The (Almost) Legends (2023) - full transcript

Listen up, kiddos.

In northern Mexico,
there's a place called Sinaloa.

Is it famous? Of course! Worldwide!

SOMEWHERE IN SWEDEN...

And in a very well-hidden corner,

there's a little paradise
called Bahía Colorada,

where this awesome movie takes place.

I'm Valentín Abitia Gallardo,
the people's idol.

ABITIA FAMILY

That's Raquel and Romeo,
my "A" family.

I wanna watch you play.
Take me with you, Dad.



Uh, one of these days, my boy.
I promise you.

You always say that.

Oh, come on. Okay. Pinkie promise.

MIRACLE OF THE PACIFIC FERRY

And here
on the Milagro del Pacífico ferry

are my Silvia and Preciado.

Ah! Well, hello!

Ha!

My "B" family.

I know what you're thinking,
but as luck would have it,

God gave me plenty of love to give,

and for that reason, I have two passions.

Here with my "B" family,

I have my "A" passion, banda music.



And that's why
I became a legend

because we were featured on the TV,

playing on the famous TV show,
Desmañanados.

Hey, Dad,
can I go to the workshop? Please!

We'll go later, my boy.

Pinkie promise?

Back in Bahía with my A family,
I have my B passion,

cars.

And that's my younger brother, dear Cosme.

And that's my mom Constanza,
but everyone calls her Connie.

Give me the clamp, my boy.

- That car's a treasure.
- Yeah, it came out amazing!

I'm sure you'll win, my son.

I always dreamed of winning
the Rally de La Bestia.

The rally is a circuit

that goes all the way around Sinaloa.
It begins and ends in Bahía Colorada.

It lasts approximately 30 hours.

It's a race where anything goes,
as long as it's amateur.

It's not a speed race.

It's a fight
of mental and physical resistance.

Not only was I gonna be famous
for being on TV

but also for winning the most important
race of the fuckin' Pacific

and giving that victory to Bahía Colorada.

This one's for you, my son.

And that was
the most exciting day of my life.

Thirty hours later,
it was one of the saddest.

A fucking American.

Son of a bitch!

He bought the entire race.

And with that began a streak
that showed no mercy.

You won't want for anything, my boy.

Especially not love.

My guy,
the powerful Ramón Ayala,

used to say that you always
hurt the ones you love the most.

Look.

THE SELF-MADE LEGEND

Looks pretty good, my son.

Thank you.

It was an accident.

But nothing
that some tostilocos at Bebé can't fix.

FORK & SPOON 2-IN-1

My boys!

That's the last time
you call me pig tits, okay?

Beg me to stop!

That's it.

Hey, Dad, it turned out great.

Well, look at that! You make a pretty good
mechanic yourself, you know that?

Goddamn it, boy! You're better
than your father with that thing.

Just look at these freakin' talented kids
that God gave me. So proud!

I want to dedicate this song
to my two children,

the greatest treasures of my life,
whom I love equally.

I wish they loved each other, dammit.

Which one's the bastard?

DIVELY, THE COUSIN

Because Preciado looks paler to me.

There's only one life, and we must live it
to the fullest every day.

You have to do it all
without fearing death, friends!

I'm his son, not you. Got it?

With that streak
came the worst loss of my life.

My own life.

Some fucking crazy Americans
invited extra people on a boat

where I was playing and it sank.

And I wasn't really great at swimming,
to be honest.

Add my accordion to the mix,
and I was screwed.

IT WASN'T YOUR TIME, BRO

No fear of death anymore!

No fear of death!

No fear of death anymore!

No fear of death!

WITHOUT FEARING DEATH, OLD MAN

I'm leaving Bahía Colorada.

Where to, my boy?

To Mexico City.

I'm going to do what I was destined to do...

and become a villain...

in telenovelas.

I'm never coming back
to this fucking shithole.

I promise you that! Move!

Darling!

As you can imagine,
this is not my story because I'm dead.

It's the story
of everything that happened afterwards.

THE (ALMOST) LEGENDS

FIVE YEARS LATER

THE MUSIC TRUCK

Son, come take a look.

My God!

Not too bad, Preciado.

Don't mention it. Don't even start.

I have to take care
of my beautiful hands.

They were made to create,
not to go around degreasing spark plugs.

Mm?

I was made to do great things.

I'm going to be a legend like my old man.

Mm.

Hey, it wasn't so bad.

Are you feeling down or what?

I think I should only play
the accordion, maybe. Right?

Nah. No.

You're the singer, not me.
If you don't sing, who will?

- Well, you.
- Stop playing!

Let's play, like, just with the drums,
no voice. It's a classic.

- Something nice.
- What fucking drums, dude?

It's the wind instruments
and the two of us.

Come on. We have to start composing.

No one gets famous
playing other people's songs.

My father was on TV
playing someone else's compositions,

and he became famous.

Here in Bahía.

Passengers of the Milagro
del Pacífico Ferry,

we will be arriving at Bahía Colorada
in 30 minutes.

It was a pleasure traveling with you.

ESTHER'S GIFTS

JAZMÍN'S GIFT SHOP

How are you guys? How are your spirits?

Super Star Freski Bombiz
is letting you know

right now the Delegangster will make
an announcement in the town square,

so just go down there
and listen to whatever he has to say.

What a babe!

THE DELEGANGSTER

The delegate dressed up, huh?
He's handsome!

I gotta say,
he's looking kinda good, yeah?

Good afternoon.
With the excellent news that...

Uh. Oh.

Daddy!

With the excellent news...

RIVAL FAMILY

...that after ten years,

the famous Sinaloa
international rally race,

La Bestia, is finally coming back!

Son, remember? I told you about that race.

There's a month to go,
and as everyone knows,

Bahía Colorada is the end of the race.

Hi!

You didn't tell me you were coming, kid.

You're back, my son!

Very well. Uh, attention. Uh...

Here I have the registration forms

for the brave ones who want to...

'Sup, people?

What's up, Bahía Colorada?
Long time no see.

Apparently, down in Mexico City,
in the capital, we get everything first,

the designer sneakers,
brand name clothing, the news, the gossip.

I heard about the rally a while ago.
That's why I returned.

I'll give you the triumph that was
taken away from my dad in the past.

I'm here to win the race

and honor Valentín Abitia, all right?

That's right!

Preciado.

Aren't you gonna sign up?

Uh...

Preciado!

Preciado! Preciado!

The bastard. How can he be honored
to my father's last name. Tell me, huh.

Yes, well, uh, listen.

As all of you know,

from my dad,
I inherited the artistic side,

not the car thing.

And my father named me Preciado

like his musical idol.
This is my father's legacy.

And now I'll carry the throne.

But I'll do it with my band,

not with a fucking lousy race.

But I wish success to all who participate.

Okay, man. Yeah.

He's calling you a dog!

If there's anyone here worthy
of representing Bahía Colorada,

it's my little cub, El Tino.

And we are the ones
who are gonna make history,

and not some big city kid,

a lazy cow, son of a good-for-nothing.

Besides, he promised he wouldn't return

until a prize of $30,000 appeared, right?

I didn't even know there was a prize.
What prize, man?

I came here
to avenge my father. That's it.

- I'm registering here and now.
- Oh, okay.

That's all I'm here for.

- In memory of my father.
- Sign here.

And what's up with Preciado?

Fucking...

Why do people like him so much?
Fucking little ugly brat.

What did he do? I mean, besides
dress up all fucking ridiculous.

No freakin' way. You can't
dress up like that in the capital.

He's not a bad guy, honestly.

Hmm. Traitor.

We have a band together.

Oh, so you're
a double traitor then?

No, no.

We're very bad. Don't even worry about it.

Okay, okay. Well...

But tell us about life there
in the big city!

Spill it, T. Spill it!

You don't keep us posted, cousin.
Not even a fucking letter. That's low.

How can I tell you without sounding...

sounding arrogant?

My life there is a utopia.

(A) There are soap operas at 8:00 p.m.
They're very popular.

I'm the antagonist
in all of them, obviously.

So you can see me there at 8:00 p.m.

(B) I go to yoga every day.
You have no idea how much it helps.

Some of the badass spiritual shit
is very good.

THE MUSIC TRUCK

What's up, guys?

I am the Divine Master,
and this is the Green Horny,

or for those who don't understand,
the Horny American.

Pure American machine, bros.

I'm going to introduce you to the wildest
mods I've ever done to this baby.

Angel eye headlights,

like your ex,
the one who broke your heart. Ah!

Removable steering wheel.

Oh, very cool, huh?

And the tree keeps on giving, bro.
Look!

It has a screen, my brother.
Get a close-up of that.

You have to reinvent yourself, like me...

- Damn, it's lit.
- I was the winner of Ecateprize 2020, bro.

Don't forget about us,

just like you wouldn't forget about
the Toltec...

Nah. Whatever.

You like it?

Oh, it's good. Happy. It's fine.

Wanna know what my cousin told me?

Romeo? No.

Mm.

He says he is very famous there,
down in Mexico City,

that he's got a lot of girls
and soap operas and who knows what else.

Oh. Do you think
he's good behind the wheel?

Well, my aunt says
he drives very fast, dude.

Why?

I mean...

Are you afraid
he'll win the race?

And be on TV before you?

- Nah.
- He's very scared!

You're afraid your brother will beat you!

No, man. Okay. It's just your mind, dude.
Live in the present.

It's nothing. The future doesn't exist.

28 DAYS UNTIL THE RALLY

Oh wow. You put in the good stuff.

The best of the best
for my Tino, hmm?

Yeah.

THE LITTLE JOYS I GIVE MYSELF

So, how much did it cost?

Is that important?

- Step on it, boy!
- Okay.

Relax your arms a little.

Don't stretch them so much.
Don't get stiff. Relax them.

Tino, you're such a moron,
seriously.

Go f... Oh God!

You gotta be kidding.

- Pull over there, Cristino.
- Over there?

Pull over!

What's all this crap, huh?

Whoo!

You're good for nothing.

You are!

Well, I don't even
like to drive, Dad.

You didn't ask
if I wanted to race in the rally.

Can I drive it?

Watch your TikToks, bro.

Come on! I'll let you cut my bangs.

- Really?
- Really.

- It's a deal.
- Bet.

Need a lift, sir?

Oh, somebody has been practicing
on their own, I see.

Come on. Dad, remember
when you didn't let me play with cars?

Well, surprise!
I'm the baddest bitch alive.

Tino, get in the back.

- Yeah, sounds like a plan.
- Okay.

- Good. Sit in the back, buddy. Hurry.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Get in the back!
- I'm going, asshole!

THE MOCORITO

Oh, Godfather!

Oh, this is what you're riding
these days, huh?

- What's up?
- Get in, son.

- Go on, Godson.
- Ah, this is crazy.

It's been so long.

- How are you, Mocorito? All good?
- All good.

I'd heard you were coming
to race in the rally.

I was hoping it was true.

Oh, well, I came all the way
from Mexico City.

I came all this way for justice
and the memory of my father.

You were a wingman, right? A copilot?

Yeah. I did a bunch of races
with my man Valentín,

before your uncle Cosme
became his wingman.

But never La Bestia. It's very difficult.

- Not to be taken lightly.
- Daddy.

Oh, thank you, sweetie.

Want some?

Uh-uh.

- I'm good. I'm good.
- Good, 'cause there's only enough for me.

Yeah.
That's actually why I'm here.

(A) I wanted to know how you were.

(B) I wanted to see if you wanted to be
my wingman for the race.

No, Romeo, I don't do those things.

- You're my godfather, Mocorito.
- Hmm.

Now that my dad isn't here, you...
you should... Well, that's the idea, right?

You look after us.
You take care of us. Isn't that true?

Even if I wanted to, Romeo, I'm cursed.

- Yeah.
- Why don't you ask your brother?

He's in your father's workshop
with Connie.

He's very good with cars.

My brother,
does he even know anything about cars?

- What is he doing at my dad's workshop?
- Yeah.

Connie was teaching him.
Oh, but he left it for music.

He says he's going to be more famous
than my dear friend...

That's bull, man!
He should be looking for a job.

That workshop belongs to my old man.
Who gave him permission?

Mm-hmm.

Well, Godfather,

I'm off.

And thanks.

Does your dad live in his truck or what?

Sorta. Since Valentín died,
he hasn't turned it on.

But he tries every day.

He just sits and suffers in there all day.

Don't even think about
making fun of my car.

But didn't you tell me
it was brand new, Mom?

It was brand new some years ago.

Reach in through the window.

It doesn't even open! Fucking junk.

You take care of my precious!

I love...

WHEN I MET YOU I FELL AND GOT UP

What's up, loser? What do you think?

Pretty nice, right?
Pretty cool, yeah, yeah, yeah?

I'm sorry, but I can't hear you!

Goddamn it!

Hey there, Grandma!

What's up? You look good.
I'm happy to see you.

- Oh, Romeo.
- Hey, Grandma.

- How sweet, my boy.
- How are you?

Grandma, a gift for you from Mexico City.

That's the capital, Grandma. It's for you.

Oh boy. My dear, I've really missed you.

Well, Grandma, you know,
that acting job's crazy.

Artists live very fast,
hustling up and down and every day.

Yeah? Hey, are you racing in that?

Yeah.

Oh yeah?

I mean, it's incredible, but yeah,
I've tried it out and it runs very fast.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Very fast, Grandma.
- Great.

Hey, so is this really where...
...Preciado works?

Yeah, sometimes,
but he never stays too long.

No, that kid's obsessed with his band now.

Oh, so now he wants to be famous
like my father?

- Yeah.
- No way. That's impossible.

He better get to work, start hustling,
earning his bread and butter,

like we say in the capital.
His band is terrible, right?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm leaving, Grandma.
I have a destiny to fulfill. I really do.

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you too.
Just don't disappear for so long,

because remember,
that's why you have this.

Eat your flan.

What? Are you serious?

My boy, you have to get another car.

Ha, maybe go talk to your godfather.

He has a truck, a bit small,
but with a big engine, son.

Fucking godfather.
He won't help me, Grandma.

I went, and he says that...
Says he's cursed and stuff.

He's such a coward.

Let me think about what I can do
to improve this piece of crap.

But, ooh, it's gonna be tough.

Listen up, everyone.
We got new furry friends...

BABY, FORGIVE ME
WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?

20 DAYS UNTIL THE RALLY

Fucking Tino!

What are you doing?

What? What the hell is happening?

What, huh? What?

Motherfucking crazy asshole!

Didn't hear you, I'm sorry.

What, you're not gonna say anything?

Supposed to be a villain, no?

What do you know about me, huh?

About you, I actually know three things.

Here's number one.
I'm gonna win the rally.

Number two is that
no one watches telenovelas.

And the last one...
You're a motherfucking crazy asshole!

Fucking shit!

Don't laugh, dude!

Ah, God.

RED ALERT
WATCH OUT!

He kicked the bucket!

Fisherman dies today,

assassinated by gigantic
killer crustacean.

And it wasn't a killer,
you know, but now it is,

well, because of this murder.

Good morning. Romeo Abitia?

- Yeah, it is.
- Sir, I'm calling from Bancomex.

We've been trying to contact you
due to the loan you requested,

which you've not paid for months,
accumulating quite a sum in interest.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I've been traveling.
I was on vacation,

but I'm gonna pay, huh?
Yeah, I'm going to pay.

Yes, sir. I must notify you
that your refusal to pay

has raised an alert that requires
immediate legal action from our...

What? I said I'm gonna pay, man, okay?
I'm gonna pay. These fuckers.

Romeo, what's with all the yelling?

Nothing. No.

Mom.

What's the story between Don Tasio
and my old man? Was there a problem?

Ah.

Well,

a long time ago, Tasio

was chasing after the prettiest
little girl in all Bahía Colorada.

But she was in love with Valentín.

Who was it?

It was me!

- Don't be stupid!
- Oh yeah.

Out of jealousy, Tasio wanted to buy
your dad's workshop.

There was no amount of money
in the world to convince Valentín.

A STORMY DESTINY

A GAME WITHOUT RULES

FORBIDDEN MEMORIES

A MARTYR'S HILL

Goddamn it.
I was already having a bad day.

Oh, just relax, Don Tasio. Calm down, man.

Listen, lately I've been
talking to my mom a lot about you.

About what or... or why?

Well, just some stuff, you know?
Some things, but...

Uh, basically that, uh,

you always wanted
my... my late father's workshop.

And what makes you think that I'm
still interested in that lousy workshop?

Let me tell you.

(A) Because that business is one of the few
in Bahía Colorada that isn't yours yet.

Right?

(B) Imagine it now, sir. Right now.

Someone is crossing Sinaloa on a plane,
in a Boeing 375.

It's all clear. They look out the window...

"Look!"

"That kingdom... is owned by a guy..."

"THIS YEAR WILL BE ONE OF THE BEST
FOR BAHÍA'S ECONOMY"

"...a fine landlord whose name is
Anastasio Candelario."

Ooh!

Listen to me.

Cut the bullshit.

Doesn't it belong to your grandma?

- No, it was my old man's.
- And you don't care about the inheritance?

No, of course I care about...

When I finish the race,
all I want is to leave.

I don't want anything
to do with Bahía Colorada, okay?

Your little speeches
are starting to contradict one another.

I'm very sorry, young man.

You're competing against Marén.

And what if you win the rally

and I'm just sitting here,
closing deals with you?

How do you think she'll feel?

Maybe I can make a deal with you

if you don't race the rally.

No. Come on, sir. Of course not.

That's different.
I can't accept that offer.

I... I came to do justice
to the memory of my old man.

Not even your mother would buy that story!

I know that you're broke now.

Yeah.

I can smell it all over you.

Stop that, Don Tasio.

Workshop or rally. It's your choice.

Okay, let me run the race,
and I'll lose on purpose. That a deal?

Okay. Deal.

First, take your grandma
out of the workshop

and when she's out, I'll give you half.

And after you lose the race,
I'll give you the rest. Agree?

Sounds good to me.

Your least favorite guy is here,

but you'll hate me even more
when you know why I'm here.

- What's up, Grandma?
- Hi, son.

Come on, spit it out.

I...

Well, I, uh...

I'm gonna... I'm gonna need the workshop.

I might be wrong, but as far as I know,
it's mine by inheritance, hmm?

As far as you know?

It's yours, and that's it!

This workshop belongs to him,
and the boy sold it to me, okay?

So it's mine.

That's my dad's fork-spoon, asshole!

Why do you have it, bastard?
What the fuck?

What are you doing with his hat,
bastard? Who do you think you are?

Why do you wanna be
like my dad, bitch? What the fuck?

The Don Cruz candle? You have no right
to have these things, asshole!

Well, your mom left me everything, uh...

Since you didn't take anything
when you left...

Well, I'm here now, and I own this place,
okay, and everything in it. Got it?

We'll give you a week
for you to gather all your shit

and tie up your loose ends.

My boy, this doesn't belong to you.

Your grandfather was
the one who built it on his own.

It wasn't Valentín.

Come on, son.
Your brother and I live in this workshop.

If you want to take it from me,

you'll have to bring the will,
which obviously doesn't exist.

Let's not get lawyers involved.

Don't make me laugh, Constanza.

You don't have enough money
for a legal battle.

Spare us the drama.

Don Tasio,

if I love anything in this life,
it's a good drama.

Get the hell out of here, huh!

Because this is my church,

and you are not a believer.
Get the fuck out of here!

You have one week.

Let's go.

I'm not scared, you know. I'm not scared!
I'm not scared at all.

No fear of death, for once.

Grandma, I'm gonna enter the rally.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

You're gonna be my wingman.

Let's screw over
that fucking Don Tasio and Romeo.

Look, I'm gonna make history
with my band. Yes, sir.

But also with the rally.

For me, for you, and my old man.

Everyone watch out for Preciado.
Hmm, I'll show them all.

I don't know much about races and names,
but, you know, I'm the new guy.

They'll all know my name.

There's only a few days
left until the big rally,

and people are already getting fired up...

I LISTEN TO ROMANTIC PROBLEMS
FOR $5

15 DAYS UNTIL THE RALLY

Good evening,
Bahía Colorada!

Prepared for you with love,
it's a pleasure for us to be here.

Now, we are Lágrimas Norteñas!

No fear of death, friends.

Can't hear ya!

Sing up!

Can't hear ya!

Not having talent
kinda runs in the family, right?

That dude
ain't my family, dude.

At least this dude filled
your fucking little restaurant

without having to pay anyone, you know?

Not like you,
always having to buy followers.

You're funny, Romeo.

And also, you're lousy
in front of the camera, hmm?

Well, yeah? Well, you? You've never even
stood in front of a camera.

Don Valentín says we've got
a bootleg copy here.

You're an idiot.

We're just warming up.
No worries.

- And Romeo?
- Yeah?

Hope God blesses you a talent
so you stop yearning for everyone around.

- Ay!
- Sure, man.

Just play the song.

Ladies and gents,

"Pionero de caricias."

That's shit, man

But you don't give yourself
the chance to know me, girl.

(A) I'm wild but sweet.

(B) Vulnerable, yeah,

but lethal.

You're unfuckable, boy.

But I would really like to see
your stupid face on telenovela.

I think it'll suit you.

Carlota Marén Candelario
Ruíz Apocampo Góngora y Corcuera.

The starry night is just starting.

And this scoundrel is ready
to steal a kiss from you,

no matter how much it costs.

How about that?

So, what now?

What will you do,

Alberto Romeo?

No, no, no, I'm not Alberto.

My name is Alfa.

What?

Yeah, Alfa Romeo. Like the car.
It's just my dad loved that car.

It's a fucking horrible name.

- It pisses me off! Who thinks that's cool?
- No shit! No way! Come on!

Anyways...

I choose the path of sin,
you know, and passion.

Tell me that I'm your boss girl,
Alfa Romeo.

No fucking way.

Big news!
Because the people asked for it,

Alcoholics Anonymous has come to town...

Let's congratulate Margarita, Juan,

Pedro, and Pancho.
They are getting better at last!

I don't even know why I did it. That dude...
Trust me, he's the last thing that I want.

He's a loser, a good-for-nothing,

and if that's not enough,
he doesn't have any style.

I've got enough shit going on, huh.

And on top of that, I have to put up with
this little egocentric girl like that?

You know, I'm a Nathy Peluso,
a Natti Natasha, a Karol G, a Becky G,

a big hot bitch, you hear?

No, I don't believe in love
or any shit like that.

(From now on, I believe in,
a) strip clubs, b)...

I will twerk to the floor.
Insecurities are out the door.

(C) José José. Obviously,
"El triste" and "Gavilán o paloma."

Although he made me laugh a little,
though I have no fuckin' idea why!

Well, he's actually kinda cute.

Well, she's actually funny.

She's funny, you know? She really is.

And I was kinda sad because...

Dude, what's the matter with Preciado?

Why do people love him so much?

Why? Tell me!

I've lived here 15 years.
Fifteen! So what's good?

You're very expressive, huh?

It says that I listen, not that I answer.

I LISTEN TO ROMANTIC PROBLEMS
FOR $5

What the fuck is up with Preciado?

That dude's singing is totally awful!

Lazy asshole! He should
go and find another job.

I know! He should go back
to fixing cars, huh? He's good at that.

- He's very good at fixing cars.
- Yeah. He fixed my car, and it works fine.

Not even using that totune
that kids use now, he won't make it.

- "Totune"? Autotune, idiot!
- Same thing.

Not even that, dude.
He shouldn't sing, dude.

He's a kick in the balls.

No, I... I felt like
my ear was bleeding...

You're not scared of driving, are you?

No!

- I don't think so, at least.
- What's the worst that could happen?

- Us crashing!
- Yeah, but there's nothing here!

Oh, come on!

I'm so fuckin' worthless.

The only thing I have
in this world is you.

And I love you!
I don't want you to ever leave.

But you're, like, 200 years old, Grandma.

And my only other family is a fucking
idiotic motherfucker who, honestly,

will never accept me,
no matter what I say.

What will people remember me for?

For a band that was all shitty?

Or some fucking tuned-up Chevy? Nah!

I don't like to talk about this,
my boy, but...

...your grandpa moved on

while he was fixing his Rambler.

He was always here working.

He tinkered with his cars
more than he did me.

And, well, I finished fixing the car
because that's what he would have wanted.

But after that,
I felt this fucking resentment

towards that damn car.

My only wish was to sink it in the sea,
right to the bottom!

But when I was driving
on the highway, listen,

the more I sped up,
the more fired up I felt,

and the more pissed off I was.
And the more I sped up...

No, my dear boy. Hold on.

Let me tell you.

I always thought
that fishing was my thing.

I was the women's champion
four years in a row.

It was all I cared about.

But after having lived that experience
of driving so reckless,

I understood your grandfather
and his devotion to cars,

and I followed his passion.

This garage. You know what I'm saying.

If you don't want to race in the rally,
my boy, don't try it.

Because if you're nervous,
you'll crash and kill yourself.

Now, look how beautiful this is.

FIRST PLACE
FISHING TOURNAMENT

How did you manage
to carry those?

Just imagine
that I'm carrying you and your brother.

The fish burrito business
sounded good. Oh, look! He's here.

Let me introduce you, Mr. Valeriano.

The most badass badass in all of Mazatlán.

I only need you to sign these documents.

The magic

will be done by my attorney, Valeriano.

That shitty workshop will become
the most impressive gift shop

in all of Bahía Colorada.

Dad, you really need another one?

Yeah, I do.

Open something else, like

a beauty parlor?

Yeah, yeah. Just to put on fake nails

and do some male waxing?

Oh, don't try it.
I'm not insecure like you.

I'm not the one
that has a child they called Princess

because of your pretty, green eyes
and who knows...

Hey, that's enough!

Stop with that.

Didn't anyone teach you manners
or what, huh?

You left me lying there like an idiot.
I thought I loved you, Marén.

It might not have been good for you,
but it was good for me.

Fucking men!

You don't even love your mothers, hmm?
And as for driving, forget it!

Oh, so you're just gonna
leave me again? Okay, sure.

No! Piece of shit!
This always happens to me.

I killed your precious one, Mom.

No, no, don't say anything.
I'm gonna fix it, okay? I'll fix it.

Just leave it there!

Tell Bebé I'll have it ready in two days.

Oh, that's great. By the way,
in the morning I towed the precious one.

The precious one? And who exactly is that?

Don Tasio, I'm pulling out.

My family sucks, sure,
but they're my family, huh.

So you won't get in the way of that.

One way or another,
I'm gonna beat your whole family down.

Listen to me, you little brat.

I've still got your signature
on these documents here,

so there's no way out of this.

Yeah. We'll see.

I've been waiting all day to cut my cake.

Where's your boss and his lawyers?

Chillax, dude. I come in peace.

I came to...

I came to tell you that I canceled
the contract with Don Tasio.

I was wrong.

I know.

And I could use your help, Grandma.

- Hmm?
- Oh yeah?

Oh my God. You have no shame, man.

I wouldn't ask if there was
another good workshop anywhere close,

but there isn't.
You offered it to me, right?

Yeah.

Huh? Told you.

Do you think that you can come here
and say and do whatever you want,

then play innocent
and everything will just be fine?

Well, no.

Not while I'm around.

Connie, remember the car?
Well, Cosme has it.

No, but I need them to get it
so I can fix it.

All right.

Okay. Here's my idea, huh?

Your grandfather's Rambler

that your father
and your uncle Cosme used in the rally,

that car still exists.

And it's the most powerful
piece of engineering in all of Mexico.

I promise you.

I'll tell you where it is,
and you can use it for the race, Romeo.

But you two have to pick it up.

It's a deal?

Sure, sure. Yeah, good idea. Why not?

Here's why.

He'll stab me in the back.

No, he should go alone. Why me?

In exchange,

we require you to sing in our band.

No, no!

That won't happen. No way.

I'd rather ask Don Tasio for help,

getting down on my knees in a pink thong
in front of all of fucking Bahía Colorada,

with Tino braiding my hair
down in my fucking asshole

before playing in your band.
How about that?

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

Well... well, I'd prefer to have
Donald Trump tattooed on my tits

and then getting my balls run over
by a tractor on national television,

and have Belinda making fun of me,
smashing a fucking apple to her forehead.

All that before
having you joining my band.

- You're crazy.
- How's that, bro?

I... I mean, just...

Who told you
that this fucking asshole could even sing?

Romeo.

Oh, Romeo.

Preciado.

My cousin.

Comrade.

You're looking for a car,
or else there's no rally.

And you... You're looking for a singer,

or there is no band.

How about we try to give
just as much as we receive?

And we all win. Sounds pretty good.

I'm telling you now
that I don't know the songs.

I don't know anything about
what we're going to sing...

Don't play dumb.
You know the songs Dad used to play.

I forgot. It's been a long time.
You know that.

Fuckin' piece of shit!

- See? Is this what you wanted?
- Just give him a chance.

Look, buddy. Play nice, okay?

I saw you singing
"El triste" on the sidewalk.

Who are you trying to fool?

Go ahead. Do it.

Stop that!

What the fuck is this, dude?

It sounds like fucking ass, dude.
Fucking music's awful. Fuck off!

This isn't what I sing or listen to.
I listen to Chopin,

Mozart, other fucking singers.

What do you know, anyway, huh?
My dad never loved you.

Oh-ho! That's a low blow,
even for you.

It's okay, man.

- That's why we do this, to feel.
- Hmm.

- "El irreparable" is a great song.
- Hmm.

Don't be afraid.

Come on. We all know that singing
made things move in there. It was obvious.

What do you know?
Fuck away from me.

Hey, Romeon!

See you tomorrow at 6:00, okay?
It's a date!

Get the fuck out of here, man!

10 DAYS UNTIL THE RALLY

I waited 45 minutes. I was about to leave.

What's all this? What's with the backpack?

Where are we going?

Well, I'm bringing a jacket.
It might be cold.

- Let's go.
- Cold?

Don't be stupid, dude.

- Thanks, Francisco.
- Of course. No problem.

A map, seriously?

Grandma made it.

Use the Internet.
Don't you have service out here?

I don't think
there's much 5G here.

It's that way.

The sun is nice, huh?

Yeah, right.

Holy fuck, man!

I think we're lost.

Come on, let's go!

Come on! Come on!

Are you tired already?

No way, man. Winning.

Romeo!

Goddamn it! Preciado, I can't move, dude.

My fucking underwear is all crumpled.
It feels like a thong!

I gave you a sandwich, buy you said no.

I think your sugar's low,
or it's just a heat stroke. Let me see.

- You think, dude?
- You'll feel better after this.

Oh shit. Back online?

You ready?
I'm ready, dude. Come on.

Do you have any idea
who lives here?

I've got no fucking clue.

Go ahead.

Oh fuck.

Uncle Cosme?

- Uncle.
- Hmm?

We came because
we're gonna race La Bestia.

Oh? Is that right?

I am going to race La Bestia.

Wait, wait. I'm a little confused here.
Who will be in the race?

- Me.
- Me.

What the fuck, dude?
You don't care about the race.

- No.
- Grandma offered me the car, man.

Well, yeah, but I already signed up.

I'm gonna do the race
just like a... like a hobby...

- Yeah, right, dude.
- Wait.

What do you mean as a hobby?

Look, my passion is music.

Just like my old man, I also have a band.

Lágrimas Norteñas. We're doing very well.

Yeah, you sing
like nails on a chalkboard.

It's not true, Uncle.
His band is not good. It's not true.

When I'm on TV and dating Belinda,

you'll have to shut your mouth,
fucking asshole.

Yeah, sure, Belinda.

Are you planning to race on your own?

We want to do you guys justice

for the fraud they committed
in the past, you know?

Come here, you two fools.

These idiots!

And look what we have here!
Look!

And who's your wingman?

Uh, I don't have one. Not yet.

The only way
that this car's getting out of here

is if he does the race with you.

No way, man. No.

If this guy gets in the car,
it'll jinx it, Uncle. For real.

Yeah, likely.

Your car doors
are dragging on the pavement.

Was that you, asshole?

Come on.

It's about time you opened your eyes.

Because you look damn stupid.

THE CAPTIVATING ENCANTO BAND

Valentín was never even close
to winning the race.

Ah, he tried hard and all.

He loved cars,

but honestly, he wasn't that good.

What?

- No way!
- Word.

And the fraud thing...

He made that up because, well,
he was a bad loser and he was prideful.

He was prideful as you two fuckers, huh?

Wanting to be like Valentín

won't bring you anything good.

See? I'm telling you, man, huh?

You don't have to be so hateful.
Look at you.

Forgot where you came from.

- Honestly.
- What's wrong with that?

This has been another episode
of your favorite show...

This can't be happening.

I am your host, Enrique Riquelme,

and all I have left to say is,
see you very soon, my people!

- I've never seen this video.
- Come on!

Is that...

Is that all?

That was the famous video
that made him the town's idol.

- Hey, dude.
- Hmm?

What if we tell our uncle that...

that we're gonna race the rally together,
just so he gives us the car, yeah?

He won't even notice
if I race it alone or not.

More lies?

Why do you want to win the rally, hmm?

There's no justice to be done here.

Because the only fraud here
was my old man.

Fraud or not, either way,

I think he'd like it for me to win
and dedicate it to him.

I'd rather cut off my own balls
than let Don Tasio and Marén win.

Preciado, come on. It's a matter of...
well, of pride, you know?

What the fucking fuck, man!

Hey, man.
What's with all those phone calls?

Nothing. Let's go.
Let's get the car, man. Come on, huh?

What are we doing here?
Let's go back home, huh?

The ants are biting me, dude.

All right.

Hey, Uncle. Can you tell us where to go?

It was a fucking journey to even get here.

- We almost didn't make it, did we?
- Hmm.

Well, the road is right there
under your nose, fucking idiots.

Ever heard of the Internet, huh?

Dude, you do understand
my old man was full of bull, don't you?

He was the biggest shit talker.
Otherwise, you wouldn't exist.

With all due respect, hmm?

He always had secrets.

Romeo Abitia is in debt.

He is being persecuted for defaulting
on his loans in Mexico City.

Yeah. Besides,
he has never been in telenovelas.

He's a food delivery man.

We have first-hand evidence,

courtesy of Don Tasio.

Hold up. Wait.

Ah, you know that's a lie.
How could it be true?

I work as an actor, Preciado.
I was just concentrating.

I had to understand the delivery man.
I'm Shakespearean, bro.

I'm done with you, Romeo.

You're not here for my old man.
You don't care about him or my grandma.

You only think of yourself.

Listen carefully
to what I'm gonna tell you.

There's no way I'm letting someone
as fake as you use my father's car.

What'd you say?

- Fake. Fake.
- Fake, really?

Don't play that fucking card!

The first one to be fake here
was my old man.

Accept it, fucking poser.
Fake shit, my ass.

I saw you dropping
tostilocos the other day.

Super fake too. Don't play dumb.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Fake.

Besides, you don't give a shit
about the race, right?

You care about your band.

I'll join your band if you help me out.
What's the problem?

The problem
is that our whole life is somehow a lie.

Bullshit. You always do this.

- Wait. Preciado.
- Yeah?

Stupid Don Tasio is doing this.
Don't you know?

Yeah? How so?

There's never been a me and you.

And that has been
your decision all your life.

WELCOME BABY CONNIE
LOVE, YOUR PARENTS POMPI AND NENA

8 DAYS UNTIL THE RALLY

I don't want any monkey business.

I'll screw those guys
without any help, okay?

How can I help out? How?

Help with what?

Are you going back to the past,

to give Valentín a condom so he doesn't
have a mechanic son and a driver son?

Please think for once. Come on, Cristino!

You're a total failure, kid.

CALL HISTORY

FERRAS

What's up?

Hey, Ferras, bring that little burger boy,
and bring the big guns with you

'cause we're gonna burn
the fucking world down tonight!

You crazy kid. I'll grab my iron club,
and we'll fuck 'em up.

Just give me 15 mins so I can do my hair.

"Your hell, my pleasure"?

Piece of shit Don Tasio!
This time, he's really gone too far.

Now he's really dead.
All because of you, fuckin' moron!

Because of me?

What would you prefer, fucker?
That he take over the damn workshop?

FAILURE

LOSERS

WHOEVER READS THIS IS AN IDIOT

PAIR OF MONKEYS

I'm going back to the capital.

I have nothing else to do here.

Let him go and never come back.

Dively just arrived.

Sounds good.

Romeo,

it's just a race, and there are
many other ways to honor your father.

Don't think so, Mom.

Your dad

made a lot of mistakes,

but he had confidence

which made him feel
less... fearless to the end.

That doesn't have to be your life.

I told you the only things I care about
were booze, crying and listening to banda.

I'm busy now.
I'm going back to the capital.

That so?

I think, uh, it's for the best.

Well, the ferry doesn't leave
until tomorrow.

Let's do it.

If you don't like it,
I'll pay for your ticket, man.

You're low on money. Am I right?

Grandma.

I need my savings.
I know what I have to do right now.

But that money is for your future, my boy.
What will you do?

Get revenge.

Oh, okay then. Say no more.

Okay, turn this shit off, Dively.

Come on. Stop it, girl, okay?
Okay? That's enough.

Get it all out. Come on.

My dad died from playing this crap, dude.

Give me a break, man.

Your father died because he couldn't swim

and because he hung out
with fucking Americans too much.

Banda had nothing to do with it.

Last time I saw my old man,

I was so mean to him. I didn't even say
goodbye, say anything. Goddamn it, man!

Stay and play.

I swear it will make you feel better.

It's the only thing
that makes sense to me in this life.

Really imagine your journey.

I reinvented myself.

Oh! Just look at that.

Scandal again in Bahía Colorada.

The fucking Don Tasio is bankrupt.

That crook old man. First-hand evidence.
Here it is. Look. Look. Check it out.

Check it out. Take a look.

Expenses, bad investments,
even worse, blackmail and fraud

to take over all the properties
of Bahía Colorada.

I told y'all, "Don't believe
in people if their eyes are blue."

They're green!

Whatever, okay? Who asked you anyway?

This time, I am really gonna ruin
that pair of little fuckers.

Just look at what they did
to all my glasses!

- Is that important, Anastasio, huh?
- Is that really important?

I cannot go out into the street
looking like this, Esmeralda, goddamn it!

That's why you're ashamed?

Tell me how we're going to show our faces,

after the fucking scandal
that went off, hmm?

Why didn't you tell us
you were totally broke, Dad?

We would've helped you out.

When have you ever helped me, Tino?
All you give me is headaches every day!

Are you serious?

I even helped you vandalize
those fucking morons' car.

Wait. You did what?

So you two did it together.

I specifically told you
not to pull any shit like that.

I don't like foul play. I'm not like you.

You hate me, right?

You've hated me since before I was born.

That's why you named me Cristino,

to screw me over,
like you got screwed over with Anastasio.

I don't hate you, son.

But sometimes you remind me
of the part I like the least about myself.

That I'm kind of a big idiot in business.

- I'm not a big idiot.
- Of course not!

That's why you want me
to win the race, right?

To solve all your fucking problems.

You were just bluffing
with that prodigal daughter stuff.

You have to solve
this whole problem, Anastasio.

My friends are now ashamed of me.

You are a bunch
of good-for-nothing, ungrateful assholes!

Everything I've done, I've done for you.

So don't come with me with lessons.

Tell me, what did you do?
Nothing, besides living off of me.

So you will do exactly as I say,
and no more.

Marén, you are going to race the rally.

Tino, you are going to be her wingman.

And we are going to win this race
because we need it.

That money is what we need
to solve all our issues for everyone.

That includes you. Are we clear?

Is that song yours?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Good job.

Thank you?

Come on. Don't you want
to put pen to paper...

Later, later.

I want to show you something
right now. Let's go.

Okay.

WITHOUT FEARING DEATH, OLD MAN

Did you do this, Preciado Abitia?

So you can kick ass
in the rally with Grandma.

Look,

you and I will never love each other.
I get it.

But we both want the same thing right now.

We want to screw over Don Tasio
and that bunch of fuckers

who have spent their whole lives
putting us down. Aren't you fed up?

Yeah, of course I'm fed up.

Then take the keys.

All right then.

But I'm riding with you.

No.

You can take the car.

I came here
because I got scammed in the capital.

Some fucking assholes, for real.

They made me think they were going
to put me in the new 8:00 p.m. soap opera

as this new kinda youthful,
ruthless villain-type role

that would set me up for life
if I gave them some money.

So I went to the bank.

Asked for a big loan.

But it was all a big lie.
It was bullshit, dude.

I felt fuckin' stupid. You have no idea.
I'm an idiot! Goddamn it, man.

Now with this fucking debt,

they won't stop calling me.
They keep calling and calling.

If I don't pay, I'm going to prison, dude.

And with what I earn
as a delivery driver, no way.

Not even in seven lives
will I be able to pay it back.

That's why you drive so fast, right?

You deliver food all day long.

Fuck you, dude. Give me a break.

Well, yeah,
after 30 minutes, the pizza's free.

They'll charge you for it.

Seriously, fucker.
I'm in deep shit here.

Hey, the song is amazing, dude, really.

Come on, dude. Did you, um, listen to it?

For sure. It gave me goosebumps
and everything.

But you know what it's missing?

A fucking accordion solo,
like the ones only you know how to play.

Oh yeah. Something crazy, dude.

The song's waiting for you.

So we can finish it together.

What the fuck is this?

If we're gonna win,
it'll be hand in hand with my dad.

Ugh, dude. Come on!

Listen.

Don't start too fast.
It's not about speed, yeah?

Give yourselves time
to get the lay of the land.

- Yeah.
- Take care of yourselves.

And if you don't have fun,
I'll disown you!

No fear of death anymore!

What's up?

Preciado!
Preciado! Preciado! Preciado!

Come on, goddamn it!

Come on!

THE SWEDE

THE OLD MAN

CHRIST ADDICTS

I want you to know that I had nothing
to do with what they did to the car.

Sure.

Get out of the way. I'm ready to race.
I don't have time for this.

Good job.

Listen to me, motherfuckers.

When you get back, I'm taking the garage.

I have your signature, huh?

You're fucking done!

Hey, prick, I'm talking to you!
Why are you closing it?

You're gonna regret it, fuckers!
I own your ass!

Concentrate.

He's a stupid old fart.
Plus, his mouth smells like ass.

Ladies
and gentlemen, La Bestia's about to start.

The first car to leave
is the Candelario brothers' Mustang.

It's the Abitia brothers' turn.

Look at all the heads turning!

This car has really
attracted us all, Toño.

Ready!

Set!

Let's go!

Like my grandma said,
this is not about speed.

HOUR 1

Let's switch, dude.
It's your turn. We can do it now.

Better not.

Why not?

Uh...

Trust me, I'm a terrible driver.

- Leave it!
- Yeah.

The Candelario brothers
still in the lead,

closely followed by The Swede.

Meanwhile, the Abitia brothers
are falling more and more behind.

HOUR 5

You have to feel it.
It's like a choreography.

- You have to change it to fourth.
- What, now?

- Well, when you feel it. I'm not driving.
- Ah yeah!

- Ah yeah!
- Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!
Nice, buddy. Nice, man.

Hey.

- Don't fall asleep!
- Why are you hitting me? Look forward!

I'm scared!

How can you be scared
when there's nothing in front of you?

Fucking lady!
Will you just move it already?

Fuckers!

Roadwork has slowed down...

I think that guy
is out of the race.

The Swiss, your boyfriend, how's he doing?

Oh, he's not my boyfriend!

Game over!

HOUR 12

Don't fall asleep, buddy.

Fuck man, you have to keep me...

...awake during the trip.
That's the wingman's job.

I have an idea.
I'm gonna tell you a horror story.

- Tell me.
- Best damn story ever.

HOUR 26

The Abitias
are doing the impossible.

They're actually catching up
to Marén and the Swede!

Slow down! You're going too fast!

Why would we slow down?
We're about to win!

No fear of death anymore!

I'm afraid of death, dude!

I'm terrified of passing away!

The remnants
of Cyclone Kimberly

raised a cloud of dust in El Muerto,

a critical area
that the drivers are battling through.

My God!

This fucking dust, dude. Come on, man!

We're in El Muerto.

Hold the steering wheel
for me real quick.

Okay, I'm done, dude.

- Better.
- I can't see anything!

All this dust.

Fucking windshield wipers
don't work for shit, dude.

I can't see!

- I can't see through the storm.
- Just don't go too fast, okay?

Why?

No! Wait a second!

No! Wait! No, Preciado!

Watch it!

- I can't hear you!
- Pull the wipers out of the way!

Don't go too fast!

Hey, Preciado...

Oh my God! Oh my God!
Oh my God! Oh my God!

Hey, Preciado!

Preciado!

Preciado!

Preciado!

This is turning into
a dire situation.

These drivers can't see in front of them.
Let's hope there's not an accident.

Preciado!

Jesus!

Preciado!

Dude! Preciado!

Preciado!

Wake up, dude.
No, no, no! Come on, Preciado.

Preciado!

Wake up, dude. Hey! Hey! Preciado.

Romeo! Romeo!

- Is he okay?
- Oh shit!

- We have to carry him.
- Let's carry him.

- Hold him up.
- One, two, three.

Let's go.

- Go, go, go!
- Careful!

Get to the car! Run!

No, no, no. You can't die!

- What the hell? What happened?
- I don't know! He fell out of the window.

We have to take him to a hospital, now!

- Is he dead or what?
- He's not dead, man!

- It won't start!
- Wake up, man!

- Why aren't we moving?
- It won't start!

- It's not turning over.
- What's happening?

- It's not starting. Really, it isn't!
- What do you want me to do?

If we don't do something,
he's not gonna make it!

What the fuck do you want me to do, man?

What was that?

- What's happening?
- What's going on?

What do you want me to do?

Marén, Marén!

We're gonna die! We're gonna die!

- Shit, we're not gonna die!
- What the fuck?

- What's going on?
- Dude.

What the fuck
do you want me to do, man?

Yeah!

Oh fuck yeah! Yeah, Mocorito!

Is he breathing, or no?

Just check.

Well, hot air is coming out.

There's no choice.

Ay! Oh!

- I'm glad you're okay.
- Where's my hat?

- Up, up.
- Careful. Are you okay, Preciado?

- Yeah.
- You didn't break anything?

- No.
- We have to get you to a hospital now.

- No, no. I'm fine.
- You sure?

- Yeah, we do, man. What are you saying?
- No, I'm fine.

What do you mean "fine"?

It turned on!

Marén!

Let's go!

I'm not going. How can I leave you alone?

- I'm all right.
- You can still win the race.

The cars got lost in the dust back there.

- Let's go!
- We have to go to the hospital, moron.

- Sure?
- I'll take you...

Wait, man!

Yeah, go. We're also leaving too.
Let's win, yeah?

- Good luck, fellas.
- We need to get you to the hospital!

- I'm coming!
- I'll take it from here.

You don't wanna
go to the hospital?

No, I'm fine.

- Go win!
- We got this!

- Like hell!
- This is crazy!

Thanks, Godfather.

Let's do this.

We're very close to Bahía Colorada.
It's, uh...

Just one more turn and we're there.

You see the split up there?

We're gonna go to the left.

LONG BEACH

What are you doing, fucker?

Oh yeah, yeah!

We're gonna win the race. Fuck yeah!

What's up, little girl?

Shit. Shit. Be careful!

Marén!

Fuck yeah!

Fuck yeah!

Marén! Marén! Marén!

Romeo.

- Are you kidding me?
- What the hell?

Your debt.

I don't care about that anymore.

Come on. Follow my finger.

Ah, again with that?

Hey, stop that shit, man. Hop in.

Please forgive me.

No, it was my fault.

I... I was also being an idiot,

putting my dumb ass
in the window and everything. Ts!

I'm fine.

You're not understanding, dude.

Please forgive me.

This tastes like shit,
and it's still warm.

Yeah. I mean, the fridge doesn't work.

It's just a prop.

And yeah,

I forgive you.

Bro, do you think

my dad will forgive me?

Wherever he is.

He once told me
that no one was gonna hurt me.

Imagine!

He dedicated the last rally to me.

Imagine!

Well, I think we're even, right?

So, uh,

what was your mom like?

Oh. Oh.

A great dancer.

She made her noodle soup.

Out of this world!

She was levelheaded.

And very optimistic.

I guess that's where you get it from.

Yeah. Yeah.

From my dad, I think I got...

...being a fucking loser, you know?

Yeah, I got that gene.

We're destined for failure, right?

So it seems. Whatever.

Well, let's finish the rally.
It's not too late.

Why?

Already here. Come on.

- Even if it's just for pride. Right, man?
- Yeah.

Well, it turns out

they weren't so destined for failure
in the end.

I mean, they did finish last, right?

But Preciado made his name
with his talent for tuning cars,

and the workshop became a business.

The band was offered
a record deal with a label.

By a good record label?
No way! It was shitty.

But with that, they paid off Romeo's debt.

And guess who ended up
joining the band Lágrimas Norteñas?

NORTHERN TEARS

Whoo!

Well, the next song is
an original.

It's called "Mujer, eres letal."

And we are Lágrimas Norteñas!