YEAH, AND I DON'T --
I DON'T WANT ANY HELP.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT GIG?
I'M THINKING OF HIM, TOO.

GIG?

WE'LL GET ALONG SOMEHOW.

AND AS LONG
AS I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY,

HE WON'T TOUCH A PENNY
OF YOUR MONEY.

WELL, JENNIE,
IF YOU DO CHANGE YOUR MIND...

I'LL NEVER
CHANGE MY MIND.

BUT...

[ CRYING ]

HELLO.

WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?

YOU'VE SEEN CARS LIKE THAT
BEFORE.

I WASN'T LOOKING
AT THE CAR.

IT WAS GIG'S AUNT ROSE.
SHE'S BAWLING.

A LOT SHE'S GOT
TO BAWL ABOUT.

GENERAL PERSHING
DIDN'T RAID A BUS LIKE THAT,

AND WE FOUGHT TO MAKE THE WORLD
SAFE FOR THEM PLUTOCRATS.

OHH.

COME ON! FRONT AND CENTER!

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

I'LL ANSWER IT.

WHAT TIME IS IT, GIG?

10 MINUTES TO, MOM.

WHAT DID HE SAY, FATHER?

THERE'S NO USE.

HE DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING, THEN?

YES -- HE SAID, "FATHER...

"IN A COUPLE OF HOURS,

I'LL KNOW FOR SURE
WHAT YOU'RE GUESSING."

WAS THAT ALL?

HE SAID HE LOVED YOU.

[ CRYING ]

ZERO HOUR. BOY, HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE I STOOD IN THE MUD

AT ZERO WITH RED STEVENS?

DO YOU KNOW
WHAT HE USED TO DO, JEN?

HE USED TO TAKE YOUR PICTURE OUT
AND LOOK AT IT.

KEPT IT IN HIS CIGARETTE CASE
IN A POCKET OVER HIS HEART.

THEN HE USED TO PULL
ON HIS BELT AND SAY,
"COME ON, MURPH. LET'S GO.

I'M GONNA BE
A HARD GUY TO KILL."

QUIET.
QUIET, PLEASE, MURPHY.

COME ON, GIG.
LET'S GO DOWNSTAIRS.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, THE OLD MAN
MEANS ALL RIGHT.

[ BELL TOLLING ]

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

[ JENNIE SCREAMS ]

[ TOLLING CONTINUES ]

[ GASPING ]

COME ON! SNAP OUT OF IT!
COME ON!

[ BREATHING RAGGEDLY ]

COME ON.

[ TOLLING CONTINUES ]

COME ON.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S GETTING KIND OF COLD
OUT HERE.

I THINK I'LL --
I'LL GO TO BED.

YEAH. ME TOO.

TELL THE FOLKS I WENT HOME,
WILL YOU?

SO LONG.

SEE YOU IN SCHOOL.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

Mrs. Murphy:
GOOD NIGHT, GIG.

GOOD NIGHT.

Mr. Murphy: GOOD NIGHT, SON.

Jennie: [ CRYING ]

OHH. OHH.

OH, JIM.

JIM.

OHH.

[ CRYING ]

MOM.

[ SNIFFLES ]

MOM.

MOM.

MOM.
DON'T CRY ANYMORE.

MOM, HE'D -- HE'D LAUGH
IF HE SAW YOU CRYING LIKE THIS.

[ Voice breaking ]
MOM, DON'T CRY ANYMORE.

MOM.

MOM.

[ SNORING ]

I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I'M WRONG.

DADDY.

DADDY! DADDY!

YES, SON? WHAT IS IT?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I MUST HAVE BEEN DREAMING.

DID YOU GET TO READ THE PAPER
THIS MORNING?

NO, I DIDN'T. THE OLD MAN'S
ALWAYS TALKING TO HORSES.

Driver: HEY, SCRAM OUT OF THERE,
YOU KIDS!

[ GROANS ]

[ BELL DINGS ]

YOU DIDN'T READ
WHAT MY OLD MAN SAID, HUH?

NO, I DIDN'T.

THE SQUEALER GOT IT FIRST,
AND MY OLD MAN SAID,

"WIPE OFF THAT CHAIR. A RAT
JUST GOT THROUGH SITTING IN IT."

BOY, HE WAS PLENTY TOUGH,
YOU KNOW?

I'LL SAY HE WAS TOUGH. YOU KNOW
HOW LONG HE WAS IN THE CHAIR?

HOW LONG?

NINE MINUTES.

YOU KNOW HOW MANY JOLTS
IT TOOK TO FINISH HIM?

NO.

FOUR JOLTS
OF MORE THAN 2,000 VOLTS.

GOSH, THAT'S MORE ELECTRICITY
THAN IT TAKES

TO RUN THIS STREETCAR.

GOSH.

[ BELL DINGS ]

[ WHISTLES ]

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]

Mr. Crusenberry:
JUST A MINUTE, YOU THREE!

YOU THREE BOYS,
COME TO MY OFFICE!

RIGHT AWAY!

HEY, LIMEY, YOU DIDN'T SEE ME
THROW THAT FOOTBALL.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

I DIDN'T?

NO. YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO
TO SQUEALERS AROUND HERE?

MNH-MNH.

WE STUFF THEM IN A SACK
AND DROP THEM IN THE RIVER.

YOU DO?
THAT SEEMS RATHER DRASTIC.

Mr. Crusenberry: COME IN.

MURPHY, DID YOU THROW
THAT FOOTBALL?

I DON'T KNOW
WHO THREW IT.

STEVENS?

I DON'T KNOW.

PIERCE, THIS IS YOUR
FOOTBALL, ISN'T IT?

YES, SIR.

DID YOU THROW IT?

NO, SIR.

YOU KNOW
WHO THREW IT?

I REALLY CAN'T SAY, SIR.
I'M SORRY.

I CANNOT OVERLOOK

DELIBERATE LYING AND
CONNIVANCE TO A FALSEHOOD.

THEREFORE, THE THREE OF YOU
MUST STAND PUNISHMENT.

HAVE YOU
ANY ANSWER TO MAKE?

MURPHY.

STEVENS.

PIERCE, I AM SURPRISED...

AND, I MUST ADD,
A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED.

THIS IS ONLY YOUR FIRST WEEK
OF ENROLLMENT, AND ALREADY --

I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.

YES?

IT WAS I WHO THREW
THE FOOTBALL.

YOU DID?

YES, SIR. I SHOULD HAVE ADMITTED
IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

THAT'S ALL.
YOU'RE EXCUSED.

THANK YOU.

MURPHY! STEVENS!
I WANT A WORD WITH YOU.

UH, I-I DON'T SUPPOSE, SIR,

YOU'D WANT ME TO STAY
BY ANY CHANCE, WOULD YOU?

YOU MAY GO.

THANK YOU, SIR.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

NOW, WHO THREW
THAT FOOTBALL?

I DON'T KNOW.

STEVENS?

I DON'T KNOW.

[ DRAWER CLOSES ]

I'M NOT GOING TO PUNISH YOU
FOR BREAKING A PANE OF GLASS.

I AM GOING TO PUNISH YOU

FOR REFUSING STUBBORNLY AND
UNREASONABLY TO TELL THE TRUTH.

STEVENS.

[ RAPPING ]

YOU MAY GO.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

MURPHY.

PUT OUT YOUR HAND,
MURPHY!

OW! MR. CRUSENBERRY!
DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!
DON'T KILL ME!

Shh! Shh!

PLEASE!
MR. CRUSENBERRY, LET ME GO!

DON'T HIT ME! DON'T KILL ME!
PLEASE DON'T!

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR FELLOW
STUDENTS WILL THINK OF YOU,

MAKING A COWARDLY UPROAR
LIKE THAT?

ANSWER ME!

THEY'RE GONNA THINK
IT'S AWFUL FUNNY,

A BIG GUY LIKE YOU
HITTING A KID LIKE ME.

REPORT TO YOUR TEACHER
AND REMAIN AFTER SCHOOL

UNTIL YOU TELL THE TRUTH
ABOUT THAT FOOTBALL.

MM.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]

HI, BUCK.

HEY.

HE SURE KEPT YOU
LONG ENOUGH.

DID YOU SQUEAL?

I AIN'T SQUEALING,
EVEN ON MYSELF.

DID YOU GET IT?

COME ON. LET'S GO.

OH, HELLO, FELLOWS.
WANT TO PLAY PASS?

SO, YOU BROKE
THE WINDOW, HUH?

TRYING TO GO ON RECORD
AS A WISE GUY.

WELL, I KNOW YOU THINK --

LISTEN, MR. WISE GUY!

HAPPEN YOU'RE WALKING
DOWN THE SAME STREET AS
WE ARE ON THE SAME SIDE,

YOU'D BETTER GET
ON THE OTHER SIDE QUICK.

YOU'LL GET YOUR EARS
BOXED DOWN.

COME ON.

DON'T SLAP.
JAB LIKE THIS. ONE, TWO.

OH, I SEE, YES.

ONE, TWO.

THAT'S IT.
GET YOUR SHOULDER IN IT.

YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL
WITH A BUGGY WHIP.

ONE, TWO.
[ GRUNTING ]

THAT'S IT.

SAY, WHAT MADE YOU WANT
TO LEARN TO BOX ANYWAY?

WELL, THERE'S A COUPLE
OF FELLOWS I'M AFRAID
I'LL HAVE TO LICK.

OH, STREET FIGHTING, HUH?
THAT'S DIFFERENT.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET
IN THERE AND START SWINGING.

YOU MAY HAVE TO TAKE
A COUPLE TO GET IN THERE,

BUT ONCE YOU'RE IN THERE,
THE REST IS EASY.

COME ON. TRY IT NOW.

THAT'S IT.

DO YOU THINK
I'LL LEARN IT ALL RIGHT?

WHY, SURE.

THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO GET
SOMETHING TO GET SORE ABOUT.

WELL, I'VE GOT THAT ALREADY.

OH, YOU HAVE?

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]

COME ON!

COME ON! THROW IT!

GIVE ME THAT BALL!

IT'S MY BALL.

AND I'M VERY WILLING
TO LET YOU FELLOWS PLAY WITH IT

IF I'M IN THE GAME, TOO.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU
WOULD HAPPEN

IF YOU WERE ON THE SAME SIDE
OF THE STREET AS ME?

COME ON.

YOU CAN'T MAKE A RULE LIKE THAT.
THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

PRETTY SMART, AIN'T YOU?

LISTEN, BUGS,
BOX THIS LIMEY'S EARS DOWN.

HE'S TOO SMALL FOR ME.

OH, NO, I'M NOT.

GO ON.

[ LAUGHS ]

GET HIM, BUCK!

[ BOYS SHOUTING ]

GO ON.
WHAT ARE YOU WAVING?

[ SHOUTING CONTINUES ]

Boy #1: HEY, LIMEY,
KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT!

Boy #2: YOU SQUEAL,
AND WE'LL KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF!

WHAT WAS YOU SAYING
TO MULDOON?

NOTHING.
I'D LIKE MY FOOTBALL, PLEASE.

DID HE ASK YOU
WHO GAVE YOU THAT MOUSE?

YES.
A-A SHINER, HE CALLED IT.

AND YOU WENT AND TOLD HIM,
DIDN'T YOU?

OF COURSE NOT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I'D BE,
A SQUEALER?

AHH...

GO ON.
GIVE HIM HIS BALL.

COME ON.

COME ON IF YOU'RE COMING.

I DON'T LIKE GUYS
WALKING AROUND IN BACK OF ME.

HIYA, BUCK, OLD KID.

HI, SHIVVY.

TALK TO BUCK ABOUT IT.
THAT'S A GOOD PROPOSITION.

WHAT IS?

I'LL TELL YOU LATER.

WHAT DID YOU BRING HIM
ALONG FOR?

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

Bugs: WELL, IF I WAS BUCK,
I'D HAVE GONE BACK

AND PASTED HIS PUSS
FROM HERE TO THE RIVER OREL.

Six-Toes: HI, BUCK.

HI, GIG.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

THE LIMEY'S IN, YOU GUYS.
ANY ARGUMENTS?

NO.

HOW ABOUT YOU, BUGS?

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.
SIT DOWN, DOPE.

BUGS, EH?

[ CRACK ]

OOH!

I'M SORRY, FELLOWS. I'M AFRAID
I'VE BROKEN THE CHAIR.

COME ON.
GIVE HIM A HAND.

GET HIM
OUT OF THE CHAIR!

OOH!

IF YOU BREAK THAT CHAIR,
I'LL BUST YOU ONE!

SHUT UP, BUGS.

BUGS. THAT'S AN ODD NAME,
ISN'T IT?

NO. HE EATS BUGS.
THAT'S ALL.

GO AHEAD. EAT A BUG.

FIND HIM A BUG.

HERE'S ONE!

I SAY! A RED ANT.

WHAT DO THEY TASTE LIKE?

JUST KIND OF BITTER.

YOU ATE A BEE ONCE,
DIDN'T YOU?

MM-HMM.

DIDN'T IT STING YOU?

NAH.
ATE A BUTTERFLY ONCE, TOO,

AND ITS WINGS
WERE ALL DUSTY-LIKE.

THIS IS SIX-TOES.

SIX-TOES?

GO AHEAD. SHOW HIM.

WHY DO THEY
CALL HIM THAT?

WAIT A MINUTE,
AND YOU'LL SEE.

COME HERE.

SEE?

BY JOE!

I SAY, NOW,
THIS IS SOMETHING!

ONLY ABOUT EIGHT PEOPLE IN
THE WORLD HAVE FEET LIKE MINE.

AS SOON AS HE LEARNS
TO WRITE AND DRAW WITH THEM,

HIS OLD LADY'S GONNA
PUT HIM IN THE CIRCUS.

HE'LL GO
ALL OVER THE WORLD.

YEAH. SHE'S GETTING MAD 'CAUSE
I CAN'T LEARN HOW TO SPELL.

IF YOU LEARN HOW TO PRONOUNCE
YOUR WORDS CORRECTLY,

IT'S VERY EASY TO SPELL.

Bugs: THE WAY YOU TALK,
I'LL BET YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE

TO SPELL AT ALL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HEY, BUCK.

Buck: YEAH.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

SHIVVY SAID
HE'D GIVE US A HALF A BUCK

FOR EVERY TIRE
WE COULD GET.

GOOD. WE'LL MAKE
A BUCK A DAY EASY.

YEAH. I FIGURED THAT, TOO.

BUT 80 BUCKS.
THAT'S 160 DAYS.

$80? WHAT DO YOU WANT
WITH 80 BUCKS?

I WAS LOOKING AT A TOMBSTONE
FOR MY OLD MAN.

I SAW ONE, AND THE GUY
SAID IT WAS 80 BUCKS.

160 DAYS,
IT MIGHT BE GONE, AND...

I'LL GIVE YOU MY CUT.

THANKS, BUT IT'D TAKE
A LONG TIME ANYWAY.

WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR AUNT ROSE
FOR THE DOUGH?

NO. SHE --
SHE DIDN'T LIKE MY OLD MAN.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL HER
WHAT IT'S FOR.

SHE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO GIVE YOU
THINGS ANYWAY, ISN'T SHE?

I GUESS SO.

WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?

ON PARK AVENUE.

EVER BEEN UP THERE?

NO.

COME ON. LET'S GO UP
AND ASK HER FOR THE $80.

WELL --
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I WAS JUST WONDERING WHERE
YOU FELLOWS ARE GOING.

WE'RE GOING WAY UPTOWN.

IN THE SUBWAY?

NO. WE'RE TAKING A TAXI.

COME ON, LET'S SCRAM.
IT AIN'T EASY TO HITCH UPTOWN.

THERE AIN'T MANY TRUCKS.

WAIT. I HAVE 50 CENTS.
WE COULD TAKE THE SUBWAY.

LET'S SEE IT.

HEY, YOU THINK WE GOT TIME
FOR A SODA?

WHY NOT?

LET'S GO.

YOU TALK TOO MUCH.

I WON'T SAY A WORD.

IT'S A ROLLS-ROYCE!

YEAH. THEY MAKE THEM
IN THE ENGLISH ISLANDS.

I REALLY CAN'T SEE
THAT THEY HAVE ANY ADVANTAGE

OVER OUR OWN
AMERICAN CARS.

HEY, YOU KIDS
KEEP OUT OF HERE, NOW!

WE'RE GOING TO
SEE MY AUNT ROSE.

OH, YEAH?

YEAH! YEAH!

WELL, YOU CAN'T
GO INSIDE.

YOU CAN'T MAKE A RULE LIKE THAT.
THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY.

GO ON, GET OUTSIDE!

GET!

YOU CAN'T...

YOU BOYS
CAN'T COME IN HERE.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

ROSE HAWLEY LIVES HERE,
DON'T SHE?

WHY, YES, BUT --

WELL, SHE'S MY AUNT,
AND SHE TOLD ME TO COME
UP AND SEE HER, SEE?

COME ON!
GET OUT OF HERE!

Buck: LET GO OF ME,
YOU BIG FLATFOOT!

WAIT A MINUTE, MY MAN.

I BEG YOUR PARDON, BUT YOU'RE
THE CONCIERGE HERE, ARE YOU NOT?

HUH?

THIS IS GIG STEVENS,
AND IF YOU'LL JUST KINDLY

ANNOUNCE HIM TO HIS AUNT,
MISS HAWLEY?

THANK YOU.

PENTHOUSE.

Buck:
GUESS THAT SLOWS YOU UP.

Concierge: MASTER STEVENS AND
TWO FRIENDS TO SEE MISS HAWLEY.

YES, MASTER STEVENS.

"MASTER STEVENS"?
WHAT KIND OF A CRACK IS THAT?

OH, THEY MUST HAVE GOT
AHOLD OF A HOT PIECE
OF BREAD SOMEPLACE.

WELL, THAT'S QUITE
ALL RIGHT.

VERY WELL.
ELEVATOR'S OVER THERE.

PENTHOUSE.

[ DOORMAN CLEARS THROAT ]

[ DOOR SLIDES OPEN ]

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A POMERANIAN.

I MEAN WHAT'S WITH IT?
I TELL YA.

[ DOORBELL BUZZES ]

Molly: ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

COME ON IN, KIDS!

GEE!

OH, UH, THANK YOU.

Gig: AUNT ROSE!

Rose: GIG?

YEAH.

HELLO, BIG BOY.

HOW ARE YOU?

JUST FINE.

WELL, WELL, WELL!
WHAT A LOT OF NICE COMPANY.

YOU KNOW BUCK.

SURE.

HELLO, BUCK.
HOW ARE YOU?

SWELL.

WE JUST THOUGHT WE'D COME DOWN
AND SEE YOU FOR A WHILE.

PERFECT!
WHO'S THE OTHER MUSKETEER?

OH, YOU MEAN HIM?

MM-HMM.

I'M CLAUDE.
CLAUDE PIERCE.

HELLO, CLAUDE.
HOW ARE YOU?

MOLLY, MOLLY, DON'T STAND THERE
GLUED TO THE FLOOR.

BRING OUT SOME GINGER ALE OR
LEMONADE OR CAKE OR SOMETHING.

Molly: YES'M, YES'M!

NOW, COME ON, EVERYBODY.
AUNT ROSE WILL GIVE A PARTY.

NOW, YOU ALL SIT DOWN HERE.

WE DON'T STAND AT ANY CEREMONY
AROUND HERE, DO WE, GIG?

YOU KNOW,
SHE CAN TURN CARTWHEELS.

SHE CAN?
I SAY! BRAVO.

BRAVO, EH?

WELL, MR. BRAVO,
AND WHAT CAN YOU DO

TO GET A SHINER LIKE THAT?

WELL, I, UH,
SORT OF, UH --

I-I GOT IT
GOING AFTER A FOOTBALL.

YEAH. YEAH, HE'D MAKE
A GOOD FOOTBALL PLAYER, TOO.

FOOTBALL. ATTABOY.

SAY, YOU DON'T LIVE
ON THE SAME BLOCK WITH
GIG AND BUCK, DO YOU?

YES, WITH MY DAD.

OH. WHERE'S MOTHER?

WELL, UH,
SHE'S AWAY IN FLORIDA.

YOU, UH, SEE,
THEY'RE MUCH HAPPIER

NOT LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE
ANYMORE.

THEY'RE DIVORCED.

YOU KNOW,
I SHOULD DEFINITELY

LIKE TO SEE YOU
TURN CARTWHEELS.

DEFINITELY?

HE MEANS SHOW HIM,
AUNT ROSE.

WELL, NOT SINCE
THE WINTER GARDEN,

AND I'M LIABLE TO BREAK
A LEG, AND THEN YOU'D
HAVE TO SHOOT ME.

BUT HERE GOES.

Buck: AH!

Claude: HOORAY!

[ APPLAUSE ]

COME ON OVER, FELLAS.

HAWLEY AND STEVENS AND
15 MINUTES OF MIRTH AND MELODY.

SAY "AH."

AH.

SAY "AH."

AH.

"AH."

AH.

♪ WHEN YOU FEEL BELOW YOUR PAR ♪

♪ AND YOU'VE GOT NO SOCK ♪

♪ AND YOU DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE ♪

♪ LISTEN TO THE DOC ♪

AHEM!

♪ SAY "AH" ♪

♪ SAY "AH" ♪

AH!

♪ WHEN THE DOCTOR COMES
TO SAVE YOUR HIDE ♪

♪ JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH UP,
BOTH BIG AND WIDE ♪

♪ SAY "AH" ♪

♪ AH ♪

♪ SAY "AH-AH-AH-AH-AH" ♪

♪ SAY "AH!" ♪

♪ AH! ♪

♪ SAY "AH-AH-AH" ♪

♪ AH-AH-AH ♪

♪ OH, YOU FEEL SO SILLY,
YOU COULD YELL ♪

♪ IT'S THE THING TO DO
TO MAKE YOU WELL ♪

♪ SAY "AHH-AHH!" ♪

AHH-AHH!

♪ SAY "AHH-AHH-AHH" ♪

♪ DON'T EVER TRY
TO SING AND SWING ♪

♪ LIKE FOLKS ON THE RADIO ♪

♪ DON'T EVER TRY,
YOU CAN'T GET BY ♪

♪ WITH A WAHOO, BABY,
OR A HO-HO-HO ♪

♪ SAY "AH" ♪

AH!
AH! AH!

♪ SAY "AH" ♪
AH! AH!

♪ ALL THE MEDICINE MEN,
THEIR LIVES DEVOTE ♪

♪ TO GET YOU
ON SOME PHONY NOTE ♪

♪ SO OPEN UP YOUR THROAT ♪

♪ AND SAY "AH AH AH" ♪

[ SCATTING ]

[ IMITATING
PLUCKING BASS ]

[ TAPPING ]

[ SCATTING CONTINUES ]

♪ DON'T EVER TRY,
YOU CAN'T GET BY ♪

♪ WITH A WAHOO, BABY,
AND A HO-HO-HO ♪

♪ SAY "AH" ♪

AH!

SAY "AH-AH-AH-AH-AH"!

AH-AH-AH-AH-AH!

OH, I GOT IT!

♪ SAY "AH" ♪

♪ SAY "AH" ♪

[ SCATTING ]

♪ DO-DO-LA, DO-DO LAY-HEY ♪

♪ DO-DO-LA, DO-DO-LAY ♪

BL-BL-BL-BL YIPPEE!

♪ AHHHHH ♪

♪ AHHH ♪

♪ AHHHHHHHHHH ♪

WHOO-HOO! WHEE!

OH, MISS ROSE.

Rose: WHAT IS IT?

MR. BARKEL WANTS YOU
ON THE TELEPHONE.

OH.
WHAT TIME IS IT?

IT'S PAST 3:00.
HE SAYS YOU'RE LATE.

OH, LOOK. TELL HIM I'LL CALL
HIM BACK IN A FEW MINUTES.

YES.

COME ON, FELLAS. FALL TO.
I'VE GOT TO GET DRESSED.

AUNT ROSE.

YEAH?

LISTEN, COULD I ASK YOU
FOR SOMETHING?

SURE, GIG.
WHAT IS IT?

WELL, COULD YOU
GIVE ME $80?

$80?

THAT IS A TOUCH, MISTER.
WHAT DO YOU WANT $80 FOR?

I JUST GOT TO HAVE IT.
THAT'S ALL.

I KNOW, BUT YOU CAN TELL ME
WHAT YOU WANT IT FOR, CAN'T YOU?

GIG, YOU'RE NOT IN ANY TROUBLE,
ARE YOU?

OH, NO. IT'S --
IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT.

IT'S JUST THAT I GOT TO HAVE
THE 80 BUCKS.

THAT'S ON THE LEVEL,
HONEST.

BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT'S
AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY, GIG.

NOW, LISTEN,
YOU KNOW AUNT ROSE

WOULD HELP YOU OUT OF A JAM
IF SHE COULD.

COME ON.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.

WELL, I JUST NEED
THE 80 BUCKS.

YOU SAID THAT YOU'D HELP ME
IF EVER I NEEDED IT.

YES, I KNOW.
I'D JUST LOVE TO HELP YOU.

BUT IT'S SUCH
A LOT OF MONEY,

AND I JUST CAN'T GIVE YOU $80
IF YOU'RE --

I'M SORRY, MISS ROSE,
BUT MR. BARKEL SAID

HE'LL BE BY IN A LITTLE SPELL
AND PICK YOU UP.

ALL RIGHT. THANKS.
WELL, NOW, FELLAS,

Y-YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME,
'CAUSE I'VE GOT TO GET DRESSED.

NOW, LISTEN, GIG, THE NEXT TIME
YOU COME UP HERE TO SEE ME,

YOU LET ME KNOW IN ADVANCE, AND
WE'LL HAVE A REAL PARTY, OKAY?

LISTEN, GIG...

GIG, I-IT'S NOTHING
ABOUT MOTHER, IS IT?

OH, NO, NO. EVERYTHING'S
ALL RIGHT, REALLY, AUNT.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, LISTEN,
YOU COME UP TO SEE ME

SOME AFTERNOON NEXT WEEK, AND
WE'LL TALK IT ALL OVER, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY. GOODBYE.

GOODBYE.

NICE TO SEE YOU.

BYE.

BYE-BYE.

Claude: THANK YOU.
GOODBYE.

Gig: GOODBYE.

Molly: GOODBYE, KIDS.

WHO WAS THE LOUDMOUTH MONKEY
ON THE TELEPHONE?

MR. BARKEL? MA SAYS HE'S HER
FINANCIAL ADVISOR OR SOMETHING.

WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD
ASK HIM FOR THE MONEY.

WHAT DO YOU NEED THE $80 FOR,
ANYWAY, GIG?

LISTEN, CAN'T A GUY
GET SOME MONEY

FOR HIS OLD MAN'S TOMBSTONE
IF HE WANTS?

OH, SHUT UP, WILL YOU?
COME ON.

HELLO, DAD!

HELLO, THERE!

HOT, ISN'T IT?

MM. WARM, EH?

OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
WRITING A LETTER?

YES.

WELL, DO YOU HAVE TO?

WELL, I --

WELL, LET'S HEAR ABOUT IT.
ROUND BY ROUND, EH?

WELL, THE BOBBY
CALLED IT A SHINER,

BUT BUCK SAID
IT WAS A MOUSE.

OOH, I'M ONE
OF THE GANG NOW,

AND THEY HAVE A HIDEOUT
IN A LOT OF MOTORCAR BODIES,

AND THEN LATER,
GIG TOOK BUCK AND ME

TO SEE HIS AUNT ROSE
UP ON PARK AVENUE.

WHAT, GIG HAS AN AUNT
LIVING ON PARK AVENUE?

IN A VERY PRETTY FLAT.
AND SHE'S VERY PRETTY HERSELF.

AND SHE WEARS PAJAMAS,
AND SHE TURNED CARTWHEELS

ALL OVER THE DRAWING ROOM.

REALLY, NOW?

OH, IT WAS A JOLLY VISIT,

BUT THEN MR. BARKEL CALLED,
AND SHE HAD TO LEAVE.

MR. BARKEL, HUH?
HER HUSBAND?

OH, NO. GIG SAID
HE WAS HER FINANCIAL ADVISOR.

HER FINAN--

OH, YES, YEAH.
YES, OF COURSE.

AND SHE PLAYED THE PIANO
AND SANG

JUST LIKE SHE USED TO
AT THE WINTER GARDEN,

AND BUCK DANCED,
AND GIG PLAYED, TOO.

AND, UH, WE HAD
GINGER ALE AND, UH --

LISTEN, NOW, SON,
I DON'T THINK

YOU OUGHT TO GO DOWN THERE
ANYMORE, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

YOU KNOW, A FELLOW OUGHTN'T TO
INTRUDE ON OLDER PEOPLE, HUH?

VERY WELL, SIR,
BUT IF YOU COULD MEET HER,

I'M SURE YOU'D THINK HER
A DREADFULLY NICE PERSON.

I'D BE SURE I SHOULD.
TELL ME ABOUT THE FIGHT.

OH, WELL,
IT WASN'T MUCH OF A FIGHT,

AND I WAS KIND OF GLAD
WHEN THE BOBBY CAME ALONG.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, UH, I SAY, DAD,

ABOUT THE BICYCLE
YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ME,

UH, WOULD IT COST
AS MUCH AS $80?

NO, NO, NO.
ABOUT $20, I IMAGINE.

WELL, THAT
WOULD BE SOMETHING.

YOU SEE, DAD,
I WAS THINKING

THAT INSTEAD OF
BUYING A BICYCLE --

LISTEN, NOW, SON,
I'M AFRAID WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO

PUT OFF THAT BICYCLE
FOR A WHILE.

YOU SEE, THOSE PLANS
COME BACK FOR CHANGES,

AND WE DON'T GET PAID
TILL THEY'RE ACCEPTED,

AND, WELL, WE HAVEN'T
VERY MANY $20

KNOCKING ABOUT JUST NOW.

Y-YOU MEAN
WE'RE RATHER HARD UP?

I'M AFRAID SO.
IF YOU CAN WAIT UNTIL, UM --

Y-YOU MEAN WE'RE POOR
LIKE GIG AND BUCK?

WELL, VERY NEARLY.

WELL, THEN,
ARE WE POOR ENOUGH

SO THAT I CAN BUY A PAIR
OF CORDUROY PANTS?

WHY, OF COURSE!

OH, GEE! THAT'S SWELL!
SHAKE, DAD!

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

HELLO.

HELLO.

HI, GIG!
HI, BUCK!

THE FELLAS ARE DOWN AT THE
HIDEOUT. AREN'T YOU COMING OVER?

NO. WE'RE BUSY.

GO ON. SCRAM, LIMEY.
WE GOT BUSINESS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
FIXING THE TIRE?

YEAH, FIXING IT.
NOW, BEAT IT, WILL YOU?

HEY, OH,
HE WAS A SAFE!

OH, HE WAS NOT!

IT WAS A TWO-BAGGER!

IT WAS NOT!

OH, NOW, LISTEN,
YOU CAN'T TELL ME!

HE WAS OUT ON SECOND!

[ ARGUING INDISTINCTLY ]

HELLO! HI!

EH, YOU SEE,
WE'D HAVE HAD THAT ONE

IF YOU HADN'T BUTTED IN.

OH, UH,
YOU MEAN THE TIRE?

OH, GO ON AND SPILL IT TO HIM
SO HE KEEPS HIS TRAP SHUT.

WELL, WE GOT TO
GET THAT 80 BUCKS, SEE,

SO SHIVVY, YOU KNOW,
IS GONNA GIVE US A HALF A BUCK

FOR EVERY TIRE
THAT WE CAN FIND.

OHH.

[ LAUGHS ]
A LEMON!

I LIKE LEMONS!

OH, YEAH.

BIRDS OF A FEATHER
ARE TWO OF A KIND.

HE COULD BE A LOOKOUT FOR US.
YOU KNOW THAT?

YEAH.

CAN YOU WHISTLE LIKE THIS?
[ WHISTLES ]

OF COURSE.

WELL, YOU STAY HERE AND
WHISTLE IF ANYBODY COMES BY.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

I KNOW,
BUT STEALING TIRES --

OH, YOU'RE YELLOW, HUH?

OH, OF COURSE --

WELL, COME ON, LIMEY,
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

ARE YOU IN OR OUT?

OH, I'M IN.

WELL, HURRY UP.
WE AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.

COME ON.

[ WHISTLE FAILS ]

HELLO, MR. MULDOON!

HELLO, YOUNG FELLA.

WOULD YOU LIKE A SUCK OF LEMON,
MR. MULDOON?

NO, THANKS.
NEVER EAT THEM.

UH, CAN YOU WHISTLE,
MR. MULDOON?

SURE. WHY?

WELL, I DON'T SEEM
TO BE ABLE TO.

I CAN PUCKER, BUT
NOTHING SEEMS TO COME OUT.

YOU DON'T DO IT RIGHT.
TRY IT LIKE THIS.

[ WHISTLES WEAKLY ]

WILL YOU DO IT AGAIN, PLEASE,
MR. MULDOON?

SURE.
[ WHISTLES ]

THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT!
[ LAUGHS ]

HEY, MISTER, YOUR TIRE!

LISTEN, WHAT KIND OF
A LOOKOUT ARE YOU?

EH, SWELL LOOKOUT
YOU MAKE.

YEAH.

I DON'T WANT
TO BE A LOOKOUT.

BESIDES, YOU'LL NEVER GET $80
THAT WAY.

WELL, WHAT YOU GOT
THAT'S BETTER, SMART GUY?

WHY, WHY,
THAT'S QUITE SIMPLE.

OH, IT IS?

YES.

DON'T STEAL FROM THE POOR.

STEAL FROM THE RICH,
LIKE MR. RATWOLF.

RATWOLF?
WHAT MOB DID HE RUN WITH?

HE DIDN'T HAVE TO HAVE A MOB.
HE WAS A LONE WOLF.

AH.

YES.

NOW, THE IDEA
IS TO STEAL THINGS

THAT BOYS LIKE US CAN DISPOSE OF
WITHOUT SUSPICION.

LIKE WHAT?

WELL,
LIKE TOYS AND THINGS.

SHALL WE GO DOWN TO THE HIDEOUT
AND MAKE OUR PLANS?

HOW CAN WE LOSE?

ALL RIGHT. GO ON.
GO ON DOWN TO THE HIDEOUT.

ARE YOU SURE
THERE'S NOBODY INSIDE?

OF COURSE.
CAN'T YOU SEE?

IT'S ALL BOARDED UP
FOR THE SEASON.

NOW, COME ON, THEN.

NOW, ACT NONCHALANT.

[ CAR HORN HONKS ]

Shh!

What's the matter?

I thought
I heard a footfall.

I didn't hear anything.

Keep cool, men.

Now, you men help me over the
top, and I'll help you over.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.
Get up.

Come on, Buck.

Come on, Buck.

[ CAR HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE ]

Now, you stand watch here
and come when I whistle.

Right.

And you come over here.

Now, you stand watch here, and
you come when I whistle, too.

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Hey, Limey.
Limey!

Claude! Claude!

[ WHISTLES ]

He done it.

Yeah.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute.

You know,
breaking into a house,

w-we could get 20 years
for this.

When you steal,
you have to take chances.

Say, you men aren't afraid,
are you?

Who? Me? Let's go.

Yeah. Let's go.

Yeah. Yeah.

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

CLAUDE: Shh!

You'll have the whole
of Scotland Yard upon us.

BUCK: How do you know
whose yard it is?

I thought you said
nobody was at home.

Shh. Tiptoe.

What are we going upstairs
here for?

People always keep
their valuables upstairs.

Why?

Well, uh, because.

Oh.

Now, we'll try this room
in here first.

Now, the play rooms
are usually about here.

Gee, are you cold,
too, Buck?

Yeah.

Just as I thought.

Gee!
Look at that swell sled!

And there's a pair of skates,
ain't they?

I'd like to be able
to jump on those.

Where would
you jump from?

I don't know.

We have no time
to lose, men.

Only take what we can carry.
We may have to make two trips.

GIG:
Gee! Look at that engine!

My old man said once he was
gonna get me one of those.

Aw, sissy junk.

OH, UH, HELLO, OFFICER.

HI, MULDOON.

MORNING, BOYS.

HEY, THIS IS IT.
HERE IT IS.

HEY, MISTER!
MISTER, COME HERE.

$60, $70, $80. HEY, MISTER,
HERE'S YOUR 80 BUCKS.

I WANT IT DELIVERED
TO THE LAWN REST CEMETERY.

THE MAN WILL TELL YOU WHERE
TO PUT IT WHEN YOU GET IT THERE.

I WANT "STEVENS,
JAMES EDWARD STEVENS,"

AND I WANT YOU TO PUT IT DOWN
INTO THE, UH --

JUST A MINUTE, SON.
THAT'S $80 DOWN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "DOWN"?
I'M PUTTING IT DOWN, AIN'T I?

THAT'S THE FIRST PAYMENT.
IT COSTS $500 ALL TOTAL.

$500?

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU'VE GOT TO PAY $50 MONTHLY
FROM NOW ON,

AND THEN THE REST --

$500? YOU SAID 80 BUCKS.
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID. 80 BUCKS.

I TOLD EVERYBODY.
NOW, YOU GOT TO DO WHAT YOU --

ISN'T THERE ONE
HE COULD GET FOR $80?

I COULD, UH, GIVE YOU THIS ONE
FOR THAT MONEY.

WELL -- WELL, COULD I HAVE
AN ANGEL ON IT

LIKE -- LIKE THIS ONE?

NO, NO. THAT, UH...

[ SIGHS ]
UH, THAT WOULDN'T --

ALL RIGHT, SON, I'LL --

I'LL GIVE YOU AN ANGEL.

Gig: OKAY.

IT WILL BE OVER THERE
THIS WEEK.

[ HAMMERING ]

WELL, I-I SUPPOSE
IT'S ALL RIGHT,

AS LONG AS IT'S GOT
AN ANGEL ON IT.

OF COURSE, GIG.
THAT'S WHAT REALLY COUNTS.

SURE. SURE.
DON'T LET ANYBODY FOOL YOU.

AN ANGEL'S
THE WHOLE WORKS.

AH, THANK YOU, JENNIE.
THANK YOU.

I ALWAYS USED TO SAY A CUP
OF COFFEE IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL,

NO MATTER
WHAT TIME OF DAY.

"USED TO SAY"?

WELL, I --

YOUR SOUL DOESN'T NEED ANY MORE
GOODNESS IN IT, JENNIE.

OH, WELL, IT'S VERY NICE
OF YOU TO SAY THAT, PAUL.

OH, MY.
I-I'LL BE LATE FOR WORK.

THIS IS SALE WEEK, AND
THERE WILL BE A RUSH TONIGHT.

JUST A MINUTE, JENNIE.

OH, HONEST, PAUL.

LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU.

I CERTAINLY APPRECIATE
YOUR SAYING THAT, PAUL.

I KNOW IT SEEMS A LITTLE SOON,
BUT WE'RE OLD FRIENDS.

I WANT TO ADOPT YOUR BOY
AS MY OWN.

JENNIE, I WANT
TO CHANGE YOUR NAME.

OH.

WELL, I DON'T THINK GIG WOULD
WANT TO CHANGE HIS NAME.

WHY, JUST AS SOON AS HE
AND I KNOW EACH OTHER

A LITTLE BETTER,
WE'LL BE JUST LIKE --

MOM, THERE'S SOMETHING
I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU.

WELL, MY BOY!
WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.

OH, GIG, YOU REMEMBER
MR. KRUMPP.

WELL, YOU'RE GETTING TO BE
A PRETTY BIG BOY, I'LL SAY.

OH, UH, WHAT WAS IT
YOU WANTED TO TELL ME, GIG?

OH, NOTHING
IN PARTICULAR.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

DOES MRS. STEVENS LIVE HERE?

YEAH.

IS SHE HERE NOW?

YEAH.

GO GET HER, WILL YOU?

WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH HER?

JUST GET HER, SON.
THAT'S ALL.

OH.

OH, GIG, UH, MR. KRUMPP
WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF US.

HE WANTS TO MARRY ME.
ISN'T THAT NICE?

THERE'S ANOTHER GUY OUTSIDE
WANTS TO SEE YOU.

ARE YOU
MRS. JAMES STEVENS?

YES.

HERE'S A CITATION.
YOU'RE TO BRING YOUR BOY

DOWN TO HALL OF JUSTICE
TOMORROW MORNING AT 10:00.

HALL OF JUSTICE?
WHY -- WELL, WHAT'S HE DONE?

IT'S ALL DOWN THERE.

BURGLARY SUSPECT.
HIM AND TWO OTHER BOYS.

10:00 TOMORROW MORNING,
SHARP.

OH, GIG!
DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID?

BURGLARY! OH, GIG!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I AIN'T SAYING
A THING, MOM.

OH, GIG, AM I GONNA
HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH YOU

WHAT I DID
WITH YOUR FATHER?

YOU AIN'T CARING MUCH
ABOUT MY FATHER.

JUST A MOMENT,
MY BOY, IT WAS --

I AIN'T YOUR BOY!

OH, GIG!
THIS IS AWFUL!

GIG, IF YOU'LL
JUST TELL US --

I AIN'T TALKING, SEE?
I AIN'T SAYING A THING.

YOU UNDERSTAND?
I AIN'T TALKING. THAT'S ALL.

Jennie: OHH!

YOU AIN'T TALKING, EH?
WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

GO AHEAD AND SEE ABOUT IT.

SO, THIS IS WHAT I GET.

HERE I FOUGHT AND BLED

TO MAKE THIS COUNTRY
SAFE FOR DEMOCRACY,

A DECENT PLACE TO LIVE IN,

AND NOW
MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD

TURNS INTO A NO-GOOD,
FRESH RAT, A THIEF!

AND YOU WON'T TALK, EH?

WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT,
MR. WON'T TALK.

ARE YOU GONNA TALK?

ARE YOU GONNA TALK?

ARE YOU GONNA TALK?

[ SMACKING ]

HOW'S THAT TO HELP
OPEN YOUR MOUTH?!

JIM MURPHY!
JIM MURPHY!

WHAT ARE YOU BEATING
THAT BOY AGAIN FOR?

YOU STOP IT!

YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!

STOP BEATING THAT BOY!

OKAY!

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE GIVEN BIRTH
TO A DIRTY LITTLE THIEF,

THERE IT IS.

TO THE POLICE WE GO,
10:00 TOMORROW MORNING.

HIM AND THAT STEVENS KID

AND THAT CLAUDE PIERCE,
THAT BLUE BLOOD!

CLAUDE PIERCE?

YEAH, THAT FOREIGN ELEMENT
WE'RE LETTING INTO THE COUNTRY.

OH, ROBERT, ROBERT,
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

GO AHEAD. GIVE HIM BACK HIS BELT
IF HE WANTS IT, MOM.

I AIN'T TALKING.

[ Crying ] ROBERT, ROBERT!
OH, ROBERT!

I CAN'T TELL YOU A THING.
REALLY, I CAN'T.

WELL, I'LL POSSIBLY FIND OUT
TOMORROW, YOU KNOW.

BUT -- BUT, DAD,

YOU WOULDN'T WANT ME
TO BE A SQUEALER, WOULD YOU?

LISTEN,
A FELLA'S ONLY A SQUEALER

WHEN HE PUTS THE BLAME
ON SOMEONE ELSE

TO SAVE HIS OWN FACE,
YOU KNOW.

BUT --
BUT DON'T YOU SEE, DAD...

I-I'M ONE OF THE GANG NOW.

I DON'T WISH TO WORRY YOU.
TRULY I DON'T, DAD.

BUT, YOU SEE,
WE HAVE A CODE, AND --

WELL, WHAT ABOUT OUR CODE?

ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SECRETS
FROM EACH OTHER?

DAD, I --

TRULY, YOU JUST
DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THAT'S ALL.

CLAUDE. COME HERE.

SIR?

COME HERE.

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
I WANT TO KNOW.

EXAMINE YOURSELF INSIDE.

IN YOUR HEART, HAVE YOU DONE

ANYTHING DISHONORABLE,
ANYTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF?

NO, SIR.

RIGHT.

THEN WHATEVER IT IS,
WE'LL SEE IT THROUGH, HUH?

OH, I'M CLAUDE PIERCE.

SIT DOWN.

HI, BUCK.

DAD, THIS IS BUCK.

I'M CLAUDE'S FATHER.

OH. CHARMED TO SHAKE
YOUR HAND, I'M SURE.

HOW DO.

ENGLISH, EH?

THAT'S IT.

I WAS OVER THERE IN '17.
PROUD LITTLE COUNTRY, AIN'T IT?

YES. WE WERE AT THE TIME,
I IMAGINE.

I WAS WITH THE 77th, NEW YORK.
WHAT OUTFIT WAS YOU IN?

SUSSEX...

SUSSEX...

[ CHUCKLES ]
NUTTY NAMES YOU GUYS HAD.

I GUESS YOU WERE KIND
OF GLAD TO SEE US COME
OVER THERE AT THAT, EH?

YEAH.
WE WERE VERY GRATEFUL.

GRATEFUL? WELL, THAT'S
ONE WAY OF PUTTING IT.

WELL, IT'S THE BEST
I CAN THINK OF.

YOU SEE, YOU'RE THE FIRST
AMERICAN I'VE MET SO FAR

THAT'S ASKED ME
THAT QUESTION.

IT'S CERTAINLY NOT NICE MEETING
YOU THIS WAY, MR. PIERCE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO KIDS THESE DAYS.

HEAVEN KNOWS WE'VE WORKED
OUR FINGERS TO THE BONE

TO GIVE BUCK
THE BEST OF EVERYTHING.

Mr. Murphy: THAT STEVENS BRAT'S
FAULT, 10 TO 1.

OLD RED WAS
A GOOD SOLDIER, OKAY,

BUT THERE'S
A STREAK THERE.

THERE'S BAD BLOOD THERE,
MR. PIERCE.

WHY, IF I --

HERE'S GIG.

Buck:
LOOK WHO'S WITH HIM.

DAD, THIS IS MISS HAWLEY,
GIG'S AUNT ROSE.

HOW DO YOU DO?

OH, YES. HELLO.

YOU'RE THE LADY WHO TURNS
CARTWHEELS, HUH?

I'M AFRAID I AM.

AS WELL AS YOU CAN CATCH
A FOOTBALL?

THANKS.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALL OF THIS
IS ABOUT?

NO, I DON'T. GIG'S GONE
FOOLISH STUBBORN ON ME.

HAS YOUR STAR HALFBACK
DONE THE SAME?

YES. THESE FELLAS,
THEY DON'T EVEN REALIZE --

[ GAVEL BANGS ]

JOSEPH WILSON, I USUALLY
PRONOUNCE SENTENCE IN CHAMBERS,

BUT YOUR CASE IS SO FLAGRANTLY
FULL OF MISDEMEANORS,

BROKEN PROMISES,
OPEN DEFIANCE TO THE LAW...

THAT I FEEL THE WHOLE COURT
SHOULD LISTEN

SO THAT YOUR CONTEMPORARIES --
THAT IS THE YOUNG MEN

IN THIS COURTROOM
WHO MIGHT BE TEMPTED

INTO FOLLOWING
YOUR VICIOUS EXAMPLE --

SHALL HEAR WHAT ACTION YOU HAVE
FORCED THE STATE TO TAKE.

FOR TWO YEARS,
YOU'VE LIED

TO THE PROBATION OFFICERS
WHO TRIED TO HELP YOU.

YOU'VE LIED TO ME.

BUT WHAT'S WORSE,
YOU'VE LIED TO YOUR MOTHER --

STOLEN AND LIED

AND SUCCEEDED
IN MAKING HER VERY MISERABLE.

THEREFORE,
IT'S MY UNPLEASANT DUTY

TO SENTENCE YOU
ON THIS DATE

TO FOUR YEARS IN
THE STATE REFORMATORY.

OH, NO! OH, NO, JUDGE!
OH, JOE, MY BABY!

COME ON, SON.
COME ON.

[ Crying ] MY BABY!
I'LL COME SEE YOU, DARLING!

I'LL PRAY FOR YOU!

OH, JOEY, BE A GOOD BOY,
WON'T YOU?

JOEY, BE A GOOD BOY, WON'T YOU?

NEXT CASE IN CHAMBERS.

YES, SIR.

ROBERT MURPHY,
JAMES STEVENS JR.,

CLAUDE PIERCE,
AND THEIR PARENTS,

WITNESSES AND OFFICERS
IN THE CASE --

STEP THIS WAY, PLEASE.

RIGHT IN HERE, FOLKS.

I HOPE THEY SEND US ALL
TO THE SAME PLACE.

AS I SEE, YOUR HONOR,
YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OVER

WHEN OFFICER MULDOON
QUESTIONED ME ABOUT THE TOYS.

I-I THINK I WAS OVER-GENEROUS
ON THE DEAL, YOUR HONOR.

THEY COULDN'T
HAVE GOT THAT PRICE

FROM ANY OTHER
ESTABLISHMENT.

THAT'S ALL, MR. MULSON.

OH. CAN I GO NOW?

NO. BE SEATED, PLEASE.

NOW, ACCORDING
TO THIS REPORT,

NONE OF YOU BOYS
WILL HELP US OR YOURSELVES

BY SAYING A WORD
IN THIS MATTER.

IS THAT RIGHT, ROBERT?

THAT'S RIGHT.

ROBERT, LOOK AT ME
WHEN YOU'RE TALKING.

YES, SIR.
THAT'S RIGHT.

JAMES,
CAN'T YOU HELP US?

Gig: NO.

"SIR."

SIR.

CLAUDE, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE
TO SAY SOMETHING?

NO, SIR, YOUR HONOR.

NOW, I SEE THAT NONE OF THE
PARENTS RECOGNIZE THESE TOYS

OR THAT SPENDING MONEY
WAS EVER GIVEN

IN SUFFICIENT AMOUNTS
TO ALLOW FOR SUCH PURCHASES.

IS THAT CORRECT,
MR. MURPHY?

IT IS! I WOULDN'T SPOIL MY SON
WITH SUCH TRUCK, YOUR HONOR.

AND IF YOU LET ME HAVE THOSE
KIDS FOR THREE MINUTES,

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO GET
THIS THING OUT OF THEM.

A GOOD
OLD-FASHIONED SHELLACKING

HAS ALWAYS PUT THAT ONE
IN HIS PLACE.

THERE'S NO REASON WHY THE OTHERS
SHOULDN'T HAVE THE SAME.

NOW, JUST A MOMENT,
MR. MURPHY.

JUDGE, I KNOW
WHAT MEN ARE MADE OF.

I WENT OVER THE TOP A DOZEN
TIMES IN THE LAST BIG SHOW.

I HAD AN UNCLE
WHO FOUGHT IN CUBA,

AND MY WIFE'S GRANDFATHER SHOWED
THE INDIANS A THING OR TWO

OUT IN -- UH, WHAT WAS
THAT PLACE THAT THEY --

MR. MURPHY, YOUR BOY
IS NEITHER A GERMAN,

A SPANIARD,
NOR AN INDIAN.

JUDGE,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND --

NOW SIT DOWN, PLEASE.

[ GRUMBLES ]

NOW, MR. MURPHY,
I WANT TO POINT OUT

THAT WE HAVE NO ACTUAL COMPLAINT
AGAINST THESE BOYS.

WE ONLY SUSPECT
FROM THE EVIDENCE

THAT THE PARENTS ARE GUILTY
OF IMPROPER SUPERVISION,

AND, IN YOUR CASE, IT BEGINS
TO APPEAR WE'RE CORRECT.

MR. PIERCE...

YOUR AFFIDAVIT CONCERNING
THESE TOYS IS THE SAME?

YES, YOUR HONOR.

MRS. STEVENS,
YOU SAY YOU --

WELL, YOUR HONOR, I --

IF IT PLEASES THE COURT,
THIS LADY IS NOT MRS. STEVENS.

NO, I'M ROSE HAWLEY, HIS AUNT,
HIS MOTHER'S SISTER.

SHE COULDN'T BE HERE
THIS AFTERNOON, SO SHE --

WELL, SHE CALLED ME UP
AND ASKED

FOR ME TO COME HERE
AND TAKE HER PLACE.

YOU SEE, SHE WORKS
FROM 4:00 UNTIL 11:00

AT THE UNIVERSAL OUTFITTERS
ON 14th STREET.

I SEE.
WHAT ABOUT JAMES' FATHER?

COULDN'T HE HAVE --

Man: OH, YOUR HONOR.

OH, YES.
I REMEMBER NOW.

I'M SORRY, JAMES.

MISS HAWLEY, YOU REALIZE
THAT WHEN A BOY

CANNOT BE GIVEN ADEQUATE
SUPERVISION AT HOME,

HE'S USUALLY BETTER OFF
IN THE CARE OF --

NO ONE CAN SAY ANYTHING AGAINST
GIG'S MOTHER, YOUR HONOR.

SHE, WELL -- WELL, SHE STEPPED
IN-INTO QUITE A RAW DEAL,

AND I KNOW SHE LOVES HIM,

AND SHE'S --
SHE'S TRIED TO TEACH HIM

A-AND PROTECT HIM FROM --
WELL, FROM THINGS AROUND HIM.

I-I DON'T WANT HER TO WORK,
YOUR HONOR.

WELL, I'VE TRIED TO
GIVE HER MONEY, BUT
SHE JUST WON'T TAKE IT.

WHY IS THAT?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I-I GUESS SHE'S PROUD.

YES, THAT'S IT, YOUR HONOR.
IT'S HER PRIDE.

AS LONG AS YOU'RE
A WOMAN OF SOME MEANS,

WOULD YOU BE IN THE POSITION
TO HAVE GIG WITH YOU,

THAT IS UNTIL HIS MOTHER
CAN OBTAIN A POSITION

THAT WON'T CONFLICT
WITH HER PROPER GUARDIANSHIP?

WELL, I...
I COULD ARRANGE IT, YOUR HONOR.

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

645 PARK AVENUE.

WILL YOUR HUSBAND
CONSENT TO THIS?

I'M NOT MARRIED,
YOUR HONOR.

I SEE. YOU HAVE
AN INDEPENDENT INCOME.

YES, I HAVE.

AND WHAT SORT OF INCOME,
MISS HAWLEY?

WELL, YOUR HONOR --

YOUR HONOR, I SHOULD LIKE
TO VOUCH FOR MISS HAWLEY'S
PROPER GUARDIANSHIP.

I'VE KNOWN MISS HAWLEY
FOR SOME TIME,

QUITE A LONG TIME,
IN FACT,

AND IF SHE ARRANGES
TO TAKE GIG,

YOU CAN BE SURE HE'LL
NOT HAVE A BETTER HOME

OR WISER SUPERVISION
ANYWHERE.

THANK YOU, MR. PIERCE.

YOU MAY BE SEATED,
MISS HAWLEY.

GIG, WILL YOU COME UP HERE?

AND, ROBERT,
YOU TOO, PLEASE.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS
CALL YOU -- "BOB"?

NO.

"SIR."

NO, SIR.
THEY CALL ME "BUCK."

THEY CALL ME "LIMEY," SIR.

NOW, YOU KEEP
YOUR SEAT, CLAUDE.

I WANT TO TALK TO BUCK AND GIG
FOR A MOMENT.

YES, SIR.

BUCK, EH?
OOH, THAT'S A SWELL NAME.

THEY USED TO CALL ME "STINKY."
YOU KNOW WHY?

I GUESS SO.

WELL, THAT CERTAINLY LEVELED
MY CHIN THAT TIME.

NO, BUCK.

I ONCE TRIED SOME OF MY DAD'S
BAY RUM ON MY HAIR,

AND, WELL, I WAS APT ENOUGH
TO GO TO SCHOOL THAT WAY.

MM.

NOW, SEE HERE, FELLAS, I'VE GOT
A HUNCH ABOUT YOU TWO.

MY HUNCH
IS THAT YOU AND GIG

KNOW THE REAL STORY
BEHIND THESE TOYS

AND THAT CLAUDE JUST FOUND
HIMSELF TAGGING ALONG.

Holmes:
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, GIG?

YOU SAID IT WAS
YOUR HUNCH, SIR.

NOW, LOOK, FELLAS,
THE BEST FUN I GET

IS MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE BOYS
WHO COME HERE TO TALK WITH ME,

AND I MEAN
FRIENDSHIPS THAT LAST,

BUT SOMETIMES FRIENDSHIPS
GO THROUGH A LOT OF TROUBLE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

Claude: OH, YES, SIR.

THEY ALWAYS COME OUT ALL RIGHT
IF YOU PERSIST, SIR.

NOW, CLAUDE, YOU MUSTN'T SPEAK
UNTIL I ASK YOU TO.

YES, SIR.

NOW, SINCE YOU BOTH REFUSE
TO TELL THE SIMPLE TRUTH,

I COULDN'T VERY WELL PUT YOU
ON PROBATION, COULD I?

BECAUSE PROBATION DEPENDS
UPON YOUR WORD OF HONOR.

WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO TO US?

WELL, YOU WERE OUT THERE
AND HEARD

WHERE I HAD TO
SEND JOE WILSON?

YES.

WELL, NOW, IF YOU KEEP
REFUSING TO TELL THE TRUTH,

IT'LL ONLY PROVE TO ME
THAT YOU'RE STARTING

ON THE ROAD
TO THE SAME PLACE.

OH, I KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE
A MERRY OLD ROAD

WHILE YOU'RE ON IT.

YOU OUTSMART
A LOT OF PEOPLE,

YOU'RE BIG SHOTS
AND HAVE A LOT OF FUN.

YOU WON'T SQUEAL ON OTHERS.

BUT THEN, SUDDENLY,
YOU LAND INSIDE,

AND THEN ALL THE FUN'S GONE,
DO YOU KNOW THAT?

I AIN'T BEEN THERE YET.

NO GETTING OUT TO PLAY
AFTER SCHOOL,

BECAUSE IT'S SCHOOL ALL THE TIME
UP THERE.

NO GOING HOME TO SEE
YOUR FOLKS, SEEING YOUR MOTHER.

GIG, YOU LOVE YOUR MOTHER,
DON'T YOU?

OF COURSE I DO.

WHAT GUY DON'T LOVE
HIS OWN MOM?

WELL, THEN, ISN'T IT BEST
TO TALK THIS OVER?

I GOT NOTHING TO SAY,
I TELL YOU!

ME NEITHER.

I'M SORRY FOR THAT ATTITUDE.

YOU'RE TRYING TO LEAVE ME
ONLY ONE ALTERNATIVE.

NOW, IF YOU WON'T TELL
THE TRUTH, I'LL HAVE TO --

IF YOU PLEASE, SIR,
YOUR HONOR, DON'T,

BECAUSE, YOU SEE,
I DIDN'T TAG ALONG.

I PLANNED
THE WHOLE ROBBERY, SIR.

ROBBERY, CLAUDE?

YES, SIR.

YOU SEE, GIG NEEDED $80,
AND, WELL,

I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS RIGHT
FOR US TO STEAL TIRES

WHEN I KNEW A PERFECTLY GOOD
HOUSE WE COULD ROB ALL AT ONCE.

WHAT HOUSE DID YOU ROB?

WHY, MY OWN HOUSE, SIR.

YOUR OWN HOUSE?

YES, SIR. WELL, MY MOTHER'S --
26 EAST 68th STREET, SIR.

SHE'S AWAY IN FLORIDA,
BUT SHE LEFT US THE KEYS.

AND, WELL, THOSE ARE
MY OWN TOYS, SIR.

I-I HAVEN'T TOLD GIG AND BUCK
UNTIL NOW, SIR.

AND WHY HAVEN'T YOU
TOLD THEM?

WELL, THERE WAS
THE $80 NEEDED,

AND I SUPPOSE I JUST WANTED
TO BE RAFFLES, THAT'S ALL.

RAFFLES, HMM? I SEE.

YES, SIR, BUT RAFFLES
IN A RIGHT WAY.

MR. PIERCE, THIS IS ALL
QUITE POSSIBLE, I TAKE IT?

OH, MOST PROBABLY,
YOUR HONOR.

IF YOU WISH,
I CAN CALL THE CARETAKER,

AND HE CAN SHOW
THE HOUSE INVENTORY.

BUT, DAD,
THIS IS THE TRUTH.

YOUR HONOR,
YOU DO BELIEVE?

THE COURT TAKES YOUR WORD
COMPLETELY, CLAUDE.

THEN MAY WE GO NOW, SIR?

NO.

JUST WAIT A MOMENT NOW.

GIG, DO YOU MIND TELLING ME
WHAT YOU DID WITH THE $80?

WELL, YOU DON'T MIND NOW,
DO YOU?

I DON'T MIND TELLING ANYBODY.

I DON'T CARE HOW I WAS FOOLED
INTO GETTING IT, EITHER.

I BOUGHT A TOMBSTONE WITH IT
FOR MY OLD MAN.

AND YOU CAN'T TAKE IT
AWAY FROM HIM 'CAUSE
IT'S BOUGHT AND PAID FOR.

WELL, YOUR HONOR, NOW THAT
THE BARRAGE HAS LIFTED

AND WE'VE GAINED
OUR LITTLE OBJECTIVE,

I RECKON YOU WON'T BE
NEEDING US ANYMORE.

SIT DOWN, MR. MURPHY.

GIG, BUCK...

NOW, BOTH OF YOU FELLAS KNEW
YOU WERE STEALING SOMETHING

THAT DIDN'T BELONG
TO YOU OR CLAUDE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT?

YES, SIR.

WELL, I'M GLAD TO SEE
THE TRUTH IN YOU.

BUT JUST TO REMIND YOU
HOW IMPORTANT IT IS,

I'M GOING TO PUT YOU BOTH
ON PROBATION FOR SIX MONTHS,

AND I WANT THAT TO MEAN
SIMPLY THIS AND ONLY THIS --

YOU'RE TO COME TO THE PROBATION
OFFICER ONCE A MONTH

AND SAY TO HIM,
"I'M DOING GREAT,

AND I'M NEVER GOING TO
GET INTO TROUBLE AGAIN."

IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

YES, SIR.

GOOD. CASE DISMISSED.

NOW I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO THESE
THREE BOYS ALONE, PLEASE.

SIT DOWN, FELLAS.

YOU FELLAS PLAY FOOTBALL,
DON'T YOU?

YEAH.

SURE.

WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE
THE QUARTERBACK'S SIGNALS,

DO YOU WALK OUT ON HIM?

THE POINT IS, FELLAS,

THAT TIMES WHEN PARENTS
DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND,

JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND
AT ALL,

NOW, THAT'S THE TIME
I WANT YOU FELLAS TO
SHOW ME HOW TOUGH YOU ARE.

HOW?

BY PULLING THE SWITCH ON THEM
AND DOING EXACTLY AS THEY SAY.

THAT'S HOW.

NOW, THAT'S WHAT MAKES A FELLA
TOUGH, BEING ABLE TO TAKE IT.

WHY, YOU WOULDN'T
WANT ANYBODY

TO CALL YOU "LITTLE DEVIL,"
WOULD YOU?

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY
ABOUT BAD LITTLE SISSIES

WHO ACT NAUGHTY WHEN
THEY CAN'T HAVE THEIR OWN WAY.

BY THE WAY, THE DEVIL
IS A WEAK SISSY. YOU
KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?

THE DEVIL?

SURE, BECAUSE HE WAS
AN ANGEL ONCE.

AN ANGEL?

YEAH, AND AN ANGEL HAS TO BE
TOUGH IN ORDER TO DO HIS JOB,

AND THE DEVIL
COULDN'T BE TOUGH ENOUGH,

SO THEY THREW HIM OUT,

AND HE'S BEEN HIDING
DOWN BELOW EVER SINCE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK
THE DEVIL'S A SISSY.

WELL, GOODBYE, GIG.

GOODBYE, SIR.

BUCK.

YES, SIR.

GOODBYE, CLAUDE.

GOODBYE, SIR.

NOW, MY FRIENDS,
THINK IT OVER, WILL YOU?

WHAT A PECULIAR, NICE GENTLEMAN
FOR A JUDGE.

HAPPEN WE MEET, NEXT TIME

YOU'LL REALLY GET YOUR EARS
KNOCKED DOWN.

HUH?

RAFFLES, HUH?

WHO ARE YOU TRYING
TO MAKE A SAP OUT OF?

NOW, LISTEN.
GET THIS INTO YOUR DOME, DOPE.

FROM NOW ON,
YOU'RE OUT OF THE GANG.

SEE, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW
YOU'RE DEAD.

YOU CAN PLAY A NICE, LONG GAME
OF HOT HANDS ALL BY YOURSELF.

COME ON.

HIYA, BUCK.

HI, BUCK.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

OH, I WAS WASHING THE DISHES,

AND I DROPPED THE SOUP THING
AND WOKE UP MY OLD MAN.

MY OLD MAN SLAPS IN ANY PLACE
EXCEPT ON THE EAR.

HE SAYS IT MAKES YOU DEAF.

HE CAN'T MAKE ME DEAF.

HE'S STILL BURNT UP
ABOUT THE TOYS, HUH?

OH, HE'S STEAMING 'CAUSE
THE JUDGE CRAWLED UP HIS BACK.

TOMORROW'S SATURDAY,
AIN'T IT?

SURE.

TOMORROW'S SATURDAY,
AIN'T IT, GIG?

I GUESS SO.

I MEAN, IT'S THE FIRST SATURDAY
BUCK AND YOU

HAVE GOT TO REPORT TO THE
PROBATION OFFICER, AIN'T IT?

MAYBE IT IS,
AND MAYBE IT AIN'T.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
IT AIN'T?

YOU DON'T THINK
I'M GONNA REPORT, DO YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE.

Bugs:
WHERE YOU GONNA GO?

OUT WEST FIRST TO SEE THE
SKELETONS IN DEATH VALLEY.

AFRICA, MAYBE.

Six-Toes:
WHEN ARE YOU GOING?

NO, SIR --
NO GUY NAMED PAUL KRUMPP

IS GONNA HANG AROUND MY HOUSE
AND CALL ME HIS BOY.

Bugs:
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GO?

TONIGHT. TONIGHT! THAT'S WHEN.
TONIGHT AFTER SUPPER.

YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S WHEN
WE'RE GOING -- TONIGHT.

TONIGHT, AFTER SUPPER.

I'M TELLING YOU, AIN'T I?

SURE.

SAY, I-I WANT TO STOP BY
THE CEMETERY FIRST AND SEE IT.

IT'S THERE NOW,
AND I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET.

YEAH, YEAH, SURE.
WE'LL STOP ON THE WAY.

TO GO TO AFRICA,
YOU GOT TO HAVE GUNS.

YOU GOT TO HAVE ONE
OF THOSE FUNNY-LOOKING HATS

WITH A TOWEL
HANGING DOWN THE BACK.

WE'LL GET GUNS! WE'LL
GET ONE OF THOSE HATS
IF WE NEED THEM, TOO.

Claude: HELLO, FELLOWS.

I STOPPED BY AFTER SCHOOL
AND GOT THIS CRACKERJACK.

OH, UH, WANT SOME?

NO!

GIG?

NAH.

SIX-TOES?

YEAH.

AND IT HAD THIS WHISTLE IN IT
AS THE PRIZE.

SEE?

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

EVER SEE A HEEL
TALKING TO ITSELF?

YEAH.

HAPPEN WE COME BACK IN 50 YEARS,
HE MIGHT BE GONE.

COME ON.

[ SNEEZES ]

WHAT DID THEY MEAN BY THAT?

THEY'RE RUNNING AWAY,
TO AFRICA, MAYBE.

Y-YOU MEAN THEY'RE
NOT GOING TO REPORT

TO THE PROBATION OFFICER
TOMORROW?

NO, THEY'RE BEATING IT TONIGHT,
RIGHT AFTER SUPPER.

THEY'RE GONNA STOP BY
THE CEMETERY FIRST, THOUGH,

SO GIG CAN SEE
HIS OLD MAN'S TOMBSTONE.

BOY, THIS IS GOOD, HUH?

[ SNEEZES ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WELL, HELLO, THERE!

IT MIGHT BE A CHRISTMAS TURKEY,
BUT IT ISN'T HIS TOYS.

COME RIGHT IN!

GRAND OF YOU TO STOP BY!
HEY, WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?

I BROUGHT BACK
THE DAMAGING EVIDENCE.

OH, YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE DONE THAT.

OH, BUT I SHOULD. OH, BUT,
PLEASE, DON'T TELL GIG ABOUT IT.

HE'LL BE OFF OF ME
FOR BUTTING IN.

SHALL I WAIT, MADAM?

OH, YES, YES.
I'M GOING RIGHT OUT.

NO, NO. YOU'LL DO
NOTHING OF THE SORT.

HEY, DRIVER.
HOW MUCH IS IT?

OH, WAIT. IT'S MY TAXI.

NO, NO. IT'S MY SURPRISE
AND GOOD FORTUNE.

WELL, IT'S ONLY
80 CENTS FOR ME.

AND A COUPLE OF BEERS
TO GROW ON, EH?

THANK YOU, MISTER!

HERE, GIVE ME THE UMBRELLA.
THAT'S FINE.

NOW, COME ON, TAKE OFF
YOUR HAT AND COAT.

OKAY.

YES.
I STILL HAVE A BIT OF TEA.

OR SOMETHING STRONGER
IF YOU'D LIKE.

OH, NO.
TEA WOULD BE GRAND.

YEAH?
OH, THAT'S FINE.

I'LL DO SOMETHING
ABOUT BOILING WATER.

CLAUDE OUGHT TO BE HERE
ANY MINUTE.

AN UNTIDY PLACE, BUT JUST
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME, HUH?

HOPE YOU CAN FIND
YOUR WAY ABOUT.

LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT RAIN,
DOESN'T IT?

[ CHUCKLES ]
YES, IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY.

SAY, WHAT'S ALL THIS?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE AN ARCHITECT.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE,

BUT THANK HEAVENS
THERE'S AN ART DEALER IN TOWN

SILLY ENOUGH TO WANT
TO BUY MY LITHOGRAPHS,

AND IT SEEMS
CLAUDE WANTS A BICYCLE.

OH, I SEE.

IT'S FUN, THOUGH,
EVERY NOW AND THEN.

SAY, THIS IS SWELL.

PRETTY HARD TO DO,
TOO, HMM?

I GET A KICK OUT OF IT.

REALLY?

LITHOGRAPHS, ARCHITECTURE...

PRETTY PICTURES, THOUGHTS.

I'VE BEEN A LONG WAY
FROM THINGS LIKE THAT.

THAT SOUNDED A LITTLE
MELODRAMATIC, DIDN'T IT?

OH, BUT -- BUT IF YOU THINK
I'M GOING TO WAIL, FORGET IT.

I GAVE UP WAILING
WHEN I WAS 7.

GOOD. CLAUDE WILL GET A GREAT
KICK OUT OF SEEING YOU HERE.

HE THINKS YOU'RE ABOUT TOP.

AHH.
NOW, THERE IS A BOY FOR YOU.

I HOPE HE CAN RE-ESTABLISH
HIMSELF WITH GIG AND BUCK.

DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT YOU'RE NOT WORRIED

ABOUT HIS BEING WITH THOSE
TWO LITTLE HOODLUMS?

WHY, I'M SELFISH ABOUT
THOSE TWO LITTLE HOODLUMS.

THAT TRIO CAN GIVE
A LOT TO EACH OTHER.

YEAH, YOU WOULD SAY
SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

AND I KNOW IT DOES THE KIDS GOOD
TO BE WITH CLAUDE.

WELL, PARK AVENUE'S NOT SO FAR
AWAY THAT, UH -- THAT, UH --

CLAUDE CAN COME DOWN

AND, UM, GET SOME BENEFIT
FROM THEM -- FROM THEM.

WELL, I-I'M NOT
ON PARK AVENUE ANYMORE.

NO?

NO. I'VE --
I'VE TAKEN A LITTLE --

LITTLE ROOM ON 4th STREET,

AND I'M HAPPIER THAN A HORNET
ON HALLOWEEN.

WELL, I HOPE THE ROOM IS BIG
ENOUGH TO TURN CARTWHEELS IN.

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T COME DOWN
HERE TODAY TO BRING THOSE TOYS.

I CAME DOWN HERE
TO TELL YOU

HOW SWELL YOU WERE
THE OTHER DAY IN COURT.

IT ALL SORT OF STUCK
IN MY THROAT A LITTLE

BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID
THAT YOU'D SORT OF HOP IN

WITH ASKING
THE STORY OF MY LIFE

AND BE VERY SAD
AND SYMPATHETIC

ABOUT WHAT BAD LITTLE GIRLS
ARE MADE OF,

BUT YOU DIDN'T DO THAT,
AND I LIKE YOU FOR IT.

YOU LIKE ME?

YES.

THAT'S VERY STRANGE.

WHY?

OHH, I WAS JUST THINKING
OF SOMETHING I SAID

IN THIS VERY ROOM.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

[ SNEEZES ]

Jay: HELLO, SON!
LOOK WHO'S OUR VISITOR!

OH, HELLO.
HELLO, MISS HAWLEY.

HELLO, HALFBACK.

SHE BROUGHT YOUR TOYS
BACK FOR YOU. LOOK.

WHAT? OH, UH, THANKS.
THANKS SO MUCH, MISS HAWLEY.

CLAUDE, I WOULDN'T TELL
THE BOYS ABOUT IT.

DAD, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF THE BOYS DIDN'T REPORT

TO THEIR
PROBATION OFFICERS?

WELL, THEY'D COME AND FIND THEM
AND MAKE THEM REPORT.

MM-HMM.

[ SNEEZES ]

HEY, YOUR FEET
ARE SOPPING WET.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR RUBBERS?

OH, I-I LEFT THEM
AT SCHOOL, I IMAGINE.

YEAH. DO YOU FEEL
OFF YOUR FEET, OLD MAN?

I'M AFRAID
HE'S GOT A FEVER.

NO, DAD. I'M ALL RIGHT.
I'VE JUST BEEN RUNNING.

LOOK HERE. YOU'VE GOT THE
BEGINNING OF SOME NICE COLD BUG.

COME ON. INTO BED WITH YOU,
AND WE'LL WHIP THIS THING.

BUT HE NEEDS SOMETHING
FOR HIS CHEST.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
UH, IN THE BATHROOM.

MEDICINE CHEST. THERE'S SOME
OF THAT MUSTARD THINGAMABOB.

WOULD YOU MIND?

BUT, DAD,
MISS HAWLEY'S --

OH, MISS HAWLEY
WILL STAY PUT FROM IT.

HERE.
OFF WITH THOSE TROUSERS.

ARE YOU SURE IT'S HERE?

OH!
OH, IT'S TOOTHPASTE.

TOOTHPASTE? IT'S A TUBE
OF CHROME-YELLOW PAINT.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER
THE PLACE FOR IT.

AH, HERE WE ARE.

OH, GOOD!

AHA. I DON'T KNOW
WHERE THE SCISSORS ARE.

OH, WELL,
NOW I'LL SHOW YOU

WHY YOU SAVE
YOUR OLD RAZOR BLADES.

[ CHUCKLES ]

COME ON, NOW, COVER UP,
OR YOU'LL GET MORE COLD.

YOUR MOTHER WOULD
RAISE THE DEUCE OF ME

IF SHE THOUGHT
I WASN'T KEEPING YOU FIT.

DAD, DO I HAVE TO
GO BACK WITH MOTHER?

WHY, OF COURSE,
AT THE END OF SIX MONTHS.

WHY CAN'T I STAY HERE
WITH YOU?

WELL, BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER
LOVES YOU

AND WANTS YOU WITH HER,
SAME AS I DO, HMM?

YOU LOVE YOUR MOTHER, TOO,
DON'T YOU?

OH, OF COURSE, BUT IF WE'RE
ALWAYS ON BOATS OR IN EUROPE,

I DON'T GET A CHANCE
TO GET TO KNOW BOYS

LIKE BUCK AND GIG
AND SIX-TOES.

WHY, YOU'LL BE BACK HERE AGAIN
AT THE END OF SIX MONTHS.

OH, I KNOW, BUT, DAD, COULDN'T
I HIDE WHEN THE TIME CAME,

AND YOU COULD SAY
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS?

WELL, NOW,
THAT WOULD FIX THINGS.

LISTEN, THOUGH, SON --

WE DON'T SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS
BY RUNNING AWAY.

WE STAY AND FACE THEM.

DO YOU THINK YOU'D BE HAPPY IF
YOU MADE YOUR MOTHER UNHAPPY?

SHE WOULD BE, YOU KNOW?
WOULD YOU?

OH, NO, SIR.

THAT'S THE THING
TO REMEMBER.

YOU'LL NEVER FIND
ANY HAPPINESS

BY RUNNING AWAY FROM THE THINGS
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

BUT I --

Rose: OH, HERE YOU ARE.
MADE TO MEASURE.

AH, EXCELLENT TAILORING, HMM?

WHAT HE NEEDS
IS SOME SUPPER.

OH, YES.

WE WERE GOING
OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT.

WELL, I'LL GO DOWN TO THE CORNER
AND GET SOME HOT BROTH.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

DAD!

YES?

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF THEY RAN AWAY?

WHO?

GIG AND BUCK.

SAY, YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T
PUT IT PAST THEM.

YEAH,
WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?

OH, NOTHING. NOTHING.

I WAS JUST WONDERING
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THEY DID.

I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.

YOU HEARD WHAT THE JUDGE SAID.
THEY'D BE SENT TO REFORM SCHOOL.

THIS IS SWELL OF YOU.
HERE.

OH, NO. THIS IS ON ME.

NO, NOT A CHANCE.

YOU'VE PLAYED LADY BOUNTIFUL
LONG ENOUGH.

NOW, LISTEN, YOU STAY HERE
AND MIND YOUR PATIENT.

I'VE GOT A LOOSE, LONELY QUARTER
JUST DYING FOR COMPANY.

NO, NONSENSE.
I WOULDN'T LET YOU DO THAT.

LOOK, DAD, WHY DON'T YOU
GO ALONG WITH MS. HAWLEY

AND SEE THAT SHE MINDS YOU?

THAT'S A JOLLY GOOD IDEA.

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD STAY
AND HOLD THE FORT?

OF COURSE.
I'M ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, MR. FIX-IT.

HALF A MINUTE.

Claude: DAD.

YES?

WHAT DID YOU USED TO THINK ABOUT
WHEN YOU WENT OVER THE TOP?

OH, NOTHING MUCH.
I JUST COUNTED UP TO 100.

"1, 2, 3, 4..."
LIKE THAT.

WHY?

OH, I KNEW IF I REACHED 100,
I WAS ALL RIGHT. WHY?

OH, NOTHING.
I WAS JUST WONDERING.

WELL, THAT WON'T HURT ANYBODY,
WILL IT?

ANYWAY, YOU DO YOUR WONDERING
UNDERNEATH THESE COVERS.

THERE YOU ARE.
I WON'T BE FIVE MINUTES.

HAVE MY COAT ON
IN A JIFFY.

Rose: YOU KNOW, I'M QUITE FOND
OF THAT HALFBACK OF YOURS.

AH, YES, YES.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...

9, 10, 11, 12, 13...

14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19...

[ SNEEZES ]

Gig: THIS IS IT.

GEE, IT'S -- IT'S KIND
OF LITTLE, AIN'T IT?

NO. IT'S BIGGER
THAN SOME OF THEM.

GOSH.
I FORGOT THE FLOWERS.

HMM.
HE WOULDN'T CARE.

HELLO, FELLOWS.

"R.I.P."
I WONDER WHAT THAT MEANS.

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE IT'S THE OLD GUY'S
INITIALS THAT MADE IT.

THAT MEANS
"REST IN PEACE."

LISTEN, GIG AND BUCK,
PLEASE LET ME TALK TO YOU.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO,
BUT, TRULY, FELLAS, YOU MUSTN'T.

YOU MUSTN'T RUN AWAY. THEY'LL
FIND YOU WHEREVER YOU GO.

AND THEY'LL PUT YOU
IN REFORM SCHOOL,

AND YOU DON'T WANT TO GO
TO REFORM SCHOOL, DO YOU?

PLEASE LISTEN, FELLOWS.

OH, COME ON.

LISTEN, GIG, BUCK.

I DON'T BLAME YOU
FOR BEING ANGRY AT ME.

I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU
ONE THING, PLEASE.

YOU CAN'T SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS
BY RUNNING AWAY.

YOU'VE GOT TO FACE THEM.

YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY
TRYING TO RUN AWAY

FROM THE THINGS
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

OH, GO ON AND BEAT IT,
WILL YOU?

[ GRUNTS ]

LISTEN, GIG AND BUCK,
IF YOU RUN AWAY,

PEOPLE WILL THINK
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID,

AND YOU AREN'T AFRAID,
ARE YOU?

AW, DRY UP, WILL YOU?

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]

COME ON, YOU KIDS.
HURRY UP.

COME ON. YEAH, YOU GET IN HERE.
HURRY UP.

COME ON, KID.

THANK YOU, MADAM.
THIS IS VERY NICE OF YOU.

WHERE YOU KIDS GOING?

WE'RE TAKING
A LITTLE TRIP.

ON YOUR OWN, MAYBE, HUH?

YEAH, MAYBE.

ATTABOY. NEVER TELL THEM WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA DO, EH, WILLIE?

YEAH.

HE AIN'T
WITH US, THOUGH.

NO. WE CAN GET ALONG
WITHOUT HIM.

THAT IS
IF YOU'RE CROWDED.

OH, NO. WE'RE ONLY TOO GLAD
TO TAKE THE THREE OF YOU.

THERE IT IS.

NOW, YOU KIDS KEEP YOUR FACE
SHUT, OR ELSE, YOU UNDERSTAND?

YEAH. WE DON'T WANT
TO GET BLAMED FOR YOU
KIDS RUNNING AWAY.

Buck: YEAH, YEAH, SURE.

[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]

DIDN'T HAPPEN TO SEE
ANYTHING OF THREE FELLAS

TEARING UP THIS WAY
IN A GREEN ROADSTER, DID YOU?

WELL, EVERYTHING'S BEEN
PASSING US PRETTY FAST.

MA ALWAYS MAKES US SLOW DOWN
WHEN THE KIDS ARE IN THE CAR.

THAT KEEPS US ON THE SIDE
OF YOU FELLAS.

OKAY.

WHAT DID THOSE MEN
STOP US FOR?

Buck: GEE, MAYBE
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR US.

IT'S OKAY NOW.
STOP AT THE NEXT JOINT.

WHERE WE GOING?

WE'RE GONNA GET
SOMETHING TO EAT.

YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EAT,
DON'T YOU?

AND HOW!

Gig: I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE WE'D
BETTER JUST KEEP ON GOING.

OH, NO.
YOU KIDS STICK WITH US.

WE'LL GET
ALONG NICE TOGETHER.

SURE. COME ON, GIG.

HEY, THERE'S A JOINT
RIGHT THERE.

[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]

YEAH, THIS IS THE JOINT.
BOY, AM I HUNGRY. COME ON.

[ French accent ] AH.
GOOD EVENING. MADAME, GENTLEMEN.

WE WANT SOME CHOW IN A HURRY.
SIT DOWN, KIDS.

YEAH, ONE BIG PLATE
ALL AROUND

OF GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
ITALIAN SPAGHETTI.

PARDON, I AM NOT AN ITALIAN.
I AM FRENCH.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE.
WE WANT SOME SPAGHETTI.

BUT, MONSIEUR, WE HAVE
NO ITALIAN SPAGHETTI.

WE HAVE FRENCH NOODLES.

FRENCH, ITALIAN,
NOODLE, SPAGHETTI -- SAME.

WE WANT --

HEY, YOU, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH BEING AN ITALIAN?!

OKAY.

WELL, THE MUG SAID --

I SAID "OKAY."
SIX ALL AROUND.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE ALL ALONE IN THERE,
AREN'T YOU?

IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE.
I AM THE PROPRIETOR.

I SAID
"ARE YOU ALONE IN THERE?"

I SAY I AM ALONE.
IT DON'T MAKE NO DIFFERENCE.

OKAY, VIOLET.

FRENCH FOOD IS VERY NICE
BUT QUITE RICH.

YEAH?

MM-HMM.

SAY, ARE YOU PALS
WITH THESE TWO KIDS?

OH, YES.

HE IS NOT. HE'S A LITTLE
SQUEALER. THAT'S WHAT.

HIM AND ME ARE PALS, THOUGH.
YOU KNOW WHO HIS OLD MAN WAS?

WHO?

RED STEVENS. THAT'S WHO.
GUESS YOU HEARD OF HIM.

OH, YOU MEAN THAT
SMALL-TIME SCREWBALL

THEY JUST FINISHED FRYING UP
IN OSNEY?

SHUT UP!
DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM, KID.

Y-YOU BETTER MAKE HIM
TAKE BACK WHAT HE SAID.

OH, HE'S JUST CRAZY.
THAT'S ALL.

YOU MEAN THE OTHER GUY,

THE ONE THAT SQUEALED ON RED,
DON'T YOU?

YEAH.

YOU WORRY ABOUT
I AM ALONE, EH?

FRENCH NOODLE.

YEAH.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, KID?

CLAUDE. CLAUDE PIERCE.

CLAUDE PIERCE, EH?

YOUR FAMILY GOT A LOT
OF MONEY, CLAUDE?

OH, NO, SIR.
MY FATHER'S QUITE POOR.

AW, GO ON --
MY OLD LADY SAYS

YOUR OLD LADY'S
GOT OVER A MILLION BUCKS,

AND MY OLD MAN SAYS
HIS BLOOD'S BLUE, TOO.

SAY, HOW WOULD YOU THREE KIDS
LIKE TO STAY WITH US

AND BE FRIENDS
AND RIDE MAYBE TO DETROIT?

OH, GEE, THAT'D BE SWELL!

WELL, GOSH, SIR,
I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK I'D LIKE TO GO
VERY MUCH.

MAY I HAVE A DIFFERENT KIND
OF SAUCE ON THIS, PLEASE?

SURE, KID.

HEY, COME HERE. FRENCHY!
WHATEVER THEY CALL YOU.

SOME KIND OF SAUCE,
THE KID WANTS.

[ SPEAKING FRENCH ]

WHAT'S HE SAYING TO YOU?

[ CHUCKLES ]
WELL, I-IT'S THE SAUCE.

I DO NOT QUITE UNDERSTAND.

UH, MY FRENCH IS A BIT RUSTY,
I IMAGINE.

IT'S A SPECIAL KIND
OF MEAT SAUCE THEY HAVE.

[ SPEAKING FRENCH ]

CAN YOU
UNDERSTAND THAT?

[ SPEAKS FRENCH ]

I SHALL SEE WHAT I HAVE, EH?

YOU'LL LIKE THE SAUCE
IF HE MAKES IT ALL RIGHT.

HERE,
YOU'RE HURTING MY ARM.

OKAY, KID.

BUT DON'T TALK ANY MORE
OF THAT FRENCH AROUND ME.

IT AIN'T POLITE.
UNDERSTAND?

CERTAINLY NOT,
IF YOU DON'T WISH ME TO.

THIS KID'S OKAY.

[ SNEEZES ]

YOU GOT A COLD,
CLAUDE?

OH, YES, SIR,
BUT I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

TRAVEL IS GOOD FOR THE HEALTH,
THEY SAY.

SAY, LISTEN, LIMEY.

WELL, I, UM -- I THINK
WE'D BETTER BE GOING.

SIT DOWN.

WHY? 'CAUSE WE KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TRYING TO DO TO US?

LISTEN, LIMEY --

ALL RIGHT,
NOW, YOU GET THIS.

ONE MORE CRACK OUT OF YOU
ABOUT THAT KID,

AND YOU'RE GONNA
GET WORSE THAN THAT.

YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU'RE GONNA
GET WORSE THAN THAT.

AND YOU'RE RIDING ALONG WITH US
AND KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

AND THAT GOES
FOR YOU, TOO.

HEY, WHERE IS THAT GUY?
HEY, FRENCHY!

HE'S NOT HERE!
COME ON! GRAB THEM UP!

B-BUT THE SAUCE I ORDERED,
WHAT ABOUT THAT?

THAT'S JUST WHAT
I WAS THINKING ABOUT.

[ POLICE SIREN WAILS ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

[ GUNSHOTS ]

[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ COUGHS ] GEE!

I SAY!
THAT WAS A TIGHT --

[ SNEEZES ]

SAY, LISTEN, DID YOU KNOW
THE OLD LADY WAS A MAN?

YEAH. I WONDER HOW
THE COPS GOT IN THERE?

I-I TOLD THE PROPRIETOR.

YOU TOLD THE PROPRIETOR?

UH-HUH,
WHEN I SPOKE FRENCH.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO
YELL COPPER FOR?

WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOU
OUT OF THERE

WITHOUT
CALLING THE COPS.

[ SNEEZES ]

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

OH, NOTHING.
I-I JUST FEEL --

OH, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

[ BELL DINGING ]

HEY, YOU DARN FOOL,
GET OUT OF THERE!

WHAT?!

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO,
GET YOURSELF KILLED?

HEY, LIMEY, WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I'M SORRY TO HAVE GOTTEN YOU
INTO THIS MESS, FELLOWS.

USUALLY -- STUPID OF ME.

H-HE ACTS KIND OF FUNNY,
DON'T HE?

YEAH. T-THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

WHAT'S HE COUNTING FOR?

HEY, LIMEY, WHAT ARE
YOU COUNTING FOR?

M-MAYBE THAT'S HOW
THEY TRY AND CURE THEMSELVES

WHEN THEY'RE SICK IN ENGLAND.

HEY, HEY, HEY. MAYBE WE'D
BETTER GET HIM TO A DOCTOR.

COME ON. LET'S CARRY HIM.

COME ON.
YOU'RE RAFFLES, AIN'T YOU?

RAFFLES NEVER LET NOTHING
GET HIM DOWN.

GEE. HE'S HEAVIER
THAN I THOUGHT HE WAS.

HERE. HOLD HIM A MINUTE.

OKAY.

[ DOORBELL BUZZES ]

THE MAN AT THE FREIGHT YARD
SAID YOU WAS A DOCTOR.

WELL, YES, I AM.
BRING HIM IN, BOYS.

BRING HIM IN.
WE'LL SEE WHAT WE...

[ SIREN WAILS ]

Doctor: AND, YOU SEE,
THIS MASS HERE

SHOWS A LOW-GRADE INFECTION,

BUT IT'S PNEUMONIA,
NEVERTHELESS, AND SERIOUS.

Jay: IS THERE
ANYTHING ELSE HE NEEDS?

NOTHING BUT TO LEAVE HIM HERE
ABSOLUTELY UNDISTURBED.

LOTS OF AIR
AND PLENTY OF FRESH BLANKETS.

NATURE DOES
MOST OF THE REST.

Claude: 65, 66...

67, 68, 69...

KEEP SAYING "99," SON.
KEEP SAYING "99."

NO, NO.
70, 71, 72...

JUST SAY "99," OLD BOY.
YOU GOT AS FAR AS THAT.

99, 99...

99, 99.

HE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT,
AIN'T HE?

SURE. SURE HE IS, GIG.

NOW, LISTEN, YOU TWO
TAKE A TAXI AND GO ON HOME.

AND WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'VE BOTH GOT SOMETHING
IMPORTANT TO DO THIS
AFTERNOON, HAVEN'T YOU?

YEAH, WE'LL REPORT.

WE'LL REPORT.

ALL RIGHT. THAT'S THE STUFF.
NOW, HURRY UP HOME.

Hilda: MY OWN CHILD!

ARE YOU REALLY GOING
TO TRY TO TELL ME HOW
TO TAKE CARE OF HIM?

BUT, MRS. PIERCE --

OH, REALLY?
THIS IS BARBARIC!

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

THEY'RE TRYING TO TELL ME HOW
TO TAKE CARE OF MY OWN CHILD!

WHERE IS HE?

IN HERE.

QUIET. PLEASE.

OH, CLAUDE,
MY DARLING, MY BABY.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU,
MY BABY?

HILDA, PLEASE.

I KNEW I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE LEFT HIM WITH YOU,

AND I WANT HIM TAKEN OUT OF
THIS TERRIBLE PLACE AT ONCE.

HOW DID HE GET HERE?

IT MIGHT BE VERY SERIOUS
IF HE'S MOVED.

I'LL TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY
FROM NOW ON.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
YOU'RE MOTHER'S BOY.

I'M SORRY, HILDA.
YOU CAN'T. I WON'T ALLOW IT.

I CAN'T PERMIT IT, EITHER,
MRS. PIERCE.

WELL, IN THAT CASE,
I SHALL SEE MY ATTORNEYS.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DARLING.

YOUR MOTHER
WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU.

SHE'LL SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT
EXPERIMENTED UPON ANY LONGER.

HE'S ASLEEP AGAIN --
THE BROMIDE.

WE CAN LEAVE HIM NOW.

I'LL GO AND GET
A CUP OF COFFEE.

I'LL LEAVE HIM
IN YOUR HANDS, DOCTOR.

HE'S MY BOY, TOO,
YOU KNOW.

I KNOW HE'LL DO HIS BEST.
WE'LL DO OURS.

HE LOOKS GOOD TO ME.

SO LONG, OLD MAN.

SO LONG, DOCTOR.

DON'T BE UPSET, PIERCE.
SHE LOVES HIM.

OF COURSE SHE DOES.
HER WAY'S AS HONEST AS MINE.

JUST A MOTHER'S
MOMENTARY REACTION.

NICE GOING, PIERCE.

HERE HE IS.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
NOW, YOU COME ALONG.

YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

HERE, GIVE ME
THE COAT QUICKLY, PLEASE.

Doctor: ADMINISTER THE GLUCOSE
INTRAVENOUSLY AS ORDERED.

REPORT PULSE AND RESPIRATION
IN AN HOUR.

NEEDLE DRAINAGE
IS QUITE PROBABLE.

[ HILDA CRYING ]

THAT BOY SHOULD NEVER
HAVE BEEN MOVED.

MY BABY.

OH, JAY!
WHAT HAVE I DONE?

SHH, HONEY. SHH.

YOU'VE GOT TO
BE QUIET IN HERE.

COME ON.
LET'S GO OUTSIDE.

[ SOBBING ]

HOW IS HE, MR. PIERCE?

YOU'VE COME BACK
TOO SOON, FELLAS.
WE DON'T KNOW YET.

OH, HILDA,
THESE ARE CLAUDE'S FRIENDS,

GIG STEVENS
AND BUCK MURPHY.

CLAUDE'S MOTHER, BOYS.

HOW DO YOU DO?

WE'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOU ALONE
A MINUTE, MR. PIERCE.

WELL, SURE.

HE'S AWFUL SICK, AIN'T HE?

Jay: YEAH, AWFUL SICK.

PAPA ALWAYS SAID
HIS BLOOD WAS BLUE,

BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT.

I-I SAID
HE WAS JUST LIKE US,

AND, WELL,
IF HE NEEDS ANY BLOOD,

YOU KNOW HOW THEY DO IT.

WE'D LIKE TO GIVE HIM OURS
IF YOU THINK IT'S ANY GOOD.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL
BE NECESSARY, FELLAS,

BUT IF IT IS...

I GUESS YOUR BLOOD'S
JUST ABOUT RIGHT.

MR. PIERCE, HIS PULSE
HAS DROPPED SUDDENLY.

I THINK YOU'D BETTER COME IN.

[ GASPS ]
OH, NO, NO, I CAN'T.

YOU'VE GOT TO.

I CAN'T.

ARE THESE TWO BOYS
GIG AND BUCK?

YES.

THEY'VE BEEN ON HIS MIND.

THEY -- LISTEN, FELLAS,
I'LL BE VERY GRATEFUL

IF YOU'D SAY
SOMETHING TO HIM.

[ GASPS ]

DOCTOR, LOOK AFTER HER,
WILL YOU?

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

COME ON.

W-WHAT WILL WE SAY,
MR. PIERCE?

ANYTHING.
ANYTHING YOU FEEL.

S-SOMETHING
HE'D LIKE, MAYBE.

THAT'S IT.

HEY. HEY.
CAN YOU HEAR US IN THERE?

Man: JUST RAISE YOUR TONGUE
A LITTLE.

HIYA, LIMEY.
WE THINK YOU'RE SWELL.

WE REPORTED TO THE PROBATION
OFFICER YESTERDAY.

HE'S A GREAT GUY.

YEAH. T-THEY CLOSED UP
SHIVVY'S TIRE SHOP.

YOU SHOULD HAVE
HEARD HIM HOLLER.

THE FELLAS DOWN AT THE HIDEOUT
WERE ASKING ABOUT YOU.

[ Crying ]
YEAH, BUGS AND SIX-TOES,

THEY MAY BE UP
TO SEE YOU SOMETIME.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LOT OF FUN
FROM NOW ON,

ME AND YOU AND BUCK.

HE HEARD US OKAY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BUCK.

MUST BE THE ETHER
AROUND HERE, I GUESS.

[ SNIFFLES ]

YEAH, THERE'S ALWAYS A LOT
OF ETHER IN HOSPITALS.

HELLO, GIG.

HELLO, YOUR HONOR.

HELLO, BUCK.

HELLO, JUDGE.

WELL, YOU GUYS,
YOU'RE OFF PROBATION.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
REPORT ANYMORE.

WE DON'T?

NOPE. YOU'RE TOO TOUGH
FOR US NOW.

WE NEED ALL OUR TIME
FOR FELLAS

WHO ARE SOFT AND CAN'T TAKE IT,
LIKE YOU USED TO BE.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.
IT AIN'T SO TOUGH.

OF COURSE IT ISN'T
WHEN YOU GET USED TO IT,

BUT IT'S TOO TOUGH FOR SOME
PEOPLE TO BE ON THE LEVEL.

NOW, TAKE THOSE THREE MEN
WHO TRIED TO PUSH YOU AROUND

THE NIGHT YOU DECIDED
TO LIGHT OUT FOR YOURSELVES.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS
THE MATTER WITH THEM?

LIFE WAS TOO TOUGH FOR THEM.
NEVER LEARNED HOW TO TAKE IT.

OH, THOSE MUGS.

THE LIMEY
SHOWED THEM UP.

SEE, THE LIMEY WAS PRETTY TOUGH,
WASN'T HE?

HE SURE WAS.

I'LL SAY HE WAS.

WELL, YOU GUYS,
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR

FROM EITHER OF YOU AGAIN

UNTIL, GIG,
YOU'RE PITCHING FOR THE GIANTS

AND, BUCK,
YOU'RE RUNNING FOR CONGRESS.

THANKS, YOUR HONOR.

THANK YOU.

HEY, CLAUDE,
WE'RE OFF PROBATION!

WE'RE NOT GOING ANYMORE!

WELL, I SAY! HOW DECADENT!

HE SAID I WAS GONNA
PITCH FOR THE GIANTS,

AND BUCK WAS GONNA RUN
FOR CONGRESS!

OH, THAT'S SPLENDID!
COME ON! LET'S GO!

WHOO! WHOA!

[ HORNS HONKING ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ HORNS HONKING ]