Tempting Fate (2019) - full transcript

Mm...

Mm.

This is nice.

Nothing but us...

We haven't
done it like this

in, like,
a million years, huh?

Or, like, maybe 12.

Really?

And you thought
that was a good idea,

to bring that up
right in that moment,

right there?



I think
I hear the girls.

No, you don't.

I thought we were done
with this conversation.

No, you were done
with this conversation.

Abby, you knew that
I didn't want any more kids.

And you knew I did, okay?

And then you went
and made it impossible,

without even consulting me.

But y... you hated
being on the pill.

Yeah, and you hated
using condoms.

Oh...

Okay? But that's not
actually the point.

You never listen to me

when we have
this conversation.



Mom!

You know what?

I could've just stopped
taking the pill.

I could've stopped
taking the pill

and gotten pregnant,
and not told you...

but I didn't.

You know why?

Because we're married.

Married people
actually

have conversations, right?

They discuss things!

But you, you just went off
and you got a vasectomy

without even telling me,
and now you...

- Mom.
- Hi, girls.

-Uh, Mom...
-Yeah?

I think that
it's really important

that we can bring
our phones on the trip.

Oh, well, it's a daddy-daughter
camping trip,

so I think
it's really unimportant

that you bring your phones.

Oh, great.

This is going
to be a nightmare.

But a very special
daddy-daughter nightmare.

Um, guys,
I can't go.

Jessalyn is having
an almost-back-to-school party.

It's the first time

one of The Populars
invited me to anything.

Oh! "The Populars."

Uh, be nice.

Jessalyn will
have to understand

that you already made
plans with your family.

What?

Hey,
you know what?

You missing the party
actually means

that they are gonna
be missing you.

-Oh, really?
-Mm-hmm.

Alanna!

That's enough.

Mom?

-Yeah?
Uh, Aunt Josephine's...

...on the couch
again.

Okay.

You went to the Populars'
all the time!

Oh, are you jealous?

Your latte, madame.

So good!

JoJo, you have got to stop

breaking into the house
at night.

Aw, you know you can't make
a grand exit during a fight

and then go home to sleep.

Or maybe you don't know,

being the perfect
couple and all.

-We're not so perfect.
-Mom?

Yeah?

She's getting
a photo booth.

That is so cool!

That means you'll have
lots of pictures to look at

when you get home.

That's so not fair.

A beer?

Josephine.

It is the perfect
hangover remedy.

That's good to know.

Gabby, tell her.

You can tell her, too.

Come on,
Olivia's 16,

She can handle hearing
stuff about...

Listen to me.

I love you,
but our house, our kids,

and we'd rather
you not set this example.

Ooh! Wilderness calls!

I got it.

Wild.

Thanks.

Everybody in.

Okay, girls...

You ready to go?
Everybody in?

Got your seatbelts on?

Love you, too, sweetheart.

I'll take care of 'em.

-See you in a couple days.
-Mm-hmm.

You all in?

Yep.

'Kay, I love you, guys! Bye!

Don't forget to eat.

About Ben's party...

I just feel like
I really need some "me" time.

Mm-mm. No, you're
not bailing on me.

Friend time
is "me" time.

Dancing time.

Fun time.

Gabby doesn't know
how to have fun.

She's fun.

She's charming.

-Mm.
-Mm-kay.

Great.

You remember how to have fun,
don't you?

It looks like this.
Dancing... Dancing time.

There she is.
There she is!

Wear those shoes!

I'll pick you up
in a few hours.

I see you.

Wow.

Now, that's a look.

Oh, I am totally
ready to party.

Oh, yay, Trish is here.

I don't get
your thing with her.

Well, I mean...
look at her.

She's perfect.

She's got
the perfect hair,

and the perfect dress,

I'm sure
her perfect kids

are off volunteering
somewhere,

while her accessory line

is on some perfect-person
magazine cover.

That was
Good Morning, America.

Yeah. Exactly.

-Hi!
-Hi!

We thought
you two had bailed!

Oh, my gosh!

You look
incredible!

Please, I've got "double-D"
written all over me.

"Divorced and desperate."

Let's go dominate
the dance floor. Come on!

-I'm just gonna get alcohol.
-Yeah, but then...

Okay.

Hi.

Can I get a dirty martini,
please?

Thank you.

Not your scene
either?

I was just watching

that masterful escape
you just made.

This right here
is really important.

Every time I read it,

I feel compelled
to find out

if Brocklehurst
is gonna change.

Ugh. Yeah,
I hate that guy.

I know...

You don't know
who Brocklehurst is.

I do.

Brocklehurst
is the headmaster

of the Lowood school.

Total son of a bitch.

Jane Eyre.

I've read it
four times

since my feminist lit
class in college...

which, I swear,
I did not take

to pick up women.

Oh. I'm sure.

Uh, Matt Shaw.

Gabby Cartwright.

So I got peer-pressured
to be here, by my friends.

What's your excuse?

I had a business meeting
with Ben Winter

and then he dragged me
here to his party,

and left me
for the dance floor.

And now you're part
of this whole

"Mommy's Afternoon Out."

You have kids?

Yeah, I have two kids

and a husband

and a white-picket fence.

I'm just a total cliche.

Well, you don't have
the Botox and the bling,

and you're not grinding with
overly-tanned, pinky-ringed men.

Yeah, no...

this middle-aged mom
does not grind.

Well, I hate
to break it to you,

but 30-something
is not middle-aged.

Flattery will get you
everywhere,

Mr. Twenty-Something.

33.

Oh! So old.

I'm 42.

There. See?
We're not even that far apart.

Let's see when you're 42

and you look back
at how much has changed.

Ah, I bet
you haven't changed at all,

because you look great.

Well, that's very nice.
Thank you.

And that's my husband.
Perfect timing.

Hello?

Sorry!

You're breaking
the no-device rule.

What's going on?
Everything okay?

Uh, it should be
in the big bag.

No.

I packed it.

You're gonna
have to look around for it.

It's not just
gonna jump out of the bag.

Okay, you found it?

Great.

Okay. Bye.

Sorry.

Everything okay?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It was just my husband
and the girls,

they're camping

in the wilds
of Vermont.

And you restore furniture?

What...
How do you know that?

I checked out your website
while you were on the phone.

You did not!

Yeah, yeah.

No! It's not
even done yet.

-It's so embarrassing.
-Your stuff is great.

Oh, stop it.

Thank you.
It's just...

like a hobby.

So you're one of those women
that doesn't give a damn

if you break
a nail? Right?

Look.

You've got
a callous.

You're hand-shaming me.

Uh, so I didn't get
to stalk you on the Internet.

What is it that you do?

I'm in social media.

Of course you are.

Well, when
I was in college,

seeing each other face-to-face,
that was our social media.

I like seeing people
face-to-face.

Damn. I've got a meeting
that I have to go to.

Oh. It's cool.

I'm sorry.

No, don't be.

-It's fine.
-I have to go.

But, look,
I'm developing

this new project
in Hartford,

5th and Maple.

Do you want to come
and take a look,

tomorrow
at, like, 1:00?

I think that
you would like it.

How do you know
what I would like?

Well, you love Jane Eyre...

you make gorgeous things.

It's right
up your alley.

Tell me you'll come.

I'll think about it.

You're gonna think...

...and then say "yes,"
and you're gonna come?

I'll think about it.

Okay.

-Please come.
-I'll think about it.

What are we
looking at?

Shh.

Who was that young man
you were flirting with?

Oh, we weren't flirting.

It was more like
a book club.

Besides, he's 12,
and I'm very married.

Married doesn't
mean "no fun."

I imagine
he would be fun.

Well, there will be
no "imagining"

with Matt Shaw.

Matt Shaw?

He didn't
say anything?

Well, no, he said
quite a bit,

he just didn't
mention that.

Nobody knows the world
of being a foster kid

better than I do.

15 homes in 10 years,

switching schools every time.

I only made it to college

because I lucked out
with the Reardons in 9th grade,

which is why
I'm building schools,

whose mission it is
to give kids consistency,

so they feel can safe,

so they can soak up knowledge
without worrying

if tonight they're gonna
have to move on.

Today, I dedicate the first
of what I hope will be

hundreds
of Reardon charter schools.

Good?

I think that's fine, right?

Hey.

Hey.

That was cool.

Yeah, you caught me, huh?
Okay.

I'm glad you came.

Oh, okay, and this is gonna be
the study center,

where there will always be
access to tutors

in every subject.

Must have been
hard for you,

to grow up like that.

I'm not gonna say
that it wasn't,

but if I didn't
grow up in the system

wanting that connection
with past friends and family,

then I wouldn't have
created Four4site...

and without it,

I wouldn't be able
to build this, so...

You know, I just...

I want this place
to feel like more than a school,

like a home.

And you have
an eye for that.

Would you consider coming on
as a design consultant?

Are you serious?

Yeah, I've been thinking about

working with repurposing
existing pieces here,

and that's exactly what you do.

Sometimes, these things
just fall into place.

Okay, I've to go meet
with some potential donors,

which is far less intriguing
than hanging with you,

but think about it.

Claire?

Hello?

-Hey.
-Hey!

So much for
the great outdoors, huh?

Yeah, my weather app
didn't mention

torrential rain and wind.

-Hello.
-Hi.

So, before the girls
come down for dinner...

we shouldn't be
talking about it yet...

But...
she can't keep a secret.

You're pregnant!

Oh, my God!

We just found out.

Oh, that's
so awesome.

I'm so happy
for you.

We're not
telling the little ones.

I'm starving.

All right,
who wants a hamburger

and who wants a hot dog?

I want a hamburger.

Hamburger, hot dog...

A hot dog
and a hot dog.

I think
we've got enough.

A hot dog...

nothing for you.

Okay...

Is it that
they're pregnant?

Don't. Don't. Don't.

Gabby, if I would have known
how strongly you felt...

You did know.

Gabby, look, I thought
it was the fair thing to do,

and I still do.

You thought it was
the "fair" thing to do?

How is any of this
fair for me?

I thought
you'd be all right.

I thought that
you would get over it.

Oh, yeah, I mean, I'm really
trying to get over it,

but every time
we have sex,

all I keep thinking
about is, like,

"How... how could he not
talk to me about this?"

I mean, seriously,
who are you

that you would go make
this decision on your own?

What... What is it

about our marriage

that you would
choose to do that?

I'm sorry.

Then reverse it.

Re... W-What?

I mean,
if you're sorry,

then reverse the vasectomy.

No?

So you're sorry...

you're just
not sorry enough.

Gabby, just...
Gabby, don't.

Okay!

Got everything?

Yep!

Okay, Olivia, here's
your ham-and-cheese sandwich.

I'm a vegan.

Okay. You know what?
Just eat the bread.

Okay! Make good choices.
Be smart.

Think ahead!

♪ All the while
you're in my head ♪

♪ And each night
I see you've fled ♪

♪ See her crash the waves ♪

♪ Crash the waves ♪

♪ New York
rained for all weekend ♪

♪ West Coast
calling her again ♪

♪ See her crash the waves ♪

♪ Crash the waves ♪

♪ See her crash the waves ♪

♪ Crash the waves ♪

♪ La-do, la-do, la-do
la-do-dah, ah-ah ♪

♪ La-do, la-do, la-do
la-do-dah, ah-ah ♪

♪ Running wild at 6:00 a.m. ♪

♪ Malibu is her best friend ♪

♪ See her crash the waves ♪

♪ Crash the waves ♪

♪ See her crash the waves ♪

♪ Crash the waves ♪

♪ La-do, la-do, la-do
la-do-dah, ah-ah ♪

♪ La-do, la-do, la-do
la-do-dah, ah-ah ♪

Hi!

Hi. Oh, my God!
Look at you!

I know,
instant baby bump.

Wow! You look
beautiful.

-Oh, thank you.
-You're welcome.

How was, uh, how was

New Year's in Vermont?
How's Elliot?

It was good,
it was good.

We're good.

How, um, how's
Mr. Four4website guy?

Oh...

I mean, what we're doing
with these schools

is so amazing.

What?

Eh. You just...

you light up
when you talk about that guy.

-Claire.
-Okay. I'm fine.

-Stop.
-There she is!

Daughter number two,
off to the orthodontist.

So you're gonna be
even prettier?

That's impossible!

Mom?

Mom, can we
please go already?

Yes. We can go.

It feels really good

to be able to help,
you know?

To be a part of
something special

and, plus,
it's grown-up dinner

and it's really good
for my career.

No making faces.
You look amazing.

Okay.

Claire shamed me into
buying some new clothes,

good clothes.

My pants
were falling off.

I haven't been
hungry lately.

Not hungry?
What's that?

Love you.

When they told me

that they wouldn't
sell me the company,

I just made them an offer
that they couldn't refuse.

So where...
where is everybody?

Everybody who?

The everybody...
the architects,

that we're supposed
to be meeting.

Uh, there...
was some rescheduling.

But I thought that you
and I could still...

get together.

Okay, I mean...

it's one thing

to be a little flirty
over text, but...

to be together
and for you to be flirty

with someone
that you can't have...

Are you absolutely certain

that I'm flirting
with somebody that I can't have?

This is not a game for me.

This is real life, you know?
Like, I...

I have a husband.

I can't do this.

Okay.

So...

Co-workers, and...

if you're really
lucky, friends.

Friends.

Okay.

Hi!

You're up?

Yeah. I don't have
the best news.

I have to, uh,

cover for Dipka at
a medical conference in Santa Fe

next week.

Next week is Spring Break.

Your sister has the girls.

We made
that reservation

at that cute, little
hotel in Montauk.

Yeah, can we change that?

To another Spring Break
when the kids are away?

Uh...

The hotel has a spa.
Why don't you just come with me?

Uh, okay, but the idea wasn't
for me to spa by myself

while you talk
G.I. issues, right?

The whole idea

was for us to be together,

to reconnect.

Mm. I'll make it up to you.
I promise.

"Private food"

is that, like,
gross-combo food

that you only eat when
you're at home alone.

Hmm.

So, like, mayonnaise
and Graham crackers.

-Ugh! Okay. Well...
-Yeah.

Well, I'm gonna do
leftover pasta

with some eggs
and hot sauce and cheese

as soon as I get home,

and think of you.

This is my workshop.

Gabby...

Your work is amazing.

It's just a...
a glorified hobby.

Why don't you shut up
and take the compliment?

I'm really bad at that.

Those chairs
aren't done yet.

They're gonna
be super-cool

when they are,
though.

This is it.

This is the desk
you made for me.

It's perfect.

Matt...

Matt, I...

Look at me.

♪ Passing love ♪

♪ Passing love
Passing love ♪

♪ Passing love
Passing love ♪

♪ Passing love
Passing love ♪

Hi.

Uh... Matt?

I have to pick Elliot
up from the airport.

Please...

please leave, okay?

Gabby...

We were in the hot tub,

in the middle of a deep debate
about Crohn's disease,

and it did occur to me

that you not coming with me
was probably the right move.

Yeah. Maybe I should have.

You okay?
You don't look so good.

No, it's fine, it's just
I have a turpentine headache.

I'm gonna take a nap.

Yeah.

This is
a library, right?

So we've got to have
a higher ceiling, I think.

Ah, there you are,

and I've got
the architects this time.

I'm not staying.

Okay... can you just
give us five minutes?

Okay, don't...

Just... stay there.

Was I that bad?

No. You were that wrong.

I've never heard
that one before.

Look.

I forgot
that marriage is-is...

is fragile and...

you can't do what we did,
and still expect it to work.

I really do like you.

Y-You can't.

Okay? You can't like me.

So...

friends?

Gabby.

It was just one night.

Everything's
gonna be all right.

♪ The sea will rise
The ship will come ♪

♪ The sea will rise
The ships will come ♪

♪ And sail us
Through the night ♪

♪ So leave with me now ♪

♪ Don't leave it
Till morning comes ♪

♪ We've nowhere to hide ♪

♪ But there's a million ♪

♪ A million miles to run ♪

A piercing party
for 'tweens?

It's just ears.

Oh, that sounds
like fun, huh?

No. It-It doesn't
sound like fun.

Look, you can go,

but you can't get
anything pierced.

I had to wait
until I was 13

and brought home
an "A" in math, so...

Shut up,
that was centuries ago.

It was, like,
three years ago!

I can't go
and not get pierced.

Well, then don't go!

But the Populars
will think...

I... You know what?

I don't care
what "the Populars" will think.

Okay? And you shouldn't care
what the Populars will think.

You should care
what you will think!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, God.

Come in.

Okay, so, the reason

I've been a raving
bitch lately is...?

Well,
it's not menopause.

You're pregnant.

Are you sure
it's not menopause?

Positive.

It would really be better
if it was menopause.

Can... Can you
check again?

Will... Will you just
check again for me?

I checked again.
Pregnant. Congratulations.

I mean, that's...
that's amazing.

That's great news.
Right? I mean, right?

So, like, I don't know,
I'm just curious,

off the top
of your head,

do you have any idea
what the chances are

that I get pregnant
if, let's say,

my husband
had a vasectomy?

And I'm... I'm...

I'm asking for a friend
who this happened to recently.

0.05%, maybe?

That much, huh?

She's gonna be
bummed about that.

She's gonna be
really bummed.

Mom? Mom, can you make
some melted butter?

You know, you're gonna
have to make it yourself

if you want it.

I have to go out back
and work on something.

Here, have some.

Damn, damn, damn.

Damn.

Oh...

Such a disaster.
What am I gonna do?

Don't have the baby.

Try to save your marriage.

Don't have the baby?

Elliot'll never know.

Just do it
and... and...

try to go back
to your normal life.

I feel like I've wanted
this baby for so long...

It's like
the biggest blessing

and the worst thing
that could possibly ever happen.

And Claire...

you know I could
never have an abortion.

Elliot.

El.

What?

Gabby, what is it?

I'm not
stupid, Gabby.

I'm not saying
you're stupid,

but there is
a possibility,

a 0.05% chance that...

Don't.

You know that's
not what I mean.

But-But there is
a possibility.

Is that really
what you believe?

Okay. All right.

You look at me
and tell me honestly

that you think
that we won

some bizarre lottery here.

Elliot, I... I...

If you're honest
with me,

I can deal with anything,
all right?

But what I can't deal with

is lies from you.

Look at me!

I don't know how to...
I don't know how to tell you.

Tell me what?

I only had sex
with him once.

-No, stop.
-It was just...

You know, you only had sex
with who once?

Matt Shaw.

Elliot.

-I'm telling you and...
-You did that?

-I love you.
-You slept with...

It didn't mean anything.

You're pregnant
with someone's baby

who you slept with?

-I don't want to lose you...
-I thought you went to...

...Don't want
to lose this baby.

-...A sperm bank or something!
-You hear me?

Listen to me!

What do you
expect me to say?

I don't know!
I-I-I...

I thought maybe
we could figure out

a way to work
through this together.

Work through this?

Elliot, please.
Just try to...

try to look at this
through my eyes.

Just-Just for a second.

We are such
an amazing family,

the four of us,

and this would just be
someone else to love.

Someone... Someone who
would love you back,

that wouldn't
have to know...

I would know!

All right? I would know!

You're asking me
to raise a kid

who-who isn't mine?

Who we'd be lying to
for their whole life?

Elliot? Elliot, please!

Listen to me!

Elliot. Elliot,
wait a minute.

Where are you going?

Elliot!

Where
are you going?

Mom, what's going on?

It's okay. Everything's okay.
Just go back to bed.

Go back to bed.

Where's Dad going?

No...

Elliot!

Hey. This is Elliot.
Leave a message.

Uh, El... Elliot,
it's me again.

Uh, can you... can you please
just call me back?

Or text me back?

I just... I just want to know
that you're okay.

Mom...

Mom! Why'd you
sleep on the couch?

Oh...

Look, where's Dad?

He promised to make
omelettes this morning.

Uh, he's... he's...

one of his patients
had an emergency.

Elliot...

we have to talk.

No, Gabby,
I can't.

Where am I supposed to tell
the girls that you are?

At work.
Just leave me alone.

There has to be

some way that I can make
this right to you, okay?

Please. I am not
in love with Matt Shaw.

Just things were...
were so off.

Oh, that justifies it?

No, it doesn't justify it!
Of course not.

Whatever was going on with us
is what was going on with us,

but you slept
with another man.

And you had a vasectomy
behind my back...

How am I
supposed get over this?

Every day, there'll be
this kid in our lives

who will be a reminder
of what you've done.

So, I mean, are you saying

that if I don't have the baby,
that you'd come back?

Because I-I can't,
that would break me.

No, I would never ask you
to do that.

But I don't want
another child.

How could you do this?

I don't know.

I just...

Honestly, I just
wasn't feeling good about us,

or about me,

and the girls
are growing up so fast,

and then it-it happened,

and I realized
it was all ....

Really?

Because now
it's a new life.

Hey.

Hi.

You okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Oh.

Oh... Oh...

Are you sick?

No.

I'm not sick.

What's going on?

Mom?

Okay, no. You know what?

You need to lay off
the whole you're "the grown-up"

and "we're the kid"
part already,

because walking out on Mom
when she's pregnant,

that's not
a very grown-up thing to do!

I get that you feel that way.

No. Don't you talk down to me.

You're still my child!

Yeah! And you know what?
This is about your new child!

It's not his fault!

It's not his.

What?

It's... It's...

It's not... his.

Mom.

It's not your dad's baby.

Gabby, I wasn't
going to tell them.

No, I know,
but they have to know the truth.

They can't blame you forever.

It's not your baby?

Olivia...

Olivia, listen to me.

Please.
Olivia.

Olivia.

How do you
just sleep with somebody

when Dad
is so great?

Who is it?

You don't know him.
It doesn't...

It doesn't matter.
He doesn't matter.

Oh, so you just
slept with somebody

who doesn't matter to you?

That means
we don't matter to you?

Is that what that means?

Of course not, Olivia!

-Dad!
-No, don't, Olivia.

-Dad!
-Listen to me, right now!

-Dad.
-Olivia!

-Dad.
-Olivia.

Can I please
come with you?

O-Okay.

Maybe, for now, maybe
that's the best idea.

Elliot.

-Listen to me.
-Okay, go.

Olivia!

Mom! Mom?
Do I have to go, too?

No. No, you don't.

He's here.
I have to talk to him.

I know he's here,
because his car's out front,

so please, please,
we have to talk...

Okay, yeah, yeah, I get...
I know.

Yeah, he's still here...

He doesn't want to talk to you.

I'm sorry.

I think he just
needs some space.

Maybe if you give him
a little more time...

he can learn
to understand.

I'm sorry,
I don't know...

I love you.
I don't...

Let me... Let me
drive you home.

Let me...

It's okay, Claire.

♪ A shadow
That just never stops ♪

♪ Look at how much
It's cost ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Are the void
I cannot fill ♪

I was told tequila
was inappropriate right now.

I mean, at least

Olivia's
talking to you.

She's not even
talking to me.

16-year-olds

aren't supposed
to talk to their moms.

I still don't
talk to Mom.

I'm such an idiot.

You're not
an idiot, Gabby.

You're human,
and humans screw up.

You just didn't
know that before

because
you never did.

All you can do is move on
the best that you can.

What does baby-daddy Matt
have to say about all this?

Gabby!

What a happy surprise
to see you on my calendar.

It's really
good to see you.

Come on, I've got something
I want you to see.

I can't believe

it's coming
together so well.

Those kids
are so lucky to have you.

I'm just lucky
I can help them.

So, uh, I mean,

do you want
your own kids someday?

You seem to love
them so much.

Uh, no.

No.

I know firsthand
what it's like to have parents

who aren't ready
to take care of you,

and I could never inflict that
on anyone.

That makes sense.

So, tell me why you're here.

I just...
I think you'll make a great dad.

You're sweet...

but not in the cards for me.

Mom?

Dad got me the dress I wanted
for poetry day.

Oh, you mean the one
I said you couldn't have?

-Yeah.
-Great.

Excuse me!

Hi. "My name is Alanna.

"I like llamas
and I like Michelle Obama.

"I have a mother and a father,
and I'm the best daughter.

"But don't tell Olivia,
my older sister,

"because, trust me,
she'll be bothered.

"Bye. I'm Alanna.

And again,
I like llamas."

Um, so, I-I stopped
by the realtor's office,

and they're gonna
have someone

call and make an appointment
to-to value the house.

Wait.

Is that what you wanted
to talk to me about?

Why would we sell the house?

Well, we're not
living together anymore.

We need money
for separate houses,

and, uh, and selling the house
is the easiest way to get it.

Yeah, I don't want
another house. Okay?

I want our house,

and if we're able
to work through this...

There's nothing
to work through.

So what are you saying?

Do you want to divorce me?

You haven't left me
any other choice.

Hi.

Hey!

I've been texting
and calling.

I wanted to come by
and see the baby.

How are you?

Flabby.

Emotional. Tired.

You don't look
any of those things.

How's Elliot?

Don't.

Ah. Well, we had coffee
the other day

and he told me he wanted
to sell the house and...

Gabby, what do you
want me to say?

Say that it's fine?

He's fine? I'm fine?

Olivia, she's doing great?

You know,
it's super-easy

having an extra two

lost people
living in my home

while my third child has colic.

I'm sorry, Gabby,

but I just...
I can't be there

for my family,
and Elliot, and Olivia,

and you
right now.

I get it.
I get it.

Come on in, everybody.

Come in and set up.

Extra mats
are on the wall...

Gabby...

Alanna!
Alanna, no, stop!

Alanna.
Alanna...

Hi!

Ow!

Alanna!

Everything's changing.
I hate it!

I know, honey.
Me too, honey.

You don't
get to hate it!

Hi.

You know what
I was thinking about?

Remember when
we used to go to lunch,

and then we'd go
to a matinee?

Uh, yeah. Um, I have
an AP Chem test right now,

and that sounds a lot
more interesting than this.

Okay, can you
slow down?

Because
I'm really pregnant

and I can't
move that fast.

You're gonna stay
at our house tonight.

Okay? With me
and Alanna.

Uh, no, I'm not.

Olivia, you don't
just get to stay

where you want to stay,

because you're unhappy
with some of the things

that we're...

Oh, "some of the things"?

Some of the things?

Okay...

most of the things.

Why are you calling it
"our" house,

when it's not gonna be that
anymore, because of you?

Okay, I know, I suck.

But Olivia...

I'm your mother,

and I love you so much.

I hate you.

Okay. Hi, Gabby.

That's right.
You call us whenever.

Yeah. That's right.

You forgot
to revoke my wifely

walk-by-the-receptionist
privileges.

It's on the to-do list.

Okay, about the house.

Well, I'm not planning on
coming back there anymore.

It's our house,
mine and the girls,

and I want
to keep at for them,

for their stability.

So I want to buy you out.

It might take me
a while, but...

I promise you,
you'll get your fair share.

You're neglecting

the fact that you need money
to buy me out.

Yeah, I know that.
I'm working on it.

Oh. Him.

Right.

"Him"? What do you...

What do
you mean, "him"?

Him? No.

No, Elliot. Not him.

I have nothing
to do with him.

It's me.

I'm keeping the house.

So you really think
that we can

turn this yard-sale obsession
into something profitable?

I think, to start,

we do a furniture
pop-up sale.

I'm almost done
rebuilding your website,

and I've a few stores
to still call.

I don't know...

You need money for the house,

It's Elliot.

Elliot?

What?

You held down Josh Gordon

and cut off his hair?

You told him
it was "too gay"?

Dad, I made a mistake.
No big deal.

No big deal?
That boy...

That poor boy!
Who are you?

Look, it was a dare, okay?

A dare from who?
The Populars?

They said I could
be one of them.

Okay. Honey,
I understand, but...

What? You...
You "understand"?

Yes, I understand

that her home life right now
is very complicated...

It doesn't matter
how complicated it is!

God, Elliot,
it's not about us.

Of course it is!

"Us" is what has
allowed this to happen.

You mean me?

Well, I'm not
the pregnant one.

Okay, and I'm not
the one that said

you'd be fine with anything,

and then I tell you the truth,
and then you're not fine.

Seriously, Gabby,

you're not able to see
the ripple effect

of what you've done.

Your actions have had
a ripple effect as well,

and you know it.

Look...

we have to try to make this work
for the girls.

The girls
are the only reason

I'm even still trying.

Apologies
are so, so, so, so, so hard.

You say you're sorry
to Dad all the time, but...

it doesn't...

it doesn't
change anything.

He's never gonna
change his mind.

Well...

that might be true.

And that would
suck, but...

it doesn't mean
I stop apologizing.

You know, I did
something wrong.

I have to apologize
for it.

♪ Go on and break the mold ♪

♪ Don't let them tell you
You're too young ♪

♪ To know ♪

♪ This life is yours ♪

♪ And can be anything
You want it ♪

♪ Don't let it go ♪

♪ You've gotta plant that seed
to get it ♪

♪ Just watch it grow ♪

♪ Come on
and live your best life ♪

♪ Sing it loud ♪

♪ Just let your voice ring out ♪

♪ They won't bring us down ♪

♪ So live it up ♪

♪ You'll make it unmistakable ♪

♪ Dance like
it's the last time ♪

Hi, guys.

Uh, look.

I don't want Christmas for you
to be like Thanksgiving for me,

because it really sucked,

so I thinking

maybe Christmas Eve
and Christmas Day,

you could come over
and we could all

celebrate together.

Uh, just... think about it.
You know?

I think it'd be
great for the girls.

Okay.

"Okay" you're gonna
think about it,

or "okay"
you're gonna come?

Okay, I'll come.

O-Okay, you're in?

-Yeah, I'm in.
-Okay.

-Okay.
-Go back inside...

-...before your feet freeze.
-Yeah.

Okay. You're in.

Crap. Crap.
Crap, crap.

Gabby!

-Hi!
-Hey!

Hi. I-I-I didn't
see you or hear you, or...

anything.

Uh, I gotta go.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.
It's good to see you.

Okay.

Matt...

Oh...

Gabby, that's...

that's great.

Yeah, I should
have told you.

Uh...

Why should you
have told me?

Well, Elliot, my husband,

had a vasectomy,

so...

The baby isn't his.

The baby's yours.

Um...

were you gonna tell me?

I mean,
I tried to tell you.

I did try to tell you,

but you said that
you didn't want to be a father.

Remember?

And I don't know,
my life kind of exploded,

and I was functioning
under this delusion

that withholding
information from you

was fair...
and it wasn't.

So...

Um...

I understand
if you don't want

anything to do with him.

"With him"?

It's okay.

It's okay?

You should have
told me, Gabby.

This is not okay.

This one's got to be
from Aunt Diane,

and hopefully,
it's a new iPad,

but I am sure
it's not.

Yep...

Handmade wool hat!

Oh, itchy head.
Itchy head!

Ahem.

Um...

we'll be upstairs.

Um, thank you,
guys, so much,

I will be playing this
all night,

and Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

We love you.

I, uh...

I'd better get going.

Uh, Elliot, Elliot.

Wait one second.

One more present.

Oh, I didn't... I didn't
get you anything.

It's okay.

It's okay. Here.
It's for you.

I can't accept this.

I'm seeing someone.

And I-I didn't plan

on telling you this
tonight, so, uh...

Uh, no. No.

Okay. Uh...

I can't expect you not
to see anyone, right?

I mean, look
at you, you're...

It's Trish.

It's Trish?

Oh...

You know, she's...

No. Listen.

Trish... Trish has
my seal of approval.

Not that you asked for
my seal of approval, but...

You couldn't be dating anyone
with, like...

you know, less flaws
than Trish.

Yeah. Uh...

Well...

Well, I am... I'm...

really glad we did this
for the girls.

You know?

I'll see you
in the morning.

Okay.

I'm sorry, baby.

I know this isn't the happiest
way to bring you here,

but I promise...

once you get here,

Mama's gonna figure out
a way to make it all better.

What did you get
Mom for Christmas?

You didn't
get her anything?

Okay, okay...

You guys didn't wake me up.

Oh, we figured
you needed a rest.

What about Santa?

Mom, you know
we know about Santa.

And we're doing
presents after breakfast

this year...
family decision.

It's time to flip.
Out of my way. Oh!

Honey, I can...

We've got it
under control.

Oh.

Okay. Uh...

Where
are you going?

We're eating.

I gotta go upstairs
just for one...

We're not gonna start
without you, we waited for you.

Yeah, Mom, I'm starving.

Oh!

Okay...

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

-You can go, you can go...
-No, no, no, no.

-...And I will take a cab.
-It's okay, it's okay.

-Ow, ow, ow, ow!
-Breathe, breathe, breathe!

You gotta breathe,
breathe, breathe...

If this is anything
like Alanna,

we got to get you
to the hospital now.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

My hospital bag
is upstairs.

You guys go
get my hospital bag.

Oh! God!
It's coming too fast. Okay.

Gabby, you need
to let go of me,

and grab onto
the bed for a moment.

Elliot.

Please?

Alright.

-Okay.
-Shh, shh, shh, shh.

I'm so grateful
you're here.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Oh, Gabby,
one more push!

One more push!

One more!

Push.

There you go.

Almost.

Here he is, guys.
Good work!

Oh!

Hi.

Hi!

Henry William Cartwright.

Cartwright?

W-Wouldn't he have
another last name?

No.

It's the same as my last name.

I have to go, Gabby.

I have to go.

Hi.

Hi.

I waited so long for you.

You have no idea.

I did,
and now here you are.

I'm gonna
love you so much.

Yeah. And you have
two sisters

and they're gonna
love you so much.

And we're gonna
be okay.

We're gonna be okay.

Next year,

we'll get you into
the other middle school here.

A clean slate.

I know that apologizing
wasn't easy and...

I know that being expelled
was really hard.

And I'm really proud of you
making the best of this, Alanna.

How can you be so nice to me

about all these crappy things
I've done

and you can't
be nice to Mom?

It's not
that simple, kiddo.

How about a burp?

Want to burp for me?

Okay. I know.
I know, I know, I know.

Okay, that's third sweater
today, little guy.

Girls! Are you guys ready?

Because if your dad gets here,
and you're not ready...

You know he...

He's here!

Hurry up, okay?

Come on, he's here!

Hi.

Oh...

Hi.

I just, uh...

I just needed to...

Yeah.

That's cool.

Uh, Henry?

This is Matt.

Matt, this is... Henry.

Holy crap.

Yeah.

I made that?

Well, I did
most of the heavy lifting,

but if, you know...

Mom!

Can you tell Alanna that...

Girls...

This is Matt.

This is Henry's dad.

Hold this.

Sorry, she's not
normally so rude.

Actually,
that's debatable.

Olivia!

Whoa, whoa,
just wait a second, though.

Uh... Gabby?

Hey.

Olivia.

Matt has a right
to meet Henry.

I mean, I don't know
if he wants to be involved...

Involved? Involved?

No, no.

Look at me.

There's nothing
between Me and Matt,

except for Henry.

You know,
if it wasn't for him,

we would still be
a real family.

Sweetheart,
we are a real family.

I mean, maybe
not the way

we all thought
it would be,

but we are.

And I need you
to listen to me, okay?

Because this is
really important.

You were right.

You're right,
this was my mistake.

But
this is where we are now,

so we have to figure out
a way to move through it.

I just...

I just want things
to go back to how they were,

you know?

I'm doing the best I can.
I really am, but it's a lot.

And I need you to try
to accept Matt in the family.

For Henry's sake.

Gabby?

Try for me.

Gabby!

Hi, Dad!

Hey.

Olivia's running
on Olivia time,

which means I get shotgun.

I forgot my phone.

Hey.
Who's that, uh...

Who's that walking
with your mom?

That's Henry's dad.

I gotta... Yeah. 'Kay.

So Monroe is the girlfriend...

a model girlfriend.

A model girlfriend

with a degree
in Engineering

from Cal Tech.

Oh! Fancy.

I think
you'd like her.

He stopped crying.

See?

I told you!
You just keep

trying every trick
until something works,

or you wear
each other out,

whichever
comes first.

I have
a lot learn.

Yes. Yes,
I remembered the tiramisu.

I did not forget.

Okay, sweetie. Bye.

I'll show you to a table.

Please follow me.

Gabby?

Hi.

Hi, guys!

You look great.

And this little guy,
how adorable is he?

Well, I think so.
Thank you.

Hi.

Uh, so are you guys
here to eat?

That's a really silly question.

Of course, you're having
dinner here!

Yeah, we're, uh,
we're meeting friends.

-Fun.
-They're at the table already.

I hate being late.

Excuse me. Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, you think
you're done dating

and then
you are couples-dating.

Uh, look.

Elliot, I want you to be happy,

because I think
you deserve happiness

and-and I screwed up.

I did.

And it wasn't because of you
or anything in the marriage,

and...

there are days now
that I wake up

and I actually
don't hate myself.

But I have to tell you
that...

Henry is...

not a mistake.

He's wonderful.

He's sweet and a gift...

And he makes my heart
so full.

So I can't apologize
anymore.

I get it, Gabs.

You do?

I do.

Elliot?

Elliot,
their sitter has a hard out

and they've been waiting,
so we really should...

Yeah.
Of course. I'm coming.

I'm sorry, Gabby.
You understand.

Of course!

Or would you like
to join us?

Oh... no, that's sweet.
She's so sweet.

No, no. That's fine.

I've got the kids at home
and-and take-out

and leaky boobs.

I'm a disaster.

Okay.

It was nice
to see you, Gabby.

I guess I should...

Go. Go, go.

Hi.

Here you go.
Sorry for the wait.

Oh, thank you.

That was a lovely evening.

Elliot, I was thinking.

I know you said

you wanted to stay
with a friend in Vermont,

but then I remembered

this inn
that Leah told me about.

It's spa heaven,

and we could use
the get away.

A couple of couples' massages
never hurt anyone.

We'll bring
the kids some other time...

...And someone
just canceled.

Elliot?

What?

I booked it.

The hotel.

Elliot?

Let's go home.

Gabby, hi.

Trish, I didn't expect
to see you here.

Well, I missed
the sunrise yoga

so Claire convinced me
to sneak into this one.

Claire.

So is this it?

This is how
it's gonna be now?

Forever?

Um, maybe not?

I hope not.

Uh, Trish,
would it be weird

to ask you to say hi
to Elliot for me?

It's...it's weird.

I know, I know.
It's weird. Okay.

Bye.

Gabby?

Yeah?

I'm not going to say hi
to Elliot for you.

I know, that's so weird.
I'm sorry I asked.

Considering that we're not
seeing each other anymore...

So I think that you should
say hi to him yourself.

Now.

Really?

Really.

And Gabby, don't blow it.

You were meant
to be together.

You just really are
impossibly perfect.

Thank you.

Hi! Excuse me!

Bumpy! Bumpy-bumpy.
Bumpy.

Bumpy.

Thank you.

Gabby?
Gabby, stop.

I need to talk
to Elliot.

No. Don't go up there.

What? He revoked
my walk-by-the-receptionist

privileges?

What? No, no.
He just...

I can't do this.
I gotta go.

This was a big mistake.
Listen.

Trish told me
that I should...

-But I need to tell him myself.
-Tell me? Tell me what?

Hi. I was, uh,
trying to tell you

that he just
ran to the coffee truck

and he'd be right back.

Oh.

Is everything okay?

No.

Everything is not okay.

I should be able
to wake up

next to you
in the morning,

and-and roll over

and stare into your eyes

and-and say hi to you
for myself.

I'm sorry
in a million ways,

I regret

hurting the man
that I love.

And I want that man back.

Elliot, I do.

I want you back.

And I totally get
that it's impossible

because Henry and I are, like,
you know, a package deal now,

and...

it's more than
you bargained for.

Gabby.

I know.
I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

No, no, no.
Just...

wait.

Look, you're not
the only reason

that we're not waking up
in each other's arms

every morning.

You told me,

and I wouldn't listen

because I was too busy
blaming you.

And I wasn't able
to see or-or admit

to my hand
in where we ended up,

and I don't know...

I don't know when I stopped
talking to you about us,

or stopped working on things,
but I did.

And...

I am sorry

in a million ways, too.

You know how much
I love a package deal.

Especially one
that includes you.

W...

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

I can't
find my phone.

Olivia, can you call my phone?

I'm busy.

-You're texting.
-I'm busy texting.

Mom? Aunt Josephine?

-I'm flipping.
-I'm eating.

Caffeinating.

This family.

Hi, guys!
Come on in!

♪ We brought doughnuts! ♪

How many times
do I have to tell you

that you don't have to bring
something every time you come?

Eh, a zillion.

-Hey.
-Hey.

Monroe, would you call
my phone, please?

-Yes.
-Thanks.

Monroe, there is a song
that you have to hear.

My friend sent it.
It's so good.

Henry!

The addiction
starts early.

He's stinky.

I think
my phone's stinky, too.

Ho, ho, ho.

Oh, ho, ho. Yeah.

He's got a full diaper, man.

All right.

Go for it.

♪ New York
rained for all weekend ♪

♪ West Coast
calling her again ♪

♪ See her crash the waves ♪

♪ Crash the waves ♪

♪ See her crash the waves ♪

♪ Crash the waves ♪

♪ La-do, la-do, la-do
la-do-dah, ah-ah ♪