Talking to God (2014) - full transcript

What's your name?

Rebecca, what's yours?

I don't know.

What are you doing here?

I have no idea.

I vaguely remember
asking a question.

What was the question?

Daddy, why am I here?

You want to stay up
all night and play.

No Daddy, I don't mean
why am I here in my bedroom.

Why am I here in the world.

What am I here for?

Rebecca, you're deep.

Now go to sleep.

mean you don't know?

Do you?

Yes, I did ask
questions like that

when I was a kid. I was deep.

But don't get me wrong.

I'm not that deep.

It really all started

with how most searches for
meaning start... with pain.

Lots of pain.

Everything in my body ached.

I was wracked with
back pain for years,

but lately the pain
had gotten worse.

To top it off, I couldn't
sleep at night anymore

and I couldn't figure out why.

I didn't want to take pills.

You're lonely,

you just need to find the
right guy, someone said.

You're lonely, you need
to find the right guy.

Try acupuncture.

You will feel much better.

Those herbs are for sleep.

You take 30 drops
three times a day.

You will probably go
through a bottle a week.

How much is each bottle?

Is 85.


Yes, and this one is 90.

And this.

Change your bed, they said.

Is our top of the
line, state of the art,

pillow top mattress

with over two and a half
feet of memory foam!

Two and a half feet?

I guarantee, you
will never, ever

want to rise up from this bed.


With over
two and a half feet

of memory foam.

Over two and a half
feet of memory foam.

Ah. Ow.

crickets chirping

Nothing helped.

I cannot help you.

Maybe have to learn to be
happy with what you have.

11th night of insomnia.

Rebecca, is that you?

Blair Mushkinski,
spiritual fanatic

and my best friend's sister
from the third grade.

In 10 seconds she'll push
some religious book on me.

Blair, hi, I didn't
know you came here.

Thank God.

I'm learning The
Garden of Emuna book.

Have you read this book?

It is so amazing.

What's wrong?


You look terrible.

What's going on?

If I start talking
I'll start crying.

Come sit with me, I'm
learning The Garden of Emuna.

The Garden of what?

Emuna, you know, like faith.

It's the Hebrew word for faith.

And you're learning this why?

It's my mother.

She's forcing you.

Oh, God forbid, no,

it's just since she's
been reading this book

she's been kind of nice to me.

She smiles a lot and
she just seems happy.

Your mother, really?

Sorry to say this, but
your mother, happy?

Oh, you know everything
she went through in her life.

So how do you explain it?

She read this book, thank God.

So I thought, if it
could make her happy.

Look, don't be alone right
now, come sit with me.

the thing about desperation.

You're so much more
open to things.

These are the
principles of faith.

Number one,
everything good or bad

comes from God.

Number two, it's
all for the best

even if we can't see
why at the moment.

This is it?

The magical book
that made your mother happy?

That's it, it's
all for the best?

So all the garbage and
suffering we go through

every single day
is for the best?

I love you, Blair,

but it's not for me, I'm sorry.

religious propaganda.

It's all for the best.

all for the best.

all for the best.

12th night of insomnia.


I can't take it anymore,

what do you want from me?


I'll do anything, help me!


OK, God, I've tried
everything else.

I don't exactly know what
I'm doing here, but OK.

It's all from You,
it's all for the best.


sleeplessness is from You.

Help me!

These pains from You,

all my loneliness and
fears are from You.

It must be for the best,
it's from You, right?


I'll just have faith.


I'll choose
to have faith.

Help me.

It's all from You, it's
all for the best.

If this is what You want
from me right now then

I accept it.

I accept it.

I accept it.

I accept it.

And I felt calm.

That night, for the first
time in a long time, I slept.

Excuse me, do you have
The Garden of Emuna book?

I can't find it anywhere.

Sorry, Geveret,
completely sold out.


It means
Mrs. in Hebrew.

It's OK, Rebecca,
we'll just use my book.

But I wanted my own copy.

We can order it.

Look, The Garden of Emuna is
Rebbe Nachman's teachings,

but you can also
read his stories.

He had stories?

Oh, yes, they're
very mystical, really esoteric,

so kabbalistic, I barely understand
them, but I love them.

My favorite is the one with
The Fixer and the King.


You know he was
born in the Ukraine.

Who is?

Rebbe Nachman.

I was there once to
visit his grave site.

Completely changed my life.

I know it's all from God
and it's all for the best,

but if I have to go
on another blind date

I will shoot myself.

That doesn't sound like you,

you're inspiring, not suicidal.

I've reached a point,
I'm ready to do anything.

You're still thinking
about liposuction?


Uman, what is that?

Is that a new
surgical technique?

No, the Ukraine, where
Rebbe Nachman is buried.

Let's go, what do you say?

What, are you crazy?

What, is she crazy?

Look, you got to be careful
about going on these group trips

to tour these remote areas.

My Uncle Daryl went to
Uganda on a group trip,

uch, we never saw him again.

Rebecca, I am telling you,
people have had real miracles

after going to Uman.

Couldn't you use a
miracle right now?

Couldn't we both?

Blair, just get it
through your head,

there's nothing on this
earth that would ever

make me go to Ukraine.

Ach. Hmm.


Oh, no.

there I was in Uman in July,

over 100 degrees temperature.

We lost our hotel rooms,

had to stay in bunk beds
with six to 12 in a room.

One bathroom for 20 women.

Needless to say, it was a miracle
we didn't kill each other.

People from all over
the world travel here

to the grave site of
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov,

whose teachings on
faith were the basis

of the book we'd been learning.

This was it?

Rebbe Nachman's grave site?

No bells, no whistles, just
desperate people praying to God,

but I felt lost.

I couldn't connect.

You do realize there are

11 other
women in this room

besides you?

Did someone move the fan?

Crazy night, huh?

I can be a little sensitive
to noise at night.

It's not exactly
the Waldorf, is it?

No, it's not the Waldorf.

- But I don't mind it.
- You don't?

No. Honestly, I'm at
that point in my life

where a smile means more to me

than a goose down
feather pillow.

Rebbe Nachman would go out
into these fields every day

by himself, for at
least an hour a day

and speak to God.

I'd love a goose down
feather pillow right now.

Baruch Hashem, I spent a
lot of time with your daughter

when she was in Florida.

She's a lovely, lovely girl.

She should find a
wonderful boy very soon.

Thank you so much.

It's just nice to
be around people.

For me it depends
on the people.

You OK to hike in
those flimsy shoes?

They're year old
Manolo Blahniks.

I was gonna throw
them out anyway.


I'm a writer.

I spend a lot of time alone.

What kind of writer are you?

I write a health / healing
column for Ohm Magazine.

Have you heard of it?

Yeah, I think so.

You've never heard
of it, no one has,

but it is the biggest
magazine that deals with

the whole
mind-body-healing issue.

Well, they were the biggest.

They're downsizing, so they
fired me two weeks ago.

That's rough.

How have you been
spending your time?

Mostly kvetching.

When I was little,

my mother would see me walk
into the kitchen in the morning

and she'd say, "Look
it's the kvetcher".

"She's up and she's kvetching."

Well they'll have
other names for it,

depression, anxiety, personality
disorder, yada, yada, yada.

So why are you here?

Do you have to know why
you're here to be here?

Well, it doesn't hurt.

See that woman over there?

She wants to get pregnant.

Marital problems, money
problems, yada, yada, yada.

And that's Rebetzen Eliana.

I've heard some interesting
stuff about her.

She knows things about
you, she's very intuitive.

People go to her all the
time with their problems.

Ah! Rebetzen Eliana

I wonder if I could
ask you a question.

I'm Brenda, by the
way, from New York.

I heard so much about you

and I had this crazy
dream last night.

Maybe you could tell
me what it means.

I am walking down the aisle
wearing this long white dress.

I got to the chuppah

and who turns around
but Julio Iglesias.

Anyway, in the beginning,

Julio and I were so happy

but then something changed.

These strange women started
showing up at our door.

Well of course, my Yan,
looked a little like Julio

but he never cheated on me.

At least not that I know of.

What do you think?

- Didn't you see the sign?
- What?

You are number 82 aren't you?

Um, yeah.

And you're still
standing there because why?


Why does everyone have the same

idiotic expression
on their face?

Sometimes it makes
me want to scream.

Do you have any
idea where you are?

You did get the invitation.

Come on, come one, put
a spring in your step,

Miss I Don't Know Why
I'm Here On This Earth,

you're not the only one waiting.

Well, I don't know what
you said or what you did,

but apparently you
got ahead of the line.

Ahead of all these people.

And look how miserable they are.

But at least they're
better than these idiots.

They don't even know
anything's wrong.

I have nothing to say.

- Assist, please.
- What?

I can't do this
without you, Rebecca.

What's wrong with her?

What isn't wrong with her?

- Can it be fixed?
- Maybe.

- If you help.
- How?

- Tell me the truth.
- About what?


What do you want to know?

Why are you here?

You hate computers

but you spend all your
days working on them.

You've dreamt your whole
life of making films

but instead you
color-correct them?

Intellectually, you
believe in a benevolent God

but you've never
really been able to feel it.

And the people closest to you

have no idea who you are inside.

♪ Is it any wonder ♪

♪ You feel alone all the time? ♪

Who are you?

Are you a surgeon
or a psychic?

Come with me.


Where are we?

You want to make
films, don't you?

Warner Renquist?

The King of Hollywood?

This is great.

You could introduce me

to the head of Warner
Renquist Studios?

Wait, shouldn't we knock?

Sh, watch.

Stavros says you're
safe from that bean lawsuit

Stavros says we're safe
from that bean lawsuit.

Safe from that bean lawsuit.

Stavros... is an

incompetent fool.

Uch, his breath stinks.

Wait, what is this?

I didn't see anyone talking.

Oh, you're hearing
his inner thoughts.

I can do that?

With me you can.

Do I have
enough in that offshore account

to cover the resort remodel?

Should never have
trusted that accountant.



Hi, my name's Dinky
and I'm stupid.

Sell that stock.

What are you waiting for?

I have to go to that darned
orthopedist for the knee.

He can't sleep either.

Darned knee!

Darned knee!

Darned knee!

Teras, so I
know so much about, you know?

The work
published and performed.

The composer and pianist,
who lives in New York City.

Another cappuccino,
Roberto, pronto.

Honey, it's your fifth.

You have your green
juices, I have my caffeine.

How do you expect me to function

after not sleeping all night?

I can't stand them.


Happy people.

What, honey?

I said, I have three
islands, seven homes,

thousands of
servants, employees.

I frickin' own half of Hollywood

and yet I'm miserable.

And if I'm miserable
with all this,

then no one has a
right to be happy.

If anybody out there
is happier than I am

I will kill them.

I will freakin' kill them.

No one's allowed to have
less worries than I do.

What are you smiling about?

I had no idea he
was so miserable.

That's it!

Some call him the
King of Sadness.

Where is he going?

No one
has a right to be happy.

If there's somebody out
there who's happier than I am

I will kill them.

I will freakin' kill them.

What's gonna happen to her

when I'm gone?

Is he smiling?

He does seem satisfied.

Who's gonna help me

when I can't walk anymore?

Why is he smiling?

Misery loves company.

I picked Jason up
from soccer practice

after waiting an hour
and he just glares at me.

Two years ago he worshiped
the ground I walked on,

now it's the silent treatment.

Between him and this one
I don't sleep anymore.

Why didn't I have kids

when I had the chance?

VOICEOVER: I don't know

how much longer
I can keep going.

I'll never get a job.

I hate my job.

I wish I
was doing something I love.

Why can't
I make a living

doing what I love?

Need a
vacation, I'm exhausted.

got back from vacation

and I'm exhausted.

am I gonna do with my life?

if I end up alone?

doesn't call, he doesn't call.

Why doesn't he call?

How could I
get Jenny to go out with me?

It's OK, soon
they'll turn into them.

I don't get it.

How did they?

Turn into that?

Worries, fears,
anxiety, sadness.

Why is he so happy?

He lives
alone in a crumbling shack.

What's he so happy about?


That's it, I'm goin' in!


Hello, sir.

Haven't eaten in three days.

Wondering if you could
spare some food? I...

Is that herb-crusted
beef, with...

scalloped potatoes and...


Now that is simply

You've got the quite the
nose on yourself, don't you?

Well, you have to
come inside now.

I drink to you, my friend.

May your cupboards
be full of couscous,

your mind clear of
clutter and your heart,

may your heart be
filled with joy.

Thank you, my friend.

Thank you.

Who are you?

So you have a feast
like that every night?

Yeah, yeah, I don't
go a day without it.

How long you been doin' it?

Ever since I can remember.

But how can you afford
all that food every night?

I'm a fixer.

A repairman, you know, I
can't really make anything

but, why, I can fix
just about anything.

So in the morning, I go out

and I fix things.

Once I've made 40 bucks I buy
all the food and drink I need

and I go home.

That's great, that's great.

But tell me, where do you
get all your fixing work?

The studio, you
know, Renquist Studios?

They've known me
since I was a boy.

My father used to work for them.

I'm not on the
books or anything,

but I just help out
when they need it

and they sort of just
pay me on the spot.

- How nice.
- Yeah.

That's right, you heard me.

If I hear of anyone
giving any work

to any bugger who's
not on the payroll,

I will personally grind
their bones into dust

while they're sleeping!

Got me?

Sorry Larry, I don't have
any work for you today.

Oh, that's OK, Bob.

Not a problem at all.

I'm sorry, Larry,
there's nothing.

Are you sure?

There's a broken
wheelbarrow right there.

It's supposed to be broken

for the scene.

Oh, OK it's all right.

It's OK, hey, hey, hey.

I'll see ya'.

I feel terrible,
Larry, I really do.

I just hope your Dad, may God
rest his soul, forgives me,

but we can't hire you anymore.

Oh, Douglas, I've been
fixin' stuff for you guys...

- Since you were six.
- Yeah.

I know it, Larry,

and you're better than
anyone on the payroll.

So then, then, why?

The King said no
more non-payroll hires

for fixing jobs.


I know this is from You.

I know
this is for the best.

We're not following him?

I just need to rest a minute.

What just happened?

You need
a hand with that?

Dude, you like read my mind.

Honestly never used
one of these before.

Well, let me take
it off your hands.

I'm sure you've got much more
important things to be doing.

Dude, thanks.

Dude, you like
saved my life, man.

Honestly, this is
worth every peso.

The pleasure's all
mine, dude.

Can't wait to see
a grown man cry.

Mmm, what smells so good?



Eggplant Parmesan?

Garlic bread?

Caramel apple
crostata for dessert?

Got it, come on in.



I drink to you, my friend.

May your cupboards always
be full of crostata.

Your mind clear of clutter

and your heart filled with joy.

Come here, my brother.

Thank you, thank you.

I drooled on your sweater.

Oh, no, I'll wash it
out, it's all right.

It's wine but...

It's funny, he never has any
trouble falling asleep here.

Who are you?

So, were you fixing
things on the lot again?

Is that how you got
the money for the food?

No, no, apparently the big
cheese, King of the studio,

he forbade any non-studio
hires for repairs yesterday.

So I couldn't find a job, but
then I bumped into this guy

trying to cut wood for a film
set and I helped him out.

He paid me.

- How wonderful.
- Yeah.

Hey dude, more wood
for choppin'?

Dude, I wish,

but I got in some serious
trouble about manana.

I mean, yesterday.

No more non-studio
hires, sorry dude.

I wish I could use ya'.

Oh, no, it's OK,

I understand.

- I
- know this is from You.

God, I know
that this is for the best.

You don't want to follow him?

Hold on, I'm thirsty.

I don't get it,
what's in there,

an amusement park or somethin'?



Larchmont, what happened?

Ah, I slipped on
a banana, Larry.

That's a good
one, you slipped on a banana.

I really slipped on a banana.


If I don't finish cleaning
these stables by end o' day

they're going to fire me.

They already
grumbling I too old.

And you know what?

They're right.

Larchmont, you
leave this to me.

- Don't you look happy.
- What?

You were smiling and
dancing in your sleep.

- No I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.

You were even singing,
it woke me up.


- You were.
- Oh, yeah.





So how's the wood
chopping business?

Well, I wouldn't know.

King of Hollywood outlawed
outsiders from chopping wood.

If I didn't know better,

I would say the King
was out to get me.

That's ridiculous, isn't it?

Of course.

But I bumped into this guy
cleaning out stables on set

and I helped him out and
he was pretty grateful.


I don't know how
they found out, Larry,

but they found out.

They say if I hire you
again I'm finished.

Or my bones probably
will be ground into dust.

You know, my ex-son-in-law,
don't pay no child support.

I gotta help my
little girl, Larry.

I gotta hold on to this job.

I know this is from You.

I know that this
is for the best.

We're not gonna
follow him, are we?

You're a smarty-pants,
aren't you?

Meketo mi bon bon.

Son of a *#@!

Don't count that.

hear me Corporal Sagget?!


We need 200 more
soldiers, Pronto!

But sir,

no one's volunteering.

No buts, Sagget.

Just recruits.





Yes, sir!

Hand me a three wood
if you would there, um.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me.

I saw the sign?

That's great.

I mean, you did?

Yeah, Larry Fixer.

Most people just
call me the Fixer.

You are still seeking soldiers
for temporary service?

You're looking for
the short-term option.

Yeah, I hope that's doable.

Don't see why not.

Oh, there is just one thing.

I would need to
leave every night.

Sure, we can do that.

Oh, and I would need
to be paid every morning.

Is that possible?


I think we can
work something out.


Who are you?

So I guess
work's going OK?

You know, I never
thought I'd say this,

but it seems the work at the
studio is all finished for me.

No one will hire me.

- No.
- Yeah.

What are you gonna do?

It's too bad you can't
make your feasts anymore.

Oh, no, I can still do 'em.

Yeah, I saw this sign
for soldiers for hire

and as soon as I found out they
would pay me every morning,

I signed right up.

What a miracle.

I am so happy for you.

Yes, sir.

No, sir.

Yes, sir.

Understood, sir.

Loud and clear.

Marge, get the Fixer
in here, pronto,

Ah. Hmmm. Ummm. Brrr. Ummm.

Can't pay you today, Fixer.

Oh, but we had an agreement

that you would pay me every day.

True, but the
Captain just called,

the King decreed that
no one gets paid today.

The King, what King?

You know, Renquist.

Oh, Renquist, like
the studio Renquist.

What? You didn't
know? He runs this army.

Oh, no, I didn't know that.

Anyway, you don't
understand, corporal,

I really need that money or
else I can't do my little...

Can't what?

Well like... Oh
it's not important.

Listen, I just really,
really need the money.

Hands are tied, Fixer.

Can't go against the King.

I will pay you
tomorrow for two days,

but today it's impossible.



I know
this is for the best.


Hey! So how's
the new job goin'?

Oh, good now.

It was a little
hairy for a second.

The King, he suspended
all salaries.

I wasn't sure I was gonna get
the money to make a feast.


Well what?

Well, how did you get
the money, damn you?

I mean,
I'm just curious.


I pawned my gun.

How much for the gun?




Yeah, so when I get paid today,

I'll redeem the gun
and put it back.

How much for this?

Two bucks.

No one will know
the difference.

Like I said, I can fix
anything, I tell ya'.

The King will
never know a thing.

That's wonderful.

I have an enemy prisoner.

He killed 20 of our
men in cold blood.

The government wants him dead,

but they don't want
to do it themselves.

Call that Fixer
guy you recruited.

To kill a man?

You have a problem with that?

Yes, sir.

I mean, no, sir.

Anyway, the idiot
pawned his gun.

He's carryin' around a fake.

He has the gall to think
he could get away with it.


Let's see him get
himself out of this one.


Get me my cappuccino, pronto.

You summoned me, Mr. Renquist?

Yes, execute that
man over there.

He's a vicious criminal.

A terrible, frightening
monster of a man.

He's a threat to society
and to all of mankind.

Oh, but I've never
killed anyone before.

Well, it's a
perfect time to start.

Please, you have to get
someone else to do it.

I gave you an order, private.

You have a problem
following orders?

Is his case really that clear?

I mean what if his
case is not clear?

What if he didn't do it?

Maybe he didn't do it?

What if he doesn't
deserve to die?

The case
against him is certain.

No doubt whatsoever.

Execute him now.





God almighty, never
in my entire life

have I killed a
person, any person.

If this man is innocent, I
mean really and truly innocent,

I'm beggin' ya' God,

you sweet, sweet God,

let my gun not be a gun.

Let it be a harmless and
completely useless toy.

Thank you.

Come here, Fixer.

Go in peace, Fixer.

Go in peace.

Thank you so much,
thank you so much.

And may I say, you
look so familiar.


- Cut.
- That's it?

It's late,
you need to sleep.

But I don't get it.

You don't get it?

I don't get it.

You don't get it.

Tell you what,

tomorrow I'll tell you the
other version of the story.

another version?

Rebetzen Eliana,

my dream continued last night.

Julio Iglesias and I

were having a baby.

There I was

giving birth in Yankee Stadium.

Thousands of people watching me.

Yan and I never
had kids, you know,

but I always imagined

that it would be more
painful than that.

But of course, it
was just a dream.

So that's makes no sense.

Brenda, what are you dong?

What do you mean?

Rebetzen Eliana doesn't
speak a word of English.

She only understands
Hebrew and French.

How did you end
up coming here?

Oh, I heard about it
when I was back at home.

I was writing an article

about the power of
prayer in healing.

So you found a connection?

Well, in the end, I figured
that if the soul is healed

and doing what it
needs to be doing,

the body just naturally follows.

How do you heal your soul?

I have no idea.

But they call, Rebbe Nachman
the doctor of the soul.

This is just so strange,
doctors of souls, fixers, kings,

it can't get any
weirder than this.


She doesn't look so good.

You think?

You said you had another
version of the story.

Ah, yes.

Wow, who's that?

The King.

The real king.

This is his land.

He does
seem different.

I have everything.

There can be no
one happier than I.

Who can have fewer
worries than I have?

Maybe I'll investigate.

Louis, it's been four years,
the bakery isn't working.

I'm tired of having
nothing to eat.

Who'll take care of me

when I can't walk anymore?

What's gonna happen to her

when I'm gone?

Yeah, but this is just
like the other story.

Yes and no, let's
just fast forward.

How is he happy?

His home is sunk
into the ground.

He has nothing.

He is behaving as if
he has everything.

I must find out.


Entree, door's quite open.

Consider my home your home
from floor to ceiling.



So it
is possible to have nothing

yet be totally happy.

But I wonder, can he keeps
this state of happiness

when things are
not going his way?

Let me see what happens
when I ruin this for him.

The rest of the story
is pretty much the same.

So what's the difference?

So tell me, where did
you get all this stuff?

Well, I'm a fixer.

What do you think?

Well, this king
doesn't seem like a bad king.

If I hire you, I'll be
arrested, by king's orders.

He just wants to see
what The Fixer is made of.

Can he stay happy when
things are not going his way.

Is that it?

No, of all the places
the King could be,

he goes out of his way
to eat with this guy

and stay in his home.

And why him?

Is it because he's
happy no matter what?

Wouldn't you prefer the
company of such a person?

Yeah, but I have to tell ya'

that's a very hard
level to be at,

don't you ever just
wake up in a bad mood,

or sometimes a person
has real problems,

sickness, poverty, pain.

Are we not supposed
to feel anything,

become a society of robots

putting a pretend
smile on our face

while actually screaming inside?

This is the part
of the story you never saw.

Watch again.

We're going in?

We're going in.

We're going in.

What's he doing?

You said sometimes
you just want to scream.

So scream!




- I can do that?
- Of course.

God, help me!

I don't know what to do.


What do You want me to do?

I don't know what to do.


I need to make a living.

I can't take it anymore.


I'm willing to do anything.

Just help me.

A person's screams
can carry their prayers

to the highest places.

God, I know this is from You.

And I know this is for
the best, just guide me.

A broken heart
is very precious.

Help me trust in only You.

Give me faith.

Talk to God every day.

For at least an hour.

Be yourself with Him,
tell Him everything.

So that's how

he stayed happy
despite everything.

I thought he was
super-human or something.



I thought you were...

Didn't I have a pulse?


Sorry, was I supposed
to check for that?

I think so, yeah.

I woulda checked for that.

What happened to you?


So what made you come here?

Forgive me,
super-invasive question.

Of course you're here for
the same reason I'm here,

but you shouldn't
have any problems.

I mean, look at you.

That's what everyone says.

Barbara, we can't figure it out.

You have everything.

Looks, personality, you
dress like a million bucks,

you actually have
a million bucks.

Why are you still single?

Nope, no one ever
says that to me.

Most people tell me I should
smile more and wear makeup.

Someone even
mentioned liposuction.

That was a joke, OK?

Yeah, it was hilarious.

I don't know what to say.

I feel as if I have
to give them a reason

even when I don't know why.

I've been looking
for over seven years.

One day you'll be
ecstatic to be on your own

with no husband
to drag you down.

Tom was more like another child
to me than a real partner.

Brenda, you never
said, why did you come?

I have cancer.

So how do you talk to God?

It can be stream
of consciousness

or if you want structure you
can divide up your conversation

into three parts.

First part,

start with gratitude

for the things that are
working in your life.

For the things
you're happy about.

Second part,

tell God your problems

as if to a close
friend or a therapist.

Tell him everything
in your own words.

Ask questions.

Do you need to change something?

To fix something?

And then, the last part.

Ask for help.

Ask for what you want.

Ask, ask for everything

you need and don't hold back.

An idea, thank God

for giving it to you

as if you already had it

even if you don't have it yet.

Everyone, pick a spot

and spend an hour
talking to God.

And remember, start
with gratitude.

Thank you, God,
for my gorgeous eyes.

Thank you, God,

for my new teeth, implants.

Thank you, God,
that my eyes look good

with almost any
color eye shadow.

That I can now chew hard food.

Thank you, God, for that
amazing five course meal

at the Waldorf on Sunday.

Thank you for my new hip.

Thank you, my son smiled
at me before I left.

Thank you, God,
for my size 26 waist.

I don't need a walker anymore.

Thank you, God, for my
new leopard skin shoes

and matching gold sequin belt.

Thank you for

letting me stay in the hospital

longer, 'til they could
get me home health aide.

Thank you, I didn't
forget my pills.

Oh, and I almost forgot,

thank you for my new Armani bag.

I especially love the golden
clasp with a smiley face.


Well, I know there's
more gratitude stuff

but I kinda need to talk.

Despite everything I have, God.

I'm just not happy.

I'm just not happy.

I'm just not happy.

How could I be happy?

I'm like the six
million dollar woman.

Half my body's made of titanium.

My hip, my knee,

my teeth.

How can I be happy?

I'm on six different

they all have 10
different side effects.

I just got fired.

What's next?

And my son hates me.

How can I be happy?

I can't find a man.

All my friends are married

and let's be real, God,

my friends are great,
but I was the one

who was supposed to
be married first.

I mean, come on,
God, look at me.

I just have a question, God.

A simple question.

What was the point?

I can't find
anyone that I like.

The two marriages,
Alan leaving me,

my parents dying, meeting Yan,

then him dying too.

All the guys that like
me, all they care about is

money, cars and clothes.

They are so superficial, so
arrogant, so full of themselves.

Taking care of everyone.

Just to watch them die.

I don't want that.

I'm not like that.

My meaningless job.

Am I?

Am I like that?

What am I supposed to say?

Thank you that I got fired?

That I'm on speed dial

with a psychiatrist
and a psychologist?

I mean, Is it my fault
you've given me so much?

OK, I know, I know, I'm not
living up to my full potential.

I know I could be doing
more with myself, but what?

I mean, right now,
all I do is eat, shop,

work out and worry
about not being married.

Maybe if I hadn't gotten fired

I wouldn't have the time
now to just focus on myself

instead of just
writing about it.


I should embrace who I am.

Still, how do you expect
me to believe in you

when there's so much chaos
going on in the world?

Should I embrace who I am?

Can I embrace who I am?

In my mind, with my
son and in my work.

Can I embrace myself
just the way I am?

If only I could
just feel you with me

in the midst of all this chaos.

God, that felt good.

I can't remember the last time
someone hugged me like that.

Maybe it's OK to love
clothes and fashion.

Maybe I should do
something with this.

What do you think, God?

I mean, maybe that's the
reason I'm still single.

What was the point?

Because now the doctors
are saying it's all over.

And everything just passed like
some dull and painful dream

I barely even noticed.

I'm not ready to go yet.

This can't be all there is.

I still haven't
figured out who I am,

what I'm supposed
to do with my life.

I know I'm 65, but so what?

Until I'm in the ground
I'm not giving up.

So the question is, what
do you want from me?


Why am I here, huh?

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

I read this beautiful
idea that every

soul comes into this
earth with a special song

that only it can sing.

Can a person live their
whole life and never sing it

or waste it trying to
sing someone else's song?

♪ Is it any wonder ♪

♪ You feel alone all the time? ♪

The world is full of messages.

Trim, lean,
abs in just minutes...

this and you'll be happy.

Change that and
you'll be a success.

Lose weight, be perfect.

handmade jewelry.


I love you.

I love you.

Make a lot of money
and you'll be happy.

But I'm not.


Wish I could be happy like that.

Do you really?

Of course, who wouldn't?

- OK.
- Huh?

I wish I could
be happy like that.

Just think of the scuff marks.

I gotta tell ya'
somethin', Fixer.

You're probably the best friend.

Actually, you're the only
friend that I have ever had.

But I just don't understand why.

Why all this?

Why do you insist on doing
all of this every night?

Why is it so important?

I came here thinking
I'd get an answer,

but I still don't know.

Talk to God every day.

For at least an hour.

Be yourself with Him.

Tell Him everything.

But the rest of the time,

the other 23 hours of the day,

a person must enlist
all their strength

to be joyful at all times.

It's human nature to be drawn
to depression and sadness

because of life's daily events.

Believe me, everyone is
filled with suffering.

No matter how it
looks on the outside.

That is why you

must force yourself

to be joyous at all times.

To make yourself happy

in any way possible.

Even with silliness

if necessary.


How does she look?

Looks good to me.

My life is unfolding.

Whether I'm doing
it right or not,

I don't want to waste it.

If I could have faith
that You're with me

in every decision, even
the seemingly wrong ones,

then maybe my life would
be a life of meaning.

She said,

ask for what you want


you already have it.

Thank you, God,

for healing me.

Thank you for
sending me my soulmate.

Thank you for getting
me off all those meds.

Maybe I'm here to find you,

in myself,

in others,

in everything around me

then every moment

would be my life's purpose.

Every moment would be my song.

Who are you?

Every breath, every thought,

every word,

every movement,

is that why I'm here?

To find you in it?

Why are we dancing?

Maybe because
it makes you happy.

Do you think that maybe
being happy is the thing

that makes your prayers heard?

So, do
you know why you're here yet?