The Assassination Bureau (1969) - full transcript

( upbeat piano theme playing )

WOMAN:
One cannot deny,
I suppose,

that murder has
its uses in society.

But I must say
that in the past,

it has been pursued with more
enthusiasm than accuracy.

Explosive devices
certainly went off,

but usually in
the wrong place...

at the right time,

or the right place
at the wrong time.

Quite suddenly, however,

all this inefficiency
became a thing of the past.



Murders began to be committed

with a sort
of unholy precision.

( gunshot)

A comprehensive service
was now being offered by

the Assassination Bureau...

Limited.

( majestic theme playing )

( muted)

( yells)

SONYA:
This is from
your own paper, two weeks ago.

There is only one common factor
in all these killings:

ruthless efficiency.

No social or political bias,
just murder as a fine art.

ASSISTANT:
"Mesopotamia"?



EDITOR:
What the devil does that mean?

Personal Column
of The Times,

three weeks before
Alderman J.T. Langer

was blown up
by an exploding casket.

Berliner Morgenpost, two weeks
before Count von Kissen

fell down the lift shaft
at the Adlon Hotel.

ASSISTANT: Our own paper.
Good heavens.

One week before the affair
of the exploding Bible.

I believe this is how
prospective clients

contact this organization.

Employ me, and you
can have my story.

ASSISTANT:
But that's our paper again.

And we'll soon find out who
placed it. Get on to Small Ads!

Pray, don't bother.
I know who placed it.

Who?
I did.

The advertisement
has been answered,

my name and address supplied.

I expect them to get in touch
with me at any moment.

BOSTWICK: Splendid. Splendid!
My lord.

You certainly are the New Woman
incarnate, Miss Winter.

I slipped in unobserved

I thought Miss Winter
would talk more freely.

I always talk freely.
Who are you?

This is Lord Bostwick,
the owner of our newspaper.

Oh, how do you do?

The newspaper business is
a male preserve, Miss Winter.

If you are plotting
to breach the citadel,

it should be done in privacy.
Please, come with me.

Sit down.
Sit down.

Put you to work
in this office with them,

and they'd all
walk out in a body.

But they'd leap at the chance
to take you out to dinner.

Why should they ask
me out to dinner?

Because you are a very
attractive-looking young woman.

There can be
no sexual equality

whilst women exploit
their physical appearance.

I rigidly avoid it.

Yes, well, uh,

this lift will take us
to my office.

Allow me to offer you
a little reviver.

Oh, I touch no spirituous
liquor, Lord Bostwick.

I should hope not.

This is a fine Madeira.

I have
a partiality for it,

just as I have
for adventurous young women.

What, then, is your reaction
to my proposal?

That this newspaper
should support you

to the full extent of its
not inconsiderable resources.

It is truly wonderful
to find someone as

liberal as yourself

in a position
of power and authority.

Yes, indeed.
It's not at all common.

My newspapers, you know,
are only a means to an end.

I have a genuine concern

for the political welfare
of the world.

You'd be astonished
if I told you

of the courts in Europe
where I wield power.

Behind the thrones, of course.
I am a retiring man.

It will be an honor
to work for you.

I would just like to keep it
a secret between ourselves.

Why?
Because, Miss Winter,

if there is anything
in what you say,

then I would be a marked man
for supporting you.

I see.

You'll have to be satisfied,
Miss Winter

with the thin end
of the wedge.

Very well.

I want your employment, and need
your resources behind me.

In that case,
perhaps you ought to sit down

and tell me a little bit
about your plan.

I must admit that one
thing intrigues me.

And what is that?
Apart from your natural desire

to prove women's
equality with men,

what is your
object in contacting

these organized assassins?

Surely that's obvious.

I want someone assassinated.

( mellow ragtime theme playing )

Ah! Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's all right, lady.
I'm used to it.

Take your matches.
Oh, it doesn't matter.

I've lost me eyes, lady,
but I've still got my pride.

Yes, of course.

"Mr. Pemberty's bowler."

( clock chimes)

( woman singing indistinctly
in distance)

( doorbell dings)

( patrons chattering,
then stop)

Pardon me, madam.
Are you being attended to?

No. I've come to collect
Mr. Pemberty's bowler.

Mr. Pemberty's?
Yes.

Very hard-wearing felt, madam,

from Mesopotamia.

I am sure Mr. Pemberty
will be pleased with it.

Oh, I'm sure he will.

If you would care to take it,
we will deliver it for you.

This way, madam.

Just through here,
madam.

I must apologize for the
lack of amenities, madam,

but we don't usually cater
for lady customers.

However, the journey
will not take long.

( hoofbeats)

( suspenseful theme playing )

DRIVER:
Whoa.

Back. Back.

Whoa.

BUTLER:
This way, madam.

These cloak-and-dagger
precautions

are an unfortunate
necessity.

We try and keep them
to a minimum.

( mysterious theme playing )

( laughing)

Forgive me. A little test
for our customers.

We're not used
to dealing with ladies.

Evidently.
An interesting reaction.

Men come here on the most
gruesome business,

yet without exception

they are frightened
out of their wits

by the first whiff
of gunpowder.

You seem to be made
of sterner stuff.

Will you please be seated?

Miss Winter,
you are not married.

You have, as far as
we can ascertain,

no romantic associations.

Whom, other than
a husband or lover,

could a young lady
wish to kill?

You seem to know
a great deal about me.

Naturally, or you
would not be here.

On my part, at least may I know
whom I am addressing?

Certainly.
I am Ivan Dragomiloff.

Oh, don't be put off
by the name.

My father's Russian
sentimentality

has been amply counteracted
by the rigors

of an English public school
education.

Are you head
of this organization?

Certainly.
You look extremely young.

Oh, don't let that worry you.
I was born and bred for the job.

But that's terrible.

There's nothing
terrible about it.

My father brought me up
to continue his life work.

What could be more natural
than for a son

to inherit
the family business.

Business?
You're a gang of murderers.

Our proper title is the
Assassination Bureau, Limited.

Our dividends
are quite substantial.

Dividends? You admit
you take human life for money.

Money is life,
don't you agree?

The lack of it
has killed more people

one way or another than
100 Assassination Bureaus.

In any case,

Human life is possibly the most
expendable commodity we possess.

It's so easily replaced,
and so pleasurably.

( clock chimes)

This is fantastic.
You're a monster.

Not at all.

My father merely saw
to it that I was educated

in the logic
of my profession.

He was somewhat
of a philosopher.

I'm not really
interested in your father.

May we get down to business?

Certainly.
Please be seated.

Very well, then.
What about your fees?

Oh, we have a sliding scale,

according to the importance
of the victim.

Quality is always
worth paying for.

We have very high
overheads, you know?

Since taking over,
I have tried

to completely modernize
our methods.

This, after all, is
the age of science.

Take, for instance,
this little bomb.

We've just issued it
to all our branches.

It can be timed to go off
at any hour one chooses.

And its tick is no louder
than a normal clock.

Switched off, it's as harmless
as your pocket watch...

unless you drop it,
of course.

Miss Winter,
please don't be shy.

Confide in me as you would
in a doctor or a priest.

Whom do you wish to kill?

You will undertake this
assignment, Mr. Dragomiloff?

I shall want
justification.

Of what sins
is he guilty?

Pride.

Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Avarice.

Oh, dear, dear.

And murder.

He seems
a suitable candidate.

Have I your guarantee
that he will be killed?

You have my word.

The name, please.

Very well, then.
His name is...

Ivan Dragomiloff.

I shall need further
identification.

He is of Russian extraction,
though educated in England.

Physical characteristics?

Approximately your size,
weight and age.

I was born
in the province of Valenko.

Where was your man born?

In the province
of Valenko.

I am compelled to believe
that you mean me.

I do.

You puzzle me,
Miss Winter.

We've never met, yet you
want my life. Why?

Why?

Because of my organization?

Because you believe
"kill me, kill my bureau."

Is that it? Is that it?!

What an absolutely
marvelous idea.

It was not intended
to amuse you.

Ah, but it does.
It intrigues me too.

It will let me put my aging
colleagues on their mettle.

Wonderful.

Since you'll enjoy it so much,

perhaps you'd give me
a bargain price?

Ah, there's one matter upon
which my board never compromise,

on finance.

Without self-flattery, I'm
afraid, you'll never afford me.

Name your price.

Well, I'm not my father,
of course,

but in all due honesty
I couldn't put myself

in at a penny less than...

20,000 pounds.

What a pity.
I accept.

You do?

You will no doubt
wish to count it.

But you will find
each bundle

contains
a thousand pounds.

I trust your board
will be quite satisfied.

Good evening, gentlemen.
ALL: Good evening.

Popescu, good job in Zagreb.
Thank you.

Gentlemen.

General von Pinck. Military life
certainly keeps you fit, sir.

Lucoville, welcome to London.
You too, my dear Weiss.

Ah, Cesare,
you're putting on weight.

Food is the greatest
pleasure in my life.

Greatest?
They tell me your wife

is the most beautiful
woman in Venice.

She is also
the best cook.

And now, gentlemen,
to business, please.

( dramatic theme playing )

( pounds gavel)

IVAN:
It is fortunate that you're all
in London for this meeting.

Something has come up
which has...

How shall I put it?

Crystallized thoughts I've had
for some time past.

Look around you
at the great deeds

recorded on these walls,
gentlemen,

each one of them performed
in the course

of bettering the world,

purging it of evil,

striking down tyranny.

In those days,
you were all ruled

by my father's basic
principle that our bureau

would never kill anyone

without a sound moral
reason for doing so.

He was a saintly man.

( men agree, rap table)

Do you still adhere
to his principles?

( men agree)

Consider a moment.
Be honest with yourselves.

Haven't we,
in the pursuit of profit,

fallen short
of the high moral standards

upon which
our bureau was founded?

It's always possible
to find a good moral reason

for killing anybody.

Everybody, from some point
of view, deserves death.

Man is born to die.

No operation that
consistently shows a profit

can do so without answering
a legitimate demand.

( men agree, rap table)

Say that we are justified
by the prosperity

our operations
have brought us all.

You, Lucoville,
with your string of hotels.

You, general, with your
estates and castles.

You, Weiss, with your
Swiss banking syndicates,

and you Spado, with your
fake antiques. And you...

Oh, dear, we seem to have
started our meeting

without our vice chairman.

Does anybody know...?

Lord Bostwick, my apologies.
We started without you.

Forgive me.

A fallen horse in Piccadilly
caused a terrible congestion.

How the traffic will flow
when it is all motorized.

Please, proceed,
Mr. Chairman.

Thank you, my lord.

I wish to put
a commission before you.

It is an assignment
I welcome

and have accepted
on your behalf.

To the commission
of Miss Sonya Winter

for the fee
of 20,000 pounds,

the assassination
of Ivan Dragomiloff,

your chairman.

( men argue and object
indistinctly)

Miss Winter has put into my
hands the very weapon I need.

With all respect, I no longer
see in you the idealism

without which we are no more
than common murderers.

Murderers!
We are assassins!

I aim to put you
to the test.

I believe Miss Winter
has shown us

the way to rekindle the torch
we once held so high.

MAN:
We won't stand for it.

( men argue and object
indistinctly)

It's really quite simple.

Under our constitution
we each have the right

to accept commissions
on behalf of all.

I have accepted this one.

But what
does it mean?

It means, my friends,

that you must kill me,

or I will kill you.

Kill us?

Yes, gentlemen,
kill you.

Not to put
too fine a point on it,

I consider you
all expendable.

Taking the honorable course,
I challenge you to this duel.

Yes, but supposing,
my dear young friend,

that we succeed
in killing you?

Then you, Lord Bostwick,

whom I hereby appoint
as neutral referee

in this most purifying game,
will, as vice chairman,

take over my position,

pending the election
of my successor.

I repeat, gentlemen.

The commission
has been accepted.

We must now settle a moment

to begin
this little adventure.

We must give you time to return
to your territories.

Some of your journeys
will be longer than others.

Let us say that
24 hours from now

we shall be considered
at hazard.

Lord Bostwick, we'd better
synchronize our watches.

7:30.

Gentlemen, 24 hours from
the striking of this gavel,

we shall be at hazard.

From tomorrow then,
at precisely 7:30 p.m.

( yells)

( dramatic theme playing )

( rings bell)

Hardly the act
of a gentleman.

But one should always
applaud initiative.

Good night to you, gentlemen,
and good luck.

We must go after him.

This ridiculous nonsense
must be stopped.

The motion
has been accepted.

Discipline
must be observed.

Why should we accept it?

We've given our lives
for the Bureau.

Not yet.

Gentlemen,

it's not a moneymaking
proposition.

Gentlemen!

As acting chairman,
I call you to order.

Gentlemen,
we have all been very loyal

to the memory
of our dear founder,

but let us be honest
with ourselves.

I think we have
all felt that seniority

should have counted
for something

when the succession
was decided.

He should not have
come in at the top.

His father
trained the boy well.

Of course.

Of course, please do not
misunderstand me, gentlemen.

I'm merely suggesting that
it is in everybody's interest

to go along with our young
chairman's sporting proposition.

In fact, I feel it is
my duty as referee

to stimulate
your enthusiasm.

In addition
to Miss Winter's fee,

I offer a prize
of 10,000 pounds

to whichever member accomplishes
her commission.

A very sporting gesture,
my lord.

No, no, no, no.

Our young chairman deserves
all the credit.

He conceived
this great adventure.

He is certainly
a sportsman.

( fanfare music plays
in distance)

( chattering)

NURSEMAID:
Isn't he handsome.

Really.

Ah, good morning.

Shall we take a little walk
in the park, Miss Winter?

Mr. Dragomiloff.

Oh, forgive the disguise.

Thanks to you,
I'm a marked man.

My bureau accepted
your commission.

Oh.

Well, really.

The Albert Memorial?

It was an agreed rendezvous.

It was glorious in
the park this morning.

Well, when are you leaving?

Leaving?

Miss Winter,
have you forgotten so soon

that you're a journalist?

What more can I do?
Follow Dragomiloff.

Report on his execution.

It's the greatest story of the
decade, and covered by a woman.

Isn't that what you wanted?
Of course.

My secretary will take care
of everything. Money, tickets--

But I suppose you don't
know where he'll go.

Well, he did tell me quite
a lot about the Bureau,

where it operates
and everything.

We walked by the Serpentine.

Miss Winter,

you do want to go
on with the story?

I've invested a lot
of money in it remember.

Oh, most certainly.

I shall have the greatest
pleasure in reporting his--

Whatever happens to him.
Splendid.

Now, remember, you are
to wire me personally

about all
of his movements.

Now, to where shall
we buy you a ticket?

To Paris.

( cancan theme playing )

MADAME LUCOVILLE:
Shocking.

Disgusting.

It's disgraceful.
It's a scandal.

Oh! It's an outrage.

What has happened
to my Paris?

It has become
a sink of iniquity.

A sewer.
A den of vice.

The tourists expect it,
my dear.

Oh, nonsense!

The whole civilized world
is shocked by it.

Nobody knows that
better than you, Henri.

Oh, yes, my dear.

You are one of the few
senators of the republic

who have dared
to stand out against evil.

I suppose
it was my duty.

Oh, I respect you for it.

Though sometimes I must confess,

I fear for you.
Fear for me?

To oppose this
underworld of vice

may endanger your very life.

Well, it was your idea.

Somebody had to speak out.
As I've always said,

if you want something done,
you must do it yourself.

Well, my dear, I must be
off to the senate.

We've a sitting that may
go on most of the night.

The women of France
will never forget

what you're doing
for them, Henri.

I hope not.
Good night.

( lively cancan music
playing in distance)

Anything to report?

There's not
a sign of him, Monsieur.

Everyone has been
shown his photograph.

Watch carefully.
He's a devil.

( women cooing and chattering)

( band playing
sultry cancan music )

Good evening,
Monsieur Lucoville.

Good evening,
Madame Otero.

How is business?
Up a little on last week.

Uh-huh. And how is the new
cheap champagne going?

We serve it after midnight,

we charge the same price,
and nobody notices.

Excellent.

You have been warned
to look out for a certain man.

I have his picture here.

He will not pass.
Excellent.

I am informed that one
may find here

the most suitable
arrangements for the night.

Monsieur le Comte de...

Certainly, Your Excellency.

We shall arrange for you
something special.

Good evening.

Just one moment.

My dear count, it's a pleasure
to welcome you to our house.

Well, madame, I am incognito.
But of course.

You will be one of our
best-known unknown visitors.

This way.

Phillippe, champagne
in the Swan Room at once.

( woman speaks French)

Absolutely hopeless.
This one has knock-knees

and this one has
the most frightful

hangdog look about her.

And as for this one,

I seem to remember her at least
five years ago in le Sphinx.

( gasps)

I demand something different,
something fresh.

But Your Excellency has seen

the most beautiful girls
in the house!

Damn it! Damn it!
I demand to see the director.

But he does not concern himself
with the customers, Excellency.

He will concern himself
with me, madame.

You tell Monsieur Lucoville
to come here now!

And get these miserable
creatures out of here!

Of course, Excellency.
Spank to your pleasure,

Your Excellency,
Your Honor.

Oh! Allez, vite!

Good evening. I was recommended
to you by Lord Bostwick.

Lord Bostwick? Yes,
he's a very old customer.

He knows we like to cater
for the English taste.

Nothing I can do will
please the gentleman.

Nothing you can do.
I don't wonder.

Let someone else try.

Surely this is a place
of assignation?

It is certainly
not a convent.

Just stay here.
I'll tell madame.

How very interesting.

I must make some notes.

The count wants
something different.

Excuse me.
There is a new girl.

No, not now.

That's the most exciting
creature in the place!

But she looks
completely innocent.

Yes, exactly.

( chuckles)

I am the patron,
mademoiselle.

How do you do?

Come this way,
please.

I wonder if I might ask
you one or two questions.

Don't worry, chérie,

he doesn't want
anyone experienced.

Entrez.

Your Excellency,
it is an honor to meet you.

I have found you
something entirely fresh.

What delightful surprises you
have up your sleeve, patron.

In there. In there.

For the exceptional customer,
there is always something--

How shall I say...

special.

Special, yes. The room is to
your satisfaction, Excellency?

They have sent
you champagne.

It's on the house,
of course.

Oui, oui,
oui, oui.

Where is that girl?

Where are you?

Tell me. Are all the rooms
decorated in this fashion?

What are you doing,
girl?

The count doesn't want
to be kept waiting.

Get your clothes off.

( grunts)

( dramatic theme playing )

Dear, dear chairman,
is this fair?

I am unarmed.

Of course.

You see, you're slack
as well as degenerate.

I really must apologize...

It's you.

Pierre. Gaston.
In there.

What's a girl like you doing
in a place like this?

I thought it was a hotel.
LUCOVILLE: Break down the door.

Let's get out of the window.
You stay here.

You can't leave me
in a place like this.

Your bed, Miss Winter.
You lie on it.

LUCOVILLE:
Shoot off the lock.

All right.
Come on.

Let's cut through here.

( cancan theme playing )

No, perhaps not.

( gunshots)

( women screaming in distance)

It's a raid. It's a raid.
It's a raid.

My God, it's a raid!
A raid, patron.

Don't panic, gentlemen!

CLIENT:
What's the meaning
of this intrusion?

A madman has seized one
of my girls against her will.

Impossible.
LUCOVILLE: Carry on, gentlemen!

The emergency will
soon be over.

Jacques, champagne
on the house for our guests!

Search the whole place!

Oh, Mallon, my dear fellow,

how nice to see you.
Au revoir.

We must go in
somewhere.

I begin to suspect
you're protecting my virtue.

I'm afraid it will
now have to look after itself.

You're too beautiful,
chérie.

I dare not look at you.

No! No!
I can wait no longer!

( screams)

( cries)

Quick!
The stairs.

( women screaming)

No!
Don't shoot the customers!

( frantic theme playing )

( whistle blows )

( all grunting )

In there, patron.

Now we have him trapped.
Shoot the lock.

It's no use, patron.
He's bolted the door.

( groans)

Very well. We'll smoke him out.

You've got us
into a pretty pickle.

I have?

You're not here
at my invitation.

Well,
how do we get out?

All problems are capable
of solution.

Keep your guns ready.

( hissing)

Gas.

A laundry chute.

I told you there's
always a solution.

It is exceedingly
small.

Fortunately,
I am not too fat,

and you are
positively skinny.

Skinny.
Come along.

We've got a little while. Get on
the floor, please, Miss Winter.

I beg your pardon!
Gas.

It's lighter than air,
you see.

It will fill the room
from the ceiling...

downwards.

It won't take long.
Long enough.

By the way,
this commodious bag of yours

wouldn't by any chance
contain such a thing

as a first-aid kit, would it?

( car horn honks)

Do not arrest anyone wearing
the Légion d'Honneur!

Surely you do not
wish to harm

that innocent
young lady.

Come out
and face the music.

When they burst
the door open,

they'll strike
these matches alight.

The room will
become a bomb.

Now, Miss Winter--
Yes.

I thought I told you
to keep close to the floor!

Yes, I will...

Miss Winter?

Monsieur Inspector,
we have nothing to hide.

I assure you that this is
a perfectly respectable hotel.

En avant!

( all clamoring)

LUCOVILLE:
Now, open the door, Ivan.

We might even
make a bargain.

If I was to become
vice chairman...

( taking shallow breaths)

He's drawing the bolts!

I knew you'd
see reason, Ivan.

I can't
manage the lock.

It's-- It's the gas!
The gas!

We'll have
to break in.

Quick, quick!
Break open the door!

( women yelling)

No, no, no!
Out of the way!

I always say,
if you want something done,

you've got to do it yourself.

Stand back!
Champagne on the house!

( rumbling)

( soft theme playing )

( women screaming )

Come on, you.
No use hiding in here.

Been at the bottle,
have you?

Put her in the wagon
with the others.

( fire engine bells rings)

( crowd clamoring )

( women screaming)

Let me go, please!
Let me go!

I am a British citizen!

I demand to see
the British ambassador!

( train whistle blows)

( train whistle blows )

Good morning.
Good God.

May I come in?

Thanks to those
ridiculous policemen,

I nearly missed the train.

I thought I'd given
you the slip.

Thank you, it was
most considerate.

There was a first-class ticket
to Zurich in the pocket.

An oversight.

Miss Winter, our rules do not
allow our clients to supervise

the execution
of their commissions.

Oh, I'm not doing that.

I'm just covering the story
in the course of my profession.

Our records didn't disclose
you were a journalist.

Well, this is
my first assignment.

May I ask, for which newspaper
you are writing?

For the Daily--

For the Daily Press,
at large.

Women are not yet accepted
in the journalistic profession.

But when I have this story,
anyone will employ me.

It will strike
a great blow for women.

Well, Miss Winter...

if anybody is to write the story
of this epic adventure,

it is only right
that it should be you.

Oh, thank you.

And since you're
to be my constant shadow,

I suppose
I'd better feed you.

Shall we adjourn
to the dining car for luncheon?

( train whistle blows)

But how can I accept
your point of view?

To take life is
the ultimate wrong.

It's basic to all
civilized ethics.

Really,
Miss Winters.

You accept, I suppose,
the gallows,

the guillotine
and the gas chamber.

And not to mention
the field of battle.

Brandy?

No, thank you.
I never touch spirits.

Pity.
Taken in moderation,

it can greatly clarify
the mind.

Thank you.
My mind is perfectly clear

on one topic
that concerns us:

All killing is wrong.

And yet you
commissioned mine.

That was quite different.

You don't go into
a butcher to buy a steak

and question his morality
in killing the cow.

Really, you're impossible.
I shall return to my carriage.

Shall I accompany you?
No, thank you.

I'm sure you are the one
in need of the brandy.

Cognac, monsieur?
Please.

Thank you.

Excellent, an '88.
Anything further, sir?

Just a cigar, thank you.
A cigar.

That'll be all,
thank you.

Not quite all, Ivan.

Popescu?

What a marvelous makeup.

You know, these new
Leichner waxes are fantastic!

Thank you, Ivan.

And now there is much
sadness in the world,

and there must be a little more.

Won't you at least permit me
to finish my brandy and cigar?

The drink certainly,
the cigar will take too long.

The kitchen staff won't stay
locked in the galley forever.

While you were enjoying
yourself in Paris, Ivan,

I was preparing this operation.

You will admit it has
the merit of surprise.

( screams)

( train whistle blows)

( dramatic theme playing )

What's this?

"Popescu...
Romanian businessman...

"falls from Paris-Zurich
express." Et cetera...

"Burns on body"?

What did that young devil
do to him?

The toast is
absent friends.

Lucoville was a fool.

Any business with women
is bad business.

But Popescu
will be a great loss.

Does your agent report
where our chairman is now?

Not yet. But she is
a very able young woman,

and I'm sure that we shall
hear something quite soon.

That idiot in Liechtenstein!

His talent lay
in company fraud.

Certainly not in
handling explosives.

Things are not going well,
Muntzov.

I want this matter
finished quickly.

Political tension
is growing in Europe.

The Bureau
is the instrument I need.

Weiss understands
the value of money.

I'm sure we can rely on
Swiss efficiency in Zurich.

Suspect everyone!

Do you understand?
Everyone.

The man is a master
of disguises.

Better to be safe
than sorry.

If we spot him, what do we do?
I told you.

Ring the bell to my office.
But on no account

wink an eyelid even.

Otherwise,
you are a dead man.

Right. Go to your places,
everyone!

Open the doors!

( suspenseful theme playing )

Is this where
they keep the money?

Well, yes,
mein Herr.

What...?
What did you require?

The mountains are full
of thieves. Nothing is safe.

Bad luck, Ivan!

You don't fool me
with this, my boy.

In Switzerland
we are efficient, yes?

What are you doing?
My box! Take care of my box!

The box.

Of course. The box.

Throw it out into the street.
What?

Throw it out
before it goes off.

The game is up, Ivan.

Come back! Come back!
My box! My savings!

Stop it, Ivan.

The game is up.

( yells)

( speaks in German )

Whoa.

I never know
if I can trust you.

My dear, you know
I might be recognized anywhere.

Simply hand it in for the
attention of the director.

That's all.
Very well.

You're a villain.
I beg you...

Thief!
Give me my money.

OLD MAN:
They told me you would look
after my money.

And what do you do?
You throw it in the gutter!

I want my money!
Give it to me!

Excuse me.

Yes, mademoiselle.

I have something
for the director.

What? What? What?
What is it?

Well, she has something
for the director.

Half-wit. Idiot!

My apologies,
mademoiselle.

Take it, man.
Put it in my office!

THUMP:
A terrible misunderstanding,
mein Herr.

Get away!

What are you all standing here
for? Get back to work!

All of you!
Get back to work.

What exactly
was in that case?

Oh, purely technical details.

They belong to our
research department.

We have some very brilliant
scientists working for us.

When they make
some little discovery,

they like to deposit their
secrets in a safe place.

( explosion )

I think they'll be pleased
with the result.

There is no one in the army
to match you, Herr General.

Congratulations, Herr General.

Congratulate the lieutenant.

It is not a disgrace
to be beaten

by the ex-champion
of all Germany.

You will bear the scars
of your general's saber.

Carry them with honor,
lieutenant.

What is the army
coming to?

Take him away
and stitch him up!

A visitor,
Herr General.

Lord Bostwick.

Ah, General, I'm glad you're
keeping your hand in.

I'm on my way from Essen.
Alfred Krupp sends his regards.

Can we talk privately?
Leave us.

You've heard the news
from Zurich?

So much
for the efficient Swiss.

Ja, ja.
Always one must be alert.

And to be alert,
you must be fit.

En garde!

( grunts )

Absent friends.

For heaven's sake,
stop it, Muntzov!

I've a good mind to send you
back to Petrograd.

No, no, we don't want
to risk any more of us.

Well, this fooling
has got to stop.

What good is the Bureau to me
with its best members gone?

The cream still remains.

Prove it, general,
in Vienna.

Our young chairman
is on his way there now.

We have no one in Vienna.
Send someone.

It will be arranged.

To poor Ivan.

Drunken idiot. Young Dragomiloff
is worth ten of you.

What a tragedy that he lacks
the vision to go along with me.

His whole romantic notion
on moral killing is out-of-date.

If only he could realize
that our organization

is the most lethal instrument
of power ever conceived.

The Assassination Bureau
is a political weapon

or it is nothing.

Properly used,
as I can use it,

it could bring down governments,
dynasties and empires.

I could rule
the destiny of Europe.

Great things are afoot.

Sell everything you possess,
my friends,

and buy shares in armaments.

Krupp, Skoda, Vickers-Armstrong.
Take your pick.

Europe is already in ferment!

( dramatic piano theme playing )

( marching band plays
fanfare music)

Good morning, Miss Winter.
Good morning.

You evidently
sleep well in Vienna.

A luxury I appreciate.

Our bureau hasn't
a branch here.

A day off
is a pleasant prospect.

Are you impressed with the
emperor's forces? Thank you.

How ridiculous men are.

All this dressing up
and rattling of sabers.

Who's that barbarous gentleman
taking the salute?

Prince Ferdinand of Ruthenia.
He's Austria's Balkan puppet.

He's here in Vienna
to be impressed

by his master's
military might.

When will we learn
that force is meaningless?

Never. After all, you're
paying to have me killed

because you believe that
you are right and I am wrong.

It's nothing personal.
It's just that...

Oh, my God!

( crowd clamoring )

Die, Ruthenian dogs,
long live Carpathia!

Long live Carpathia!

Thank you,
Miss Winter.

I... I thought...

That the bullet
was meant for me.

Unfortunately,
I have no monopoly

in the assassination
business.

Now, I insist that
you have a brandy.

No, thank you,
I--

Well, you can't deny that
your mind needs clarifying.

You're paying
to have me killed,

yet when you think I might be,
you try to save my life.

A revelation comparable
with Saint Paul's at Tarsus.

Well, surely that calls
for a celebration.

( patrons chattering )

( ballroom waltz music playing)

I'm quite out of breath.

You're a very good dancer.
Of course.

My father liked me
to excel...

in everything.

Your father.
You know something,

I don't think you've
ever really grown up.

I was born old.
Well, maybe that's the trouble.

Now, while we're in Vienna,

there's a certain
Professor Freud...

Don't mention that name.

To meddle
with my basic instincts

would be professional suicide.

That's what
I had in mind.

I like it here.
Good.

You wait till you
taste the blutwurst.

Where's that waiter got to?

Get me his apron.

Put the bomb
inside the sausage.

Quickly, man, and be careful.
Mind the knife!

The slightest touch of metal
will set it off.

PATRONS:
* Drink to the days
The days going by *

* Some day we'll meet again *

* Remember me till then *

* While we're young
While we're young *

* There are songs to be sung *

* And a pledge that's
Warm and gay *

* I promise to
Remember you *

* The way you are today *

* While we're young
While we're young *

* There are songs to be sung *

* And a pledge that's
Warm and gay *

Excellencies.

The Archduke Ferdinand
of Ruthenia

has decided
to pay an impromptu

visit to your establishment.

It is an honor,
Excellency.

His Highness wants
a little relaxation.

Naturally, we were against it,
after this morning's incident.

You will be responsible
for seeing

that everything is in order.

Of course, Excellency.

This is a most
respectable establishment.

I hope not. I told you,
he wanted some relaxation.

Now, leave it to me
and get out!

PATRONS:
* Lift up your glass on high *

* Drink to the days
The days going by *

* Some day we'll meet again *

* Remember me till then *

* While we're young
While we're young *

* There are songs to be sung *

* And a pledge that's
Warm and gay *

* I promise to
Remember you *

* The way you are today *

* While we're young
While we're young *

* There are songs to be sung *

* And a pledge that's
Warm and gay *

* I promise to
Remember you *

* The way you are today *

Ah, the blutwurst.

Here we are, mein Herr,

the riesen blutwurst,

the greatest delicacy
in all Vienna.

The pigs for the blutwurst

are bred here
in our Vienna woods.

They were slaughtered
only this morning.

The blood must be quite fresh.
Yes, yes.

In Vienna we have the best
of everything.

Enjoy yourselves.

PATRONS:
* And drink it down, down
Down, down, down *

* Down, down, down
Down, down *

* Lift up your glass on high *

* Drink to the days
The days gone by *

Waiter!

PATRONS:
* Some day we'll meet again *

* Remember me till then *

* Lift up your glass on high *

Oh, a sausage!
But what did I say?

This is indeed
a place of fun!

Excellency, apologies.
Allow me.

No, no, no.
Put it on the table.

The Blutwurst
is my favorite dish.

Bring me a knife.

Come on!
But why? Why are we going?

You're acting completely
like a lunatic!

It was just
warming up in there.

( bomb explodes)

Evidently.

That poor man.
Archduke Ferdie?

Waste no tears on him.

A petty tyrant,
if ever there was one.

An historic event,
never the less.

You should make
an excellent journalist.

You're always
on the spot.

But that bomb
was meant for you.

Precisely.

I thought you said the Bureau
had no one here in Vienna.

They sent someone.

I wonder how they
knew I was here.

Perhaps you've
been followed.

Indeed. I have,
my dear. By you.

Me?

At Lord Bostwick's command,
no doubt.

How did you know?
He said not to say--

I presume he also
failed to tell you

that he was vice chairman
of our bureau.

Lord Bostwick?

I can't believe it.

Oh, a man of many parts.

He's a villain.

Well, he'll hear
no more from you.

On the contrary. I intend
to keep him fully informed.

You what?

I want to know exactly why
he wants control of the Bureau.

I shall wire him at once
you're on your way to Venice.

BOSTWICK:
My dear man, can't you make
any more of it than this?

There's nothing but facts!

We don't want to inflame
a delicate situation.

Ruthenia and Carpathia
are mere puppets!

Russia and Austria
pull the strings.

So punch in
some big headlines:

"Russia Warns Austria"!
"Austria Warns Russia"!

"The Kaiser Summons
his General Staff"!

Your Lordship, of course, has
private sources of information?

Of course.
So get on with it, man.

We're running a newspaper.
Give them news!

This is a stroke
of luck, Muntzov.

Ferdinand's death is the spark
I needed. Cheer up now.

To a Russian, death
is a serious matter.

Life is no joke,
either.

But time
is running out.

I've got my new members picked.

But I need the Bureau
in my hands now.

We must make sure once
and for all in Venice.

Thank heaven for Cesare Spado.

He has all the skill
of the Borgias.

All my friends
in London tell me

I'm getting a little fat.

I can't resist.

My dearest one! You haven't put
vanilla in the zabaglione!

You know how I dislike it!

Nonsense, Cesare.
Just peel of tangerine.

I prepared it myself.

There's not a drop
of vanilla in it.

I can taste it distinctly.

There is positively no vanilla
in the zabaglione.

Taste it again.

Perhaps you're right.

Eat it up now or I shall be
very offended.

I will not speak to you.

Or let you...

No, no, no.
Eleanora, my angel...

It's delicious.

I tell everyone
your cooking is supreme.

The taste has
quite disappeared.

You've outdone yourself,
my darling.

Eleanora, my dear,
it's just possible that a man

with whom I have some
business connections

may call at the house

I would prefer not to see him.
As you wish.

His name is Dragomiloff,

but he may not
declare himself.

I would like you to describe
carefully anyone who may call.

What a dreadful fuss.

This is our finest view,

the room SignorDragomiloff
always prefers, signora.

You will see
the sun rise up behind

the Santa Maria
della Salute.

It is a sight never
to be forgotten.

A little misunderstanding,
I'm afraid.

I am not a signora
and shall therefore

require a separate room.

Scusi, signorina.
What a pity.

I hope you have another
equally delightful room.

The room, yes, signor.
The view, no.

I have only a room
at the back.

Then the signorina
must have this room.

Oh, no.
No, I insist.

Take my luggage to whatever
room. I'll see you later.

It is a very
delightful room, signor.

I assure, you will
be most comfortable.

I'm sure I will.
Thank you very much indeed.

Well, it seems we have
a married look.

Because you're after
my blood, no doubt.

Don't talk nonsense.
We've got no time to waste.

What on earth are you doing?
One can't be too careful.

My dear friend Spado might have
left me a welcoming present.

( clock chimes in distance)

That's all clear.
Bombs aren't the Italian line.

They prefer
more subtle methods.

Well, the sooner you
talk to him the better.

Isn't it time you left?

Miss Winter.

Since our relationship
became less formal,

I observe a tendency
on your part to nag.

Sometimes you can
be very irritating.

I have been told that.

Now, you stay in this room
until I return, understand?

Absolutely no one is allowed in.

If you wish to sleep,
lock the windows.

The balcony's an easy climb.

And just to be
on the safe side,

I will lock you in
and keep the key.

But this is absurd. If your man,
Spado, is so dangerous,

how can you hope to win
him over to our plan?

Cesare and my father
were very close.

I doubt whether he'd
gone the way of the others

had it not been
for such a demanding wife.

As usual, the woman
gets the blame.

Not without good cause,
I gather.

I'm told that SignoraSpado
has considerable charms

and doesn't hesitate
to use them.

She hasn't your
high principles.

Your self-denial is
really quite remarkable.

A woman's beauty
can be a lethal weapon.

Oh! My God.

My darling,
what can it be?

Is it something
you have eaten?

It's working.

The poison,
it's doing its work.

Poison?

What are you saying,
Cesare?

How could he have managed it?

He? Who are you talking
of, my darling?

The son of
my old friend and comrade.

I had arranged his death,
but he has got me first.

Cesare, you're delirious.

There is so much
I must tell you.

Lie still.
Angelo has gone for a doctor.

You must hear it all.

This business I am in
with this man Dragomiloff,

it is called...

the Assassination Bureau.

This Englishman lord
will pay 10,000 pounds

for this man
Dragomiloff's death?

Pieces of silver.
Pieces of silver.

Many pieces.

Can you forgive me?

It was for you that I did
these dreadful things.

But you are so tender,
so innocent.

What can you know
of assassination?

( gentle Italian theme playing )

ANGELO:
* Life flows along *

* Just like a boat *

* On a river *

* All that I want is to *

* Find a place *

* Safe in the harbor *

* Of love's embrace *

IVAN:
Good evening.

( gasps )

Forgive my entering unannounced.

Who are you?

A friend of your husband.

My husband is away.

Strange.

He knew I was coming.

We had some business
to do together.

You... You haven't
told me your name.

My name is...

Ivan Dragomiloff.

SignorDragomiloff.

I've heard him talk
so often about you.

I feel we are old friends.

Me too.

I have heard much
about you.

Cesare is a...
A lucky man.

May I ask you
where he has gone?

I don't know.

He's just, well,
floating around.

Since you are alone, my presence
might compromise you.

Perhaps I should go.

No, no. We'll have
a glass of wine.

Do sit down.
Thank you.

How much do you know
about his business?

Oh, nothing.

Well, then, you'll hardly
be able to make up

for his absence, will you?

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

Will you think me
very wicked

if I confess to being pleased
that Cesare is away?

I would think you
very flattering.

But surely that's not the reason
why you made away with him.

I what?!

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to startle you.

How dare you accuse me
of such a thing!

Please, let's not have
any melodramatics.

I saw your handsome gondolier
dispose of the body.

Now please sit down.

Perhaps we can come
to some arrangement.

One moment. Angelo,
I must deal with him.

You have a man in--
Shh-shh. Not for long.

Long time, short time,
what is the difference?

Don't be a fool.

He knows. He saw you.
He could destroy us.

Then I will fix him.
I will.

My way.

Go and prepare the gondola,
then wait there.

I will ring when it is done.
It will be quick this time.

You can't prove
your ridiculous accusation.

I hope
I won't have to.

We have plenty of time
to talk it over.

Then let's have
another glass of wine.

Please, close the window.
The night has grown chilly.

Even if what you say
was true,

wouldn't I have been merely
doing your job for you?

I thought you said

you knew nothing about
your husband's business.

Perhaps it is now
my business.

( suspenseful theme playing )

I'm sure that you'll
handle it very capably.

Thank you.

Please draw
the curtains.

It appears we understand
each other very well.

Sit down, please.
Thank you.

I told you I could take
my husband's place.

What a delightful little table,
like a wheel of fortune.

Our fortunes, it seems,

are to be linked.

Shall we drink to that?
I...

I can't drink
to the unknown.

You're not adventurous.

I drink to it.

( servant bell rings)

Bellissima.

Get rid of him.

What a pity.

He was so young.

ANGELO:
* All that I want is to *

* Find a place *

* Safe in the harbor *

* Of love's embrace *

* How sweet-- *

( ticking noise)

( ticking stops )

( ticking continues)

( ticking )

( dripping )

( ticking continues)

Hmm.

( ticking continues )

( suspenseful theme playing )

( ticking )

( grunting)

( dramatic theme playing )

( ticking loudly)

( tense theme playing )

( Sonya gasps )

Fortunately,
I kept wicket for Eton.

Oh, don't worry,
I've turned it off.

It...

It was on the canopy.

Splendid. I knew these new
time bombs would come in useful.

Can't you talk
anything but shop?

I've nearly been killed.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I am sorry.

I'll never
forgive myself.

This room was
meant for me.

I should never
have left you here.

( laughs )

What on earth are you doing
in that ridiculous costume?

Oh. I forgot.

I regret to have
to inform you

that Ivan Dragomiloff
is now dead.

What?

Yes, events took
an unexpected turn.

However, the first part of our
plot has now been achieved.

You mean they think you're dead?
Precisely.

I shall now have
to disappear into hiding.

And the rest, Miss Winter,
is up to you.

Now, that's what I call
a really pretty dress.

Miss Winter.

Miss Winter,
surrender.

Why not?

Surrender
is no defeat...

for a woman.

( romantic
Italian theme playing )

SONYA:
My friend has not
returned to the hotel.

He's been out all night.

I'm desperately afraid he might
have been run over.

In Venice, signorina?

Well, fallen in a canal,
anything.

Please, you must help me.
Of course, signorina.

The name of your friend?
Dragomiloff.

Ivan Dragomiloff.

One moment, signorina.

( whispering indistinctly )

Signorina,I am sorry.

I fear I have
very bad news.

What?

What is it?
Your friend.

There must have
been an accident.

He has been drowned.

His body has been taken
from the canal.

I'll be all right.

There were papers
with his name.

But we would like you
to identify the body,

if you are able.

Very well.

Please come this way,
signorina.

( somber theme playing )

It is...

he.

This way, signorina.

( dramatic theme playing )

It... It... It is him.

Yes, we found papers
on the body.

Was Signor Dragomiloff
a good friend, signora?

He was the best friend
my husband had.

We were very close.

We will save you
any more pain, signora.

I would be very glad if he could
be brought to my palazzo.

It is not fitting that
such a man should lie here.

Whatever the signora
desires.

We salvaged the gondola,
signora.

But alas, there is as yet
no sign of the gondolier.

Poor Angelo.

* Life is a precious thing *

* That we don't know
The value of *

* But you will find when your
Heart learns to sing *

* Life is the thing you love *

* Wait till you fall in love *

* See how it all comes true *

* See how important
The minutes become *

* When there's someone
In love with you *

* For life is
A precious thing *

* That we don't know
The value of *

* But you will find when your
Heart learns to sing *

* Life is the thing you love *

* Life is the thing *

* You love *

Poor Angelo's clothes
fit you perfectly.

A little tight, perhaps,
because you are more muscular.

I prefer that.

Go to the undertakers.

I want this gruesome
thing removed

as soon as my guests
have paid their respects.

Well, come along, Piero.
Get on with it.

I hope you're not going
to take liberties.

Miss Winter?

Miss Winter,
I hardly recognized you.

My hearty congratulations.
Lord Bostwick.

I came as soon as I
received your telegram

announcing Dragomiloff's
death.

May I introduce an associate
of mine, Baron Muntzov.

Well, my dear young lady,

the press has once again
shown itself

to be the conscience
of the nation.

Your story will be syndicated
all over the world.

Come, we will go directly
to Spado's house,

and pay our respects
to the dead.

At Spado's house?

But his body is
at the morgue.

As I so often find,

my information is more
up-to-date than my reporters'.

SignoraSpado's had the coffin
taken to her palazzo.

My lord. My lord.

I've just arrived
from Berlin, the news is grave.

Dragomiloff has gone
just in time.

Miss Winter, may I introduce
General von Pinck.

Collect the luggage, Muntzov
and bring Miss Winter with you.

The general and I
will go on ahead.

We have important
matters to discuss.

VON PINCK:
There's mobilization.
I must return tonight.

Will there be war?

Not yet, the kaiser's proposing
a secret peace conference.

Indeed.

Yeah, he's traveling
to Ruthenia for the funeral,

and that's where
the conference will take place.

They will all be there:
The English king. Czar Nicholas.

The president of France.
The Austrian emperor. The--

Spare me this catalog
of mediocrity.

All this may suit me
very well.

SignoraSpado, my greetings
and congratulations.

My colleague,
General von Pinck.

My husband is away.
I had to act on his behalf.

It's hard to believe
that such a beautiful lady

should succeed where
so many men have failed.

I fell we should invite you
onto the board.

Thank you,
Lord Bostwick.

But I don't think
it is suitable

for an Italian lady to
practice murder professionally.

I will be content
with the reward

you have
so kindly offered.

And you shall have it,
dear lady.

So there he lies.

Poor Ivan.

He was too young
to see the potentialities

of his great inheritance.

Requiescat in pace.

Ivan killed by
a woman, that's droll.

I believe Spado's house
is quite beautiful.

As with so many things,
first impressions are the worst.

PIERO:
This way, signorina.

And so you see,
my dear signora,

this young lady
has served her purpose

and must be disposed of.

Ah, Miss Winter, Muntzov
has been monopolizing you.

SignoraSpado,
this is Miss Winter,

whose commission you executed
on behalf of your husband.

If you'll excuse me, I'll go
and make a room ready

for your discussion.

No, no, no.
This will do splendidly.

The presence
of our ex-chairman

will be a spur
to our deliberations.

You openly admit you are
a member of the Bureau?

A member?

Thanks to you and Signora Spado,
I am now the chairman.

What a good journalist you
would have made, Miss Winter.

You're in at the death
of the old Bureau

and the birth of the new.

Unfortunately, you must
also be its first victim.

( dramatic theme playing )

Dispose of her, Muntzov.

It's time you did
something useful.

This way.

Take her below.
There are steps to the canal.

Don't make any false moves.
I'm a dangerous man.

Go to that wall,
please, Miss Winter.

If you would please face
the wall, my dear.

We Slavs
are so temperamental.

Somehow, I don't feel
like it at all today.

So you're a coward as well
as a murderer.

I don't seem really to care
for killing people anymore.

Keep quite still,
Miss Winter.

It's best to make
a clean job of it.

( grunts)

( footsteps approach )

Ivan.

What on earth?

I'm in mourning.

For your lost principles,
I presume?

You look like you're got up
to seduce an archbishop.

Don't you like it?

Oh, I'm turning
in my grave.

Will you at least get rid
of that preposterous hat.

How dare you!

That's better.

At any rate, you played
your part admirably.

See what results the report
of my death produced.

It nearly produced mine.

It's brought them here,

as I knew it would.

Now we must see whether I can
learn more dead than alive.

But the coffin in the room
upstairs, who's in it?

The man you identified as me,
of course, her gondolier.

BOSTWICK: Muntzov!
Come on.

Muntzov,
where are you?

Where could that
idiot have got to?

He'd be here.

The secret stairs
from my apartments

lead down to that landing.

A girl, even Muntzov
couldn't fail.

He evidently did.

And the girl's hat.

If he killed her, then...

Then who killed him?

I want to see
inside that coffin.

Oh, no.

And why not, signora?
You're not squeamish, surely?

Take off the lid.

Please, Lord Bostwick
don't disturb the dead.

Be silent.

( dramatic theme playing )

( gasps)

BOSTWICK:
Replace the lid.

My apologies, signora.
You've done your job well.

Don't worry, signora.
He can't get away.

General, I will return
with you to Germany.

Where will your
headquarters be?

At my hunting lodge
at Rothenburg.

The peace conference will take
place just across the frontier

in the Castle Minsk.

Very convenient.

I'll summon the Bureau members
to meet us at Rothenburg.

But my staff will be there,
my officers.

Of course,
and they'll be very useful.

So goodbye, Ivan.

You're going to miss
our greatest assignment of all.

At my commission,
the assassination of Europe.

They have come
to take him away.

Make sure the screws
are tight.

( somber theme playing )

We'll have a glass of wine,

and then perhaps we can
complete our business.

Of course,
the reward.

I suppose it was rather
tactless of Cesare

to tell me so much about
your secret business.

Who can quarrel with
such an excellent result?

Surely it is worth more
than a mere 10,000 pounds?

Of course. How much
would you suggest?

Naturally, you would not like
your affairs made public.

Shall we say 100,000?

Oh, alas, signora, we are not
a rich organization.

But you have
such great plans

now that I have
given you control.

Surely that is worth
special consideration?

Indeed.

Von Pinck, see that
SignoraSpado

gets the most special
consideration we can offer.

( gunshot)

( somber theme playing )

Well done, Miss Winter.
On the spot as usual.

COMMENTATOR:
As Europe's heads
of state travel

to the Kingdom of Ruthenia
for the funeral of its ruler,

the Archduke Ferdinand's
tragic death

threatens to set Europe ablaze.

Throughout the states
of Germany

and the Austro-Hungarian
Empire,

troops of the Grand Alliance
are moving

towards the Ruthenian frontier.

In Imperial Russia,
Czar Nicholas assumes

personal command of his forces,

as his Balkan allies call
impatiently for action.

In the Republic of France,

military preparations
are already afoot.

Great Britain puts
her armed forces

in a state
of instant readiness.

After the funeral tomorrow,
the heads of state

will proceed to the
royal castle at Minsk.

Here, close to the Ruthenian
border with Germany.

Just across the valley
at Rothenburg is a German army

commanded
by General von Pinck.

What do you make of it?

The kaiser is
at the conference.

What can the German army do?

Nothing.

But what Lord Bostwick will do

with what remains of my
bureau, that's the question.

VON PINCK:
Mein Gott!

You might look all right around
the board table, my friends,

but thank God I don't have
to take you into battle.

That goes under
the jacket, man.

( fanfare music plays outside)

The Russian anthem.

The czar is arriving.

We shall need an anthem
of our own.

Remind me.

VON PINCK:
The czar.

The others will soon
be here.

The time has come
to make a move, gentlemen.

Are your officers
safely under lock and key?

Quite safe and very angry
in their underwear.

I've sent a limber ahead
with our little toy.

My engineers will have it loaded
by the time we arrive.

There it is,
the castle at Minsk.

All the crowned heads
of Europe under one roof,

what an opportunity.

Now, Ivan.

For his lordship, I mean,

if war is what
the madman wants.

With your ideas,

I'm surprised you're shocked
at the thought of war.

Not at all. It's purely
a matter of business.

How can we charge
our sort of prices

with everybody happily killing
each other for a shilling a day?

( horse whinnies )
Look out.

What is it?
A bomb.

It's so big. What are they
going to do with it?

Drop it.
What?

On the castle.

Ride there as quickly as
you can. It must be evacuated.

But the frontier
will be guarded.

Ride there, I tell you.
I must follow that bomb.

( fanfare music plays
in distance )

French president.

( "La Marseillaise" playing )

( suspenseful theme playing )

CORPORAL:
Vorsicht, vorsicht.

MAN:
Corporal? Corporal!

What do you think you're doing?
What is that thing?

Some new sort of bomb, sir.
We are to load it aboard.

Aboard my zeppelin?
What's the devil next?

General's orders, sir.

This is a naval ship.

We'll soon see about that.

CORPORAL:
Come on, come on,
get busy, there.

Los,
get this thing unloaded.

The general gave me
the order himself. Los!

What the devil
are you talking about?

Bombs in zeppelins,
ridiculous.

( speaking German)

( fanfare theme playing )

Get up.

( fanfare theme playing )

A life on the ocean wave
and here we are

sitting in the middle
of a forest

with a bloody gas bag.

IVAN:
You men there,

what are you doing?
Do up your buttons.

Where is your officer?

Your officer,
where is he?

He was here a moment ago,
Herr Kapitan.

Well, he is not here now.
I shall take over command.

I have orders from the General.
The zeppelin is to take off

and return
to base immediately.

Get that thing
away from there.

Corporal, do you hear me?
Get that thing away from here!

Jawohl,
Herr Kapitan.

Bloody officers.

Who is the pilot?

The Herr Kapitan,
Herr Kapitan.

But he is not here.

Well, I also am
a pilot, Herr Kapitan.

Then why didn't you say so?
Get on with it, man.

CORPORAL:
Get that thing down here.

CORPORAL:
Careful, careful.

( hoofbeats)

GENERAL:
Hey, you.
Where's the officer?

Well, there was
one here.

Where is he now?

I don't know,
Herr General.

We've lost one already.
Don't answer me back.

Prepare to take off
immediately.

What are you doing there,
corporal?

Get that thing aboard.

Jawohl, Herr General.

( "God Save the King" playing )

GUARD:
Where do you think
you're going?

I've got get to the castle.
You have, have you?

The frontier is closed.
No one is allowed through.

Don't be a fool.
The castle must be evacuated.

They're going to drop
a bomb on it.

Do you think we're
idiots in Ruthenia?

Evacuate the castle!
They've only just arrived.

They are going
to drop a bomb, I tell you.

Oh, drop it?
Who is going to? An eagle?

( laughter)

Through you go.

There are no frontiers
for the Sisters of Mercy.

Will you please
listen to me?

Get out of here, fraulein,
before I have you arrested.

MAN:
Heave ho.

Heave.

Heave.

MAN:
Heave ho.

MAN 2:
Steady. Good.

Up.

Up. Up.
Careful.

Up. Up.

Halt.

The bomb is secured.

Stand by
to cast off.

OFFICER:
Release ballast.

Cast off of it.

Cast off now.

Set course for Minsk.

Minsk, Herr General?

Drive and ask
no questions.

Bombs from the air.
What a marvelous idea.

All those little houses
down there,

just pull a lever and poof!
They're gone.

( yells)

My God,
let's go and see.

Dragomiloff!

BOSTWICK:
Revolutionary idea,
general, an aerial bomb.

History in the making.
A frightening concept.

In 15 minutes,
we should be over the castle.

( grunting )

( wind howling )

What's that fool up to?

What the devil
are you doing there?

There's a naval officer
onboard.

( grunting )

( yells)

Get it back on course.

The captain, I suppose.
He must have hidden on board.

Well, why didn't
you search?

Ah, he'll give no more
trouble anyway.

We're back on course.
Not too soon.

We're approaching
the frontier.

Look! Look!

So, what is this?

It is un ballon.

By Jove! It looks like
some sort of airship.

Nothing is supposed
to cross the frontier.

It's one of those
damned zeppelins.

Where's that bloody Hun?

GERMAN OFFICER:
Good morning.

There you are,
Herr Oberleutnant.

General von Pinck
has sent word.

It's an observation patrol
for security purposes.

Why was I not informed?

Prussians do
what they like.

They're invading
our frontier.

Now, then. Now, then.
Steady the butts.

This is supposed to be
a peace conference.

( attention whistle blows)

Starboard two points.
IVAN: Gentlemen.

( dramatic theme playing )

Dragomiloff.

It's impossible.

Nothing's impossible,
general.

This time we'll
make quite sure.

Unwise, my lord.

You see, a bullet through
a hydrogen balloon

will blow us all
out of the sky.

It's true, my lord.
Leave him to me.

He will not stand
a chance.

I was the saber champion
of all Germany.

En garde.

( dramatic theme playing )

Now, here!
And here!

Come on.

Very good.

Take this.

Here, here, here.

( dramatic theme playing )

Get him.

This way.
After him.

Keep her steady.

Don't do it, Charles.

Indiscriminate destruction
will engulf you too.

One death or a million,
where's the difference?

We're surgeons, not butchers.
We only kill to destroy evil.

Hypocrite.
You kill for money.

Only those who
deserve to die.

We must judge before we kill.

Judge? Young fool.

You're not an assassin,
you're a critic.

Steady.

Steady.

( dramatic theme playing )

( gas hissing )

( dramatic theme playing )

It's jammed.

( engines sputter)

( triumphant theme playing )

Damn you,
get out of my way.

Rise, Sir Ivan.

Your Majesties, you must
evacuate the castle immediately.

Miss Winter, not quite
on the spot for once.

Ivan, what happened?

Sir Ivan,
if you please.

Virtue has been rewarded.

Well, really.

* Life is a precious thing *

* That we don't know
The value of *

* But you will find when your
Heart learns to sing *

* Life is the thing you love *

* There at your fingertips *

* Lies the answer
To all your dreams *

* Someone's caresses and
Somebody's lips *

* Teach you how much
Life means *

* Wait till you fall in love *

* See how it all comes true *

* See how important
The minutes become *

* When there's someone
In love with you *

* For life is
A precious thing *

* That we don't know
The value of *

* But you will find when your
Heart learns to sing *

* Life is the thing you love *

* Life is the thing you live *

* Life is the thing *

* You love *