The Bugs Bunny/Road-Runner Movie (1979) - full transcript

Road-runner:
Beep beep!

Bugs bunny:
Oh, no, you don't.

Bugs bunny: * be it
pleasures and palaces *

* though I may roam

* be it ever so humble,
there's no place like home *

* be it ever so humble,
there's no place like home *

oh! How do you do?

Nice--nice of you to
drop by me humble abode.

My name is bunny.

Bugs bunny, esquire,
to be exact.

Ah...



One of the back bay bunnies...

Uh, back bay of Brooklyn,
that is.

I have also been known
by other flattering names.

For instance, I'm called
"that wascally wabbit"

by a certain e.--
Elmer Fudd,

who has spent many fruitless
and rather frustrating years
chasing me.

I have also been know as...

"That ornery,
carrot-eating varmint"

by a certain yosemite Sam,

who for some reason
hates rabbits.

I can't imagine why.

What started
all this chasing?

When was the very first chase?

Well, in order
to answer that question,



we'll have to swing back in time
a little bitty bit.

In the beginning,
all was peaceful and quiet.

Quite dark, too.

Oh, once in a while,
a star exploded...

But usually
it was just a small one,

only a million miles or so
in diameter.

Anyway, nobody complained,
which was odd,

until you realized that
there wasn't nobody around
to complain.

So for about
15-20 billion years,

things went along
smoothly and pleasantly

until one day, very deep
in a sixth-rate galaxy
called the milky way,

circling around
a fourth-rate star
called the sun,

on a tenth-rate planet,
a strange creature appeared,

a strange creature
called man.

I'll take it.

Bugs: And so neanderthal
person quickly invented
the first chase...

And the first competition...

And the first love...

And the first women's lib...

And the first domesticity
and the first boredom.

And so neanderthal persons,
in order to alleviate boredom,

invented the first graffiti.

What's on the wall
tonight, dear?

Westerns, sitcoms, soaps.

Bugs: And so the invention
of boredom

led to the invention
of moving pictures.

But after about
25,000 years of this

and having developed
severe cricks in their necks,

man and woman
became bored again,

even with all those brilliant,
ultramodern, innovative ideas,

like the first
motion-picture cameras.

I'm kind of tired
of documentaries.

Frankly, I wouldn't mind
a few laughs myself.

Bugs: And so it came to pass
that comedy was invented,

and comedy begat pratfalls...

And custard pies...

And double takes.

But most of all,
comedy begat chases.

And chases begat chases...

And chases...

And chases and chases...

Until the mind boggleth.

And then one day,
another strange
and historic creature appeared:

Me.

Ok, wabbit,
now I've got you.

Eh...
What's up, doc?

Bugs: So you see,
that's how chases began,

and that's how
I came into the picture,

just a mild mannered
forest creature,

shy, easily frightened.

A quiet-living rabbit am I.

And yet...

I guess in a way
I am an unusual rabbit

on account of, uh...Instead
of having hundreds of children,

like your ordinary
run-of-the-mill rabbit,

I had several fathers,

fathers with odd names,

like Tex Avery...

Uh, friz freleng...

Chuck Jones...

And Bob mckimson,

the ones who directed
most of me pictures.

Fathers like tedd Pierce,

Warren foster,

and Mike Maltese,

who wrote most of me biography.

And of course
a father named Mel blanc,

who had thousands of voices

and was nice enough
to give me one of them.

This show you're gonna see now
is about what just one
of those fathers did

with me
and me cartoon associates,

an animation director

who goes by the unlikely name
of Chuck Jones.

And old Chuck seemed determined
to get poor little old me
into outer space, too.

Gad! What a night!

I'll never mix radish juice
and carrot juice again.

Yech.

Brr! I hope the lake's warmed up
a little this morning.

Announcer: 10, 9, 8...

Bugs: Whew! Wow! The hole
seems long this morning.

Announcer: ...3, 2, 1, fire!

Bugs: Holy cow! I thought
I'd never reach the top of this.

Hey, who plugged up the hole?

Why, the sun
ain't even out yet.

No wonder I'm so slee--py.

Yikes! What was that? Oh!

Well, ask a silly question.

Something tells me
I should have stood in bed.

Where the heck am I,
anyways?

Well, wherever it is,
I don't like it,

and I'm getting out of here.

Hey, maybe that character
wearing a spittoon can help me.

At last, after
2,000 years of work,

the aludium
pu-36 explosive
space modulator.

Eh, pardon me, sir,
but could you--

at long last,
my dream come true.

Hey, doc, wait!

I want to ask you
something.

Ah...pardon me, doc,
but could you rent me
a u-drive flying saucer?

I've got to get back
to the earth.

Oh, well,
don't bother, then.

No point
in wasting money
on a flying saucer

when the earth's
not gonna--

clang!

Ah, pardon me again,
doc,

but just what
did you mean

by that crack about
the earth being gone?

Oh, I'm going
to blow it up.

It obstructs
my view of Venus.

It does?
That's a shame.

Where's the ka-boom?

There was supposed to be
an earth-shattering ka-boom.

The aludium pu-36
explosive space modulator!

That creature has stolen
the space modulator!

Delays, delays.

Capture that creature
and return the aludium pu-36
explosive space modulator.

Yoo-hoo!

Well, that's that.

Oh, dear.

Now I shall have to create
more martians.

Hey!

This martian hot rod better get
at least a million miles
to the gallon.

The earth ain't
just across the street.

Oh, goody! My aludium pu-36
explosive space modulator.

Well, back to
the old drawing board.

Boy, it's really wonderful
to be back in civilization.

Run for the hills, folks,
or you'll be up to your armpits
in martians.

As you can see, being a rabbit
is not just a bed of carrots.

But other people--

if you want to
call a duck people--

had close encounters
with that little martian, too,

as the ensuing, gripping,
and nerve-tingling drama
now demonstrates.

I have sent for you,
Dodgers, because we
are facing a crisis.

The world's supply
of aludium fosdex--

the shaving cream
atom--

is alarmingly low.

Now, we have
reason to believe

that the only
remaining source
is on planet x...

Somewhere
in this area.

And you want me
to find planet x,
is that it?

Can you do it,
Dodgers?

Oh, indubitably, sir,

because there's
no one knows his way
around outer space

like duck Dodgers
in the 24th
and a half century!

Are you ready,
eager young space cadet?

I'm r-r-r--all set,
your heroship, sir.

Then make way
for duck Dodgers

in the 24th
and a half century!

Oops! Ha ha!
Had the silly thing in reverse.

And now, then,
eager young space cadet,

here is the course
we shall pursue
to find planet x.

Starting from where we are,
we go 33,600 turbo miles due up.

Then west in an astro arc
deviation to here.

Then, following
the great circle,

7 radial loops
south by down east...

By astral astrobal to
here, here, and here.

Then by space navigable
compass to here, here,

and then to here and here...

And thus to our destination.

Now do you know how
to reach planet x?

Ah, y-y-y-y-y--
oh, sure.

Well,
I wish you'd explain it
to me sometime, buster.

W-W-Well,
it's very simple, sir.

If we follow
those planets,

we can't very well
miss planet x.

Ha ha ha!
Oh, that's ridiculous.

Of all
the stupid suggestions.

Uh, hey, wait a minute.
I think I've got it.

I'll just bet that
if we follow those planets,
we'll find planet x.

Gad! How do I do it?

I d-d-don't know.

I claim this planet
in the name of the earth.

I claim this planet
in the name of Mars.

Er...isn't that
lovely? Hmm?

Look, bud, I've
got news for you.

I have already claimed
this bit of dirt
for the earth,

and there just
ain't room enough
on this planet

for the two of us.

I do believe
you are right.

Huh! Little
does he realize

that I have on my
disintegration-proof
vest.

You may fire
when ready, grizzly.

Who? What? Where?
When? How? Who?
Who? What?

Oh, you, huh?

Just when
I had him going,
you had to butt in.

Well, get back
in that spaceship.

Eh, yes, sir,
your heroship, uh, sir.

Aha! Got
the drop on you with my
disintegrating pistol,

and, brother,
when it disintegrates,
it disintegrates.

Huh. Well,
what do you know?

It disintegrated.

Happy b-b-birthday,
you thing from
another world, you.

Oh! Thank you!

Duck: Well, I guess
he's had enough.

I'll send him an ultimatum.

I'll see what
the little stinker is up to
on my supervideo detecto set.

That's the last straw!

Now I use my secret weapon!

Ha ha ha!

Heh heh heh!

As I was saying, buster,
this planet ain't big enough
for the two of us,

so off you go!

And now this planet is
hereby claimed for the earth

in the name of duck Dodgers
in the 24th and a half century!

B-Big deal.

Bugs: I don't remember just how
daffy got down from planet x.

Maybe they had to
shoot him down.

But anyway,
he's back at his old stand
as the errol Flynn of duckdom.

I remember well the first time
he tried to sell himself

as the logical successor
to errol.

* oh...

* join up with me,
so joyous and free *

* and away
to old Sherwood hie *

* for I'm Robin hood,
and I'm very good *

* at avoiding
the sheriff's eye *

* so we'll trip along merrily *

* o'er the greensward
so gracefully *

* to trip it, trip it,
trip it, trip it *

* trip it up and down

* to trip it, trip it,
trip it, trip it *

trip it! Trip it! Trip it!
Whoops! Trip it! Trip it!

* so trip it
up and down *

ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ho ho and ha ha, eh?

I'll ho ho
and ha ha you, fat friar...

With my trusty
quarterstaff!

Actually, it's
a buck-and-a-quarter
quarterstaff,

but I'm not
telling him that.

Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn!
Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha!

Thrust!

Hmm. Let's see, now.

Somethin' amiss here.

Hmm. I'll run through it.

Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn!
Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha!

Thrust!

Got it.

Now, then...

Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn!
Parry! Dodge! Spin!

Oh, knock it off.

How jolly can you get?

P-Prithee,
o traveling clown,

coulds't thou directest me
to Robin hood's hideout?

I woulds't fain
join me up with his band
of j-j-jolly outlaws.

Look no further,
good friar,

for I am he for
whoms't thou seekest.

I am Robin hood!

Oh, uh,
c-c-cut it out.
I'm serious.

If you don't know
where he is, just say so.

But honest and truly,
I am Robin hood!

Sure, you are.

Look, give me a chance,
can't you?

I'll prove
I'm Robin hood.

See yon rich,
unwary traveler?

I'll Rob him of his gold
and give it to some
poor unworthy slob.

That'll prove
that I'm Robin hood.

Hmm? Prithee? Hmm?

Now, then, fatso,

i-i-I'm watching,
Jester.

Why, I don't know how
I could have doubted you.

Shall we spend the gold
all in one place?

Ho ho. Very funny.
Ha ha. It is to laugh.

Yoiks and away!

Yoiks and away!

Yoiks and away!

Yoiks and away.

Yoiks and away.

Yoiks and away.

Why, you...

Now, then...

Aha! Now--

I'm sorry,
but I can't join you.

I'm convinced you're
just not Robin hood.

Never mind
joining me.
I'll join you.

Shake hands
with friar duck.

Bugs: Well, daffy decided

to have one more shot

at the musketeer business,

namely, well, uh...
See for yourself.

Stand back, musketeers!

They shall sample my blade!

Touche! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!

Musketeers? Huh? En garde?

My blade?

Hey, psst!
Whoever's in charge here!

The scenery!
Where's the scenery?

Stand back, musketeers!
They shall sample my...Blade?

Hmm?

Ok, have it your way.

* daffy duck, he had a farm

* e-i-e-i-o

* and on this farm,
he had an igloo *

* e-i-e-i-o

would it be too much to ask
if we could make up our minds?

Hmm?

* dashing through the snow

* ya ha ha ha ha

* through the fields we go

* laughing all the way

* farewell to thee,
farewell to thee *

* the wind will carry back
our sad refrain *

* one last embrace
before we say-- *

hmm? Hrmph!

Buster, it may come
as a complete surprise to you

to find that this is
an animated cartoon

and that in animated cartoons
they have scenery,

and in all the years I've--

all right, wise guy,
where am I?

Aah! Bbblll!

And I've never been
so humiliated in all my life!

Look, mack, just what's
going on around here?

Let's get organized, hmm?

How about some scenery?

That's dandy. Ho ho!
That's rich, I'll say.

Now how about some color,
stupid?

Hey!

Grrr! Not me,
you slop artist!

Well, where's
the rest of me?

It isn't as though I haven't
lived up to my contract,

goodness knows.

I haven't kept myself trim,
goodness knows.

I've done that.
That's strange.

All of a sudden,
I don't quite feel like myself.

Oh, I feel all right,
and yet i--i--eek!

You know better than that!

Well?

Hmm? Sea picture, eh?

I always wanted
to do a sea epic.

Now, Mr. Rembrandt,

* over the sea, let's go, men *

* we're shoving right off,
we're shoving right off *

again?

Hey! Come here! Come here!
Give me a closeup! A closeup!

This is a closeup?

A closeup, you jerk!
A closeup!

Thanks for the sour persimmons,
cousin.

Now, look, buster,
let's have an understanding.

Now what?

Brother! What a way
to run a railroad.

Now, then,
as I was saying--

uh! Uh! Uh!

Aah!

All right,
let's get this picture started.

No! No!

Listen, pal, let's discuss
this thing sanely, huh?

Look, I tell you what.

You go your way,
and I'll go mine.

Live and let live.
Right? Right.

Ladies and gentlemen,
there will be no further delays,

so I shall attempt
to entertain you

in my own inimitable fashion.

Now what?

What are you doing down there?

Down here?
What are you doing up there?

Down here.

Listen, bud, if you
wasn't me, I'd smack you
right in the puss.

Don't let that
bother you, Jack!

Ok, buddy,
you asked for it!

Oh, brother!
I'm a buzzboy!

Uh-oh. Time to hit
the old silk.

Geronimo!

All right,
enough is enough!

This is the final,
the very, very last straw!

Who is responsible
for this--this...

I demand that you show yourself!
Who are you? Huh?

Heh heh heh!
Ain't I a stinker?

Now, one of the problems
I always had with aminators--
animators--

is that they can't ever
seem to tell the difference
between a rabbit and a mole.

Very humiliating
having to burrow your way
wherever you want to go,

and somehow, I always forgot
to take that left turn
at Albuquerque.

Well, here I am!

Hey, just
a cotton-picking minute.

This don't look like
the koacella valley to me.

Hmm. I knew I should have taken
that left turn at Albuquerque.

Oh, well.
I'll just ask this gent
in the fancy knickerbockers.

Eh, I beg your par--

eh, pardon me, sir,
but could you direct me
to the shortest route

to the koacella valley
and the big carrot
festival...Therein?

Ah...what's up, doc?

Stop steaming up
my tail!

What are you trying
to do, wrinkle it?

Let's see, now.

Koacella valley.

Hmm.

Then to Las Vegas,
San bernadino--

of course you realize
this means war.

Ahh...me public.

- Heh heh!
- What a gulli-bull.

- Heh heh!
- What a nim-cow-poop.

Eh, pardon me, mack.

Ok, toro, whenever
you can spare the time.

Booby trap.

Uh-oh.

Heh heh heh!
What an im-becile.

What an ultra-maroon.

Heh heh heh! Uh-oh!

Traveling alone can be boring.

Personally,
I prefer to travel with
some foxy little rabbit chick,

like Sophia here.

But--ahh--

unselfish, pushy, self-serving,
conceited, self-made favorite

of everyone including himself--
daffy duck.

Close sesame.

Guard well
this treasure,
o hasaan,

or the jackal
shall grow fat
on thy carcass.

No one shall
pass hasaan.

Bugs: Ouch!

Open, uh...

Open...

Duh, open,
uh, sarsaparilla?

Uh, open saskatchewan?

Well, here we are--
pismo beach and all
the clams we can eat!

What a way for
a duck to travel--
underground.

Hey, wait a minute.

Since when is pismo beach
inside a cave?

I wonder...

Uh, then maybe
a right turn
at la jolla.

Hmm. Ah.

Well, we can't be
too far off,

so if we...

It's mine,
you understand?!

Mine! All mine!
Get back in there!

Down! Down! Down!
Go! Go! Go!
Mine! Mine! Mine!

Ah...what's up, duck?

I'm rich!
I'm wealthy! Yahoo!

I'm comfortably well-off.
Woo-hoo!

Uh, open septuagenarian?

Uh, open saddle soap?

Uh, open sesame?

* I'm in the money *

* la ta, the money

ah, redcap.

Uh, call me a cab, boy,
and be quick about it.

I'm a heavy tipper.

Ah ha ha ha!

Aah!

Quick, quick!
Save me, pal,
and it's yours!

Gorgeous, isn't it?
Don't be afraid.

Have it appraised
anyplace.

Proud punk.

Hasaan chop!

Yeah? Well, chop the rabbit.
He brought us here.

Me genie, the
light-brown hare.

O mighty genie.

Release me,
and I shall Grant
thee a rich reward.

He's lying!
Chop him! Chop him!

Hasaan release you,
o master!

Thank you, hasaan.

Now, woulds't
thou like to have

all this treasure
for thy very own?

Oh, yes, master.
Hasaan like...
Hasaan like!

Very well.

Iggity aggity ooh ah-ah!

Ziggity zaggity zoo ah-ah!

Ah-ah ooh-ooh eh-eh ack!

Flippity flapity floop!

It's yours.

Iggity aggity oop!

Oh-oh squeak.
Ah-ah...

I don't know.

Daffy:
Help! Help!

Help, save me, pal!
Save me! Help!

Hasaan chop!

Daffy: Help!

Ok, daff, back here.

What's with you anyway?

Daffy: I can't help it.
I'm a greedy slob.

It's my hobby. Save me!

Hasaan: Hasaan chop!

Him go that-away.

Daffy: Is he gone?

Yeah. I got rid of him.

Oh, boy! I'm rich!

I'm wealthy!
I'm independent!

I'm socially secure!

I'm rich! I'm rich!
I'm rich!

There. I think
that's the last of it.

Just a quick check
to see if I missed anything.

Hey, what's this? Hmm.

Well, polished up, it might
bring another quick four bits
on the open market.

I am the genie
of the lamp, o master.

Oh, no, you don't!
You want my treasure!

Well, it's mine,
understand?!

All mine! Down! Down!
Go! Go! Mine!

Duck, you have desecrated
the spirit of the lamp.

Yipe!

Consequences,
schmonsequences.

As long as I'm rich.

I wonder how that crazy duck
ever made out with that genie?

Hey, what do you know?
A Pearl!

It's mine, you understand?!
Mine! Mine! All mine!

Go! Go! Go!
Mine, do you hear me?!

Out! Out! Out!
Mine! Mine! Mine!

Oh, brother!
Close sesame.

I'm rich.
I'm a happy miser.

I sometimes get the feeling
that the entire population
of the world

is made up of people who want to
shoot, fry, dice, or parboil
rabbits and/or ducks.

For instance,
old Elmer Fudd, who, like
so many other brave sportsmen,

never seems really happy
unless he's protecting
innocent citizens

by shooting
dangerous forest animals,

like rabbits and ducks.

Shh.
Be very, very quiet.
I'm hunting wabbits.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, boy! Wabbit twacks!

Oh, bugsy.
Bugsy, pal.

There's a friend
here to see ya.

Survival of the fittest.

And besides, it's fun.
Hoo hoo!

Did someone knock?

Ah...what's up, doc?

Now I got you,
you...You...Wabbit!

Ha ha ha!

Say, doc, are you
trying to get yourself
in trouble with the law?

This ain't
rabbit hunting season.

It's not?

No. It's
duck hunting season.

That, sir, is
an inmitigated
frabrication.

It's wabbit season!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

I say
it's duck season,
and I say fire!

Hmm...

Let's try that again.

Ok.

I'll start it
this time.

Right.

Wabbit season!

Duck season.

Wabbit season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season! Fire!

Ok, this time,
you start it.

Whatever you say.

Wabbit.

Duck!

Fire!

What's the matter?
Everything's
upside-down.

Strange. Can't make
heads or tails of things.

Hey, you!
Come back here!

Well, what do you know?
No more bullets.

No more bullets?
Hey, laughing boy,
no more bullets.

No more bullets?

Here. Let me
see that thing.

Hmm.

"One bullet weft?"
Hey, laughing boy,
there was--

I know! I know!

Hmm.

Devilishly clever.
Uh-oh.

Ah, what's up, doc?

Having any luck
with those ducks?

It's duck season,
you know?

Just a darn minute.
Where do you get that
duck season stuff?

Says so
right over there
on that sign.

You're so smart.

You know what to do
with that gun, doc.

You're despicable.

Yes, you're
despicable and--
and pickable,

and you're very
definitely despicable!

How a person can
get so despicable
in one lifetime

is beyond me.

It isn't as though
I haven't met
a lot of people.

Goodness knows
it isn't that!

It isn't that
that's that.

Goodness knows...
It isn't...

It's...
It's...

Despicable.

Filet of duck
bordelaise
maitre d'butter.

Yum yum.

Duck polonaise
under glass. Mmm-mm.

Rabbit au gratin
de gelatin

under
tooled leather.

Oh, drool, drool.

Barbecued duck meat
with broiled duckbill
milanese.

Yummy yum!

Chicken-fried rabbit
with cottontail sauce
braised in carrots.

Mmm-mmm.

I'm sorry, fellows,
but I'm a vegetarian.

I just hunt for
the sport of it.

Ha ha ha!

Anyone for tennis?

Nice game.

Now, you screwy wabbit,
you're next.

All right, come out
or I'll blast you out!

For shame, doc.

Hunting rabbits
with an elephant gun.

Elephant gun?

That's right, doc.

You do and I'll give
you such a pinch!

Ooh, just wait till
I get that screwy wabbit
and that screwball duck.

Grr!

Hey, what's
the big idea?

Why don't you look
where you--huh?

Oh, how simply dreadful.

You poor little man.

Did I hurt you
with my naughty gun?

Aw, shucks.

Well, I, uh...

Ha ha ha!

Grr!

Yeow!

Gypsy,
you naughty bow-wow.

Stop that.

Ok, wabbit,
I see through that disguise.

Say your prayers.

You, too, duck.

Wabbit season.

Duck season.

Wabbit season.

Duck season.

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

Uh-oh.

Shh. Be very,
very quiet.

We're hunting elmers.

Ha ha ha!

Now here is a gentleman who
knows what chasing is all about.

He lives in France, where all
good Americans go when they die.

And in France,

the onliest reason for chasing
anybody is for love.

Sacre maroon!

Le help!

Assistance!

Gendarme! Gendarme!

Pouf, Jose.
Gendarme can le fix.

Oh, thank you, le gendarme.
Merci beaucoup, le thanks.

Sacre cerise!

Le pew!

Quelle terrible odeur!

Un smell-e-vous fine.

I am ze bankrupt!

Le mew. Le purr.

Ah! Le pussy ferocious.

Remove zat skunk--

zat polecat
from ze premises.

Avec!

Que les?

Ah! Le belle femme skunk fatale.

Ah, my little darling.

It is love at first sight,
is it not?

No?

Do not come with me
to the kasbah.

We shall make beautiful music
together right here.

Huh?

This little love.

Now she is seeking for us
a trysting place.

Touching, is it not?

Come, my little peanut
of brittle.

I will help you.

Wait for me. Wait.

Where are you, pigeon?

I am looking for you.

I am goi--

huh?

I missed, fortunately for you.

So now, mon cherie,
we can begin life anew.

C'est la guerre.

Hello, baby.

I am ze locksmith of love, no?

Come, darling. We must
be grown-up about this thing.

Do not turn away from ze love.

Here. What is this?

Oh, but of course.

This little one
wish to commit suicide
to prove her love for me.

What a sweet gesture.

Nevertheless, I must prevent it.

Saved!

Vive l'amour!

We die together.

I am not dead? No.

What's this?
Is that you, pigeon?

Is that...

Huh?

Oh, pardon, grandmama,

but have you seen a beautiful
young lady skunk?

Where are you, pigeon? Hmm?

I am looking somewhere
to find you.

Yoo-hoo, rabbit.

Where are you, hmm?

Aha. Perhaps you have
returned in here.

Are you here, then, golden girl?

Eh...who is this?

Oh, it is you again.

Eh, what can I do
to help you?

Eh...why do you
lock ze...

Oh, no!

Control yourself, madame.

You cannot be in earnest.

Heh heh. A joke, yes?

No.

You know, it is possible
to be too attractive.

The minute waltz
played in 30 seconds.

New world record.

There are people
who just don't like music,

as I found out one day.

* on a rainy night in rio

* a-rink a-dink a-dink

* oh, starry sky

* where do they go
when they can't go for a walk? *

* do they stay home and talk

* or do they sit inside?

* what do they do
in Mississippi *

* when skies are drippy?

Bugs: * and what do they do
in Tijuana *

* when they wanna
snuggle tight *

* well--

Music hater.

* she's a fancy stepper
when she dances *

* go and see her as she capers
and prances *

* my gal don't do much talking *

* dances even when
she's walking *

opera singer: * one and two
and three and four *

* she dances all day long

bugs: * oh, my gal
is a highborn stepper *

* ginger with salt and pepper

* she's a fancy stepper
when she dances *

* go and see her as she capers
and prances *

ah...what's up, doc?

Hmm. Also a rabbit hater.

Oh, well.

Uh-oh.

Of course you know
this means war!

Leopold!

Leopold!

Leopold!

Leopold.

Leopold.

Band: Leopold!

L-L-Leopold!

* ahhhh

* ahhhh

* ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh

* ahhh

* ahhh

* ahhh

* ahhh

* la

* la

* la

* la

* ahhh

* ahhh

* ahhh

* ahhh

Well, you either hate opera
or you love it.

I love it.

I loved it so much,

nibalane--nibalu--
nibelung--

and squashed it down
to 7 minutes.

* be very quiet

* I'm hunting wabbits *

Wabbit tracks.

* kill the wabbit

* kill the wabbit

* kill the wabbit

kill the wabbit?

* yohoto

* yohoto

* yohoto

* yoho--

* oh, mighty
warrior of great
fighting stock *

* might I inquire
to ask *

ah...

* what's up, doc? *

* I'm going to kill
the wabbit *

* oh, mighty hunter,
'twill be quite
a task *

* how will you do it,
might I inquire
to ask? *

* I will do it with
my spear and magic helmet *

* your spear
and magic helmet? *

* spear
and magic helmet *

* magic helmet?

* magic helmet

magic helmet.

* yes, magic helmet

* and I'll give you a sample *

Bye.

That was the rabbit.

* oh, brunnhilde

* you're so lovely *

* yes, I know it

* I can't help it *

* oh, brunnhilde

* be my love

* return, my love

* a longing burns
deep inside me *

* return, my love

* I want you always
beside me *

* love like ours
must be *

* me for you
and for me *

* return

* won't you return,
my love? *

* for my love is yours

I'll kill the wabbit!

Arise, storm!

North winds blow!

South winds blow!

Typhoons!

Hurricanes!

Earthquakes!

Smog!

White lightning,
strike the wabbit!

What have I done?

I've killed the wabbit.

* poor little bunny

* poor little wabbit

Well, what did you expect
in an opera, a happy ending?

I will say this for Elmer.

He really doesn't want us
for food.

He just does it
'cause he's a sportsman.

That's different than
some people who go hunting
'cause they're really hungry,

like a coyote, for instance,
who will eat anything,

including me.

Ah...what's up, doc?

Allow me
to introduce myself.

My name is wile e. Coyote--
genius.

I'm not selling anything
nor am I working my way
through college.

I--

so let's get down
to cases.

You are a rabbit,
and I am going to
eat you for supper.

Now don't try
to get away.

I am more muscular,
more cunning, faster,
and larger than you are,

and...I'm a genius,

while you could hardly pass
the entrance examinations
to kindergarten.

So I'll give you
the customary two minutes
to say your prayers.

I'm sorry, mack.
The lady of the house
ain't home,

and besides,
we mailed you people
a check last week.

Why do they always want to do it
the hard way?

Wile e., you genius!

You've done it again!

Ah...

What's cookin', doc?

Rabbit stew.

Ha ha ha!

Egad! I'm such a genius!

Mmm! Smells mighty good!

But, uh, there's
only one little thing
wrong with it.

There is? What?

No rabbit.

* I'm looking over
a three-leaf clover *

* that I overlooked be three

well, back to
the old drawing board.

Genius! That's what it is!

Sheer genius!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Wile e. Coyote--
super genius.

I like the way that rolls out.

Wile e. Coyote--

super genius.

Wile e. Coyote--

super genius.

Allow me
to introduce myself.

My name is mud.

And remember,
mud spelled backwards
is dum.

Well, uh, even a genius gets
the message after a while

and realizes that eating rabbit
cooked or raw isn't such
a smart idea.

Raw rabbit?

What a revolting idea.

So old wile e. Decided that he'd
better pursue something
more his size.

For instance...

Beep beep! Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Road-runner: Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

How's that for a big production?

I'll bet even old
Cecil b. De Mille would
be jealous of that one.

Well, I'm sure
old neanderthal person

never envisaged
anything like that

when he started
the very first chase.

But then if he hadn't invented
the chase,

maybe, just maybe,
laughter wouldn't have
been invented either,

and that, old buddies,
would have been a real loss.

Well, who knows?

Maybe...uh, just maybe the whole
universe will get the idea,

and stars and suns,
meteors and comets,

even galaxies will realize
how necessary laughter is
and how much fun chases are.

And...

Beep beep!

Bugs: And finally,

all will once again be peaceful
and quiet.

Or, uh, will it?

Yes?

Well?

Well, uh, after all,
credits where credit is due.

Eat your heart out,
Burt Reynolds.