The Big Ask (2013) - full transcript

[COUNTRY SONG PLAYING]

RICH: Hey.

ANDREW: Hey.
[CHUCKLES]

You find me okay?Yeah, sure did.

Good, good.

Normally, I have to come
looking. [LAUGHS]

Are you Rich?

I am.Okay.

[CHUCKLES]
Hi, I'm Andrew.

Good to have you.Pleasure.

Pleasure to be here.
That's Hannah.



Hi.Hi.

Pleasure to have you.
How are you?Thank you.

[KISSES]All right.

Come on in.

Okay, well,
you know...

Kitchen.

Over here, we got the, uh,
dining room, you know, uh...

Living room,
games room, uh, bedroom.

Bathroom over there
and, uh...

Oh, uh, the practice room,
back over there.

You guys
bring instruments?

No. Oh, no.

Okay, well, we got
some tambourines,stuff like that.

I only mentioned it
because, uh,



there's a crystal deposit
that just runsright under the house.

You know, and it's just...
[IMITATES DRILLING SOUND]

Really good
for making sounds,you know what I mean?

Yes.Yeah. I knew you did.
I knew you did.

Okay, well, um...

Let me see.
Hot tub, back here.Let me show you.

Okay.
So you take this,

and then you just,
you put it in here

and, uh, you know.

I mean,
that's pretty much it.

Well, uh,
you might need a lead timebecause it takes a while.

Uh... [PUFFS]
What else, what else?

Oh, oh! The wind.

It's going to come
whipping through herelike a panther in the night.

Okay, so make sure
that those trash binsare locked down. Got it?

Okay.Will do.

All right. Bye.

Have fun.

[HONKING]

[WOMAN GROANS]DAVE: Coming in hot.

Jesus!

[GROANS] Hey![EXCLAIMS] Whoo!

That doesn't look
like my old friend.

That does.
That looks like...

Hi!Hi!

I told you
as soon as you got here...

You look so pretty.Thank you, so do you.

[KISSES]

Hello.Hi.

Hey, man.What up, Captain?

OWEN: Are we
making meth or what?

ANDREW: Yeah,
that's exactly whyI chose this place.

Hi.Hey, how you doing?

[GUITAR STRUMMING] ♪ Andrew I'm having a problem

♪ You could help me with

♪ I haven't been
drinking enough

♪ Water in the desert
you've been warned

♪ Ow, ow, ow!

♪ He's pissing rocks
He's pissing rocks

♪ He's pissing rocks
he's pissing

♪ He's pissing rocks
He's pissing rocks He's pissing rocks

[YODELING]

♪ Drain it
Oh-Oh-Oh

♪ Ya-ha-ha-ho

♪ Ow, ow, ow

♪ Oh ♪

DAVE: Oh, it feels
good to be out here.

ANDREW: Right?

DAVE: You know,
I just love this house.

ANDREW: Me, too.

[METAL CLANKS]EMILY AND ZOE: No.

DAVE: It's graceful though.

[METAL CLANKS]BOTH: Oh!

[CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

DAVE: There's not
enough points.We got a point.

EMILY: He seems good.

He seems better.

HANNAH: Does he?EMILY: Yeah.

HANNAH: He was doing
so well and thensuddenly, he just...

[MIMICS AIR ESCAPING]

Check this out.

[ALL LAUGHING]

HANNAH: Do you know what
I was thinking about?

Today, for some reason,

that time that we tried
to rent a trailer.

Oh!Oh, my God!

We, uh, we...Well...

We attempted to, um,
rent a trailer and goon a road trip to Alaska.

With the stripping vegan!Dude, shut the fuck up.

What?What?

All right. I may
have been involved

at the time
with a vegan dancer.

Oh. Wow!OWEN: Dancer.

Dancer. Sorry.Yeah.

[WHISPERS] Dancer.She was nice.

Her clothes just
kept on falling off.

It was
the strangest thing.

Not in front of us.

Anyway, enough about
the stripping vegan.

I apologize, I apologize.

I would like
to make a toast.

Uh, first of all,
happy birthday, Andrew.

Oh, I'm not done!
And to

a vacation.

Or for those
of us who, um,

just work from home,
Andrew and Dave,

uh, to life.

Aw. To having
a great week.

To not dying of cancer.

[CHUCKLES]

Wow.

I...Hmm?

I have mouth diarrhea.
I'm sorry.

To no one else
dying of cancer.Hear, hear.

OWEN: Ah, there you go.There you go.

Cheers.[WHEEZES]

DAVE: This pasta
is delicious.Thank you.

ZOE: Thank you so much.All right.

OWEN: And the salad
is also delicious.

[CHUCKLES]
Don't stress about it.

So, um...

Thank you all so much

for being so great about...

Everything.
You know, with the...With the service,

and with the, uh,
helping with the food.

Hey, we are here for you.
We love you, man.Hmm.

Yeah, we love you so much.Yeah.

I'm, uh...

Still trying to
deal with the factthat my mom is

gone, and that's...

I never really ever
got to make peace with...

Anything.

And I know that it was
a trek to come out here.

And I know that, you know,
it was last minute.

But, uh...

[SIGHS]

There is a reason
I asked you all to come.

And, uh...

I have decided

that

what I really
want is, uh...

To have sex
with everyone here.

[LAUGHS] Oh, man.[LAUGHS]

[ALL LAUGHING]

OWEN: Oh, God.

DAVE: Oh, my God, dude.[ZOE LAUGHS]

That's what
I really want.

You want what?

Like all of us, or...

Just the boys?[CHUCKLES]

No, just...
Just the women.

Actually, um...

I would love to have
sex with all of you.

At the same time.[ZOE SCOFFS]

Is this a joke?

I'm sorry. I feel like
this is a joke on meor something.

What, Hannah?

ANDREW: No.

It's not a joke.

Mammals.

Mammals,
you know, they need

each other.

Mammals?

Love is so powerful.

And I need it.

I need it.
I need like...

A steroid
injection of it.

To heal.

Holy fuck!

I don't mean
to put anyone inan awkward place.

I really, really don't.
I, uh...

No one has
to decide tonight.

We have
a whole week here.

ANDREW: So...Oh, good.

We have a week
to make this decision.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's... ♪Don't, don't, don't.

So, is this something
that you're considering?

[SIGHS] My feeling
has been that if Iignore it long enough,

it will go away.

That's kind of
my basic strategy.

Okay.

Um...

Few questions.[CHUCKLES]

What does his therapist
have to say about all this?

Oh, did I not tell you?
He stopped going.

The dude like,
really needs tobe in therapy.

You should... You should
try to tell him that,

'cause he doesn't
want to hear it.

Okay. Wow!

We got some work
to do, huh?

You realize
that what...

What position
this puts us all in.

It's not,
it's really not cool, man.Uh...

I totally understand that
and I also...

I also don't care.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, that's good.I get it.

What?

No, I get it.
I mean, think about it,you know...

The worst thing in
the world happens to you

and you want to turn it
into something positive.

I mean,
his mom died offucking horrible cancer.

And now he wants to
use that opportunity to

sleep with his
friends' girlfriends.

Your girlfriend, man.
He's talkingabout your girlfriend.

I get that.

And you're just
cool with that?

Absolutely not.

All right, are we going
to play pool or what?

Yeah, I think we should
have a game of cut-throat.

Okay.[BALLS CLICK]

You know,
you guys just play,I'm gonna play winner.

Rack 'em, bitch.

Hey.

Hey.

What?

I just feel so
embarrassed, you know?

Why are you embarrassed?
You shouldn't be embarrassed.

It's like... [HUFFS]

Just...

The fact that he

dragged all you guys
into it and...

[SIGHS]If you want
to just leave...

No, no, no.I get it and...

No.

We're here for
you, too. You know?Thank you.

Friend. Thanks.Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Thanks.

I scratched out.

[SIGHS] All right.[HANNAH CHUCKLES]

I'm going to bed.Good night.

[BALLS CLICKING]

I mean, I'd be
pretty pissed off, too,

if the roles were reversed.

Yeah? And what
would you sayin that situation?

[STUTTERS] Uh,
I would say, "Andrew,

"why don't you try
to put yourselfin Owen's shoes,

"who is on the very edge
of a nervous breakdown."

Dude, we're all
on the very edgeof a nervous breakdown.

It's called life!

You know what I think?

I think that you're
just trying to get sex.

And you think
that if you actfucked up enough,

then no one will have
the balls to call you outon what you're doing.

I don't want you
to punch me in the face,

'cause that's
my moneymaker.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, boy.

Oh, God, Zoe.[KISSES]

Oh.

I'm so glad
you agreed to do this.

[GASPING AND KISSING]

Oh, my God.

You're so beautiful.

[MOANS] Hmm.

Oh, my God.

You're really helping me
with my healing process.

[GIGGLES] Ew![MOANS]

You taste so good.Stop.

It'll be over
in a second.

[MOANS AND KISSES]
Oh, God!

[GRUNTS]

[CHUCKLES]

I don't like it here.

[SIGHS]

I don't suppose
you have an answer for meabout that other thing?

I really want to go.Like leave?

Yes. This is
extremely uncomfortable.

No, he's not serious.
He's not.

He gets these ideas
in his head, you justhave to ignore him.

I think he's
really serious.

He's like a brother to me.
I can't just walk out on him.

He wants me to
have sex with him!

No, he doesn't.
I mean, yes, he does.

Of course,
who wouldn't? But...

[GROANS]No, he's not serious.

You really
want to leave?

Yeah.

Okay,
I'll talk to Owen.

This will take me
like 20 seconds, okay?

He's just a fucking dick.You know.

His mom just died.

Well, so, you know,
if I lose a leg in Iraq,

then do I just suddenly
have permission to

come all over
your mom's face?

[LAUGHS] What?

Well, I'm just saying.
It's not... You don'tget a free thing.

[LAUGHS] Right.
I just think

that he's really sick.

He's a sick man,
he's in a lot of pain.I just...

I feel bad for him.

Don't you want
to sleep with him?No!

No. I just...[CHUCKLES]

I just want to help him.

What?

I just want to help him.

This is not happening.

[STUTTERS]
You want to help him?

[SIGHS]

Have you ever taken
a shower with him?

You know, I need this
conversation to be over...

I need to know
if you have everseen his dick.

You're asking me
if he has a nice dick?

No, I'm not asking you
If he has a nice dick,

I want to know
how big it is.

Oh, my God!

I'm not asking you
because I care.

I'm asking you
'cause I want to knowif it's going to hurt me.

I have no idea, okay?

Well, but...[STAMMERS] I've, I've...

I've never seen him
with an erection, okay?

So I don't know
how big his hard dick is.

Uh, like some
guys are growers,some guys are not.

And I don't know
which he is,

and I don't want
to talk about it and I...

My friend Andrew's penis
that you're talking about,

if it's going to hurt you?[SHUSHES]

Why are we even
talking about this?

[WHISPERS] I'm sorry.[SIGHS]

I'm sorry.
I was just curious.

[CLEARS THROAT]

That was a 24-hour
joke, right?

OWEN: Wait, we're not still
talking about that, are we?

DAVE: I'm not
talking about it.

ZOE: Actually, you are.

DAVE: No, I'm talking
about not talking about it.

It's over and...

Yeah.

Can I say something?

Sure, Andrew.Hmm.

Okay. So...

One hundred years ago,

in this very same desert...

Holy fucking
mother shank!Shut your filthy mouth crater.

Right now.What?

He was going to try
to convince youto sleep with him

by reciting some sort of
symbolic desert tale.

I bet you fucking spent
all week memorizing.

I bet you googled it
like 1000 times.

"Desert redemption orgy
Joshua tree."

"Native American
California sandy cock rub."

Plus, how to convince women.Hmm.

[IMITATES BEEPING SOUND]

Guys, he was not.

That actually
was my plan.

OWEN: Unbelievable.

WAITRESS: Can I
get you anything else?

No, I think
we're done here.

Really?

So you're telling me that

you couldn't do this
for like the next30 or 40, or 50 years?

[CHUCKLES]

No.

Oh, come on.
This is like,this has got to be like

the greatest vacation
you've ever taken, right?

It's like, um, maybe
the second best vacationyou've ever taken.

Mmm.

I, uh...[CHUCKLES]

Have to think about that.

ZOE: I mean,
it's up there.

Hey, guys.

Would you mind
if I joined you?

Sure, buddy.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[EXCLAIMS] Ooh!

[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Ooh!

This is nice.

Zoe, I know
we're not super close,

but I just wanted
to thank you

for understanding
last night, and notlaughing in my face.

Okay.

Are you on drugs?

Not right now.

Yeah, but are you taking
a bunch of drugs?

No.

'Cause, man,
I love you, but you'reacting like a freak.

I know.

So, please stop.

I don't think
I'm going to.

ANDREW: That one.OWEN: That's too far.

Exactly.

That's the one.

[SHOUTS] Oh, yeah!

Oh, you hit the rock?

I'm sorry,
I didn't see it.

Me either.

You guys are kidding me?

Right?

Look, I'm, I'm sure
that you hit the rock.

I'm just saying
that personally,I did not see it.

That is also
what I am saying.

[ROCK THUDS]

Suck it, bitches.

Oh, did you hit
the rock again?

I... I wasn't
paying attention.

I, yeah, I hit it again
twice in a row.

I was looking right at it.
I didn't see it,but maybe I heard it.

I feel like I heard it.

Funny joke, guys.
This is cool.

ANDREW: Oh,
you know what it was?

I stepped on a twig.DAVE: Oh.

And it sounded similar.Let's, let's hear it.

[SNAPS]

ANDREW: It's identical.That's definitely
what I heard.

DAVE: Listen,
can we go catch upwith the ladies and stop?

Yeah.OWEN: Mmm-hmm.

You just have to admit
that I hit the rock.

Look, Owen,
I'm totally sure thatyou totally hit that rock.

Okay, now say it
like you mean it.

Can we just
catch up withour beautiful ladies

instead of sitting here
having an argument about...

ANDREW: Oh, don't.Dude.

You just hit me
with that rock.

Admit it.

Don't do it.Admit it. Or what?

Or I'm going to throw
this rock at you.

Couldn't hit me
if you tried.You don't think?

[GRUNTS]

Dude, those are too big.

There are no rules
in a rock fight.

Argh!

What are you doing, dude?

Maneuvering.

[PANTS]

OWEN: Andrew,
that is too big, dude.Here it comes.

Dude, that is too big!

[YELLS][GROANS]

Ow! Ow![PANTS]

We were messing around.You threw a rock at him.

It was just a game.Yeah, he did it on purpose.

[GASPS]Dude, I did not...

You did do it on purpose.[SCOFFS] Okay.

Whatever.

You're an asshole.You should...

You know what?

Mmm. Ooh!
[CHUCKLES]

Ow.

Too much, too much.

I'm okay.

Can you do me a favor?

Yes.

And then just...

[ALL CHEERING]

OWEN: The first
time I saw him,

the sun glinting off
his flaxen-haired bodice

in the waves, I knew.What?

Simon hated everything
about his grandfather,

but most especially,
he hated his shinylittle rat-eyes.

Mmm.OWEN: Okay.

I grew up in three
distinctly different

and yet eerily
similar religions.

Here you go.

Hey, you want
to come to bed?

Not right now.

Are you sure?Yeah.

Maybe you should
come to bed soonand we'll have time to talk.

About what?

I'm not feeling good.Then take an Advil.

No, like...

I'm having fun!

[GRUNTS]

Say something, bitch.

Say something, bitch!

[GRUNTS]

Yeah.

Dave wants
to leave tomorrow.

No.

I don't want to
leave Andrew alone.

I feel like
I owe him one.

Are you serious
right now?

Yes.

He brought you fucking soup
when you hurt your back.

That hardly entitles him
to slip it in you.

He came over
every single day.

I had a fucking job!

You know what? Forget it.[SIGHS]

You know what?
He's not dying.

He doesn't have cancer.

It's one step removed.

It was his mom.

You are your mom.

What?You are your mom.

It's like having
cancer yourself.

You realize that
if you do this,

I will never,
ever forgive you.

It's not something that
you can come back from.

You know that his dad left
when he was like, 10.

He just left. No note.

And his mom...
You met his mom.Hmm.

So you're saying
I should fuckhis brains out?

No.

No!

You don't
seem that anxious.

How do you mean?

I don't know.

Shouldn't you be
more anxious, waiting for meto answer your question?

Shouldn't you answer
my question already?

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Toosh.It's touche.

It doesn't rhyme
with douche.

[CHUCKLES]
I know it's touche.

It's an abbreviation.

An abbriev.

Hey.

I think you need help.

I think there's something
wrong with you.

I think you
don't know how todeal with all this pain

and it's making
you go crazy.

I understand.

[SIGHS]

That's not a response.

I understand
what you're saying

and I will really
think about it.

You need to go
back to therapy.

I don't need therapy.
I know what I need.

To fuck all my friends?

I need love.

I need a great
wave of love.

And yes,
I need it to be

gigantic and astounding,

and, and unreal.

What if we all do
this thing for you

and it doesn't
change anything?

Then at least I tried.

[THUDS]

[WHISPERS] What was that?

Probably like a...

...desert mouse.

What?

Like a rodent.

Maybe you should
go see what it is.

[SCOFFS]

I'll go see what it is.

Hello. Hello.

Hello!

We don't want
your kind here.

Holy shit!

Hi, who are you?

Hello, are you friendly?

You're friendly...
Oh, you're really friendly.

Hi.

Hi, there.

Hi, there.

Were you here to sell
me some crystal meth,or something?

Look at you!

Man, you stink.

You stink.
Are you nice?

What's your name?

No tag.

I'm gonna name you...
I'm gonna name you Grously.

Yeah. Grously.

Man, you are an ugly
piece of shit, Grously.

Andrew.

Hey.What are you doing?

Just...
Just talkingto this dog.

Can you come
back inside?

In a second.

Hi.

[BELL DINGING]

Did you hear that?Yeah.

Just some kind
of desert...

Bell?

There it is.
There it is again.

I didn't want
to disturb you.

No.

What can we do you for?

[LAUGHS]

Do me for?

Oh, listen to you.

Well...

Have you boys seen
a dog around here?

Uh, no.
What kinda dog?

Just the regular kind.

No.[BOTH SHRUG]

Hmm.

You mind if I sit down?

Yeah, course.

Phew.

Here, have a seat.

Yeah, I...

The dog has been missing
for about three days and

I kind of thought
he's dead.

But I figured
I should takea look around anyway.

That's where I live.

That's my property.

All that,
right onto that ridge.

Wow![MAN LAUGHING]

You all come
over some time.

I... I used to
have taco Tuesdays.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

That was big.

You know, I've seen
some jackrabbitsjumping around out there.

Oh, yeah.

Jackrabbits, mmm-hmm.

Do you... Do you hunt
'em or do you...

Oh, jackrabbits. No.

I don't allow anyone

to shoot any
of the critterson my property.

Oh.

You understand?Yeah.

They're like
children to me.

I mean, just the
other day, finally,

I got a packrat

to nearly eat right
out of my hand.

But you gotta be careful

because if they spot
something shiny like,uh-huh...

See that there.

They'll just snatch it

and carry it right off.

The rats?Yeah.

Yeah, I...

[LAUGHS]

That's how I got this.

I was almost
married once.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Okay.

Uh...

I better be going.

Don't you boys do anything
that I wouldn't do.

Wow.

You see the way
he put that?

Oh.

That's not all.Yeah.

DAVE: He's playing harmonica.OWEN: Amazing

DAVE: Just walking
away playing harmonica.OWEN: Amazing.

I saw his dog.

What?I saw his dog.

What?

Did you think you should
have told him that?

I don't know,
I just saw it outside.

Don't you think
he could have usedthat piece of information

to put together
some kinda timeline?

Yeah, he's definitely putting
together a dog timeline.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[LAUGHING]

Mmm.Hi.

We're still here.

Yeah, I noticed.

But I'm gonna
fix it, okay?

Okay.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Right there. Right there.

Give me the growl.

[GROWLING]

I'm okay if we stay.

Okay.

This is a new regime,
it's gonna makeyou feel better.

I think it's...
[STRAINING]

I think I'm gonna
throw up, right now.

It hurt me.I'm sorry.

Oh, yes.

Painful things.
Painful things.

Um...

I told Andrew that
he needs to go backto therapy.

And what did he say?

He said he needs
to fuck my friends.

Hmm. Wise man.

Do you remember Jason?

Motorcycle Jason
or cousin Jason?

Cousin Jason.

Do you remember that
place he went to, I feltlike it really helped him.

Andrew isn't cra...
He's not crazy, Emily.

He's like going through...

He's not like cousin Jason.

No, I know, but I just
feel like it might help.

No. Um...

I'm going to
deal with this.

It's my job.

Okay.

It's gonna be good,
it's gonna be fun.

You have the edibles?Of course, man,
I always have the edibles.

Oh, God. Hello.

BOTH: Hey.Hi.

Was looking for you.Oh.

Did you just exercise,
young lady?

Yes, I did. Kind of.

Uh, listen, me and the boys,
I think we're gonna set outfor a little adventure.

Today I think we're
gonna go bowling.

Okay.

It's gonna be good.

Is it...

Is that really
what you're doing?

Yeah.Okay.

Have fun.Okay.

Our little boys day.

Have a good cool down.

Enjoy the break
from us crazies.

All right.

This is the
worst idea ever.

Or the best.

ANDREW: Where are we going?

OWEN: It's a surprise.

DAVE: Don't worry
about it, okay?

Is that... Is this
where we are going?

This is it.

Why is this
where we're going?

Come on, big boy.

You got the key?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hi. Yes.Hi, you Dave?

Go.All right.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's not for me... It's for...ANDREW: No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no. No.

No, no.

No.

Andrew. Andrew.ANDREW: No. No.

ANDREW: No.DAVE: Come on.

Andrew.

I'm sorry, ladies.
Can you just step out for...ANDREW: Get them out of here.

Vending machines or something.

But stay excited.

It's gonna be a big party.

Andrew, what the fuck?

ANDREW: What is this?
What did you do?

We're just trying to make
this fantasy thing cometrue for you, all right?

The girls think
we went bowling.

I don't think Hannah
would like this.

DAVE: What?ANDREW: I don't think
she would like this.

I think that this
would upset her.

Are you kidding
me about this?

You asked her
to sleep with you

and her girlfriends.
You think...

You think she's gonna
get upset at this?

That's different.

Hey, what is wrong
with you, man? What is...

I don't wanna do it.

Well, you are gonna
fucking do it

because they're here
and you're gonna do it.

Those are like truck
stop hookers, man.

They're miserable.

Hey, you know what?
You know what?They're miserable.

Those are human beings
and you need to learnsome fucking gratitude.

I'm feeling really
misunderstood right now.

I'm gonna hit you
in the face so hardwhen you come out.

You already did that,
motherfucker, with a rock.

DAVE: Hey.
Hey, what's the problem?

I'm not a sex addict.

I'm not a fucking,
like, porn addict.

I'm trying to fix
something that isbroken inside of me.

I have a dream

of getting touched,
and of getting rocked,

and of, yeah,
of getting fucked bysome special women

that I really love.

Okay. Do you hear the words
that are coming out of yourmouth right now?

Can you hear those words?

Owen.He's what... He's using

psycho-babble to try to
fuck our girlfriends, dude.I don't think...

That's not what I'm doing.Yes, you are.

You shut your face
and fuck those hookers.

No, motherfucker.

You think this
is my fantasy, huh?

You think this
is my dream?

Andy, please.

We paid for this.

Just give it a try.

What's your name?

I'm Miss Cum Police.

I'm here to
confiscate your cum.

Don't do it, man.

What?

We gotta be done
with this shit.

You gotta stop trying
to fuck Hannah.

What?

I'm not even talking
to your consciousmind right now,

I'm talking to your
sub-consciousand I'm telling it

to not fucking do it.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hmm.

I asked Zoe to marry me.

When?

Right before we got here.

What did she say?

She hasn't yet.

Uh-oh. Yikes.

Yes, yikes.

When were you
going to tell us?

It's just...

It's just time, you know.
I just did it.

It's just...

It was just time
to man up, you know?

It's grow up time.

Yes. I'm not saying...Really nice.

Hi. How was bowling?Hey.

Oh, it was good.
Can I have this?

Yeah. Well, what's
wrong with Andrew?

Nothing, he's good.Hello. Hi.

Oh, hey, buddy.

How's it going?

Good, good. You?

I'm okay. I'll let
you do your...

No, no, no, no. Stay for
a minute, let's visit.

House treating you well?

Yeah, great.
We like it a lot.Good, good.

Yeah. No disturbances
at the house?

Nope.Yeah, good.

An old man came by
looking for his dog.

That's Bear.

That's the best dog
in the world.

He belongs to crazy
Old Man Carl, but Ilove him like my own.

Sweet dog.You met him?

Yeah.Yeah, I miss that dog.

I had to move out

when the wife and I split,

but that's a whole
different bowl of wax.

Look at you.
Come here. Mmm.

There we go.
That's the guy.

Okay.

Yeah.

[SIGHS]

You gone out
to the park yet?

Not yet.Oh, okay.

Lost Horse Mine, Wonderland,

the Teddy Bears,
you got it?

Oh, now you do.
All right. Bye.

[MUSIC PLAYING IN PUB]

Can I have a tequila
and two beers?

WOMAN: Oh-oh!

Thanks.

Hey, baby.

Hello.

You want a beer?

Sure.

Thank you.

Here you go.Oh, thank you.

Okay.

My mom died.

Mine, too.

Recently?

I don't know.

Maybe 10 years ago.

My husband left me.

That's really hard.

I'm so sorry.

He's in there.

I want him back.

I miss him so bad. [CRYING]

Well, maybe he
doesn't deserve you.

You know?

He's a bastard.

You hear that,
you're a bastard.

You think
I care about you?

I'm gonna fuck you.

I'm gonna fuck you so hard,
cowboy, I'm gonna

fuck you in my
cowboy hat

till I make you scream.

I'll ride your dick off.

You motherfucker.

[HICCUPS]

With my hat on.

I... I have to

get back inside.

Thank you so much
for the... Okay?Mmm.

You... You...

You take care, darling.

You too, you too.

[CRYING]

Hey.

Make sure
your husband knowshow important you are.

And don't be afraid to
ask him what you need.

Even if it's not popular.

Wow.

Thank you, baby.

[DOOR OPENS]

Light.

Okay.Light.

Now what?
What are we doing?

DAVE: Watch out, move.

Yeah.

What're you guys doing?We're going to bed.

Aah! Don't talk.

Don't talk.ZOE: Okay.

Where are you going?

Outside. For fun.Why?

For fun?For fun.

You...

Here you go,
dirty fellow.

Yes.

You know, you are
a real asshole, Grously.

You know,
you're a real selfish dick.

Yeah, you're a selfish
dick, you are.

You are.

Do you know you're
a selfish dick?

Can you hear,
fucking piece of shit?

[WHISPERING] You're
a fucking piece of shit.

You're a dirty,
filthy, useless

piece of shit,
aren't you?

Aren't you?

Aren't you filthy?

You okay?Hmm.

Okay, come here.

I'm sorry.

Seriously?

I'm not... I...
You don't need...

I'm not like a fucking, like,
desperate housewife, okay?

You don't need to fuck
me till I need to feel better.

I'm sorry.
I'm high and I...I'm fine.

Yeah.I...

Emily.

[GROANS]

Can you... It's bedtime.

Yeah, it's bedtime.I don't wanna wake.

Hey, Emily, It's, um...

Let's go to bed.

[EMILY GROANS]

Just one quick walk.

Okay.

All right, it's bedtime.

Goodnight.Goodnight, you guys.

Dave.Mmm?

Dave.[GROANS]

Shh.

You fell asleep while
making breakfast.

Fuck you.

Are we good?

Yeah, we're good.Yeah?

Good.

Now I can go back to
sexing my girlfriend withoutlooking over my shoulder.

Wait, what? What did
you mean by we're good?

Meant that you're
gonna stop trying tofuck our girlfriends.

Oh, no. That's not over.

I thought you were
talking about the whores.

Oh... Oh, you...

You thought
I was apologizing.Yeah.

Jesus, shit!

That was not cheap, man.

It should have been.I know.

You should have
checked with Yelp!

They don't...
You can't do that on Yelp.

Sorry.

Go for it.

Thank you.

Hey.

Um, I think
we're gonna leave.

Think I'm
gonna stay here.

Do you not
wanna go hiking?

Stay here and read.

Okay, let's go.

HANNAH: Okay.

[DOG BARKING]

EMILY: Well, at least we
get to go hiking, right?

DAVE: It's getting
crazy out here.

[DOG BARKING]

EMILY: Come on.

OWEN: He's hiding the dog.

What?

He's hiding that dog
in the guesthouse.

What?

Oh.

No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. No.

Oh, my God.

It's too much,
we gotta do something.

We're trying
to do something.

I hope he's been
feeding it at least.

HANNAH: Can we please
stop talking about it?I'll take care of it.

ANDREW: Yeah, we're fat.

We're fat.

Eating like this, Grously.

We're fat fuck.

Ugly motherfucker.

You probably suck
your own dick.

Motherfucker Grously.

[SIGHS]

You fucking dick.

You're a dick.

It's just too cold.

It's just too cold.
Feels weird.

I like it.

Hey, so this
is weird, but, um...

I think somehow that
dog from next door gotinto the guesthouse.

'Cause I heard
barking and...

Went over there
and the dog wasin there.

OWEN: Pushups are not as
same as pull-ups, dude.

Anyway, I just let him out
and he walked right on home.

OWEN: I'm just saying
I don't think you have verygood upper body strength.

I do have good
upper body strength.

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

HANNAH: Has anyone
seen Andrew?DAVE: Andrew.

You know, he's gotta be
around here somewhere.

Andrew!

OWEN: Hey, buddy.

DAVE: Andrew!

I don't know, he's not
back in the bedroom.

OWEN: Where is he?DAVE: Andrew!

OWEN: I'm gonna
go look outside.

[MAN CHANTING]

DAVE: Andrew!

Andrew!

I got him.

Hey, hey, buddy.

He's freezing.

Let's get him up.

Come on, man.Wait, wait, wait.

Come on, buddy.

Come on. Come on, man.

[STRAINS] Come on.Wait, wait.

All right,
come on. Come on.We got you.

DAVE: We found him.

[COUGHS AND SHIVERS]

I'm going to bed.[GASPS] You're so cold.

Here.

Was he out
there all night?

Yeah.Where'd you guys find him?

He was just lying
in a ditch.

Oh, my God!

Andrew.

[SHIVERS]

You look cold.

[SNIFFLES]

Fuck you.

Fuck you!
Fuck you!

Fuck you.

Fuck...

[CRIES]

Can I have some tea?

My throat really hurts.

[DOOR CLOSES]

How does this feel?

It feels amazing.

Okay, then I'll
keep doing that.

Are you going to give up?

Hmm? You're going
to give up?

Are you going...
Are you goingto give up now? Now?

Are you going
to accept defeat

or are you going
to shut the door on defeat?

You are doing this.

I'm coming over.

I'm walking over
to you now.

I'm not strapped
to a bomb or anything.

I wanted to
ask you something.

Is there a scenario

in which you would
rub my chest?

Andrew...

I will give you
$100,000,000 to answerthat question honestly.

Okay.

Yes.

Thanks.

Do you know?

Yes.

No. I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Dave asked me to marry him.

What did you say?

I haven't said anything.

Well, what do you think?

Just, I don't want this
part of my life to be over.

You know?
I just want to have fun.

Come here.

ANDREW: Thank you.EMILY: Mmm-hmm.

You know what
would be scary?If that scary old

dog came by right now.

That old man's dog?

What old man?

Just this dog man.

The dog's name is Grously.

[CHUCKLES]
That's a weirdname for a dog.

I named him.

[BLOWS AIR]

I think I'm
going to go insideand get another beer.

Does anyone want anything?

I'll have one. Thank you.OWEN: Uh-huh.

Yeah, I...

I'm going to
get some wine.I'll come with you.

Oh, shit!

Oh, no.
You want to have mine?

No.

[MOANS]

[GLASS CLINKS]

This fire is so hot,
we don't even need clothes.

I think I'm going to keep
my clothes on, buddy.

I'd rather my pubes
not smell like a campfire.

Scotch pubes.

Chipotle BBQ pubes.[CHUCKLES]

[ZOE SIGHS]

This is so nice.

I know. It is, isn't it?

[GASPING]

[MOANS]

[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]

[PANTING]

[WHISPERS]
We should go back outside.Yeah.

Okay.

[CRIES]It's okay, It's okay.

It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay.

DAVE: Great story, Andrew.

ANDREW: What?

It's a sad
fucking story, man.

ZOE: It's a really sad story.

ANDREW: Yes,
I need one of those.

What were you guys
doing inside?

What?

ANDREW:
What were you guysdoing inside?

You were in there
like forever.

Were you grabbing
a snack or something?

We were fucking.

Yeah. We were fucking,
too, me and Andrew,we were fucking.

Was it hot?

So hot.[ALL LAUGH]

[ANDREW CHUCKLES]

[FAUCET RUNNING][DISHES CLANKING]

Do you need help?No.

Oh, well, you just do
the dishes and I'll just...

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[PANTING]

[SIGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

What?

ANDREW: You're ready for bed?

I'm coming.

OWEN: What are these things?

EMILY: They're
called Teddy Bears.

OWEN: Well,
they don't looklike Teddy Bears.

How beautiful they are!

Yup.

Give me the digits.[CHUCKLES]

Um...

Would you like
to have sex with me?

Did you hear me?Sorry, um...

[SING-SONG VOICE]
I kind of wasn't kidding.

Would you like
to have sex with meright now, please?

Right now? Here?Mmm-hmm. Yes.

[ROBOTIC VOICE]
Please do me in the...No.

the robot butt...No, no time for... Sorry.

I'm just,
I'm out of it.

I'm sorry.

Really? No sex for me?

I mean, you don't see
a downside to getting naked

and having sex in the...
With all these...

Cacti around.

Well...

I scoped the whole spot
over there wherethere are no cacti.

I'm...

I want to smash your head
into that cactus.

I think it's good
for you to talk abouthow you're feeling.

I hate you.

I know.

I know.

Andrew, do you hear
what I'm saying?

What if we never
get through this?

What if this doesn't end,
and then we're just done?

Then it wasn't meant to be.

[SLURPS]

LORIE: Hey.

Hey.

Baby,
what're you doing here?

Hi.

Where's Rich? [SNIFFLES]

Who?

Where's Rich?

Oh, he's not here.

We're... We're renting
this house.

What?

[WEEPS] Oh.

Where is he?
Well, where is he?

Are you... Are you hurt?

[LORIE SOBS]

You tell him what I did.

Tell Rich.Grously.

[GASPS] Grously!I just need him so bad.

Grously!I need him so bad. [WEEPS]

Grously! No.

Grously.

[LORIE MOANS]Grously.

Who the hell is Grously?

[WEEPING]

You killed him.

You killed him, you bitch.

Get...HANNAH: Andrew?

Andrew?

HANNAH: Hey.

Is that... Is that
fucking dog dead?

DAVE: What the
fuck did you do?Did you kill that dog?

HANNAH: Oh, my God, what...

EMILY: Oh, my God!
What did you do?

HANNAH: What happened?Emily, go inside.

OWEN: What the fuck
did you do, man?

DAVE: Go inside.ANDREW: I didn't kill it.

I didn't do it.

Fuck.Argh!

I didn't kill it.
I didn't kill it, dude.Get in there, man.

DAVE: You're losing
your mind, man.ANDREW: I didn't kill it, man.

I didn't kill it.

Get in there.

What do we do?

I didn't kill Grously.

[CRIES]
I didn't kill-kill him.

It was that, uh, crazy lady.

Crazy lady.

Who was at The Palms
the other night.

I say we call the cops.
He brought it on himself.

I say we call the cops.

Is no one going
to speak to me?

I don't care what you do,
I really don't.

[VOICE BREAKING]
Hello? Hello?

Hello?

I didn't kill
the dog... The dog.

If you don't call the cops,
I'm going to.

I didn't kill the dog!

I didn't kill the dog.
I didn't, I didn'tkill that dog.

I did not kill the dog!

Stop ignoring me!

Stop ignoring me.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

RICH: Hey.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.
Holy shit, am I sorry?

[SNIFFLES]

He was a good dog, huh?

[SIGHS]

Lorie called me, and uh...

She told me what she did.

She's crazy.

Well, she's crazy.

Where is he right now?

[DOOR OPENS]

I'm ready.

Uh...

I'm going to go
for a walk I think.

[GROANS]

Seriously?

Wha...

Emily.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

[GASPS]

I slept with Owen.

[HANNAH SOBS]

[CONTINUES SOBBING]

I did... I did that.

I did that, Emily.

[CRIES] Andrew.

[CONTINUES CRYING]

[SNIFFLES]

[SIGHS]

Dave?

It's okay.

Dave.

Dave, where are you?

What're you doing?

Emily, I'm just...

Don't just leave
like this, okay?

Let's just talk about it.
Let me explain what happened.

I...

Listen... Don't...

Please don't,
please don't justleave like this.

Please don't.

Just... Can you just
sit down and talk to mefor two minutes?

Please don't just leave.
[CRIES]

Please don't just...

[DOOR CLOSES]

ZOE: Emily.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

I got to go.

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

Dave?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?
Stop it! Stop!

I have to go!

No.[GROANS] Argh!

[PANTS]

You have to promise me

that you will never,
ever, ever leave me.

Okay.

Yes.

Yes?

Yes.Yes?

Yes.

We're going to
get out of this hole.

We're going to get out

of this hole.

[SNIFFLES]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[SNIFFLES]

[SNIFFLES]

[LAUGHS]