The Adventures of Gerard (1970) - full transcript

[SPANISH GUITAR
MUSIC PLAYING]

[MARCHING MUSIC PLAYING]

Fire!Fire!

OFFICER: Fire!

GERARD: The Emperor entered
Spain to forestall an invasion
of France from the south.

Napoleon Bonaparte was
the master of all Europe

except for some stubborn
British beefeaters

under the command
of Milord Wellington.

It is not for us soldiers
to think of politics,

but it always seemed to me,
Etienne Gerard,

Colonel of the Hussars
of Conflans, that there was
something a trifle



topsy-turvy about
that war in Spain.

The sun-kissed climate
was against us.

[SOLDIERS GROANING]

[SNEEZING]

The British Army wore
skirts against us.

The entire people waged
guerilla war against us.

[CLAMORING]

Even the very outlaws were
against us.

Disguised as friars
on a pilgrimage,

they infested
the mountains led by
a renegade English officer

known as
Marshall Millefleurs,

a fitting candidate
for the gallows.

And how did the Emperor
manage in this crisis?

I did not blame him
for his ill humor.



His voice thrilled
through each of us.

Never was he more harsh,
more menacing.

More sinister.

A letter
for the Empress.

No, on the cheek,

keep your mouth closed
while you're doing it.

GERARD: A gallant man says
nothing of another's
private life,

but when I consider
Andre Massena,

Marshall of France,
the truth must be told.

Wellington! Wellington!

What kind of Marshall
are you?

GERARD: The greatest
of Napoleon's generals,

he'd been given orders
to drive the British
into the sea,

but instead,
he got cut off laying siege
to the castle of Morales,

the key position in
the British lines.

It is not for a soldier
to question his superiors,

but the reason eludes me
why Massena chose

to parade his starving
infantry within
the range of enemy guns.

A touch of spice was added
by the lovely Teresa,

Countess of Morales,
whose uncle owned
this impregnable castle.

A hussar could wish
no fairer enemy.

It was said of my regiment

that we could set
a whole population running.

The women towards us
and the men away.

We hussars were the pick
of the cavalry,

the officers were the pick
of the hussars,

and I was the pick
of the officers.

The Emperor's Spanish campaign
is well-documented,

yet the remarkable part
that I, Etienne Gerard,
played in it

has somehow been overlooked.

Truth now compels me
to fill the gap

with a few details
of that kind which distinguish
fact from fantasy.

[TRIUMPHANT MARCHING
MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

If he's too stupid,
the English or the Spaniards
will catch him at once.

A written message,
it must be that.

Otherwise, when he is
caught and tortured,
the fool may play the hero

and not reveal it. Lasalle!

[EXCLAIMS]

Ah!

Come here.

[MEN CLAMORING]

[CLATTERING]I...

I have asked Lasalle
and his staff to join us.

Thank you, Sire.

I suppose, Lasalle,
you have some gallant

young officers
in your command.

They are
all that, Sire.

Are they all fools?

No, they're
not all fools.

[WHISPERING]
I want one that is.

RUSSELL: Whig!

Where the devil are you?

Whig?

[WHIG BARKING]

You shall be taught
your drill, you know.

Now, some behavior
from you, you rascal.

Fetch.

I confess to a single tear.

I am not ashamed
to have you know
I am filled with emotion

at the approach
of my Emperor.

A single tear for what
he is about to see.

And he has not had me wait
one single minute

over the hour.

We have come together,
myself and those unfortunate
fellows in red

and my Emperor.

Savor it now!

Do you see me,
my Emperor?

Do you see me?
Etienne Gerard of
the Hussars of Conflans

ride down your enemies.

NAPOLEON: Do you know
that clown there?

OFFICER: Colonel Gerard
of hussars.

Has he been with us,
served with us
for some time?

OFFICER: His first shout was
on the field of Marengo.

What did he shout, hmm?

GERARD: Long live Bonaparte!

[GROANS IN PAIN]

[SCREAMS IN PAIN]

[GROANS IN PAIN]

Has he ever been
wounded in the head?

OFFICER: I expect so,
it's a very popular place.

His brains are not
in his head.

Fine fellow,
your Emperor.

We would die
for him!He knows.

He must know.He does know.

Colonel Etienne Gerard,
Hussars of Conflans.

Colonel Russell,
Coldstream Guards.

You are in
a pickle, sir.

You hold your doggie.

What slaughter.

You must be done up.

COACHMAN: Hey, hey!

[CRACKING WHIP]

I will enjoy
a bout with you.

Do you find a chance
of it tomorrow,
when we're both free of duty.

Of course.

I am delighted
to have met your Emperor.

I shall kill you
here tomorrow.

But my Emperor may not
come again this week,
this particular place.

Should we come up
before sunrise,

early in the morning,
before the sun is hot

as it is now.

I may have
Lord Wellington see us.

I salute Lord Wellington!

Most of us do.Of course!

Indeed.Oh, dear fellow.

What a splendid horse.Your dog.

I have no scars.

I am a nonentity.

Funny fellow, eh, Whig?

He's a funny little
French fellow.

PAPILETTE: Colonel!GERARD: Papilette!

I need a scar.

My backside is worn
to a thread.
Long live the Emperor!

I've got some lice,
of course.

I need a scar,
Papilette.

Hero of 100 fights,

up and down
the battlefields
of Europe,

and I haven't
a single scar.

Would you like one
like mine, Colonel?

Um, a little more
befitting my, um,

rank, Papilette.

Sir.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Papilette.

Ready?

Strike!

My trustworthy Papilette!

[EXHALES]

I love my Emperor
more than I can express!

I have seen Napoleon
10 times on horseback
and once on foot,

and I think he does wisely
to show himself to
his troops in this fashion,

for he cuts
a very good figure
in the saddle.

[TRIUMPHANT HORN MELODY]

I believe
you are the very man.

Hmm? Hmm?

[OFFICERS WHISPERING]

Brave and clever men
surround me on all sides.

He holds my medals.
He makes them sing for him.

What woman could
compare to this?

With his big, round head
and his clean-shaven face

and his body that is
too long for his legs.

He looks more like
a professor of the Sorbonne

than the first soldier
of France.

You've been with me
since, mmm...

Marengo, I believe.

I believe you
saw me this afternoon.
You saw me!

So you won
this medal at Marengo?

And this one at Jena.

And this one at...

Uh, Austerlitz.

Austerlitz?Austerlitz.

And this one at...

Fried... Friedland?

[EXCLAIMING]

What are these medals
compared to this?

[ALL GASPING]

That?This!

Twinkle, twinkle,
little star.

You shall be given
the opportunity
to win this.

Fifty thousand Spaniards
against one man.

[STAMMERING] Me?

GERARD: The star
of the Legion of Honor.

All medals are mere tinsel
compared to this.

If I have not yet
received the star,

it is not for want
of having deserved it.

I would give half my arrears
of pay to have my mother
see me now.

I am to be emissary
of the Emperor!

Is he?

Mmm...

You are.

I shall show you
your route.

GERARD: I was aware
that the Emperor had
no great respect for my wits,

and I longed
to show him he had
done me an injustice.

This was my opportunity.

The destiny of France
lay heavily on Napoleon,

and I was invited
to share it.

[LOUD CLAMORING]

[YELLING]

[BULL BELLOWING]

[SCREAMING]

[BULL SNORTS]

[SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING]

[BULL BELLOWS]

I did not move
an inch.

One round. Canister.

Wait!

You shall not kill
a bull of Spain.

Not by heaven.
By shot, never.

Senora!

PEDRO: Ole! Ole!

Senora!

TERESA: Hey, toro!

Madame,you hold
the Emperor's map.

Madame...I do not wish
your thanks.

Well, how can
I repay you?

You can leave Spain.

Then I shall leave you.

I was not aware, madame,
that you'd ever been
with me.

Are you of society?
If you are of society,

you shall not
ever be rude.

I am the Countess
of Morales.

And I shall be as rude
as I think fitting.

Well, then, Countess,

how can I express
my gratitude for your...

You may give me
a safe conduct to Morales.

I do not wish to be
robbed, rifled and raped
by your common soldiers.

Sire, it is fortuitous.

I shall have the honor
to accompany the Countess.

I am the emissary
of the Emperor.

My route will take me
by way of Morales...

Excellent, Lasalle,
we couldn't have made
a wiser choice.

What do you make
of it, Colonel?

Oh, I make
a lot of it.

I am to be the trusted
carrier of dispatches

for the Emperor
of the French.

My dolman bursts
with pride.

Who should
clink his spurs
and rattle his saber

if not I?
Etienne Gerard.

OFFICER: Aim! Fire!

The chosen swordsman
of the Light Cavalry.

The trusted and well-beloved
confidant of the Emperor.

But why should
the Emperor tell
us his plans?

OFFICER: Aim!Because he recognizes
our work.

OFFICER: Fire!

I am smitten
with doubts, Colonel.

Not like you,
old Papilette.

I wish you would
tell me of them,
that I,

with my officer's
quicker intelligence,

might set
the matter straight.

But the whole army
knows that you are to
carry a message.

Who doesn't know
can tell by
your own strutting.

Fetch me a girl who'll
undress herself and stand
in the way for Spain!

[STAMMERING] I...

[GUITAR STRUMS]

Do you see it?No, I don't see it.

Do you?

[CHUCKLING]
Yes, I do.

Ah...

Colonel, I'm afraid
I saw it all,

being a good bit short
on your hand.

My apologies.What is that
hussar's name?

I do not know, sir.
He is newly joined.

It is a standing order
that no Hussar of Conflans,
and certainly not one of mine,

shall enter any place
of ill repute
or lewd entertainment.

Yes, sir.

Now pick up his saddle
and follow me.

[CHUCKLING]
Yes, sir.

Pay attention, Papilette.

Danger lurks
in every doorway.

[YELLING]

[HUSSAR MOANING]

What is your route?
How much ammunition, boy?
Do you carry? It is vital.

[GROANING IN PAIN]

Come here
and I'll tell you.

Closer.

Closer.

[LAUGHING]

[CONTINUES GROANING]

What rations, please?

How many guns, men, horses?

I am a soldier of France.

I am a woman of Spain!

[HUSSAR SCREAMING]

You should not
be flirting.

I shall be flirting
for Spain.

[SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING]

GERARD: How she blossomed
out in my presence,
this woman.

Like a flower before the sun.

She lit up all of our faces
with her beauty.

She must have read
the admiration in my eyes,

and I fancied I read
something of the same
in her own.

LASALLE:
Where's the Colonel?

My Colonel is in
the hay, sir.

Well, get him out
of the hay!

Sir.

My Colonel. A gentleman.
Always takes his boots off.

[SILENTLY]

[WHISPERING]
Sound the charge.

[TRUMPET CHARGE BLOWING]

Papilette,
and in splendid time.

To horse, sir,
not to hay.

Hop! Hey!

[SIGHS]

LASALLE: Third button
from the top.

This dispatch
to Marshall Massena
in the south.

You will take
your troupe down to
the Sierra Morena.

Then you ride on your own.
You face overwhelming odds.

Marshall Massena has
not been reached
by courier for weeks.

I am delighted.

I think you are.You know I am.

I shall guard the Emperor's
dispatch with my life.

I am the emissary
of the Emperor!

Trumpeter!

[SNIFFS]

GERARD: Papilette,
first 12, follow me.

PAPILETTE: Sir.
First 12. Remainder,
fall out.

To Maillard, hat maker,
Rue St.-Honore,

I shall not pay
any more bills
for any more hats,

and you are very close
to treason to suggest
that I do.

To Marshall Massena...

To Marshall Massena,
I say that I have
this day set in motion

a subterfuge to have
you out of the grip
of Morales.

What I have done is have
the biggest fool in my army
carry to you a false dispatch.

You're to get yourself
out of your spot you're in
when you see movements

set about by the capture
of my false dispatch.

Marmaluke, how many?

Eight, Sire.

Mmm, that's not bad.

[PIGEONS COOING]

Hey!

[HUSSARS YELLING]

Madame,you have
your safe conduct.

Will you not give me
one glance from

the most beautiful eyes
in Spain?

[SHOUTS]

[MOCKING SHOUT]

Colonel, this poor soul's
got a bullet in his brain.

GERARD: Who had done this?

The enemy? Guerillas?
Millefleurs' bandits?

Fighting should be done
between one army and another.

What glory is there in killing
an ignorant peasant?

Papilette, see to the men.
Their wants.

A merry night if they wish,
but a short one.

PAPILETTE: Sir.
That house. The windows.
A watch fire. Two sentries.

The horse line's lit.

Two women. Don't be choosy.
The first two over twelve.
And no wine.

[MEN LAUGHING]

Papilette.Sir.

Create a disturbance.

[GUNSHOT]

[STAMMERING]

INNKEEPER: Come in.

PAPILETTE: Ah-ha!

I'm a friend
to the French.

[CHUCKLING
NERVOUSLY]

Eh?

[LAUGHS]

We are likeable people.
We inspire devotion.

Even so, monsieur,
you will have to
share a room.

Tell the lady
she need have
nothing to fear.

[LAUGHS]

[HUMS LA MARSEILLAISE]

Madame,Colonel
Etienne Gerard,
Hussars of Conflans.

Madame.

I am to share
your bath... Bed.

Which may fill you
with dread.

But you need have no fear.

My Emperor is here.

I intend to keep
my boots on.

Sir, would you oblige me
and pull off my boots.

Do you wrinkle
your nose?

Do you have
no courtesy, sir?

[GRUNTING]

Thank you, sir.
You are polite.

Now, um...

Indeed, yes!

It is my pleasure.I have no beard
to speak of.

Modesty.

You're obviously making
heavy weather of it.

I know what it is.
A day in the sun,

the face raw,
all tug and scratch.

Not in the least, sir.

Come now, young man.

My mother would not
have used this to
slice a sausage.

I shall now be on my way.

With your face still soaped?

[WHISPERING]

[EXHALES]

[WHISPERING]
Senora.

Leave my nose alone.

I will shave you, sir.

That is no reason for you
to make free with my nose.

If you must shave me,
then do so, but keep
your finger and thumb

where they belong,
which is not on my nose.
Very well?

Very well.

[GASPING]

Was it not close enough
for you?

No. I mean, yes.

Is it over?

I think
it is about to begin.

You would kiss me?

You are not agreeable, eh?

You flirt like a young woman
and you are not agreeable.

I am not agreeable
to any such thing.
I am a lady...

Lad. Lad.

Now, nurse, quick.

When my beautiful horse
Rataplan is in a lather

and a sweat, what a horse.

What quarters on him.

When he is in a sweat,
I walk him. Come.

In the dark?In the moonlight. Often.

Moonlight is
the perfect mirror.

What is seen is there.

You cannot know
what I see.

I know what you see.

If you stay
a moment longer...

Then I am free to go?

To my regret.

Madame.

Your right to leave
has never been
in question.

GERARD: I have been
carrying out my mission
to Massena

in an honorable manner.

But now I have done
that which a gentleman
would condemn.

I have passed on letters
of tender love

from ladies the length
and breadth of the Empire
as Massena's dispatches.

I can only offer
a soldier's excuse.

One cannot avoid stooping
low in guerilla warfare,
even to deceive a woman.

"Darling, darling,
darling, darling."

A simple code, senora.
Four darlings,
four French regiments.

"I am longing
to feel your head
between my breasts."

The French army
between the two sierras.

[EXCLAIMING]

"And your arm around..."

Napoleon's headquarters.

[LAUGHS]

"Must I tell you
again and again?

"My husband is a weak,
poor, jealous creature."

"I am greatly mortified
at his conduct.

"He dragged me onto
his terrible person..."

I must have
that Frenchman.

Good morning, my Emperor.

Good day, Colonel Gerard,
and how is your wounds?
Is they healed?

My wounds never heal.

And why is that, sir?

Because I always have
new ones.

Papilette!First two forward.

The way is clear, sir.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

[MEN YELLING]

[MEN WHOOPING]

It's hopeless, Colonel.

Colonel.

Run, Colonel, run!

Run? Never. Not ever.

But, Colonel,
you ride for the Emperor.
The dispatch.

Papilette, bravo.

Ha!

Shoot!

You're perfect, madame.

Stop! Stop!

I'll see you hanged!

[DIALOG SPED UP
AND UNINTELLIGIBLE]

I am no ordinary-looking man.

In the whole Light Cavalry,

it would be hard to find
a finer pair of whiskers.

I do have a way about me.

[HORSES APPROACHING]

Whig, come here,
damn you.

Up and down
and round back
by Dublin.

Whig! Where the devil
are you? Come here.

Have them watered
two by two.
What's your name?

You and your common fellows
may settle over there.

But do not have
any man jack touch
himself in that pond

until I have had
my kettle pot filled.

[WHIG BARKING]

Hey, Whig.
Leave the fellow
to rest, eh?

What was that?A wheel.

Oh.

One of ours?

[WHIG BARKING]

What have you got, Whig?

You got a birdie,
have you?

You've got a roast birdie.

Now if it's
a fresh roast birdie,

we must find
the owner at once
and pay him for it.

It is a fresh roast birdie.
Set it down, Whig.

Come on, set it down.
Come now, Whig,
set it down,

will you,
you scapegrace.

[GROWLING]

Wheel!

Wheel!

Very well, Will.

Here you are.

And do you
poor people look after
your things you eat?

Give me my wheel.

Senora!

Colonel Russell,
Coldstream Guards.

I have not your wheel.

You are surrounded
by French.

Oh, come now.You are. Certainly.

And you, fellow?

Do not have any person blamed
for your improvidence
but yourself.

You deserve to starve.

Spain is burning,
tortured, raped, defiled

by such as you
and your kind.

Your hands smear blood
across our country.

What is Spain to you?
To Napoleon?
To Wellington?

To that peacock Gerard?

RUSSELL: I don't think
that is quite fair.

I have seen the horror
you bring with your scum.
You dishonor our churches.

[EXCLAIMING WILDLY]

Drink your tea, Englishman.

Ally. Friend to Spain.

Whilst through your line,
a Frenchman sneaks.

The dispatch for Massena
from Napoleon is carried
through under your nose.

But I wish victory
for none but Spain.

I am lost to you.

I knew as soon
as we set foot ashore,

that we were not
in any way welcome.

You shall have
your sneaking Frenchman.

What a fine woman you are,
with your rant and rave

and society.

I am enraptured.

I am captured.

Whig? Whig.

Whig!

[WHIG BARKING]

Come on, Whig!

[HORSE WHINNIES]

Pedro. Assault me!

Wait.

Come. It is for Spain.

The man who can mix
daring with timidity,

who can be outrageous
with an air of humility

and presumptuous
with a tone of deference,

that is the man
who mothers have to fear.

[SCREAMING]

Get this man off me.

[PEDRO YELLING]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Hey!

TERESA: One moment, please.

And now we find out
what information you have.

You are caught
by your own chivalry.

Always, madame.

I can never fight a lady.

The dispatch to Massena.
Tell me.

What?

I shall say please.

I think not.

Very well.

I shall have you whipped.

Hey!

GERARD: With that, madame,
you will achieve nothing.

Perhaps. But with this.

I am the barber now.

I think not.

I think so.

The Emperor himself
approved my mustache.

Very well.

Tell me where you have
the dispatch?

In my head, madame.

You may cut my mustache.
I shall never
give way to you.

Not ever, though you shave
the whole of my head.

PEDRO: Millefleurs!

[GASPING]

Marshall Millefleurs.

By the grace of God,

English spoken.

MILLEFLEURS: Do you know
a young man called Soubiron?

A tallish youth,
light hair,
your regiment.

I do.

[GROANS]

[SOFTLY] I do.

We buried him.

Thank you.

Poor Soubiron.

How did he die?

We buried him. Alive.

PEDRO: Hey,
senora! Senora...

[BABBLING INCOHERENTLY]

Senora,remember
to feed the horse!

Your clean linen is
in the lowest drawer
of the bedroom drawer.

[BOTH YELLING
INCOHERENTLY]

My mother...

[BOTH SCREAMING]

What shall I do with him?

Keep holding him.

[RINGS WEAKLY]

GERARD: I have never
been a religious man,

but I was distressed
to see the old monastery
now a nest of bandits.

Millefleurs had a delicate
sense of hearing.

He delighted only
in the shrieks
of the tortured.

Whimpers for mercy.
Screams of the dying.

He also had a reputation
for cruel wit and ingenuity.

I long to measure
my own again his.

A saber's length
would be enough.

[GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING]

[TUNING]

[CHUCKLING]

And now who's going
to play for the woman.

Me.

MILLEFLEURS: You?

Frenchman?

If only your Emperor
could see you now.

GERARD: I accept.

Candle.

[MILLEFLEURS
SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[GUNSHOT]

You, Frenchman.

You will fly through
the air tomorrow,

but tonight you may
sleep with your woman.

Go.

You two, bind them.

[TERESA GROANING]

Don't kiss me.

I can't kiss you.

There will be a time
when you may kiss me.

[HARP STRINGS CREAKING]

[SNORING]

[GUNSHOT]

Jump!

[GROANING]

[SNORING]

My Emperor.

Colonel Etienne Gerard is
through to the mountains.

Your dispatch is on its way
to Marshall Massena.

What pigeons were sent
to Massena?

Is it important, Sire?

It is important!

[MEN SCREAMING]

What do you mean?
What kind of Marshall are you?

You cannot even get me
bonbons from Paris.

Marshall.

OFFICER: Marshall Massena.

Marshall, Marshall...

You've got to stop
your soldiers from banging
off their dreadful cannon.

I would be delighted
to stop them.

Most of the time
it is aimed at me
by the English.

Stop them at once.Go away.

I met be killed.Marshall...

Go away!A dispatch
from the Emperor.

The pigeons have arrived.

[EXPLOSION]

Long live the Emperor!
We are saved.

We are...

We must acknowledge
this at once.

My carrier pigeons.
My pigeons.

My pigeons?

[SNIFFING]

My pigeons!

A fine blue sky.

Can you see
where you're going?

At least I die alone.

It would have been nicer.
Women split easier.

Feel my very pulse.

Ah, truly magnificent.

[GUNSHOT]

In the name of
His Britannic Majesty!

What a servant
he would have made.

Both boots off
my feet in one.

We meet at last.

My funny little
French coward.

I think not, sir.

I am the best blade
in the six Light Cavalry
brigades of Napoleon.

And I am an indifferent
hack and thrust man

from His Majesty's
Foot Guards.

[EXCLAIMS AGGRESSIVELY]

[EXCLAIMS AGAIN]

[SCOFFS]

Play.

[TROOPS PLAYING BAGPIPES]

Ha!

Stop! He is
my prisoner.

You may have whatever
you wish, Countess.

TERESA: I want him.Thank you.

RUSSELL: Oh,
I could not do that.

He is mine.GERARD: I am.

What do we have
that you want him so?

Ha, ha!

The dispatch to Massena.

Are those Massena's guns?

I never know.

They all sound
much the same to me.

[CHUCKLES] You are
a splendid little fellow.

If only you'd been born
on the right side
of the Channel.

But I was!

[EXCLAIMS]

Ha!

You...

You could have
killed me.

You were very late.

I was not expecting it.

You've never done
that before. Ha!

I have other,
more urgent business
to attend to.

I salute you, sir.

I salute you, sir.

I shall be at your pleasure
in half of an hour's time.

At this very place.

At this very place.

GERARD: It was convenient
for me to disengage

and complete
my mission to Massena.

TERESA: Stop or I'll shoot.

Stop!

[GUNSHOT]

You were lucky
to be out of my range.

Yes.

And now we will
wait for him.

Fire!

Fire!

[MEN GROANING]

Fire!

Fire!

I am the carrier
of dispatches
to Marshall Massena.

[MASSENA
AND MADELEINE LAUGHING]

Etienne Gerard,
the Hussars of Conflans.

You are dead.

I am not dead.

They all tried,
but I am not.

Captured, tortured,
near split down the middle.

Englishmen, ladies,
Spaniards, they all
found nothing.

My Emperor's dispatches.

Ah.

[SNIFFS]

Yours!

It is better
you were dead,
young man.

Far better.

The Emperor expects
you dead.

You were meant to die.

Your message captured.

The English tricked
into leaving the castle

of Morales.

[ALL YELLING]

Madeleine.

Madeleine, look at me.

Oh!

[GASPING]

I shall die now!

Very well.

I command you to die,
young man.

Mount your horse.
Clear your mind.

Kiss your mother.
Do not have any hate.

Forgive your debtors.
Put a brave face on it.

And shouting
as loud as you can

so you do not hear
yourself crying.

Ride from here to a place
where you will be
shot and stripped

by the English.

There's a good boy.
For France.

It's the only way
you may face us all.

Your Emperor.
The armies of France.
Dead is the way.

[LAUGHING]

I shall die!

[MADELEINE SCREAMS]But I shall destroy
the castle of Morales with me.

Lord Wellington, please.

Damn me, if I ain't
got a hold on him.

I've got Boney.

He can't flank me
by marching.

He can't carry Morales
by storm because he ain't
got the men.

He can't actually avoid it
in any main event,

so he's got to come.

GERARD: The Emperor
was marching
with irresistible force

against the immovable beef
of Old England.

He would make a meal of them,
and I intended to
cut my slice.

I would show him
that if he thought I had
the thickest head in the army,

I also had
the stoutest sword arm.

Russell would be
myhors d'oeuvres.

The English
and their cup of tea.

What is this elixir
that commands everything
to come to a complete halt?

War. Lovemaking. Dueling.

For a good Beaujolais,
a glass of champagne,
a final brandy, yes,

but a cup of tea?

What singular enemies
the English make.

Really, for all
their chivalry,
one cannot cross sabers

with a teaspoon.

RUSSELL: Do you box?

No.

Do you kick?

What about...

Hurry or they will
kill each other.

My horse against yours.Done.

Sword against sword.

Done.

Saddle, bridle
and stirrups.

Done.

And my freedom?

Done.

I have won.

I hold the king.

On the contrary,
it is I who have won,
for my king holds you.

[WHIG BARKING]

And by dawn,

unless you've spiked
every gun that I've got,

I'll have that other
little fellow.

Yours.

The one with the big hat
and little legs
that kisses you all.

My Emperor.

Courage. Courage,
my brave boy.

You're not a colonel
of hussars at 28

because you can
dance cotillion.

You're a picked man, Etienne,
a man who's come through
more than 200 affairs.

And this little one is surely
not going to be the last.

Never.

So that we might continue.

Ah!

You are at an immediate
disadvantage, sir.

It worries me
not a jot, sir.

It worries me
greatly, sir.

You are
considerate, sir.

I deem it a pleasure.Thank you, dear fellow.

Dear friend,

do you happen to know
which key is yours?

This one.

It is for France.

MORALES: Who is there?

Who is there?

It's me, Uncle.

Teresa.

Yes, Uncle.

There is someone else.

No, it's only me.

I can hear

another heartbeat.

You are wrong, Uncle.

I am alone.

Who is with you?

Colonel Etienne Gerard,
of Napoleon Bonaparte's army.

A Frenchman?

A Frenchman.

In the castle of Morales?

TERESA:
It is for Spain.

GERARD: I did not expect
to be received socially
anywhere in Spain.

We French were not invited
to this country.

Though I am used
to the surprises of war,

never before did I confront
a blind adversary.

It would have been ill-bred
and tactless to saber
the uncle of a future wife

of a colonel of hussars.

Gerard.

Etienne.

Etienne.

Countess.

Teresa.

Teresa.

I am beginning
to understand how...

Yes. I too begin
to understand

that, uh,

what matters in a man's life
is not only war.

There is love.

Yes.

Yes, there is love.

I want to tell you now...

Yes, tell me.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

RUSSELL: In the name
of His Britannic Majesty,

open this door.

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

Colonel Russell.

Out.

Sir John.

Sir John.

Countess.

Teresa, Sir John.

John.

I...

I am beginning to understand

what matters most of all
in a man's life is not war.

Yes, I know.

It's love.

Yes.

Yes, love.

Get up, Frenchman.

There is no need
to dishonor the lady.

Russell.Guard!

GERARD: I will not fight
with rabble before a lady.

Countess, I shall return
in splendor!

GERARD: To be executed
as a common spy
dressed in a hated red coat,

not even a soldier's death.

What would the Emperor say?

Oh, what an end,
what a dismal end

for the finest swordsman
in France.

Russell!

I refuse to die
dressed in this costume!

SOLDIER: About turn!

[DOGS WHINING]

Thank you.

[DRUM ROLL]

[YELLING]

It is for you,
not for Spain.

[SPURS HORSE]

GERARD: Hounds, dogs of war,

the unfamiliar cut
of the red coats
and the strange hats

would appear like some
new regiments preparing
a sortie.

But no, the English were
about to go a-hunting

across a battlefield.

[DOGS BARKING WILDLY]

A charge, Sire?

A few horsemen
attacking my army?
Ridiculous.

Bring up a battery.

I confess.
Amid all the danger,

there is something ridiculous
about the situation.

Truly they are
an extraordinary people,
the English.

And yet, at this moment,
it is upon me,
this spirit of sport,

this desire to excel,
this hatred of the fox,
the cursed animal.

Your hour has come!

[WHOOPING]

Do you ride with me?

Leave them all
and ride with me.

I can never leave
my Emperor.

Still there.

Disappointed me again,
that Massena.

[HORSE NEIGHING]

[HOLLERING]

I trust you've not
hurt yourself, madame.

Sire.

Some day, I hope
to have the opportunity

to relate to you
of the dangers
which I overcame

to deliver your orders
to Marshall Massena.

Yes, just let me
assure you that he has
received them safely.

And as a result...

GERARD: Chance was about
to make one of those
random gestures

the Emperor appreciated.

Did he not always prefer
lucky generals to good ones?

There are times when
the most supreme impudence

is the highest wisdom.

The castle of Morales

will blow up.

[MEN CHEERING]

To have the acclaim
of the entire army,

and that my Emperor
should see me,
it brings tears to my eyes.

And here, Sire,
is my good English friend

Colonel Russell
to surrender
his forces to you.

That was not
very sporting of you.

I was only doing
my duty, Russell.

The castle had
to be destroyed.

That. What I mean is,
you do not ride uninvited
with the hunt

and snatch away the fox.

It is not done.

Countess.

It is not...

It is not
our day, Colonel.

I fear
it is not, Countess.

And now,
may we please
have him back?

Hmm? Ah.

Thank you, sir.

[RUSSELL WHOOPING]

I ask you
to come down.

I have nothing
to offer you beyond myself

and

my devotion.

But this is surely
no mean thing.

It is not a mean thing.

He who has your devotion
has a very fine thing.

But I...

I love you, Teresa,
Countess of Morales.

You don't love me,
Colonel Etienne Gerard,

you love him.

I suppose you've earned
your star after all.

Wear it.

GERARD: And what
will you do now?

I will...

I will remain here.

It is for Spain.

Papilette!

PAPILETTE: My Colonel!