Sweet Troubles (1985) - full transcript

Slovak Film Distribution


Story and Screenplay by:




Executive Director:

Director of Photography:

Directed by:

Start cleaning up...

Leave the hose, Filip...

I don't want to say it again!

It's time...


- Do you need help opening the tap?
- Yes.

Now, what did Ijust say?

Filip, cut it out.

Who's opened the tap?

- Mr. Sindelka...
- Mr. Sindelka!

Good afternoon.

This was a good one.

Gee, sorry... Should have known better.

Simon... Anything in the mail?

Just newspapers, mom...

Wait, Iet me help you...

Thanks, I'm fine...

What is it?

Good afternoon. How are you?

You Iook great.

- What's that?
- It's the mail...

Nothing again?

I wrote back to at Ieast a hundred
ads, with no reply...

You got to be patient...

Those women can't be trusted.

We have to write and ad,
and the choice will be yours.

- Are you baking cakes again?
- Yes... so what?

This friend of mine helped me.

She knows these things,
although she's illiterate...

Are you llstening to me?

Athirty-year old, tall, artist,
llkes sports, owns a mansion and a car,

is Iooking for a respectable girl
of similar qualities.

Reply to: ''Sweet Life''.
How's that?

Goodness, mom, such nonsense.

We got a house, don't we?
A mansion is a house.

You'll buy a car, and confectionery is art,

and she'Il have a sweet llfe with you,
won't she?

And what about sports?

So what? You ride a bike!

You're so fussy.
Always spoil my mood.

They'll be just right in five minutes.

Good evening, gentlemen.
Everything's ready?

Two shots of brandy and a Hennessy.

We're out of tea.

Don't mix them up.

Aren't you pushing it too far?

- Alcohol is poison.
- But, that's for the director...


The jury's ready,
Iet's get started.

Thank you...

Ladies and gentlemen, dear guests,

I have the pleasure to announce the winners
of Intergastro '84 international competition.

The third place goes to

Imre Hydekkuty of the Hotel
Intercontinental in Budapest, Hungary.

- What's up?
- Sindelka, come on!

It's your turn.

I've Iost a button.

- Get moving, maestro...
- How many people are in there?

- Athousand...
- Athousand? You... Come on!

I'll fix it.

Now, Iet me see.

There's a hole there.

And the main prize goes to
Simon Sindelka! Fanfares please!

Be careful.

Here are the results.

His exhibits scored 420 points reaching
a total of 1,200 points.

We're happy it's the winner
is a Iocal competitor...

But where is he?

Sindelka... They are calling you!

- Is it you, Frank?
- What's up?

- The door knob...
- Damn!

The right time for cracking jokes, really.

Tell me, what's happened?

Comrade, do something!

Ah, here comes our winner,
Simon Shindelka.

I apologize, the door knob is broken,
and my finger got stuck.

Such a funny thing,
but one's Ieft helpless.

- Thanks so much for
winning the competition.

- My apologies, really...

And now some music,
here comes our guest singer...

Watch that! Our man in action...

- What are you still doing here?
- I want my medal...

Well, take it, and quit messing around.

What is it this time?
Something's got to be done.

Just a moment...

Fix it right now!


Look here...

Watch my hand...

Hold it...

Give it a llttle smile...

- What about a small trip?
- You can go, feel free...

You can go, feel free...
Don't tell me you wouldn't llke it.

- Try someone else.
- Try someone else.

- Madam's went to the spa again?
- We'll Iock her up in the bathroom.

You're all talk.

I'm standing here, so alone...

I wish I weren't alone. Come here, you...

The boy did the mechanics...

- Not him, though...
- Go then...

Excuse me...

Me? Want to take a picture of me?

What issue will it be in?

Wait, she's got nothing to do with it.

O.K..., you come to the front,
she will stay in the background.

As if you were congratulating to him.

- I'm congratulating you...
- That's great...

- Well, I don't know...
- And now give him something!

I can give him a kiss.

- That'll be wonderful...
- Have you gone crazy?

- She won't bite you, don't worry.
- We're not going to...

- Don't be so fussy!
- It's inappropriate...

- Close your eyes...
- That's it!

Once again... and hold it...

I've fixed it. The breaks work perfect.

- Great.
- We'll test it on Saturday.

I'm not sure.

What's wrong? Your mom's ill?

There are more important things
in llfe than fish.

Is there something wrong with your head?

Might be... Arrivederci!


If he were of wood, maybe l'd mount him...
But not this beast...

Don't be silly...
I rode horses before I could walk.

- But what about the horse?
- Come on...

Sindelka! Make a cock-a-doodle-doo.

The what?

- I got him all under control, llke my body...
- The horse.

Is it you again, Mr. Sindelka?

That's marvelous.
Your friend knows what he's doing.


It's been published...

An artist, llkes sports, etc.

They did not llke the ''sweet llfe'' part,
so we added the address instead.

Let me see.

Women will start flooding in, believe me.

You're a sweetheart.

Who's that?

Is she real or you just imagined her?

Just my imagination.

Your school-mates are all married with kids
and you're daydreaming...

- Eat...
- It's burnt...

Don't switch subjects.
You're not good at girls.

Why are your cakes always burnt?
They're solid rock.

Eat, it will help you.

Please, tell that judy something!

I'm on the wing, I'm flyin'...

Do you think that if your photo is
in the magazine I will do your job?

Žela, stop it.

You stupid faced-up shell!

Welcome on board TU-104.

Fasten your safety belts, we're
flying to Canary Islands!

What about English?

It's no science,
take her to the cinema.

But no comedy.

If you let her laugh
than she'll be frigid.

Horor is the best.

The creepy music begins, you take
her hands and she's yours!

And then?

You know what then.

But sometimes I jump directly
to the final phase.

Don't care about slaps.

- What about the blancmange?
- You're only about working.

I want to help you!

You made the star of one girl
now you have to take advantage!

If I were you she's
already mine!

Are you listening?

A surprise for the king invented
by a man called Perignon

And Louis XIV. promoted
him to a nobleman.

Yes, but in different
time period!

But during the revolution he was
executed - he was a nobleman.

But he gave us this. In every
piece something different.

The surprise for Zela.

You are ridiculous. You walk like a
monkey and squint. Model!

And your photo will be on the
pork cans!

She's facing like handicapped
but thinks that she's sexi.

You walking obesity.

You nichts Fisch,
that fatty has Fisch.

Get the plastic for your brain.

Miss Samorin!

Shut up you vained dumpling.

Get away, pressburst

Is this the trip from Dresden?

Yes. Twenty meals.

What's this supposed to mean?

I'm sorry...

What's happened?

What are you up to, for God's sake?
Fetch the dishes real quick.

You'll pay fot this! And now get Iost!

If she didn't squint,
she'd see that she squints.

What's wrong?

They're all jealous.

They'd rather see us dead,

You're the only one I trust.
But don't tell anyone...

I'll work for an
airline, as a stewardess.

You fly round the world, attend to nice
people, and save my wages in the bank.

But airplanes crash sometimes.

I don't care. I can't stand it here any
more, everyone's against me. Do I squint?

Let me see.

You've got big eyes.

Don't I?

- They almost scare me.
- Really?

- You're beautiful.
- No kidding?

What's your sign in the zodiac?

Why? I'm a Leo...

A Leo?

Those are usually artists.

I paint in the afternoons
and do the accounts in the mornings.

Do you llke going to the movies?

I do...

Part two.

You're a magician.

What about the surprise for Zela?

Have you eaten the chilly pepper?

The chilly pepper?

My goodness...

Where is the dessert?

The boss wanted to serve it himself.
He sent me away.

- That one... at the far end...
- Go then, quick!

- Me?
- Who else?

The Iast one's been waiting for you.

It's not the one.

What's that suppose to mean?

I don't understand...

Follow me.

That was perfect!

My brother-in-Iaw was in the newspapers

and it made him so proud
that he found himself a Iover.

The whole family was after him
to settle the scandal.

Did you fly over on a broom?

Witches get modernized, don't they?

What's on T.V.?

The old witch...

Always messing with the water
when I'm all soapy.

- Who has my apple scented soap?
- I've seen it in the corner.

- Will you switch with me tomorrovw?
- I can't, I got a date.

For adults only!

What is it?

- Shove off.
- Come on, maestro...

What are you doing with my ring?
Give it to me.

I only wanted to try it on...

One can't Ieave a thing here.

It went so easily...

Now Iook, it's 24-carat gold.

Nobody's stealing it from you...

Take it off before your finger swells.

It has already...

The blood stopped circulating.

It has to be cut.

You'll Iose your finger!

Keep your arm llfted.

Give me the ring straightaway.
I need it.

I can imagine the yelling back home.

I could come along, if your wife...

Let my old Iady be...

I'd explain it to your wife, really.

The ring, come on, give it back!

I give you 24 hours, that's the deadline.

That is... tomorrow this time.

Quit yapping.

Who's opened the tap?

I did.

Your teacher will get mad.

What's wrong with the water this time?

Who's been fiddling with the tap?

- Mr. Sindelka.
- Sorry, I didn't know.

Mr. Sindelka.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

My name is Milka Hargasova.

I've read your ad, so here I am.

The ad?


My husband Ieft me two years ago.

Aren't you Mr. Sindelka?


I'm... Balucha.

The waiter... with the moustache...
from the hotel.

Goodbye, then...

Is it about the advertisement?

This one he won in Osaka...
and this is the Grand Prix from Chicago.

Mr. Sindelka is not in, is he?

Well, never mind.
I'll come Iater, thanks.

Wait, Simon.

Don't be silly, one of them
works in the State Department.

A woman's brain is llghter than a man's.

But they're cunning.

I used to be head over heels in Iove
and all I got were splitting headaches.

It starts so innocently,
and then you're ready to hang yourself.

How come you talk so much today?

If the fingertips turn blue,
remove the bandage immediately...

But how? It'll be dead by tomorrow.

Let me explain! I had to act mad,
the boss was there.

Get Iost, Balucha!

Get in, sweetheart,
I can't park here.

This man is harassing me. You're a witness.

I didn't see anything.
I'm just waiting for the bus.

Calm down, Iove...
Yot know you're the only one I've Ioved.

Leave her alone!

- Is this your car, sir?
- Yes, it is.

You must have missed the no entry sign

and that means a 100 crown ticket.

But I go to my town.

A stewardess has a great llfe...
New York, London, Calcutta...

and her pay-check is saved in the bank.

There are stewardesses much uglier than I.

A friend of mine has been working as a
steward, he knows people, I'll call him.

- No kidding?
- Don't you believe me?

He's name is... Mruskovic.

- But I don't speak any foreign Ianguage.
- Don't be silly.

One, two, three, four, everybody,
je t'aime. Piece of cake!

Shall we go to the river?

Let me be...

Don't be so cruel, sweetie.

Hand me a rock.

Damn this seat...

Could you get a bigger one?

When was the Iast time
you met this Mruskovic?

- Who?
- The pilot...

To hell with it... And I paid a fortune
for this piece of junk!

You can't go home llke this,
she'd kill you.

Be quiet, you're driving me crazy.

Dad's trying to start the engine...

Does it run on saw dust or charcoal?

We didn't know, really...

Dad, meet my boss.

He's much interested in the car.

Really? I've just chnaged the fuses.

But... I didn't want...

Want a copy for free?

That's her! That's Jolana!

Cars are his weakness.
He even sleeps in his car.

Show him everything, dad.

It's an oldie, but top quality.
A genuine Mercedes. Fifty-five horses.

Germans Ieft it behind...

I don't need...

Fetch the gentleman a pillow...

Will you take me to the city?

- Where?
- To Bratislava.

- No... not now...
- You just keep promising!

- Start the engine...
- Mr. Miklos...

We'll take it for a test drive.

I'll hit the gas pedal.
Go ahead, it'll start on the spot.

Selling it doesn't make any sense,
the engine's llke new.

Remember the Iaw of physics.

A heated metal band shall increase
in diameter considerably.

You've burned them real bad.

I did my best.

Simon is always in such a good mood.

Remember, another girl's coming today,
so you behave yourself

Get married to be the man's servant?

I don't want such a good-for-nothing.

I don't want such a good-for-nothing.

I don't understand what you are doing
with such a maniac.

You don't know him.

He knows what to say
and I always give in...

If I were you, I'd go see his wife and say:

''Look, madam, your husband's using me
under the pretext of divorce...''

Or, present the case to the trade unions,
they'd have to settle the matter.

You think so?

If you're afraid, I'll raise the issue.

He'Il be begging you, you'll see.

It's going to be the end of him.

Hi, Simon...

I'm not here!

I was just passing by... may I?

Sure, come in.
I'm trying to get some tan...


By the window...

What perfume are you wearing?

- It's the vanilla, I guess.
- Vanilla?

I brought you something.

Is that for me?

I've been playing a llttle...

You're a real artist.

Ain't I good? Have a bite...

How do I taste?

Sweet... smelling wonderful. And I?

Want my llttle hand?

I'd fancy your beautiful Iegs.

That's amazing.

Are these almonds?


Open your mouth, here comes a...

- A strawberry.
- Wait, Simon...

We'll eat the strawberry.

Why are you so quiet?

The clock has stopped.

Give me a hand, will you?

We'll go to the Danube...
Zela might be back any time.

- Sure...
- Take the blanket...

- The blanket?
- The blanket.

O.K., the blanket.

They did not Ieave a morsel...

The Scorpio rises after the Orion sets.
They don't llke each other.

And over there, by the chimney,
the zig-zag, that's the Sagittarius.

The Sagittarius? That's me. November 26.


Hercules is to the Ieft.
We'll crash into him some day.

Wait a minute. What Hercules?

- What?
- What Hercules are you talking about?

The Hercules constellation...

We're approaching it and the earth
will be destroyed in the collision.

- No kidding?
- The Sun, the Earth, everything.

Have you read about this?

But it won't happen for another
half a trillion years.

That's terrible...

That is terrible...

If you realize there'd be nothing left.

Nothing at all...

Why don't they do something?

Don't take it so seriously.
It's only a theory.

What are you scaring me for, then?

You... Vanilla!

The blanket...

Get up.

Are you here about the ad?

Does Mr. Sindelka llve here?

He does. But we don't Iook
for Iadies anymore...

There you go!

I've really burned them a bit today.

They're all right.

When will you bring her over?


You got married.

I did?

Or got engaged?

Well, you could say that...

Shame on you.

I've been pampering you all my llfe,
writing ads, and you don't say a word.

Here you are!

Where's the ring?

I've hidden it.

It's pure gold.
It needs to be handled with care.

You should wear it on the right hand
until you get married.

- Wait, mom...
- Don't!

It's a llttle tight, but it fits.

- Fits... It sure does...
- It's for the rest of your llfe.

Yes... fine...

What month is she in?

November, I think.

She's in her sixth month, then.

It will hit us with a big bang,
and that'll be it. Some Hergules...

We'll be beaten to pulp.

Everything will be destroyed.

It's true. It'll be in '85. But no
one is allowed to talk about it.

That's terrible. Maybe
I should go back home.

Not that thick.
You got to make twice as many.

And the regulations?

They'll be thinner, but more elegant.

See? I owe you ten crowns.

You're slicing it llke ham.

Don't they Iook more elegant?

You stick to what I say,
and make decent desserts.

Now llsten, Saint Theresa.

You'd better return the ring
you've stolen from me.

Well, where is it?

You had it on your Ieft hand before.

- It is a misunderstanding.
- What misunderstanding?

It won't come off... My finger is swollen.

This is unbelievable...
You know what? I'll sue you.

It's a criminal offence.
I've got evidence and witnesses.

Come on... Please...

He'll have you executed.

- I bathed Iast night...
- In the Danube?

No... in the bathtub.
You know what I realized?

A body immersed in juice
is buoyed up by the money

equal to the weight of the juice
displaced by the body.

The so-called Balucha principle.
Remember that.

You'll go down in history some day.

Or in jail.

No worries! And the money's home.

I had a piece of cake there...

Get out!

As you wish.

Hi, vanilla!

Are the cakes ready?

What's wrong with you?

Don't you Iove me anymore?

That's all?

What are you doing after work?

I know a place where they make
fantastic fish soup.

Will you pick me up after work?

Can you spare us a minute?

I can't.

This is Mr. Baranek.

My son's graduating.

Excuse me...

Yes, you see...

No, there's no need for that.

I want a first-class job.

Don't worry.

If you don't want it...

My son's got a horse, you see.

People have other hobbies,
he's got a horse.

Elevator is his name.
A beautiful animal...

First I wanted a cake
with a section mark,

but his Elevator made of sugar...
what do you think?

A great idea. You will not be disappointed!

He's an expert in animals.

We won't take more of your time...

To hell with everything.

The end of the world is close!

Do the dishes before doom comes.

No kidding! A comet is approaching us.

Apropos. Our confectioner...

is an artist. He would not take
a bribe... I keep the money for him.

I see, l found it strange.

Thank you.

L'll remember you Iater...

This present worries me.

My son knows the world,
I want something special.

I'm a simple person,
I only know what llfe taught me.

Say garlic: I see the Ieaves,
and I know what's at the root.

What about a weekend-house?

Or, even better...

Here's a thought!

Or an oldtimer, they're
very fashionable now.

Where do I get one now?

Where to get it?

What are you doing here?

What was that?

You got to be strict with women,
or they'd slip out of your control.

- Your vehicle, boss!
- Thanks.

The man wants to buy it for spare parts.
For five, six thousand.

Wrecks are no good business now.
All the technical inspections...

I was such a fool to come with you.

Your dad will be pleased,
don't worry sweetie.

Did you know that the Earth will collide
with the Hercules constellation?

I wish I had your problems.

An unexpected inspection -
that would be a catastrophe.

It was there Iast night,
who the hell...

A steering wheel isn't a needle.
You'll find it.

Nobody wants it without the steering wheel.

Help yourself to a sausage.

If there's no car...

Will you take me to the city now?

- Some other time.
- But you've promised...

Drop the subject,
and get down from there.

Too bad. I wanted to help you out...

I'll find it I'm sure.

Unscrew that... it might get Iost too.

Keep it, that's in advance.

Are we there yet?

How could you do this? Tell me...

Is that your boyfriend?

You're llke a child,
just playing llke that.

You shouldn't promise
if you can't keep your word.

I relied on you.

But we're talking about a 1956 Mercedes.
He won't give it up that easily.

How much did he want?

I kept it below forty
thousand as we agreed.

You should have, you got to be flexible.

You do what needs to be done;
sixty thousand is the llmit.

What's wrong?

I need to cover my own expenses too...

Excuse me, sorry...

This here, I had it delivered from Vienna.

Let me see.

It cost 260 shillings...

We'll settle it all Iater, don't worry.

Fine, then.

That stuff is strong!

It's no sliwowitz.

It's cognac, that's delicacy, aroma...

Cognac, that's art.
Bisquit Debouché, for instance...

It's not a drink, it's a dream.

I had some in Münich Iast time.

- Waiter...
- I'll be right with you.


Do you know Bisquit Debouché?

Excuse me?

Bisquit De-bou-ché.

Debouché, sure...

Watch this...

We got experts for guests tonight.

Are you nuts?

Sorry, it spilled...

So you are buying the wreck
for spare parts, right?

Stop poking around, old gal!

Not your ''sweetie'' anymore?
Kiss the Mercedes goodbye.

Let me explain, you're so unfair!

I'd llke to see the cake now...

I'll have a Iook in the kitchen...

Elevator has been a nuisance,
I had to teach him a Iesson.

Here you are, sir.

What's this?

You should be familiar with it...

Well, then?

Don't tell me... Debouché...

You have never tasted anything
llke this before.


Have a sip.

Tastes llke soap.

That's exactly it!

You've really impressed me.

You're a connaiseur.

Bring two bottles,

Let all taste the good stuff.

We got to be careful.
I smuggle it in from abroad.

Pour it in glasses then...

That's an excellent idea.

He needed a piece of advice...

What was l thinking?

I believed he would
get a divorce... Right...

He's ruined the best years of my llfe.

Why do I always have such bad Iuck?

You're to blame a bit as well...

He wouldn't Iet me be.

I can't stand it any Ionger.

Should I kill myself or what?

The cake, Simon.
Where is it?

And where's that Alligator?

We got a new invention...

That's excellent. Let's go.

Take off the apron.

Hold on for a sec.


Go fetch the vanilla.

Now, listen.
You know I'm not a violent person,

but don't think that I couldn't...

Leave the girl alone!

Look, we won't fight over a skirt.

I'll arrange everything, and she's all
yours. And now Iet's go, they're waiting.

Just a second!

You, you bastard, you...

No, not the cake...

Watch it, Elevator!

Not the cake!

The horse is O.K.

We're waiting, where's the cake?

It's ready, only a finishing touch.

Here you are, six times Debouché.

Cheers, experts...

What did she mean by that?

Just a crazy woman...

Get the champagne from
the storage, right now!

What a day...

I'll go get the cake.

It's too soon, isn't it?

Mr Beranek, hold on.

You should save the best for Iast.

May I?

We're in trouble.

Let me see...

We've come to Iook. Now please...

Where's the horse?

An ingenious refinement.

But where's Elevator? I told you...

The one in the center,

I put a whole bunch in,
so he wouldn't get Ionely.

It's the maestro's fantasy, see.

Cute llttle beasts. Are these deer?

Are you trying to make
me Iook llke an idiot?!

Has this gentleman got
his health certificate?

Let me explain. These horses
symbolize human virtues...

Generosity... benevolence...

What modesty? I've ordered Elevator.

You're right. But, this way
you got six horses for the same price...

I knew it... He wouldn't take the tip...
And this is the result...

Mr. Baránek, calm down...

One point for you, Simon.

What are you staring at, check the oven!

May I?

What's up?

I'll be right back.

I haven't oiled it...

lf the Mercedes turns out the same,
then you must have misunderstood me.

The car is my private business...

But if you're not interested...

Everything is all right, we got a deal.

How about some Debouché?

I'd rather have some
good old Slovak brandy.

Frankly, I don't fancy foreign delicacies.

What do you want?

You're hurting me so much, sweetie.

The whole world is against me,
and you don't understand.

Money's the only thing you've ever Ioved...
and the Mercedes was the Iast drop...

You're being unfair.

I've had it all planned so well.

You - a beautiful, intelligent woman,
I - an experienced man enjoying llfe...

I need money to arrange everything...
The divorce, alimonies, a new flat...

It was meant to be a surprise...

That's why I needed the car.

You keep Iying to me...
Like the thing with the pilot...

You're right,

I'm a crook, a gambler, a fraud...

But you're wrong about one thing.

If I ever Ioved anybody, it was you.

Why would take all the risks?

For that shrew of mine? I can't stand her.

See? I don't even wear the ring anymore...
I threw it at her.

We can have such a beautiful llfe together!

We're still young...

Where's my husband?

Open. l know you're both in there.

I only need a phone number.

Leave it... I'll do it.


You've scared off your Iuck.

Ladies and gentlemen, dear son!

Here is a llttle surprise for you -
Symbolic horses...

That's my Elevator.

But that's my Elevator.

Mr. Sindelka, meet my son.

Haven't we met somewhere before?

Have you ever had Bisquit Debouché?

- Unfortunately...
- You haven't tried Debouchč?

- No.
- Two times Debouché, then.

Where's the ring?

Calm down, l told you
the confectioner has it.

Excuse me...

You think I'm an idiot?
I'll find the bitch.

Where's the Debouché?

It's coming.

It's spelled D-e-b-o-u-c-h-é.

You damn bastard...

You'Il pay for this...

What's the matter?
This is authorized personnel only.

This is your end,
I'll ruin you, you bastard!

Did you hear me? Leave.

You've sworn upon your children
not to do it again

Don't be a disgrace.

There's more to this...

I'll get a divorce.
And you'll be paying...

Waiter, the bill...

You're drunk. Calm down,
or I 'll call the police.

What do you think you're doing?

Sixty thousand down the drain...

It must be here somewhere.

I wanted the best for everybody.

L've put myself in jeopardy,
And she's got my involved in dirty deals.

You bastard...

Watch it, miss! He's my husband.
I am the one to beat him up!

And remember,
you're going to remember this!

Tell the truth,
I've seen you with her in the storeroom.

I have never been with anybody anywhere...

It was me in the storeroom.
Here's the ring... I apologize.

Hello, Mr Balucha. The Mercedes is here...

- Are you going home?
- Yes. He's mean to women.

And you?

Who's the bride?

God knows.

The cakes were too much.

You kept saying
burnt food brings good Iuck.

What time is the ceremony?

At 10:00 a.m. on Saturday
at the Mirror Hall.

I hope I won't sleep in,
once I'm the witness.

And who's the bride then?

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