Tender Scoundrel (1966) - full transcript

TENDER SCOUNDREL

Mademoiselle!... Mademoiselle!

You forgot something.
You forgot to look at me.

Yes! Look at me!
Is that unusual?

Your profile - is now like cameos.

I see us together, depicted on the coin.

We need, I do not know...
We need to create a family home...

...so we were like each other.
Yes, a family home.

Big fire, big dog lying near the fireplace.

Leave me alone!

You're so stupid!
- Help!



Murderer! Let go of me!

No, what's that!

Go away! Get out!

I don't like crazies.

Can I give you a lift somewhere?

I do not know...
- I've the car.

Okay, I'm going to Montaigne Avenue .

Divine providence sent me.
I'm going to George V Avenue.

Why are you looking at me?

I'm trying to recall your face.

I have already seen you somewhere.
I'm sure of it.

Don't say, don't say where.
I'll recall myself.

Monte Carlo, on the beach.

Not at all, I never been there.



However, I've seen you in a bathing suit.

You can't forget this.

Wait... I remember.

Capri!
- No.

Not either?

I have a poor memory!

I'm quiting smoking.

And you haven't been in Portofino on August 15th?

Nope. I was in Deauville.

Well, of course Deauville!

Polo!

You've noticed me riding a mustang.

Unfortunately, no.
I have never been to a polo.

Never been to a polo.
Maybe in the casino?

This is quite possible.
I play there roulette every night.

I'll give you an advice.
You should not attend such institutions.

But you've been there.
- Only when necessary.

I've invested 50% of my shares in the gambling business.

So from time to time I need to check it out.

Otherwise empire will collapse.

"The reflection of your hair from the light of lamps."

''I can still see them.''

"Heart is still beating.''

''Memories, memories.
What do you want from me?''

Damn!

Are you drug addict or maniac?

Who gave you the right to so cut me off?
- A young man...

I will not let you! "Young man, young man."

There is no young man.
You are abusing your age.

Because of it I will not hit your face.

What year you've got the driving licence, 1900?

Well, that's enough.
I often dine with the prefect of police.

I'll tell him about you, you can believe me...

Where are you going?
- I'm on the spot.

Oh, I'd like to keep you company...

Little pampering.
But now I have to take care of the car.

Life has become a hell.

Day passes after day.
Let's have dinner together in the evening.

What about the prefect of police?
- Yeah, I have dinner with him in 24 hours.

Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, shit!

Let me pass... So.

Let's go back to business.

Licence plate number...

I hope it's not a stolen car?

Okay. I can see, you are a decent man.

So, the damages... Headlight.

Dent on the right side.

Driver after a medical examination...

I do not think you will be providing it?

No, what would you say?
Look at him.

He cut me off... and even now he's showing his intelligence.

Hold on... I'll show you.
I have powerful friends.

You will be given the right to drive a scooter.

Rotten youth!

Bastard! Asshole!

Some idiot crashed into me.

Registration, car keys...
Quickly, give it to me!

What happened? Are you angry?

Wrong!
I should stay away from types like you.

Such a jerk!
Get out of here!

And be quick! I was waiting for something like this.

In 3 months didn't sell single car.
Well, how could you manage it!

Straight world's record.
- Look, boss. Such a vehicles are generally very difficult to sell.

I'll show you what sells well!

You will never sit in the car again!

I'll have you blacklisted. You are dangerous!

You are intruder!
No longer used cars for you!

No more!

You finished gathering your things?
Soon you go away?

What are you waiting for?
A raise?

Rehabilitation? Or kick in the ass?

Huh?
- No, I wanted to wave...

My respects to your wife.
- Get out!

And never come back here!

I have you on the blacklist!

Your name will be known to every car dealer!

You will be banned from living in the big city!

Are you driving to the Champs-Elysees?
- Yes.

Good.

I'm sorry. Hopefully the echo hasn't reach you.

Echo of what?
- My fight with the owner.

I'm a little hasty.

I had to throw a cheque into his face.

10 million.
- For what?

For me to stay.
So he could, as before, use my name.

He used my name to trade on the black market.

Now it's over.
Now I will lift up my head.

It did not switch to second gear?

Listen, your transmission...

...makes a strange sound, a mysterious rustling.

Car was in repair for a month.
I did not use it at all.

Aha!

You still have a concern?

Again transmission?

Everything together.

I do not understand.
I didn't pass thousand kilometers, yet.

Yes, it's not the issue with kilometers.

This is a favorite trick of our workshop.

I'd have to check your steering and body.

You are not the first one who after the repair
drives into the ditch.

We live in the age of scumbags.

I'm sorry, I will drop you off.
I am going now...

...back to this scumbag,
he will give me back my money... and apologize.

Are you going back?
- Yeah, this moment.

Do not tell him that I said it.

My clothes...

No, well...

Thank you.

Hello, booksellers union?

Do not hang up, you have a caller.
First cabin, sir.

Token, madam.

Keep the change.
- Thank you.

And my number, madam?
- One moment.

Hello. Hello?

Hello, dear, it's me.

Tony?
- Yes.

I didn't call you because...

Finally decided to call.

You know, I'm tired of your tricks.

Come here, get your things and get lost.

Thank you, sir.
- You're welcome, ma'am.

Oh, it's you. Well, what?

What do you mean?
- What about the girl from Hotel Ritz ?

Nothing. Simple chick.

Those chicks are not in my taste.

Look, I'm tired of your moods.

She could be easily used.

Tomorrow we'll try again.

No, thank you. I have enough of that.

Monsieur Antoine, should I get you something?

I will not eat, I'm dizzy.

Oh, Monsieur Antoine, you, on the contrary, have to eat.

Nothing would go through my throat.

What happened?
- Nothing.

Talk to me. You have a strange look.

I would say hunted.

I resigned.
- Damned!

I'm not used to such a treatment.

He started to moralize me.
I can not stand it.

I'm used to elegance.
- Elegance, elegance...

No, no, in relation to me there is no "but".

Bravo! Madame Aline!

Bring us coffee.
I'm leaving in 20 minutes.

Listen, you hurry too much.

In New York, everything is different.

Another life.

Once you have paid, you are serve immediately.

Have you eaten?

Yes.
- Okay. Pay and we go.

You need a ride somewhere?
- To you.

Oh, no. Not today.

I have a guest. Girlfriend.
In general... a friend.

Mauricette, 20 years old. She sells the flowers.

Honest girl.
- Really?

In short, primitive.
Do not deceive yourselve.

I know your capabilities.

Poor thing does not know she ran into...

...vegetable street vendor.

You be careful with your statements.
Careful!

Where to take?
- To Germain.

To Germain?
- Can you suggest something better?

No.
- Then let's go.

Oh, Tony! Tony!

My love! My treasure!

Six months without you.
I thought I'd go crazy.

Germain thought would go mad.

My love. Come on.

Come on, my treasure.

Why are you breathing so heavily?
Something prickless?

Here prickles.

Do you remember that Saturday?

When we were going to Barbizon.

We thought we would have some fun.

I drove the car out of the garage...

It felt so good!

And then suddenly, bam!

Heart attack.

Fortunately, it happened at a red light.

Two months in the hospital. Thrombosis.

And oops... a new heart attack.

Freeze.

In the House of the Dead.
- It can not be!

Got released this morning.

I could not get up.

But I had to see you.
- Be prudent.

I thought only of you.
Constantly calling your name in delirium.

Kept awake all the doctors.

The nurses told me that.
- My dear!

Do not choke me!

The whole concilium was there.

For a week we lived there as
brothers and sisters.

How hard it was.

Let's not waste time.
Do you know what we do?

You will sleep in the bed and I'm here.

No! I can not agree to that!
- Do you want a new heart attack?

No? Then from today you have a bed rest.

Are you on diet?

From hell.

Grilled meat, fish...

Look, you're not forgotten...

...where you can get caviar?
- No.

I forgot.

What you can drink?
Probabaly mineral water?

Yes, of course. But buy more burgundy.

You can not change habits.

And also buy some whiskey.

Yes, it is a good drug for venous obstructions.

Then take a bottle from the cupboard.

How strange. It feels...

...if there is not a bar but a medicine cabinet.

What a vile thing - life.

Our precious patient sleep well?

I made you a chocolate.

I believe coffee is forbidden?
- Forbidden? For what reason?

Ah, yes!

Sometimes I forget, and I think I'm still healthy.

Couldn't get any croissants?

I didn't have time to come down.
I have to open the store at 8:00 am.

You know, now I have the inventory.

I'll be back around 1 o'clock..
Make you a breakfast...

...and would leave at 2:00.
- You're a saint.

No, what's this!

No, this can not be!

This can not be!
Such a surprise.

I did not expected that.
- What are you babbling about?

Fandango - a horse that I know for more than a year.

New name. She looks striking.

Jockey. St. Matthew.
Hardly loaded. Loose ground.

Do you know how much they bet on her.
40 to 1.

Can you imagine Germain.
We just need to fill out pure formality.

At the right moment I place
20 sous, and op... I'll break the bank.

What bank?
You gonna play lotto again?

Germain, you really gone crazy?

Today is a great day!

Failure is prohibited. And why?

Because today I will be ruthless.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
The heavy artillery entered the fight.

What's in your cash register?
- Nothing at all.

Bravo! The doctor said to me: no stress.
And that's what you get me.

Maybe 40,000...
No change, though.

40,000.

I can imagine my legendary win.

Already smiling.
Well... no harm in dreaming.

My sweetie.

How much are the flowers?
- They are not for sale.

I have to deliver them to that apartment.
- How much? I buy them.

But sir!
- How much? - 6,000 francs.

Here are 10,000.
Give them to a lady in this apartment.

What did you think of now?
It's not the best horse.

And then, where do I get these 100,000?

And your baby has nothing stashed?

Flowers bring decent money.
- Yes.

But we save them. We'll buy a house.
Yes, Bobby?

Yes. First, we wanted to buy a small store.

But then we decided to settle in Roche Mezenc.

Well, yes. Her parents live there.

Listen, and it's great. This is life.

Own house. Own store.

Small income. Small breakfast.

Small table in a small kitchenette.

My friends, you're just morons.

Silly you.

A lovely place.

So this is "the market by the river?"

Yes.
- You should have seen flower market in San Francisco.

Several floors on both sides of the boulevard.

And giant flowers.

Cactuses like that!

Yes, everybody would have laughed at you.

Take him away. Fast, get him away from here!

I have enough of him.
I do not want to listen to this anymore.

Such a smart ass annoys me!

Well mannered...

Oh, no, Mauricette!
- Shut up! Leave me alone!

I'm tired of you and your friend.

You made her angry.

Come on, or I gonna burst into tears.

Such a smart asses!

Just look at this idiots...

Small ri-ki-ki.
- Prick!

Well, you got yourself into hornet's nest.

Why?
- I do not understand you.

You're a nice guy.
You speak beautifully.

Even better than I do.

You're just not talking enough.

Or say something that brings you harm.
Didn't you try to quote Frans?

Tried, but never overused.
- He was king and god of eloquence.

You were talking about my beauty?
- Yes.

I think you're hurting yourself.

Mauricette is not a match for you.

Handsome guy like you.
With your class...

Precisely... with your class.

Your style - fashionable lady...

...white phone... crepe de Chine...

You think so?
- I'm telling you.

But, you know...

Fashionable lady can be found only in high society.

So... credit is needed for the right equipment.

Of course, money is not the main thing.
We have them. Actually we'd have them in the evening.

Well, Fandango.
- That's right, Fandango.

Heaven itself had sent it to us.
Divine providence.

You put it all, and then - all women at your feet.

Paris at your feet..
- 40,000 cash.

40 to 1 - that's 3,000,000...

And between you and me.
I foresee a much greater amount.

Come on, drive, drive.

Madame bets on number 6?

Madame loves risk?
- I'm sorry?

Let me introduce myself: Antoine Marechal...

...owner's son.

Can I ask what kind of foe...

...advise you to bet on the "Flower of the Time?"

None. I just liked the name of the horse.

Funny. Do not you think...

...that horse of that name...

...can throw unexpected trick?

Now I talk to you not as society lion,
but horse lover.

Your only chance: Fandango.

You think so?
- I'm sure.

Hey, it's serious tip.

Come bet on it..
- I agree.

Number 9, the winner.

Number 9, twice winner.

Number 9, 20 wagers.

Number 9, 20 wagers.

9th...

Where is the ninth?
- What?

I know, who is now in troubles.

Blame Marcel.
- Marcel?

Oh, believe me.

The stable man who works for my father.

Tomorrow morning he will be send
to the stud farm in Australia.

Come on, he's there. Come on!

We can't let the bastard go away!
- Yes, we must teach him a lesson!

Come quickly! Come on let's go.

Madam, if you want, I'll give you a ride?

You have a car?
- Oh, no. I take a taxi.

All of these traffic jams drive me crazy.

Well?
- Yes, I know what you'll tell me.

Marcel screw up again.
So tomorrow I'll fire him.

Sit down, fast.

There he goes! Hurry, after him!

Bastard! Scoundrel! Scumbag!

My friend, do not drive like maniac.

Here we go again.

Former pilot.
Loyal as a dog, but a hothead.

I told you not to go crazy.

Listen... Do you still need a car?

I don't think so.
- My friend, you can go for a dinner.

Yeah? What the chichi?

Bibi!

Bibi is here! Wake up.
Quickly get up! Come on!

What is it? What happened?
- Be quiet!

Bibi is at the door.
- Bibi. What kind of Bibi?

Quiet!
- Oh, look. You can go crazy.

Come on, get dressed quickly.

I had such a nice dream.

Where are my socks?

Here.

Is that you, Bibi?
- Yes, it's me.

Open up, I have a surprise for you.

Wait a minute! I'm coming.

I'm in the bathroom.

A second sock?

On the bed.

And the shoes?
- Keep quiet!

I need to sleep.

I'm not used to get up at 9:00 am.

And my tie?

Where's my tie?
- Hurry!

Who has a birthday today?

My little darling.

Come here and see.

It was not easy.
I had to contact the minister himself.

Financial experts objected
but I managed to overcome them.

Look, it is yours.

Thank the Minister, Bibi,
and return it.

I'll never pass driving exam.

Yesterday I failed again.

Backing up?

This is a curse.

My binoculars!

Not much you can do.
I'm not going to Meuger.

My darling.
- You're going to ski without your little darling.

Hello, cousin!

You didn't expect to see me?

Monsieur.
- Monsieur.

Introduce me.

Yes, right. Excuse me.

Gabriel Dumonceaux, CEO of...

...textile factory Dumonceaux Fabric.

My great friend... my cousin...

Antoine, from Bourges.

Antoine Marechal.

I told you about him 100 times told.
- Ah!

Yes, yes, of course! Of course.

Nice to meet you.

So, you are the famous Bibi.

Muriel constantly talks about you.

She's in trauma.
I think, you came to comfort your poor cousin?

To console? Why?

I failed the driving exam again.

For the third time.

What's wrong?
- It is impossible to go reverse.

Of course, they always ask just that.

Anyone can drive a car.

Big, small cars.

Look who's talking -
you ride in a taxi.

You should tell this to reporters.

You make me laugh.

I've operated many European firms.

Monza, Monte Carlo, 24 hours.

I'm not talking about my U.S. companies.

They are my beloved children.

For example, company "Jimmy".
Have you heard of her?

Wow, I don't know anything.

It looks like you don't know.

We rarely see each other.
- If we had seen each other more often...

...you would already know how to drive.
Now I take everything into my own hands.

In a week you'll get your licence.
- In a week... Too late.

Bibi is leaving to Meuger in the evening.

Nothing can be done.
I'm not going to enjoy the snow.

I would be stuck in cheap club.

Sleep in a dormitory.

No one would see me.
- We'll start learning immediately!

We're family, right?

She's like a child.

Would you go alone in the train without protection?

Where those pimply students will be hitting on you.
Well, it's not!

Thank you! Not a word more. Tonight...

...you're coming by car to your country house.
- But how?

Together with your cousin.
- I'm sorry?

Oh, no, this is not possible, dear Bibi.

I'd love to, but...

After all, you know that's life. The work...

...different circumstances... obligations.

It takes a lot of time. Maybe I can squeeze...

...a week before qualifying in Mexico.
But no more!

You see, everything is just perfect.
- What day is today?

Saturday.
- We can't go. - Why?

Banks are closed.
- So what?

I didn't expect this trip and didn't bring any cash.

For Gabriel Dumonceaux banks are always open.

Due to banks our life becomes much more practical.

How much do you need?
Is 500,000 enough?

Well, then.
I'll call Beatrice and tell her about you.

Thank you. Excellent. Till next meeting.

Wait...

You forget the binoculars.

True.

You cousin is cute.

Do you have snow chains?
- Why?

The roads are slippery up there.
- Have you ever heard...

...about snow rally.
I have won three of them the past year.

Bravo!

No one amused me so much in a long time.

Tony! Stop it! What are you doing!

Well, Tony. That's right.

You performed real rally in the snow.

Listen, you've never heard of skid...

Why are you laughing?
- You've funny sweater.

Absolutely incongruous colors.
- This is intentional.

You know, when I'm down there,
I could be seen from far away.

At 12, I've received "Golden chamois".

21 planning.

21 obstacles.

And we're done. Agreed?
- Good.

What is it?
Oh! What is it?

Disperse! Disperse!

Hey! What's wrong with you?

My God, what is it?

I thought you really received the "Golden chamois."

Damned skis! It is better...

...to go down the mountain by car or taxi.

At least the legs will be intact.

You see, nature...

...is a great thing.

Just think, for years I destroy..

...my nervous system.

Damage coronary vessels.

And all for what?

For some extra tens of millions per month.

And just one-hour flight keeps us away
from such a beauty in here.

Hey, Tony!

Gabriel, you are here, too!

What a surprise! How funny.

Antoine Marechal.
This is my wife, Beatrice.

Antoine Marechal -
financial expert with a great future.

Now he is studying the Scottish market.

My cousin Muriel.

Good afternoon.
- Spouses Dumonceaux.

Antoine often told me about you.
I even remember your name.

So charming...
Put another two seats.

Yes, we insist.

You are not in Edinburgh.
- In Edinburgh...?

Ah, yes. Well, of course.
Scottish market.

I left it to accompany Muriel.

You stay in a hotel?
- No, we rented a house.

House - is to strong word.
More likely, miserable little shed.

But I love it.

Yes, it reminds him heroic times.

Yes, a lifestyle that I once knew.

Loneliness. Wildlife.

Climbing.

How exciting.
- Excited, madam.

Excited is better word.

My former friends and Milale...

...my spiritual father, taught me everything.

Everything except position of "backword cancer''...

...which I had invented.
- You... "backword cancer''?

For him this is a second nature.

You know, Gabrielle...

...the day after tomorrow Monsieur Marechal leaves us.
- Work, madam. Work.

We can't let the poor boy go.

Scottish sheeps can wait.

In general, yes.
After all, you come here only for a week.

Earlier than the end of the quarter we can...

...hardly wait for your results.

My dear Gabriel, at the end of the quarter...

...I will be in Guatemala.
Planning phosphates.

Then Moscow. Problems with corn.

You must slowl down, Monsieur Marechal.

Call me Tony.
- Only in exchange for a promise.

I'll call you Tony,
and you will stay here for another week.

Agreed.

Oh, no, you!

What kind of a fairy tale?

Guatemala... Moscow... It's a nightmare!

You shouldn't say that...

...he's financial expert.
Couldn't imagine more stupid.

I had to come up with something that would impress my wife.

Most of your wife is impressed...

Better for me to remain silent.

So we have a deal? Bravo.

Hey, Gabrielle!

Yes!

Thank our friend Tony.

For what?

Today, he will come to us for a party.

We'll be well entertained.

Damn! I dropped it.

Till the evening, then.
- Yes, until the evening.

God knows what.

Monsieur ready for anything,
posing as gigolo.

I warn you... if you again will behave like a boy...

Enough! No more crazyness.

7 hours behind the wheel
plus 3 hours of skiing.

And now the scene of jealousy.

My nerves are not made of steel.

I'm out of the game. Enough.
I go back to Scotland.

Can't be!

You really started to believed in these Scottish sheeps?

You see, I finally got caught in your lies.

Tahiti. Oh, Tahiti!
How I love this island!

Tell me, my dear.
Your guest list is not closed yet?

No.
- Am I on it?

- None.
- Poor me, so unlucky!

I wish I could devote you my new creation.

What a bitch!

Oh, my dear! That's you!

Not much fun in here.

Not even room for sex.

What do you say?

Not all of the guests arrived. We are still waiting for some.
- Anyway, it's success.

Thank you.

We stick around for 15 more minutes and leave.
- Yes, deadly boredom.

Where did you fly away for 3 days?

Why did you run away, without telling me?

Don't you want to?

You know, Josette, Tyrol for me...

Call me Joe and tell me you're...

And your friend Antoine hasn't showed up, yet?

And... there, he is!

Who is he?
- Antoine Marechal.

Exceptionally talented financial expert.

Golden brain.

Yes, it works for me.
Now he is engaged in...

...development budgets of our African subsidiaries.

Poetry digits.

Sense of synthesis.

Excuse me.

Boxer?
- Antoine Marechal.

Financial Expert.

Why so late?
- We waited for Tony's fur.

Ah, my dear Tony...

...the fur is perfect.
What a chic, what a cut! Price tag...

Price tag?
- Price tag.

I thought you had forgotten me.
- Forget you?

Who can forget such a beauty, such a dress.

I'll leave you for a second.

It'd seem to me like a century.

Ever since you came,
I haven't seen you for 5 minutes.

We see each other all the time.
- You know perfectly well what I mean.

Edward Swift.

I've heard a lot of you, Monsieur Marechal.

I would like to ask you for advice.

Just between us...

Dumonceaux Fabric...

Operating.

Monsieur Marechal, I put cards on the table.

My Financial Group wants to invest...

...1 billion in his factories.

What can you say about the future
of my investments?

Nothing. Gabriel was the most
reliable partner in France.

But suddenly he was seized by the passion.

Crazy love.

As a result, nothing but trouble.

His empire collapses.

I refuse to plug the loopholes in it.

Antoine Marechal refuses.

Tony, you are a man with a big heart. Help!

I can't manage stay in any way - I'm sorry, Edward -
alone with your cousin.

Me and your cousin are going to leave
without saying goodbye.

I'm sorry, Edward.
We are all men here.

I look forward to your brilliant ingenuity.

Gabriel!

Now you understand what I said?

What a charming girl. Your cousin?

Yes. And I am now to remind her that.

What does this mean, my girl?
- What's gotten into you?

I promised to look after you,
and will continue to do so.

What are you saying? He is crazy.

Who's to blame? You forgot...

...you need to get a driver's license?

And Malagasies you forgot as well ?

And the forester in his castle?

Now you switched to young Romanians?
- I'm from Angouleme.

Besides, he's a racist. Rascal.

Well, immediately go home!

Wow!
- I said, now! Dear Gabriel...

...take care of here. I trust you.

Let's dance, guys.

Hey, what kind of slap he gave you.

I thought he was gonna kill you.
He ​​was great.

Listen to me carefully, Dumonceaux.

If you think again to kill me,
I will return to Paris.

My dear!

My dear!

What is it, honey?

Come on!
- Leave me alone!

Where are we?
- Surprise!

Finally, we're alone.

My little savage.

Hit me.
- I'm sorry?

You hit her.

And why not me?

Beat me.

If you insist?
- Yes, yes, yes.

Not like that.

That's it!

I knew it was going to be great.

I knew it was going to be great.

I knew... I knew it! ..

Stop, madam. It not serious.

What's with her? Look, madam.

No, no. Not that.

Oh, madam! What's wrong with her?

Tony! Tony! I need to talk to you.

Look, I broke up with Bibi.

Can't be!
- Yes.

Jewelry, apartment... I'll return all to him.

I leave myself just a toothbrush.
We go back in Paris together.

We will work.We'll rent a room.
I'll teach you how to cook.

Wait, one moment.

I want you to bite.
- Watch out! Your husband would see us.

I don't care about Gabriel.
I called my father.

He agreed.
- On what? - I'm getting a divorce.

I'll leave all my husband.
I will take only my toothbrush.

I need to check my small shop.

O, cousin!

Well, how's our cousin?

No jokes.

Do you mind?
Let me...

Big one.
- Really?

Yes. Too much!

Help me. Come on!

Come on! Get me out of here!

Of course, Baroness.

Where am I?
- In my room.

I'll leave you alone.
Sleep for on an hour or two.

If you intend to continue engage in swimming...

...then perhaps I can offer you
something better than pool.

Have you ever been to the South Seas?
- What?

I swam there with my friends.

Where is it?
- In Tahiti.

Tahiti?

I was expecting something more original.

For example, the Cocos Islands or Cannes.

You will not regret it.

Tahiti!

By the way, do you have a car?
- A car?

Of course.

Good. Since you want to go to Cannes,
then we'll go there together.

See you...

Madame Aline, take away this
cup of coffee just in case.

He comes back and will not be happy.

Will cry his heart out.

He's calling Monsieur Tony.

We have eaten and that's enough.

Finish your coffee.
The blue train is coming in 10 minutes.

I'm done with the blue train.

I have other plans.
I'm going to travel around the world.

Do you know in which direction you going?
- I did not ask.

Put ​​on the shelf.
That's it. Excellent.

Let's go, dear.

Bye!

You know what I'm thinking about?

Yes.

You, too, think about that?
- Of course.

But I can restrain myself. You know...

Driver. Gossip.

Let's try to think about something else.

But I can not. Never!

Well... It starts again.

Driver. Take me quickly...

You are going to land on Coco Island
in a fur coat and fur hat?

I got dressed for a winter resort.

All tropical wardrobe
was sent to the dry cleaners.

There is a cute little shop in Cannes.
Wait for me, we go there together.

Amazing woman.

Pardon.

Not bad, huh?
- It fits very well.

Don't you have anything lighter?

Roomier.

Let me see, madam.

You're muscular, athlete.

Real steel.

You play basketball?
- No.

However, you have physique of basketball player.

Or gymnast.

For sure, you were engaged in some sports.

Actually...not really.

So, you were born like this?

How wonderful!

You have such an unusual spin.

Like an ancient Greek athlete.

Phidias... Polyclitus...

It's true, if you think about.

Look, you might think of something else?

Go, my friend.
We'll call you when we need you.

What we're talking about?
- About some historical figures...

...which I don't know.
- I'll tell you everything.

About the literature. About the sculptures.

I want to have on my yacht a real expert.

Do you know the history of water?

Oh, my God!
I've spent already 2 hours with you.

But we sail in an hour.
It's time to take care of yourselve.

Meet me on my yacht "Odyssey".

I'm sorry, sir. Who will pay the bill?
- Send it to the hotel.

In whose name?
- Monsieur Grucho.

Little patience. We sail in few minutes.

There he is!

Get my boxes.
- Right away.

Finally.

What about me?

And that was my grandfather.

He loved to wander in his spare time.

He become penniless and attached to poverty.

I think your driver is calling you.

My driver? Ah, yes my driver.

It's always better when your driver
is also your friend.

- He's trustful and also clairvoyant.
- Clairvoyant?

Yes, a real clairvoyant.
Former fakir.

I never come on board without consulting him.

He's much better then astrologers.
Never wrong!

With his advices I made millions.

Let's take him on board.

My dear, take him, please.
- Yes, Lily.

Take him.

Well then.
- Bravo!

Come on!

Listen... Jump!

It's all right, sailor?
- All right, all right.

Tony! Tony!

You are so beautiful, so kind!

Tell me, is it true that everybody
is fed up with my music?

Queen of my eyes!

I wish you were playing beside my bed...

...when I fell asleep in the evening.

What are you making, Countess?

Sea, but they are constantly laughing.

Ma'am, I kiss your hands.

Tony!... Monsieur Tony...
Could you help me.

I can't solve one problem for a long time...

...which really torments me.

Couldn't you talk to your...

- Fakir?
- Exactly!

Hello?

Yes, Captain.

Brother, get up on deck.
They asked for you.

Here, he is!

- Come over. - Me?
- Approach here.

Sorry, to get you from
important things, Bob...

...but Lord Swift needs advice.

- Are you in good shape?
- Excellent.

Right... We will start immediately.

- What should I say?
- Answer: "Yes, sir."

- Yes, sir.
- Excellent.

Concentrate, Bob.

Concentrate.

Concentrated?

Concentrated.

Bob!

Are you with me?

I'm with you!

- What do you see?
- The darkness.

- Does darkness shocks you?
- Darkness shocks me!

Just darkness all around!

I see Africa. Black Africa.

I see the river. The huge river.

Crocodiles.

Ah, vile creature!

What does he saying?

Well, translate it.

- He advises on African stocks.
- Yes, yes, exactly.

How cool!

River, a large river.

For sure, it's Zambezi.

Zambezi. Well, of course.
This is the Zambezi!

And not only Zambezi.
This is Quinn. This is the Quinn.

This morning, its shares fell 7 francs.

- So buy it!
- You think so?

Of course, if he says so.

Bravo! Bravo!

Don't tell me what to do. I'll tell you.

Copper. I want to buy all the copper we can get.

Yes, when they're closing?

- Nice weather, Captain.
- Yes.

You don't look very happy.

For six years I've been working
for Madame Baroness.

And every time she's on board...

...I haven't seen the barometer
to fall below normal.

With her everything is always so predictable.

Calm sea, no wind.

Weather doesn't bring any surprises.

I've only seen storm in movies.

I'm sorry about that.

I wish I could be in a real storm.

I understand you.

Intoxicating storm.
Dizziness from sea waves.

I know this feeling so well.

Before I turn 12 years old, my father had already
pulled me out of the water three times.

So the sea storm...

- And by the way, who is she?
- Madame Baroness...

Madame Baroness expects
Monsieur Marechal in her cabin.

- Yes, yes, I'm going.
- Have a good time.

- Then you'll tell me everything?
- I'm sorry?

About the storm, of course.

Ah, yes.

Come in.

Did my beautiful, sensual girl called me?

If I wouldn't called you,
then I would never have ask you in.

I thought...

...the sea would be more stimulating.

You know, the acuteness of the senses
dulled my good manners.

I paid a tribute...

You consider reasonable...

...to hand out to the right and the left...

...what you don't have much?

Tell me, honestly.

Oooh! What an ingratitude!

I just left you 5 minutes ago.

And then, I didn't really leave you...

...since your guests seem to be so horrible.
- My dear!

My love! I ask you...

...do not give up.
You will be yourself again.

This can't be!

You all right, Monsieur Marechal?

All right, all right.

Listen, can I take my little negro?

- He is simply charming.
- I'm tired.

Shut up, you little monster.

Perhaps now you'll become immortal.

Only ladies from high society are the real women.

Countess led me to this conclusion...

...when I posed to her.

She read me a poem.
You never heard poems in Romanian?

This is indescribable!

- Want some?
- No.

- What is it? You have a strange look.
- I'm tired.

- What?
- This yacht!

Front, rear, right, left - everywhere water!

- I want to live in the mountains.
- Go back to Meuger. - No!

No. I'm tired of playing fool.

- Tony!
- Oh, no!

Tony!

A, Monsieur Marechal!

Today Panama, tomorrow
we enter the Pacific Ocean.

So what?

Baroness should be informed about this news.

- And what bothers you?
- I'll show you.

See, we are here now,
and will be there tomorrow.

Then we turn 200 miles to the left,
and miss the storm again.

- And if we turn to the right?
- But they are waiting there! And... if Baroness finds out...

Woman could be easily deceived.

Monsieur Marechal!
You are the man I was looking for!

Tony!

Tony!

You haven't seen Monsieur Marechal?

No, Madam.

- Can I come in?
- No. - For 5 minutes.

- No. - For 2 minutes?
- Tony!

So where is he?

He was here a minute ago, ma'am.

Find him!

You play hide and seek?

Funny, isn't it?

What do you do on this boat, along with Lily?

- Traveling.
- Are you in love with her?

Do you care?
And you...

Can I ask what you're doing...

...on this rotten boat, alone?

I swim to Tahiti along with my uncle.

And since I can't afford such a trip...

...Lily kindly...

- Who's there?
- Edward, my little Veronica.

"Edward, my little Veronica."

I came to visit you.

- "I came to visit you".
- Not now.

Be honest... don't you like him?

I understand you.

You will not regret it.

How are you, Edward?

Finally! I was looking for you everywhere.

Where did you hide?

It's imposible to catch you.

- I'm thirsty.
- I give you a glass of water?

I'm thirsty of kisses.

Thirsty of fondling. Right now.

Satisfy my thirst!

Tame me! I'm your gazelle.

- You want me to throw myself at your feet?
- No, no!

We make love...

...like mad from the heat savannah animals.

Let's love one another..

...like at the dawn of mankind.
- Can't we get some sleep first?

Sleep is just a waste of time!

Oh, no! Listen to this. Well, listen!

It is not yhe right way!
I beg you! Stop it!

Well, listen! No, no, no...

Well, no, no. Just do it...

Not this...

Tony.

Tony.

What? What happened?

That crazy music won't let me sleep.

This bitch!

First and last warning!

If I hear one more sound from this pandora box,
I'll throw it overboard!

- And you will followed.
- Scoundrel!

Scoundrel!... Killer!

Let's sail away together.

Leave this gang of weirdos.

We sit in the lifeboat...

...and some Japanese cargo ship will pick us up.

We go down on land near Manila or Borneo...

We will live there together,
with sheeps around us...

Do you agree?

You don't want to...

You never want anything.

You are not fun.

You talk to them...

...but they will not listen...
They don't understand.

There is another reason
to put a bullet in the head.

I'm tired.

I get home and I'll try again to settle down.

Oh, no!

Music killer!

I despise you!
I hate you! Scoundrel!

Here you are! Take that!

Scoundrel!

Monsieur Marechal!
Well, it's close.

- What?
- The island, to which we sail.

Barometer is a proof!
Storm is coming!

Most serious in the history of navigation.

- Thank you, Monsieur Marechal!

- Whay did I do?
- You want me to put out of business?

Make me bankrupt?
You said hell knows what, you vile beast!

- Everybody can make a mistake.
- Yes, I'll strangle you with my own hands!

- Edward! Edward, what's wrong?

Because of him I lost 100,000 dollars.

He is not a fakir!
He's zero with no magic wand!

- Nothing! Scum!
- What did you say? - Cheater!

- Now, go contact someone else.
- I'm going with my own hands...

- Listen! Enough already!
- No, it's not enough!

Go to sleep!

- Now what will happen to me?
- Don't worry.

- They'll ​​drop me on the land, that's for sure.
- No.

- Next time you advise him...
- No, no more advices. Finish.

Listen, I want to offer you a gold mine.
Absolute sure thing.

Veronica! it's me, Tony.

I brought your shawl.

Veronica! You can't leave it outside.

Open the door.
I have to talk to you.

Veronica! Open up!

Here is your shawl.

No, you see?

Monsieur Marechal, go back to your cabin.

- You mean: "to yours"?
- Save your irony for another moment.

Him again!

Again!
Again all those nonsenses!

Prepare yourself!

Punishment is coming.

The storm is approaching.

Monstrousity storm is coming!

- Enough already! Don't believe him.
- I'm telling you!

A storm!

All will be washed away overboard!

- Enough!
- Finish your tricks, Monsieur Bob!

You have already played me, you asshole!

- What is it that?
- I'm suffocating!

- Stop! Hold it!
- I'm suffocating!

How is our fakir? Any better?

And our brilliant financial expert?

Who is the best comedian?
Who's better liar?

Bob is never wrong!

If he says there will be a storm -
so there will be a storm.

Well, so believe yourself.
We're not fools.

Here's your storm!

Well, now you see?

Well? Got a storm, right?

A, Monsieur Marechal!

Now we have some fun?

I've been waiting for this for a long time.

You are happy, aren't you?
You got your storm?

Now Madame Baroness will raise my salary.

Not before you keep the ship afloat.

And it's not that simple.

Tony!

Do not worry!

It's a simple storm.

We just got a lousy captain.

I will stand myself by the rudder,
and everything will be fine.

I beg you, o, God, White Manitou!

Good. Excellent.

Come quickly to the cabin.
The storm even stronger...

...ignites my passion.
- Stop it!

- What a strange feeling.
- Oh, shit!

What a beauty! This is incredible!

What a beautiful view!

Oh, damn!

Hey, how beautiful!
How beautiful, huh?

Now carefully.

Listen to me!
I say, be careful!

Beware of natives.
Beware of scum.

This is not Hollywood.

Oh, I know that native islands.

- What?
- Everyone!

Marshall. Marquesas. All local islands.

That's why I say: beware of the mirages.

I'll go with you to the shore...

... although I was going to stay in a cabin,
to work a little.

So, we will visit christian mission,
leper colony and a museum.

But no alcohol and no women!

That's what finished Gauguin.

You also come here.

Behave yourself.

You represent Europe here.

You see, I'm busy, dear...

...discovering the simple joy...

...of healthy living on the lap of the nature.

O, nature, my mother!

All get naked!

Excuse me.

- Is something wrong?
- No.

Look, the sun is shining...

...weather is wonderful.

- I'm next to you. What else do you want?
- I was at the notary in the morning.

- And what?
- What?

Look.

Tatahuo-Rao. What is it?

Legacy of my uncle.

4 hectares, 80 coconut trees.

And the pebbles everywhere.
But not a drop of water.

Look, virgin forest - it's so cool.

This reminds me...

...that I was the heir,
and became pennyless.

- It amuses you?
- No, it's nervous.

Your laughter is understandable.

You can't understand.
You have always been rich.

Yeah? And who told you that?

- Everyone says that.
- They are all wrong.

In fact, I have nothing.

I am scoundrel.

But mostly, a liar.

And I can only blame myself for it.

Financial expert, genius planner...

This has never existed.

I have always lived of the others.

- You don't believe me?
- No.

How cool.

You're a bad liar, Tony.

Very bad. But at the same time - glorious.

What is this smell?

The natives poured rum on my head.

Wait, don't move.

- Now, I'll jump into the water.
- What for?

- I will commit ritual of purification.
- Stop.

It's, nothing, nothing. Don't be afraid.

Veronica! Veronica!

Edward! Edward!

If I tell you, that I have...

...property on the French coast and in Switzerland...

...would you believe me?
- Yes, yes, of course, I believe that.

So what I should do now?

Give me a drink.

Thank you. Thank you, brothers.

Good. I understand what that means.

And it's even better.

I just wanted leave this piece of scrap.

I didn't want to stay there.

I'm not going to waste my youth.

Thank you. It's too much for me.

Let's go, my faithful companion.

- Come with me.
- I can't.

I'm not done, old chap.
New York is waiting for me.

No. The dump of scrap iron in St. Antoine!

- No one needs you anymore, you moron.
- Oh, listen!

I hope he will die of hunger.

Don't comfort yourself with illusions, dear.

Such people never die of hunger.

Look. Real, the original.

This is not all.

For the same price you get a hat.

Very good.

- Three.
- Two hundred. - Three.

- Two hundred.
- Okay. Here's more. Three.

Agree. Three.

- One. Two. Three.
- That's it.

Thank you.

I do not know who you are...

...and why you come here.

But better leave soon.

Don't expect anything good from this cursed land.

I came here 20 years ago.

I had 100 million in the bank .

I was a respected man.

And all of this is lost!

Manganese.

You don't know what the hell is manganese.

- I know. It's manganese.
- Polynesian plateau...

...is the richest manganese place on Earth.

Millions of tons!

Millions of dollars!

For 20 years, I have been digging the tunnels.

Two beers.

Tons of earth hauled by myself.

Look at the muscles I had...

...two years ago

I went on the last expedition.

On the old boat.
A Chinese man sold it to me...

...for a bottle of whiskey.

I was digging one day...

two... three...

I got totally exhausted.

I ran out of the food.

No water.

It was like a hard labor camp.

Yes, I was completely exhausted.

I started hallucinating.
I was like an agonizing animal.

I was so close just to give up my life.

I wish I could go back to this manganese paradise.

But I will never return to the Tatahuo-Rao!

- What! What did you say?
- Tatahuo-Rao.

- Repeat what you said.
- Tatahuo-Rao.

Hey! Gentleman! ..

- You are crazy! What's gotten into you?
- You mixed me up with Tony!

Honey, where are you going?
Come to me.

Manganese ore. It has a good price.

Why uncle told me nothing?

- Why? Oh, holy innocence!
- Hey, Tony! - What?

- Will you take me with you?
- Do you have money?

- I have some.
- Then let's go.

- Well, come on!
- Thank you and goodbye.

Kill the engine! Turn off the ignition.

- I can't!
- I'll fell...

Well, after all we made it.

Hey, over here! Follow me!

- Old man lived here.
- Poor man, if he'd known.

Okay, enough of this linger.

Let's go look for a tunnel. Come on.

I found it! I found it!

- Where is he?
- Just like in the cave of Ali Baba.

You should see how unusual is here.

Come quickly.

- Look at this beauty!
- Damn!

So many gems!

Bob, throw me a bag...

- You're here for the expertise?
- Of course.

- Expertise of what?
- Manganese ore.

- Place of excavation.
- It's a secret.

- Listen, Daddy.
- What, baby?

3 million and 400, and another 16 million,
how much that will be?

That will be almost 20 million.

- Plus another 15 million.
- Let me focus...

- Almost 35 million.
- In old francs?

- I brought Edward.
- I said, no guests.

It's my leisure time.

Sorry, but I can not see you.

But I am not a stranger. It's just me!

Veronica told me everything.

It's great, dear Tony!

I know Rockefeller, Nikos Vanderbilt...

...but you have surpassed them all.

Manganese! It's so cool.

You need to sell it.
I offer to buy it.

I'm listening to your proposal.

For my partner and broker...

...my company would reserve...

...a Swiss bank account.
Does that suit you?

I expected to hear different offer.

I am not a broker but a representative...

...of Mademoiselle Veronica Duval.

See, who is this.

I will not let predator, like you,
pluck innocent orphan.

Look. It's interesting.

Analysis results.

71 percent.

This deal will bring you 2 billion.

You have exactly 3 minutes to enter the bid.

You grab me by the throat!

The countdown has begun.

I don't know about this excavation.

I don't know whether it exists.

First I have to see everything.

Okay, look.
I am willing to provide you with that service.

Only because it's you.

So, you give a deposit of 200 million...

...and we'll show you the mine.

200 million?
You're crazy!

There are so many in the world interested in...

...ecstatic personalities.

50 million.

What do you think, you speak with half-wits?

- Well, 150.
- 70...

- 125.
- 90.

- Okay.
- It's a deal.

- When do you want a cheque?
- Immediately.

In the name Veronica Duvall.

And no cheating...

Well, my suspicious friend.
No more doubts?

- Can I touch it?
- Of course, Edward.

Go down carefully.

Attack! Forward!

Stop! Captain, I see civilians.

- What are you doing here?
- And do you know you are on private property?

- I know. This is a military training ground.
- Oh, really!

Army owns this land.

- And can you tellme since when?
- Since 1880.

On what basis you dig here?

You dug this hole?

- No.
- Quickly, bury it up!

Hurry!

No, but...

We are over the island.

I see soldiers there!

Great! Look at them.

They bury that pit.

Five days I was digging it.

And three days dragged manganese over there.

And now they bury it.

Come and see!

Poor guys!

I'll go tell the pilot, to make another lap.

Dad, let's go back, please.

What is it?
What happened to my little girl?

- Why such a sour face!
- Leave me alone.

I gonna kill you!

Shoot him!
He needs to be shoot!

Shoot him! Grab him!

Kill him!

- Enough, enough!
- Kill him immediately!

Shut up and get back to work.

Move!
And not a word more.

Move, don't fell asleep.

Pressure drops.

That's the way you earn the ticket
back to Marseille.

Oh, what the times! O morals!

- What?
- I am trying to learn a lesson from all of this.

Drama of modern man...

...his sincerity, sensitivity.

Especially with regard to women.

Constantly stepping on the same rake.

- Never walk by.
- I walk past.

I've been trying to explain the philosophical principles...

...and you start with ''me''.

Hello, Germain?
How are you doing, sweetheart?

Did you read the newspapers?

- Do you know what they've done to me?
- Who?

Crooks.
Could you imagine...

...they wrapped me around the finger like a baby.

I lost everything. Because of you.
Bet on the wrong horse.

Lost in the dust.

Therefore, I decided to become a loner.

Hid like a wild beast.

Harbored.
I'm afraid that you won't recognize me now.

I've changed.

My voice, too.

Memel doesn't want to listen to you anymore!

Never again!
Her doctor forbade it.

If you suddenly would return...

...I let you know that I bought a hunting rifle...

...and would shoot.

George, check if he is not hurt.

Oh, well! What is this?

- Easy!
- Don't move! You could brake something.

Yes, Of course I broke!
Didn't you hear that dead crunch?

Do something, George!
Call the ambulance.

No, not to the hospital.

They will not treat me.

I have to be in great shape in a week.

Even if I'm on crutches,
I have to sit behind the wheel.

- I have important car racing in Bermuda.
- It's nonsense!

- Where should I take you? Home or hospital?
- I have no home.

I have to be at Orly.

My Renoir's paintings
hidden under different copies.

Chairs dismantled.
Bags sprinkled with mothballs.

All this and I won't come to the competition.

Well, this has funny begining.

- Not a word more.

I'll take you to my place and call the doctor.

- We will cure you.
- Where do you live? - On the Foch Avenue.

- Good.
- Excellent.

Carefuly!

- I even can't touch the floor.
- I know how it is.

This is such a horrible pain.

Carefully! Carefully, please!

Here. Here...

Put him on my bed.

No, no. Hurts again.
It's better over here.

Here.

Right. This way.
That's it.

Do you want a drink?

- Maybe some champagne.
- I wouldn't mind...

Have you heard? Our wounded...

...asks for champagne.
Quickly, bring same!

- What brand, sir?
- I usually drink Don Perignon.

Oh, no.
I don't want to create more inconvenience.

- Nonsense, sir.
- Do you have a family?

- I'm an orphan.
- Excellent.

I immediately call Prof. Lifshitz.

He would ​​immediately fly on the first plane.

I have to be at the station.

Let the professor treats those who need it.

Yes, I can not let it happen.

I'd better immediately put my head in the oven.

It is better to die in poverty.

He's gone crazy!
Georges, shake him.

Do not touch me, you strangler.
Otherwise, I call the police.

You're shaking, foundation.

My poor wounded albatross.

Okay, I give up.

Perhaps I have never get out of here.

Never would see the sea.

Georges leave us. And you, too.

- He works for you for a long time?
- George?

He always drove my car.

And my husband's car. In general...

...he perfectly drives a Rolls-Royce.
Why do you ask?

Oh. I hope I'm wrong.

I've seen him somewhere before.

Can you keep a secret?

- Of course.
- Then I introduce myself.

Antoine Marechal, nuclear engineer.

Rockets. Bombs. Shells.

Have you ever heard of me?

All secret agencies of the world are after me.

You know, there is so much secretive around.

We keep talking, but it is necessary to see...

To see what?

Ah, yes.

- You need to sit down.
- No, really.

- This is too...
- It is too difficult to stand for you.

- Carefully!
- Well, then. Fell yourself comfortably.

Now let's see what we have.

- Oh, my...!
- You have such a pink skin!

I can't see anything.
Must be something serious.

Then, it's better.
I will treat you day and night.

I will be your nurse, your slave.

- Your faithful dog.
- But madam!

Call me Margerie.

You don't believe me?
You'll love it.

Look...

Margerie. Margerie. Margerie! Stay!

Down! That's it. Good!

Up! Down! Up! Down!... Down!

Yes, it seems that she likes it.

Sit down! Up! Down...

Oh, my God! It's better to work in Renault factory.

Oh, no. No! No! No!

I'm tired! I'm sick of it...

TRANSLATION BY YAFI.
JAGA BKS!!!