The Banksy Job (2016) - full transcript

- Hello, hello, where
are you at the moment?

You're gonna love this,
you're gonna be on the news

and everything, it's all legal,

there's nothing illegal
about it whatsoever,

mate, if, if, if, I promise ya,

I promise ya now, it's, it's,

middle of north-central
London now,

I'm at this moment sat
on a flat back truck.

All right, we're gonna
actually, we're gonna go

and we're gonna acquire
one of Banksy's works

and we're gonna
hold it to ransom.



The plan was to get
it out of there,

under any
whatsoever, we had no time

to mess around with
it, we had to get in

and get it out, and at the time,

it was when there was a
lot of terrorist threats,

it was just after 9/11,
it could have been filled

with fucking Semtex,
Gelignite, who knows.

- It was planned, like,
very precise, yes.

Contingency plans?

I wouldn't run like
fuck if it come on top,

no, not really.

- Best time to do it,
when it's rush hour,

because the police
cameras are busy watching

for other things, do it at
two o'clock in the morning,



it looks like you're
nicking a fucking statue,

do it at two o'clock
in the afternoon,

it looks like you're
working for a council,

you're doing a job.

I'm starting to get nervous now,

I'm starting to get very
nervous, it's all on, innit?

It's an art theft, and
I quite like the thought

of being an international art,

doing an international
art crime.

Yeah, now we're
fizzing, a bit of panic,

a bit of stress, you know.

I didn't realize then I was
opening a fucking Pandora's box.

I'm AK-47, leader and
front man of Art Qaeda,

we're an art terrorist
organization.

We don't like to go
around killing people,

we bomb it with art, we
spray paint, we graffiti.

The reason I'm pissed off
with Banksy is he refused

to sign my fucking print.

- Britain's
most wanted artist.

- What I
love about Banksy is

that you think about the message he puts out to the public.

- Stars
like Brad Pitt are said

to pay hundreds of thousands
of pounds for his pieces.

- He's opened
people's eyes to graffiti,

he's like a
contemporary anti-hero.

- His work
being the target of thieves.

- On the one hand,
we have Banksy,

international artist,
and on the other hand,

we have Andy, AK-47,
Art Qaeda, on the other.

And now, I like Andy,
but he's not Banksy.

- Do it, do the fucking thing,

you can get away with it,

put a bomb under a work of art.

I live in a dream
world, don't I?

I'm an artist, I live in
my, I live in AK-47 world.

My art is not to
be bought or sold,

I don't do it for
the money, I do it

because I just do it to
cause fucking mayhem.

I want to be the thorn
in the side of society,

I like poking a
stick at the man,

because if you don't
poke a stick at the man,

the man fucking beats
you with his stick.

Arto political
humanism, it's artistic,

it's political, and
we're taking the piss.

- AK-47 is a madman.

- Okay, let's go take
on the art world.

- He's a man of many
hats, football hooligan,

porn star, bad boy, you
know, street artist.

- He's at once
charming and sensitive,

and also incredibly irritating,
and obdurate, and annoying.

- I'm an art, ink art terrorist,

and I'm gonna go where
the fuck I want now.

- He's a rebel, he
likes to occupy sort

of whatever the risks or the
edge might be of anything.

- This is what we fucking
want, this is art.

- He wants to be an
artist, and he is an artist

to some extent,
we're all artists,

he just happens to
be a piss artist.

- He's one of these people
that will just try anything,

you know, and I think this
street art thing just came along

and it just fell into his lap.

- So I came out of this
club in Shoreditch one night,

we were looking
down on the floor,

I see this white line,
but we were laughing,

'cause we were following
this white line,

you know, what idiots do that?

I bet David and the
when they get home

and there's no paint
left in the can.

Went all round up
through Shoreditch,

it's across a couple of
roads, I turned the corner,

and then I saw it,

that's brilliant, that is art.

Then I saw a few more, then
different bits all started

to blend in, I
just thought, "Wow,

this is something,
this is the next thing,

he were doing things I
wish I had the balls to do,

it's edgy, and it's
illegal, I just loved it,

that's why I went to
buy my first print."

- Turf War was Banksy's first
kind of major art exhibition,

it was a great
thing to be part of,

it was, it felt like a movement,

and all the cool
people were there,

you know, it was like, you know,

all the DJs were
there, and like,

the sort of Shoreditch twats.

- The flying coppers used to
be on the bridge at Shoreditch,

I'd already bonded with that,

'cause I saw it on
a regular basis.

So I went on in so I could
actually buy a print of it,

I thought, "Oh, I love that."
And there were two versions

of it, there were the signed
print, which runs in 50 quid.

- These are the signed
prints, they're 150 quid.

- And there were
the unsigned print,

which was 75 pounds.

- These ones are
unsigned, they're 75 quid.

- So being the man I
am, I went straight

for the 75 pound print,
'cause in my opinion,

I could get Banksy to sign it
for me, and we'd all be good.

When, after I'd
bought the print,

I was looking around
to see if he was there,

and maybe if he was
there, I was gonna ask him

to sign it for me, but, you
know, can't fucking find him.

- I don't think Banksy's
anonymity is a gimmick at all,

I think the guy has always
been very, very private,

well, then, I don't think
he trusts many people,

and certainly doesn't
allow many people

into an inner circle,
but AK-47 is persistent.

- My friend were his
driver, right, so I says

to my man, "Will you get Banksy
to sign the print for me?"

The word from Banksy was, "If
I had wanted a signed print,

I should have
fucking bought one,

and stop being such a
jackass knob and prick."

That fucking incised
me, I was like,

"You cheeky twat, he thinks I'm
in it for the fucking money."

And I'm not, he didn't
realize I wanted it

'cause I loved his fucking work,

and okay, a bit of ego in
it, nice to see someone

that signed it to me personally

by somebody who could
be famous one day.

- All the best things in
life are free for Andy,

who knows, but I
think there might be,

there might be a
monetary angle to this.

He's a sensitive little soul,

so if you started questioning
him about it, he's gonna,

he's gonna put up, you
know, a sterling defense.

- Flying copper,
signed, sold for 12,500.

The unsigned pieces are
worth between four and 6,000.

So Banksy were right,
maybe I should have spent

the other 75 fucking quid,
but that's not the point.

- He has an incredibly
competitive personality,

keen to sort of
just step in there

and not really think
about the consequences.

- He drew first blood,
you disrespect me

and I will follow
you to the ends

of the earth to get it back.

Never underestimate your enemy.

- My favorite quote about
Andy, about himself,

he went, "I'm like herpes, me,"

and I just thought, "Yeah,
yeah, actually, you are."

And once you've had a
dose, it can come up

at any time without
announcing itself,

and it's not really something
that you kind of want.

- If you get to know
Andy, you don't have

to get to know him
really, really well

to actually
understand who he is,

because there's so many
different personalities.

- I'm always
reinventing myself,

I've had so many
different characters,

I'm still reinventing
to this day.

I started to play football,

so I became a football
hooligan for quite a few years.

I got into
pornography, you know,

just natural,
honest pornography.

Met these guy called
police captains ,

within three days I'm in
a guerrilla army camp,

supplying the Korean National
Liberation Army with guns.

In Glastonbury, somebody
checked an E down my neck,

and that completely changed it.

- Then he was an
acid house organizer,

so he did a massive party

in Wakefield under
a motorway bridge.

- I was the acid house
scene in Wakefield,

you know what I mean?

- Largest mass arrest
in British history,

he was responsible for that.

- I ended up getting
15 months imprisonment,

which came as a bastard
shock to me, to be honest.

And that time, I didn't realize

that who I am is an artist, I
just thought I were different.

- Andy undertook the phases
that any student would take,

starting to identify, what
is it that art means for you?

- And, you
know, I remember

when those two Chinese guys went

and jumped on Tracey Emin's Bed,

and instead of
them getting nicked

for criminal damage,
they let 'em off,

'cause they said
they were Stuckists,

they were the
Stuckists movement,

so I realized that if
you say you're an artist,

you can get away with
anything you fucking,

it's not criminal
damage, it's art.

And then I realized,
well, I am an artist.

I am an artist by lifestyle,
not by profession,

life is my medium,
I can't paint,

but I can come up with ideas
I can create in my mind,

I'm conceptual, the first
time I called myself

an artist was when I
stole the Banksy piece.

- As far as Banksy's concerned,

the first time he spoke
to me about it was an idea

that was just coming
through his head,

and it was gonna be like,
an appropriation of space,

in terror-tight central London,

where you could cut the
atmosphere with a knife,

and there's cameras
looking at you from every angle,

you can actually take
space, and use it,

and transform it,
and that's precisely

what his sculpture was gonna do.

When all of this was happening,
he didn't have any money,

he wasn't interested in money,

money never came
into the conversation

about any of this stuff, "I'm
gonna make this big statue

and just put it in the
middle of this city,

and I'm gonna twist
people's brains,

'cause they're gonna wonder

how the fuck this
thing got there."

- The idea of Banksy
bringing this statue

into the middle of the city,
I find that to be a coup.

That, you know, two
and a half square miles

or whatever is probably
the most surveilled spot

in the whole of England.

- He said it with
such intent, it sort

of took my breath away,
he's into this more

than I could ever even
believe, and I didn't dare

to say, "Well, how the
fuck are you gonna do that?

Are you gonna get
fucking busted?"

- It seems like the elusive Banksy has struck again,

and this time, he's gone
from stencils to statues.

Called The Drinker, it was
installed overnight here

in central London
without permission.

- Well, The Drinker
is a representation

of a very classical
piece of sculpture,

which was originally by
Rodin in the 19th century,

and Banksy has, of course,
totally undermined it,

stuffed a traffic
cone on its head,

and undercut a millennia of
all of ancient civilization

and philosophical inquiry.

- So far there
have been no witnesses,

and it seems that this
time, neither the police,

nor the local
council will be able

to remove it any time soon.

- You've gotta get a
truck, a flatbed truck,

and we've got to get a crane,

who is gonna move an extremely
heavy statue on a plinth?

- Suddenly a little
plan started,

a little bell started ringing

in my ear, like,
ding, ding, ding.

It was a large fucking
item out on the street

without any permission,
so it was dumped,

it was fly-tipping, I
wanted some respect back.

If I take it and
say I'm an artist,

there was no, no, nothing no
way anybody could stop me going

and getting the fucker.

- Andy was aware of this
thing being on the street,

decided to do something about
it, appropriate it in a,

you know, in a shameless,
thunder-stealing exercise.

- It's a way for him
to spring into action.

He's able to galvanize
people to spring

into action with him.

- I shout, people fucking
listen, and I'm a man that can,

I've got fingers in many pies,

I'd already got my
network of connections,

over fucking 30 years
of being involved

in every kind of
modern cultures.

- As far as these operatives

and who was part of
the organization,

it's people who haven't
got the strength

to say no to him, really.

- I looked at what I'd gotten,

and I picked the
right man for the job.

- Could you
tell me your name, please?

- To be honest with you mate,
I'd rather not say.

R2IC, mate, second in command,

and also I do
logistics and a bit

of a quartermaster, you
know, fix things and that.

- Art is not Robert's forte,

he can ship an AK-47 down in
about a minute and a half,

but when it comes
to knowledge of art,

Robert's not, he's not,
that's not his bag.

- What do
you consider to be art?

- Me?

A normal flipping
painting is art, innit?

You know, you get
a little cottage,

a bit of greenery,
a fucking lake,

ducks and whatever,
that sort of thing,

but circles, squares,
and triangles is,

not interested me, so
Link, he sat me down,

educated me a bit, Tracey
Emins had a tit job,

didn't she, or something,
that's about all I learned,

and Banksy's a no-good cunt.

- The art of taking the
piss is basically a device

that Andy uses to
capture pretty much most

of what he does, and it
also gives him a license

to do what he does.

- So here I am,
morning of the crime.

I didn't get to bed 'til
fucking half past eight

this morning, just sat,
mind going numb, like,

and then had these
mad, mad dreams.

Really crazy dreams
about me stuck in school,

so I have got a fucking
conscience, see,

or maybe I'm just
tits up.

And it's, everything's so
amateurly, it's unbelievable.

I made one phone call
to a friend I knew

that run a scrapyard,

and I told him I wanted
a truck with a gib.

I'm employing you
to do this job,

well, if it comes on top,
I will fucking tape the,

go and put that in your
lorry, just in case.

- I'm all right.

- Just cover it,
just for parking.

I then phoned Robert, and went,

"Hey-ho, Robert,
we're off on a caper."

All right, well, we're
just waiting now

for the other
member of the team,

and I think that might well
be our man turning up now,

there he is, agent number two.

Robert's all right in
a lot of respects,

but his timekeeping can
be, what can we say, iffy.

- We've got to
be back by three, though,

gotta collect, or we
lose a step, don't I?

- Oh, we're
gonna have to ,

it's a quarter now.

- What?

- Three.

- A quarter to three?

- Yeah, it's a
quarter to fucking three now.

- Oh,
you're shitting me.

- I'm not,
it's, what have you got

to do with it?

- Just collect
it from.

- And take it where?

- And look
after it 'til four.

- Oh, fuck.

No, cunty fuck, I need somebody,

I can't take you, you're
with a kid, Robert.

- You're kidding me.

- I can't take you
with a fucking kid legally.

- Gypsies have
about 30 in the front.

- Yeah, but that's fucking,

how can you plan
something like this,

and then it all go so mad?

- It's art.

- It's not fucking
art, it's a fuck-up.

- Yeah, I was babysitting,
so I canceled one day,

you know what I mean,
and the next day,

we got on with it.

- All right.

I felt the pressure from
setting up in the fucking lorry.

I'm starting to get nervous now,

I'm starting to
get really nervous.

- It's all on, innit?

Done some funny
things in my life,

but I've never nicked
a statue, never.

- It's an art
heist, it's everything,

and it's like, all emotions.

♪ We're drinking his house

♪ We're drinking his house

♪ Watch out, Banksy,
we're drinking his house ♪

♪ Drinking his eyes

- Oh, we're fucking up.

I've done a lot, a lot of
contemplation about this,

a lot of worrying and
all that, a lot of ideas.

This could be the bad
bit of not planning now,

'cause we don't actually
know exactly where it is.

There it is, there
it is, there it is,

yeah, there it is,
there, there it is,

the art, there it is.

There it is, that's the very
first time I've seen it.

Mind blowing, it were like,
"Wow, that's fucking good, that.

Yeah, that's fucking
brilliant, I like that."

The size of it, the
audacity that the bastards

could just plunk
it down anywhere he
wanted, I like the fact

that the council had freshly
washed his name off of it,

they thought it were
a legitimate statue

that had been tagged.

Is it fiberglass?

Wicked.

It's fiberglass,
it's fucking plastic.

Yeah, that's just gonna
lift off in one piece.

Fucking come on, me and
my boys will have this.

- The aim here to get that
piece without getting caught.

They just rolled up
on a flatbed truck,

broad daylight,
high-viz jackets on,

acting as if they
were commissioned

to actually be there, I mean,
that is absolutely priceless,

because sometimes
you have to do things

in everybody's face in
order to get away with it.

- Right, take
your jacket off,

put your gas mask on.

- Why are we wearing gas masks?

Yeah, yeah, that was
obviously AK's idea,

I mean, I only use things
like that when I need to,

I would not use it in the middle

of the afternoon in the city.

- Why not?

- 'Cause it just
looks a bit daft.

- Yeah, Rob, gas
mask, where's your gas mask?

Get it on.

Our biggest fear were
the police coming

and moving the lorry
for illegal parking.

We had no time to
mess around with it,

we have to get in
and get it out.

- 'Cause all we
needed was really,

was an adjustable spanner.

- That's it, mate.

- Rob, we're
gonna have to keep its,

will it dust it up?

- Huh?

- Can we
protect it stood up?

- What, on the lorry?

- Yeah.

During the heist,
I was stood around,

just filming it, and I'm
pretty good with a camera,

'cause I used to make
porns, so I was quite okay

to do with one
thing with one hand

and having a camera
in the other.

Yeah, Rob, blindfold
him, blindfold him.

- Why
are his eyes closed?

- So he doesn't
know where he's going,

we're kidnapping him.
Hi, how ya doing,

can I ask you to
little interview?

- Yeah.

- Okay, have you
heard of the artist Banksy?

- Uh, no.

- Thanks a lot,
I'm actually robbing it,

I'm stealing it.

- Are you?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- It's a robbery.

- Where are
you gonna put it?

- Well, that's
beside the point, mate,

he's the last you'll see of
it until the ransom's paid,

we're gonna put
him up to ransom.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, we're
ransoming Banksy.

What do you think of
it, did you think I'm

an artist or a terrorist
'cause I'm stealing his work?

- I think, I don't know artist
terrorists, I don't know.

- Where are you from?

- Manchester.

- Yeah, well,
you're all about,

you're all about thieving
things from Manchester.

- He does like taking a photo,

one taking photos and me running
around the bleeding thing,

you do get a bit warm,
you know what I mean?

- We've done it,
innit, art robbery,

and we've done it, and
we got it documented.

So I might not have a
fuck E to that,

both of you deserve one,
I think I'll have two.

Do you want a cigar?

- No,
I'm all right, mate,

I'm gonna roll a
spliff in a minute.

- Yeah, it's
not gonna do it, is it?

Will you hold two the camera
there for us, mate?

I'll see if I can help him.

- I'm already open,

it gives me something
to do, don't it?

What's that statue there?

- Banksy's a
famous artist, I think.

- Yeah?

- Yeah,
they all nicked it.

- Can I pick someone and
tell 'em it's raining?

- Yeah,
go for it, go for it.

- We're doing the
fucking.

- Is
that it, is that it?

- Yes!

I am now in possession
of you, Banksy!

Euphoric, euphoric, like I've
nicked the best thing ever.

I was a hero, I've done
what I said I were gonna do.

That's when I suddenly
realized, well, this is it.

I've found my niche.

I've always been a piss-taker,

and it should be accepted
that there's an art in it,

and I'm a fine artist at it.

- Yeah, it felt good,
mate, it felt like,

you know, when you score a goal,

I suppose, and
you're a footballer,

and you get it, all
the

yeah, similar to
that, I suppose.

- Well, the next
part of the plan was

to let him know I've got it,

I wasn't just gonna
ring up and say,

"Oh, listen, I've
nicked your statue."

I'm an art terrorist, let's
fucking poke the nest again.

Champagne to celebrate, I think
we might as well.

I've even got that
to send in a letter,

in an envelope, look,
either pay the ransom

or it gets it.

- With AK-47 nicking it is
just grist to Banksy's mill,

definitely pique his interest,

who is this person who
would just come along

and fucking take it?

- I am AK-47,
leader and front man

of the arto-political
humorist group, Art Qaeda.

We have your statue, you
must meet our demands.

I am AK-47.

Is Banksy.

Hi, I'm AK-47.

To be honest, I would
have to be high on drugs.

Shut up, fucking hell,
this is not going well.

Hi, I'm AK-47,
leader and front man

of the atto-political,
fucking bullocks.

Basic, basically, I've done
it, I've pulled off a scoop.

- Yeah, I was on the
top deck of a 38,

and when Andy calls and
goes, "I've stolen a Banksy,"

I goes, "What,
where, from what?"

"It's a statue," and
he explained the whole thing.

- By me stealing his art,
does that mean make it,

does that mean, make it,
make me a fucking terrorist,

or does that make me an
artist on top of his art?

- Oh,
shut up, will you.

- Oh, totally out of the blue,

I can remember the phone
call like it was yesterday.

- It's a lad's mag
fucking story, innit?

But it's also art.

- That was it, and I was
part of it, you know,

first recruit into
the, the movement.

- I knew AK-47 on his
own just wouldn't cut it.

And it always sounds better
if there's lots of you,

if you're an organization,
rather than one person.

- I think, think
he wanted to sort

of broaden his horizons and
make it more like a terrorist,

an arto-terrorist organization.

Um, is that the right word?

- What's the AK stand for?

Well, we bounced it around,
we came up with Art Qaeda.

- I don't know "Enabling a
fragile snowflake" would do much

for me, what, what
is it, what is, what,

how would you enable
a fragile snowflake,

that doesn't really
make sense, does it?

This is the Link-y
of it, isn't it?

Not enough shite in there,
it needs some more asses.

Art Qaeda are the
come Unstuckists.

I think he'd like
that idea that,

like, you know, people around
the world get this idea

of stealing art and taking
the piss could be a movement,

he actually does want
to bomb Glastonbury,

and sort of kill everybody
who owns an Apple Mac,

but it's just in his head.

- It suddenly grew,
and it did grow

into an army within weeks,

people wanted to have a,
see what we were up to next.

Art Qaeda!

I kidnapped Tracey
Emin off of the wall

of the Hackney Empire, she
wasn't fucking happy at all,

especially when we sent it
back and it didn't work.

Bildrum would unveil
his new work of art,

which had an Icelandic theme
to it, so we nicked it,

flew it to Iceland, and we
did a big burial ceremony.

Art Qaeda strikes again,
who is the next one?

Doug Fishbone, he
made this sculpture,

it was just a big pyramid
of fucking bananas.

I turned up in a gorilla suit,

stuck a sign in the top,
"arto-political humourism."

- Which I really don't know
exactly what that means,

but he's been using
it for 10 years,

so it must be relevant
for something.

- I'm a guerrilla
outfit, you know,

I run a guerrilla organization,

and there were bananas, it
was just too fucking easy.

- Suddenly, people
knew this name, AK-47,

you know, especially Banksy.

- Art Qaeda, we are here, which
you cannot acknowledge now.

- So there we are with
this guy, who was saying

that he was holding this
Drinker for a ransom.

- And that's all, folks.

We will be in touch.

We made a ransom
note, I think it said,

"Help me please, Banksy,"
and I just put it

on one, one sheet
of paper, ,

and it, it just ran like a
proper terrorist thing then,

you know, and it just went
like I wanted it to, really.

We're gonna issue our demands,

and see, I'll only send
it when I want you.

- The money.

- Yeah, it's not the money,
it's not for the money.

Attention of Banksy,
that's...

I think I'll have a biscuit.

- He came up with this
idea to call The Guardian,

and Simon Hattenstone
was his go-between.

- Simon Hattenstone then
becomes hostage negotiator,

not because he wanted to,
but he was the only one

with contacts to us both.

- Yeah, it's
true, it had gone.

We received a ransom
letter with some pictures

of the statue, with GafferTape
over its eyes and mouth,

it looked quite good, actually.

- I said, "I'll take
five grand for it,"

that's what I said, I said,
"I'll take five grand,"

to cover expenses and
a drink out of it,

enough to buy a Banksy canvas.

- So I told
him I was only prepared

to leave money in a
suitcase on the condition

that they dump The Drinker
in the Serpentine Gallery,

or the New Tate, or next to
The Cenotaph in Whitehall.

- Cheeky fucking, if
he can't fucking do it,

I'm not doing his work for
him, I'm not taking the piss.

- Well, I
had a think about it,

and I said I was willing
to give him two pounds

towards a can of petrol, it
has to be unleaded, mind,

so they can
incinerate the thing.

- Fine, tell him to
give me a petrol can

and sign the petrol
can, and I'll do it.

- Well,
my only regret was

that I thought that The Drinker

on fire would look a lot better

than my Drinker,
which is annoying,

but that was my final offer.

- Banksy was like, "I'm
not playing with him,

you've stole my thunder,"

seems to me like you
were a right minger,

little fucking spoiled brat,
and I didn't just get him

an art one-piece, I
got him the front cover

and a two page fucking spread,

he couldn't have bought
that publicity I got him,

so I asked him, ,
I thought, "Well, you know,

it'll go nice, well,
thanks for that,"

again, I thought I'd
done him a fucking favor.

All I'd happy with were
to meet the guy from it,

and he could have had it back.

- Well,
actually, I was quite glad

to be rid of him, the thing is,
I only live in a small flat,

so I didn't really
have the space.

- He didn't give a fuck,
I've got a fucking Banksy

in my backyard
that were going up

in value every fucking week.

I loved it, I loved my
statue in my garden.

It were great, you know, I used

to look out my
window and see it,

all the neighbors liked it.

My neighbors used to say,
"I love that statue,"

you know, "It's great,
that we walk past

that bit of garden and
smile every time we see it."

Yeah, of course I
got attached to it.

- Um, well, a
scrupulous honesty is a,

is a rare commodity
in the art world.

If someone had come to me then,

"I've got the drinker,"
I'd have gone,

"Hmm, how tall is it, will
it fit in my gallery?"

If someone comes to
me with some piece

of street art they
removed off the street,

then all they've done
is create a vacancy.

- I mean, what you have to
understand is the art world

is manifestly corrupt,
right across the board.

What there is is people doing
the dinner party circuit

in West London, in
Hollywood, et cetera,

and they want to have the
best, the biggest Banksy,

it's, "Come and have
a look at my Banksy."

- Obviously Banksy is bankable,
he always wanted to be,

why did he call himself
Banksy, robbing banks?

We were just doing a bit
of bankability for him,

we're just taking his play
on his name one step further.

- I started to think about
covering my ass legally.

The best thing to do
is be a good citizen,

go to the police and say,
"Look what I've found."

- If you find a gold
watch on the floor,

you take it to the
police station, if
you're daft enough to,

it potentially
could become yours.

- So I walked into
the police station,

a copper came out and
says, "Can I help you?"

And I says, "Yeah, I'd like
to report a found statue."

So he goes, "Okay,
let me write,"

and he stood at his blotter and,

"Okay, so, can you describe it?"

It's a 10 foot statue, a
copy of Rodin's The Thinker.

- It's a what?

- He laughed, just goes,

"How the fuck did you
find a statue like that?"

And I said, "Look, it's
by a graffiti artist,

and he's put it out
there, it's a piece

of street art, I think."

"How the fuck did you get that?"

"Well, I took it in a lorry."

"In a lorry, but
you just found it?"

I'm not gonna sit here
and explain the concepts

and legalities of street
art to a policeman,

you know, it's a little
bit out of your field.

- You're fucking right it's
out of my fucking field.

- And he said, "You
know what, man,

I haven't got
fucking time for this,

just give me the
fucking details."

He says, "We've nowhere
to store it."

I says, "It's okay, I've
got somewhere safe for it."

He gave me a little
green slip saying,

"There you go, if nobody gets
in touch within three months."

- It's yours.

- Andy did what I think is
a really sophisticated act,

to have gone and
reported it found.

- Technically, the
law being constructs,

he does own it, unless
the artist came forward

and said, "Actually, I
created this work of art,

"and it belongs
to me by default."

But then, they can be
like, "Well," you know,

"Now we know who you are,
then your nicked, son."

- I felt like Neville
Chamberlain, "In
my hand is a piece

"of paper declaring the war
with Banksy is over."

- Andy went to the police,

then the piece
became legally his,

and he had it put in his garden,

and then, I understand
that Banksy had a bit

of a sense of humor
failure about this,

which I slightly
sympathize with.

- I'm not quite sure
how bothered Banksy was

about the situation, but I feel

that it may have pissed him off,

you know, even ever so slightly.

You have the
impression from Andy

that he would have milked
that for a long time,

he probably would have made
100 videos out of that.

- We are the revolution.

This, this is the revolution.

- I think Banksy just
wanted it to stop.

- This shady funking mank
started to get involved,

dodging over from the other
side of the ,

he'd seen it in me
backyard and he were one

of the few people that knew
it was in my back garden,

and he just constantly
kept hounding me about it,

and I'm like, "Fuck
off, scally fucker."

So three to six months later,
an old friend of mine says,

"Will you come to
Rotterdam with me?

"I've got to pick up my dog."

And funnily enough,
that fucking scummy,

fucking scally
rings me up, "Hey,

"can we take Monday ,
'cause the fucking

"are playing, I'll be in
London," and I'm like,

"No, mate, I won't be back
now until Sunday night."

I gets home on the
Sunday afternoon,

goes to take my
beloved dog for a walk,

and as I come around
the back, horror.

Stolen, stolen, gone.

Striking the same pose

as his beloved Banksy sculpture,

the owner says the fiberglass
Drinker has been stolen

from his back garden in Hackney.

- I went to the press, I
went straight to the press,

I have to let the world know
that I am the legal owner.

I put posters up
round the street;

Did anybody see anything?

'cause I got the
antiquities police involved.

Look, this is a work by Banksy,

it's an important
work by Banksy,

could be worth up to a million
quid in a few years time,

it has to be down as
a stolen work of art.

So that's what they did,
it's registered down,

if that piece comes up on the
world market, it is stolen.

- The police
accept he is the legal owner,

even though he found and
took the work himself

from Shaftesbury
Avenue three years ago.

- I was at an old
villain's house in Essex,

and he is an old
villain, and, you know,

all his friends, they're
all old villains.

"Did you hear about the statue?"

I said, "Yes, of
course," and he said,

"I was the one that
snatched it back."

So I nearly fell over,
I was like, "What?"

They did exactly the
same as what he did,

they rolled up to AK-47's
house, high-viz jackets,

you know, hard hats,
backed up the truck

and just loaded it
onto the...

- I knew straightaway
what had fucking gone on,

and it took me 30 seconds to
work out who, what, and why.

"I don't know what you're
fucking talking about,

Linky, I don't know, it's
not to fucking do with me,

hey, hey, you've
got this all wrong,

you've got this
all fucking wrong."

I knew I hadn't got it wrong,

I knew damn well
what had gone on.

He told them that
I wouldn't be there

and it was in my back garden.

- Only one person would
commission other people

to take this piece of art.

- Well, it's obvious who
fucking set it up, innit,

it doesn't take two and
two to make that out.

- I don't know whether Banksy
had it stolen back or not,

but the word is that
him or his people did.

- And I got a phone
call from his manager,

Steve Lazarides, he says, "Oh,

I've heard you've
had the statue stolen,

oh, I'm really sorry to hear
that, but we haven't got it."

But he, what he said
to me was the giveaway,

'cause he said to me,
"Well, you'll do all right,

you've still got the
traffic cone, haven't you?"

Now, how did he know that?

- There are
four basic human needs,

food, sleep, sex, and revenge.

- He's on the
antiquities stolen squad,

so Banksy couldn't
do fuck-all with it.

So I had actually
assumed that he did

what he wanted to
do and destroyed it.

Devastation, you know,
I'd been cocky as fuck,

and suddenly I were devastated,

I felt like me stomach
had been ripped open,

by this time, I'd have put
the statue at 100 grand,

it's like I'd just
lost 100,000 pound out

of me back garden, and
how would you feel?

Like, it just became a
bit of a fucking joke.

I hid my head in shame
and .

- He's become the
thinker, hadn't he?

He's like, really fucking,
"How am I gonna work this out,

and how am I gonna, fucking,"

maybe he should stick
the traffic cone

on his head and assume position

and just occupy his time
like that for some time,

and the thinking cap may
bring some enlightenment

to his personal predicament.

- It's a bunch of villains

that have come and
taken this statue,

so they've got no idea the cone
even belonged to the statue,

they probably thought that
someone had just put it

on there by mistake, or for
a laugh, or for a giggle.

- The whole point
of this is, which,

everybody is fucking missing,

the actual Drinker is
not the work of art,

The Drinker is a copy
of Rodin's The Thinker.

The work of art
in itself is this,

that's the fucking piece,
because that's the only thing

that Banksy's paws have touched.

- So he's got this,
he's got one part

of the original
sculpture, that's fine,

I mean, but it is,
it's a road cone.

- So that is the work
of art, that's all

that's the fucking Banksy,
and that's what's got,

that's what's got
his original finish.

- Well, it's got to
be madness, innit?

Who is actually gonna want
to possess a traffic cone

that might have
been touched by him,

it's entirely within
the realms of fantasy,

it's just obviously bollocks.

- It could have all washed away,

and I'd just be left with this

as a, as a stand for me
fucking fan, and that'd be it.

So I'm at a party at a
friend's house one night,

and I've sat down,
having a spliff

with this fucking hippie,
and I'm telling him

about The Drinker story,
and he turned around and,

"Oh, you nicked that
fucking Banksy statue,

"I know the guy that
made it," ding, what?

- Every piece
of art that comes up,

I say, "Yeah, it's
Banksy," not realizing

that it might not
necessarily be his handiwork,

it might be just his idea.

- Warhol didn't
make all his works,

The Factory's chucking them out,

same as Damien Hirst
does, he doesn't make 'em,

he gets his fucking
minions to do it,

his little fucking elves.

Banksy couldn't make sculptures,

Banksy doesn't make half
his fucking stencils.

- The time that he called
us was a call for help,

because I think fairly he
didn't have a deep knowledge

of maybe working on a
large piece like that.

- I don't really
know much about sculpture,

so I mistakenly thought
that Rodin was just famous

by accident, but
as it turns out,

he's actually quite good, so
it wasn't as simple as that,

and yeah, it's not as
easy as making stencils.

- This idea started fucking
festering in me head,

because I'd still got the cone,

still got part of the
image of the sculpture,

I started looking
into a history of art

that's been broken
and destroyed,

and remade and restored.

We're talking, they suddenly
found the broken armor

for Michelangelo, you
could put the rest to it,

that would then become
a restored Michelangelo.

So Damien Hirst's shark
was rotting in the gallery,

they skinned it and put
it on a plastic model,

and the whole world accepted
that as the original,

including Damien Hirst, if
I get the statue re-made

by the original fabricators,

it then becomes a
restoration piece,

I'm bringing back a lost Banksy.

- By reconstructing statues

that have been stolen is
actually a viable thing,

as long as it's to scale,

original maquette
would certainly give
it more provenance.

- How ya doing, mate?

So I met with these guys, and
they seemed pretty genuine.

They showed me all
the photographs

of the work that they'd
done on the original.

Twin brothers, both called Sam.

I mean, what mother has
twins and calls them Sam,

Sam and Samuel,
it's like, oh, wow.

- The way we work is
to help other artists,

whether you are big
or not, to achieve

whatever idea you
want to achieve.

- Andy contacted the
original sculptor,

who I understand has an
original maquette of the work,

which is a small version
of the sculpture,

and he's asked them
to recreate it,

and then I assume he's
gonna want to sell it.

- He said if I
wanted another one,

he could make it exact
for about 20 grand,

and then when I went
back to him next time,

it had suddenly gone
up from 20 to 40,

I'm still thinking, "Okay,
if it's 30, 40 grand in it,

it's getting a bit much,
but I'm on this road now

and I'm committed to it."

Beg, steal, borrowed,
pestered, hounded.

It took me about
five years, yeah,

when I got the money I
felt pretty goddamn good,

like, yeah, now we
can fucking go for it.

Once I say I'm gonna do
something, then I fucking do it,

no matter what consequences
come of it, I'll do it,

and it's a major
piece by Banksy,

it was his first major statue,

I am restoring a
lost work of art,

and without me,
this piece will not,

it'll never be seen again.

It's the phoenix from the
flames, it's gonna rise again,

and I'm gonna rub it
right in his fucking face.

- Andy's idea of
recreating The Drinker,

I felt was a brilliant idea,

because it gave
Andy another run.

- Welcome home.

I wouldn't say I were
lumbered with a giant statue,

I'd just say I'd got one
unusually large garden gnome.

It's in a very secure
place.

It's hidden in the extensive
arcade and warehouse complex.

Yeah, yeah, exactly,
exactly, yes.

All right, here we go then,
fella.

Yeah, well, I didn't come
to play at the sale of it,

I'd love it to
sell at Christie's

and make a million fucking
quid, of course I would.

- You can re-edit works by
an artist in the art world,

but you generally have
to use the original molds

or get the artist's consent,
and here you have neither.

It's a sort of mongrel,
it's not a purebred.

You have mark one cone
with mark two Drinker,

and this is going
to affect value.

If you were able to get
a certificate from them,

from Banksy to say,
"You know what,

yeah, I endorse this
thing, and it was made

by the original artist,
who I commissioned

to make this sculpture,
and I will allow this

to be a Banksy," rubber
stamp, a million quid.

Without that piece of paper,

and without that endorsement,
it's a difficult sell.

It would be very helpful
to have Banksy come onboard

and make some sort of comment,

but Banksy isn't
gonna comment on it,

but being Andy, he's
not gonna give up,

and because he's a pest.

- Pest Control
is a handling service acting

on behalf of the artist,
Banksy, we answer inquiries

and determine whether
he was responsible

for making a certain
piece of artwork,

and issue paperwork
if this is the case.

- The Banksy machine has
become more important

than Banksy himself, the
press have picked up this sort

of Robin Hood
character that he is,

the myth that he's putting
his street work out there

for the people, completely
overlooking the fact

that there's a big money-making
machine behind this.

Basically, the artist
uses the street works

as the to his
canvases and prints,

and obviously, for his own
benefit as much anything else,

can't authenticate it, it'd
be like signing a confession.

- Pest
Control is our sole point

of sale for new work by Banksy.

- None of the established
auction houses

in the UK or the US will
accept any Banksy artwork

without Pest Control provenance.

- Oh, I'm gonna
go on as Andy Link,

organization, Art Qaeda.

- It's a horribly
lengthy process,

you'd have to prove as much
as you physically could,

you have as much documentary
evidence of this.

- I fucking hate paperwork.

- You've got a photograph
in situ of the piece,

to get as many
letters of provenance

or anything of history
surrounding the piece itself.

- It's a litany
of little details

that build the bigger picture.

- When did I, when
did I nick it,

1st of April, right, dimensions,

how big is the fucking statue?

It's clever, you see, what's
the purchase price of that,

if you don't fill that
in, you can't send it off.

These are the things, the
fucking work these, these.

- They exist only in the ether,

there is no tangible address
Andy could truck up there

with his sculpture.

- Fucking.

- So good luck to him.

- Please be aware

that because many
Banksy pieces are created

in an advanced state
of intoxication,

the authentication process can
be lengthy and challenging.

- If Banksy won't
give you provenance,

I can't sell it.

My provenance is in the front
cover of the fucking Guardian,

it's all down in
black and white,

how could he say
it is, one minute,

and then say it isn't, the next?

- If you ignore
him, he'll go away,

but like Link, he
won't, will he,

that's the thing,
he's just relentless.

- I'm
currently unavailable,

please leave your message

and I'll get back
to you, thanks, bye.

- Please leave your
message after the tone.

To re-record your
message, key hash anytime.

- Hi, Laz, come on,
don't be full of shit.

You know, you don't
blank me fucking calls,

what's wrong, don't
you want to talk to me?

I can't understand
that, I'm very polite,

very pleasant with
you, and you know,

I've rung you on a
decent fucking chat,

for a chat, this is bollocks,

and it's fucking rude, as well.

- I don't know if AK-47's
deal with Pest Control,

but you can imagine, that's
like a match made in heaven,

'cause they'll just piss each
other off to kingdom come.

- Now this is as rare as
fucking rocking horse shit.

Hello?

- Hello,
hello, did you ring?

- Yeah, hello,
oh, is that Holly?

- Yeah.

- Hi, this is Andy Link here.

- Is who, sorry?

- Andy Link?

AK-47.

- Oh, okay.

- Um, just wondered if
we could get some sort

of chat about this, about
The Drinker and everything,

and discussions
about it, you know,

it's been, this has been
going on for too long,

and it's too, he, it's,
it's, it's not nasty,

he's never been nasty, but
it's seeming now like it's,

you're spiraling
sillily out of control,

and this can all be done in a
really nice way for everybody,

so what do you think,
what do you think, Holly?

- Pest Control
will not authenticate

street works, do not steal
them, they are worthless.

- But I've got more
chances of knitting fog

than getting
provenance for that.

- So you're gonna have
to, to market this,

it's gonna have to be a slightly
more surprising surprise,

a maverick kind of enterprise.

- You've got to put value on
it through telling the story.

- We're ,
it's Banksy's Dismal,

what is it, Dismaland,
we've got The Drinker

on the back lot, there
he is, he's sat there

and having a nice
journey, I want to show

so people can see that
The Drinker is real.

The , they won't
give us any fucking joy,

so if they won't answer us,
if they mountain won't go

to Mohammad, well,
we'll take Mohammad

to wherever he wants
to fucking go.

Love me or hate me, you
will never, ever ignore me.

I had people all
around the world

and all around this
country all going out

with traffic cones
and just putting them

on statues, as
with my logo on it.

We got people in
Tehran, Australia,

Columbia, fucking strange
places like

and God knows where.

He has risen, resurrection
of The Drinker.

Ready or not, there we
are, look at the queue.

It was about getting
there, making your point,

let 'em know you'd beat,
let 'em know you'd beat.

It's a beautiful restoration,
you can't tell the difference.

We unveiled that in the street

and say, "It's The
Drinker, it's back,"

his fans will love it.

- It's a Banksy!

- It's around in
the truck, yeah.

All this, and all
this running around,

and now the moment is now.

The moment's gone.

Where are you?

And they just drove off and went

to a fucking cafe
and got some dinner.

Well, I'm about,
fucking, the whole point

of this fucking thing
is to bring the truck,

and drive the truck up and down,

what's it doing parked
around the corner

where no one can see it?

Well, what the fucking
point of coming down here

if you don't want to
fucking drive it round?

We spent six hours in a
bastard van, for what?

If everyone won't do it, I'll
just do it me fucking self,

it's only me who gets
things fucking done,

leave any control with
anybody and it just fucks up.

Yeah, I'm not fucking
happy, I'm fucking furious.

- He's definitely
got a bug up his ass.

I mean, I would rather do
other things with my time,

it's like a big, wide world,

where you can do an
awful lot of stuff.

The insult that AK-47
feels is not felt

on the other side,
so somebody's going,

"What's, what's all this about?"

- Andy's not gonna draw him out,

even Andy, with a
good dose of Andy,

is not gonna draw out Banksy.

- I don't want this to come
across in a negative way,

you know, but I don't think
nobody cares, nobody cares.

- You've got to
give this up, mate,

this endless obsession
with this work of art,

'cause it means
fuck all to nobody.

- That was the only part
of the plan left, then,

that was the last
bastion of hope.

It's been a very
emotional journey,

it's been an 11 year
project, but you've got

to know when to get out.

It's time to, you know, move on.

- Well, suddenly
he's just over it,

and he sees the light.

- Andy never thinks
like any other person,

he's really willing to
put himself out there.

- Well, this morning,
chaps, I'm going

to show you the next level,

this is the end game, we have
to get this fucking right.

An artist thinks
outside the box,

I threw the box away, I didn't
even know the box were there.

On the day you will get
messages via our secret system,

all it will you tell
you is time and place,

it will give you
coordinates and times.

What is the one thing Banksy
would not expect me to do?

We will load it onto the
back of a flatbed truck,

which, Matthew, you
will be in charge of,

Mr. Ratatata, your job is
to get it on and bolt it,

we will take a route to
exactly where we stole it,

acquired it from,
acquired it, right.

We're going to return
it to its original spot.

Right, come on, come on
with that fucking ladder,

useless maggot,
look at me, come on.

- All right, five seconds up.

- We have to make it
look like it were a slick move

and we have to be all a flow.

Come on, come on,
come on, let's fast,

move, move, move,
move, move, come on,

eleven seconds rounding,
nice one, position.

Get it in, get it up,
and get the fuck out.

Up, up, and then 20
seconds out, I see.

I've got, I've got the
cone, you find the hole.

- That was 40 seconds, we need

to shave another 10 seconds
off it, start again.

- This is my only chance,
I've got to make this work.

Now, due to the
political climate,

it's going to make it
hotter than fucking hell.

- Why don't we go
dressed as Santa Claus

and his little helpers, tinsel
doesn't attract terrorists.

- A one, two,
three, lift, lift, come on.

- Fucking hell,
must I do it on me own?

- Don't wreck the corner.

- I was the get-there driver.

Easy, tiger.

We practiced putting the thing
on and off the lorry once,

and now two.

- Fucking.

- We don't
bother tying it down,

'cause that'll do.

And then hey-ho, off we go.

The artist AK was,
how can I put this,

stressed to the max.

- I want to try
not to get stressed

and shout at you both, but
I'm just down to the wire,

well, it is for me,
, Matthew.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Please don't snarl
back at me, just--

- Fuck off.

- Yeah, you know.

Yeah, no, 'cause you know,
you know what I'm like,

Matt, you know I get
stressed and stuff, so.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- We know you've thrown
a dolly at a pram, mate.

- I just get, the pressure
fucking gets to me

when it's somethin' like this.

We're gonna take, we're
gonna go straight down it,

we're gonna, Essex road.

And I was stressed, man,
I was very stressed.

Are you still with it?

It were all on me,
when it came on top,

I were the fucking front man.

- Who got me
fucking radios?

- I had to get this right,
this was the one thing

that I had to do right.

♪ We're on the
march with AK's army ♪

♪ We're off to dump a
Banksy on the street ♪

♪ And we'll really
shake him up ♪

♪ 'Cause we do not give a fuck

♪ 'Cause AK's going to
give the world a treat ♪

♪ We're on the march
with Banksy's army ♪

That is lovely, lots of people.

There you go, have a look
at a Banksy, it's a Banksy!

Oh, fucking hell,
fucking hell, Matt.

We pulled up beside a road,
knocked a big fucking sign over,

with Art Qaeda, nothing
is a simple journey.

- The back
of the gallery faces
Shaftesbury Avenue.

- We are now proceeding
to base camp,

it's a go, go, go, go,
go, we're on his way.

- We're on his way,
we're on our way.

- We noticed a truck
coming down the road

with a statue on it
that looked familiar.

- We're here, we
need that car moving now,

move that car!

- We watched these workers
dressed as Santa elves,

they all worked very quickly,

with military
precision, actually.

- Jump out, jump out,
jump out, will you.

- We've got it,

up and over.

- Me 'motions were
all over the place,

is this the end, is
this the beginning,

what is it, I didn't know.

- Oh, but we've got
to get it straight,

okay, let's get him straight.

- I told you to fuck away.

Up.

- Okay.

- Up, up,
come on, come on, up.

- Okay, get off the back there.

- As soon as I put
the statue there,

it was like, ,
yes, thank fuck.

Nobody's ever stolen a Banksy,

then given it back.

- You took it, it got
nicked, you made it again,

you took it back, yeah,
it's kind of cool,

and then the statue's where
it was in the first place.

- There's more.

- There's always more.

- This is the
Banksy, The Drinker,

now this is AK-47's version.

What I thought I'd
do is, I thought,

I'd give it back, but
give it back with a twist.

- Up, up.

- Up.

- Up.

- From The Thinker to
The Drinker to The Stinker.

- From The Thinker to The
Drinker to The Stinker,

I despair.

- What do I think of AK-47's
sticking a toilet seat

to The Thinker, I mean, yes,
his ethos is taking the piss,

but I think you're
really taking the piss.

- I was very emotional,
I could have cried.

It's not about Banksy, now
it's about my work and me,

and what I've done.

Merry Christmas.

Come on, now, let's get
out of here, see you later!

- He wanted to make a statement

that was large enough and had
physical impact, and he did.

- The Stinker has
value to the thousands

of people who see it every day,

and they have no idea
of the story behind it.

- Andy's a great entertainer,
and he's an original.

Perhaps one day, you know,
Banksy will get over his sense

of humor failure and,
and maybe applaud him.

- We noticed that
someone had taken an ax,

put it over the
handle of the cistern.

We've heard some
rumors on the street

that the ax might have been
burying of the hatchet.

- Well, that's a
lovely thought to think

that the hatchet were
buried, the war is over,

I'm calling a truce,
fait accompli.