Svampe (1990) - full transcript


I order you deep into the Valley of Mist.


Did you know that a... a 5 meter tall
bird lives in the woods?

Five meters?

Is that so?

Five meters?

Where I'm going now...

...are no birds at all...

...just numbers, small numbers.

Teensy-weensy numbers.


Hi there.

Now we'll see what you really are.


I'll give you three seconds.

One thousand and one... thousand and two... thousand and three.

No, no?


Not bad... fact the very best so far.

Don't eat the art objects.


Did you take my cloth?

Well now. Well now!

You serpent's spawn, you little imp!

There's only one
punishment good enough.

Green toads and no breakfast for 21 days!

Summer vacation...

...yes, thanks!

Come here, froggy.


Hello, Svampe?
My name's Laura. This is Beine.

- This makes us happy.
- Yes, we're glad to see you.

Did you want to meet
my mother, maybe?

He asks if we want
to meet his mother.

Is it him?

Of course it's him!

In such matters, one must be very sure.
He could have a double.

But dear Laura, it is him,
for sure.

Who, what?

For sure.

- You're Svampe, right? Svampe Nielsen.
- Yes.

Hear that?

You don't have a twin brother
with the same name, do you?

It's him!

It's true.

We searched a long time.

Edna doesn't get better,
and that makes Laura worried, you see.

And I must polish and polish.

Who's Edna?

Go on and tell him!

Well...'s not easy to say.

She belongs to the family, in a way...

...just like you.

Am I in your family?

No, no, not literally, but... a way we are, from now on.

Breakfast, after all!

- Cripes! Let's sneak away.
- Yes, let's do.

Come on, Svampe.


What's that?

This is the world's best handcar.

I polished it myself.

Laura likes it shiny, you know.

Won't you have a seat?


Will I be home for dinner?

He asks if he'll be home for dinner.

Of course, you'll be home for dinner.

Laura's cooking isn't that
good anyway.


It's boiled potatoes and roasted potatoes
and raw potatoes and...

... and stretched potatoes and boiled
potatoes and raw potatoes and...

Enough of that, Beine!

I get your point now!.

But it was just a joke, Laura.

But you don't joke, you.

You know that I love your potatoes, Laura.

I love everything that comes
from your hands.

Cripes! I'll take care of this
here and now.

Everything in order, Laura.

All nice again.

All will be nice again.

Look now.

What task did you mean?

It's a very important task.

You said that, but what shall I do?

Several things, I think.

First of all...

Gosh, Beine. Look there!

Good heavens!

Oh no!
Laura, are you dead?



There, Laura, everything's ready.
Let's go.

Oh no!

The spare canister, quickly!
Over there, in the holder.


Which one?

The round one.

It's only a bit of rust.

Never say that word.
That word's forbidden!

Svampe, come here and sit down.
It'll be fine, you'll see.

There, there!

So! Back to normal again.


Let's forget all about it.

I must go home.

But dear Laura, we must go and see Edna.

I must go home to Titus and Totus.


Of course we'll go home first, Laura...
to Titus and Totus.

At once!

Titus and Totus?

Svampe, come and lend a hand.

He's stark mad, isn't he?


Him on the motorcycle.

- So, you mean Trym.
- Trym...?

- Do you know him?
- Know or know...

...nobody knows Trym, really,
but Laura once knew him.

There it is!

Titus and Totus!

Well Svampe, this is Ibur.

- Ibur?
- Yes, this is our home.


Hello, Titus!

Look at him!

Is it...?

Is it Jesus?

I...don't think so.

But he's a smart guy.
We call him Shadow.



Shadow is a bit shy.
It takes a little while to get to know him.

Oh, my little silver hen.

Come to Mama!

Go away!

Shame on your bad manners!
Talking like that to Svampe!


My name is Svampe Nielsen.


Do you like birds?

Not all of them.

Oh, you simply must like Titus and Totus.
There are no others like them. Titus; the other one's Totus.
He's so jealous of Titus.


Yes, in a way it's worse than envy.

Kids can be jealous of their siblings...

...and a woman can be jealous of another
woman because of a man.

- Really?
- Yes, and the other way round too.

Shame! What kind of behaviour is this?

Svampe is the chosen one!

Off you go now and fly.

Get some exercise.

You understand, Svampe...

...I can't be angry with them...

...because we're family in a way,
Titus and Totus and I.

Maybe the young man's thirsty?






So... and so.

This is for you, Svampe.

Thanks a lot!

- Here you are.
- Thanks.

Yeah... we've been engaged
almost sixteen years now, Laura and me.

Yes, time passes.

Don't you think it's about time
we get married, Svampe?


We discussed this before, Beine.

Oh no!

More sugar?

Everything's just fine, Laura, just fine.

I'll fix it in no time.

Keep still, Laura.

What's that special word of yours,
Svampe Nielsen?


- Pardon?
- Kuribush.


Oh, Beine. The motorcycle man...

...Trym... you think he's jealous?

I can't imagine that!

Oh no! Not again!

- Totus is coming. Totus is coming.
- Titus is coming.

Totus is bringing a gift to Madam Laura.

Oh, my sweet little Totus bird!

Did you bring a gift for Laura?

Of course you'll get food,
my little silver hen.

Thank you so much.

As soon as the birds are fed
we must leave.

Oh yes, we're forgetting Edna.

Her husband died, you see.

Whose husband died?

Edna's husband, Edvin, died
a half year ago.

Since then, Edna hasn't been quite herself.

The train just stands there.

Edna lies on her bed, sulking.

I think she's simply locked herself in.


It's romance.

We thought that we...
that you could cheer her up a bit.


Titus, come, come!



Come on!

Come on!

Locked, as I thought.
Do you have what you need?

We thought to play a
little trick on Edna.

If you could pretend
you're a locomotive inspector... might give life to
her and the train again.

What do you think, Svampe?

I don't think I look
like a locomotive inspector.

Have you seen a locomotive inspector?


Well then, you see?

Nobody's at home.

Too bad. Let's go again.

No, no. She's at home.
She just doesn't want visitors.

Come in, everyone.

Is that you, Laura?

Yes. In person!

Hello, Laura, hello.
Younger and prettier than ever.

Oh, I don't want that, not that.

That you could think to decorate
yourself with a woolen cloth!

No, no.

Don't take my cloth away.
It's good against illness.

We have a visitor for you, Edna.


Come here.

The locomotive inspector is here.

What? Who? Where?

Svampe Nielsen...

...locomotive inspector.

Edna... train owner.

I thought we could do an
inspection tour of your train.

That is, if you've stoked the engine.

You could hardly have done that
if you're sick?

But I have.

I've preheated it...

...just to be sure.

Laura, he's very young, your
locomotive inspector.

But Edna, it's improper
for polite people... talk about the age of others.

No, no, Laura, I didn't mean to be rude...

...I just thought that
he's not especially old.

There's nothing wrong with...
I didn't mean it that way.

Come on, Beine!

Svampe... don't forget who you are.

It's you who drives the train!

When everyone's seated,
you push the brake forward like this.

After that you control the
steam with that there.

I found two passengers waiting!

In the rear carriage.

Two foreigners.

Laura said she'll entertain them.

Well then, we're ready for departure?




The driver is new on the job, you see.

He's never driven a train before,
to tell the truth.

I see you like speed.

I've always thought it risky
to go this fast, but... ought to know
better than me.

It might be smart to check the oil.

Oh dear, don't pour oil in the ashtray!

I wouldn't say that!

This train gets too little oil!

Remember to pour some drops of oil
in the ashtray every morning...

...and you'll notice the difference.

Well then, if you say so.

Stop! The tracks end here!

Lend me a hand!

Two more millimetres,
and we had all been angels!


Adieu Mr. Locomotive Inspector.

I think I'll take another trip.

I forgot how much
fun it is to drive a train.

It was a pleasure.

But remember...

...a train must be exercised
in fresh air every day...

...absolutely every day!

That went really well.

Help, I must get home
for dinner!

We'll take you home at once, Svampe...

...but Laura wants to give you
something first.

I didn't mean to nick it, Svampe...

...just to borrow it.

It was so beautiful and shiny.

There you are! Now we'll eat.

I drove a train today,
all by myself!

A train? I say!

I also played with trains at your age.

Who was that?

Svampe Nielsen, locomotive inspector.

Beine? Why are you here?
It's almost night!

- Are you okay?
- You must come at once!

What's up?

Be quick. I'll explain later.

- Is something the matter?
- Titus and Totus are gone.

Not worse? I thought at least
someone must have died.

You cannot imagine how bad this is!

Last evening they were suddenly gone.

Poor Laura is beside herself!

And imagine all the polishing!


Yes, goodness gracious!

When not even Shadow
knows where they are...

...then it beggars belief.

Is Shadow a beggar?

No, no...

...he talks with birds and...

...and a wizard, you know.

He... he'll explain everything.

Well Svampe, you see, every time...

...Laura, she...

...well, you see that every time
Laura gets really sad... can one...

...I can't find the word... this...


The sadder she is,
or the angrier...

...the more there is of it.


It simply won't get shiny.

Nothing is shiny any longer!

And Laura went off, completely
beside herself.

You see, Svampe...

...without these two birds...

...without Titus and Totus, Laura is...


She is... shall I put it... she is...


Yes, precisely. Nil.

And without Laura,
Titus and Totus are also nil.

They need each other!

Then they're happy.

Then they're happy.
Do you understand?

Cripes! It's no use!

I must go to Laura.
Poor thing, so upset!

Another dreadful thing,
the most serious of all...

Laura is rusting!

Without joy and love,
Laura rusts.

No Titus and Totus... no Laura.

Do you mean she'll die?


...turn into rust...

...become nil.

Isn't there something you can do?

My powers are extremely limited.

Well, one thing, perhaps...

...but I don't know if I dare.

What do you mean?

Be careful, Laura.

This is a day of sorrow, Svampe...

...a day of sorrow.

We must go and search again.

I don't know what else to do.

Miss Laura...

...I will summon an extraordinary meeting
of the Bird Wizard's Society.

Good luck! I must stay with Laura.
She can't be left alone.

Come, come, quick!

My cloak. Help me put it on.

What you'll see today is...
what's the word...secret.

Strictly secret.

And you must sit still on the...

...must sit still and don't say a word.
You understand?

You must promise
not to tell a single person...

...what you see today. Understand?
Come on.





Sit on the step.

We, Kowinckel, will hear
your entreaty, Brother Shadow.

Honourable Kowinckel.

Honourable council.

Honourable, winged spirits.

I beg of you to listen...

...and to listen attentively.

My dear friends, the winged spirits
Titus and Totus, have...

...vanished, and we have reason to believe
that they are in...

...great danger.

There is also reason to believe that...

...they did not vanish by their own will.

Should they come to harm or be...


...I know what consequences it may lead to.

Honourable council,
the situation is very grave.

I plead for your assistance.

We, Kowinckel, and the...

...honourable council, have decided... send out five hundred scouts
when the sun sets this evening...

...and again when the sun rises tomorrow.

I thank you, Sir Kowinckel.

I thank the honourable council, but... be honest and... act in accordance
with my conscience...

...I cannot accept your offer!

The situation is too grave!

We're confronted with a question
of life and death.

What then is it you want of me,
Brother Shadow?

I'm asking you to make use of
your inner eye, Sir Kowinckel...

...and find Titus and Totus!

The royal clan Jardesia
was gradually exterminated... bird-eating Mangans, and nobody
dared to ask Kowinckel for help.

And now will Brother Shadow
expect that we...

...Kowinckel make contact
with the higher powers... find two pet birds!

The answer is no!

Most honourable Kowinckel!

I feel obliged to remind you of an
event that you may have forgotten.

It was noted in the records of
our society that it took place in 1918...

...when my uncle, the honourable Mr Palme,
was president of our honourable society...

...and when your grandfather,
Sir Kowinckel...

...was, like I am for the moment,
a member of the high council.

One dark winter night... uncle was contacted
by a bird from the Kasaba clan.

This bird whispered in
the ear of my uncle...

...that your grandfather, Sir Kowinckel...

...had been taken prisoner
by the Kasaba clan...

...and was to be executed
that very same night!

What action did he take,
my honourable uncle Palme?

He left his seat of honour,
at this council...

...and he saved the life
of your grandfather, Sir Kowinckel,... the risk of his own!

Thank you!

Yes, I have the damned birds..., in my factory!

And Laura will not get them back...

...until she comes back to me!

Because Laura is mine!

She has always been.

If Laura is not here before tomorrow... can say goodbye
to these stupid birds of yours!

That was Trym, wasn't it?
He said that Laura must come back to him.

Did they live together?

Many years ago,
Laura kept house for him...

...Mr. Trum... no, Mr. Trym.

She was his,
what is the word...housekeeper..., his spouse, his wife.


Have Trym and Laura been married?

Well, married or married...
how shall I put it...

Do you know where Trym lives?

Very far away,
and very sort of dangerous.

What you have in mind,
Svampe Nielsen... very, oh dear,
what is the word...


I'm just a wizard, who... who can...

...can blow life into little birds,
and do petty tricks, but...

...when dangerous things
are about to happen, I'm nil.

I am timid by nature.

Timid? You weren't timid
when talking to Kowinckel.

What about Beine?
He doesn't want Laura to move to Trym?

Beine's... Beine's heart
would explode of grief.

He's proposed to Miss Laura
nine thousand times.

How did it go?

Mr. Trym has the birds in his...his

- Custody.
- Right.

Oh Cripes!

I can't keep up with the polishing,
poor Laura is so clinging.

- What do we do now?
- I don't know.

I... I think I have an idea,
a rather good idea.

Yeah, we'll do it, tonight!

Oh really?

Let's see now.

Some sliced sausage...

...liver p?t?...


Stop there!

Isn't this a little herring,
swimming in its mustard sauce?

It's urgent!

I don't have time for this.


One thousand and one, one thousand and two,
one thousand and three.

Off you go!

If all goes well, Laura...

...then we'll marry the very next day.
- Yes.

-Tomorrow, right?
- Yeah.

This is not safe.

So who are you today,
Mr Locomotive Inspector?

Today, or better said, tonight, I'm...


Svampe, you must be careful.

Clothes can be ghost-like,
and quite nasty when they're angry.

Nobody can be angry with Laura, surely.

Can they, Shadow?

No no, one shouldn't joke...

... what is that word...

...jest at such a serious time.

Just see now.

Full House!

Are we there now?

Something's standing on the tracks.

I don't know what it is.

Come and see!


Couldn't you conjure him away?

Oh no, not when I am anxious.

When I'm scared, I'm completely...

- ...what's the word?
- Nil?

Yes, nil, nothing, useless.

Stop the nonsense, Mr. Wizard.
Take him!



Don't leave me, Beine.

I don't dare let you go and
leave me here alone.


Cheer up, Laura!

In a little while
we'll be back with Titus and Totus.

Tomorrow we'll marry.

Don't go!

You must help me. You must polish!

Be brave, my sweetheart.

Do some polishing yourself now.

I don't know how!

Polish, Laura. Polish!


Cripes! What do we do now?

It's possible that my magic powers...

...could help in a situation like this.

I've never made use of these before... I'm not sure if they will...

...oh, what is the proper word...
if they will function.

You'll wake up the whole town!

I did...didn't expect it to powerful!

Going in then?

We're going in!

Shadow, stay there
and keep watch.'s not dangerous.

It''s stuffed, not dangerous at all.

Trym does some animal stuffing,
and that... that one is stuffed.

Come on.

Edna, Edna, I've polished all by myself.

It's about time!

Who is it?


Shut up, you feathered creatures!

Tomorrow, you might be stuffed and mounted.



What? Laura?

Oh Laura! Is that really you?

To think that you've come.

Where did you go, my dear?

Here I am, Trym.

So, you're playing
hide-and-seek with old Trym?

But, where did you go now?

My own little rose, my dove.

Trym dear.

Stand still!

Stand still, so I can
take hold of you a bit.

Trym, sweetie.


Catch you and feel you...

...old Trym will find you.



Here I am, Trym.

- Laura! Just imagine, she's here.
- Trym.

Little Laura.

Mum told me to take this...

...but I was a naughty brat...

...and put it in my hat.

It's no fun any more!

Come now, Laura.

Please... we'll see.


- Now I got you, my little bird.
- Let go!

- Let go, I said!
- Now you're in a cage!

You look so small.
Have you shrunk?

Who the hell are you?

Run, Svampe!



You lousy impostors!

I... Stop!
I'll catch you!

I'll catch you!


Just you wait! Just you wait!

I'll make mince-meat out of you!

You wicked boy!

I'll get you! I'll get you!

Bye, Trymse-mymse. Bye!

You little imp!

Wretched crow-thieves!

Hurry, Svampe!

He's angry!

Hurry up, Shadow!

Come on, Shadow!

Stop, thieves!


I'll come and get you!

Nobody cheats Trym...

...without regretting forever!

Just you wait!


Full speed, Edna! Full speed!

My children! Come to Mama.

Too much oil, maybe?

Drive fast. He's coming.

So you think you can fool Trym.

Nobody fools Trym!

Shall we go?

Now I've had enough this
nonsense Trym.


This is the last straw!

I ask you this...

...have you totally forgotten
to respect your fellow men?

Fellow men? I have no fellow men!

I live alone.

Who's fault is that?
I ask you, who's fault is that?

You have a son who'd love to visit you,
but you close your door to him.

And you have grandchildren
who miss their grandfather.

But you never pay them a visit...

...and you never buy them gifts...

...despite your having so much money
that you stack it under your mattress.

You dress like a guttersnipe...

...and you never wash.

Not only that...'re downright wicked,
wicked and stupid!

- Stupid?
- Yeah, stupid.

- Stupid?
- Yeah!


You harass innocent people, and you...



What's this?
Have you got sleeping sickness, Svampe?

What time is it?

Almost one.



Have a good time, little friend.

Where are you going, by the way?

To a wedding.

A wedding, huh?

I was sitting high
on the ship's mast.

We were in the harbour.

I looked down at the quay.

There I saw the loveliest lady...

...dressed in a white frock
and small shoes.

She waved to me, and I tried
to wave back, you know.

I fell seven metres and
broke my leg in three places.

That was Laura, sixteen years ago...

...and now we're getting married.

Hi, Svampe. Hi.



Laura's nervous. She's shut
herself in the bedroom.

I don't know if I dare today.

It's so embarrassing.
The old people are here.

- The old people?
- Yes.

They threaten to go home
if we don't get started.

Would you speak to her?

- Speak with Laura?
- Yes.

Persuade her.

No, Beine, that I can't do!

You must fix this yourselves, Beine.
You're behaving like kids!

Don't leave, Svampe. Kind Svampe!

I beg you!

Who is it?

It's Svampe.

Come in.

So pretty, Laura.

You think so?


Here's a wedding gift for you from me.

Wedding gift?

Won't you open it?


You know Laura,
old love doesn't rust.


Wine. Wine.

More wine. More!


Beine, I'm just joking!

Cripes, Laura!

Oh Cripes!


Relax! He's meek as a lamb.

Well, come then!

I ask you, Beine, do you want Laura
who stands by you?


Then I ask you, Laura, do you want
Beine who stands by you?

Do you want Beine who stands by you?

- Laura!
- Yes?

Do you want Beine who stands by you?


Good. We hereby declare
you wedded man and wife.


You shall also have a chance.


One thousand and one... thousand and two... thousand and three.

There he is!

Gosh. Svampe, you gave us a fright.

Where have you been?

I told you I would attend a wedding.

A wedding?


What was that?

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