The Breakdown (2021) - full transcript

Man: All right,
y'all got everything?

-Yep.
-Yeah, I think so.

All right.
Let's go.

There you go.
Have a good trip.

Okay...

-Hey, Mr. T.
-Hey, Kirk!

-Katie.
-Hey.

You two excited?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Right, right.
Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Mr. T.
You haven't quit yet?



Any day now.
Ha ha.

Heh.

Richard!

-Oh!
-Whoa! Hey! No.

Good, that's good.

Uh, thank you, Jessica.
Very inappropriate.

Okay.

I'm so juiced.

This is gonna be fire.

I don't know
what that means.

-Good morning,
Mr. Thompson.
-Hi, Maddy.

Whoa!
How much you bench?

Woman: Morgan!

Have a great trip.



-Be good.
-I will.

-I love you?
-Love you, too.

What up, Mr. T?

Hey, Wings,
will you give us a--

Oh, never mind,
we got it.

Hey, Morgan.
Will you give us a hand?

Mr. Thompson: Whoo!
Thanks, Buddy.

I got you.

What's up?

Um...

Hi.

Hey.

Okay.

Maddy: Hey, Morgan.

Hey, Maddy.

-You excited?
-Yeah, get me
out of here.

All right!

Who's ready
for the O.C.N.?

Yeah!

-Oh, man.
-What's up,
my old phony?

Good to see you, Wings,
as always.

How is everyone?
Comfortable?

Cigars? Cigarettes?
Hand stuff?

I don't know.
I'm offering it all, people.

-Hey, guys.
-Hey.

Ahem. Sorry, bro, just let me,
uh, get in here real fast.

So, is it a rock-paper-scissors
thing or...

Sorry, Maddy.
It's top-secret.

Only the receptive
shall receive.

That doesn't mean anything.

You don't mean anything.

I'm just kidding.

So, are you guys
ready for California?

I hear they got beaches.

Muscle beaches.

I'm just looking forward
to meeting

some California girls.

Not to mention
the international beauties.

Are you planning
to woo them

with your stupid
friendship song?

Hey... you don't talk
about the friendship song.

-Friendship song
is iced shit.
-Mm-hmm.

One day, you will
tell me what it means.

You guys looking forward
to the Music Exchange?

Hell, yeah.

What's that?

Mr. T explained it
at rehearsal.

Oh? Yeah,
I wasn't listening.

It's where we sit with
an international band,

and we play
each other's music.

-Ohh...
-And...

you may not speak
the same language...

-Uh-huh.
-But you communicate

through eye contact.

-Uh-huh.

-And the sensual
sound of song.
-Yeah.

Maybe I'll get to share keys
with a hot Brazilian,

accidentally touch hands.

Oh, my God, Morgan,
look who it is.

Ugh! Gross, man.

Your-- Your retainer
spit all over me.

Bet you wish that
was your cheek slathered
in saliva, don't you?

-Shut up.
-I can go get
you a sample.

You realize you don't
stand a chance, right?

Unless you, I don't know,
talked to her?

- "Talked."
-"Talked."

"To her"!

It's not that hard.

"Hi, my name is Morgan.
I like books. What is female?"

-God.

Good morning, Richard.

Ready for your...
first band trip?

Ohh, yes, sir.
I'm looking forward to it.

Good. Good.
You'll do... fine.

Now, I am obligated
to ask you

because of some
unsettling events

that have just
come to light, heh--

Not with you!
Not... here, of course.

Elsewhere.

The PTA asked me to ask
that you--

not just you,
all the faculty--

not, um...

and that is not to say
that we think that you would...

We don't enjoy making
people feel uncomfortable.

No. Not at all.
Please.

Well, you know,

I hate to be so specific,
but the PTA...

You know, they
really demand directness

with this sort of thing.

Well, yeah,
you have to be direct.

Mm, yes.
Better to say something

than leave it unsaid.

So I'll say it.

The PTA has asked me
to ask you

not to, uh,
do anything,

you know...
with the, uh...

You know.

-Oh, God.
-I know! I know..

You would never
do somethin' so heinous.

But they feel
we should be blunt

when it comes to matters
like this.

-Unsettling as they may be.
-Of course.

And I appreciate
your being so direct.

But let me be clear
that I would never--

No doubt.
No doubt.

We have the utmost
confidence in you.

After all, you turned around
the music department.

Everyone loves you!
The-- the parents,

the kids.

We just ask
that you don't...

Of course.
No. And thank you.

I just-- let me assure you
that I would never--

No assurance needed.
I assured you!

It's just that California's
a coastal state,

and many find it
bewitching.

You understand.

Yes. Yes.

Anyway, glad we could
have this frank talk.

Yes! Me, too.

-You won't, uh...
-No! Definitely not.

Pinky swear.

Good! Well, you...

better get a move on.

Have fun!

But not too much fun!

-Boo!

I got you.

Good one, Jessica!
Please take your seat.

Okay.

Good morning, students!

All:
Good morning, Mr. T.

-All right! Janice...

To make sure that you're
all here in this reality,

I shall now...
take... the roll.

-Tony.
-Here.

Congratulations.
You exist.

-Wayne.
-Here.

Congratulations.
Wings.

-Yo!
-Congrats.

Maddy.
Good mornin'.

Uh, Jessica exists
to torment me.

I love you!

Inappropriate.
Morgan.

-Yes, very inappropriate!
-Thank you!

Siblings, Kirk and Katie.

Kirk and Katie:
Here!

Right. And Janice,
as ever, is present.

And then there's....

Yes! I exist.

Uh, fortunately.

Jason, I hereby
banish you

to the plane
of nonexistence

until your musical skills
are required.

-Yvette.

Good morning.
And last but not least... me.

Thank you.

Joining us on our flight
will be Mr. Darren,

the Red Baron.

All right,
does everybody have

everything they need
for this trip?

Because once
we hit the freeway,

there's no comin' back,
that's it.

Anyone?

You guys excited?

Students:
Yeah!

Let's kick some ass.

-Woman: Bye, kids!
-Man: Bye!

-Man 2: Call me! Call me!

Woman: Bye! Love you!

Wah, wah, wah!

Okay, kids, let's go!
Let's go. Back on the bus.

Back on the bus.
Let's ride.

Boy: But I didn't
get to go potty.

-Girl 1: Who was that?
-Girl 2: That was Jason.

-Girl 1: Jason!
-Students: Jason!

Kirk: Go to the back,
guys, man.

Girl 2:
To the back of the bus,
where it already stinks.

Girl 1: Farther.
All the way.

Girl 2: Uggh! Pillow.

Sorry, I couldn't sleep.

Mind if I sit here?

Uh...
Uh, yeah.

No, go ahead.

What are you
looking for?

-Huh?
-Your book?

Oh! Yeah, it was--
it was at the gas station.

Um, it tells you
places to visit

based on what you're...
looking for.

What are you looking for?

Uh, I-I have--
I haven't traveled much.

I just got the book.

What--
What are you into?

Oh, you know, different stuff.
Art, jazz... history.

Really? You? I--

I-I mean, me too.

Wh-What kind
of history do you like?

Sexual history.

What?

You know, procreation,

our biological
and cultural frameworks.

How they've changed
over the millennia.

Evolution wouldn't work

if we weren't hardwired
to enjoy sex.

So, pleasure
is not only natural,

it's essential.

Isn't that neat?

Um...
Definitely, yeah.

Procreation is the best.

Uh, you must have...
fun homework.

Can I sleep with you?

What?

The big doofus up there
keeps falling on me.

Don't make me go back.

Oh, and your shoulder
is so comfortable.

Uh... yeah.
No problem.

Be mine... guest.

Thanks.

Your girlfriend
won't mind?

What, Maddy?

Oh... no,
we're not friends.

We're-- We're just friends.

Good. I wouldn't want
to steal you from anyone.

Just borrow you.

Mmm. You smell nice.

You don't mind?

Um... what a--
what about your girlfriend?

Wings? Oh, we're
not really together.

I'm not even sure
if he likes me anymore.

What are you doing?

Homework.

-Are you crazy?
-Shh.

No one has to know.

We can do it quietly.

Just don't wake up...

-You okay?
-Huh?

It was a--
a ba--

Muscle cramp.

Maddy: Muscle cramp, huh?

Well, only one way
to fix that.

Don't... say it.

Don't say it.

-Boy: Yo... what--
-Girl: What was that?

Boy 2: What's going on?

Shit.

It wasn't me.

I've been in worse.

Who wants to share a bed?

Wings:
All right, this one's mine.

You guys can have that thing.

Wanna sleep ass to mouth?

You mean head to toe?

-Yeah.
-No.

It sucks, we should be
at the ocean right now.

At least the water's clear.

No hair in the shower.

Smells like ham sandwiches.

-Sheets are clean.
-Yeah, but what is this?

-Is this blood?
-Oh, my God.

I can't tell.

Why does it always look dark
in these places?

Because sin lives
in the shadows.

Hey, speaking of sin...

You ready?

-Yes.
-Alright.

Holy shit.

I can't believe
we're stranded here.

Yeah, I know, but on
the bright side, no parents.

And Mr. Thompson barely counts
as adult supervision.

I wonder if there's
any food around here.

-Holy shit.
-What?

Dude, Tony says the girls just
invited them over for an orgy.

-No way.
-Yeah, I know, but look.

Man, they're just messing
with him.

He says they're serious.

No, then they're definitely
messing with him.

Yeah, I guess.
Girls are just so immature.

-Totally.
-Boy: What are you looking at?

-Nothing. Nothing.
-It's stupid.

-It's one of those 3D pics?
-Mm...

-You don't think...
-That they'd actually...

-There's no way, right?
-No, no way, of course not.

They're just messing with us,
or them, messing with them.

-They're so gullible.
-I know.

But not us.
We're better than that. No way.

Mm-mm.

-Desk Clerk: Hi.
-Hi, is there
a liquor store nearby?

-Um...
-Thompson: Liquor store?

What for?

Um... supplies,
air freshener for...

Jason's gas problem.

Uh-huh. Come here for a second.

Hey, you know this is
my first band trip, right?

-Yeah.
-Yeah, it's not going
that great.

So, uh, till the bus is fixed,

I kinda need
to take us somewhere
that's at least somewhat...

educational.

Can you help me pick one?

-Okay.
-It's just that
you're a good student.

I'm not a good teacher,
and I'm a temporary one
at that, so...

Till the band kicks off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The band, the band.

Well, I can
research these tonight
and hook you up tomorrow.

Would you?
Oh, Morgan, that would rock.

Thank you very much,
I appreciate you.

Oh, one more thing.

Will you help me keep
an eye on the others?

Dude...

I know, nobody wants to be
a narc, it's just that...

I'm all by myself out here.

Just keep an ear out,
no one will know.

Besides, I'll know if anyone
leaves their room after curfew.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Just a little something
my teacher did to our rooms
back in the day.

'Course, we got around it.

Let's just say there was
a sacrificial lamb

with political capital.

-I have no idea
what that means.
-Well, good!

Hey, it's our little secret,
though, right, Mr. My Spy?

Right.

Is there a liquor store nearby?

How'd you do?

Pretty good.
We got a problem though.

What?

Mr. Th-- Oh, Jesus!

Mr. Thompson's gonna know
if we leave.

Said he's gonna do something
to the rooms.

-Like a booby trap?
-I don't know.

-What should we do?
-I mean, not much we can do.

This could be like the most
important night of our lives.

So a little trouble might
just be the price of admission.

I guess. Did you find out
where it is?

Oh, yeah, I have a hunch.

Yeah? No!

Now we smell like twinsies,
dude, come on!

-That is not a
good thing, Jason.
-Yes, it is!

That's curfew, ladies.
No going out, okay?

All: Okay, Mr. T!

-Don't stay up too late.
-We won't!

That's curfew.
Goodnight, you two.

Goodnight.

Curfew. Goodnight, gentlemen.

Goodnight, Mr. T!

That's curfew. Goodnight, boys.

-Goodnight, Mr. T.
-Goodnight.

Cutting it close.

Nothing fancy.

Got to keep it casual in case
they open that door

and nothing's going on inside.

What do you guys want?

Nothing, just borrowing
some sugar.

Well, there's no sugar here.

But there's plenty of honey.

Where are you guys goin'?

-Nowhere. Nowhere.
-Nowhere.

Death is just a state of mind.

True friendship
won't be left behind.

Come on.

Nerds.

Okay, come on.

-Jesus. Hey, guys.

-Shh.
-Shh.

Where are you going?

The girls are having
an orgy.

-What?
-Shh!

Shut up.

You can't be serious.

It's probably nothing.

Where you going?

Bowling.

You're in trouble because Mr. T
put paper in all the doors.

-Boobytrap.
-That's right.

We can help
seal you back in.

No, I wanna go.

What?

To the orgy.
Where is it?

Maddy, you jest.

No, I'm serious.
It sounds interesting.

Hold on.
I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

That's your job.
Which way?

You're ditching Maddy?
I thought you liked her.

I do, but we're
just friends.

-So are we.
-Yeah, but you invited me,

so I can't ditch you.

Hey.

You want something?

Uh...

Sugar?

Okay, who invited you?

Tony.

Tony, did you
invite them?

-Ow!
-Way to go.

Now it's a sausage fest.

Send them away.

Jessica: Sorry, boys.

Wait! You want Mr. Thompson
to find out?

Why, you gonna
narc on us?

No.

But this will.

What the hell is that?

Boobytrap.

Indeed.

But we have a solution.

What is it?

First...
may we come in?

-It's chilly out here.

You wearing a wire?

I'm kidding.
Come on, maybe you two
can double up or something.

Hurry up.

So, how did you know?

Oh, uh, heh,

Tony didn't actually
invite us,

but Morgan and I did
some sleuthing or whatever...

I mean,
about the boobytrap.

Oh...

-Mr. Thompson told me.
-Wings: Well, hot damn.

Got ourselves
a double agent.

I-- I wouldn't
go that far.

Betraying his trust?

I like it.

So how do we
get around it?

-It's the Feds!

It's just Maddy.

Who invited you?

-Does it matter?
-Wings: No.

We need more
hot chicks anyways.

Wings: A bird in the hand
is worth a few in the bush.

I like your pajamas.

Katie: Thanks!
I like yours, too.

You applied
to USC, right?

-Astronomy
and astrophysics.
-Nice!

Arts and architecture.

Maddy: Cool!

So, Morgan,
what should we do?

Huh? Oh.

I-I mean, it varies.

You know, every orgy's
different, you know?

I mean
about the boobytrap.

Oh... heh...

Uh, we just need
a sacrificial lamb
with political capital.

What the hell's that mean?

Yeah, is that like
a Bible quote or something?

Maddy: It means
you need a fall guy,

someone who puts paper
back in everyone's door,

except for theirs.

If they're on
the teacher's good side,

they'll get off
with a warning.

Sacrificial lamb
with political capital.

What she said.

So... who's our lamb?

I'll do it.
Mr. T likes me and Janice,

so we'll get off easy.

Okay, great.
Can we do something now, please?

My fire's dying here.

We could play
Truth or Dare.

What's so funny?

Uh, nothing.
Nothing. I'm sorry.

It sounds so great.

It's juvenile.

No, it's fun.
I used to play in middle school.

-Me, too.
-Wings: Fine, fine.

Whatever gets
Jessica's fire going.

Maddy, truth or dare?

Oh. Truth.

Lame. What base
have you gotten to?

Second.

Uh... can you be
a little more specific?

If you ask
specific questions.

Nice. Who's next?

All right, Jessica.
Truth or dare?

Dare.

Take your shirt off.

Jason.
Truth or dare?

Uh... dare?

Kiss one of the boys.

-What?
-Wings: Yeah.

Are you trying to
turn this into some kind
of woke party or something?

Shh! It's my turn.
I can do as I please.

Do it, Jason.
I dare you.

Well, wh-who?

Hmm...

Kirk.

What? No way.

You've hardly
done any dares.

Okay, how 'bout this.

If you two kiss...

then I'll kiss
one of the girls.

Deal. You two,
hurry up.

Mm.

-Maddy: Aww.
-Jessica: Aww.

Wow... so brave.

So brave.

All right,
restore balance to the Force.

Damn... girls
are pretty.

Duh. Who's next?

Maddy.
Truth or dare?

Dare.

I dare you
to kiss Morgan.

Uh, would you mind
picking something else?

W-What, are you a prude
or something?

No, I just don't kiss
unless it's serious.

-Prude.
-It's fine.

Just pick
something else.

Okay. How 'bout
you pick two people

to go make out
in that bathroom?

Don't even think about it.

Um, Wings and Yvette.

All right, come on.
That's us, babe.

Katie: Oh!
Get it, girl.

Aww, we don't
get to see? Uhh.

The Feds!

-What the hell, man?
-Code Blue.

Ow!

Hello?

Can you explain
the meaning of...

Oh. Oh, God. Uh...

I'm sorry.

Uh, I was just
making my rounds, and...

-Were you all asleep?
-Not all of us.

Ah. Yeah.

Uh, I'm sorry,
I just...

Did you ladies open the door
after curfew?

Did we?

Oh, yeah.

There was a cat.

A cat?

Yeah, it was meowing
really loud,

so we had to...
shoo it away.

It's so hard
to sleep here.

Yeah, my neighbor snores
like a Greek... god.

Oh, my God.

That sounds terrible.

Do you wanna come in?

Wh-What?

Maybe we can help
each other sleep somehow.

No! No...
Thank you.

I just remembered
that I have ear plugs,

s-so... thank you
for your cooperation,

and good night.

Good night.

Wait. Maddy.

Let me tell you what,
I should be the Lamb, not you.

Thanks, but, you know,

you haven't been
in trouble yet.

Plus, you do have a record.

Yeah.

I'm sorry that I was
a moron to you earlier.

I was...

I was just nervous,
you know, having you there,

but... it made it fun.

You know, before
I lock you guys in,

we can go bowling.

Bowling!

I can't.

Mr. T asked me to research
tourist traps for tomorrow.

Wow, he must be desperate.

He's teetering all right.

Good night, boys.

You're a queen among men!

All right, keep it moving!
Keep it moving.

This looks good.

Awesome! Breakfast.

We got hash browns?

Hi, Maddie, Morgan.

You got the stuff?

What?

You know, the merchandise?

Oh, yeah.

It's cool. She's on our side.

Well, what's the quality?
Good stuff?

Well, this ain't
my usual territory.

But it'll do.

I wrote you
some notes in there too
so you should be

flying easy.

Thank you.

Mr. Thompson:
Impressive.

As usual, it's been a pleasure
doing business with you.

Oh, Maddy, did you or Janice
leave your room last night
after curfew?

I went out for some ice. Why?

Oh... no reason.

You know winking is bad, right?

Enjoy your meal.

Okay, everybody.

If you exist, pay attention.

Janice?

While we're
waiting for the bus,

I have something very special
planned for us today.

But the competition
starts today.

The judged performance
is not until the afternoon,

so until then...

But meet-and-greet starts
in 20 minutes,

so we'll definitely
miss that.

Yes, but there's nothing
we can do about that now.

So let's try to have some fun!

Like how?

Oh, you'll see.

After breakfast,
we'll take some Ubers

to a super-secret
sightseeing destination.

What is it?

It's a secret.

Which should be very
interesting and educational.

Sounds lame.

Oh, I promise you
it is not lame.

The Pennyfeather House--

Or the Pennyfeather Farmhouse,

as it was sometimes
referred to--

was commissioned by famous
doily pioneer

Fanny Mae Pennyfeather

in 1896,

and designed later that year

by architect
Phineas T. Book III.

Now, because of a particularly
harsh winter,

construction was delayed
until the following year of...

1897.

Once the house was completed,

Mrs. Pennyfeather became
quite the talk of the town,

because of her wonderful
dinner parties,

orange grove soirees,

and her garden,
where she grew

onions, turnips, and...

figs.

Now, before I release you
on the neighborhood to
explore for yourselves,

does anyone have any questions
on the Pennyfeather House?

Uh, didn't Arthur Plowland--

"Plowland"--

uh, famous criminal,
once come to town?

Uh... Yes. Yes!

He was a very famous
cattle thief

who settled down here
to sell cattle of his own.

Ah...

Yeah.

Uh...

Wasn't there a particularly
harsh winter?

-No, you said that.
-Ma'am,

didn't people back then
shoot each other?

Uh, yup, I suppose they did.

Wasn't it also common
that the townsfolk

would just totally
slaughter each other?

Well,

this town outlawed firearms
pretty early on,

so there aren't any shootings
that we know about.

-What about pitchforks?
-Don't think so.

Okay, uh, anyone else
have any other questions?

-Is the bus fixed yet?
-About the house.

No?

Okay, well, how about
a round of applause

for the lovely... Stephanie.

Thank you, everyone.

If you have any further
questions, I will be...

you know, here.

All right.
Go, scram, explore!

Learn.

Mr. T, I was looking here,

and it seems like
we're gonna be missing
the music exchange next,

-and I thought maybe--
-Wayne. Wayne!

I'm expecting a call
from the bus any second,

so why don't you
go ahead and relax.

-Okay?
-Do you have reception?

Yes, I have perfect service.

No, actually it's not that good.

But I'm gonna go find some,
okay?

So why don't you go ahead
and scram, learn.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Maddy: Wow, he does
look desperate.

-Poor guy.
-Hey, what are these, shakes?

Snack shack.

If we don't make our judge
performance,

we'll have to forfeit.

Whatever. I just hope
we don't have to stay

in that dump
another night.

Why? You didn't like your kiss?

Well, if we are
stranded again,

all that's left for tomorrow
is the exhibition performance,

the awards,
and the goodbye dance.

After that,
the whole trip's a bust.

No fancy hotels,

no beaches.

It sucks.

And how many seats
does it have?

Okay, you have
anything smaller?

Okay, how much
for the big one?

Per day?

Hey, teacher's pet?

Why don't you go get, uh,

Mr. T and Ranger Chick
together?

Why?

Because it'll get us
unsupervised tonight.

Go get 'em together.

Dude, look at him,
he's freaking out!

Exactly,
it'll cheer him up.

Plus, gets him out of our hair.

What am I supposed to say?

Oh, you guys are so pathetic.

Oh, hi there.
Do you have a question?

Um, no, sorry.

Actually, I hope this isn't
too forward or anything,

but I was just curious
if you were single,

'cause Mr. Thompson is, so...

Oh,
that is forward.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Um, it's just that, you know,
he's such a great guy,

and he's been really sad since
he and his wife split,

so we've been trying
to cheer him up,

as he's had such a big impact
on all our lives.

Oh, wow. Really?

Yeah, he basically talked
a bunch of us out of suicide.

Aww.

You know, your girlfriend's
pretty cool.

We're just friends.

That's probably 'cause
you don't talk to her.

Hello?

Hello?

Shit.

Hey! No climbing on the walls!

Oh!

Oh, jeez. Sorry.
I'm just...

Man, man, I'm just kidding.
Don't worry about it.

I'm sorry, you look busy.
You busy?

-You're busy.
-No. No, me?

No, just working out some...

transportation issues.

Say, you don't have a cheap
way to get to the coast,

do you?

For all of you?

I don't know what to tell ya,
man, it's a really rural town.

There's not a lot of options.

Are you trying
to leave today,

or are you sticking
around tonight?

Uh, I hope not.

It really depends if this
stupid bus calls.

We're missing this big
international competition thing.

Oh, when is it?

Now.

Now. We're missing it now.

Oh, bummer.

Oh, man, I would take you
in my R.V.,

but it is tiny
and full of junk.

Is it like a history
competition?

No, band!

Yeah, I'm in a--

they're in a
jazz school band.

Oh, you're a band teacher.

Well, technically,
but it's just a temp gig

until my band kicks off.

You know, my adult band.

Rad. That is so awesome.

You are so awesome.

So, if your stupid bus
doesn't call,

we should, uh, go get
a drink or something.

A drink with you?

Uh, wow. All right.

Yeah, that would--
drinks would be rad.

-Totally.

Uh, I should ask you
for your number.

Oh, yeah, here,
let me type it in for you.

So you don't forget me.

Oh, yeah.
No, I won't. Never.

Well, good luck with
your stupid bus.

Thanks. Fingers crossed.

-Yeah.
-But not too crossed.

'Cause, uh, drinks.

-Drinks!
-Drinks!

Yeah.

-Yeah, thanks.
-Yeah.

So, how did you get so good
and hooking people up?

I don't know,
I just introduce people

and it usually works out.

So, who would you
introduce me to?

Who do you want?

I don't know.

So, uh, how did you
get into stargazing?

Well,

there was this guy.

Wait a minute.
Hold on, hold on.

I gotta hear this.

Okay.

-So, I was a Freshman,
-Mm-hmm.

and he was a Sophomore,

and, like, we never really
went to my place

because of my parents,

and his were always fighting.

So, we'd go wander around
downtown,

or go hang out
on the playground,

and we'd also lie there
looking up at the stars.

And that's when I would imagine
that we were married

and falling asleep
in our own house.

Anyways,
I-I've been looking up

ever-- ever since.

Hmm.

That's lovely.

You ever...

look up there and see a
bunch of mythical creatures

all united, fighting against
the forces of evil?

What are you talking about?

You know how you're
always asking about

me and Jason's
stupid handshake?

Mm-hmm.

Well, this is
what it's from.

Oh, okay. Okay. Hold on.

-Okay, let's go.
-Yeah.

-Okay, go.
-Okay.

So, when I was growing up,
there was this TV show

called The Intergalactic
Friendship Alliance.

Wait, wait, wait.
The cartoon show for kids?

Kids, nothing. No, this was
ice cold adult storytelling.

A long time ago, there
were all these mythic beings,

like dragons, unicorns,
pegasi, right?

-Mm-hmm.
-But they had to leave Earth

when mankind became
too warlike.

So they scattered all
throughout the universe

met all these aliens,

and formed the Intergalactic
Friendship Alliance.

That doesn't
sound very adult.

Well, the Alliance is always
sending out these invitations,

which are these, um,

pearlescent, glowing,
magical orbs

called friendship pearls--

Friendship pearls?

That they fling
across the universe,

hoping that they'll be found
by other beings

worthy enough
to join them.

-Okay.
-Okay,

legend has it that Earth

has already received
its friendship pearl,

but we haven't found it yet,
because we're still not worthy.

So, someday,

someone who's receptive
to its peaceful,

harmonious vibrations

will discover the pearl,

place their hand on it--

Whoosh!

Earth will finally
be able to join

the Intergalactic Friendship
Alliance,

redeeming all of mankind

and swearing to fight
for peace, justice,

and understanding
throughout the universe.

Wow, that is the geekiest thing
I've ever heard.

Yeah.

But I kind of like
how you tell it.

Anyway, our, uh,

our handshake is from
the theme song.

And Jason and I

used to search the entire
neighborhood

for the friendship pearl.

And the show's got
rainbow-throwing dragon ponies,

which is actually pretty dope.

I've never seen anything
like that in the stars,

but I'd like to.
Maybe one day.

Well,

if we're still
stuck here tonight,

maybe we could go "bowling"

for friendship pearls.

That sounds lovely.

There you guys are!

Come on, we're leaving.

Where?

-What about tomorrow?
-Doesn't look good, guys.

Bus is in bad shape.

I'm sorry.

They can't send
a replacement?

Everything's booked.

They said they'd call
if something opens up.

Would it help if we
used our phones

to research taxis

or other forms
of public transportation?

Thanks, but we can barely
afford to stay here.

Look guys, I'm sorry,

I've tried
everything.

The only thing we can
really do now

is just hang out.

Try to make the best
of it, okay?

We could call our parents
and ask them to donate money

for Ubers or taxis,

-then tomorrow we could--
-Wayne--Wayne!

We don't have time.

Look, I'm sorry,

I'm as bummed as you
guys are, okay?

But I've experienced a lot
of frustration in my life,

and I'm telling you,
it's all about how you react.

Janice, will you stop drumming
for one goddamn second?

You guys should practice
not giving a shit.

'Cause sometimes
life is shitty.

And sometimes the
only thing you can do

is pull on your big boy
pants and cope.

So we're here,
we exist here.

So deal with it.

It's like...
you're quitting on us.

I'm not quitting
on you, I--

Look, just hang out
here tonight.

When the bus is fixed,
we'll go home.

If anyone needs me,
I'll be in my room,

not quitting on you.

When's curfew?

Hey, Morgan.

Hey.

Pretty lousy night, huh?

Yeah.

I was really looking forward
to the music exchange,

the dance.

You dance?

Uh, like,

geeky dancing

to be funny.

Oh, cool.

So, uh, where is everyone?

You mean Wings?

No. I...

We got in a fight.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, we've never been
super official.

That's why he's always kind
of done whatever he wants.

But these last few days
on this trip,

he's just been acting
so much more

I don't know...

Douchey?

Yeah.

More than usual.

He's been trying to get
this second party going.

He wants it to be hot
or something.

I don't know.

It's just too much
right now.

Yeah.

Sometimes you just
wanna chill.

So, are you coming in,

or..?

I-I don't even have
my swimsuit.

That's okay.

Uh...

Underwear is basically
a swimsuit, right?

You did it!

-I did it!

You know, I can't picture
you dancing like a geek.

No?

No, you're always
acting so serious,

all the time.

Really?

Huh.

I guess I have funny ideas.
I just don't...

let them out.

You should!
Tell me a joke.

No, I-I can't do that.

Okay, uh,
show me your moves.

That's even worse!

Come on! Okay,
I'll do it with you.

-Really?
-Really.

Okay, uh...

-On three?
-On three.

-Okay.
-One...

-Two.
-Two.

-Three.
-Three.

See, you should let your
geek out more often.

Yeah, right.

You think so?

Definitely.

Hey, look, it's Maddy.

Is she... looking for you?

I don't know. Maybe.

You know, I always thought
Maddy was super serious too.

But she's actually
pretty cool.

You ever thought
about asking her out?

No, we're just friends.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, uh, I was thinking
about going stargazing.

You guys wanna come?

Ooh, stargazing!

You ever seen the show
Cosmos?

Yeah! It's amazing.

Um... anyway...

I was hoping to spot
a friendship pearl.

What's a friendship pearl?

It's a kind of meteor.
They're quite rare.

Oh, cool.

I think I'm just gonna hang
here tonight. Thanks, though.

Oh, no worries.
Morgan, do you wanna come?

Uh...

yeah, that sounds fun.

Yvette?!

What?

Come up here!
We're getting started!

No thanks, I'm just
gonna chill here.

Come on! I'm not gonna
have any fun without you.

Please?!

Man: Hey! Some of us
are trying to sleep!

Shut up, dude, nobody's
talking to you.

Man: You little punks
got no respect.

Come up here if you
want some respect!

Yvette, come on!
Seriously, get up here.

Well, I guess
I'll be seeing ya.

Unless you guys
wanna come with?

Maddie, you made it
so fun last time.

Thanks, but I'm okay.

Have fun though.

Okay, sounds good. See you.

I'll go.

Yeah?

Okay, see you up there.

I'm sorry, I-

Can we just go another time?

Okay.

It's-- It's not that
I don't want to,

It's just, like...

I just want to be around
more people right now.

You know?

You can--
You can come too.

That stuff's not for me.

You can go, though.
I'll be fine.

It's not like
I don't like you.

I know.

I just...

I don't want to miss out.

But you'll have
other opportunities.

Yeah, but not right now.

Well...

you better get going then.

Hey!

What's up, teacher's pet?

Where's your girlfriend?

No, no, no, no.
We're already uneven.

It's okay, I invited him.

I say what's okay.

Now, vamoose.

Oh, there she is.

All right, come on.

What are you doing?

You're not ready
for this stuff.

Neither are you.

So, what did we miss?

Not much.

As you can see.

You guys wanna play
truth or dare again?

-That was fun.
-No.

Enough kid stuff.

Tonight is the real deal.

So how about it, prude?

You in a kissing
mood tonight?

Guess we'll see.

Well, guess again.

If you don't kiss,
you don't stay.

So, who's it gonna be?

Close enough.
All right, who else?

Actually, you two save
that for later

so I don't have to see it.

Wings, this is dumb.

Y'all are making it dumb.

Why am I the only one
coming up with stuff?

Somebody do something.

Touché.

Why is everybody
just sitting there?

Either do something
or get out.

Hey, Yvette,

Maddie looks
a little nervous.

Maybe help her out.

I don't think
she wants to.

Fine.

Let her sit there and stare
like a weirdo.

Leave her alone.

Bunch of downers, man.

Y'all do what you want.

Come on.

By the way,

she likes it when
you touch her neck.

I think I messed up.

She'll be okay.

Just give her time.

It'll be all right.

I don't know.

It will be.

Eventually.

You'll see.

Wings:
What's up, love nerds?

Y'all taking a breather?

Us too.

All right, well we're
gonna go get some drinks,

but, uh,
we'll smell you later.

-Oh.

Sorry.

Don't be.
Always so serious.

Hey! What's up,
love nerds?

Oh. Oh, no.

I didn't...

May I come in?

Hey, good job,
teacher's pet.

Good job.

Come on, man.

I'm not gonna hit you.

I'm happy for you.

She's pretty good, right?

All right, well,
if you'll excuse me...

I think I've had
a little too much...

-to drink!

Whoo!

I won't tell anyone.

Wings: Hey! Did you guys
have fun tonight?

You look really cute.

Morgan, I believe it. Ha!

I think I should go.

Definitely.

Wings: Hey...

Wings: I'll be through.

Wings: Can somebody
come hold my hair?

Hey, there he is.

What's up, man?
Where you been?

I'm just kidding.
I know where you've been.

So... how was it?
Tell me everything.

You know, I'd rather not.

Seriously?

Okay, fine, I don't really
need the details right now,

but just the facts.

Okay, blink once for yes,
twice for no.

-Man...
-Yes or no?

-Are you a man now?
-No!

Okay. I gotcha,
I gotcha.

But on the downlow,
are you?

I said I don't want
to talk about it, all right?!

Okay, sorry.

It's just kind of just been
a big deal for you lately.

What?

What has?

You're a virgin, man.

Yeah, so are you!

Yeah.
But I told you that.

You never
tell me anything.

You know what, Jason?
Why don't you just grow up!

You know what?
Fine.

You don't need to tell me
anything anymore.

It's written all over
your shitty attitude.

Wayne:
They totally did it.

-Hey, Mr. T.
-Oh! Jesus.

Maddy!

You scared me.

I'm sorry.

What's wrong?

How can you tell if...

what you want
is the right thing?

Hmm...

That's tricky.

You know...

I have a son.

And... I try to teach
my boy that...

whatever he's feeling
is okay.

'Cause a feeling can't be wrong
till it becomes an action.

Guess that doesn't help you
know if it's right or wrong.

Maybe if something feels right
and it doesn't hurt anyone?

That's what we go for.

Just... keep trying

and see how far
that right feeling takes us.

Then... I think I'm wrong.

Richard: Hello?

Hey. Yes, it's Daddy.

How are you?
How's my boy?

You havin' fun with Mommy?

Boy: Yeah.

Yeah? What have you
been doing?

Games.

The sprinkler.

We made sandwiches.

You made sandwiches?

What kind of sandwiches?

Peanut butter and jelly.

Ooh, that's my favorite.

Maybe you can make me one
when I come see you.

I miss you.
You miss me?

Yeah.

I miss you, Daddy.

Yeah.

Me too, buddy.

But I'll come see you
when I get back.

Pinky swear.

Woman: Okay, baby.
It's time to go to bed.

Your dad needs
to bug out.

I look forward
to that sandwich.

Okay?

Okay.

Woman: Say good night
to Daddy.

Boy: Good night, Daddy.

Good night, son.

Love you.

Love you.

Hey, idiot,
what are you doing?

Come on, we're leaving.

Man, I don't wanna go home.

Not home, dude,
to the competition-- let's go!

But we missed
the competition.

Yeah, but if we hurry,
we can still make

the good-bye dance.
Come on.

Richard: Take only what you
need for the dance.

Toss everything else out

and combine everything into
as few suitcases as possible.

Let's go!
Let's go, go, go, go, go, go!

Don't throw away
your instruments!

Morgan, where's your stuff?

I-It's, uh...

Well, go get it!
You're gonna be late
for the ball!

Come on, Cinderella!
Spit-spot!

Okay, is that
everything?

Students: Yeah. Yeah.

Let's kick some ass.

Richard: Yeah!
Hey, bro!

-Whoo!

Jason: Hey, doesn't--
doesn't this thing
go any faster?

This is the vehicle's
top speed!

-Holy shit!

Now we're never
gonna ever get there!

Do we exist?!

Students: Yes!

What do we do when
existence is shit?!

Students: Deal with it!

-Yeah!

-Jessica: Jason!

Jason, again?

Ah, shit.

Yvette: We're here.

Richard: No time, no time!
Everybody get inside
and change, hurry!

Jessica: Come on,
let's go.

Come on, come on,
come on, let's go!

Hey.
Do you have self-parking?

Katie: It's so beautiful.

Jason: Where do we go?

Jessica: There's reception.

No time to check in!
To the dance!

-To the dance.
-Jessica: The dance
is in Ballroom 4.

-I can hear the music.
-Katie: It started already.

Oh. Bathrooms!
Bathrooms!

-Katie: Move, move, move.
-Wings: Hurry up.

Jason: Come on,
come on.

Could I borrow
some of that?

Thanks.

Hey, Kirk,
you got my Spanx?

Kirk: Uh, looking.

Jason: Hey, Katie, whose
is bigger, mine or Tony's?

-Thank you.
-How 'bout from the side?

Come on, come on.
Suitcases.

-Suitcases. Suitcases.
-Badges, badges, badges!

-Suitcases! Looking good.
-Badges, badges, badges!

-There you go.
-I love your dress!
Suitcases.

-Your shoe's untied!
-There you go.

Yeah.

Boy: Ohh. Yeah!

Morgan. What the hell
are you doing, man?

Get your threads on.
Come on, let's go boogie, heh.

I threw my clothes out.

Okay, well, at least you'll
look as good as you dance.

Let's at least fix
that bedhead.

I'm not goin' in there.

I just came
to catch the bus.

Dude, I don't care
what you look like,

but you're gonna
dance with me.

What about Maddy?

You realize you two are perfect
for each other, right?

Okay, fine.

Go be sad.

I'll grow up tomorrow.

Oh, oh, Jason!
Badges.

Oh.

Are you the band
that didn't show up

for any of your
performances?

That's us.

Everyone's calling you
The Forfeiteers.

'Cause you... forfeit.

"Forfeiteers."

You know, I like that.

Is it true you came here
in a Winnebago?

Is it true that all Australians
ride to school on kangaroos?

Is it true that all Americans
wear body armor to school?

Yeah, but... it only
stops small arms fire.

Thought not.

Yeah, but I just got you
to touch my pec.

Um... g'day me
a minute?

Good evening, Madam Maddy.

Get your back
up off the wall?

Look...

Morgan, he's just going through
some stuff right now.

I'm sure if you went
and talked to him--

I'm done
trying to help him.

If he wants something,
he can say so.

Wings: It looks
really good on you.

Oh, thanks.

Wings: Hey, teacher's pet!
What's up, man?

Hey, what's wrong?

Somethin' botherin' you?

Is it girl trouble?

Which one is it?
Is it... prude?

Or Yvette?
Because I'm confused.

Hey!

Don't worry.
I'm not mad.

I know Yvette
didn't leave me for you.

In fact, I'm feelin'
so generous,

I'll even help you
get with her.

I don't need your help.

Hey, the only reason
that you

even have a chance now
is because of me.

'Cause you're
an asshole.

Be careful.

There's a lady.

All right? I can tell
that you're a little grumpy...

so let's just
pick this up later.

Oh, and, uh, if Mr. T
comes looking for us,

make up an excuse,
would you?

Make your own.

I'm sorry.

I thought
I heard a squeak.

I'm not
the teacher's pet.

And I'm not yours.

Neither is Yvette.

What's with you, man?

It's not enough that you
have to steal Yvette,

but you're gonna embarrass me
in front of this one, too?

No. That's all you.

Jessica: Wings, it's fine.
Let's just go.

No, I'll decide
when it's fine.

Yeah! You decide.

You decide for everybody,
don't you?

But not me.

And not my friends.

So why don't you just
leave us alone?

Make me.

Morgan, stop! Stop!

Stop it!
You guys...

-Girl: Oh, yeah! Part-ay!

Jason!

Morgan's in trouble!

Jason: Morgan!

What the hell
are you doing?

I'm sick of it, man.
I'm sick of his shit.

Yeah, totally,
but you're about to get
a whole lot more of it.

Do you even know
how to fight?

Nope.
Got any pointers?

Uh, stick your head
in the sand?

Jessica: You don't
have to do this.
Let's go inside.

Dude, please
don't do this.

No, man.
I'm done being a bitch.

Take your shot,
teacher's--

Uhh!

Not bad.

Uhh!

Oof!

Hey, man,
get off of him!

Uhh!

-Morgan!
-Richard: Stop!

Hey, what's up, Mr. T?

You are!
Your time, it's up!

One more misstep,
and I file a police report.

I shit you not.
Get inside.

You're the boss.

-Richard: Whoa!
-Wings: Nice hit.

You did better than
I thought you would.

Get out of here.

-Oh!
-Oh, uh--

Okay, okay.

Okay.

Go in. Go inside.

Jessica: Mm-hmm.

Hey.

Hey, man, are you okay?

I'm fine.

Okay.

I am, too, just in case
you were wondering.

Listen, I know you're literally
in a lot of pain right now,

but if this whole thing
is somehow about Maddy,

I'm sure you can still
patch things up

if you just go
and talk with her.

I'm sick of everybody
telling me what to do.

So, please,
leave me alone.

Richard: Hey, buddy.

How's your night going?

Uh-huh.
Let's get you some ice.

Am I in trouble?

What?

We both fought.

Why is he in trouble...

and not me?

Do you wanna be
in trouble?

Dance is dying down, but...
there's still a few people,

if you wanna...

Do you see
any friendship pearls?

No.

I don't even know
how to apologize.

To you.

To Jason.

You were just trying
to look out for me.

And I messed us all up.

I'm so sorry.

Well...

that's a start.

I'm sorry.

You know I don't
unless it's serious.

And you're really not
ready for that, either.

Just in case you feel like
shaking it off.

Richard: You want
my advice?

Don't take my advice.

Actually, I thought
your advice was pretty good.

Thanks.

What was it?

Uh, something about
not quitting.

Hmm.

I hope you decide
to stay a teacher, Mr. T.

You're a good one.

Whoo!

Girl: This is nice!

Yeah!

All : Morgan!
Morgan! Morgan! Morgan!

Morgan! Morgan!
Morgan! Morgan!

Morgan! Morgan! Morgan!
Morgan!

Morgan! Morgan! Morgan...

Jason: I'm gonna miss you
so much, I swear to God.

I think I'm falling
in love with you.

-I already know.
-That was the most...

All right,
you tender lumplings.

-Please watch him.
-No, come on, Mr. T.

-Goodbye, my love!
-Goodbye!

Hey, Maddy.

Wayne: Hey, Mr. T,
you ready to quit yet?

Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?

Woman: Where's
your suitcase?

Mr. T told us
to throw it away.

It was just a suggestion!

What happened to your eye?

I love you, Mom.

I love you,
too.

Where's your suitcase?

-Hey.
-Hey.

Sorry they're not milkshakes.

He seems nice.

He is.

Just not a great kisser.

Practice makes perfect.

Yep.

You two going to prom?

Yeah.
And you're going with...

Jason.

We got matching suits.

Of course you did.

Last time we were
at a jacuzzi together,

you tried to help me.

I'm working on it.

But I still
mess up sometimes.

Maybe the lesson is

sometimes we mess up.

But not you, right?

No, not me.
I'm the only exception.

But I could've sworn
I heard you, uh--

-You made me mess up.

Whatever. That was probably
your first mistake ever.

No. I've messed up.

I've messed up.

I'm sorry I tried
to stop you that time.

That was a jerk move.

Don't be sorry.

You were just being
my friend.

I miss that.

Maybe we could...
try again?

Friends with you?

I don't know.

I was hoping for a nice
and peaceful summer.

How about a trial run
until August?

July.

'Cause I'm moving
in August, so...

Oh, yeah, USC.
I heard. Congrats.

Thanks.

You too.

Maybe since you're
in Arizona, and it's close,

I'll let you visit
some time.

Guess we'll see.

Nice night to go bowling.

Yeah.

Too bad I threw away
my telescope, though.

I have one.
Here.

Oh.

One of those
invisible ones.

It has really good optics.

Let's see.

Yeah, it's pretty nice.

Oh! I think I see a few
mythical beings up there.

Are they waving at us?

Yeah, they are.

That's 'cause I accepted
their friendship pearl.

-Wait, really?
-Yeah.

-Huh.
-Redeemed
the whole planet.

It was just lying there
on the beach.

Maddy: Huh.
What are the odds?

Morgan:
What are the odds?

Captioned by
Post Haste Digital