The Cookie Mobster (2014) - full transcript
Placed in the witness protection program, a reformed gangster falls for his neighbor and helps her daughter bake Girl Scout Cookies.
[dramatic music]
♪
- COOL AS ICE, EASY AS PIE.
- SOME PIE SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD
RIGHT ABOUT NOW, JOEY.
I'M STARVING OVER HERE.
- CAN IT, FISH.
- SO NICE TO FINALLY BE MEETING
YOU IN PERSON, MR. LOPAN,
AFTER SO MANY YEARS
OF SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS TOGETHER.
- LIKEWISE, MR. D AMICO.
- THESE ARE MY ASSOCIATES,
MR. CHEEKS AND MR. FISH.
BABY HARNESSES?
- IT'S JUST
LIKE THE POPULAR BRAND.
MINE HAS HIGH-QUALITY,
NON-TOXIC MATERIALS
USED FOR MANUFACTURING,
BUT IT SELL LIKE HOTCAKES.
- FINE. WE'LL TAKE THEM.
[tires squealing]
- EVERYBODY FREEZE! FBI!
HANDS IN THE AIR!
- DON'T MOVE!
- MOVE OUT!
- FREEZE!
- CHECK THE VEHICLES,
CHECK THE VEHICLES.
- [grunts]
- THERE'S NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN,
D AMICO.
- LOCKED!
- DON T.
- HOLD IT, DON'T MOVE!
- CHEEKS, IT'S JOEY.
- YOU'LL NEVER
TAKE ME ALIVE, FEDS.
both: DON'T DO IT, JOEY.
- TOP OF THE WORLD, MA.
[gunshots]
- TAKE 'EM OVER TO NORTHSIDE.
- MOVE IT.
[overlapping chatter]
- HE WAS A SAINT,
I TELL YOU,
SOMEBODY YOU COULD TRUST,
TRUE FRIEND TO THE END.
- ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I'M GOING.
TAKE IT EASY.
- TOP OF THE WORLD?
REALLY?
- [chuckles]
WANTED TO GO OUT WITH
A LITTLE PANACHE, AGENT WILCOTT.
- PANACHE.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
[soft string music]
♪
- HOW DO THEY LOOK, SALLY?
- DON'T KNOW, NITA. THEY RE
STILL PRETTY SOFT IN THE MIDDLE.
- OH, HOW SOFT IS SOFT?
- PRETTY SOFT, MOM.
- I RESERVED OUR TABLE
AT THE SAINT BARNABY'S S CRAFT
FAIR FOR 8:00 A.M.,
AND WE'RE RUNNING LATE.
- IF WE DON'T MAKE IT IN TIME,
YOU JUST KNOW TROOP 119 S GONNA
TAKE OUR SPOT.
- BUT OUR TROOP CAN ONLY BECOME
THE NATIONAL FACE
OF THE SUNNY GIRLS IF WE
SELL MORE IN THE BAKE SALE.
- I KNOW, GIRLS, I KNOW.
BUT AS LONG AS WE MAKE
THE BEST BAKED GOODS,
PEOPLE WILL COME TO US.
- HERE YOU GO.
HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY GIRL DAY.
OH, BRING IT UP, BRING IT UP.
OH, GUYS, THAT IS AMAZING.
GREAT JOB.
- WHAT'S GOING ON, MOM?
- TROOP 119 STOLE OUR TABLE.
- IT'S NOT FAIR.
- THEY DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING,
GIRLS.
THERE MUST VE
BEEN SOME CONFUSION
WITH THE ORGANIZING COMMITTEE.
THEY RESERVED A SPOT
FOR THE SUNNY GIRLS AND--
- CONSTANCE AND HER GLAMOUR
GIRLS STOLE OUR SPOT.
- WE'LL BE FINE.
WE'LL JUST SET UP HERE.
- MOM, WE HAD THE BEST SPOT
IN THE WHOLE STREET,
RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE OAK TREE.
- THEY DON'T PLAY FAIR.
HOW ARE WE GONNA WIN IF THEY--
- UH-UH-UH.
WINNING IS NOT EVERYTHING,
GIRLS.
IT'S NOT AS IMPORTANT AS HAVING
FUN AND LEARNING NEW SKILLS.
- REALLY, MOM?
I GOT A SKILL.
- OH, HI, SALLY.
- CONSTANCE.
I SEE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SET UP
IN THE PRIME LOCATION.
WHAT DID YOU DO, CAMP OUT?
- AS A MATTER OF FACT WE DID.
THE GIRLS HAVE JUST BEEN
CLAMORING FOR A SLUMBER PARTY.
- THAT MUST VE BEEN DELIGHTFUL,
JOCELYN, UP ALL NIGHT,
TRADING FASHION TIPS,
DOING YOUR NAILS.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
YOUR INVITATION MUST HAVE GOTTEN
LOST IN THE MAIL.
- THAT MAKES ME WONDER.
WHEN DID YOU EVER FIND TIME
TO BAKE ALL THESE?
- ARE YOU LOOKING FOR YOUR MOM?
I THINK AMANDA AND TROOP 217
FOUND A TABLE
MORE SUITED FOR THE QUALITY
OF THEIR PRODUCTS.
REMEMBER, A SUNNY GIRL
ALWAYS SHOWS INITIATIVE.
- THE ONLY INITIATIVE
YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER HAVE
IS BUYING A BUNCH OF COOKIES,
SO YOU CAN GET OUT OF THE WORK.
- YOU CAN'T TALK
TO MY MOM LIKE THAT.
- YUP, STORE-BOUGHT.
WANT TO TASTE HOMEMADE?
- OH!
- OH, MY.
- HOW DARE YOU!
- FIGHT!
- GIRLS, STOP THAT!
- OH, YOU LITTLE MONSTER!
- THAT IS ENOUGH!
- [whistle]
STOP THAT AT ONCE!
- WAY OUT OF LINE.
- YEAH.
- WHAT A SHAME.
- THEY'RE SUNNY GIRLS,
AREN'T THEY?
- WELL, I THINK CHEEKS
AND FISH BOUGHT IT.
- LET'S HOPE SO.
THE LAST THING
I NEED IS MY FORMER ASSOCIATES
SOMEHOW DEDUCING
THAT I COLLUDED WITH THE FEDS.
- HEY, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
WE'RE HALFWAY HOME.
ONCE YOU GET TO THE AIRPORT,
YOU CAN GET ON A PLANE
TO SOMEWHERE THAT NO ONE HAS
EVER EVEN HEARD OF JOEY D AMICO.
BEST WAY TO DO THAT
IS FAR AWAY FROM HERE.
WITNESS PROTECTION,
LIKE WE DISCUSSED.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, ONE STOP,
THEN WE CAN GO.
FIVE, TEN MINUTES.
- GET IN.
- SO TELL ME ABOUT THIS NEW JOB
YOU HAVE UNDERCOVER
WITH THE FBI.
- YOU SEE, MAMA, THAT'S KIND
OF THE REASON I'M HERE.
ME AND AGENT "W" HERE,
WE'VE GOT TO GO ON
AN ASSIGNMENT, DEEP UNDERCOVER.
- WOW.
- YOU PROBABLY WON'T SEE ME
FOR A WHILE.
IT'S FBI STUFF.
IT'S VERY HUSH-HUSH.
- YOU'RE GONNA GO, AND YOU RE
GONNA LEAVE YOUR MAMA ALL ALONE?
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
- YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT HERE,
AGENT "W"?
- MAMA, I KNOW IT'S A LOT
TO BEAR,
BUT AMERICA NEEDS
ITS BEST FBI AGENT ON THIS CASE.
AND THAT MAN IS JOEY D AMICO.
- OH, I LOVE YOU. OH.
- HEY, AGENT "W", BETTER EAT UP.
YOU'RE GONNA HURT HER FEELINGS.
- TROOP 217 SHOULD VE NEVER BEEN
CHARTERED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- THE WAY I REMEMBER
IT WAS YOUR DAUGHTER, JOCELYN,
THAT COVERED YOUR UNIFORM
IN THAT FROSTING MAKEOVER.
- AFTER YOUR DAUGHTER
INSTIGATED THIS ENTIRE MESS
WITH HER BASELESS ACCUSATION.
- SALLY WAS OUT OF LINE.
- OUT OF LINE
IS ONLY THE HALF OF IT.
YOUR TROOP CONSISTENTLY DISPLAYS
AN ILL-MANNERED DISREGARD
FOR EVERYTHING THAT A SUNNY--
- LADIES, I DON'T KNOW
WHY IT IS THE TWO OF YOU
CAN'T WORK WITH EACH OTHER.
BUT FROM NOW ON,
YOU'RE GOING TO GET ALONG.
SUNNYDALE IS WHERE THE SUNNY
GIRLS WERE BORN BACK 1896.
THIS IS OUR HOME.
THE WINNER OF THIS FUNDRAISING
DRIVE WILL BE THE FACE
OF THE SUNNY GIRLS
ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
MAY THE BEST TROOP WIN.
- WE'RE REALLY SORRY,
MS. CLAYTON.
- SUPER SORRY.
- IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT'S ALL ON ME.
- WE JUST HAVE TO TRUST
THAT WE'LL WIN
IF WE MAKE THE BETTER SWEETS.
- HOW ARE WE GONNA DO
THAT IF THEY'RE ALWAYS CHEATING?
- SALLY,
TOMORROW S A FRESH START.
WE'LL JUST CHALK TODAY
UP TO EXPERIENCE.
- YES, MA AM.
- YES, MS. CLAYTON.
- OKAY.
- MS. CLAYTON,
IS SALLY GONNA BE OKAY?
- YES. SHE'LL BE FINE.
NOW YOU GIRLS RIDE HOME SAFE,
BECAUSE TOMORROW MORNING,
WE BAKE.
all: YES!
- WHERE CAN WE
GET A BITE TO EAT
AROUND THIS
SLEEPY LITTLE TOWN HERE?
- JUST MOVED IN?
- IT APPEARS SO.
- I'M SALLY. MY MOM AND I,
WE LIVE UP THE STREET.
WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
- WELL, THANK YOU, SALLY.
I'M JOEY...TANNENBAUM.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK, JOEY?
FRIENDLY NEIGHBORS,
QUIET STREET.
PRETTY GOOD PLACE FOR A BREAK.
- IT'S QUAINT.
- IT'S ONLY UNTIL THE TRIAL
STARTS, ALL RIGHT?
JUST REMEMBER RULE NUMBER ONE.
JOEY TANNENBAUM
IS MR. LOW PROFILE.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- JOEY, HOW ABOUT THE KEYS?
- [exhales]
- [grunts]
PRETTY NICE, HUH?
- IF THIS FEDERAL AGENT THING
DON'T WORK OUT FOR YOU,
I KNOW A FEW SHORT-STAY MOTELS
THAT LL SNAP YOU
RIGHT UP AS A DECORATOR.
- HA-HA.
- YOU DONE THIS BEFORE, WILCOTT,
THIS WITNESS RELOCATION RACKET?
- NOPE. YOU'RE MY GUINEA PIG.
- KIND OF FILLS ME
WITH THE KIND OF CONFIDENCE
THAT MAKES A MAN
REEVALUATE HIS LIFE DECISIONS.
- LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS HARD.
YOU'RE IN
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD
THAN THE ONE
THAT YOU'RE USED TO.
- THE WORLD I'M USED
TO INCLUDES A 67-INCH TV,
A SKYLINE VIEW, A HOT TUB,
A PORSCHE WITH A SLANT NOSE.
- YOU DO HAVE A BIKE.
- MAYBE I'LL GET A PAPER ROUTE.
- JOEY, YOU'RE DOING
THE RIGHT THING.
YOUR TESTIMONY IS GETTING SOME
VERY BAD MEN OFF THE STREET.
JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN
SO YOUR OLD FRIENDS
DON'T GET A BEAT
ON WHERE YOU ARE,
AND YOU CAN ENJOY A FEW
HAPPY WEEKS AS JOEY TANNENBAUM.
OKAY, I'M HEADING INTO THE CITY
TO CHECK
IN WITH THE LOCAL FIELD OFFICE.
I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL TONIGHT,
CHECK IN, SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING.
- I'LL BE ON MY NEW COUCH
LIKE A GOOD BOY.
- YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE
OF THOSE FOR THE ROAD?
- ONCE YOU HAVE ONE OF MY MAMA S
COOKIES, YOU CAN'T STOP IT.
- YEAH, I HEAR THAT.
YEAH. MMM.
- HEY, HEY, HEY.
CATCH YOU LATER.
- OKAY.
- "JOEY, MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL,
YOU'RE TOO SKINNY."
[chuckles]
"THESE ARE ALL MY NONNA S SECRET
RECIPES FROM THE OLD COUNTRY,
"SO WHEN YOU COME HOME,
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
"MS. PASCALANO S BOY ANTHONY
WITH HIS CHICKEN LEGS.
LOVE, MAMA."
THANKS, MA.
[knock at door]
- HEY, KIDDO.
I CAN UNDERSTAND
HOW MAD YOU GOT, SALLY.
THAT'S NOT HOW WE DEAL
WITH OUR PROBLEMS.
YELLING AT PEOPLE--
- IT'S NOT THE SUNNY GIRL WAY.
WHY DO YOU DO THIS, MOM?
- DO WHAT?
- RUNNING THE TROOP.
YOU SPEND ALL YEAR TEACHING KIDS
AND THEN ALL SUMMER
WITH THE SUNNY GIRLS.
DON'T YOU WANT ANY TIME
FOR YOU?
- WELL, THIS IS TIME FOR ME.
FOR US.
REMEMBER OUR FIRST CAMP-OUT,
WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN?
- OF COURSE.
THE GHOST STORIES.
- WE HAD SO MUCH FUN.
I GUESS I JUST WANT TO
RECAPTURE THAT TIME WITH YOU.
- I'M SORRY, MOM.
I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS.
I DON'T THINK
I'M A SUNNY GIRL ANYMORE.
- OH, BUT, SALLY, PENELOPE,
LUCY, NITA, THEY IDOLIZE YOU.
YOU'RE THEIR LEADER.
YOU LOVE THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.
I'M OLDER NOW.
SUNNY GIRLS IS FOR KIDS,
AND THAT'S NOT ME.
- BUT IT'S OUR THING.
IT'S WHAT WE DO TOGETHER.
- IT'S WHAT YOU DO, MOM.
- GENTLEMEN,
JOEY D AMICO IS ALIVE.
- WHAT?
- JOEY MADE IT?
- THIS NEWS SHOULD NOT INSPIRE
HAPPINESS, YOU RUBES.
- JOEY S BEING ALIVE
IS SCINTILLATING INFORMATION.
- LOOK WHO HE'S STANDING WITH.
- HEY, THAT'S THE FED.
- YEAH.
YOUR PAL JOEY
HAS TURNED STATE S EVIDENCE,
AND NOW HE'S MADE
HIMSELF SCARCE.
IF HE GOES TO YOUR TRIAL,
YOU CAN COUNT ON TWO THINGS.
ONE, THIS WHOLE OPERATION
COMES DOWN AROUND OUR EARS.
AND TWO, WE'RE ALL GOING INSIDE
FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
- HE'S OUR CAPO.
- NOT ANYMORE. CAPISCE?
YOU'RE IN A DEEP MESS, BOYS.
FIND YOUR PAL JOEY
AND GET HIM BACK HERE.
- HELLO, LADIES.
- HI.
- NOW WE'RE TALKING.
FLOUR, EGGS, RICOTTA.
HOW MUCH TROUBLE CAN I GET INTO
WITH A QUICK TRIP TO THE STORE?
HEY THERE, LITTLE GIRL.
- HI. I'M PING.
- WELL, I WOULD GUESS BY THE WAY
YOU'RE STANDING IN MY PATH
AND THAT ADORABLE UNIFORM, YOU
GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND
YOU'D LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH ME.
- YOU TALK FUNNY.
- THE USE OF OVERWROUGHT
VOCABULARY
AND CIRCUITOUS SENTENCES
IS ONE OF MY THINGS.
IT MAKES PEOPLE THINK I M
SOMETHING OF A LYRICAL SCHOLAR.
- THAT SEEMS LIKE A SENSIBLE
AND INDEED EFFECTIVE APPROACH.
- GOOD WORK, KID.
YOU'RE QUICK.
NOW WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?
- WOULD YOU LIKE
TO BUY A COOKIE?
- YOU HAVE CAPTIVATED
MY INTEREST.
IT JUST SO HAPPENS I'M GONNA
GO PURCHASE THE INGREDIENTS
TO BAKE COOKIES OF MY OWN.
YOU COULD SAVE ME SOME TIME.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
- OH, OKAY.
COME ON.
- WHOA, WHOA.
HERE YOU GO.
- THANKS.
MS. CLAYTON, THIS MAN
WANTS TO BUY SOMETHING.
- OH, THAT'S GREAT, PING.
WE'RE HAVING A FUNDRAISER
TO SUPPORT THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- OH, WELL, I'D BE HONORED
TO HELP OUT THE CAUSE.
WHAT KIND OF TREATS
ARE WE WORKING WITH?
- GINGER-LEMONGRASS SCONES,
WHEAT GERM-ORANGE RED MUFFINS.
- THESE ARE CHARD-CARROT TEA
CAKES.
- WELL, THEY ALL SOUND HEALTHY.
- EVERYTHING'S HOMEMADE
AND ORGANIC.
- UM...
WE GOT A WINNER.
HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?
- ONE AMERICAN DOLLAR.
- OKAY.
HOW ABOUT A 20?
WE'LL CALL IT A RETAINER
IF I REQUIRE MORE SERVICES,
MS. CLAYTON.
- OH, AMANDA.
IT WAS MISTER?
- JOEY. JOEY TANNENBAUM.
- WELL, THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.
WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT, JOEY.
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
- EVERYONE JUST PLAY COOL,
ALL RIGHT.
- WE MADE 19 SALES
BUT HAD 11 RETURNS.
STILL, WITH WHAT JOEY GAVE US--
- HE WAS COOL.
HE WAS, LIKE--
- DIFFERENT.
PENELOPE, LUCY, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO GET OUR LUNCH FROM THE VAN?
- YOU BET, MS. "C."
- HEY!
- COME ON!
- NO.
- WHOOPS, DID I GET YOU?
SORRY, BUDDY.
DON'T WORRY, LADIES.
JUST A LITTLE MISUNDERSTANDING.
YOU'RE A KLUTZ, PAL.
HEY, HEY, I WOULDN T DO
THAT IF I WERE YOU.
YOU SIT DOWN.
- THAT WAS AMAZING.
- SALLY.
HELLO, NEIGHBOR.
I THINK THESE GENTLEMEN
WERE, UH,
INADVERTENTLY MISTAKEN
THE SUNNY GIRLS CASHBOX.
YOU SHOULD GET YOUR FRIEND HOME.
HE'S CLUMSY.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU RUN?
- TOO FULL.
- THAT WAS AWESOME.
- SUNNY GIRLS CHEER.
[together]
♪ JOEY, JOEY, HE'S OUR MAN
♪ IF HE CAN'T DO IT,
NO ONE CAN ♪
- OH, JOEY, YOU DESERVE SO
MUCH MORE THAN JUST A CHEER.
I MEAN, WE'VE GOT
TO THANK YOU BY, LIKE--
- IT'S NOT NECESSARY, AMANDA.
OH, LOOK AT THE TIME.
I FORGOT
ABOUT AN IMPORTANT ENGAGEMENT.
I LL--I GOT TO GO.
- OH, OKAY.
- SEE YOU.
- BYE.
- BYE, JOEY.
- BYE.
- MY OH, MY.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OH, THIS MAMA.
OH, SHE'S LIKE A TSUNAMI
WITH THIS PASTA.
IT S, LIKE, UNBELIEVABLE.
- IS THAT ENOUGH?
- THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
- OH, NO.
- COME ON.
- I'M STUFFED!
I CAN'T EAT ANY MORE.
- ALL RIGHT, DO ME A FAVOR.
TELL ME WHEN.
- WHEN, WHEN.
- NO, NO.
- WHEN.
- OKAY, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BE BACK.
- EVEN WHEN ME AND JOEY
WAS LITTLE,
SHE NEVER LET ME LEAVE
UNTIL I WAS STUFFED.
- I THINK SHE'S HOLDING OUT
ON US, FISH.
- MAMA? NAH.
- YEAH.
- YOU REALLY THINK MAMA
KNOWS WHERE JOEY IS?
- WHAT'S THAT ABOUT JOEY?
- OH, NOTHING.
WE WERE JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW,
WE HAVEN'T SEEN JOEY IN A WHILE.
HE HASN'T BEEN
AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
- YOU KNOW, BOYS. HE TOOK
THAT JOB RUNNING THE FBI.
HE'S ON AN UNDERCOVER MISSION.
OH, SHUT YOUR MOUTHS.
YOU'RE GONNA CATCH FLIES.
- MAMA, YOU KNOW WHERE JOEY IS?
- NOW IF I KNEW THAT,
IT WOULDN T BE
AN UNDERCOVER MISSION, WOULD IT?
- UNDERCOVER.
MUST BE COLD WHERE HE WENT.
CANADA.
- OH.
I FORGOT THE RICOTTA COOKIES.
- THANKS, MA.
- OKAY.
- I TELL YOU WHAT, I'M EXCITED.
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CANADA.
- SALLY, HAVE YOU SEEN
MY CELL PHONE?
- OH, HERE IT IS.
IT WAS RIGHT UNDER THE CUSHIONS.
- OH, GOOD.
THANKS, KIDDO.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT YOU.
- "I, THE UNDERSIGNED,
AGREE TO THE ABOVE STATED TERMS.
AND ANY FAILURE
TO ABIDE BY SAID TERMS
WILL RESULT
IN MY IMMEDIATE INCARCERATION."
NICE.
[knock at door]
WHAT THE?
[knock at door]
- WE WANTED TO STOP BY
AND SAY...
- YOU FORGOT YOUR GROCERIES.
- I SUPPOSE I DID FORGET THEM
IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT.
LET ME GET THOSE FOR YOU.
UH, COME IN.
SEEING YOU TWO IS A DELIGHTFUL
END TO AN EVENTFUL DAY.
- AS SOON AS YOU CAME INTO TOWN,
EVERYTHING
STARTED GETTING INTERESTING.
THE WAY YOU STOPPED THOSE GUYS,
IT WAS SO AMAZING.
- OH, IT WAS NOTHING.
I WAS MERELY
PERFORMING MY DUTIES
AS A CONSCIENTIOUS CITIZEN.
- IT WASN'T NOTHING, JOEY.
IT WAS AN EXAMPLE
OF THE KIND OF SELF-RELIANCE
THAT SUNNY GIRLS ARE ALL ABOUT.
- SORRY MY PLACE IS SUCH A MESS.
- OH, HONESTLY,
IT'S CLEANER THAN WHAT MY PLACE
HAS BEEN IN YEARS.
- AS A THANKS TO JOEY,
MAYBE YOU COULD SHOW HIM AROUND.
YOU GUYS SHOULD STOP BY
AND GET SOME DINNER.
- OH.
- 7:30 TONIGHT.
- SURE.
- I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER WAY
TO SPEND AN EVENING.
[phone ringing]
- TANNENBAUM RESIDENCE.
HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?
- TANNENBAUM RESIDENCE?
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR.
KEEPING IT LOW PROFILE.
- I'M VIRTUALLY INVISIBLE.
IT'S JUST, THERE IS ONE THING.
I MET SOMEONE.
- JOEY, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
YOU'RE ONLY GONNA BE THERE
FOR A FEW MORE WEEKS,
AND THEN WE HAVE TO MOVE YOU
BACK TO NEW YORK.
- I'M TRYING TO TURN OVER
A NEW LEAF, RIGHT?
- YEAH, RIGHT.
BUT, JOEY, LISTEN.
- SO I WAS THINKING MAYBE I
COULD TELL HER ABOUT THE WHOLE
WITNESS PROTECTION THING.
MAYBE IT'S TIME
I COME CLEAN TO MORE THAN
JUST THE FINE REPRESENTATIVES
OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
- THAT IS A BAD IDEA
FOR TWO REASONS.
ONE, IT COMPROMISES
THE OPERATION
AND COULD GET ME FIRED.
DOS,YOU'D BE PUTTING
HER AND ANYBODY
CLOSE TO HER AT JEOPARDY.
ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION.
- YEAH, YEAH.
I FIGURED YOU WERE GONNA RESPOND
IN THAT FASHION.
WELL, EASY COME, EASY GO, RIGHT?
- THAT'S MY WITNESS.
OKAY, BUDDY.
- YES, SIR.
EYES ON THE PRIZE.
EYES ON THE PRIZE.
WHOOPS, DID I GET YOU?
SORRY, BUDDY.
[knock at door]
- WOW, MOM.
YOU LOOK AMAZING.
- YEAH?
YOU DON'T THINK IT'S TOO MUCH?
I MEAN, IT'S NOT A DATE
OR ANYTHING.
I'M JUST SHOWING A NEW NEIGHBOR
AROUND.
SERIOUSLY.
- GO HAVE FUN.
- OKAY.
BUT IT'S NOT A DATE.
- OF COURSE NOT, MOM.
YES.
- OH.
SUCH A GENTLEMAN.
- YOU CAN THANK MY MAMA
FOR THAT.
SHE RAISED ME TO BE A--
- MAMA S BOY?
- GRANDMAMA S BOY
IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL.
- WELL, IT'S ADORABLE.
SHE OBVIOUSLY KNEW
WHAT SHE WAS DOING.
- TELL ME ABOUT YOU.
- OH, THAT'S A TALE
OF EXCITEMENT AND INTRIGUE.
THERE'S NOT REALLY THAT MUCH
TO TELL.
I'M A FIFTH GRADE TEACHER.
I LEAD A TROOP OF SUNNY GIRLS
IN THE SUMMER AND, YOU KNOW,
JUST A SINGLE MOM,
TRYING TO RAISE MY GIRL
AND MAKING IT UP AS I GO ALONG.
- WELL, YOU SEEM TO BE
DOING PRETTY GOOD.
SALLY S A GREAT KID.
SHE'S GOT SO MUCH SPUNK.
REMINDS ME OF MYSELF AS A YOUTH.
- YEAH.
YEAH, SHE'S GREAT.
LATELY SHE'S KIND
OF BEEN HINTING
THAT SHE MIGHT BE A LITTLE
TOO GROWN UP.
- AH, KIDS.
THEY GO THROUGH PHASES.
- GOOD EVENING,
SIGNOR E SIGNORA,
WELCOME TO PAPA MANGIA S
ITALIAN CUISINE,
HOME OF THE MOST
AUTHENTIC DINING EXPERIENCE
IN ALL OF SUNNYDALE.
- IT'S ACTUALLY THE ONLY
ITALIAN IN SUNNYDALE.
- SITHE MOST AUTHENTIC
IN TOWN.
- [giggles]
- SO I FOUND OUR FRIEND.
- YOU FOUND JOEY?
- THAT'S WHAT THE MAN SAID.
WOW, AMAZING.
WE LOOKED ALL OVER FOR THIS GUY.
HE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND, IN
SPITE OF OUR DILIGENT EFFORTS.
- YEAH, I'M SURE.
WE'RE HEADING
TO THE AIRPORT NOW.
YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR TICKETS
AT THE COUNTER.
OUR FRIEND IS OUT WEST,
A LITTLE TOWN CALLED SUNNYDALE.
GET OUT THERE
AND DO WHAT NEEDS DOING, BOYS.
MAKE ME PROUD.
HEY.
- WE WILL, MR. DE ANGELIS.
WE WILL.
- SO WHAT'S THE VERDICT?
AUTHENTIC?
- THAT ALL DEPENDS
ON YOUR DEFINITION OF AUTHENTIC.
WERE MAMA HERE,
SHE MIGHT TAKE IT UPON HERSELF
TO GIVE THE CHEF
SOME SUBTLE AND FRIENDLY ADVICE.
- WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT,
I'M SURE.
- INDEED.
SHALL WE?
- I GOT IT.
I KNOW YOU.
- I'M NOT SURE WE'VE EVER MET.
PERHAPS YOU'RE MISTAKING ME
FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
- NO, MAN.
YOU'RE THAT GUY
THAT EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WHOA, LOOK AT THE TIME.
WE GOT TO GET GOING.
YOU SHOULD TRY
ADDING SOME GARLIC.
IT LL DO THE BODY GOOD.
GOOD NIGHT.
- BUENAS NOCHES.
- GET IN HERE, GUYS.
JOEY S ON TV.
- IT WAS NOT A GOOD DAY
FOR TWO YOUNG HOODLUMS
WHO ATTEMPTED TO STEAL
THE PROCEEDS FROM A LOCAL SUNNY
GIRL ADVENTURERS BAKE SALE.
THIS FOOTAGE HAS BECOME
AN INTERNET SENSATION.
A MYSTERIOUS NEWCOMER TO TOWN
WAS HAPPY TO LEND A HAND IN
RETRIEVING THE STOLEN CASHBOX.
- THIS MUST BE WHAT THE GUY
AT THE RESTAURANT
WAS TALKING ABOUT.
IT'S ONLINE?
- YEAH. I UPLOADED IT YESTERDAY.
IT'S GOT, LIKE, A MILLION HITS.
THANK GOODNESS
I BROUGHT YOUR PHONE, MOM.
- YEAH.
THANK GOODNESS.
- THAT'S JOSEPH TANNENBAUM,
T-A-N-N-E-N-B-A-U-M.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST SORT
OF A LOCAL STORY.
BUT IT'S SO HEARTWARMING.
THE WHOLE NATION S GONNA SEE ALL
ABOUT IT FROM SEATTLE TO MIAMI,
LOS ANGELES TO, SAY,
PHILADELPHIA.
- THIS IS NOT GOOD.
- KAREN, WE'LL GO BACK TO YOU
IN THE STUDIO.
- NOT GOOD?
YOU'RE A HERO, JOEY.
- YOU DON'T HEAR ABOUT A
REAL-LIFE HERO EVERY DAY.
- WILCOTT.
- AGENT GRUNDY.
- LOOK, KID, YOU MAY BE ALL OVER
ORGANIZED CRIME IN NEW YORK,
BUT YOUR FACILITY FOR WITNESS
RELOCATION GIVES ME PAUSE.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
- OH, NO.
- OH, YES, WILCOTT.
IT APPEARS YOUR GUY
LOVES THE CAMERA.
- HEY, HEY.
WOULDN T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU.
- NOW GET TO SUNNYDALE
AND CONTROL YOUR WITNESS.
- YES, SIR.
WHAT PART OF LOW PROFILE
DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND, JOEY?
- ARE YOU REFERRING TO JOEY
TANNENBAUM S NEWLY-ELEVATED
STATUS AS A HEROIC FIGURE?
- NEWLY-ELEVATED?
YOU'RE ALL OVER THE INTERNET,
JOEY.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?
JOEY TANNENBAUM S THE KIND OF
GUY THAT PEOPLE LIKE TO ADMIRE.
- A COUPLE WEEKS.
ALL YOU NEEDED TO DO WAS
KEEP QUIET FOR A COUPLE WEEKS
UNTIL THE TRIAL STARTS.
JOEY, DO YOU GET
THAT IF YOUR OLD PARTNERS
FIGURE OUT WHERE YOU ARE,
THEY'RE GONNA COME FOR YOU?
- FORGET ABOUT IT, AGENT "W."
LET ME BAKE UP
SOME OF MAMA S PIZZELLES.
IT LL TAKE YOUR MIND
RIGHT OFF YOUR TROUBLES.
I GOT TO GET THESE COOKIES OVER
TO AMANDA S AND THE SUNNY GIRLS.
THEY'RE GONNA KNOCK THIS TOWN S
SOCKS OFF THEIR FEET.
- WAIT. WHAT?
AMANDA S THE WOMAN?
THE ONE FROM THE VIDEO.
- SHE IS.
- JOEY, AGAIN, YOU'RE ONLY GONNA
BE HERE FOR A FEW WEEKS.
- LOOK, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
[oven beeps]
LADIES, PREPARE YOUR TASTE BUDS.
- THESE ARE TOTALLY AMAZING.
- WE SHOULD SELL THESE.
CAN WE, JOEY?
- WELL, THEY'RE A FAMILY RECIPE.
COULD YOU KEEP A SECRET?
- SUNNY GIRLS DO NOT GOSSIP.
- WHAT ABOUT YOU, SALLY?
IF WE DO THIS, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO JOIN BACK UP.
I CAN'T GO TEACHING MY MAMA S
SECRET RECIPE TO JUST ANYONE.
- I'M TOO OLD.
- YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD
TO BE A SUNNY GIRL.
I'M SOMETHING
OF A PETER PAN FIGURE MYSELF.
- COME ON, SALLY.
- YEAH, WE NEED YOU.
- ONCE A SUNNY GIRL...
all: ALWAYS A SUNNY GIRL.
- I'M IN.
[cheering]
- ALL RIGHT.
SO NOW WE JUST NEED A PLACE
TO SELL THEM,
SOME KIND OF HIGH-TRAFFIC AREA.
- NOW WE COME TO THE PROBLEM.
TROOP 217 ISN'T THE ONLY
SUNNY GIRL TROOP IN TOWN.
WE'RE IN A FUNDRAISING
COMPETITION.
- IF WE WIN,
WE BECOME THE NATIONAL FACE
OF THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- I'VE HAD MY PICTURE
ON MANY A POST OFFICE WALL.
- THE POINT IS,
CONSTANCE MORGAN,
SHE'S THE TROOP MOTHER
OF TROOP 119,
AND IT'S ALMOST LIKE--
- LIKE SHE'S CHEATING.
I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN THINK
SHE BAKES HER OWN COOKIES.
SHE BUYS THEM.
IF EVER WE TRY TO SELL,
SHE ENDS UP RUNNING THE SHOW.
- YEAH, LIKE AT THE SIDEWALK
SALE.
- SIDEWALK SALE?
- SAINT BARNABY S CHURCH
SPONSORS A SIDEWALK SALE
ON THE WEEKENDS.
- WE HAD THE PERFECT SPOT.
BUT AS SOON
AS TROOP 119 STOLE OUR TABLE...
- WE GOT BOUNCED
FROM THE BEST PLACE
IN THE WHOLE STREET.
- HMM.
THIS RAISES HACKLES OF SUSPICION
ON MY WELL-COIFFED HEAD.
SIDEWALK SALE YOU SAY?
IT MIGHT BE TIME
I GET A LOOK AT OUR COMPETITION.
- HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT,
JOEY?
- WELL, EVERYONE IN THE TOWN
KNOWS YOU NOW.
IF CONSTANCE SEES THE GUY
WHO HELPED SAVE TROOP 217 S
CASHBOX, SHE'S GONNA KNOW
THAT SOMETHING S NOT RIGHT.
- SALLY?
- I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA
TO GET YOU CLOSE.
A COUPLE YEARS AGO,
MOM AND I GOT THIS ACHIEVEMENT.
I THINK IT'S TIME PING, NITA,
AND LUCY EARNED THE SAME ONE.
- OH, BOY.
- THAT'S SUCH A SMALL SCREEN.
HOW COULD YOU TELL THAT'S JOEY?
- I'VE KNOWN JOEY
SINCE WE WAS IN DIAPERS.
IT'S HIM.
- YEAH, THAT'S JOEY ALL RIGHT.
BOY,
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY HANDS
AROUND HIS NECK, THAT RAT.
- MIND YOUR BUSINESS.
- SHUT UP.
- YOU NEVER TOLD ME
WHAT YOU DID IN NEW YORK.
- I HAD THIS JOB.
CAREER, REALLY.
I WAS VERY, VERY GOOD AT IT.
BUT, UH...
IT'S TOUGH TO EXPLAIN.
- WHAT, YOU WEREN'T SATISFIED?
- YOU COULD SAY THAT.
AT THE END OF THE DAY,
WE DIDN'T TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE
OF OUR CUSTOMERS.
I DIDN'T LIKE WHO I WAS
AND WHAT I WAS DOING.
- AND WHAT ABOUT NOW?
- YEAH, HAPPY.
THAT'S WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE.
- WE'RE ZOMBIES.
- ZOMBIE.
- YOU READY TO BE TRANSFORMED?
- I ABSOLUTELY AM, I GUESS.
- OH, THE SUNNY GIRLS.
I ALWAYS LOVE TO SUPPORT A GREAT
YOUTH ORGANIZATION WHEN I CAN.
I'LL TAKE A BOX OF--
- MONEY IN THE CASHBOX.
NEXT.
- CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING?
- PIZZA DELIVERY.
ONE PIE FOR THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- OH, WE DIDN'T ORDER A PIZZA.
- OH, COME ON, MOM.
I'M STARVING.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE
CAN EAT THESE COOKIES.
- OH, OKAY, HONEY. HOLD ON.
FATHER MIKE,
WE NEED YOU OVER HERE.
- YES, CONSTANCE.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU GIRLS?
- WELL, THE GIRLS ARE HUNGRY,
AND PIZZA GUY IS HERE.
- YES, I CAN SEE THAT.
- WELL, I FIGURE
WITH THIS AMAZING TURNOUT,
YOU MUST HAVE ENOUGH DONATIONS
TO BUY THE GIRLS SOME PIZZA
FOR ALL THEIR HARD WORK.
- DONATIONS HAVE NOT BEEN NEARLY
AS ABUNDANT
AS WE WOULD VE LIKED.
AND SINCE WE'VE ALREADY
WAIVED YOUR BOOTH FEE...
- FATHER MIKE.
- YES, CONSTANCE, OF COURSE.
GIVE HER THE PIZZA.
SO WHAT'S THE DAMAGE?
- KEEP IT.
I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
- BUT--
- WATCH OUT, PING.
- YOU WATCH OUT, LUCY.
YOU'RE TOTALLY IN MY WAY.
- CAREFUL, GIRLS.
OOH, NICE JOB, NITA.
- THANKS, MS. CLAYTON.
DON'T EAT OUR PROFIT.
- I JUST WANTED TO TRY ONE,
NITA.
- MAMA S COOKIES ARE THE BEST.
WE JUST NEED TO FIND SOMEPLACE
TO SELL THEM.
- WELL, IT SO HAPPENS
I HAVE A SOLUTION
FOR THAT PARTICULAR QUANDARY.
all: JOEY!
- HEY.
YOU RECOGNIZED ME.
I'M SURPRISED.
YOUR MASTERY
OF THE ART OF DISGUISE
SERVED ME WELL ON OUR MISSION.
- OKAY, SO DON'T HOLD BACK.
WHAT'S THE SCOOP?
- WELL, YOUR FEARS
ARE WELL FOUNDED.
OH.
I KNOW A THING OR TWO
ABOUT RACKETS FROM MY TIME IN--
ANYWAY, YOUR PAL CONSTANCE,
SHE DEFINITELY HAS AN ANGLE
SHE'S WORKING.
- WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST WE DO?
- WELL, HUDDLE UP, GIRLS.
LUCKILY,
I HAVE EXPERIENCE COMBATING
SUCH FELONIOUS MEASURES.
- YES.
- PUT IT HERE.
all: ONE, TWO, THREE.
SUNNY GIRLS!
ALL RIGHT, GIRLS,
THIS IS THE DAY.
WE'RE GONNA SELL SOME COOKIES.
THE WAY CONSTANCE AND HER GIRLS
GOT THIS TOWN WIRED,
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS
ARE AT A SLIGHT DISADVANTAGE.
AND THEY GOT THE SIDEWALK SALE
LOCKED DOWN, THAT'S FOR SURE.
- SO WHAT DO WE DO?
- WELL, ALL AROUND YOU
IS OPPORTUNITY.
- WHAT OPPORTUNITY, JOEY?
- ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.
HEY THERE, BUDDY.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HAVING
A PARTICULARLY STRENUOUS
CONSTITUTIONAL.
- TWO MILES EVERY DAY.
IT KEEPS ME ACTIVE AND YOUNG.
- WELL, I BET THAT TAKES UP
QUITE A BIT OF ENERGY.
MAYBE YOU COULD USE A SNACK
TO MAXIMIZE YOUR EFFICIENCY.
HEY, PING, HOW ABOUT A PIZZELLE
FOR THE NEW FRIEND OF OURS?
- OKAY.
IT'S GREAT.
I NEVER HAD A COOKIE THIS GOOD.
[laughs]
HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?
- OH, IT'S ON THE HOUSE, PAL.
YOU COME AROUND HERE
QUITE A BIT, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
- YOU TELL EVERYBODY
YOU KNOW ABOUT SUNNY GIRLS TROOP
217 S NEW ITALIAN CONFECTIONS,
AND WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.
- YOU GOT IT, PAL.
THANKS, GIRLS.
- HAVE A GOOD ONE.
- BUT, JOEY,
HE DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING.
- WELL, SOMETIMES
YOU GOT TO GIVE YOUR STUFF AWAY
TO BUILD A CUSTOMER BASE.
- HOW, JOEY?
- WELL, HE TELLS TEN FRIENDS.
THEN THEY TELL TEN FRIENDS.
SOONER OR LATER, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO LOOK FOR PEOPLE
TO SELL YOUR GOODS TO.
- THEY'LL BE LOOKING FOR US.
- EXACTLY.
SO GO ON,
FAN OUT AND HOOK SOME BIG FISH.
- YES, JOEY.
- YES, JOEY.
- ALL RIGHT.
- LET'S GO.
- COME ON.
[clears throat]
- THAT WAS QUITE THE PEP TALK.
- WELL, ON THIS,
I KNOW MY STUFF.
SOONER OR LATER, WE'LL HAVE
THE WHOLE TOWN SELLING FOR US.
- OH, YES.
- INTERESTING MOTIF.
- WELCOME TO MONTEGO BAY
SMOOTHIE. I'M SUNSHINE.
HOW CAN I BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY?
- [chuckles]
GIVE ME TWO ESPRESSOS.
- I'M SORRY, SIR.
WE ONLY SERVE ALL-NATURAL HERBAL
AND ORGANIC
FRUIT BLENDED BEVERAGES.
- DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
THAT COULD PERK US UP IN LIEU
OF A CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE?
- WE GOT WHEATGRASS.
IT'S GOOD FOR THE DIGESTION.
- ALL RIGHT,
GIVE US TWO WHEATGRASSES.
- THAT LL BE $15, SIR.
- 15?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT'S GRASS.
- I GOT IT, FISH.
AND LISTEN, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,
WHY DON'T YOU THROW IN
AN ASSORTMENT OF THOSE COOKIES
AS WELL.
I'M IN A PERK-ISH KIND OF MOOD.
- THANK YOU.
BRING IT RIGHT OUT TO YOU.
- IF YOU WERE GONNA
PAY $15 FOR GRASS,
I WOULD VE WENT OUT
AND PICKED IT FOR YOU.
[gagging]
LIKE I JUST KISSED A LAWN MOWER.
- HAVE ONE OF THESE, FISH,
A LITTLE SOMETHING
TO CLEANSE YOUR PALATE.
- DON'T MIND IF I DO.
- TASTE FAMILIAR?
- YEAH, REAL FAMILIAR.
- LIKE YOU'VE HAD IT BEFORE?
- LIKE I GREW UP WITH THEM.
THOSE ARE MAMA D AMICO S
COOKIES.
- YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
- MAMA S A SUNNY GIRL.
OF COURSE.
SO WHAT ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT HERE?
- WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT THESE COOKIES
AND OUR PAL JOEY IN CAHOOTS
WITH THE SUNNY GIRL OPERATION.
ONLY HE COULD VE GIVEN THEM
THE RECIPE FOR THESE COOKIES.
I'M NOT SURE OF THE ANGLE,
BUT WE GOT HIM NOW.
- SO WHAT'S OUR NEXT MOVE?
- WE GOT TO FIND
THESE SUNNY GIRLS
AND HAVE A LITTLE TALK
WITH OUR MUTUAL ACQUAINTANCE.
- RIGHT.
A TALK.
WITH...
- WITH JOEY!
- WITH JOEY.
I KNEW THAT.
I WAS JUST TESTING YOU.
- JUST A FEW DAYS SELLING
YOUR MAMA S COOKIES AND, WELL,
WE'VE ALREADY MADE OVER $500.
- WELL, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO GIVE
THE PUBLIC A LITTLE TASTE.
THEY'LL KEEP COMING BACK.
- WELL, THE GIRLS
ARE REALLY HAPPY.
I MEAN, WE'RE REALLY IN IT NOW.
WE COULD WIN.
- WHAT'S THIS?
- WELL, I THINK YOU
SHOULD HOLD ON TO THE MONEY.
IF THERE'S ANYTHING
WE'VE LEARNED FROM THIS WEEK,
IT'S CASH
IS SAFER IN YOUR HANDS.
I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU MOVED
TO SUNNYDALE, JOEY TANNENBAUM.
- OH, YEAH?
WHY IS THAT?
- WELL, DUH. THE COOKIES.
[laughing]
- MY MAMA,
SHE SURE KNOWS HER STUFF, HUH?
- EVEN IF NOTHING HAPPENS
WITH THE FUNDRAISING COMP--
- YOU GOT IT IN THE BAG, AMANDA.
- YOU'VE BEEN VERY HELPFUL.
YOU'VE MADE A REAL DIFFERENCE
IN THE GIRLS LIVES,
PING, LUCY, NITA, SALLY.
A GOOD MALE ROLE MODEL
IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
- I'VE BEEN REFERRED
TO BY MANY GREAT EPITHETS.
BUT TO DATE, A ROLE MODEL
JUST AIN T ONE OF THEM.
- WELL, YOU SHOULD GET
USED TO IT, JOEY.
- LOOK, AMANDA,
I'LL KEEP THIS SAFE
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
TO BAKE THE MORNING AWAY.
- OH, AND...
HAVING YOU HERE HAS MEANT
A LOT TO ME TOO.
- GOOD NIGHT.
- HELLO.
- MAMA, IT'S ME. HOW YOU DOING?
- OH, JOEY.
HOW S THE NEW JOB?
- THAT'S KIND OF WHY I CALLED.
I GOT A BIT
OF A DILEMMA BREWING.
- OH, I COULD HEAR IT
IN YOUR VOICE.
TELL MAMA WHAT'S THE MATTER.
- IT'S THIS NEW CASE
I GOT UPON ARRIVAL.
MAMA, I'VE BECOME A LITTLE
BIT MORE INTIMATELY INVOLVED
THAN IS STANDARD PROCEDURE
IN SUCH INSTANCES.
- SO IS THERE A WOMAN?
- I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
- OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT,
JOEY.
MAMA KNOWS HER JOEY.
- YEAH, YOU DO.
I COULD NEVER GET
ONE PAST YOU, HUH?
- YOU KNOW, JOEY,
LIFE IS A LITTLE BIT
LIKE BAKING COOKIES.
- I'M NOT SURE I FOLLOW.
- YOU GET THE RIGHT RECIPE,
YOU FOLLOW ALL THE INSTRUCTIONS,
AND THAT WILL GET YOU
WHERE YOU GOT TO GO.
CAPISCE?
BUT TO MAKE TRULY AMAZING
COOKIES, YOU KNOW,
THE KIND
THAT KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF,
THE KIND THAT I MAKE, YOU
GOT TO HAVE THE MAIN INGREDIENT.
AND THAT IS LOVE, JOEY.
SO FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
- THANKS, MAMA.
I LOVE YOU.
- OH, I LOVE YOU, JOEY.
I MISS YOU.
SO NOW TELL ME
ALL ABOUT THE GIRL.
- OKAY, WAFFLE.
AND THE LAST ONE.
HOW ARE THOSE EGGS GOING?
- TOO MUCH.
THERE YOU GO.
- THANKS, JOEY.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- OH.
- GREAT JOB, TROOP 217.
- THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY.
- ENJOY.
- SEE?
IT'S CRAZY.
- THANK YOU,
SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
- OH, NO, MOM.
- FOR HERE OR TO GO?
FOR HERE?
- OKAY, I'LL TAKE THIS.
I'LL TAKE THIS.
- BYE.
- HI.
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
EVERYONE LOVES THEIR COOKIES.
- I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.
AMANDA CLAYTON WILL NOT BEAT US.
- THESE ARE GREAT.
- THAT WAS GREAT.
- THAT WAS HILARIOUS.
- I CONCUR.
ALTHOUGH I QUESTION
SOME OF THE FILM S ACCURACY.
- OH, HOW DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL--
OH, LOOK, THE LITTLE
ITALIAN JOINT S STILL OPEN.
LET ME BUY YOU A BEVERAGE.
- OH, THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.
JOEY, DID YOU HAVE PLANS
FOR THIS WEEKEND?
I WAS PLANNING ON TAKING
THE GIRLS ON A CAMP-OUT.
- CAMPING? ARE YOU
SURE THAT'S WISE?
AREN'T WE COMING UP ON THE END
OF THE CONTEST?
- IN THE END, IT DOESN'T MATTER
IF WE WIN OR LOSE.
I JUST WANT THE GIRLS
TO CELEBRATE
WHAT THEY'VE ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT
WE'VE ACCOMPLISHED TOGETHER.
- TOGETHER?
- TOGETHER.
- YEAH.
I'M AT A RARE
AND INCONVENIENT LOSS FOR WORDS.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH
ABOUT THE GREAT OUTDOORS.
- WELL, YOU'VE TAUGHT THE GIRLS
SO MUCH ABOUT BAKING.
LET THEM RETURN THE FAVOR.
- COUNT ME IN.
- THE GUY
PLAYING THE DUMB MOBSTER,
HE WAS A LITTLE OVER THE TOP
IN HIS ACTING.
PLUS, WHAT RESPECTABLE GANGSTER
IS THAT STUPID?
[knocking at door]
[knocking continues]
- [girls laughing]
- AMANDA.
- OH, I'M SORRY.
DID WE WAKE YOU?
- OF COURSE NOT.
I'M A BIG BELIEVER
THAT THE EARLY RISING AVIANS
ACQUIRE MORE GRUBS
AND CATERPILLARS AND WHATNOT.
- GREAT, SO YOU CAN COME.
- WE HAVE AN EARLY BAKE SALE
DATE?
I MUST VE LEFT IT OFF
THE SCHEDULE.
- NO BAKING THIS WEEKEND.
- IT'S THE SUNNY GIRLS CAMP-OUT.
- AHH.
- YOU TALKED ME INTO STICKING
WITH THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- THE LEAST YOU CAN DO
IS THE RIGHT THING,
WHEN THE SHOE S
ON THE OTHER FOOT.
- THE ALLIGATOR SHOE.
[laughter]
- SO COME ON, JOEY.
WE'RE GONNA
TEACH YOU WILDERNESS SURVIVAL.
- ROPE-TYING.
- ORIENTEERING.
- I'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT IS.
BUT YOU ALL MAKE A PERSUASIVE
ARGUMENT NONETHELESS.
COME ON, GIRLS.
YOU REALLY DIDN'T THINK
I'D FORGET, DID YOU?
all: NO.
- GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES,
ALL RIGHT?
[all chanting]
♪ SUNNY GIRLS, SUNNY GIRLS
♪ THE WORLD S FULL OF FUN
♪ SUNNY GIRLS, SUNNY GIRLS,
TO THE TOP WE RUN ♪
- THANKS A LOT, JOEY.
- NO PROBLEM.
I'M WELL KNOWN FOR
MY EXCELLENT PACKING ABILITIES.
I'VE LOADED TONS OF TRUCKS AND
VANS WITH A VARIETY OF ITEMS.
- OH.
WELL, I DON'T MEAN JUST THIS.
I MEAN EVERYTHING.
YOU'RE GREAT WITH THE GIRLS.
AND WELL,
OUR BAKE SALE WAS IN THE COMMODE
BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG.
- YEAH, YOUR COOKIES
WERE PRETTY HORRIBLE, HUH?
- VERY FUNNY.
- YEAH,
I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
CONSTRUCTIVE TO DO WITH MY TIME,
AND THIS MIGHT BE IT.
- SHALL WE?
- YEAH.
- WOW. GREAT JOB, GIRLS.
I SEE ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS
IN YOUR FUTURE.
- THANKS, MS. "C."
- SALLY SHOWED US
HOW TO USE THE POLES.
IT'S EASY ONCE YOU KNOW.
- I PUT IN THE STAKES.
- YEAH?
OH, THAT'S PERFECT, NITA.
GREAT.
SO GRAB YOUR SLEEPING BAGS NEXT.
- YES, MS. CLAYTON.
- WELL, FOR A GIRL WITH DOUBTS
ABOUT
STICKING WITH THE SUNNY GIRLS,
YOU SURE ARE A GOOD INFLUENCE.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, MOM.
BEFORE YOU BRING ON THE
"I TOLD YOU SO,"
YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THE GREAT
OUTDOORSMAN OVER THERE.
- OH.
- YEAH.
MY INSTRUCTIONS DIDN'T TAKE.
- [laughs]
- HOW YOU DOING, AMANDA?
IS THIS THE GREAT OUTDOORS
OR WHAT?
- I THINK WE SHOULD START
WITH SOMETHING MORE BASIC.
YOU READY FOR A HIKE, JOEY?
[sigh of relief]
[buzzing]
[laughter]
[all singing]
♪ FIVE GREEN
♪ AND SPECKLED FROGS
♪ SAT ON A GREAT BIG LOG
♪ EATING THE MOST
DELICIOUS BUGS ♪
YUM, YUM.
♪ ONE JUMPED INTO THE POOL
WHERE IT WAS NICE AND COOL ♪
♪ NOW THERE ARE FOUR
SPECKLED FROGS ♪
GLUB, GLUB.
- GLUB GLUB.
- TROOP 217 AREN T
THE ONLY SUNNY GIRLS
WHO KNOW
HOW TO MAKE HOMEMADE COOKIES.
- EW!
- MOM, AT LEAST SALLY
AND THE SUNNY NERDS
ARE OFF ON THEIR CAMPING TRIP.
MAYBE WE CAN SELL
SOME OF THESE WITH THEM GONE.
- JOCELYN, I SPENT
ALL MORNING BAKING THESE.
THESE ARE FANTASTIC.
- THOSE DO LOOK SPLENDIFEROUS.
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- INDUBITABLY.
WE'VE SEEN THESE SUNNY GIRL
COOKIES ALL OVER TOWN.
BUT WE HAVEN'T BEEN
ABLE TO CATCH UP WITH YOUS.
- THIS IS FORTUITOUS.
- PLEASE, HELP YOURSELF.
FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN.
- HMM...
- AS WONDROUS AS THESE LOOK,
I'VE NOTICED THAT YOU PREVIOUSLY
HAD SOME MORE TRADITIONAL
ITALIAN COOKIES.
WOULD THOSE BE AVAILABLE?
- THAT'S NOT OUR TROOP.
THAT'S TROOP NUMBER 217.
AMANDA AND SALLY S NEW NEIGHBOR
TAUGHT THEM
ALL THESE FANCY RECIPES.
IT'S NOT FAIR.
- THEY BROUGHT IN A RINGER
ON YOU?
THAT AIN T FAIR AT ALL.
- NOT AT ALL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING UNDERSTANDING.
- IF THERE'S ONE THING
THAT WE CAN'T STAND,
IT'S A LACK OF FAIRNESS.
SAY, WHERE IS THIS NEW NEIGHBOR?
- OH, THEY ALL WENT
ON SOME CAMPING TRIP
IN THE NATIONAL PARK.
- REALLY?
THAT'S TOO BAD.
- BUT THE NEW GUY
LIVES DOWN THE STREET FROM THEM,
1754 MAPLE DRIVE.
- MAPLE DRIVE, HMM.
THANKS FOR THE INFO, KID.
- OH, WAIT. AREN'T YOU
GONNA BUY ANY COOKIES?
- MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.
I PREFER TO DO MY WORK
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.
- OH. HMM.
"BUMBLEBEES ARE SOCIAL INSECTS
"THAT ARE CHARACTERIZED
BY BLACK AND YELLOW BODY HAIRS,
OFTEN IN BANDS." HMM.
- HMM.
I DIDN'T KNOW BEES
PLAYED INSTRUMENTS.
- BANDS? YOU'RE A CORNBALL,
JOEY.
- I'VE BEEN ACCUSED OF WORSE.
THOUGH ONLY RARELY CONVICTED.
- WANT TO GO CATCH SOME BEES,
JOEY?
- IN THIS INSTANCE,
I THINK I'LL PASS.
- YOU SURE?
I BET SOME FRESH HONEY
WOULD BE GREAT
ON YOUR MAMA S PIZZELLES.
- OR THE ALMOND COOKIES.
- SO YOU UP FOR A CLIMB?
- LET'S GO.
- IF ONLY I HAD WORN
MY HIKING BOOTS.
- [laughs]
- I GOT TO TELL YOU, AMANDA,
I LOVE IT OUT HERE.
- MY PARENTS USED TO BRING ME
CAMPING HERE WHEN I WAS A KID.
NOW I GET TO BRING
MY OWN DAUGHTER.
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES
IN THE WORLD.
- I CAN SEE WHY.
YOU DON'T GET THIS IN THE CITY.
I WOULD VE LOVED
TO HAVE GROWN UP OUT HERE.
- WELL, YOU MAY HAVE MISSED OUT
DURING YOUR CHILDHOOD.
BUT AT LEAST
YOU FOUND YOUR WAY HERE NOW.
- SOMETIMES THINGS JUST WORK OUT
PRETTY GOOD, HUH?
- YEAH.
- I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN
IN A LONG TIME.
- WELL, YOU'VE EARNED
AT LEAST A COUPLE
OF SUNNY GIRLS ACHIEVEMENTS
TODAY.
- I WILL WEAR THEM WITH PRIDE.
- WHAT?
- IT'S NOT JUST THE CAMP-OUT,
AMANDA.
IT S--
THESE COUPLE WEEKS IN SUNNYDALE
WITH YOU AND THE GIRLS,
THEY'VE BEEN PRETTY GOOD.
YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY GOOD.
- SO HAVE YOU, JOEY.
IT'S FUNNY, SOMETIMES THINGS
JUST CLICK INTO PLACE.
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS
WITH THIS CONTEST ON MONDAY,
I HOPE THAT YOU STICK AROUND.
- YOU SUNNY GIRLS
AIN T GONNA SHAKE ME.
I'M LIKE THE TROOP UNCLE.
- NOT JUST FOR THE GIRLS.
- LISTEN, AMANDA.
THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU,
BUT I JUST HAVEN'T HAD THE TIME.
THE REAL REASON
I'M IN SUNNYDALE IS--
- MS. CLAYTON, MS. CLAYTON!
- MOM, JOEY.
- MS. "C."
- MOM, DINNER.
RACCOONS.
- OH, NO. THAT DON'T SOUND GOOD.
- THEY ATE EVERYTHING.
- OH, NO.
- COME ON.
- OH, UH...
WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY, JOEY?
- NOTHING THAT TRUMPS THE CRISIS
OF WILDERNESS CREATURES.
- [gasps]
- WHOA.
THEY DIDN'T JUST EAT THE FOOD.
THE LITTLE BANDITS TOOK A HUNK
OUT OF THE COOLER TOO.
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, MOM?
THAT WAS ALL OUR FOOD.
- WELL, I GUESS WE'LL HAVE
TO CUT THE TRIP SHORT
AND HEAD HOME TONIGHT.
- NO CAMPFIRES?
- NO GHOST STORIES?
- NO S MORES?
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, NONSENSE.
WE'RE NOT GONNA LET A COUPLE
RACCOONS RUIN OUR GOOD TIME.
THERE'S A CONVENIENCE STORE
UP THE WAY.
I'LL DRIVE DOWN. AND BY THE TIME
YOU GET THE CAMPFIRE GOING,
WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH S MORES
AND HOT DOGS TO EAT
YOUR LITTLE HEARTS OUT WITH.
- OH, JOEY, THANK YOU.
I'LL HOLD THE FORT
WHILE YOU'RE GONE.
- FORGET ABOUT IT.
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, AMANDA.
YOU GOT THE KEYS?
- OH, I MUST VE
LEFT THEM IN THE VAN.
- I'LL BE BACK IN A JIFF.
- JOEY, YOU REMEMBER HOW TO GET
TO THE CAR?
DON'T FORGET,
RIGHT AT THE FIRST FORK.
- LET'S GET THIS PLACE
TIDIED UP AND START A FIRE.
all: YES, MS. CLAYTON.
- LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
EASY. RIGHT AND A LEFT TO GO.
ALL RIGHT, EASY.
RIGHT, LEFT.
OR IS IT RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT,
LEFT?
RIGHT, RIGHT.
HUMAN HABITATION.
THIS IS A GOOD SIGN.
[phone ringing]
GREAT.
CALLS BUT NO DATA?
FIGURES.
HELLO.
- HEY, WHERE ARE YOU, JOEY?
- THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION.
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- I'M IN SUNNYDALE, OF COURSE.
- SO AM I.
- WE SHOULD CATCH UP.
- HOW ABOUT NOW?
I'M HEADED TO YOUR HOUSE.
- I'M OUT RIGHT NOW.
- WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE BACK?
- ANOTHER EXCELLENT QUESTION.
- JOEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
- HEY, YOU'RE BREAKING UP.
- JOEY, DON'T YOU DO THIS.
JOEY, DON'T HANG UP.
- I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
- HELLO.
HELLO!
- HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW
WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW.
NOW WHERE IS THAT PARKING LOT?
- TACTICAL SERVICES?
I NEED YOU TO TRACK MY CRIMINAL
INFORMANT S CELL PHONE.
- YOU LOOKING FOR THESE,
D AMICO?
- CHEEKS.
FISH.
HOW YOU DOING, FELLAS?
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
I CONGRATULATE YOU
ON THE WELL-EXECUTED SETUP.
- LIKE THE WAREHOUSE, RIGHT?
LET'S SEE THOSE HANDS, JOEY.
- COME ON.
NICE AND EASY, JOEY.
- EVERY TIME, JOEY.
EVERY TIME SINCE WE WAS KIDS,
YOU HIDE THE MONEY
IN A BOOK ABOUT MONEY.
YOU NEED A NEW GIMMICK.
I SPOTTED IT AS SOON AS WE
WALKED IN THAT LITTLE HOUSE
THE FEDS
GOT YOU SQUIRRELED UP IN.
- THAT'S A GOOD POINT, FISH.
I'LL BEAR IT IN MIND
IN THE FUTURE.
- FUTURE? YOU'VE DONE
SOME THINGS IN YOUR TIME.
BUT THE TAKING OF THE SUNNY
GIRLS BAKE SALE MONEY?
I MEAN, THIS HAS GOT TO BE
AN ALL-TIME NEW LOW FOR YOU.
- LOW.
- GUYS, YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG.
- OH, NO, NO.
WE GOT A RAT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT,
JOEY, YOU'RE GOING FOR A RIDE.
AND GUESS WHAT, YOU'RE DRIVING.
GET IN!
I WANT TO SEE
THOSE THIEVING HANDS OCCUPIED.
- GIRLS, I THINK JOEY IS JUST
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
- SO I'M GUESSING MR. DE ANGELIS
TOLD YOU I WAS A PROBLEM
YOU GOT TO SOLVE.
- YOU TURNED RAT, JOEY.
GAVE US UP TO THE FEDS.
I KNOWN YOU AND FISH
HERE SINCE YOU WERE
LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS.
I BROUGHT YOU UP IN THIS.
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE GOT HISTORY.
SO HOW ABOUT YOU COME WITH ME?
YOU BOYS KNOW WHAT WE DO
FOR A LIVING AIN T RIGHT,
COUNTERFEIT BABY HARNESSES.
YOU REALLY WANT TO BE
SELLING THAT KIND OF STUFF
TO THE PEOPLE
IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD?
- HE'S GOT A POINT, CHEEKS.
- NO, HE DON T, FISH.
IT'S THE JOB.
WE DO WHAT WE'RE TOLD.
WE DON'T ASK NO QUESTIONS.
THAT'S THE LIFE.
- YEAH, WELL,
MAYBE THERE'S A BETTER ONE.
MAYBE I FOUND THAT OUT HERE.
- YOU AIN T GOT MUCH OF A LIFE
LEFT THERE, D AMICO,
NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DONE.
- COME ON, CHEEKS. MAYBE THERE S
SOMETHING WE CAN WORK OUT.
- THE ONLY WORKING OUT WE RE
DOING IS GETTING THIS SNITCH
BACK TO NEW YORK,
NICE AND QUIET LIKE.
- THEN I GOT NO OTHER CHOICE
THAN TO RESPOND.
- WHOA.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JOEY?
[screaming]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JOEY?
- [groaning]
- SEE YOU AROUND, BOYS.
[groaning]
I'LL CALL YOU BOYS AN AMBULANCE.
- SALLY, CAN YOU WATCH THE GIRLS
FOR A MINUTE?
I'M GOING UP THIS HILL TO SEE
IF JOEY S ON HIS WAY BACK.
WELL, YOU SAW HIM TODAY.
GREAT IN THE KITCHEN,
NOT SO GOOD IN THE WOODS.
SALLY,
HOW ABOUT YOU LEAD THE GIRLS
IN A SONG, SO I HEAR YOU.
- OKAY.
- ♪ FIVE GREEN AND SPECKLED
FROGS ♪
all: ♪ SAT ON A GREAT BIG LOG
♪ EATING THE MOST
DELICIOUS BUGS ♪
♪ YUM, YUM
♪ ONE JUMPED INTO THE POOL
WHERE IT WAS NICE AND COOL ♪
♪ NOW THERE ARE FOUR SPECKLED
FROGS ♪
♪ GLUB GLUB
[distant singing]
- OH.
- AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT DAMAGED.
YEAH, I GOT TWO GUYS
THAT NEED AN AMBULANCE
OUT ON COUNTY ROUTE 10
NEAR DAVIS ROAD.
[phone ringing]
- THIS IS WILCOTT.
YOU'VE GOT JOEY'S SIGNAL.
WHERE IS HE?
[phone beeps]
OH, HANG ON.
HE'S CALLING IN.
JOEY.
- SO I SUPPOSE YOU KNOW
WHERE I AM NOW.
- STAY PUT. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
- WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA GO?
- ♪ WHERE IT WAS NICE AND COOL
♪ NOW THERE ARE FOUR SPECKLED
FROGS ♪
♪ FOUR GREEN AND SPECKLED
FROGS ♪
♪ SAT ON A GREAT BIG LOG
♪ EATING--
- OKAY, GIRLS, I'VE DECIDED
IT'S TOO LATE TO GO BACK NOW.
BUT EVERYTHING S GONNA BE FINE.
WE'LL STAY HERE FOR THE NIGHT.
AND THEN WE'LL HEAD BACK
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
I'VE GOT ENERGY BARS AND
EMERGENCY RATIONS IN THE VAN.
- AND WE HAVE PLENTY OF WATER.
- MY MOM PACKED EXTRA SANDWICHES
JUST IN CASE.
- WELL, THERE WE GO.
COME ON.
- WHAT ABOUT JOEY?
- I'M SURE HE'LL BE BACK AS SOON
AS HE CAN, SWEETHEART.
OKAY?
- SO THAT'S THE DEAL, AMANDA.
I'M USUALLY PRETTY SMITTEN
WITH MY WORDS,
BUT I GOT NOTHING
BUT "I'M SORRY."
- YOU ALL RIGHT?
- YEAH.
CHEEKS AND FISH DIDN'T LOOK
SO GOOD LAST TIME I SAW THEM.
- CHEEKS AND FISH ARE HERE?
- WE HAD A VISIT.
- WHERE ARE THEY?
- I'M NOT SURE ANYMORE.
- THEY NEED TO BE IN CUSTODY.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT THOSE TWO.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM?
WE HAVE TO GET YOU
OUT OF HERE TONIGHT.
- RELAX. THERE'S NO RUSH.
- DO YOU HONESTLY THINK
THAT YOU CAN STAY IN THIS TOWN
NOW THAT YOUR BUDDIES
KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE?
- I CAN FIX THIS.
- IT'S NON-NEGOTIABLE.
WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE
TONIGHT. UNDERSTAND?
- UNDERSTOOD.
- OH, BOY.
IT'S HEADQUARTERS.
THIS IS WILCOTT.
- WHAT IN THE WORLD S GOING ON
OUT THERE?
- JUST PROTECTING MY WITNESS,
SIR.
- I HEARD YOU LOST HIM.
- HE'S HERE WITH ME NOW, SIR.
BUT THERE'S A PROBLEM.
- WHAT IS IT?
- JUST A MOMENT, SIR.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER,
AGENT WILCOTT?
YOU CAN'T SPEAK FREELY
IN FRONT OF YOUR WITNESS?
- VERY FUNNY.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- SIR, I HAVE A CLEAR AND
PRESENT THREAT TO MY WITNESS.
I NEED A NEW WITSEC SAFE HOUSE
IMMEDIATELY.
YES, SIR.
COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD, SIR.
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, SIR.
HEY, HEY, JOEY, NO.
SIR , SORRY TO CHANGE
THE SUBJECT.
BUT CAN YOU SEND A CAR FOR ME?
- ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
- I TAKE THAT'S A NO.
- OW, OW, OW.
- THAT'S WHAT THE SLING IS FOR.
YOU GOT TO KEEP
THAT IMMOBILIZED.
- IT'S MY PHONE.
IT'S JOEY.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
- FISH, HOW S THINGS?
- HOW DO YOU THINK THEY ARE,
JOEY?
- LISTEN.
I CALLED TO ARRANGE A SIT-DOWN.
LET'S MEET UP
AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT.
- HE WANTS TO MEET.
- GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.
- WHERE D YOU HAVE IN MIND?
- PAPA MANGIA S, LITTLE
ITALIAN JOINT ON MAIN STREET.
YOU KNOW IT?
- PAPA MANGIA S?
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- WE'VE BEEN THERE. WHAT TIME?
- MEET ME THERE IN THE MORNING,
11:00.
AND BRING THE FINANCE BOOK.
- HE SAID BRING THE FINANCE BOOK
TO PAPA MANGIA S IN THE MORNING.
- HOPE YOU ENJOY THAT,
AGENT WILCOTT.
IT'S THE LAST TIME
TONIGHT YOU'LL BE ABLE
TO TRACK MY LOCATION.
- THE GIRLS DIDN'T SEEM
TO SUFFER OF LOSS OF FOOD.
IN FACT, IT WAS A TERRIFIC
LESSON FOR THEM.
- WELL, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW
WHAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH
WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SACRIFICE.
SO THE GUY
AT THE CONVENIENCE STORE
SAID THAT HE DIDN'T SEE
JOEY ALL NIGHT.
I DIDN'T WANT
TO SCARE THE GIRLS.
- WE SHOULD VE WAITED FOR HIM.
HE COULD VE GOTTEN LOST.
- YEAH,
I MIGHT JUST RUN BY HIS HOUSE
AND MAKE SURE THAT HE'S OKAY.
- I'M COMING TOO.
- NO, SALLY,
STAY HERE AND UNPACK THE LUGGAGE
AND GO INSIDE.
- BUT, MOM--JOEY--I WANT TO--
- SALLY, PLEASE.
GO AND WAIT INSIDE.
- YES, SIR, WE HAVE EVERYTHING
UNDER CONTROL.
THE HOUSE IS SECURE.
THEY DID TRASH IT PRETTY GOOD,
THOUGH.
MY HUNCH, THEY PROBABLY
FOUND OUT WHERE HE WAS.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- HOLD ON JUST A SECOND.
NO, NO, EVERYTHING
IS FINE, MA AM.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE
YOUR WAY BACK HOME.
- BUT JOEY, IS HE--
- YOU KNOW JOEY?
- JOEY TANNENBAUM, YES.
HE LIVES HERE.
- MA AM, I'M NOT AT LIBERTY
TO DISCUSS
AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION.
- BUT WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
JOEY S A FRIEND.
HE WAS WITH US LAST NIGHT
AND THEN--
- MA AM, YOU NO LONGER
NEED TO CONCERN YOURSELF
WITH JOSEPH TANNENBAUM.
HIS DAYS IN SUNNYDALE
HAVE COME TO AN END.
- HE'S GONE?
HE JUST LEFT US?
- MA AM, MAYBE IT'S JUST BEST
IF YOU IMAGINE THAT HE WAS NEVER
HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- BUT--WAIT.
DID YOU FIND SOME ENVELOPES
WITH CASH IN THEM?
HE WAS HOLDING ON TO SOME MONEY
OF OURS FOR THE BAKE SALE.
- A GUY LIKE JOEY?
IF HE WAS HOLDING ON
TO YOUR MONEY,
IT'S LONG GONE NOW.
YES, SIR.
NO, EVERYTHING S FINE. YES.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- WELL, YOU WOULDN T BELIEVE IT.
I HAVE TO GO TO MY DAUGHTER.
- SO WHAT HAPPENED
AT JOEY S HOUSE?
IS HE OKAY, MOM?
- JOEY S--
HE WENT AWAY.
- YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS.
JOEY CALLED LAST NIGHT.
HE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING.
HE'S IN THE WITNESS RELOCATION
PROGRAM.
HE'S ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS,
BUT HE COUNDN'T TELL YOU.
AND THESE BAD GUYS, THEY RE--
- WITNESS RELOCATION.
OF COURSE.
LOOK, HE WENT AWAY.
HE TOOK ALL THE MONEY
FROM THE BAKE SALE WITH HIM.
- JUST LISTEN TO HIM,
MOM, PLEASE.
MOM.
- LOOK, SALLY, THE FUNDRAISING
CONTEST ENDS TOMORROW.
IT ENDS, AND WE'VE GOT NOTHING
TO SHOW
FOR ALL OF OUR HARD WORK.
I JUST NEED A LITTLE TIME, OKAY?
- YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE.
WHO EATS THIS MUCH FOOD
IN THE MORNING?
- ITALIANS.
JUST BRING OUT THE DRINKS
WE DISCUSSED AND BE READY
FOR WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT.
- WELL, WELL, WELL,
IF IT ISN'T OUR GOOD FRIEND,
JOEY D AMICO.
I'M SURPRISED
YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP.
- MAY I?
- PLEASE.
- DID YOU BRING THE MONEY?
- WHAT IS IT WITH THIS?
- YEAH, AIN T VERY MUCH MONEY
IN THERE, JOEY. SMALL POTATOES.
YOU'D THINK YOUR FREEDOM
WOULD BE WORTH MORE.
- HERE WE ARE,
THREE GENUINE ITALIAN SODAS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH THE REST.
- THE REST?
- OH, YEAH.
I PUT IN AN ORDER ON THE WAY.
I FIGURED WE'D BE IN A HURRY.
- THAT'S JOEY,
ALWAYS THINKING AHEAD.
- FINE. YOU WANT TO EAT,
I GOT NO PROBLEM WITH THAT.
BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE
WHY WE'RE HERE.
- ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I'M GONNA
REACH IN MY POCKET, VERY SLOWLY.
FISH,
YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WAS KIDS,
AND MAMA USED
TO COOK THESE ALL THE TIME?
- THE BEST.
- AND, CHEEKS,
YOU USED TO ALWAYS TALK ABOUT US
MAKING SOMETHING OF OURSELVES.
YOU USED TO BE A FATHER FIGURE
TO US.
YOU WANTED FISH AND ME TO BECOME
PILLARS OF SOCIETY,
ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT US STAYING
IN SCHOOL, ET CETERA, ET CETERA.
IT'S KIND OF CRAZY.
I THINK I FOUND MY PLACE
HERE IN SUNNYDALE.
- SALLY?
- I KNOW WE CAN'T CATCH UP
TO WHERE WE WERE.
BUT I FIGURED IT D BE BETTER
NOT TO GO IN EMPTY-HANDED.
YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW MANY PEOPLE
LIKE COOKIES FOR BREAKFAST.
- THAT IS SO SWEET OF YOU.
- ONCE A SUNNY GIRL...
- ALWAYS A SUNNY GIRL.
[sighs]
I REALLY MESSED THIS ONE UP.
- NO, YOU DIDN T.
JOEY S A GOOD MAN.
HE TAUGHT US A LOT.
- HE LIED TO US.
AND NOW I HAVE TO PAY THE PIPER,
AND CONSTANCE IS GONNA
WIN THIS COMPETITION.
- WE'RE GOING WITH YOU.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA SEE MS. "B"
ALONE.
- OH.
- WE GOT YOUR BACK.
- ARE YOU OKAY, MS. CLAYTON?
- YOU KNOW WHAT,
THE CONTEST DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE THE BEST SUNNY GIRLS
ANYONE COULD EVER HOPE FOR.
- FOUR SIDES OF ARRIBBIATA
AND A FLORENTINE FRITTATA
ON THE WAY.
- I GAVE THEM A FEW POINTERS
RIGHT OUT OF MAMA S KITCHEN.
- OKAY, LET'S EAT.
- ALL RIGHT.
- EGGPLANT. YOU KNOW,
I ALWAYS THOUGHT EGGS CAME
FROM CHICKENS, NOT FROM PLANTS.
BUT YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW
EVERY DAY, YOU KNOW.
[laughing]
[indistinct speech]
IT JUST KEEPS COMING OUT.
YOU WANT SOME BREAD?
- YEAH, PASS ME THE BREAD,
PLEASE.
OH, LOOK AT THIS.
- INCOMING.
OH, NO! THE COOKIES,
THE COOKIES.
- OH, NICE. YEAH.
- OH, MAN.
NOTHING
LIKE A GOOD FRITTATA, YOU KNOW?
- BOY.
- I CAN'T EAT ANYMORE, JOEY.
- LOOK, GUYS, I REALLY
APPRECIATE THIS LAST HURRAH.
IT'S MEANT A LOT TO ME.
[Italian music]
♪
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW?
- BATHROOM.
- WHAT A WONDERFUL MEAL.
PLEASE ACCEPT MY--
GRATUITY.
- HEY, THAT SNEAK.
HE TOOK THE MONEY.
- HE GOT MY WALLET TOO.
- HE'S GOT MINE TOO.
- YOU FELLAS AIN T GOING NOWHERE
UNTIL SOMEBODY PAYS THAT BILL.
- HE'S GOT OUR MONEY.
- WE'RE NOT GOING
TO HAVE A PROBLEM HERE, ARE WE?
- MY GIRLS DID JUST SUCH
A WONDERFUL JOB
WITH THIS FUNDRAISER.
- MM-HMM.
OH, FINALLY. THERE SHE IS.
LOOK AT THAT, MRS. "B,"
AMANDA BROUGHT HER TROOP.
SHE MUST BE VERY CONFIDENT
OF VICTORY.
- WIN OR LOSE, TROOP 217
DOES IT TOGETHER, CONSTANCE.
- HELLO, AMANDA.
HELLO, GIRLS.
SO NICE TO SEE YOU ALL TOGETHER.
CONSTANCE HAS BEEN ITCHING
TO BRAG ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY
HER TROOP RAISED.
I WANTED TO HOLD OFF
TILL YOU ARRIVED.
- THANKS, MS. "B."
- SO THE SPIRIT OF COMPETITION
IS STILL CLEARLY ALIVE AND WELL.
LET'S GO INSIDE AND SEE
WHO TOOK THE MOST ADVANTAGE.
COME ON.
COME ON, GIRLS.
- I THINK WE
ALL KNOW THAT ANSWER.
- PARDON ME, SIR.
WHAT ARE YOU, ABOUT A SIZE 12?
P.A. announcement: YOUR
ATTENTION PLEASE,
WE WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU TO
KEEP YOUR BAGS WITH YOU
AT ALL TIMES.
[engine starts]
- THANKS.
YOU'RE A SAINT.
- AND HOW DID YOUR FUNDRAISING
GO, AMANDA?
- IT WENT...
WONDERFULLY.
THESE GIRLS ARE AMAZING.
THEY LEARNED TO BAKE,
THEY LEARNED TO SELL,
AND THEY HAD LINES ALL THE WAY
AROUND THE BLOCK.
I COUNDN'T BE MORE PROUD
OF THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
- THAT'S THE SPIRIT I LIKE,
AMANDA.
LUCY, NITA, PING,
SALLY, YOU SHOULD BE
VERY PROUD OF YOURSELVES.
- YES, SO PROUD.
NOW LET'S SEE WHO SOLD MORE.
- WE DID OUR BEST.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
both: WE MADE THE BEST COOKIES.
- VERY WELL. AMANDA--
- JOEY?
- JOEY?
- HEY, GIRLS. SORRY I'M LATE.
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
all: NICE SHOES.
- YEAH.
- COME ON.
- YOUNG MAN,
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, JOEY?
- FOR ONCE, I AGREE WITH AMANDA.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE DONE
ENOUGH ALREADY, COOKIE RINGER?
- NOT NEARLY. AMANDA,
DIDN'T YOU GET MY MESSAGE?
- YES. LOUD AND CLEAR,
MR. D AMICO, WHEN YOU LEFT US
AND STOLE OUR MONEY.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHO YOU REALLY ARE, JOEY.
- OKAY, THAT'S FAIR.
I UNDERSTAND YOU MIGHT BE
A LITTLE UPSET.
SOME OF THE THINGS
I SAID WERE UNTRUE.
BUT THE GUY THAT WENT CAMPING
WITH YOU GIRLS,
THE GUY WHO BAKED COOKIES
WITH YOU,
THE GUY WHO TOOK YOU TO DINNER,
THAT GUY S ALL TRUE.
- WELL, THE BEST LIES
ARE HALF-TRUTHS.
AND SOMETHING TELLS ME
YOU'RE QUITE THE EXPERT
IN THAT DEPARTMENT.
- I WAS SUPPOSED TO BLEND IN,
KEEP A LOW PROFILE,
JUST FOR A FEW WEEKS.
BUT THEN I MET YOU
AND THE GIRLS.
AND I DID SOMETHING
I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO.
- WELL, A GUY LIKE YOU SEEMS
TO HAVE ALL ANGLES COVERED.
WHAT MISTAKES
COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE MADE?
- MORE LIKE A FORTUNATE
ACCIDENT, REALLY.
I FELL IN LOVE.
all: OOH.
- I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU,
AMANDA.
- WOW, MOM.
- OH, JOEY--
- [clears throat]
- THIS IS ALL REALLY LOVELY,
BUT WE ARE HERE
TO COUNT THE MONEY.
THE WINNER BECOMES THE OFFICIAL
SUNNYDALE GIRL ADVENTURERS
TROOP, AND THE LOSERS DISBAND.
WE ALL DID AGREE, RIGHT?
- SHE'S GOT A POINT.
- HERE.
- WHOA.
- THERE SHOULD BE
ABOUT $6,000 IN THERE.
AND ACCORDING TO THIS CONTEST,
AMANDA S TROOP SHOULD WIN.
- THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
YOUR COOKIES CAN'T BE THAT GOOD.
MRS. "B," HE'S A RINGER.
- IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE MONEY.
LOOK, AMANDA,
YOU MAY NOT HAVE A REASON TO,
BUT YOU GOT TO BELIEVE
THAT I ONLY TOOK OFF
CAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
- YOU'RE HERE NOW.
THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
RIGHT, MOM?
- WELL, UNFORTUNATELY,
I CAN'T STAY LONG.
BUT I COUNDN'T LEAVE WITH YOU
THINKING
THAT I BETRAYED YOUR TRUST.
I GOT TO GO. I'M SORRY.
ME BEING HERE ONLY
MAKES YOU IN DANGER.
GOOD-BYE, AMANDA.
- JOEY, WAIT.
- OKAY, JOEY, GAME S OVER.
KIND OF DISAPPOINTED I WAS RIGHT
ABOUT YOU COMING BACK
TO RETURN THE MONEY WE STOLE.
- OKAY, OKAY, I'M GOING.
- JOEY, YOU CAME BACK FOR US,
EVEN THOUGH YOU KNEW
THESE GUYS WOULD CATCH YOU.
- FORGET ABOUT IT.
IT WAS REALLY NICE MAKING
ACQUAINTANCE WITH YOU LADIES.
FELLAS, SHALL WE?
- YEAH, LET'S GET
THIS OVER WITH.
STEP ASIDE, STEP ASIDE.
WE'RE LEAVING.
- NOT SO FAST.
- HEY, IT'S THE AGENT.
- YEAH, EXCEPT THIS TIME
HE DIDN'T BRING ANY OF HIS FED
FRIENDS TO BACK HIM UP.
IT APPEARS HE'S COME ALONE.
BIG MISTAKE.
- OH, I BROUGHT BACKUP.
- VINCENTE, ROBERTO,
IF YOUR MOTHERS
WERE ALIVE TO SEE THIS,
THEY WOULD DROP DEAD
ON THE SPOT.
YOU COME HERE MENACING
THESE NICE PEOPLE?
AND FOR WHAT?
YOU WANT TO HURT JOEY
BECAUSE HE TRIED TO GO STRAIGHT?
- MAMA--
- UH-OH.
- MAMA, RIGHT.
YOU BOYS ARE GONNA
DO THE RIGHT THING.
YOU'RE GONNA DO YOUR TIME,
AND YOU'RE GONNA STOP
ALL THIS NONSENSE.
NOW SIT DOWN.
AND YOU STAY THERE
UNTIL I TELL YOU TO MOVE.
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
- WE'RE GONNA SIT HERE
UNTIL YOU TELL US TO GET UP.
- UM, SO I'M ASSUMING
THAT THEY'RE DISQUALIFIED.
I MEAN, REALLY, THEY'VE GOT
THE MAFIA HERE ON THEIR BEHALF.
- LISTEN, MISSY.
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A PEEP
OUT OF YOU.
JOEY S TOLD ME EVERYTHING
ABOUT YOU.
SOME LEADER YOU ARE,
YOU BUYING COOKIES AND PASSING
THEM OFF AS YOUR OWN.
YOU'RE NO DIFFERENT
THAN THESE MOOKS.
- OKAY, GREAT. I WILL--
I'LL JUST SIT RIGHT HERE
UNTIL YOU TELL ME TO MOVE.
GOT IT.
- HOW YOU DOING?
- AND ONE OTHER THING.
HOW MUCH MONEY
DID MISSY S TROOP RAISE?
- $4,212.
- AND AMANDA S?
- JOEY SAID OVER 6,000.
- SO SUNNY GIRL ADVENTURERS
MADE OVER $10,000.
CONSIDERING EVERYTHING,
I DON'T THINK THIS IS TOO BAD.
- YOU KNOW, SHE'S RIGHT.
$10,000 WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE
THAN THE SUNNYDALE TROOP
HAS EVER RAISED.
IT MIGHT PUT US IN CONTENTION
FOR THE NATIONAL PRIZE.
all: [cheering]
OKAY, IT'S ALL SETTLED.
I AM COMBINING BOTH TROOPS
INTO ONE...
- YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
- UNDER THE LEADERSHIP
OF AMANDA.
COUNTERFEIT COOKIES.
- AND YOU.
- MAMA, I CAN EXPLAIN.
- YOU THINK YOUR MAMA S A FOOL.
- NO, I DON T. I--
- STOP WITH THE STORIES.
I ALWAYS KNEW WHO YOU WERE
AND WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
- MAMA, PLEASE,
I DIDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
- YOU KNOW, ALL THOSE LIES
YOU TOLD ME ALL THE YEARS,
I ALWAYS KNEW.
BUT INSIDE, I KNEW YOU WERE
A GOOD BOY WITH A BIG HEART.
SO WHEN PUSH COME TO SHOVE,
I KNEW YOU WOULD LOVE ME
UNCONDITIONALLY.
- OH.
- THAT'S MY BOY.
[chuckles]
THAT'S AMORE.
[upbeat music]
♪
♪
- COOL AS ICE, EASY AS PIE.
- SOME PIE SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD
RIGHT ABOUT NOW, JOEY.
I'M STARVING OVER HERE.
- CAN IT, FISH.
- SO NICE TO FINALLY BE MEETING
YOU IN PERSON, MR. LOPAN,
AFTER SO MANY YEARS
OF SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS TOGETHER.
- LIKEWISE, MR. D AMICO.
- THESE ARE MY ASSOCIATES,
MR. CHEEKS AND MR. FISH.
BABY HARNESSES?
- IT'S JUST
LIKE THE POPULAR BRAND.
MINE HAS HIGH-QUALITY,
NON-TOXIC MATERIALS
USED FOR MANUFACTURING,
BUT IT SELL LIKE HOTCAKES.
- FINE. WE'LL TAKE THEM.
[tires squealing]
- EVERYBODY FREEZE! FBI!
HANDS IN THE AIR!
- DON'T MOVE!
- MOVE OUT!
- FREEZE!
- CHECK THE VEHICLES,
CHECK THE VEHICLES.
- [grunts]
- THERE'S NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN,
D AMICO.
- LOCKED!
- DON T.
- HOLD IT, DON'T MOVE!
- CHEEKS, IT'S JOEY.
- YOU'LL NEVER
TAKE ME ALIVE, FEDS.
both: DON'T DO IT, JOEY.
- TOP OF THE WORLD, MA.
[gunshots]
- TAKE 'EM OVER TO NORTHSIDE.
- MOVE IT.
[overlapping chatter]
- HE WAS A SAINT,
I TELL YOU,
SOMEBODY YOU COULD TRUST,
TRUE FRIEND TO THE END.
- ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I'M GOING.
TAKE IT EASY.
- TOP OF THE WORLD?
REALLY?
- [chuckles]
WANTED TO GO OUT WITH
A LITTLE PANACHE, AGENT WILCOTT.
- PANACHE.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
[soft string music]
♪
- HOW DO THEY LOOK, SALLY?
- DON'T KNOW, NITA. THEY RE
STILL PRETTY SOFT IN THE MIDDLE.
- OH, HOW SOFT IS SOFT?
- PRETTY SOFT, MOM.
- I RESERVED OUR TABLE
AT THE SAINT BARNABY'S S CRAFT
FAIR FOR 8:00 A.M.,
AND WE'RE RUNNING LATE.
- IF WE DON'T MAKE IT IN TIME,
YOU JUST KNOW TROOP 119 S GONNA
TAKE OUR SPOT.
- BUT OUR TROOP CAN ONLY BECOME
THE NATIONAL FACE
OF THE SUNNY GIRLS IF WE
SELL MORE IN THE BAKE SALE.
- I KNOW, GIRLS, I KNOW.
BUT AS LONG AS WE MAKE
THE BEST BAKED GOODS,
PEOPLE WILL COME TO US.
- HERE YOU GO.
HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY GIRL DAY.
OH, BRING IT UP, BRING IT UP.
OH, GUYS, THAT IS AMAZING.
GREAT JOB.
- WHAT'S GOING ON, MOM?
- TROOP 119 STOLE OUR TABLE.
- IT'S NOT FAIR.
- THEY DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING,
GIRLS.
THERE MUST VE
BEEN SOME CONFUSION
WITH THE ORGANIZING COMMITTEE.
THEY RESERVED A SPOT
FOR THE SUNNY GIRLS AND--
- CONSTANCE AND HER GLAMOUR
GIRLS STOLE OUR SPOT.
- WE'LL BE FINE.
WE'LL JUST SET UP HERE.
- MOM, WE HAD THE BEST SPOT
IN THE WHOLE STREET,
RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE OAK TREE.
- THEY DON'T PLAY FAIR.
HOW ARE WE GONNA WIN IF THEY--
- UH-UH-UH.
WINNING IS NOT EVERYTHING,
GIRLS.
IT'S NOT AS IMPORTANT AS HAVING
FUN AND LEARNING NEW SKILLS.
- REALLY, MOM?
I GOT A SKILL.
- OH, HI, SALLY.
- CONSTANCE.
I SEE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SET UP
IN THE PRIME LOCATION.
WHAT DID YOU DO, CAMP OUT?
- AS A MATTER OF FACT WE DID.
THE GIRLS HAVE JUST BEEN
CLAMORING FOR A SLUMBER PARTY.
- THAT MUST VE BEEN DELIGHTFUL,
JOCELYN, UP ALL NIGHT,
TRADING FASHION TIPS,
DOING YOUR NAILS.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
YOUR INVITATION MUST HAVE GOTTEN
LOST IN THE MAIL.
- THAT MAKES ME WONDER.
WHEN DID YOU EVER FIND TIME
TO BAKE ALL THESE?
- ARE YOU LOOKING FOR YOUR MOM?
I THINK AMANDA AND TROOP 217
FOUND A TABLE
MORE SUITED FOR THE QUALITY
OF THEIR PRODUCTS.
REMEMBER, A SUNNY GIRL
ALWAYS SHOWS INITIATIVE.
- THE ONLY INITIATIVE
YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER HAVE
IS BUYING A BUNCH OF COOKIES,
SO YOU CAN GET OUT OF THE WORK.
- YOU CAN'T TALK
TO MY MOM LIKE THAT.
- YUP, STORE-BOUGHT.
WANT TO TASTE HOMEMADE?
- OH!
- OH, MY.
- HOW DARE YOU!
- FIGHT!
- GIRLS, STOP THAT!
- OH, YOU LITTLE MONSTER!
- THAT IS ENOUGH!
- [whistle]
STOP THAT AT ONCE!
- WAY OUT OF LINE.
- YEAH.
- WHAT A SHAME.
- THEY'RE SUNNY GIRLS,
AREN'T THEY?
- WELL, I THINK CHEEKS
AND FISH BOUGHT IT.
- LET'S HOPE SO.
THE LAST THING
I NEED IS MY FORMER ASSOCIATES
SOMEHOW DEDUCING
THAT I COLLUDED WITH THE FEDS.
- HEY, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
WE'RE HALFWAY HOME.
ONCE YOU GET TO THE AIRPORT,
YOU CAN GET ON A PLANE
TO SOMEWHERE THAT NO ONE HAS
EVER EVEN HEARD OF JOEY D AMICO.
BEST WAY TO DO THAT
IS FAR AWAY FROM HERE.
WITNESS PROTECTION,
LIKE WE DISCUSSED.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, ONE STOP,
THEN WE CAN GO.
FIVE, TEN MINUTES.
- GET IN.
- SO TELL ME ABOUT THIS NEW JOB
YOU HAVE UNDERCOVER
WITH THE FBI.
- YOU SEE, MAMA, THAT'S KIND
OF THE REASON I'M HERE.
ME AND AGENT "W" HERE,
WE'VE GOT TO GO ON
AN ASSIGNMENT, DEEP UNDERCOVER.
- WOW.
- YOU PROBABLY WON'T SEE ME
FOR A WHILE.
IT'S FBI STUFF.
IT'S VERY HUSH-HUSH.
- YOU'RE GONNA GO, AND YOU RE
GONNA LEAVE YOUR MAMA ALL ALONE?
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
- YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT HERE,
AGENT "W"?
- MAMA, I KNOW IT'S A LOT
TO BEAR,
BUT AMERICA NEEDS
ITS BEST FBI AGENT ON THIS CASE.
AND THAT MAN IS JOEY D AMICO.
- OH, I LOVE YOU. OH.
- HEY, AGENT "W", BETTER EAT UP.
YOU'RE GONNA HURT HER FEELINGS.
- TROOP 217 SHOULD VE NEVER BEEN
CHARTERED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- THE WAY I REMEMBER
IT WAS YOUR DAUGHTER, JOCELYN,
THAT COVERED YOUR UNIFORM
IN THAT FROSTING MAKEOVER.
- AFTER YOUR DAUGHTER
INSTIGATED THIS ENTIRE MESS
WITH HER BASELESS ACCUSATION.
- SALLY WAS OUT OF LINE.
- OUT OF LINE
IS ONLY THE HALF OF IT.
YOUR TROOP CONSISTENTLY DISPLAYS
AN ILL-MANNERED DISREGARD
FOR EVERYTHING THAT A SUNNY--
- LADIES, I DON'T KNOW
WHY IT IS THE TWO OF YOU
CAN'T WORK WITH EACH OTHER.
BUT FROM NOW ON,
YOU'RE GOING TO GET ALONG.
SUNNYDALE IS WHERE THE SUNNY
GIRLS WERE BORN BACK 1896.
THIS IS OUR HOME.
THE WINNER OF THIS FUNDRAISING
DRIVE WILL BE THE FACE
OF THE SUNNY GIRLS
ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
MAY THE BEST TROOP WIN.
- WE'RE REALLY SORRY,
MS. CLAYTON.
- SUPER SORRY.
- IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT'S ALL ON ME.
- WE JUST HAVE TO TRUST
THAT WE'LL WIN
IF WE MAKE THE BETTER SWEETS.
- HOW ARE WE GONNA DO
THAT IF THEY'RE ALWAYS CHEATING?
- SALLY,
TOMORROW S A FRESH START.
WE'LL JUST CHALK TODAY
UP TO EXPERIENCE.
- YES, MA AM.
- YES, MS. CLAYTON.
- OKAY.
- MS. CLAYTON,
IS SALLY GONNA BE OKAY?
- YES. SHE'LL BE FINE.
NOW YOU GIRLS RIDE HOME SAFE,
BECAUSE TOMORROW MORNING,
WE BAKE.
all: YES!
- WHERE CAN WE
GET A BITE TO EAT
AROUND THIS
SLEEPY LITTLE TOWN HERE?
- JUST MOVED IN?
- IT APPEARS SO.
- I'M SALLY. MY MOM AND I,
WE LIVE UP THE STREET.
WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
- WELL, THANK YOU, SALLY.
I'M JOEY...TANNENBAUM.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK, JOEY?
FRIENDLY NEIGHBORS,
QUIET STREET.
PRETTY GOOD PLACE FOR A BREAK.
- IT'S QUAINT.
- IT'S ONLY UNTIL THE TRIAL
STARTS, ALL RIGHT?
JUST REMEMBER RULE NUMBER ONE.
JOEY TANNENBAUM
IS MR. LOW PROFILE.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- JOEY, HOW ABOUT THE KEYS?
- [exhales]
- [grunts]
PRETTY NICE, HUH?
- IF THIS FEDERAL AGENT THING
DON'T WORK OUT FOR YOU,
I KNOW A FEW SHORT-STAY MOTELS
THAT LL SNAP YOU
RIGHT UP AS A DECORATOR.
- HA-HA.
- YOU DONE THIS BEFORE, WILCOTT,
THIS WITNESS RELOCATION RACKET?
- NOPE. YOU'RE MY GUINEA PIG.
- KIND OF FILLS ME
WITH THE KIND OF CONFIDENCE
THAT MAKES A MAN
REEVALUATE HIS LIFE DECISIONS.
- LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS HARD.
YOU'RE IN
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD
THAN THE ONE
THAT YOU'RE USED TO.
- THE WORLD I'M USED
TO INCLUDES A 67-INCH TV,
A SKYLINE VIEW, A HOT TUB,
A PORSCHE WITH A SLANT NOSE.
- YOU DO HAVE A BIKE.
- MAYBE I'LL GET A PAPER ROUTE.
- JOEY, YOU'RE DOING
THE RIGHT THING.
YOUR TESTIMONY IS GETTING SOME
VERY BAD MEN OFF THE STREET.
JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN
SO YOUR OLD FRIENDS
DON'T GET A BEAT
ON WHERE YOU ARE,
AND YOU CAN ENJOY A FEW
HAPPY WEEKS AS JOEY TANNENBAUM.
OKAY, I'M HEADING INTO THE CITY
TO CHECK
IN WITH THE LOCAL FIELD OFFICE.
I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL TONIGHT,
CHECK IN, SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING.
- I'LL BE ON MY NEW COUCH
LIKE A GOOD BOY.
- YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE
OF THOSE FOR THE ROAD?
- ONCE YOU HAVE ONE OF MY MAMA S
COOKIES, YOU CAN'T STOP IT.
- YEAH, I HEAR THAT.
YEAH. MMM.
- HEY, HEY, HEY.
CATCH YOU LATER.
- OKAY.
- "JOEY, MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL,
YOU'RE TOO SKINNY."
[chuckles]
"THESE ARE ALL MY NONNA S SECRET
RECIPES FROM THE OLD COUNTRY,
"SO WHEN YOU COME HOME,
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
"MS. PASCALANO S BOY ANTHONY
WITH HIS CHICKEN LEGS.
LOVE, MAMA."
THANKS, MA.
[knock at door]
- HEY, KIDDO.
I CAN UNDERSTAND
HOW MAD YOU GOT, SALLY.
THAT'S NOT HOW WE DEAL
WITH OUR PROBLEMS.
YELLING AT PEOPLE--
- IT'S NOT THE SUNNY GIRL WAY.
WHY DO YOU DO THIS, MOM?
- DO WHAT?
- RUNNING THE TROOP.
YOU SPEND ALL YEAR TEACHING KIDS
AND THEN ALL SUMMER
WITH THE SUNNY GIRLS.
DON'T YOU WANT ANY TIME
FOR YOU?
- WELL, THIS IS TIME FOR ME.
FOR US.
REMEMBER OUR FIRST CAMP-OUT,
WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN?
- OF COURSE.
THE GHOST STORIES.
- WE HAD SO MUCH FUN.
I GUESS I JUST WANT TO
RECAPTURE THAT TIME WITH YOU.
- I'M SORRY, MOM.
I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS.
I DON'T THINK
I'M A SUNNY GIRL ANYMORE.
- OH, BUT, SALLY, PENELOPE,
LUCY, NITA, THEY IDOLIZE YOU.
YOU'RE THEIR LEADER.
YOU LOVE THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.
I'M OLDER NOW.
SUNNY GIRLS IS FOR KIDS,
AND THAT'S NOT ME.
- BUT IT'S OUR THING.
IT'S WHAT WE DO TOGETHER.
- IT'S WHAT YOU DO, MOM.
- GENTLEMEN,
JOEY D AMICO IS ALIVE.
- WHAT?
- JOEY MADE IT?
- THIS NEWS SHOULD NOT INSPIRE
HAPPINESS, YOU RUBES.
- JOEY S BEING ALIVE
IS SCINTILLATING INFORMATION.
- LOOK WHO HE'S STANDING WITH.
- HEY, THAT'S THE FED.
- YEAH.
YOUR PAL JOEY
HAS TURNED STATE S EVIDENCE,
AND NOW HE'S MADE
HIMSELF SCARCE.
IF HE GOES TO YOUR TRIAL,
YOU CAN COUNT ON TWO THINGS.
ONE, THIS WHOLE OPERATION
COMES DOWN AROUND OUR EARS.
AND TWO, WE'RE ALL GOING INSIDE
FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
- HE'S OUR CAPO.
- NOT ANYMORE. CAPISCE?
YOU'RE IN A DEEP MESS, BOYS.
FIND YOUR PAL JOEY
AND GET HIM BACK HERE.
- HELLO, LADIES.
- HI.
- NOW WE'RE TALKING.
FLOUR, EGGS, RICOTTA.
HOW MUCH TROUBLE CAN I GET INTO
WITH A QUICK TRIP TO THE STORE?
HEY THERE, LITTLE GIRL.
- HI. I'M PING.
- WELL, I WOULD GUESS BY THE WAY
YOU'RE STANDING IN MY PATH
AND THAT ADORABLE UNIFORM, YOU
GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND
YOU'D LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH ME.
- YOU TALK FUNNY.
- THE USE OF OVERWROUGHT
VOCABULARY
AND CIRCUITOUS SENTENCES
IS ONE OF MY THINGS.
IT MAKES PEOPLE THINK I M
SOMETHING OF A LYRICAL SCHOLAR.
- THAT SEEMS LIKE A SENSIBLE
AND INDEED EFFECTIVE APPROACH.
- GOOD WORK, KID.
YOU'RE QUICK.
NOW WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?
- WOULD YOU LIKE
TO BUY A COOKIE?
- YOU HAVE CAPTIVATED
MY INTEREST.
IT JUST SO HAPPENS I'M GONNA
GO PURCHASE THE INGREDIENTS
TO BAKE COOKIES OF MY OWN.
YOU COULD SAVE ME SOME TIME.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
- OH, OKAY.
COME ON.
- WHOA, WHOA.
HERE YOU GO.
- THANKS.
MS. CLAYTON, THIS MAN
WANTS TO BUY SOMETHING.
- OH, THAT'S GREAT, PING.
WE'RE HAVING A FUNDRAISER
TO SUPPORT THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- OH, WELL, I'D BE HONORED
TO HELP OUT THE CAUSE.
WHAT KIND OF TREATS
ARE WE WORKING WITH?
- GINGER-LEMONGRASS SCONES,
WHEAT GERM-ORANGE RED MUFFINS.
- THESE ARE CHARD-CARROT TEA
CAKES.
- WELL, THEY ALL SOUND HEALTHY.
- EVERYTHING'S HOMEMADE
AND ORGANIC.
- UM...
WE GOT A WINNER.
HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?
- ONE AMERICAN DOLLAR.
- OKAY.
HOW ABOUT A 20?
WE'LL CALL IT A RETAINER
IF I REQUIRE MORE SERVICES,
MS. CLAYTON.
- OH, AMANDA.
IT WAS MISTER?
- JOEY. JOEY TANNENBAUM.
- WELL, THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.
WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT, JOEY.
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
- EVERYONE JUST PLAY COOL,
ALL RIGHT.
- WE MADE 19 SALES
BUT HAD 11 RETURNS.
STILL, WITH WHAT JOEY GAVE US--
- HE WAS COOL.
HE WAS, LIKE--
- DIFFERENT.
PENELOPE, LUCY, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO GET OUR LUNCH FROM THE VAN?
- YOU BET, MS. "C."
- HEY!
- COME ON!
- NO.
- WHOOPS, DID I GET YOU?
SORRY, BUDDY.
DON'T WORRY, LADIES.
JUST A LITTLE MISUNDERSTANDING.
YOU'RE A KLUTZ, PAL.
HEY, HEY, I WOULDN T DO
THAT IF I WERE YOU.
YOU SIT DOWN.
- THAT WAS AMAZING.
- SALLY.
HELLO, NEIGHBOR.
I THINK THESE GENTLEMEN
WERE, UH,
INADVERTENTLY MISTAKEN
THE SUNNY GIRLS CASHBOX.
YOU SHOULD GET YOUR FRIEND HOME.
HE'S CLUMSY.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU RUN?
- TOO FULL.
- THAT WAS AWESOME.
- SUNNY GIRLS CHEER.
[together]
♪ JOEY, JOEY, HE'S OUR MAN
♪ IF HE CAN'T DO IT,
NO ONE CAN ♪
- OH, JOEY, YOU DESERVE SO
MUCH MORE THAN JUST A CHEER.
I MEAN, WE'VE GOT
TO THANK YOU BY, LIKE--
- IT'S NOT NECESSARY, AMANDA.
OH, LOOK AT THE TIME.
I FORGOT
ABOUT AN IMPORTANT ENGAGEMENT.
I LL--I GOT TO GO.
- OH, OKAY.
- SEE YOU.
- BYE.
- BYE, JOEY.
- BYE.
- MY OH, MY.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OH, THIS MAMA.
OH, SHE'S LIKE A TSUNAMI
WITH THIS PASTA.
IT S, LIKE, UNBELIEVABLE.
- IS THAT ENOUGH?
- THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
- OH, NO.
- COME ON.
- I'M STUFFED!
I CAN'T EAT ANY MORE.
- ALL RIGHT, DO ME A FAVOR.
TELL ME WHEN.
- WHEN, WHEN.
- NO, NO.
- WHEN.
- OKAY, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BE BACK.
- EVEN WHEN ME AND JOEY
WAS LITTLE,
SHE NEVER LET ME LEAVE
UNTIL I WAS STUFFED.
- I THINK SHE'S HOLDING OUT
ON US, FISH.
- MAMA? NAH.
- YEAH.
- YOU REALLY THINK MAMA
KNOWS WHERE JOEY IS?
- WHAT'S THAT ABOUT JOEY?
- OH, NOTHING.
WE WERE JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW,
WE HAVEN'T SEEN JOEY IN A WHILE.
HE HASN'T BEEN
AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
- YOU KNOW, BOYS. HE TOOK
THAT JOB RUNNING THE FBI.
HE'S ON AN UNDERCOVER MISSION.
OH, SHUT YOUR MOUTHS.
YOU'RE GONNA CATCH FLIES.
- MAMA, YOU KNOW WHERE JOEY IS?
- NOW IF I KNEW THAT,
IT WOULDN T BE
AN UNDERCOVER MISSION, WOULD IT?
- UNDERCOVER.
MUST BE COLD WHERE HE WENT.
CANADA.
- OH.
I FORGOT THE RICOTTA COOKIES.
- THANKS, MA.
- OKAY.
- I TELL YOU WHAT, I'M EXCITED.
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CANADA.
- SALLY, HAVE YOU SEEN
MY CELL PHONE?
- OH, HERE IT IS.
IT WAS RIGHT UNDER THE CUSHIONS.
- OH, GOOD.
THANKS, KIDDO.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT YOU.
- "I, THE UNDERSIGNED,
AGREE TO THE ABOVE STATED TERMS.
AND ANY FAILURE
TO ABIDE BY SAID TERMS
WILL RESULT
IN MY IMMEDIATE INCARCERATION."
NICE.
[knock at door]
WHAT THE?
[knock at door]
- WE WANTED TO STOP BY
AND SAY...
- YOU FORGOT YOUR GROCERIES.
- I SUPPOSE I DID FORGET THEM
IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT.
LET ME GET THOSE FOR YOU.
UH, COME IN.
SEEING YOU TWO IS A DELIGHTFUL
END TO AN EVENTFUL DAY.
- AS SOON AS YOU CAME INTO TOWN,
EVERYTHING
STARTED GETTING INTERESTING.
THE WAY YOU STOPPED THOSE GUYS,
IT WAS SO AMAZING.
- OH, IT WAS NOTHING.
I WAS MERELY
PERFORMING MY DUTIES
AS A CONSCIENTIOUS CITIZEN.
- IT WASN'T NOTHING, JOEY.
IT WAS AN EXAMPLE
OF THE KIND OF SELF-RELIANCE
THAT SUNNY GIRLS ARE ALL ABOUT.
- SORRY MY PLACE IS SUCH A MESS.
- OH, HONESTLY,
IT'S CLEANER THAN WHAT MY PLACE
HAS BEEN IN YEARS.
- AS A THANKS TO JOEY,
MAYBE YOU COULD SHOW HIM AROUND.
YOU GUYS SHOULD STOP BY
AND GET SOME DINNER.
- OH.
- 7:30 TONIGHT.
- SURE.
- I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER WAY
TO SPEND AN EVENING.
[phone ringing]
- TANNENBAUM RESIDENCE.
HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?
- TANNENBAUM RESIDENCE?
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR.
KEEPING IT LOW PROFILE.
- I'M VIRTUALLY INVISIBLE.
IT'S JUST, THERE IS ONE THING.
I MET SOMEONE.
- JOEY, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
YOU'RE ONLY GONNA BE THERE
FOR A FEW MORE WEEKS,
AND THEN WE HAVE TO MOVE YOU
BACK TO NEW YORK.
- I'M TRYING TO TURN OVER
A NEW LEAF, RIGHT?
- YEAH, RIGHT.
BUT, JOEY, LISTEN.
- SO I WAS THINKING MAYBE I
COULD TELL HER ABOUT THE WHOLE
WITNESS PROTECTION THING.
MAYBE IT'S TIME
I COME CLEAN TO MORE THAN
JUST THE FINE REPRESENTATIVES
OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
- THAT IS A BAD IDEA
FOR TWO REASONS.
ONE, IT COMPROMISES
THE OPERATION
AND COULD GET ME FIRED.
DOS,YOU'D BE PUTTING
HER AND ANYBODY
CLOSE TO HER AT JEOPARDY.
ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION.
- YEAH, YEAH.
I FIGURED YOU WERE GONNA RESPOND
IN THAT FASHION.
WELL, EASY COME, EASY GO, RIGHT?
- THAT'S MY WITNESS.
OKAY, BUDDY.
- YES, SIR.
EYES ON THE PRIZE.
EYES ON THE PRIZE.
WHOOPS, DID I GET YOU?
SORRY, BUDDY.
[knock at door]
- WOW, MOM.
YOU LOOK AMAZING.
- YEAH?
YOU DON'T THINK IT'S TOO MUCH?
I MEAN, IT'S NOT A DATE
OR ANYTHING.
I'M JUST SHOWING A NEW NEIGHBOR
AROUND.
SERIOUSLY.
- GO HAVE FUN.
- OKAY.
BUT IT'S NOT A DATE.
- OF COURSE NOT, MOM.
YES.
- OH.
SUCH A GENTLEMAN.
- YOU CAN THANK MY MAMA
FOR THAT.
SHE RAISED ME TO BE A--
- MAMA S BOY?
- GRANDMAMA S BOY
IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL.
- WELL, IT'S ADORABLE.
SHE OBVIOUSLY KNEW
WHAT SHE WAS DOING.
- TELL ME ABOUT YOU.
- OH, THAT'S A TALE
OF EXCITEMENT AND INTRIGUE.
THERE'S NOT REALLY THAT MUCH
TO TELL.
I'M A FIFTH GRADE TEACHER.
I LEAD A TROOP OF SUNNY GIRLS
IN THE SUMMER AND, YOU KNOW,
JUST A SINGLE MOM,
TRYING TO RAISE MY GIRL
AND MAKING IT UP AS I GO ALONG.
- WELL, YOU SEEM TO BE
DOING PRETTY GOOD.
SALLY S A GREAT KID.
SHE'S GOT SO MUCH SPUNK.
REMINDS ME OF MYSELF AS A YOUTH.
- YEAH.
YEAH, SHE'S GREAT.
LATELY SHE'S KIND
OF BEEN HINTING
THAT SHE MIGHT BE A LITTLE
TOO GROWN UP.
- AH, KIDS.
THEY GO THROUGH PHASES.
- GOOD EVENING,
SIGNOR E SIGNORA,
WELCOME TO PAPA MANGIA S
ITALIAN CUISINE,
HOME OF THE MOST
AUTHENTIC DINING EXPERIENCE
IN ALL OF SUNNYDALE.
- IT'S ACTUALLY THE ONLY
ITALIAN IN SUNNYDALE.
- SITHE MOST AUTHENTIC
IN TOWN.
- [giggles]
- SO I FOUND OUR FRIEND.
- YOU FOUND JOEY?
- THAT'S WHAT THE MAN SAID.
WOW, AMAZING.
WE LOOKED ALL OVER FOR THIS GUY.
HE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND, IN
SPITE OF OUR DILIGENT EFFORTS.
- YEAH, I'M SURE.
WE'RE HEADING
TO THE AIRPORT NOW.
YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR TICKETS
AT THE COUNTER.
OUR FRIEND IS OUT WEST,
A LITTLE TOWN CALLED SUNNYDALE.
GET OUT THERE
AND DO WHAT NEEDS DOING, BOYS.
MAKE ME PROUD.
HEY.
- WE WILL, MR. DE ANGELIS.
WE WILL.
- SO WHAT'S THE VERDICT?
AUTHENTIC?
- THAT ALL DEPENDS
ON YOUR DEFINITION OF AUTHENTIC.
WERE MAMA HERE,
SHE MIGHT TAKE IT UPON HERSELF
TO GIVE THE CHEF
SOME SUBTLE AND FRIENDLY ADVICE.
- WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT,
I'M SURE.
- INDEED.
SHALL WE?
- I GOT IT.
I KNOW YOU.
- I'M NOT SURE WE'VE EVER MET.
PERHAPS YOU'RE MISTAKING ME
FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
- NO, MAN.
YOU'RE THAT GUY
THAT EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WHOA, LOOK AT THE TIME.
WE GOT TO GET GOING.
YOU SHOULD TRY
ADDING SOME GARLIC.
IT LL DO THE BODY GOOD.
GOOD NIGHT.
- BUENAS NOCHES.
- GET IN HERE, GUYS.
JOEY S ON TV.
- IT WAS NOT A GOOD DAY
FOR TWO YOUNG HOODLUMS
WHO ATTEMPTED TO STEAL
THE PROCEEDS FROM A LOCAL SUNNY
GIRL ADVENTURERS BAKE SALE.
THIS FOOTAGE HAS BECOME
AN INTERNET SENSATION.
A MYSTERIOUS NEWCOMER TO TOWN
WAS HAPPY TO LEND A HAND IN
RETRIEVING THE STOLEN CASHBOX.
- THIS MUST BE WHAT THE GUY
AT THE RESTAURANT
WAS TALKING ABOUT.
IT'S ONLINE?
- YEAH. I UPLOADED IT YESTERDAY.
IT'S GOT, LIKE, A MILLION HITS.
THANK GOODNESS
I BROUGHT YOUR PHONE, MOM.
- YEAH.
THANK GOODNESS.
- THAT'S JOSEPH TANNENBAUM,
T-A-N-N-E-N-B-A-U-M.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST SORT
OF A LOCAL STORY.
BUT IT'S SO HEARTWARMING.
THE WHOLE NATION S GONNA SEE ALL
ABOUT IT FROM SEATTLE TO MIAMI,
LOS ANGELES TO, SAY,
PHILADELPHIA.
- THIS IS NOT GOOD.
- KAREN, WE'LL GO BACK TO YOU
IN THE STUDIO.
- NOT GOOD?
YOU'RE A HERO, JOEY.
- YOU DON'T HEAR ABOUT A
REAL-LIFE HERO EVERY DAY.
- WILCOTT.
- AGENT GRUNDY.
- LOOK, KID, YOU MAY BE ALL OVER
ORGANIZED CRIME IN NEW YORK,
BUT YOUR FACILITY FOR WITNESS
RELOCATION GIVES ME PAUSE.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
- OH, NO.
- OH, YES, WILCOTT.
IT APPEARS YOUR GUY
LOVES THE CAMERA.
- HEY, HEY.
WOULDN T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU.
- NOW GET TO SUNNYDALE
AND CONTROL YOUR WITNESS.
- YES, SIR.
WHAT PART OF LOW PROFILE
DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND, JOEY?
- ARE YOU REFERRING TO JOEY
TANNENBAUM S NEWLY-ELEVATED
STATUS AS A HEROIC FIGURE?
- NEWLY-ELEVATED?
YOU'RE ALL OVER THE INTERNET,
JOEY.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?
JOEY TANNENBAUM S THE KIND OF
GUY THAT PEOPLE LIKE TO ADMIRE.
- A COUPLE WEEKS.
ALL YOU NEEDED TO DO WAS
KEEP QUIET FOR A COUPLE WEEKS
UNTIL THE TRIAL STARTS.
JOEY, DO YOU GET
THAT IF YOUR OLD PARTNERS
FIGURE OUT WHERE YOU ARE,
THEY'RE GONNA COME FOR YOU?
- FORGET ABOUT IT, AGENT "W."
LET ME BAKE UP
SOME OF MAMA S PIZZELLES.
IT LL TAKE YOUR MIND
RIGHT OFF YOUR TROUBLES.
I GOT TO GET THESE COOKIES OVER
TO AMANDA S AND THE SUNNY GIRLS.
THEY'RE GONNA KNOCK THIS TOWN S
SOCKS OFF THEIR FEET.
- WAIT. WHAT?
AMANDA S THE WOMAN?
THE ONE FROM THE VIDEO.
- SHE IS.
- JOEY, AGAIN, YOU'RE ONLY GONNA
BE HERE FOR A FEW WEEKS.
- LOOK, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
[oven beeps]
LADIES, PREPARE YOUR TASTE BUDS.
- THESE ARE TOTALLY AMAZING.
- WE SHOULD SELL THESE.
CAN WE, JOEY?
- WELL, THEY'RE A FAMILY RECIPE.
COULD YOU KEEP A SECRET?
- SUNNY GIRLS DO NOT GOSSIP.
- WHAT ABOUT YOU, SALLY?
IF WE DO THIS, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO JOIN BACK UP.
I CAN'T GO TEACHING MY MAMA S
SECRET RECIPE TO JUST ANYONE.
- I'M TOO OLD.
- YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD
TO BE A SUNNY GIRL.
I'M SOMETHING
OF A PETER PAN FIGURE MYSELF.
- COME ON, SALLY.
- YEAH, WE NEED YOU.
- ONCE A SUNNY GIRL...
all: ALWAYS A SUNNY GIRL.
- I'M IN.
[cheering]
- ALL RIGHT.
SO NOW WE JUST NEED A PLACE
TO SELL THEM,
SOME KIND OF HIGH-TRAFFIC AREA.
- NOW WE COME TO THE PROBLEM.
TROOP 217 ISN'T THE ONLY
SUNNY GIRL TROOP IN TOWN.
WE'RE IN A FUNDRAISING
COMPETITION.
- IF WE WIN,
WE BECOME THE NATIONAL FACE
OF THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- I'VE HAD MY PICTURE
ON MANY A POST OFFICE WALL.
- THE POINT IS,
CONSTANCE MORGAN,
SHE'S THE TROOP MOTHER
OF TROOP 119,
AND IT'S ALMOST LIKE--
- LIKE SHE'S CHEATING.
I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN THINK
SHE BAKES HER OWN COOKIES.
SHE BUYS THEM.
IF EVER WE TRY TO SELL,
SHE ENDS UP RUNNING THE SHOW.
- YEAH, LIKE AT THE SIDEWALK
SALE.
- SIDEWALK SALE?
- SAINT BARNABY S CHURCH
SPONSORS A SIDEWALK SALE
ON THE WEEKENDS.
- WE HAD THE PERFECT SPOT.
BUT AS SOON
AS TROOP 119 STOLE OUR TABLE...
- WE GOT BOUNCED
FROM THE BEST PLACE
IN THE WHOLE STREET.
- HMM.
THIS RAISES HACKLES OF SUSPICION
ON MY WELL-COIFFED HEAD.
SIDEWALK SALE YOU SAY?
IT MIGHT BE TIME
I GET A LOOK AT OUR COMPETITION.
- HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT,
JOEY?
- WELL, EVERYONE IN THE TOWN
KNOWS YOU NOW.
IF CONSTANCE SEES THE GUY
WHO HELPED SAVE TROOP 217 S
CASHBOX, SHE'S GONNA KNOW
THAT SOMETHING S NOT RIGHT.
- SALLY?
- I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA
TO GET YOU CLOSE.
A COUPLE YEARS AGO,
MOM AND I GOT THIS ACHIEVEMENT.
I THINK IT'S TIME PING, NITA,
AND LUCY EARNED THE SAME ONE.
- OH, BOY.
- THAT'S SUCH A SMALL SCREEN.
HOW COULD YOU TELL THAT'S JOEY?
- I'VE KNOWN JOEY
SINCE WE WAS IN DIAPERS.
IT'S HIM.
- YEAH, THAT'S JOEY ALL RIGHT.
BOY,
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY HANDS
AROUND HIS NECK, THAT RAT.
- MIND YOUR BUSINESS.
- SHUT UP.
- YOU NEVER TOLD ME
WHAT YOU DID IN NEW YORK.
- I HAD THIS JOB.
CAREER, REALLY.
I WAS VERY, VERY GOOD AT IT.
BUT, UH...
IT'S TOUGH TO EXPLAIN.
- WHAT, YOU WEREN'T SATISFIED?
- YOU COULD SAY THAT.
AT THE END OF THE DAY,
WE DIDN'T TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE
OF OUR CUSTOMERS.
I DIDN'T LIKE WHO I WAS
AND WHAT I WAS DOING.
- AND WHAT ABOUT NOW?
- YEAH, HAPPY.
THAT'S WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE.
- WE'RE ZOMBIES.
- ZOMBIE.
- YOU READY TO BE TRANSFORMED?
- I ABSOLUTELY AM, I GUESS.
- OH, THE SUNNY GIRLS.
I ALWAYS LOVE TO SUPPORT A GREAT
YOUTH ORGANIZATION WHEN I CAN.
I'LL TAKE A BOX OF--
- MONEY IN THE CASHBOX.
NEXT.
- CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING?
- PIZZA DELIVERY.
ONE PIE FOR THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- OH, WE DIDN'T ORDER A PIZZA.
- OH, COME ON, MOM.
I'M STARVING.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE
CAN EAT THESE COOKIES.
- OH, OKAY, HONEY. HOLD ON.
FATHER MIKE,
WE NEED YOU OVER HERE.
- YES, CONSTANCE.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU GIRLS?
- WELL, THE GIRLS ARE HUNGRY,
AND PIZZA GUY IS HERE.
- YES, I CAN SEE THAT.
- WELL, I FIGURE
WITH THIS AMAZING TURNOUT,
YOU MUST HAVE ENOUGH DONATIONS
TO BUY THE GIRLS SOME PIZZA
FOR ALL THEIR HARD WORK.
- DONATIONS HAVE NOT BEEN NEARLY
AS ABUNDANT
AS WE WOULD VE LIKED.
AND SINCE WE'VE ALREADY
WAIVED YOUR BOOTH FEE...
- FATHER MIKE.
- YES, CONSTANCE, OF COURSE.
GIVE HER THE PIZZA.
SO WHAT'S THE DAMAGE?
- KEEP IT.
I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
- BUT--
- WATCH OUT, PING.
- YOU WATCH OUT, LUCY.
YOU'RE TOTALLY IN MY WAY.
- CAREFUL, GIRLS.
OOH, NICE JOB, NITA.
- THANKS, MS. CLAYTON.
DON'T EAT OUR PROFIT.
- I JUST WANTED TO TRY ONE,
NITA.
- MAMA S COOKIES ARE THE BEST.
WE JUST NEED TO FIND SOMEPLACE
TO SELL THEM.
- WELL, IT SO HAPPENS
I HAVE A SOLUTION
FOR THAT PARTICULAR QUANDARY.
all: JOEY!
- HEY.
YOU RECOGNIZED ME.
I'M SURPRISED.
YOUR MASTERY
OF THE ART OF DISGUISE
SERVED ME WELL ON OUR MISSION.
- OKAY, SO DON'T HOLD BACK.
WHAT'S THE SCOOP?
- WELL, YOUR FEARS
ARE WELL FOUNDED.
OH.
I KNOW A THING OR TWO
ABOUT RACKETS FROM MY TIME IN--
ANYWAY, YOUR PAL CONSTANCE,
SHE DEFINITELY HAS AN ANGLE
SHE'S WORKING.
- WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST WE DO?
- WELL, HUDDLE UP, GIRLS.
LUCKILY,
I HAVE EXPERIENCE COMBATING
SUCH FELONIOUS MEASURES.
- YES.
- PUT IT HERE.
all: ONE, TWO, THREE.
SUNNY GIRLS!
ALL RIGHT, GIRLS,
THIS IS THE DAY.
WE'RE GONNA SELL SOME COOKIES.
THE WAY CONSTANCE AND HER GIRLS
GOT THIS TOWN WIRED,
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS
ARE AT A SLIGHT DISADVANTAGE.
AND THEY GOT THE SIDEWALK SALE
LOCKED DOWN, THAT'S FOR SURE.
- SO WHAT DO WE DO?
- WELL, ALL AROUND YOU
IS OPPORTUNITY.
- WHAT OPPORTUNITY, JOEY?
- ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.
HEY THERE, BUDDY.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HAVING
A PARTICULARLY STRENUOUS
CONSTITUTIONAL.
- TWO MILES EVERY DAY.
IT KEEPS ME ACTIVE AND YOUNG.
- WELL, I BET THAT TAKES UP
QUITE A BIT OF ENERGY.
MAYBE YOU COULD USE A SNACK
TO MAXIMIZE YOUR EFFICIENCY.
HEY, PING, HOW ABOUT A PIZZELLE
FOR THE NEW FRIEND OF OURS?
- OKAY.
IT'S GREAT.
I NEVER HAD A COOKIE THIS GOOD.
[laughs]
HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?
- OH, IT'S ON THE HOUSE, PAL.
YOU COME AROUND HERE
QUITE A BIT, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
- YOU TELL EVERYBODY
YOU KNOW ABOUT SUNNY GIRLS TROOP
217 S NEW ITALIAN CONFECTIONS,
AND WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.
- YOU GOT IT, PAL.
THANKS, GIRLS.
- HAVE A GOOD ONE.
- BUT, JOEY,
HE DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING.
- WELL, SOMETIMES
YOU GOT TO GIVE YOUR STUFF AWAY
TO BUILD A CUSTOMER BASE.
- HOW, JOEY?
- WELL, HE TELLS TEN FRIENDS.
THEN THEY TELL TEN FRIENDS.
SOONER OR LATER, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO LOOK FOR PEOPLE
TO SELL YOUR GOODS TO.
- THEY'LL BE LOOKING FOR US.
- EXACTLY.
SO GO ON,
FAN OUT AND HOOK SOME BIG FISH.
- YES, JOEY.
- YES, JOEY.
- ALL RIGHT.
- LET'S GO.
- COME ON.
[clears throat]
- THAT WAS QUITE THE PEP TALK.
- WELL, ON THIS,
I KNOW MY STUFF.
SOONER OR LATER, WE'LL HAVE
THE WHOLE TOWN SELLING FOR US.
- OH, YES.
- INTERESTING MOTIF.
- WELCOME TO MONTEGO BAY
SMOOTHIE. I'M SUNSHINE.
HOW CAN I BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY?
- [chuckles]
GIVE ME TWO ESPRESSOS.
- I'M SORRY, SIR.
WE ONLY SERVE ALL-NATURAL HERBAL
AND ORGANIC
FRUIT BLENDED BEVERAGES.
- DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
THAT COULD PERK US UP IN LIEU
OF A CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE?
- WE GOT WHEATGRASS.
IT'S GOOD FOR THE DIGESTION.
- ALL RIGHT,
GIVE US TWO WHEATGRASSES.
- THAT LL BE $15, SIR.
- 15?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT'S GRASS.
- I GOT IT, FISH.
AND LISTEN, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,
WHY DON'T YOU THROW IN
AN ASSORTMENT OF THOSE COOKIES
AS WELL.
I'M IN A PERK-ISH KIND OF MOOD.
- THANK YOU.
BRING IT RIGHT OUT TO YOU.
- IF YOU WERE GONNA
PAY $15 FOR GRASS,
I WOULD VE WENT OUT
AND PICKED IT FOR YOU.
[gagging]
LIKE I JUST KISSED A LAWN MOWER.
- HAVE ONE OF THESE, FISH,
A LITTLE SOMETHING
TO CLEANSE YOUR PALATE.
- DON'T MIND IF I DO.
- TASTE FAMILIAR?
- YEAH, REAL FAMILIAR.
- LIKE YOU'VE HAD IT BEFORE?
- LIKE I GREW UP WITH THEM.
THOSE ARE MAMA D AMICO S
COOKIES.
- YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
- MAMA S A SUNNY GIRL.
OF COURSE.
SO WHAT ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT HERE?
- WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT THESE COOKIES
AND OUR PAL JOEY IN CAHOOTS
WITH THE SUNNY GIRL OPERATION.
ONLY HE COULD VE GIVEN THEM
THE RECIPE FOR THESE COOKIES.
I'M NOT SURE OF THE ANGLE,
BUT WE GOT HIM NOW.
- SO WHAT'S OUR NEXT MOVE?
- WE GOT TO FIND
THESE SUNNY GIRLS
AND HAVE A LITTLE TALK
WITH OUR MUTUAL ACQUAINTANCE.
- RIGHT.
A TALK.
WITH...
- WITH JOEY!
- WITH JOEY.
I KNEW THAT.
I WAS JUST TESTING YOU.
- JUST A FEW DAYS SELLING
YOUR MAMA S COOKIES AND, WELL,
WE'VE ALREADY MADE OVER $500.
- WELL, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO GIVE
THE PUBLIC A LITTLE TASTE.
THEY'LL KEEP COMING BACK.
- WELL, THE GIRLS
ARE REALLY HAPPY.
I MEAN, WE'RE REALLY IN IT NOW.
WE COULD WIN.
- WHAT'S THIS?
- WELL, I THINK YOU
SHOULD HOLD ON TO THE MONEY.
IF THERE'S ANYTHING
WE'VE LEARNED FROM THIS WEEK,
IT'S CASH
IS SAFER IN YOUR HANDS.
I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU MOVED
TO SUNNYDALE, JOEY TANNENBAUM.
- OH, YEAH?
WHY IS THAT?
- WELL, DUH. THE COOKIES.
[laughing]
- MY MAMA,
SHE SURE KNOWS HER STUFF, HUH?
- EVEN IF NOTHING HAPPENS
WITH THE FUNDRAISING COMP--
- YOU GOT IT IN THE BAG, AMANDA.
- YOU'VE BEEN VERY HELPFUL.
YOU'VE MADE A REAL DIFFERENCE
IN THE GIRLS LIVES,
PING, LUCY, NITA, SALLY.
A GOOD MALE ROLE MODEL
IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
- I'VE BEEN REFERRED
TO BY MANY GREAT EPITHETS.
BUT TO DATE, A ROLE MODEL
JUST AIN T ONE OF THEM.
- WELL, YOU SHOULD GET
USED TO IT, JOEY.
- LOOK, AMANDA,
I'LL KEEP THIS SAFE
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
TO BAKE THE MORNING AWAY.
- OH, AND...
HAVING YOU HERE HAS MEANT
A LOT TO ME TOO.
- GOOD NIGHT.
- HELLO.
- MAMA, IT'S ME. HOW YOU DOING?
- OH, JOEY.
HOW S THE NEW JOB?
- THAT'S KIND OF WHY I CALLED.
I GOT A BIT
OF A DILEMMA BREWING.
- OH, I COULD HEAR IT
IN YOUR VOICE.
TELL MAMA WHAT'S THE MATTER.
- IT'S THIS NEW CASE
I GOT UPON ARRIVAL.
MAMA, I'VE BECOME A LITTLE
BIT MORE INTIMATELY INVOLVED
THAN IS STANDARD PROCEDURE
IN SUCH INSTANCES.
- SO IS THERE A WOMAN?
- I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
- OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT,
JOEY.
MAMA KNOWS HER JOEY.
- YEAH, YOU DO.
I COULD NEVER GET
ONE PAST YOU, HUH?
- YOU KNOW, JOEY,
LIFE IS A LITTLE BIT
LIKE BAKING COOKIES.
- I'M NOT SURE I FOLLOW.
- YOU GET THE RIGHT RECIPE,
YOU FOLLOW ALL THE INSTRUCTIONS,
AND THAT WILL GET YOU
WHERE YOU GOT TO GO.
CAPISCE?
BUT TO MAKE TRULY AMAZING
COOKIES, YOU KNOW,
THE KIND
THAT KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF,
THE KIND THAT I MAKE, YOU
GOT TO HAVE THE MAIN INGREDIENT.
AND THAT IS LOVE, JOEY.
SO FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
- THANKS, MAMA.
I LOVE YOU.
- OH, I LOVE YOU, JOEY.
I MISS YOU.
SO NOW TELL ME
ALL ABOUT THE GIRL.
- OKAY, WAFFLE.
AND THE LAST ONE.
HOW ARE THOSE EGGS GOING?
- TOO MUCH.
THERE YOU GO.
- THANKS, JOEY.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
- OH.
- GREAT JOB, TROOP 217.
- THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY.
- ENJOY.
- SEE?
IT'S CRAZY.
- THANK YOU,
SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
- OH, NO, MOM.
- FOR HERE OR TO GO?
FOR HERE?
- OKAY, I'LL TAKE THIS.
I'LL TAKE THIS.
- BYE.
- HI.
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
EVERYONE LOVES THEIR COOKIES.
- I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.
AMANDA CLAYTON WILL NOT BEAT US.
- THESE ARE GREAT.
- THAT WAS GREAT.
- THAT WAS HILARIOUS.
- I CONCUR.
ALTHOUGH I QUESTION
SOME OF THE FILM S ACCURACY.
- OH, HOW DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL--
OH, LOOK, THE LITTLE
ITALIAN JOINT S STILL OPEN.
LET ME BUY YOU A BEVERAGE.
- OH, THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.
JOEY, DID YOU HAVE PLANS
FOR THIS WEEKEND?
I WAS PLANNING ON TAKING
THE GIRLS ON A CAMP-OUT.
- CAMPING? ARE YOU
SURE THAT'S WISE?
AREN'T WE COMING UP ON THE END
OF THE CONTEST?
- IN THE END, IT DOESN'T MATTER
IF WE WIN OR LOSE.
I JUST WANT THE GIRLS
TO CELEBRATE
WHAT THEY'VE ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT
WE'VE ACCOMPLISHED TOGETHER.
- TOGETHER?
- TOGETHER.
- YEAH.
I'M AT A RARE
AND INCONVENIENT LOSS FOR WORDS.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH
ABOUT THE GREAT OUTDOORS.
- WELL, YOU'VE TAUGHT THE GIRLS
SO MUCH ABOUT BAKING.
LET THEM RETURN THE FAVOR.
- COUNT ME IN.
- THE GUY
PLAYING THE DUMB MOBSTER,
HE WAS A LITTLE OVER THE TOP
IN HIS ACTING.
PLUS, WHAT RESPECTABLE GANGSTER
IS THAT STUPID?
[knocking at door]
[knocking continues]
- [girls laughing]
- AMANDA.
- OH, I'M SORRY.
DID WE WAKE YOU?
- OF COURSE NOT.
I'M A BIG BELIEVER
THAT THE EARLY RISING AVIANS
ACQUIRE MORE GRUBS
AND CATERPILLARS AND WHATNOT.
- GREAT, SO YOU CAN COME.
- WE HAVE AN EARLY BAKE SALE
DATE?
I MUST VE LEFT IT OFF
THE SCHEDULE.
- NO BAKING THIS WEEKEND.
- IT'S THE SUNNY GIRLS CAMP-OUT.
- AHH.
- YOU TALKED ME INTO STICKING
WITH THE SUNNY GIRLS.
- THE LEAST YOU CAN DO
IS THE RIGHT THING,
WHEN THE SHOE S
ON THE OTHER FOOT.
- THE ALLIGATOR SHOE.
[laughter]
- SO COME ON, JOEY.
WE'RE GONNA
TEACH YOU WILDERNESS SURVIVAL.
- ROPE-TYING.
- ORIENTEERING.
- I'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT IS.
BUT YOU ALL MAKE A PERSUASIVE
ARGUMENT NONETHELESS.
COME ON, GIRLS.
YOU REALLY DIDN'T THINK
I'D FORGET, DID YOU?
all: NO.
- GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES,
ALL RIGHT?
[all chanting]
♪ SUNNY GIRLS, SUNNY GIRLS
♪ THE WORLD S FULL OF FUN
♪ SUNNY GIRLS, SUNNY GIRLS,
TO THE TOP WE RUN ♪
- THANKS A LOT, JOEY.
- NO PROBLEM.
I'M WELL KNOWN FOR
MY EXCELLENT PACKING ABILITIES.
I'VE LOADED TONS OF TRUCKS AND
VANS WITH A VARIETY OF ITEMS.
- OH.
WELL, I DON'T MEAN JUST THIS.
I MEAN EVERYTHING.
YOU'RE GREAT WITH THE GIRLS.
AND WELL,
OUR BAKE SALE WAS IN THE COMMODE
BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG.
- YEAH, YOUR COOKIES
WERE PRETTY HORRIBLE, HUH?
- VERY FUNNY.
- YEAH,
I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
CONSTRUCTIVE TO DO WITH MY TIME,
AND THIS MIGHT BE IT.
- SHALL WE?
- YEAH.
- WOW. GREAT JOB, GIRLS.
I SEE ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS
IN YOUR FUTURE.
- THANKS, MS. "C."
- SALLY SHOWED US
HOW TO USE THE POLES.
IT'S EASY ONCE YOU KNOW.
- I PUT IN THE STAKES.
- YEAH?
OH, THAT'S PERFECT, NITA.
GREAT.
SO GRAB YOUR SLEEPING BAGS NEXT.
- YES, MS. CLAYTON.
- WELL, FOR A GIRL WITH DOUBTS
ABOUT
STICKING WITH THE SUNNY GIRLS,
YOU SURE ARE A GOOD INFLUENCE.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, MOM.
BEFORE YOU BRING ON THE
"I TOLD YOU SO,"
YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THE GREAT
OUTDOORSMAN OVER THERE.
- OH.
- YEAH.
MY INSTRUCTIONS DIDN'T TAKE.
- [laughs]
- HOW YOU DOING, AMANDA?
IS THIS THE GREAT OUTDOORS
OR WHAT?
- I THINK WE SHOULD START
WITH SOMETHING MORE BASIC.
YOU READY FOR A HIKE, JOEY?
[sigh of relief]
[buzzing]
[laughter]
[all singing]
♪ FIVE GREEN
♪ AND SPECKLED FROGS
♪ SAT ON A GREAT BIG LOG
♪ EATING THE MOST
DELICIOUS BUGS ♪
YUM, YUM.
♪ ONE JUMPED INTO THE POOL
WHERE IT WAS NICE AND COOL ♪
♪ NOW THERE ARE FOUR
SPECKLED FROGS ♪
GLUB, GLUB.
- GLUB GLUB.
- TROOP 217 AREN T
THE ONLY SUNNY GIRLS
WHO KNOW
HOW TO MAKE HOMEMADE COOKIES.
- EW!
- MOM, AT LEAST SALLY
AND THE SUNNY NERDS
ARE OFF ON THEIR CAMPING TRIP.
MAYBE WE CAN SELL
SOME OF THESE WITH THEM GONE.
- JOCELYN, I SPENT
ALL MORNING BAKING THESE.
THESE ARE FANTASTIC.
- THOSE DO LOOK SPLENDIFEROUS.
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- INDUBITABLY.
WE'VE SEEN THESE SUNNY GIRL
COOKIES ALL OVER TOWN.
BUT WE HAVEN'T BEEN
ABLE TO CATCH UP WITH YOUS.
- THIS IS FORTUITOUS.
- PLEASE, HELP YOURSELF.
FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN.
- HMM...
- AS WONDROUS AS THESE LOOK,
I'VE NOTICED THAT YOU PREVIOUSLY
HAD SOME MORE TRADITIONAL
ITALIAN COOKIES.
WOULD THOSE BE AVAILABLE?
- THAT'S NOT OUR TROOP.
THAT'S TROOP NUMBER 217.
AMANDA AND SALLY S NEW NEIGHBOR
TAUGHT THEM
ALL THESE FANCY RECIPES.
IT'S NOT FAIR.
- THEY BROUGHT IN A RINGER
ON YOU?
THAT AIN T FAIR AT ALL.
- NOT AT ALL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING UNDERSTANDING.
- IF THERE'S ONE THING
THAT WE CAN'T STAND,
IT'S A LACK OF FAIRNESS.
SAY, WHERE IS THIS NEW NEIGHBOR?
- OH, THEY ALL WENT
ON SOME CAMPING TRIP
IN THE NATIONAL PARK.
- REALLY?
THAT'S TOO BAD.
- BUT THE NEW GUY
LIVES DOWN THE STREET FROM THEM,
1754 MAPLE DRIVE.
- MAPLE DRIVE, HMM.
THANKS FOR THE INFO, KID.
- OH, WAIT. AREN'T YOU
GONNA BUY ANY COOKIES?
- MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.
I PREFER TO DO MY WORK
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.
- OH. HMM.
"BUMBLEBEES ARE SOCIAL INSECTS
"THAT ARE CHARACTERIZED
BY BLACK AND YELLOW BODY HAIRS,
OFTEN IN BANDS." HMM.
- HMM.
I DIDN'T KNOW BEES
PLAYED INSTRUMENTS.
- BANDS? YOU'RE A CORNBALL,
JOEY.
- I'VE BEEN ACCUSED OF WORSE.
THOUGH ONLY RARELY CONVICTED.
- WANT TO GO CATCH SOME BEES,
JOEY?
- IN THIS INSTANCE,
I THINK I'LL PASS.
- YOU SURE?
I BET SOME FRESH HONEY
WOULD BE GREAT
ON YOUR MAMA S PIZZELLES.
- OR THE ALMOND COOKIES.
- SO YOU UP FOR A CLIMB?
- LET'S GO.
- IF ONLY I HAD WORN
MY HIKING BOOTS.
- [laughs]
- I GOT TO TELL YOU, AMANDA,
I LOVE IT OUT HERE.
- MY PARENTS USED TO BRING ME
CAMPING HERE WHEN I WAS A KID.
NOW I GET TO BRING
MY OWN DAUGHTER.
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES
IN THE WORLD.
- I CAN SEE WHY.
YOU DON'T GET THIS IN THE CITY.
I WOULD VE LOVED
TO HAVE GROWN UP OUT HERE.
- WELL, YOU MAY HAVE MISSED OUT
DURING YOUR CHILDHOOD.
BUT AT LEAST
YOU FOUND YOUR WAY HERE NOW.
- SOMETIMES THINGS JUST WORK OUT
PRETTY GOOD, HUH?
- YEAH.
- I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN
IN A LONG TIME.
- WELL, YOU'VE EARNED
AT LEAST A COUPLE
OF SUNNY GIRLS ACHIEVEMENTS
TODAY.
- I WILL WEAR THEM WITH PRIDE.
- WHAT?
- IT'S NOT JUST THE CAMP-OUT,
AMANDA.
IT S--
THESE COUPLE WEEKS IN SUNNYDALE
WITH YOU AND THE GIRLS,
THEY'VE BEEN PRETTY GOOD.
YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY GOOD.
- SO HAVE YOU, JOEY.
IT'S FUNNY, SOMETIMES THINGS
JUST CLICK INTO PLACE.
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS
WITH THIS CONTEST ON MONDAY,
I HOPE THAT YOU STICK AROUND.
- YOU SUNNY GIRLS
AIN T GONNA SHAKE ME.
I'M LIKE THE TROOP UNCLE.
- NOT JUST FOR THE GIRLS.
- LISTEN, AMANDA.
THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU,
BUT I JUST HAVEN'T HAD THE TIME.
THE REAL REASON
I'M IN SUNNYDALE IS--
- MS. CLAYTON, MS. CLAYTON!
- MOM, JOEY.
- MS. "C."
- MOM, DINNER.
RACCOONS.
- OH, NO. THAT DON'T SOUND GOOD.
- THEY ATE EVERYTHING.
- OH, NO.
- COME ON.
- OH, UH...
WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY, JOEY?
- NOTHING THAT TRUMPS THE CRISIS
OF WILDERNESS CREATURES.
- [gasps]
- WHOA.
THEY DIDN'T JUST EAT THE FOOD.
THE LITTLE BANDITS TOOK A HUNK
OUT OF THE COOLER TOO.
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, MOM?
THAT WAS ALL OUR FOOD.
- WELL, I GUESS WE'LL HAVE
TO CUT THE TRIP SHORT
AND HEAD HOME TONIGHT.
- NO CAMPFIRES?
- NO GHOST STORIES?
- NO S MORES?
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, NONSENSE.
WE'RE NOT GONNA LET A COUPLE
RACCOONS RUIN OUR GOOD TIME.
THERE'S A CONVENIENCE STORE
UP THE WAY.
I'LL DRIVE DOWN. AND BY THE TIME
YOU GET THE CAMPFIRE GOING,
WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH S MORES
AND HOT DOGS TO EAT
YOUR LITTLE HEARTS OUT WITH.
- OH, JOEY, THANK YOU.
I'LL HOLD THE FORT
WHILE YOU'RE GONE.
- FORGET ABOUT IT.
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, AMANDA.
YOU GOT THE KEYS?
- OH, I MUST VE
LEFT THEM IN THE VAN.
- I'LL BE BACK IN A JIFF.
- JOEY, YOU REMEMBER HOW TO GET
TO THE CAR?
DON'T FORGET,
RIGHT AT THE FIRST FORK.
- LET'S GET THIS PLACE
TIDIED UP AND START A FIRE.
all: YES, MS. CLAYTON.
- LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
EASY. RIGHT AND A LEFT TO GO.
ALL RIGHT, EASY.
RIGHT, LEFT.
OR IS IT RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT,
LEFT?
RIGHT, RIGHT.
HUMAN HABITATION.
THIS IS A GOOD SIGN.
[phone ringing]
GREAT.
CALLS BUT NO DATA?
FIGURES.
HELLO.
- HEY, WHERE ARE YOU, JOEY?
- THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION.
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- I'M IN SUNNYDALE, OF COURSE.
- SO AM I.
- WE SHOULD CATCH UP.
- HOW ABOUT NOW?
I'M HEADED TO YOUR HOUSE.
- I'M OUT RIGHT NOW.
- WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE BACK?
- ANOTHER EXCELLENT QUESTION.
- JOEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
- HEY, YOU'RE BREAKING UP.
- JOEY, DON'T YOU DO THIS.
JOEY, DON'T HANG UP.
- I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
- HELLO.
HELLO!
- HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW
WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW.
NOW WHERE IS THAT PARKING LOT?
- TACTICAL SERVICES?
I NEED YOU TO TRACK MY CRIMINAL
INFORMANT S CELL PHONE.
- YOU LOOKING FOR THESE,
D AMICO?
- CHEEKS.
FISH.
HOW YOU DOING, FELLAS?
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
I CONGRATULATE YOU
ON THE WELL-EXECUTED SETUP.
- LIKE THE WAREHOUSE, RIGHT?
LET'S SEE THOSE HANDS, JOEY.
- COME ON.
NICE AND EASY, JOEY.
- EVERY TIME, JOEY.
EVERY TIME SINCE WE WAS KIDS,
YOU HIDE THE MONEY
IN A BOOK ABOUT MONEY.
YOU NEED A NEW GIMMICK.
I SPOTTED IT AS SOON AS WE
WALKED IN THAT LITTLE HOUSE
THE FEDS
GOT YOU SQUIRRELED UP IN.
- THAT'S A GOOD POINT, FISH.
I'LL BEAR IT IN MIND
IN THE FUTURE.
- FUTURE? YOU'VE DONE
SOME THINGS IN YOUR TIME.
BUT THE TAKING OF THE SUNNY
GIRLS BAKE SALE MONEY?
I MEAN, THIS HAS GOT TO BE
AN ALL-TIME NEW LOW FOR YOU.
- LOW.
- GUYS, YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG.
- OH, NO, NO.
WE GOT A RAT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT,
JOEY, YOU'RE GOING FOR A RIDE.
AND GUESS WHAT, YOU'RE DRIVING.
GET IN!
I WANT TO SEE
THOSE THIEVING HANDS OCCUPIED.
- GIRLS, I THINK JOEY IS JUST
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
- SO I'M GUESSING MR. DE ANGELIS
TOLD YOU I WAS A PROBLEM
YOU GOT TO SOLVE.
- YOU TURNED RAT, JOEY.
GAVE US UP TO THE FEDS.
I KNOWN YOU AND FISH
HERE SINCE YOU WERE
LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS.
I BROUGHT YOU UP IN THIS.
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE GOT HISTORY.
SO HOW ABOUT YOU COME WITH ME?
YOU BOYS KNOW WHAT WE DO
FOR A LIVING AIN T RIGHT,
COUNTERFEIT BABY HARNESSES.
YOU REALLY WANT TO BE
SELLING THAT KIND OF STUFF
TO THE PEOPLE
IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD?
- HE'S GOT A POINT, CHEEKS.
- NO, HE DON T, FISH.
IT'S THE JOB.
WE DO WHAT WE'RE TOLD.
WE DON'T ASK NO QUESTIONS.
THAT'S THE LIFE.
- YEAH, WELL,
MAYBE THERE'S A BETTER ONE.
MAYBE I FOUND THAT OUT HERE.
- YOU AIN T GOT MUCH OF A LIFE
LEFT THERE, D AMICO,
NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DONE.
- COME ON, CHEEKS. MAYBE THERE S
SOMETHING WE CAN WORK OUT.
- THE ONLY WORKING OUT WE RE
DOING IS GETTING THIS SNITCH
BACK TO NEW YORK,
NICE AND QUIET LIKE.
- THEN I GOT NO OTHER CHOICE
THAN TO RESPOND.
- WHOA.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JOEY?
[screaming]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JOEY?
- [groaning]
- SEE YOU AROUND, BOYS.
[groaning]
I'LL CALL YOU BOYS AN AMBULANCE.
- SALLY, CAN YOU WATCH THE GIRLS
FOR A MINUTE?
I'M GOING UP THIS HILL TO SEE
IF JOEY S ON HIS WAY BACK.
WELL, YOU SAW HIM TODAY.
GREAT IN THE KITCHEN,
NOT SO GOOD IN THE WOODS.
SALLY,
HOW ABOUT YOU LEAD THE GIRLS
IN A SONG, SO I HEAR YOU.
- OKAY.
- ♪ FIVE GREEN AND SPECKLED
FROGS ♪
all: ♪ SAT ON A GREAT BIG LOG
♪ EATING THE MOST
DELICIOUS BUGS ♪
♪ YUM, YUM
♪ ONE JUMPED INTO THE POOL
WHERE IT WAS NICE AND COOL ♪
♪ NOW THERE ARE FOUR SPECKLED
FROGS ♪
♪ GLUB GLUB
[distant singing]
- OH.
- AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT DAMAGED.
YEAH, I GOT TWO GUYS
THAT NEED AN AMBULANCE
OUT ON COUNTY ROUTE 10
NEAR DAVIS ROAD.
[phone ringing]
- THIS IS WILCOTT.
YOU'VE GOT JOEY'S SIGNAL.
WHERE IS HE?
[phone beeps]
OH, HANG ON.
HE'S CALLING IN.
JOEY.
- SO I SUPPOSE YOU KNOW
WHERE I AM NOW.
- STAY PUT. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
- WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA GO?
- ♪ WHERE IT WAS NICE AND COOL
♪ NOW THERE ARE FOUR SPECKLED
FROGS ♪
♪ FOUR GREEN AND SPECKLED
FROGS ♪
♪ SAT ON A GREAT BIG LOG
♪ EATING--
- OKAY, GIRLS, I'VE DECIDED
IT'S TOO LATE TO GO BACK NOW.
BUT EVERYTHING S GONNA BE FINE.
WE'LL STAY HERE FOR THE NIGHT.
AND THEN WE'LL HEAD BACK
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
I'VE GOT ENERGY BARS AND
EMERGENCY RATIONS IN THE VAN.
- AND WE HAVE PLENTY OF WATER.
- MY MOM PACKED EXTRA SANDWICHES
JUST IN CASE.
- WELL, THERE WE GO.
COME ON.
- WHAT ABOUT JOEY?
- I'M SURE HE'LL BE BACK AS SOON
AS HE CAN, SWEETHEART.
OKAY?
- SO THAT'S THE DEAL, AMANDA.
I'M USUALLY PRETTY SMITTEN
WITH MY WORDS,
BUT I GOT NOTHING
BUT "I'M SORRY."
- YOU ALL RIGHT?
- YEAH.
CHEEKS AND FISH DIDN'T LOOK
SO GOOD LAST TIME I SAW THEM.
- CHEEKS AND FISH ARE HERE?
- WE HAD A VISIT.
- WHERE ARE THEY?
- I'M NOT SURE ANYMORE.
- THEY NEED TO BE IN CUSTODY.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT THOSE TWO.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM?
WE HAVE TO GET YOU
OUT OF HERE TONIGHT.
- RELAX. THERE'S NO RUSH.
- DO YOU HONESTLY THINK
THAT YOU CAN STAY IN THIS TOWN
NOW THAT YOUR BUDDIES
KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE?
- I CAN FIX THIS.
- IT'S NON-NEGOTIABLE.
WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE
TONIGHT. UNDERSTAND?
- UNDERSTOOD.
- OH, BOY.
IT'S HEADQUARTERS.
THIS IS WILCOTT.
- WHAT IN THE WORLD S GOING ON
OUT THERE?
- JUST PROTECTING MY WITNESS,
SIR.
- I HEARD YOU LOST HIM.
- HE'S HERE WITH ME NOW, SIR.
BUT THERE'S A PROBLEM.
- WHAT IS IT?
- JUST A MOMENT, SIR.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER,
AGENT WILCOTT?
YOU CAN'T SPEAK FREELY
IN FRONT OF YOUR WITNESS?
- VERY FUNNY.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- SIR, I HAVE A CLEAR AND
PRESENT THREAT TO MY WITNESS.
I NEED A NEW WITSEC SAFE HOUSE
IMMEDIATELY.
YES, SIR.
COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD, SIR.
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, SIR.
HEY, HEY, JOEY, NO.
SIR , SORRY TO CHANGE
THE SUBJECT.
BUT CAN YOU SEND A CAR FOR ME?
- ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
- I TAKE THAT'S A NO.
- OW, OW, OW.
- THAT'S WHAT THE SLING IS FOR.
YOU GOT TO KEEP
THAT IMMOBILIZED.
- IT'S MY PHONE.
IT'S JOEY.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
- FISH, HOW S THINGS?
- HOW DO YOU THINK THEY ARE,
JOEY?
- LISTEN.
I CALLED TO ARRANGE A SIT-DOWN.
LET'S MEET UP
AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT.
- HE WANTS TO MEET.
- GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.
- WHERE D YOU HAVE IN MIND?
- PAPA MANGIA S, LITTLE
ITALIAN JOINT ON MAIN STREET.
YOU KNOW IT?
- PAPA MANGIA S?
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- WE'VE BEEN THERE. WHAT TIME?
- MEET ME THERE IN THE MORNING,
11:00.
AND BRING THE FINANCE BOOK.
- HE SAID BRING THE FINANCE BOOK
TO PAPA MANGIA S IN THE MORNING.
- HOPE YOU ENJOY THAT,
AGENT WILCOTT.
IT'S THE LAST TIME
TONIGHT YOU'LL BE ABLE
TO TRACK MY LOCATION.
- THE GIRLS DIDN'T SEEM
TO SUFFER OF LOSS OF FOOD.
IN FACT, IT WAS A TERRIFIC
LESSON FOR THEM.
- WELL, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW
WHAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH
WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SACRIFICE.
SO THE GUY
AT THE CONVENIENCE STORE
SAID THAT HE DIDN'T SEE
JOEY ALL NIGHT.
I DIDN'T WANT
TO SCARE THE GIRLS.
- WE SHOULD VE WAITED FOR HIM.
HE COULD VE GOTTEN LOST.
- YEAH,
I MIGHT JUST RUN BY HIS HOUSE
AND MAKE SURE THAT HE'S OKAY.
- I'M COMING TOO.
- NO, SALLY,
STAY HERE AND UNPACK THE LUGGAGE
AND GO INSIDE.
- BUT, MOM--JOEY--I WANT TO--
- SALLY, PLEASE.
GO AND WAIT INSIDE.
- YES, SIR, WE HAVE EVERYTHING
UNDER CONTROL.
THE HOUSE IS SECURE.
THEY DID TRASH IT PRETTY GOOD,
THOUGH.
MY HUNCH, THEY PROBABLY
FOUND OUT WHERE HE WAS.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- HOLD ON JUST A SECOND.
NO, NO, EVERYTHING
IS FINE, MA AM.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE
YOUR WAY BACK HOME.
- BUT JOEY, IS HE--
- YOU KNOW JOEY?
- JOEY TANNENBAUM, YES.
HE LIVES HERE.
- MA AM, I'M NOT AT LIBERTY
TO DISCUSS
AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION.
- BUT WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
JOEY S A FRIEND.
HE WAS WITH US LAST NIGHT
AND THEN--
- MA AM, YOU NO LONGER
NEED TO CONCERN YOURSELF
WITH JOSEPH TANNENBAUM.
HIS DAYS IN SUNNYDALE
HAVE COME TO AN END.
- HE'S GONE?
HE JUST LEFT US?
- MA AM, MAYBE IT'S JUST BEST
IF YOU IMAGINE THAT HE WAS NEVER
HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- BUT--WAIT.
DID YOU FIND SOME ENVELOPES
WITH CASH IN THEM?
HE WAS HOLDING ON TO SOME MONEY
OF OURS FOR THE BAKE SALE.
- A GUY LIKE JOEY?
IF HE WAS HOLDING ON
TO YOUR MONEY,
IT'S LONG GONE NOW.
YES, SIR.
NO, EVERYTHING S FINE. YES.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- WELL, YOU WOULDN T BELIEVE IT.
I HAVE TO GO TO MY DAUGHTER.
- SO WHAT HAPPENED
AT JOEY S HOUSE?
IS HE OKAY, MOM?
- JOEY S--
HE WENT AWAY.
- YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS.
JOEY CALLED LAST NIGHT.
HE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING.
HE'S IN THE WITNESS RELOCATION
PROGRAM.
HE'S ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS,
BUT HE COUNDN'T TELL YOU.
AND THESE BAD GUYS, THEY RE--
- WITNESS RELOCATION.
OF COURSE.
LOOK, HE WENT AWAY.
HE TOOK ALL THE MONEY
FROM THE BAKE SALE WITH HIM.
- JUST LISTEN TO HIM,
MOM, PLEASE.
MOM.
- LOOK, SALLY, THE FUNDRAISING
CONTEST ENDS TOMORROW.
IT ENDS, AND WE'VE GOT NOTHING
TO SHOW
FOR ALL OF OUR HARD WORK.
I JUST NEED A LITTLE TIME, OKAY?
- YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE.
WHO EATS THIS MUCH FOOD
IN THE MORNING?
- ITALIANS.
JUST BRING OUT THE DRINKS
WE DISCUSSED AND BE READY
FOR WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT.
- WELL, WELL, WELL,
IF IT ISN'T OUR GOOD FRIEND,
JOEY D AMICO.
I'M SURPRISED
YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP.
- MAY I?
- PLEASE.
- DID YOU BRING THE MONEY?
- WHAT IS IT WITH THIS?
- YEAH, AIN T VERY MUCH MONEY
IN THERE, JOEY. SMALL POTATOES.
YOU'D THINK YOUR FREEDOM
WOULD BE WORTH MORE.
- HERE WE ARE,
THREE GENUINE ITALIAN SODAS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH THE REST.
- THE REST?
- OH, YEAH.
I PUT IN AN ORDER ON THE WAY.
I FIGURED WE'D BE IN A HURRY.
- THAT'S JOEY,
ALWAYS THINKING AHEAD.
- FINE. YOU WANT TO EAT,
I GOT NO PROBLEM WITH THAT.
BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE
WHY WE'RE HERE.
- ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I'M GONNA
REACH IN MY POCKET, VERY SLOWLY.
FISH,
YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WAS KIDS,
AND MAMA USED
TO COOK THESE ALL THE TIME?
- THE BEST.
- AND, CHEEKS,
YOU USED TO ALWAYS TALK ABOUT US
MAKING SOMETHING OF OURSELVES.
YOU USED TO BE A FATHER FIGURE
TO US.
YOU WANTED FISH AND ME TO BECOME
PILLARS OF SOCIETY,
ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT US STAYING
IN SCHOOL, ET CETERA, ET CETERA.
IT'S KIND OF CRAZY.
I THINK I FOUND MY PLACE
HERE IN SUNNYDALE.
- SALLY?
- I KNOW WE CAN'T CATCH UP
TO WHERE WE WERE.
BUT I FIGURED IT D BE BETTER
NOT TO GO IN EMPTY-HANDED.
YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW MANY PEOPLE
LIKE COOKIES FOR BREAKFAST.
- THAT IS SO SWEET OF YOU.
- ONCE A SUNNY GIRL...
- ALWAYS A SUNNY GIRL.
[sighs]
I REALLY MESSED THIS ONE UP.
- NO, YOU DIDN T.
JOEY S A GOOD MAN.
HE TAUGHT US A LOT.
- HE LIED TO US.
AND NOW I HAVE TO PAY THE PIPER,
AND CONSTANCE IS GONNA
WIN THIS COMPETITION.
- WE'RE GOING WITH YOU.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA SEE MS. "B"
ALONE.
- OH.
- WE GOT YOUR BACK.
- ARE YOU OKAY, MS. CLAYTON?
- YOU KNOW WHAT,
THE CONTEST DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE THE BEST SUNNY GIRLS
ANYONE COULD EVER HOPE FOR.
- FOUR SIDES OF ARRIBBIATA
AND A FLORENTINE FRITTATA
ON THE WAY.
- I GAVE THEM A FEW POINTERS
RIGHT OUT OF MAMA S KITCHEN.
- OKAY, LET'S EAT.
- ALL RIGHT.
- EGGPLANT. YOU KNOW,
I ALWAYS THOUGHT EGGS CAME
FROM CHICKENS, NOT FROM PLANTS.
BUT YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW
EVERY DAY, YOU KNOW.
[laughing]
[indistinct speech]
IT JUST KEEPS COMING OUT.
YOU WANT SOME BREAD?
- YEAH, PASS ME THE BREAD,
PLEASE.
OH, LOOK AT THIS.
- INCOMING.
OH, NO! THE COOKIES,
THE COOKIES.
- OH, NICE. YEAH.
- OH, MAN.
NOTHING
LIKE A GOOD FRITTATA, YOU KNOW?
- BOY.
- I CAN'T EAT ANYMORE, JOEY.
- LOOK, GUYS, I REALLY
APPRECIATE THIS LAST HURRAH.
IT'S MEANT A LOT TO ME.
[Italian music]
♪
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW?
- BATHROOM.
- WHAT A WONDERFUL MEAL.
PLEASE ACCEPT MY--
GRATUITY.
- HEY, THAT SNEAK.
HE TOOK THE MONEY.
- HE GOT MY WALLET TOO.
- HE'S GOT MINE TOO.
- YOU FELLAS AIN T GOING NOWHERE
UNTIL SOMEBODY PAYS THAT BILL.
- HE'S GOT OUR MONEY.
- WE'RE NOT GOING
TO HAVE A PROBLEM HERE, ARE WE?
- MY GIRLS DID JUST SUCH
A WONDERFUL JOB
WITH THIS FUNDRAISER.
- MM-HMM.
OH, FINALLY. THERE SHE IS.
LOOK AT THAT, MRS. "B,"
AMANDA BROUGHT HER TROOP.
SHE MUST BE VERY CONFIDENT
OF VICTORY.
- WIN OR LOSE, TROOP 217
DOES IT TOGETHER, CONSTANCE.
- HELLO, AMANDA.
HELLO, GIRLS.
SO NICE TO SEE YOU ALL TOGETHER.
CONSTANCE HAS BEEN ITCHING
TO BRAG ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY
HER TROOP RAISED.
I WANTED TO HOLD OFF
TILL YOU ARRIVED.
- THANKS, MS. "B."
- SO THE SPIRIT OF COMPETITION
IS STILL CLEARLY ALIVE AND WELL.
LET'S GO INSIDE AND SEE
WHO TOOK THE MOST ADVANTAGE.
COME ON.
COME ON, GIRLS.
- I THINK WE
ALL KNOW THAT ANSWER.
- PARDON ME, SIR.
WHAT ARE YOU, ABOUT A SIZE 12?
P.A. announcement: YOUR
ATTENTION PLEASE,
WE WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU TO
KEEP YOUR BAGS WITH YOU
AT ALL TIMES.
[engine starts]
- THANKS.
YOU'RE A SAINT.
- AND HOW DID YOUR FUNDRAISING
GO, AMANDA?
- IT WENT...
WONDERFULLY.
THESE GIRLS ARE AMAZING.
THEY LEARNED TO BAKE,
THEY LEARNED TO SELL,
AND THEY HAD LINES ALL THE WAY
AROUND THE BLOCK.
I COUNDN'T BE MORE PROUD
OF THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
- THAT'S THE SPIRIT I LIKE,
AMANDA.
LUCY, NITA, PING,
SALLY, YOU SHOULD BE
VERY PROUD OF YOURSELVES.
- YES, SO PROUD.
NOW LET'S SEE WHO SOLD MORE.
- WE DID OUR BEST.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
both: WE MADE THE BEST COOKIES.
- VERY WELL. AMANDA--
- JOEY?
- JOEY?
- HEY, GIRLS. SORRY I'M LATE.
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
all: NICE SHOES.
- YEAH.
- COME ON.
- YOUNG MAN,
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, JOEY?
- FOR ONCE, I AGREE WITH AMANDA.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE DONE
ENOUGH ALREADY, COOKIE RINGER?
- NOT NEARLY. AMANDA,
DIDN'T YOU GET MY MESSAGE?
- YES. LOUD AND CLEAR,
MR. D AMICO, WHEN YOU LEFT US
AND STOLE OUR MONEY.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHO YOU REALLY ARE, JOEY.
- OKAY, THAT'S FAIR.
I UNDERSTAND YOU MIGHT BE
A LITTLE UPSET.
SOME OF THE THINGS
I SAID WERE UNTRUE.
BUT THE GUY THAT WENT CAMPING
WITH YOU GIRLS,
THE GUY WHO BAKED COOKIES
WITH YOU,
THE GUY WHO TOOK YOU TO DINNER,
THAT GUY S ALL TRUE.
- WELL, THE BEST LIES
ARE HALF-TRUTHS.
AND SOMETHING TELLS ME
YOU'RE QUITE THE EXPERT
IN THAT DEPARTMENT.
- I WAS SUPPOSED TO BLEND IN,
KEEP A LOW PROFILE,
JUST FOR A FEW WEEKS.
BUT THEN I MET YOU
AND THE GIRLS.
AND I DID SOMETHING
I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO.
- WELL, A GUY LIKE YOU SEEMS
TO HAVE ALL ANGLES COVERED.
WHAT MISTAKES
COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE MADE?
- MORE LIKE A FORTUNATE
ACCIDENT, REALLY.
I FELL IN LOVE.
all: OOH.
- I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU,
AMANDA.
- WOW, MOM.
- OH, JOEY--
- [clears throat]
- THIS IS ALL REALLY LOVELY,
BUT WE ARE HERE
TO COUNT THE MONEY.
THE WINNER BECOMES THE OFFICIAL
SUNNYDALE GIRL ADVENTURERS
TROOP, AND THE LOSERS DISBAND.
WE ALL DID AGREE, RIGHT?
- SHE'S GOT A POINT.
- HERE.
- WHOA.
- THERE SHOULD BE
ABOUT $6,000 IN THERE.
AND ACCORDING TO THIS CONTEST,
AMANDA S TROOP SHOULD WIN.
- THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
YOUR COOKIES CAN'T BE THAT GOOD.
MRS. "B," HE'S A RINGER.
- IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE MONEY.
LOOK, AMANDA,
YOU MAY NOT HAVE A REASON TO,
BUT YOU GOT TO BELIEVE
THAT I ONLY TOOK OFF
CAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
- YOU'RE HERE NOW.
THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
RIGHT, MOM?
- WELL, UNFORTUNATELY,
I CAN'T STAY LONG.
BUT I COUNDN'T LEAVE WITH YOU
THINKING
THAT I BETRAYED YOUR TRUST.
I GOT TO GO. I'M SORRY.
ME BEING HERE ONLY
MAKES YOU IN DANGER.
GOOD-BYE, AMANDA.
- JOEY, WAIT.
- OKAY, JOEY, GAME S OVER.
KIND OF DISAPPOINTED I WAS RIGHT
ABOUT YOU COMING BACK
TO RETURN THE MONEY WE STOLE.
- OKAY, OKAY, I'M GOING.
- JOEY, YOU CAME BACK FOR US,
EVEN THOUGH YOU KNEW
THESE GUYS WOULD CATCH YOU.
- FORGET ABOUT IT.
IT WAS REALLY NICE MAKING
ACQUAINTANCE WITH YOU LADIES.
FELLAS, SHALL WE?
- YEAH, LET'S GET
THIS OVER WITH.
STEP ASIDE, STEP ASIDE.
WE'RE LEAVING.
- NOT SO FAST.
- HEY, IT'S THE AGENT.
- YEAH, EXCEPT THIS TIME
HE DIDN'T BRING ANY OF HIS FED
FRIENDS TO BACK HIM UP.
IT APPEARS HE'S COME ALONE.
BIG MISTAKE.
- OH, I BROUGHT BACKUP.
- VINCENTE, ROBERTO,
IF YOUR MOTHERS
WERE ALIVE TO SEE THIS,
THEY WOULD DROP DEAD
ON THE SPOT.
YOU COME HERE MENACING
THESE NICE PEOPLE?
AND FOR WHAT?
YOU WANT TO HURT JOEY
BECAUSE HE TRIED TO GO STRAIGHT?
- MAMA--
- UH-OH.
- MAMA, RIGHT.
YOU BOYS ARE GONNA
DO THE RIGHT THING.
YOU'RE GONNA DO YOUR TIME,
AND YOU'RE GONNA STOP
ALL THIS NONSENSE.
NOW SIT DOWN.
AND YOU STAY THERE
UNTIL I TELL YOU TO MOVE.
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
- WE'RE GONNA SIT HERE
UNTIL YOU TELL US TO GET UP.
- UM, SO I'M ASSUMING
THAT THEY'RE DISQUALIFIED.
I MEAN, REALLY, THEY'VE GOT
THE MAFIA HERE ON THEIR BEHALF.
- LISTEN, MISSY.
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A PEEP
OUT OF YOU.
JOEY S TOLD ME EVERYTHING
ABOUT YOU.
SOME LEADER YOU ARE,
YOU BUYING COOKIES AND PASSING
THEM OFF AS YOUR OWN.
YOU'RE NO DIFFERENT
THAN THESE MOOKS.
- OKAY, GREAT. I WILL--
I'LL JUST SIT RIGHT HERE
UNTIL YOU TELL ME TO MOVE.
GOT IT.
- HOW YOU DOING?
- AND ONE OTHER THING.
HOW MUCH MONEY
DID MISSY S TROOP RAISE?
- $4,212.
- AND AMANDA S?
- JOEY SAID OVER 6,000.
- SO SUNNY GIRL ADVENTURERS
MADE OVER $10,000.
CONSIDERING EVERYTHING,
I DON'T THINK THIS IS TOO BAD.
- YOU KNOW, SHE'S RIGHT.
$10,000 WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE
THAN THE SUNNYDALE TROOP
HAS EVER RAISED.
IT MIGHT PUT US IN CONTENTION
FOR THE NATIONAL PRIZE.
all: [cheering]
OKAY, IT'S ALL SETTLED.
I AM COMBINING BOTH TROOPS
INTO ONE...
- YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
- UNDER THE LEADERSHIP
OF AMANDA.
COUNTERFEIT COOKIES.
- AND YOU.
- MAMA, I CAN EXPLAIN.
- YOU THINK YOUR MAMA S A FOOL.
- NO, I DON T. I--
- STOP WITH THE STORIES.
I ALWAYS KNEW WHO YOU WERE
AND WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
- MAMA, PLEASE,
I DIDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
- YOU KNOW, ALL THOSE LIES
YOU TOLD ME ALL THE YEARS,
I ALWAYS KNEW.
BUT INSIDE, I KNEW YOU WERE
A GOOD BOY WITH A BIG HEART.
SO WHEN PUSH COME TO SHOVE,
I KNEW YOU WOULD LOVE ME
UNCONDITIONALLY.
- OH.
- THAT'S MY BOY.
[chuckles]
THAT'S AMORE.
[upbeat music]
♪