Staying Together (1989) - full transcript
Jake McDermott, after 25 years running a fast food business, proclaims one morning that he's hated dealing with chickens the entire time and has finally sold the family restaurant. For his three sons, who counted on taking it over someday, this comes as a shock and begins to break apart their family. No longer big, carefree fish in a small pond, will the boys manage to rearrange their lives and reconcile with their parents?
(girl on radio)
...AND I WANT TO KNOW
HOW TO GET MY BOYFRIEND
INTERESTED IN ROMANCE.
MY MOM TALKS ABOUT,
ALL THE TIME,
HOW--HOW ROMANTIC MY DAD WAS
WHEN THEY WERE TEENAGERS,
AND ALL MY BOYFRIEND DOES
IS WATCH TV AND GO TO BED--
WHICH TIE?
OH, UH...
[sniffing]
HONEY, THE BLUE ONE, OK?
IT'S ON THE THIRD HOOK
FROM THE LEFT, ON THE BACK OF THE CLOSET.
AND CALL THE BOYS.
BREAKFAST IS READY
IN 5 MINUTES.
BUMS, YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES.
BUMS?
(Kit)
OK.
[birds chirping]
[exhales deeply]
DUNCAN?
DUNCAN, GET OUT OF BED.
[exhales]
[foot tapping]
[sighs]
HEY, BRIAN?
[sighing]
GREAT.
[dog barking]
BRIAN?
BRIAN?
BRIAN?
[window knocking]
[Nancy groans]
(Kit)
HI, NANCY.
OH, HEY, HI. OH.
DON'T FORGET...
WATCH IT--WATCH IT.
DON'T LET ANYBODY SEE YOU.
YOU EVER GET THE FEELING
LIKE YOU'RE NOT WANTED?
[both chuckle]
I GOT 2 MINUTES
AND 15 SECONDS TO FIND DUNCAN.
[imitating car horn]
DUNCAN!
[Duncan groans]
HI.
HI.
TIME FOR BREAKFAST?
LOOKS TO ME LIKE
YOU DIDN'T QUITE FINISH YOUR DINNER.
COME ON. WE GOTTA.
YEAH.
HA, SEE?
JEEZ.
[pan sizzling]
[exclaims]
I KNOW IT'S THERE.
BACK OF THE CLOSET.
THIRD HOOK FROM THE LEFT.
YEAH, WELL,
BLUE IS BAD LUCK.
WHO SAYS?
MY FATHER WAS WEARING
BLUE WHEN HE DIED.
WELL, HONEY,
HE WAS IN THE NAVY.
IF HE'D BEEN IN THE ARMY,
GREEN WOULD BE BAD LUCK.
(Brian)
GOOD MORNING.
DO YOU SEE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THIS TIE?
A LITTLE GROSS,
ISN'T IT?
YOU'VE GOT 14 SECONDS
TO CHANGE.
HOUDINI.
(Eileen)
BURGUNDY IS A REALLY STRANGE COLOR.
IT DOESN'T
LOOK GOOD ON YOU.
DUNCAN WILL
BE RIGHT DOWN.
(Jake)
THAT'S BALONEY.
BLUE IS BETTER.
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH A SUIT ON?
WOULD YOU SHUT
THAT THING OFF?
DAD!
I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF EAT.
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE
WITH THAT THING ON.
WHAT'S THE BIG OCCASION?
(Duncan)
HOW IS MY DEAR FAMILY THIS MORNING?
YOU'RE EARLY.
TRUST ME.
(Duncan)
MOTHER, YOU LOOK RADIANT, AS ALWAYS.
SIT DOWN.
CAN I HAVE SOME EGGS?
(Brian)
I WENT OVER LAST MONTH'S ACCOUNTS, DAD.
THEY WERE
A LITTLE BIT DOWN.
WELL, PEOPLE DON'T
EAT AS MUCH IN JUNE.
WHO DOESN'T EAT IN JUNE?
[Duncan whoops]
I DON'T HAVE ANY OF
THE FIGURES WITH ME, BUT THE DROP WAS SIGNIFICANT.
IF YOU DON'T EAT IN JUNE,
YOU'LL BE DEAD IN JULY.
(Kit)
MOM.
(Brian)
ANYWAY, I THINK WE SHOULD GO OVER THEM.
KIT, I HATE TO BRING IT UP
AT THIS SUMPTUOUS REPAST,
BUT IT LOOKS AS IF YOU'RE
DRINKING A GLASS OF PUKE.
YOU WOULD KNOW.
I'M GOING INTO
THE CITY TODAY.
I'M LEAVING BRIAN IN CHARGE.
(Kit)
OH, MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING FOR?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, DAD.
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.
OH BOY, WE CAN FUCK AROUND
ALL DAY, HUH?
HEY, DON'T USE THAT WORD
IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER.
(Brian)
WHAT'S THIS TRIP, DAD?
JUST A MEETING.
WHAT MEETING?
NOTHING YOU HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT.
I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT,
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE MEETING IS.
JAKE, THE BLUE TIE, HONEY.
DAD, CAN YOU DROP OFF
MY ENTRY FORM FOR THE RACE?
UM, DAD, BEFORE YOU GO,
DO YOU HAVE $20 I CAN BORROW?
DAD, I REALLY WANNA GO OVER
THOSE FIGURES WITH YOU.
(Jake)
IS THAT IT?
ARE THERE
ANY MORE REQUESTS?
BLUE BRINGS OUT
THE COLOR IN YOUR EYES.
WHO WANTS THE REST
OF THE EGGS?
OH, DEAR, SHOULD I?
OK, WELL,
MAYBE THIS ONCE.
WHAT'S THIS BIG MEETING, MOM?
OH, IF HE WANTED YOU TO KNOW,
HE WOULD'VE TOLD YOU, WOULDN'T HE?
YEAH, SO WHAT'S
THE BIG MYSTERY?
OH, THE BIG MYSTERY IS
WHERE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER WERE LAST NIGHT.
WELL, THIS IS
JUST A GUESS,
BUT I WOULD SAY THAT BRIAN WAS
OVER AT NANCY TRAINER'S PLACE,
AND YOU WERE IN FRONT
OF THE POLICE STATION,
COVERED IN YOUR OWN VOMIT.
WHAT?
MORE HASH BROWNS, DUNCAN?
NO, THANKS.
[crossing bell ringing]
[Lois singing]
GOOD MORNING, LOIS.
♪ SHOO, FLY, DON'T BOTHER ME ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I BELONG
TO SOMEBODY ♪
HEY, KIT?
HEY, LOIS.
I SAW YOU RUNNING
THIS MORNING.
OH, YEAH?
MM-HMM.
I LOVE WATCHING YOU RUN.
YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE GOT A GOOD STYLE.
YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, EASY, LIKE, UH...
OH, CRAP, WHAT ARE
THOSE THINGS THAT RUN?
A--A GAZELLE.
DO GAZELLES RUN?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I'M THINKING
OF SOMETHING ELSE.
LOIS?
LOIS?
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO
DOO-DOO-DOO, HEY! ♪
DOWN, SET, HUT!
HUT!
HUT!
HUT!
[exclaims]
[laughing]
WILL THIS BE ENOUGH?
YOU ARE A HUMANITARIAN,
A BENEVOLENT PRESENCE
IN THIS AGE OF FRUGALITY.
IF ALL FATHERS WERE
SUCH GOOD EXAMPLES
TO THEIR SONS,
THIS WORLD WOULD BE--
[timer bell rings]
IT'S ALL IN HERE, HUH?
OH YEAH, YEAH.
AND THAT'S A 15-MILE RUN, DAD.
REALLY?
YEAH.
I'M DON'T KNOW IF I'M UP TO IT
BUT I'M SURE GONNA TRY.
I DON'T THINK I COULD
RUN 15 FEET ANYMORE.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING
REALLY LIKE IT, THOUGH.
[timer bell rings]
DAD, DAD, WAIT.
NO, NOT NOW, BRIAN.
JUST LOOK AT
THE DIFFERENCE IN PRICE.
BRIAN, I HAVE
ALWAYS BOUGHT FROM OWEN.
HE GIVES GOOD QUALITY,
BUT HIS PRICE JUST ISN'T COMPETITIVE.
NO, I BELIEVE IN LOYALTY.
WELL, I BELIEVE IN PROFIT.
DRIVE CAREFULLY.
BRIAN,
YOU'VE DONE A GOOD JOB.
DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE GONNA GET
THOSE FIGURES UP.
KNOCK OFF EARLY
IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT.
[Lois singing]
[timer bell rings]
HURRY, LOIS. WE ONLY GOT
A COUPLE MINUTES.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, LOIS, DON'T PULL
THE VIRGIN BIT AGAIN.
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF,
BABY BOY.
LOIS, I'M HURTING,
I AM BURNING.
I HAVE THIS ERECTION.
IT IS SO BIG,
IT'S LIKE ONE OF THOSE THANKSGIVING DAY BALLOONS.
IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING
ABOUT IT SOON, BANG!
I WILL BE LEFT WITHOUT A DICK
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I'M ONLY 17.
YOU'RE JAILBAIT.
LOIS, HAVE MERCY
ON ME, PLEASE.
CROSS MY HEART
AND HOPE TO DIE,
I WON'T EVER DO
ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.
[exclaims]
OHH, GOD, IT FEELS SO GOOD.
[chuckling]
PLEASE?
YOU'D POOP YOUR PANTS
IF I EVER SAID YES.
[laughing]
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I HAD BETTER
GET BACK TO WORK.
[chuckles]
WELL, SHE WAS FANTASTIC.
ONE OF THE BEST
I'VE EVER HAD.
[timer bell rings]
OK, WE'RE OPEN.
[phone ringing]
UH, LOIS?
HOT SAUCE, RIGHT.
[all chattering]
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
$5.95.
[both chattering]
ALL RIGHT, MRS. FRAKER,
HERE YOU GO,
$5.95. $6, $7, $8, $9,
$10, AND $10 IS $20.
THANKS A LOT, MRS. FRAKER,
THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
OK.
OH, AND I HAD A GREAT TIME
TUESDAY, MRS. FRAKER.
CALL ME AGAIN NEXT TIME,
WHEN MR. FRAKER'S OUT OF TOWN.
I THINK IT'S GONNA
BE DELICIOUS.
OK.
[sighs]
THE SEXUAL DEMANDS
OF THIS JOB ARE TOO MUCH.
PUT ON YOUR DEODORANT, MAN.
SHE'S HERE.
WAIT.
ALL RIGHT, THERE WE GO.
OK, HOW DO I LOOK?
LIKE SHIT. GO GET HER.
HI.
HI.
UM, IS YOUR FATHER HERE?
I NEED TO ORDER SOME FOOD FOR A RECEPTION.
NO, HE'S NOT HERE.
YOU CAN TALK TO BRIAN, HE'S IN CHARGE TODAY.
OH, NO, NO, THAT'S OK.
NO, I'LL COME BACK
WHEN HE'S BACK.
WELL, HE'S HERE RIGHT NOW.
YOUR FATHER?
NO, HE'S NOT HERE.
I THOUGHT YOU JUST
SAID HE WAS HERE.
I DID?
WELL, IS HE HERE OR ISN'T HE?
ARE YOU COMING
TO MY WEDDING?
UH, I DON'T--I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO WEAR.
THAT'S OK.
YOU MEAN, I DON'T
HAVE TO WEAR ANYTHING?
DID YOU SEND IN
YOUR ENTRY FOR THE RUN?
WELL, I HAD MY-- YEAH.
IT'S PRETTY SCARY,
DON'T YOU THINK?
I'M GONNA COME BACK
WHEN YOUR FATHER'S HERE. BYE.
[grunts]
HEY, MISS BARROWS,
HOW ARE YOU?
FINE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HEY, GEORGE. JIM.
HI, NANCY.
MIND IF I SIT DOWN?
HAVE A SEAT.
REST YOUR WEARY BONES.
MY FEET ARE KILLING ME.
JIM, LOOK,
MY POSITION IS THIS.
I JUST FEEL WE HAVE
TO CONTROL THE DEAL.
THERE'S A LOT OF DEVELOPERS
OUT THERE WITH A LOT OF MONEY,
AND I DON'T SEE WHY
WE SHOULDN'T HAVE SOME OF IT ON OUR OWN TERMS.
WELL, WE DON'T WANT
A LOT OF STRANGERS IN THIS TOWN.
BUT THEY WON'T
STAY STRANGERS.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS,
RED SQUARE?
(Nancy)
THE DEVELOPERS HAVE LAND, THEY PAY THEIR TAXES...
HI, EXCUSE ME.
HI, MISS TRAINER.
OH, HELLO.
COULD I SEE YOU
FOR A MINUTE?
UH, SURE,
JUST EXCUSE ME, WOULD YOU?
GO RIGHT AHEAD.
WOULD YOU MIND IF I LEFT
THESE HERE?
YOU SURELY MAY.
I'LL BE BACK.
SHE'LL BE BACK.
THANK YOU.
NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, NANCY.
[service bell rings]
WHAT?
[door closing]
YOU KNOW, MY DAD WOULD
GO THROUGH THE ROOF
IF HE KNEW YOU WERE IN HERE
CAMPAIGNING LIKE THIS.
YOUR DAD?
WHAT, DOESN'T HE BELIEVE
IN THE RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH?
YEAH.
NO, HE BELIEVES IN
THE RIGHT FOR OUR CUSTOMERS
TO EAT THEIR FOOD IN PEACE.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOUR FATHER'S A LOT MORE ON THE BALL
THAN YOU GIVE HIM
CREDIT FOR.
OH, NOW YOU KNOW MY DAD
BETTER THAN I DO?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
ONE OF THESE DAYS HE'LL TAKE
ONE OF THOSE OFFERS
HE'S BEEN GETTING
FOR THIS LAND.
WHAT OFFERS?
NEVER MIND.
LOOK, JUST--JUST
FORGET ABOUT IT.
I'LL JUST LEAVE
YOUR CUSTOMERS IN PEACE.
SATISFIED?
NO, NOT QUITE.
COME HERE.
DON'T DO THAT!
DID YOU KNOW
THAT THIS DESK HERE PULLS OUT INTO A BED?
YOUR MIND PULLS
OUT INTO A BED.
IS THAT ALL YOU EVER
WANT FROM ME, SEX?
YEAH.
WHY, WHAT DO YOU
WANT FROM ME?
YOUR VOTE.
[dog barking]
BRIAN.
THE USUAL, HUH.
DUNC.
YEAH?
DID DAD EVER SAY ANYTHING
TO YOU ABOUT SELLING?
SELLING WHAT?
ANYTHING. THE LAND,
OR THE BUSINESS.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
HE LIVES FOR THIS PLACE.
POOR SLOB.
YEAH, WHAT DO YOU
LIVE FOR, HUH?
HAPPY HOUR.
[bike engine revs]
[dog barking]
[rooster crowing]
HEY, BUCKO.
BRIAN.
HOW YOU DOING?
WILL YOU PLEASE
TAKE ME FOR A RIDE?
NO WAY, PUNK.
HERE, TAKE YOURSELF.
YOU READY?
[horn blares]
YEAH.
HEY, WAIT FOR ME.
[chickens clucking]
WHERE'S YOUR MOM?
(Beth)
HI. LONG TIME NO SEE.
WHO'S THAT?
MOMMY.
WHO?
MOMMY.
MOMMY? HI, MOM.
HI.
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
OUT IN THE FRONT YARD.
WHAT IS IT?
YOU KNOW, WHEN DUNCAN
WAS THIS GUY'S AGE,
HE USED TO FOLLOW ME
AROUND EVERYWHERE.
I HATED IT.
I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT,
I HAD PLACES TO GO, PEOPLE TO SEE.
I WAS 9.
[chickens clucking]
[rooster crowing]
HERE YOU GO.
THANKS.
THANK YOU.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FELLA?
SEE YOU, PAL.
(Beth)
BYE.
WHERE--WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
BYE.
WHERE YOU GOING, MISTER?
HELLO.
HI.
HI, MA'AM,
CAN I HELP YOU?
SO, HOW'S BUSINESS?
MMM, PEOPLE ARE
STILL EATING.
UM, DID YOU HEAR
FROM DAD TODAY?
IS HE COMING HOME?
DAD IS GOING TO BE LATE.
AND I STOPPED BY
FOR A HEAD COUNT FOR SUPPER.
OH, YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT.
WHY? ARE YOU, UH,
ARE YOU PLANNING ON DRINKING
YOUR DINNER AGAIN TONIGHT?
I RESENT THAT INSINUATION.
(Kit)
DON'T WORRY, MOM,
WE'LL FIND SOMETHING
TO EAT SOMEWHERE.
[Brian chuckles]
ALL RIGHT.
BYE.
BYE.
SEE YOU.
GOOD-BYE.
♪[harmonica playing]
BRIAN, YOU'RE BEGINNING
TO LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD.
KIT, EVERYBODY ALWAYS SAID
YOU LOOK LIKE GRANDPA.
DUNCAN,
I DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU LOOK LIKE.
[dog barking]
HAVE A GOOD SUPPER. EAT.
BYE.
BYE-BYE.
(Brian)
GOOD NIGHT.
(Duncan)
BYE, MOM.
[birds chirping]
OKAY.
LET'S CLOSE
THIS PUPPY DOWN.
YEAH.
[man laughing]
(Duncan)
HEY, HOTEL BUICK.
(Duncan)
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
[music playing]
BRIAN, MAN,
HE'LL DO ANYTHING.
I MEAN, HE HAS GOT THE NERVE.
THAT'S MY BROTHER.
♪ AND YOU'RE LOOKIN'
FOR A PLACE TO SLEEP ♪
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
HE'LL DO ANYTHING.
HE'S GOT BALLS.
OUR BROTHER HAS BALLS.
[Duncan snickering]
WOW. MY GOODNESS.
HE'S GETTING INTO IT.
♪ SPENDING NIGHT
DOWN AT THE HOTEL BUICK ♪
♪ THE FINEST FLOP IN TOWN ♪
OH, YEAH, BRIAN.
♪ IF THE BEDS ARE FULL
YOU CAN ALWAYS ♪
[Duncan singing]
♪ HOTEL BUICK ♪
(Brian)
I'LL BET YOU SOMETHING.
(Kit)
NO. UH-UH. NO BETS.
[Duncan singing]
♪ HOTEL BUICK ♪
I'LL BET YOU THAT
BY THE TIME WE DIE
THEY'D CHANGE
THE NAME OF THIS TOWN.
CHANGE THE NAME?
OF THE WHOLE TOWN.
FROM NOW ON IT'LL BE KNOWN
AS MCDERMOTTVILLE!
WELL, NOW YOU'VE
CHALLENGED MY FAMILY PRIDE.
I WOULD PUT MONEY ON THAT.
THEY'LL PUT A STATUE
OF MOM AND DAD UP IN THE PARK.
MCDERMOTT PARK.
YEAH, OUR CHICKENS WILL BE
FAMOUS ALL OVER THE WORLD.
MAN, FROM A SMALL
FAMILY RESTAURANT
TO AN INTERNATIONAL
CORPORATION.
THIS IS THE GREAT
AMERICAN SUCCESS STORY.
WE DON'T JUST HAVE
TO SELL CHICKENS, EITHER.
WE CAN SELL OTHER STUFF.
LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT.
RUBBERS?
RUNNING SHOES.
CHICKEN, RUBBERS
AND RUNNING SHOES.
A CONGLOMERATE.
UH--UH--UH!
YEAH, RIGHT.
I LIKE IT.
HEY, CAR.
STOP!
STOP IN THE NAME
OF THE LAW.
NO, DON'T.
THIS IS OUR TOWN,
ISN'T IT?
WE HAVE THE RIGHT
TO INSPECT.
LICENSE, PLEASE?
[whispering]
IT'S BEVERLY.
(Kevin)
WHAT'S WRONG?
WE'RE TESTING
EVERYONE FOR DRUNK DRIVING.
WOULD YOU MIND
STEPPING OUT OF THE CAR?
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S DRUNK.
THAT'S WHY THEY PUT ME
IN CHARGE, SEE.
BECAUSE I'M THE EXPERT.
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
I'LL TAKE THE TEST.
(Duncan)
THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
BEVERLY, GET BACK
IN THE CAR.
KEVIN, THEY'RE DOING
A PUBLIC SERVICE.
THAT KEVIN.
HI.
HI.
WALK THIS LINE AND SAY
THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.
(Kevin)
WHEN WILL YOU GROW UP, MCDERMOTT?
(Brian)
I'M NOT IN ANY HURRY.
"I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
TO THE FLAG"--
BACKWARDS.
"I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
TO THE FLAG"--
NO. UM.
WHAT?
WALK FORWARDS AND
SAY IT BACKWARDS.
YOU ACT STUPIDER THAN DUNCAN,
AND HE ACTS LIKE HE'S 5.
ACT YOUNG, STAY YOUNG.
THAT'S MY PHILOSOPHY.
YEAH, WELL, IT SEEMS
TO BE WORKING FOR YOU.
(Beverly)
LET ME THINK.
BEVERLY!
ALL.
ALL...
ALL...
(Duncan)
UH-UH, NO COACHING.
FOR...
OK, A LITTLE COACHING.
JUSTICE.
JUSTICE.
AND?
(Kevin)
BEVERLY.
SHE'S PASSING.
AND LIBERTY--
SHE'S DOING GREAT.
OK, WAIT,
NOW THE BREATHALYZER TEST.
BEVERLY!
GOD DAMN YOU.
MMM.
SOBER AS A JUDGE.
HEY, MAN.
IF YOU DON'T--
HEY, YOU DON'T
TOUCH MY BROTHER.
[all clamoring]
IT'S OK, BRIAN.
DON'T TOUCH--
BEVERLY, GET IN THE CAR.
YEAH, WELL, JUST REMEMBER
ONE THING. DON'T COME TO ME FOR A JOB.
I WOULDN'T COME TO YOU
FOR A BLOWJOB.
BYE.
BYE, BEVERLY.
YOU KNOW
THE GREAT THING ABOUT THIS TOWN?
WHAT?
THERE'S ALWAYS
SOMETHING TO DO.
I'M GOING HOME.
[Duncan laughing]
(Kit)
MCDERMOTTVILLE!
YEAH.
I LIKE IT.
IT WORKS FOR ME.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HOTHEAD?
HUH?
DRINKING, TAKING DOPE,
HARASSING INNOCENT PEOPLE?
I AM SHOCKED AT
YOUR BEHAVIOR.
AND TO THINK YOU WANTED ME,
AN IMPRESSIONABLE YOUTH--
SHUT UP.
THANK HEAVENS I CURLED UP
WITH A GOOD BOOK INSTEAD.
(Jake)
DON'T YOU EVER SHUT UP?
JUST SAY THE WORD.
I CAN'T GET IN A WORD
TO SAY THE WORD.
GOSH, POP,
I DIDN'T MEAN NO HARM.
I GOTTA GET TO WORK.
UH, HOLD IT.
[clears throat]
I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
HAS ANY OF YOU EVER
SEEN ME EAT AN EGG?
WELL, HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN YOUR MOTHER
SERVE ME AN EGG
FOR BREAKFAST?
I'LL ANSWER FOR YOU. NO.
NEVER.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?
HAS ANYBODY
EVER ASKED YOURSELF
WHY YOUR OLD MAN
DOESN'T EAT EGGS?
BECAUSE THEY COME
FROM CHICKENS.
AND IF THERE'S ONE THING
I HATE MORE THAN EGGS, IT IS CHICKENS.
FOR 25 YEARS,
I'VE SOLD CHICKENS.
MY WHOLE LIFE,
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, HAS BEEN ABOUT CHICKENS.
AND I HATE 'EM!
THEY'RE FILTHY.
THEY'RE STUPID.
THEY'RE RATS WITH
A GOOD REPUTATION.
WELL, I'M DONE.
NOW HERE'S ANOTHER QUESTION
YOU MIGHT ASK YOURSELF:
"WHY WOULD YOUR OLD
MAN SPEND HIS LIFE SELLING SOMETHING HE HATED?"
BECAUSE I HAD TO!
I HAD TO MAKE A LIVING.
I HAD A FAMILY TO SUPPORT.
YOU BOYS ARE GROWN.
THE LAST ONE'S OUT OF SCHOOL.
AND I AM THROUGH
WITH CHICKENS.
I'VE HAD IT.
ALL THIS IS IN
THE WAY OF SAYING THAT, UH,
I'VE SOLD THE BUSINESS.
WE'RE CLOSED.
THAT'S IT.
IT'S OVER.
I GOT AN OFFER ON THE LAND.
THERE'S LOTS OF
INTEREST IN THIS TOWN NOW, UH,
WITH THE, UH, LAKE AND
MOUNTAINS AND SO FORTH.
IT'S GROWING.
AND THOSE NEW
WHAT-DO-YOU-CALL-THEMS
ARE GOING UP OUT
THERE ON LAKE SHORE DRIVE. WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM?
CONDOS?
THE TIME WAS RIPE.
I GOT A GOOD PRICE.
I DON'T REGRET IT.
JUST LIKE THAT?
YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT.
NO WARNINGS?
NO DISCUSSIONS? NOTHING?
I DISCUSSED IT
WITH YOUR MOTHER.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT US?
I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO.
DON'T WE COUNT?
WE PUT OUR WHOLE LIVES INTO
THAT BUSINESS, TOO, YOU KNOW.
AND TODAY IT'S:
"HEY, KIDS, BY THE WAY,
FUCK YOU, WE'RE CLOSED."
NOW, WE HAVE
RULES ABOUT THAT WORD.
WE DON'T HAVE RULES.
YOU JUST FUCKED ALL THE RULES.
I EXPECT YOU TO BE SURPRISED.
WHAT ARE WE, HUH?
COME ON,
YOU'RE LOOKING AT US.
DO WE MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
ARE WE YOUR SONS?
NOW, LET'S JUST DISCUSS
THIS CALMLY, ALL RIGHT?
DISCUSS IT?
NOW YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT.
YOU'RE--YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE.
I HAD MY REASONS.
NO.
WHICH I'LL BE
HAPPY TO TELL YOU.
IF YOU WILL LISTEN.
NO. NO!
NOW LISTEN TO ME.
NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
ABOUT YOUR REASONS. YOUR REASONS ARE CRAP.
YOU DIDN'T TELL US.
YOU TOLD OTHER PEOPLE,
THOUGH, DIDN'T YOU?
FOR ALL I KNOW,
THIS WHOLE FUCKING TOWN KNOWS ABOUT IT.
BUT NOT US.
NO, NOT US.
WHAT ARE WE, HUH?
DO WE MEAN
ANYTHING TO YOU?
NO, WE'RE JUST
KIDS, RIGHT?
KIDS CAN'T BE TRUSTED.
AND IF YOUR OWN FATHER
CAN'T TRUST YOU, THEN WHO THE HELL CAN?
SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN FOR 2 MINUTES.
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO DO NOW, HUH?
I HOPE YOU GOT A PLAN, DAD,
BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON'T.
I'M DEPENDING ON YOU
FOR THOSE ANSWERS,
BECAUSE I'M JUST A KID, DAD.
AND THAT'S WHAT
DADDIES ARE FOR,
TO PROVIDE!
(Eileen)
DON'T MOVE. LET ME CLEAN IT UP.
WAIT A SECOND.
I THINK HE TOOK THAT WELL.
(Jake)
DON'T BOTHER.
YOU REALLY DON'T WANT--
PLEASE.
GO CHANGE. GO ON.
PLEASE, HONEY.
YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE
A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD
AND FOOD TO EAT.
I PROMISE YOU THAT.
I WILL PROVIDE.
IS IT...
IS IT JUST 'CAUSE
THE FIGURES ARE A LITTLE DOWN?
I JUST DON'T WANT TO DIE
SELLING CHICKENS.
WHO'S DYING?
(Eileen)
NOBODY'S DYING.
NO, IT'S JUST
A BAD JOKE, SON.
I WANNA BE FISHING
WHEN I DIE.
OR CLIMBING
A MOUNTAIN SOMEWHERE, OR EXPLORING SOMETHING.
AND IF YOU BOYS
CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT,
THEN I'M SORRY.
NO, I'M NOT SORRY.
IT WAS MY DECISION,
AND I MADE IT.
NEVER MIND.
[seagulls cawing]
(workman #1)
HEY, ASK HIM TO CHECK THE PLANS.
BRING OVER THE PLANS.
(workman #2)
HUH?
[men talking]
WHO DO I TALK TO
ABOUT A JOB?
SEE THE BOSS.
[men continue talking]
RALPH.
JUST A SEC.
FUCK.
[phone ringing]
GIVE ME 30 SECONDS, GUYS.
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
WOW.
WE PUT IN A BID
FOR THE RESTAURANT
THEY'RE GONNA
BUILD ON YOUR LAND.
WE CAME IN TOO HIGH.
THEY'RE PUTTING
IN A PIECE OF JUNK.
WHEN I HIRE SOMEONE,
MR. MCDERMOTT,
I NEED TO KNOW THEY'RE GONNA
BE EASY TO WORK WITH.
THEY DON'T NEED
TO BE COMICS.
IT DOESN'T GET
THE JOB DONE ANY FASTER.
THEY NEED TO SHOW UP
FOR WORK ON TIME, STRAIGHT, AND SOBER.
IF THEY RESPECT ME,
I RESPECT THEM.
[exhales]
NOW, WE DON'T KNOW
EACH OTHER VERY WELL.
WE'RE ACQUAINTED.
WE'VE MET ON
SOCIAL OCCASIONS.
BUT MY IMPRESSION IS
THAT YOU ARE A SMART-ASS,
A TROUBLEMAKER,
AND A POTHEAD.
YOU THINK
YOU'RE REAL TOUGH.
YOU LIKE TO
INTIMIDATE PEOPLE. YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE.
YOU DON'T RESPECT ME.
IN FACT, I DON'T THINK
YOU RESPECT YOURSELF.
IN SHORT, MR. MCDERMOTT,
I THINK YOU'RE
A SELF-CENTERED, JUVENILE PRICK.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
SO, WHEN DO I START?
[snickers]
OH, SHIT.
THAT WAS GREAT.
THAT WAS GREAT.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS.
THIS WAS GREAT.
IT WENT DOWN THE STAIRS, AND HE JUMPED OVER IT.
(Duncan)
DID YOU SEE WHAT HE DID? HE JUMPED OVER IT.
(Eileen)
I HEARD.
BRIAN, YOU SHOULD
HAVE SEEN IT.
(Eileen)
BRIAN'S LEAVING. WOULD YOU GO TALK TO HIM?
GO TALK TO HIM.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
BRIAN.
BRIAN.
LOOK, IF YOU HAVE
TO LEAVE HOME,
LET'S DO IT ON GOOD TERMS.
YOUR MOTHER IS UPSET.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SET
SOME OF THIS STUFF DOWN,
AND WE'LL GO
IN THE TV ROOM,
AND WE'LL CLOSE THE DOOR,
AND WE'LL HAVE IT OUT?
YOU LIVE IN YOUR
OWN WORLD, DAD.
I DON'T HAVE
TIME TO WASTE.
(male host)
MOST OF THE EASTERN BOUNDARY OF THIS STATE
IS FORMED BY
THE SAVANNAH RIVER.
PAM?
(Pam)
WHAT IS "GEORGIA"?
(show host)
THAT'S RIGHT.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US
YOU WERE SELLING, DAD?
WE LOOKED STUPID.
IT JUST WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN SO BAD IF YOU'D TOLD US.
THAT'S ALL.
[TV continues]
YOU WOULD HAVE
TALKED ME OUT OF IT.
NOT YOU, BUT BRIAN.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT
HE WOULD HAVE SAID.
"JUST RETIRE,
AND WE'LL RUN THE BUSINESS."
WELL, I COULDN'T DO THAT.
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY.
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO
TAKE MY WORD FOR IT THAT I DID THE RIGHT THING.
SHALL WE VIEW THE BODY?
GUESS NOT.
DID YOU KNOW DENNY STOCKTON
IS LOOKING
FOR SOMEBODY TO
HELP HIM AT THE STORE?
YEAH?
HMM, IF EITHER OF
YOU IS INTERESTED.
REALLY?
[clearing throat]
MAYBE I'LL CHECK IT OUT.
YOU'RE LATE, BUSTER,
BIG-TIME.
BURLEY'S PRETTY
TICKED OFF RIGHT NOW.
I KNOW.
MCDERMOTT, YOU'RE LATE.
YEAH, I KNOW,
I GOT HUNG UP--
I DON'T TOLERATE LATENESS.
YOU'RE FIRED.
OK, WELL, I'M JUST GONNA
FINISH OUT TODAY THEN.
DON'T BOTHER.
PETE'S MAKING OUT YOUR PAYCHECK.
YOU GOT A MAN ON VACATION.
I'LL JUST WORK FOR HIM.
MCDERMOTT,
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?
(Kevin)
YOU'RE FIRED!
[cash register rings]
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
SEE YOU SOON.
HI.
HI.
HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD.
IT'S EMBARRASSING,
BUT I--I NEED THEM.
YEAH.
[groans]
[cash register rings]
$45.15.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
UM, YOU WANNA GO
RUNNING LATER, MAYBE?
YEAH, WHAT TIME?
I THINK I GET OFF
AT 6:00, RIGHT? 6:00?
YEAH. IF YOU'RE FREE.
OK. I'LL MEET YOU
ON THE TRAIL.
GREAT.
YOU LOOK GOOD IN A UNIFORM.
THANKS.
MCDERMOTT?
GOOD NIGHT.
(worker)
SEE YOU, PAL.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
SEE YOU TOMORROW, HUH?
[crickets chirping]
WELL--
[footsteps approaching]
BUT--
WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME...
STAN, NOW LISTEN,
TIMES HAVE CHANGED,
AND YOU CAN'T DO
ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
YEAH, WELL, WHAT?
WELL, NO.
UH, NO, I--I--I HAVE
ABSOLUTELY NO QUARREL WITH THAT.
NO, NOTHING,
NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST.
MY FEELING IS
WE SHOULD JUST OPEN OUR MINDS
TO LET PEOPLE INTO THIS TOWN
WHO COULD HELP US.
STAN, YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME.
NOW, I LOVE THIS TOWN.
AND I JUST WANT TO SEE IT
GROW AND EXPAND. SLOWLY, YES.
NO, I...
I'M NOT FOR RUSHING ANYTHING.
I'M PREPARED TO TAKE
EVERYTHING TOTALLY SLOWLY.
YOU KNOW MY POSITION ON THAT.
I'M PREPARED TO TAKE
A HARD LINE AGAINST ANYBODY GROWING DRUGS IN THIS TOWN.
YEAH. RIGHT.
UH-HUH.
OH, YES. OH, YES.
STAN, COULD I CALL YOU BACK?
I'VE JUST GOT
SOMETHING ON THE STOVE.
UH, ALL RIGHT,
I'LL JUST TAKE IT OFF.
[crow cawing]
I'LL SHOW YOU MINE,
IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS.
WHAT?
HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT?
YUP, YUP.
YUP.
[leaves rustling]
I'M ALREADY DRUNK.
NOT QUITE DRUNK ENOUGH,
SWEETHEART.
[people chattering]
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED?
(news announcer on TV)
...MUCH COLDER AIR WILL BE ENTERING
THE ANACONDA AREA TODAY...
WITH A FAMILY,
WITH KIDS, A FARM.
...READING AS MUCH AS
20 DEGREES ABOVE NORMAL...
SUNDAY DINNERS.
CAN I PLOW IN HEELS?
NO.
[Charlie whooping]
SHE DID IT.
ON THE HOUSE, YOUR HONOR.
[all chattering]
WHAT?
YEAH.
(announcer)
THE TOWN OF RIDGEWAY VOTED OUT THE OLD AND VOTED IN THE NEW.
NANCY TRAINER,
A LOCAL REALTOR, WON AN UPSET VICTORY
OVER INCUMBENT MAYOR,
FORMAN FLEMING...
WHO HAD HELD OFFICE
FOR THE PAST 12 YEARS.
CHARLIE, YOU GOT
ANYTHING REAL TO DRINK?
I GOT SOME MILLER.
I THINK I'D LIKE TO GO.
[phone ringing]
(Nancy)
HELLO? TOO LATE.
[laughs]
[exhales deeply]
BRIAN, WOULD YOU MIND
IF I SENT YOU HOME TONIGHT?
I MEAN, THIS DAY HAS BEEN,
WELL, YOU CAN IMAGINE.
I AM JUST EXHAUSTED.
THAT FAST, HUH?
MY BRAIN IS FRIED.
NOW YOU'RE GONNA
STRING ME ALONG AND LET ME DOWN EASY, HUH?
IT'S JUST FOR TONIGHT.
BRIAN, PLEASE.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
DUMP ME,
BUT DON'T BULLSHIT ME.
I DIDN'T KNOW
I COULD ACTUALLY WIN.
I THOUGHT IT WAS
JUST A DRY RUN.
OR YOU WOULD'VE
DUMPED ME LONG AGO?
IT WOULDN'T LOOK
GOOD FOR THE MAYOR
TO BE SEEN OUT
ROBBING THE CRADLE.
LOOK, WE'RE BOTH TIRED.
I'M NOT.
WE'RE NOT
THINKING STRAIGHT.
I AM.
WE BOTH KNEW
THIS WOULDN'T LAST.
I DIDN'T.
[phone ringing]
[Kit whistling]
HEY, KITRICK?
YEAH?
BRING YOUR MOM
OVER TO THE BUFFALO.
LET HER SIT IN
WITH US.
I JUST DON'T
THINK SHE'D GO, BOSS.
KIDNAP HER.
[cash register rings]
♪ IT'S 2 O'CLOCK
AND IT'S SHUTDOWN TIME ♪
♪ EVERYBODY'S MOVIN' OUT
THE DOOR ♪
♪ MY BABY ASKED ME, EASY,
YOUR PLACE OR MINE ♪
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOUR MOTHER AND I CAN'T JUST WAIT IN THE CAR.
ALONE?
THE TWO OF YOU IN A CAR?
NO. COME ON,
LET'S GO. SIT DOWN.
(Jake)
I HATE THIS MUSIC.
IT WILL TAKE 2 SECONDS,
DAD. 2 SECONDS.
I SWEAR ON
DUNCAN'S LIFE.
(Kit)
PREPARE TO DIE.
SO CAN WE GET A COUPLE
OF DRINKS IN HERE?
YOU WANT THEM
WHILE WE'RE WAITING?
♪ A REAL BIG LOVE ♪
WHAT'S GOING ON?
♪ IN A SMALL TOWN ♪
THANK YOU,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WE'RE GLAD YOU ARE ALL
HAVING A GOOD TIME TONIGHT
BECAUSE WE HAVE
A SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU.
A YOUNG LADY'S HERE
THAT USED TO SING WITH US
BACK IN OUR HIGH-SCHOOL BAND.
(man)
The Hi-Lows.
MAYBE WE CAN
PERSUADE HER TO GET UP AND SING A SONG WITH US.
HOW ABOUT IT, EILEEN?
WHAT'S THAT?
ONE SONG, DAD.
DAD, ONE SONG.
HONEY, I CAN'T.
COME ON, MOM,
YOU GOT TO.
(Denny)
COME ON, EILEEN.
COME ON.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
EILEEN MCDERMOTT.
[all cheering]
(Kit)
GO, MOM.
[all cheering]
[Eileen discussing]
♪[piano solo playing]
♪ SONGS WERE MADE TO SING ♪
♪ WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪
♪ EVERY DAY IS SPRING ♪
♪ WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪
♪ NONE CAN REFUSE ♪
♪ TIME FLIES SO FAST ♪
♪ TOO DEAR TO LOSE ♪
♪ AND TOO SWEET ♪
♪ TO LAST ♪
♪ THOUGH IT MAY BE JUST ♪
♪ FOR TODAY ♪
♪ SHARE OUR LOVE ♪
♪ WE MUST ♪
♪ WHILE WE MAY ♪
♪ SO BLUE SKIES ♪
♪ A SWEET SURPRISE ♪
♪ SHINES BEFORE OUR EYES ♪
♪ WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪
♪ SO BLUE SKIES ♪
♪ SHINE BEFORE OUR EYES ♪
♪ WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪
LISTEN.
LISTEN, PAY ATTENTION. PAY ATTENTION.
(Eileen)
OK. I'VE WRITTEN OUT 2 WEEKS OF MENUS FOR YOU
AND, UM, I'VE MARKED IT WHEN
YOU HAVE TO TAKE SOMETHING OUT OF THE FREEZER.
LIKE, UH,
WEDNESDAY, THE 5TH
DEFROST RUMP ROAST, OK?
SEE, AND, UH,
THERE'S YOUR RUMP ROAST.
IT'S--IT'S IN
THE SILVER FOIL.
AND OVER HERE,
DOWN HERE IN THIS COLUMN,
I'VE WRITTEN THE PAGE NUMBER,
IN THE COOKBOOK,
OF THE RECIPE
OF THE RUMP ROAST.
RIGHT? OK.
AND, UH,
THIS IS YOUR COOKBOOK.
AND, UH, THAT'S IT.
[honking]
[chuckling]
(Eileen)
GUYS, TAKE CARE. WE'LL CALL YOU.
BE GOOD, OK?
GOOD-BYE.
(Jake)
THANKS.
HAVE A GOOD TRIP.
ALL RIGHT.
OK. DRIVE SAFELY.
OK. BYE.
[cans rattling]
BYE.
[grumbling]
I FIRED YOU.
I INSULTED YOU.
I GAVE YOU
THE WORST JOBS THAT I HAD.
I TOLD YOU I NEVER WANNA
SEE YOUR UGLY FACE AROUND HERE AGAIN.
AND YOU'RE STILL HERE.
YOU ARE THE SLOWEST GUY
AT TAKING A HINT
THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.
YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.
I DON'T LIKE IT,
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
YOU'RE PROMOTED.
YEAH?
YEAH. NOW GET OUT
OF HERE.
[phone ringing]
(man #1)
WAY TO GO.
(man #2)
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
[truck horn blaring]
[fly buzzing]
[humming]
THIS COULD BE THE CURE
FOR CANCER.
(Kit)
OH, MAN.
[jar falling]
OH, HI.
YOU'RE BACK.
HI, MY FOOT.
WHAT'VE YOU--WHAT'VE YOU
DONE TO MY KITCHEN?
I LEAVE YOU ALONE
FOR 2 SECONDS AND YOU MAKE A MESS OF EVERYTHING.
IT'S GONNA TAKE ME
ALL DAY LONG
TO CLEAN THIS UP.
YEAH. BUT
WE WERE GONNA--
OH, YOU MAKE ME SICK!
I DON'T WANNA...
GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
YOU DISGUST ME,
BOTH OF YOU.
(Eileen)
GET BACK IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS UP!
[door slamming]
BUT THE BOTTOM OF THE 4TH
WAS A NIGHTMARE
AND AT THE HALF-INNING,
A COMEBACK WE'LL NEVER FORGET.
CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE, DAD?
MM-HMM.
I'M REALLY GLAD YOU SOLD
THE CHICKEN BUSINESS.
IT'S FORCED ME
TO TAKE STOCK OF MY LIFE
AND--AND MAKE SOME PLANS
FOR MY FUTURE.
DAD?
[TV continues]
I HAVE DECIDED
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
I'D LIKE
TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.
MM-HMM.
I'M GONNA BE A BUM.
SLEEP IN DOORWAYS,
BUY HALF-PINTS,
DRINK FROM A PAPER BAG,
BEG FROM PEOPLE
ON THE STREET.
(Duncan)
DAD?
(Jake)
HMM.
DON'T WORRY, DAD.
I'LL MAKE YOU PROUD.
GOOD.
[church bells ringing]
[honking]
HEY, BUCKO.
HEY.
I LIKE WHAT THEY'VE DONE.
IT'S SIMPLE,
SPARE, IT'S IN GOOD TASTE.
[train horn blowing]
[birds chirping]
WHAT'S UP AT HOME?
OH, IT'S ACTION-PACKED.
HOW'S DAD DOING?
FOR A CORPSE?
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
BRIAN,
IF YOU WANNA KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON AT HOME,
STOP OVER SOMETIME.
MOM'S GOT A CANDLE
IN THE WINDOW FOR YOU.
"THE BOY WHO WOULDN'T
SPEAK TO HIS FATHER" IS A GOOD BIT.
YOU DO IT REALLY WELL.
BUT THE PRODIGAL SON
IS GOOD, TOO.
CHECK IT OUT.
I CAN'T SPEAK
FOR THE OTHERS,
BUT I WOULDN'T MIND
SEEING YOUR STUPID FACE ONCE IN A WHILE.
[people chattering]
[whistle blowing]
(run announcer)
ONE MINUTE UNTIL RACE TIME.
WILL THE PEOPLE THAT
ARE STANDING RIGHT DIRECTLY
IN FRONT OF THE STARTING LINE
PLEASE MOVE OUT OF THE AREA?
ALL RIGHT, JUDGE GERHARDT
WILL FIRE THE GUN
IN 20 SECONDS.
RUNNERS, TAKE YOUR MARKS.
MY FEET HAVE WINGS.
READY?
I'M NOT GONNA RUN,
I'M GONNA FLY.
SET.
GO!
(Jake)
I DON'T SEE HIM.
GO.
(male spectator)
ALL RIGHT, COME ON!
(female spectator)
GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!
♪ SOMETIMES THE TIMES GO BY
IN A BLAZE ♪
♪ AND SO MANY THINGS
I STILL WANNA TRY ♪
WANT SOME WATER?
♪ FEEL LIKE
I'M LOSING MY DIRECTION ♪
(girl)
GET GOING! GET GOING!
♪ I JUST CAN'T CRY ♪
♪ THE MORE THINGS CHANGE ♪
♪ THE MORE THEY
STAY THE SAME ♪
♪ LIFE GOES ON ♪
♪ THE NAMES WILL ALL REMAIN ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME ♪
(run announcer)
WITH ONE KILOMETER LEFT IN THE RACE,
ED GASTON OUT IN THE LEAD,
WITH VETERANS KARL FAIRMONT
WHO ARE, RIGHT NOW,
AHEAD OF THE COMPETITION, KIT MCDERMOTT.
[exclaims]
AND MCDERMOTT,
IN A SUDDEN BURST OF SPEED,
HAS PUSHED AHEAD
OF A BEWILDERED FAIRMONT.
[Eileen exclaiming]
[Eileen laughing]
GO!
[gasps]
(run announcer)
IT'S GEORGE TAYLOR IN FIRST PLACE,
CLOSE BEHIND
IS ED GASTON IN SECOND,
AND THE UPSET WINNER
OF THE DAY,
KIT MCDERMOTT,
TAKES THIRD PLACE.
CONGRATULATIONS, SON.
YEAH!
[both exclaim]
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
THAT'S OUR KIT.
WHERE YOU GOING?
YOU'LL SEE.
(Beverly)
WHAT?
(Kit)
COME ON.
[laughing]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE A BUM, YOUNG.
I'M A WHAT?
A BUM.
YOU'RE NOTHING
BUT TROUBLE.
[imitating dog]
DON'T BARK
AT HER LIKE THAT.
I WASN'T BARKING
AT HER.
(Kit)
HI, MOM. YEAH.
YEAH. HOW ABOUT THAT?
HEY--HEY, DID DAD SEE IT?
HE DID? GOOD, GOOD.
HEY, THE REASON I'M CALLING
IS THAT DUNCAN'S CAR
BROKE DOWN
AND IT LOOKS LIKE
WE'LL BE STUCK HERE.
THEY CAN'T GET TO IT
TILL TOMORROW.
SO I'M-- SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO FIND PLACE TO STAY TONIGHT.
AND, UM, WE--WE'LL BE OK.
IT'S JUST--
NO, I DON'T WANNA BUG
AUNT MARIE AND UNCLE BILL.
TELL THEM
TO CALL MY PARENTS.
OH, YEAH. DO ME A FAVOR.
CALL THE YOUNGS
AND LET THEM KNOW
THAT BEVERLY'S OK AND, UM,
WE'LL GET HOME
AS SOON AS WE CAN.
OH, OK. OK, OK,
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
UM, BYE, MOM.
GREAT. YOU DID GREAT.
LET'S GO.
OOH, OH, MY.
[giggles]
HALF THE BOTTLE'S
ON THE FLOOR.
A TOAST.
A TOAST, UM,
TO WHAT?
LET ME THINK. TO, UM...
WE HAVE ALL NIGHT.
[inhales deeply]
TO THAT, THEN.
[exhales]
BEVERLY?
YOU ASLEEP?
I'M STILL MARRYING KEVIN.
I KNOW.
[both sighing]
I ALREADY PUT A DEPOSIT DOWN
ON THE CATERER.
UH-HUH.
I ALREADY GOT THE FLOWERS.
MOTHER BOUGHT
HER DRESS ALREADY.
I'M SURE SHE DID.
[gasps]
MY BROTHER GOT
HIS HAIR CUT.
UH-HUH.
MY AUNT ANN'S
COMING IN FROM WICHITA.
BEVERLY.
UH-HUH?
CAN WE TALK ABOUT
THIS LATER, MAYBE?
YEAH.
OK. OK.
[both moaning]
[gasping]
[grunting]
I WANT YOU THERE.
THE MODERN WOMAN
ALWAYS HAS HER LOVERS AT HER WEDDING.
[engine starts]
BRIAN?
(Brian)
WHAT?
YOU GOT A VISITOR, PAL.
SOME WOMAN.
OH...
HELLO.
[hammering]
HI.
BRIAN, I WANT YOU
TO COME HOME AND SEE YOUR FATHER.
YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT.
YOU'VE HURT HIS FEELINGS.
I HURT HIS?
THAT'S TYPICAL.
BUT YOU CAN'T IGNORE HIM
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
WHY NOT?
HE'S YOUR FATHER.
[Eileen sighing]
DINNER IS AT 5:00
ON SUNDAY.
I CAN'T. I'M BUSY.
GET UN-BUSY.
MOM, WHY DIDN'T HE COME?
WHAT?
WHY DIDN'T DAD COME?
HE DOESN'T GO OUT MUCH.
(Eileen)
DUNCAN, KIT, DINNER IN 5 MINUTES.
(Kit)
HEY, LOOK. DAD'S FINALLY GETTING RID OF ALL THAT JUNK.
HEY, DAD!
(Kit)
DAD.
(Kit)
DUNCAN, YOU BETTER...
DUNCAN, CALL
AN AMBULANCE. D-D-DUNCAN!
DAD! MA!
DAD? DAD?
DAD?
(Duncan)
NOT ME, DAD!
HELP!
(woman on P.A. system)
LAB 313 TO EMERGENCY. LAB 313 TO EMERGENCY.
(nurse)
SIR?
SIR, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
IN THERE.
SIR?
BRIAN?
BRIAN?
(woman on P.A. system)
Dr. Glass, call...
NO, NO. YOU'RE NOT
ALLOWED IN THERE.
YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED
IN THIS AREA.
AAH!
[groaning]
(woman on P.A. system)
DR. CLAIRWELL, PRE-NATAL UNIT.
DR. CLAIRWELL, PRE-NATAL UNIT.
[crying]
[crying]
(man)
I MEAN, SHE JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
[siren wailing]
AW, BRIAN, MAN,
YOU SHOULD SEE THIS PLACE.
THEY JUST...
COME ON, MOM.
LET'S GO HOME.
(woman on P.A. system)
DR. BLAIR, DR. BLAIR.
DR. JAAY HAMILTON,
DR. JAY HAMILTON.
[Eileen moans]
(woman on P.A. system)
DR. ALLGOOD, PLEASE REPORT TO EMERGENCY.
[Eileen crying]
[birds chirping]
[door knocking]
[whispering]
COME ON, MOM.
GIVE ME THE TIE.
[sniffing]
MOM, GIVE ME THAT.
MOM, GIVE ME THAT.
MOM, COME ON.
[bird squawking]
[church bells ringing]
[clucking]
CAN I LOOK NOW?
NOT YET.
PLEASE?
NO.
BRIAN,
THAT'S TOO MUCH.
BIRTHDAYS ARE ALWAYS
A BIG DEAL IN MY FAMILY.
OK.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SQUIRT.
[Demetri exclaiming]
[bicycle bell rings]
HEY, HEY,
NOT IN THE HOUSE.
(both)
♪ ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT ♪
♪ GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM ♪
♪ MERRILY, MERRILY,
MERRILY, MERRILY ♪
♪ LIFE IS BUT A DREAM ♪
♪ ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT ♪
(Brian)
♪ GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM ♪
♪ MERRILY, MERRILY,
MERRILY, MERRILY ♪
♪ LIFE IS BUT A DREAM ♪
IT'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW.
[van approaching]
$13,150?
MM-HMM.
MOM, I THINK YOU SHOULD START,
UH, SINGING AT THE BUFFALO.
REALLY? I DON'T--
REALLY.
EVERYONE LIKED YOU.
YOU WERE GREAT.
NO.
YOU WERE, UH, SEXY.
DON'T EVER TELL ANYONE
I SAID THAT.
SWEAR ON YOUR LIFE
THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL
ANYONE THAT I SAID THAT.
YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT SWEARING ANYTHING.
YOU...
HEY, KIT.
(Kit)
WHAT?
(Brian)
COME HERE.
GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.
ENCLOSED, YOU'LL FIND
A COMPLETE ACCOUNT
OF EVERY PENNY
YOU'VE LENT ME OVER THE YEARS.
YOU WILL ALSO FIND
LEGAL TENDER IN PAYMENT OF THE AFORESAID DEBTS
AND INTEREST AT
CURRENT BANK RATES.
BRIAN,
YOUR GENEROSITY
HAS ONLY BEEN EXCEEDED BY YOUR PATIENCE.
KIT, MY MAIN MAN,
I HOPE I DIDN'T CAUSE YOU
ANY UNDUE FINANCIAL HARDSHIP.
GENTLEMEN, GOOD DAY.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
ROB A BANK?
YOU ARE LOOKING
AT A NEW MAN.
OR AN ASSHOLE
IN THE MAKING.
[Kit chuckling]
[cars passing]
HEY, KIT?
YEAH.
CAN I TALK TO YOU?
SURE.
I WANT YOU
TO BE HONEST.
YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOUR BROTHERS WOULD SAY
IF THEY KNEW
I TOOK YOUR MOM OUT?
OUT?
WELL, NOT ON A DATE,
BUT OUT TO DINNER.
WELL, THAT'S A DATE,
ISN'T IT?
YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
[bell ringing]
WHY DON'T YOU ASK THEM?
THAT'S WHY I WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU.
I HEAR BRIAN'S
GOT A REAL TEMPER.
YEAH.
SEE, HERE'S THE DEAL, KIT.
YOUR MOM AND I
GO BACK A LONG WAY.
ALL THE WAY TO HIGH SCHOOL.
AND YOU KNOW
YOUR DAD I WERE FRIENDS.
I'VE GOT ALL
THE RESPECT IN THE WORLD.
BUT LOOKING DOWN
THE ROAD A LITTLE,
IF THINGS COULD TURN OUT
LIKE YOU WOULD HOPE,
OR LIKE I WOULD HOPE,
IT MIGHT BE NICE TO BE
A PART OF THE FAMILY.
[exclaims]
YEAH.
[cash register rings]
"HUMAN SEXUALITY,"
THAT'S HEALTHY.
"DRUGS, ALCOHOL
AND TOBACCO ABUSE," THAT'S 3 CREDITS.
THAT'S ONE YOU'D PASS.
I THINK SO.
HERE, HONEY.
BETH'S GONNA
COOK ME DINNER.
ONE FOR THE ROAD?
THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT
I CAME UP WITH:
"INTERESTS: EATING,
SLEEPING, AND SEX.
"GOALS: TO BE TALLER."
[Eileen chuckling]
BABY BROTHER HERE
IS APPLYING FOR COLLEGE.
(Duncan)
YEAH, WELL, SOMEBODY BETTER AMOUNT
TO SOMETHING IN THIS FAMILY.
I MEAN, MY GOD.
YOU PUSH A BROOM,
YOU SLING CEMENT,
OUR DEAR MOTHER WORKS IN A SALOON.
SOMEBODY HAS GOT TO LIFT
THE MCDERMOTT NAME OUT OF THE MUD.
(Brian)
AND YOU'RE JUST THE GUY TO DO IT?
(Duncan)
MM-HMM.
CONGRATULATIONS.
WHO ARE YOU
CONGRATULATING?
YOU.
TO WHAT DO I OWE
THIS HONOR?
AREN'T YOU
SUPPOSED TO CONGRATULATE THE BRIDE?
I, UH, I FORGET
THE RULES ON THIS ONE.
YOU SEE, SHE'S GETTING
MARRIED TO MY BOSS.
SEE, I'LL BE WORKING
FOR MY NEW DAD
JUST LIKE I WORKED
FOR MY OLD DAD.
KIT.
WERE YOU GONNA TELL US?
WAIT A MINUTE.
HE JUST TOOK ME OUT TO DINNER.
WHAT DID YOU TELL US?
I ASKED HIM FOR A JOB.
BUT WE HAVE TO FIND
THAT OUT THE HARD WAY
JUST LIKE WE FIND OUT
EVERYTHING ELSE AROUND HERE.
THERE'S NOTHING
TO FIND OUT.
ARE YOU SLEEPING
WITH HIM?
KIT.
I GUESS THAT'S
A STUPID QUESTION.
WHAT I REALLY WANNA KNOW...
W-WHAT WE REALLY WANNA KNOW
IS HOW LONG
YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM.
I BET YOU WERE SLEEPING
WITH HIM BEFORE DAD DIED, TOO.
I GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU, MOM.
I'VE GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU.
YOU PULLED
A FAST ONE THIS TIME.
THAT'S THE LAST FOOD
I WILL EVER MAKE YOU.
SO EAT IT!
[sighs]
(Kit)
WHAT?
WHAT?
(Beverly)
KIT?
THOSE ARE FUNNY CLOTHES
TO RUN IN.
I'M GOING TO TELL HIM.
TELL?
KEVIN.
I'M GOING OVER
THERE RIGHT NOW.
I THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW.
OH.
WHY?
YOU DON'T THINK I SHOULD?
NO, I DON'T.
IT MAY SHOCK YOU,
BUT I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HIM.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO DO.
I'M GOING CRAZY.
[sighs]
YOU CAN'T-- YOU CAN'T
GO THROUGH WITH THIS, BEVERLY. I GOTTA STOP THIS.
I AM MARRYING KEVIN.
I NEVER PRETENDED I WASN'T.
THEN WHAT WAS THAT?
WAS THAT JUST WARMING UP
FOR THE WEDDING NIGHT?
WAS THAT REHEARSAL?
WAS THAT PRACTICE?
NO.
THEN WHAT WAS IT?
THAT WAS LOVE.
DON'T GET ALL CRAZY ON ME.
THAT WAS LOVE.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I'LL DO IT.
DO YOU WANT ME TO PROPOSE?
DO YOU WANT ME ON MY KNEES?
KIT!
I NEED SOMEONE THAT I CAN...
THAT I CAN LEAN ON.
THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM.
HE CAN DO THAT FOR ME.
I CAN, TOO.
YOU'RE JUST A BOY.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE
CARE OF YOURSELF.
THIS ISN'T SAD.
IT WON'T BE SAD.
[sighs]
I JUST...
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.
HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WARD, I'M A LITTLE WORRIED
ABOUT THE BEAVER.
[paper rustling]
(Brian)
THERE HE IS. SLOW DOWN. PULL UP NEXT TO HIM.
(Brian)
KIT!
HEY, LOBOTOMY-BRAIN,
YOU GOT A MINUTE?
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S YOUR AILMENT, BOY?
HEY!
HEY!
(Brian)
MAN, WHAT IS HE DOING?
DUNCAN, DON'T
RUN HIM OVER.
KIT!
(Duncan)
HOLD ON.
(Brian)
DUNCAN, WHAT ARE YOU... WHERE ARE YOU...
(both)
HEY! HEY, KIT!
(Brian)
DUNCAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
(Brian)
SEE THE TREES, DUNCAN?
DUNCAN, YOU...
HOLY SHIT.
[Duncan screaming]
(Brian)
WATCH THE TREES, DUNC.
HOLY SHIT!
(Brian)
STOP! STOP!
(Brian)
KIT!
GO AWAY!
JESUS.
HEY, HOLD IT.
NO!
(Duncan)
OH, FUCK!
(Brian)
DUNCAN!
(Kit)
DUNCAN!
[gasping]
[coughing]
[all gasping]
[Duncan laughing]
(Duncan)
OH, THAT WAS GREAT.
OH, THAT WAS COOL.
LET'S DO THAT AGAIN, HUH?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU STUPID SHIT.
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO, KILL US?
WHY THE HELL
DIDN'T YOU STOP?
WHY THE HELL
DIDN'T HE STOP?
HE KNEW
THE CLIFF WAS THERE, TOO.
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D BE STUPID ENOUGH TO DRIVE OVER IT, DICK.
WHY DON'T YOU GROW UP?
HEY, MAN...
WHO YOU TALKING TO?
FUCK YOU.
LOOK, NOBODY
GOT HURT, RIGHT?
YOU EVER TALK TO MY
MOTHER THAT WAY AGAIN, I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS.
(Duncan)
MELLOW OUT.
AT LEAST I TALKED TO HER.
YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO DAD.
FUCK YOU.
HE LOVED HER. FUCK YOU FROM YOU.
(Duncan)
STOP IT, SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET--
DUNCAN, GET UP.
(Brian)
HE'S OUT COLD.
HE'S DEAD.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
(Brian)
I DON'T KNOW.
DROWN HIM?
NO.
BURY HIM?
NO.
NAH.
TICKLE HIM.
TICKLE HIM.
NO!
[laughing]
PINK BELLY.
NO! NO! NO! NO!
[echoing]
WE ARE ASSHOLES!
WE'RE ASSHOLES!
WE'RE ASSHOLES!
(Kit)
WE'RE ASSHOLES!
(Duncan)
WE'RE ASSHOLES!
(Kit)
KEVIN?
I JUST WANTED TO
SAY CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE A VERY LUCKY MAN.
WELL, THANKS.
YOU BET.
HEY, CAN I BORROW YOUR
WIFE FOR A MOMENT?
TAKE HER.
THANK YOU, I ALREADY DID.
KIT.
OH, OH, I FORGOT TO
SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
WHAT?
IT'S THE BIG ONE.
NEW YORK CITY MARATHON.
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M UP TO IT,
BUT I'M GONNA TRY.
YOU ARE.
YOU'LL PROBABLY WIN.
NAH, I'M NOT GONNA WIN,
BUT I WILL SEE NEW YORK, RIGHT?
♪[saxophone playing]
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
HEY, PAL.
HI.
(Brian)
YOU WANNA DANCE?
(Demetri)
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
(Brian)
YEAH, THERE YOU GO.
(male singer)
♪ OH, BABY, YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME ♪
♪ WITH A LOVE
THAT'S ALWAYS TRUE ♪
(Beth)
HI.
HI.
DID YOU FIND MY PARTNER?
[giggling]
♪ A GIRL LIKE YOU
IS HARD TO FIND ♪
♪ I'LL SEARCH
MY WHOLE LIFE THROUGH ♪
♪ LOVIN' YOU
IS A PIECE OF CAKE ♪
♪ AND I'M LOOKING
FORWARD TO YOU ♪
♪ OH, EVERY SINGLE
THING I DO ♪
LUCILLE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
IN A LONG TIME.
YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT ERECTION OF YOURS.
ARE YOU, UM, DOING
ANYTHING WITH IT, SAY AROUND 11:00 TONIGHT?
[music continues playing]
YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?
BRING IT BY.
WHAT'S UP, BUCKO?
I'M GONNA BE A MAN.
[both laughing]
PRETTY EMOTIONAL FAMILY.
[people chattering]
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
NOTHING.
(Denny and Eileen)
♪ FOR IT WON'T BE LONG ♪
♪ 'TIL I'M GONNA NEED ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON ♪
(Denny)
♪ JUST CALL ON ME, BROTHER, WHEN YOU NEED A FRIEND ♪
(all)
♪ WE ALL NEED SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON ♪
♪ I JUST MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM
THAT YOU'LL UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ WE ALL NEED SOMEBODY
TO LEAN ON ♪
♪ LEAN ON ME ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE NOT STRONG ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND ♪
♪ I'LL HELP YOU CARRY ON ♪
♪ FOR IT WON'T BE LONG ♪
♪ 'TIL I'M GONNA NEED ♪
I'M SORRY, MOM.
I KNOW.
(Duncan)
WHOO!
(Brian)
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY, BABY.
(Duncan)
I THINK YOU SHOULD MARRY BETH.
GOD HELP ME,
IF THE DAY EVER COMES
WHEN I HAVE TO
TAKE YOUR ADVICE.
THAT KID NEEDS A FATHER.
NO, THAT KID
NEEDS UNCLES.
WELL, ONE THING'S FOR SURE.
YOU CAN'T LIVE TOGETHER.
I MEAN, THIS IS A SMALL TOWN.
NOT FOR LONG.
THERE ARE NO SMALL TOWNS,
JUST SMALL PEOPLE.
AND WE ARE NOT SMALL PEOPLE.
DUNCAN IS.
FUCK YOU.
WE'RE GIANTS.
LEGENDS
IN OUR OWN MINDS.
YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT...
UH-OH.
DUNCAN'S THINKING.
..."FUCK YOU"
ISN'T SUCH A BAD THING TO SAY TO SOMEBODY.
I MEAN,
IT'S KIND OF SWEET.
IT'S LIKE
SAYING "I LOVE YOU," ONLY IT'S MORE HIP.
DON'T YOU
EVER SHUT UP?
NO, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
THIS IS SERIOUS.
I MEAN, HALF OF THE WORLD
IS GOING AROUND
SAYING SOMETHING
TO THE OTHER HALF,
AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW
IT'S A COMPLIMENT.
I MEAN, MY GOD,
THIS IS A LINGUISTIC
BREAKTHROUGH.
DANGER. PHILOSOPHER
CROSSING OVER HERE.
WHAT A NIGHT.
THEY'LL TALK ABOUT THIS
FOR YEARS TO COME.
IT'LL CHANGE THE WAY
THE WORLD THINKS.
LIKE THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY
OR THE DISCOVERY OF GRAVITY.
FUCK YOU
IS GOOD.
BRIAN, FUCK YOU.
KIT, FUCK YOU, TOO.
YEAH. ELOQUENTLY PUT
ANYWAY, RIGHT?
YES, INDEED.
I'LL DRINK
TO THAT.
I THINK
I WILL AS WELL.
YOU WALK AROUND
IN A FOG MOST OF THE TIME
(Duncan)
AND THEN SUDDENLY ONE NIGHT, IT'S ALL CLEAR.
LIFE HAS MEANING,
AFTER ALL.
(Kit)
AND THE NIGHT IS YOUNG.
(Brian)
McDERMOTTVILLE.
[Duncan sighing]
YEAH.
...AND I WANT TO KNOW
HOW TO GET MY BOYFRIEND
INTERESTED IN ROMANCE.
MY MOM TALKS ABOUT,
ALL THE TIME,
HOW--HOW ROMANTIC MY DAD WAS
WHEN THEY WERE TEENAGERS,
AND ALL MY BOYFRIEND DOES
IS WATCH TV AND GO TO BED--
WHICH TIE?
OH, UH...
[sniffing]
HONEY, THE BLUE ONE, OK?
IT'S ON THE THIRD HOOK
FROM THE LEFT, ON THE BACK OF THE CLOSET.
AND CALL THE BOYS.
BREAKFAST IS READY
IN 5 MINUTES.
BUMS, YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES.
BUMS?
(Kit)
OK.
[birds chirping]
[exhales deeply]
DUNCAN?
DUNCAN, GET OUT OF BED.
[exhales]
[foot tapping]
[sighs]
HEY, BRIAN?
[sighing]
GREAT.
[dog barking]
BRIAN?
BRIAN?
BRIAN?
[window knocking]
[Nancy groans]
(Kit)
HI, NANCY.
OH, HEY, HI. OH.
DON'T FORGET...
WATCH IT--WATCH IT.
DON'T LET ANYBODY SEE YOU.
YOU EVER GET THE FEELING
LIKE YOU'RE NOT WANTED?
[both chuckle]
I GOT 2 MINUTES
AND 15 SECONDS TO FIND DUNCAN.
[imitating car horn]
DUNCAN!
[Duncan groans]
HI.
HI.
TIME FOR BREAKFAST?
LOOKS TO ME LIKE
YOU DIDN'T QUITE FINISH YOUR DINNER.
COME ON. WE GOTTA.
YEAH.
HA, SEE?
JEEZ.
[pan sizzling]
[exclaims]
I KNOW IT'S THERE.
BACK OF THE CLOSET.
THIRD HOOK FROM THE LEFT.
YEAH, WELL,
BLUE IS BAD LUCK.
WHO SAYS?
MY FATHER WAS WEARING
BLUE WHEN HE DIED.
WELL, HONEY,
HE WAS IN THE NAVY.
IF HE'D BEEN IN THE ARMY,
GREEN WOULD BE BAD LUCK.
(Brian)
GOOD MORNING.
DO YOU SEE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THIS TIE?
A LITTLE GROSS,
ISN'T IT?
YOU'VE GOT 14 SECONDS
TO CHANGE.
HOUDINI.
(Eileen)
BURGUNDY IS A REALLY STRANGE COLOR.
IT DOESN'T
LOOK GOOD ON YOU.
DUNCAN WILL
BE RIGHT DOWN.
(Jake)
THAT'S BALONEY.
BLUE IS BETTER.
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH A SUIT ON?
WOULD YOU SHUT
THAT THING OFF?
DAD!
I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF EAT.
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE
WITH THAT THING ON.
WHAT'S THE BIG OCCASION?
(Duncan)
HOW IS MY DEAR FAMILY THIS MORNING?
YOU'RE EARLY.
TRUST ME.
(Duncan)
MOTHER, YOU LOOK RADIANT, AS ALWAYS.
SIT DOWN.
CAN I HAVE SOME EGGS?
(Brian)
I WENT OVER LAST MONTH'S ACCOUNTS, DAD.
THEY WERE
A LITTLE BIT DOWN.
WELL, PEOPLE DON'T
EAT AS MUCH IN JUNE.
WHO DOESN'T EAT IN JUNE?
[Duncan whoops]
I DON'T HAVE ANY OF
THE FIGURES WITH ME, BUT THE DROP WAS SIGNIFICANT.
IF YOU DON'T EAT IN JUNE,
YOU'LL BE DEAD IN JULY.
(Kit)
MOM.
(Brian)
ANYWAY, I THINK WE SHOULD GO OVER THEM.
KIT, I HATE TO BRING IT UP
AT THIS SUMPTUOUS REPAST,
BUT IT LOOKS AS IF YOU'RE
DRINKING A GLASS OF PUKE.
YOU WOULD KNOW.
I'M GOING INTO
THE CITY TODAY.
I'M LEAVING BRIAN IN CHARGE.
(Kit)
OH, MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING FOR?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, DAD.
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.
OH BOY, WE CAN FUCK AROUND
ALL DAY, HUH?
HEY, DON'T USE THAT WORD
IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER.
(Brian)
WHAT'S THIS TRIP, DAD?
JUST A MEETING.
WHAT MEETING?
NOTHING YOU HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT.
I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT,
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE MEETING IS.
JAKE, THE BLUE TIE, HONEY.
DAD, CAN YOU DROP OFF
MY ENTRY FORM FOR THE RACE?
UM, DAD, BEFORE YOU GO,
DO YOU HAVE $20 I CAN BORROW?
DAD, I REALLY WANNA GO OVER
THOSE FIGURES WITH YOU.
(Jake)
IS THAT IT?
ARE THERE
ANY MORE REQUESTS?
BLUE BRINGS OUT
THE COLOR IN YOUR EYES.
WHO WANTS THE REST
OF THE EGGS?
OH, DEAR, SHOULD I?
OK, WELL,
MAYBE THIS ONCE.
WHAT'S THIS BIG MEETING, MOM?
OH, IF HE WANTED YOU TO KNOW,
HE WOULD'VE TOLD YOU, WOULDN'T HE?
YEAH, SO WHAT'S
THE BIG MYSTERY?
OH, THE BIG MYSTERY IS
WHERE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER WERE LAST NIGHT.
WELL, THIS IS
JUST A GUESS,
BUT I WOULD SAY THAT BRIAN WAS
OVER AT NANCY TRAINER'S PLACE,
AND YOU WERE IN FRONT
OF THE POLICE STATION,
COVERED IN YOUR OWN VOMIT.
WHAT?
MORE HASH BROWNS, DUNCAN?
NO, THANKS.
[crossing bell ringing]
[Lois singing]
GOOD MORNING, LOIS.
♪ SHOO, FLY, DON'T BOTHER ME ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I BELONG
TO SOMEBODY ♪
HEY, KIT?
HEY, LOIS.
I SAW YOU RUNNING
THIS MORNING.
OH, YEAH?
MM-HMM.
I LOVE WATCHING YOU RUN.
YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE GOT A GOOD STYLE.
YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, EASY, LIKE, UH...
OH, CRAP, WHAT ARE
THOSE THINGS THAT RUN?
A--A GAZELLE.
DO GAZELLES RUN?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I'M THINKING
OF SOMETHING ELSE.
LOIS?
LOIS?
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO
DOO-DOO-DOO, HEY! ♪
DOWN, SET, HUT!
HUT!
HUT!
HUT!
[exclaims]
[laughing]
WILL THIS BE ENOUGH?
YOU ARE A HUMANITARIAN,
A BENEVOLENT PRESENCE
IN THIS AGE OF FRUGALITY.
IF ALL FATHERS WERE
SUCH GOOD EXAMPLES
TO THEIR SONS,
THIS WORLD WOULD BE--
[timer bell rings]
IT'S ALL IN HERE, HUH?
OH YEAH, YEAH.
AND THAT'S A 15-MILE RUN, DAD.
REALLY?
YEAH.
I'M DON'T KNOW IF I'M UP TO IT
BUT I'M SURE GONNA TRY.
I DON'T THINK I COULD
RUN 15 FEET ANYMORE.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING
REALLY LIKE IT, THOUGH.
[timer bell rings]
DAD, DAD, WAIT.
NO, NOT NOW, BRIAN.
JUST LOOK AT
THE DIFFERENCE IN PRICE.
BRIAN, I HAVE
ALWAYS BOUGHT FROM OWEN.
HE GIVES GOOD QUALITY,
BUT HIS PRICE JUST ISN'T COMPETITIVE.
NO, I BELIEVE IN LOYALTY.
WELL, I BELIEVE IN PROFIT.
DRIVE CAREFULLY.
BRIAN,
YOU'VE DONE A GOOD JOB.
DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE GONNA GET
THOSE FIGURES UP.
KNOCK OFF EARLY
IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT.
[Lois singing]
[timer bell rings]
HURRY, LOIS. WE ONLY GOT
A COUPLE MINUTES.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, LOIS, DON'T PULL
THE VIRGIN BIT AGAIN.
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF,
BABY BOY.
LOIS, I'M HURTING,
I AM BURNING.
I HAVE THIS ERECTION.
IT IS SO BIG,
IT'S LIKE ONE OF THOSE THANKSGIVING DAY BALLOONS.
IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING
ABOUT IT SOON, BANG!
I WILL BE LEFT WITHOUT A DICK
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I'M ONLY 17.
YOU'RE JAILBAIT.
LOIS, HAVE MERCY
ON ME, PLEASE.
CROSS MY HEART
AND HOPE TO DIE,
I WON'T EVER DO
ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.
[exclaims]
OHH, GOD, IT FEELS SO GOOD.
[chuckling]
PLEASE?
YOU'D POOP YOUR PANTS
IF I EVER SAID YES.
[laughing]
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I HAD BETTER
GET BACK TO WORK.
[chuckles]
WELL, SHE WAS FANTASTIC.
ONE OF THE BEST
I'VE EVER HAD.
[timer bell rings]
OK, WE'RE OPEN.
[phone ringing]
UH, LOIS?
HOT SAUCE, RIGHT.
[all chattering]
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
$5.95.
[both chattering]
ALL RIGHT, MRS. FRAKER,
HERE YOU GO,
$5.95. $6, $7, $8, $9,
$10, AND $10 IS $20.
THANKS A LOT, MRS. FRAKER,
THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
OK.
OH, AND I HAD A GREAT TIME
TUESDAY, MRS. FRAKER.
CALL ME AGAIN NEXT TIME,
WHEN MR. FRAKER'S OUT OF TOWN.
I THINK IT'S GONNA
BE DELICIOUS.
OK.
[sighs]
THE SEXUAL DEMANDS
OF THIS JOB ARE TOO MUCH.
PUT ON YOUR DEODORANT, MAN.
SHE'S HERE.
WAIT.
ALL RIGHT, THERE WE GO.
OK, HOW DO I LOOK?
LIKE SHIT. GO GET HER.
HI.
HI.
UM, IS YOUR FATHER HERE?
I NEED TO ORDER SOME FOOD FOR A RECEPTION.
NO, HE'S NOT HERE.
YOU CAN TALK TO BRIAN, HE'S IN CHARGE TODAY.
OH, NO, NO, THAT'S OK.
NO, I'LL COME BACK
WHEN HE'S BACK.
WELL, HE'S HERE RIGHT NOW.
YOUR FATHER?
NO, HE'S NOT HERE.
I THOUGHT YOU JUST
SAID HE WAS HERE.
I DID?
WELL, IS HE HERE OR ISN'T HE?
ARE YOU COMING
TO MY WEDDING?
UH, I DON'T--I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO WEAR.
THAT'S OK.
YOU MEAN, I DON'T
HAVE TO WEAR ANYTHING?
DID YOU SEND IN
YOUR ENTRY FOR THE RUN?
WELL, I HAD MY-- YEAH.
IT'S PRETTY SCARY,
DON'T YOU THINK?
I'M GONNA COME BACK
WHEN YOUR FATHER'S HERE. BYE.
[grunts]
HEY, MISS BARROWS,
HOW ARE YOU?
FINE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HEY, GEORGE. JIM.
HI, NANCY.
MIND IF I SIT DOWN?
HAVE A SEAT.
REST YOUR WEARY BONES.
MY FEET ARE KILLING ME.
JIM, LOOK,
MY POSITION IS THIS.
I JUST FEEL WE HAVE
TO CONTROL THE DEAL.
THERE'S A LOT OF DEVELOPERS
OUT THERE WITH A LOT OF MONEY,
AND I DON'T SEE WHY
WE SHOULDN'T HAVE SOME OF IT ON OUR OWN TERMS.
WELL, WE DON'T WANT
A LOT OF STRANGERS IN THIS TOWN.
BUT THEY WON'T
STAY STRANGERS.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS,
RED SQUARE?
(Nancy)
THE DEVELOPERS HAVE LAND, THEY PAY THEIR TAXES...
HI, EXCUSE ME.
HI, MISS TRAINER.
OH, HELLO.
COULD I SEE YOU
FOR A MINUTE?
UH, SURE,
JUST EXCUSE ME, WOULD YOU?
GO RIGHT AHEAD.
WOULD YOU MIND IF I LEFT
THESE HERE?
YOU SURELY MAY.
I'LL BE BACK.
SHE'LL BE BACK.
THANK YOU.
NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, NANCY.
[service bell rings]
WHAT?
[door closing]
YOU KNOW, MY DAD WOULD
GO THROUGH THE ROOF
IF HE KNEW YOU WERE IN HERE
CAMPAIGNING LIKE THIS.
YOUR DAD?
WHAT, DOESN'T HE BELIEVE
IN THE RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH?
YEAH.
NO, HE BELIEVES IN
THE RIGHT FOR OUR CUSTOMERS
TO EAT THEIR FOOD IN PEACE.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOUR FATHER'S A LOT MORE ON THE BALL
THAN YOU GIVE HIM
CREDIT FOR.
OH, NOW YOU KNOW MY DAD
BETTER THAN I DO?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
ONE OF THESE DAYS HE'LL TAKE
ONE OF THOSE OFFERS
HE'S BEEN GETTING
FOR THIS LAND.
WHAT OFFERS?
NEVER MIND.
LOOK, JUST--JUST
FORGET ABOUT IT.
I'LL JUST LEAVE
YOUR CUSTOMERS IN PEACE.
SATISFIED?
NO, NOT QUITE.
COME HERE.
DON'T DO THAT!
DID YOU KNOW
THAT THIS DESK HERE PULLS OUT INTO A BED?
YOUR MIND PULLS
OUT INTO A BED.
IS THAT ALL YOU EVER
WANT FROM ME, SEX?
YEAH.
WHY, WHAT DO YOU
WANT FROM ME?
YOUR VOTE.
[dog barking]
BRIAN.
THE USUAL, HUH.
DUNC.
YEAH?
DID DAD EVER SAY ANYTHING
TO YOU ABOUT SELLING?
SELLING WHAT?
ANYTHING. THE LAND,
OR THE BUSINESS.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
HE LIVES FOR THIS PLACE.
POOR SLOB.
YEAH, WHAT DO YOU
LIVE FOR, HUH?
HAPPY HOUR.
[bike engine revs]
[dog barking]
[rooster crowing]
HEY, BUCKO.
BRIAN.
HOW YOU DOING?
WILL YOU PLEASE
TAKE ME FOR A RIDE?
NO WAY, PUNK.
HERE, TAKE YOURSELF.
YOU READY?
[horn blares]
YEAH.
HEY, WAIT FOR ME.
[chickens clucking]
WHERE'S YOUR MOM?
(Beth)
HI. LONG TIME NO SEE.
WHO'S THAT?
MOMMY.
WHO?
MOMMY.
MOMMY? HI, MOM.
HI.
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
OUT IN THE FRONT YARD.
WHAT IS IT?
YOU KNOW, WHEN DUNCAN
WAS THIS GUY'S AGE,
HE USED TO FOLLOW ME
AROUND EVERYWHERE.
I HATED IT.
I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT,
I HAD PLACES TO GO, PEOPLE TO SEE.
I WAS 9.
[chickens clucking]
[rooster crowing]
HERE YOU GO.
THANKS.
THANK YOU.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FELLA?
SEE YOU, PAL.
(Beth)
BYE.
WHERE--WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
BYE.
WHERE YOU GOING, MISTER?
HELLO.
HI.
HI, MA'AM,
CAN I HELP YOU?
SO, HOW'S BUSINESS?
MMM, PEOPLE ARE
STILL EATING.
UM, DID YOU HEAR
FROM DAD TODAY?
IS HE COMING HOME?
DAD IS GOING TO BE LATE.
AND I STOPPED BY
FOR A HEAD COUNT FOR SUPPER.
OH, YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT.
WHY? ARE YOU, UH,
ARE YOU PLANNING ON DRINKING
YOUR DINNER AGAIN TONIGHT?
I RESENT THAT INSINUATION.
(Kit)
DON'T WORRY, MOM,
WE'LL FIND SOMETHING
TO EAT SOMEWHERE.
[Brian chuckles]
ALL RIGHT.
BYE.
BYE.
SEE YOU.
GOOD-BYE.
♪[harmonica playing]
BRIAN, YOU'RE BEGINNING
TO LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD.
KIT, EVERYBODY ALWAYS SAID
YOU LOOK LIKE GRANDPA.
DUNCAN,
I DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU LOOK LIKE.
[dog barking]
HAVE A GOOD SUPPER. EAT.
BYE.
BYE-BYE.
(Brian)
GOOD NIGHT.
(Duncan)
BYE, MOM.
[birds chirping]
OKAY.
LET'S CLOSE
THIS PUPPY DOWN.
YEAH.
[man laughing]
(Duncan)
HEY, HOTEL BUICK.
(Duncan)
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
[music playing]
BRIAN, MAN,
HE'LL DO ANYTHING.
I MEAN, HE HAS GOT THE NERVE.
THAT'S MY BROTHER.
♪ AND YOU'RE LOOKIN'
FOR A PLACE TO SLEEP ♪
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
HE'LL DO ANYTHING.
HE'S GOT BALLS.
OUR BROTHER HAS BALLS.
[Duncan snickering]
WOW. MY GOODNESS.
HE'S GETTING INTO IT.
♪ SPENDING NIGHT
DOWN AT THE HOTEL BUICK ♪
♪ THE FINEST FLOP IN TOWN ♪
OH, YEAH, BRIAN.
♪ IF THE BEDS ARE FULL
YOU CAN ALWAYS ♪
[Duncan singing]
♪ HOTEL BUICK ♪
(Brian)
I'LL BET YOU SOMETHING.
(Kit)
NO. UH-UH. NO BETS.
[Duncan singing]
♪ HOTEL BUICK ♪
I'LL BET YOU THAT
BY THE TIME WE DIE
THEY'D CHANGE
THE NAME OF THIS TOWN.
CHANGE THE NAME?
OF THE WHOLE TOWN.
FROM NOW ON IT'LL BE KNOWN
AS MCDERMOTTVILLE!
WELL, NOW YOU'VE
CHALLENGED MY FAMILY PRIDE.
I WOULD PUT MONEY ON THAT.
THEY'LL PUT A STATUE
OF MOM AND DAD UP IN THE PARK.
MCDERMOTT PARK.
YEAH, OUR CHICKENS WILL BE
FAMOUS ALL OVER THE WORLD.
MAN, FROM A SMALL
FAMILY RESTAURANT
TO AN INTERNATIONAL
CORPORATION.
THIS IS THE GREAT
AMERICAN SUCCESS STORY.
WE DON'T JUST HAVE
TO SELL CHICKENS, EITHER.
WE CAN SELL OTHER STUFF.
LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT.
RUBBERS?
RUNNING SHOES.
CHICKEN, RUBBERS
AND RUNNING SHOES.
A CONGLOMERATE.
UH--UH--UH!
YEAH, RIGHT.
I LIKE IT.
HEY, CAR.
STOP!
STOP IN THE NAME
OF THE LAW.
NO, DON'T.
THIS IS OUR TOWN,
ISN'T IT?
WE HAVE THE RIGHT
TO INSPECT.
LICENSE, PLEASE?
[whispering]
IT'S BEVERLY.
(Kevin)
WHAT'S WRONG?
WE'RE TESTING
EVERYONE FOR DRUNK DRIVING.
WOULD YOU MIND
STEPPING OUT OF THE CAR?
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S DRUNK.
THAT'S WHY THEY PUT ME
IN CHARGE, SEE.
BECAUSE I'M THE EXPERT.
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
I'LL TAKE THE TEST.
(Duncan)
THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
BEVERLY, GET BACK
IN THE CAR.
KEVIN, THEY'RE DOING
A PUBLIC SERVICE.
THAT KEVIN.
HI.
HI.
WALK THIS LINE AND SAY
THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.
(Kevin)
WHEN WILL YOU GROW UP, MCDERMOTT?
(Brian)
I'M NOT IN ANY HURRY.
"I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
TO THE FLAG"--
BACKWARDS.
"I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
TO THE FLAG"--
NO. UM.
WHAT?
WALK FORWARDS AND
SAY IT BACKWARDS.
YOU ACT STUPIDER THAN DUNCAN,
AND HE ACTS LIKE HE'S 5.
ACT YOUNG, STAY YOUNG.
THAT'S MY PHILOSOPHY.
YEAH, WELL, IT SEEMS
TO BE WORKING FOR YOU.
(Beverly)
LET ME THINK.
BEVERLY!
ALL.
ALL...
ALL...
(Duncan)
UH-UH, NO COACHING.
FOR...
OK, A LITTLE COACHING.
JUSTICE.
JUSTICE.
AND?
(Kevin)
BEVERLY.
SHE'S PASSING.
AND LIBERTY--
SHE'S DOING GREAT.
OK, WAIT,
NOW THE BREATHALYZER TEST.
BEVERLY!
GOD DAMN YOU.
MMM.
SOBER AS A JUDGE.
HEY, MAN.
IF YOU DON'T--
HEY, YOU DON'T
TOUCH MY BROTHER.
[all clamoring]
IT'S OK, BRIAN.
DON'T TOUCH--
BEVERLY, GET IN THE CAR.
YEAH, WELL, JUST REMEMBER
ONE THING. DON'T COME TO ME FOR A JOB.
I WOULDN'T COME TO YOU
FOR A BLOWJOB.
BYE.
BYE, BEVERLY.
YOU KNOW
THE GREAT THING ABOUT THIS TOWN?
WHAT?
THERE'S ALWAYS
SOMETHING TO DO.
I'M GOING HOME.
[Duncan laughing]
(Kit)
MCDERMOTTVILLE!
YEAH.
I LIKE IT.
IT WORKS FOR ME.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HOTHEAD?
HUH?
DRINKING, TAKING DOPE,
HARASSING INNOCENT PEOPLE?
I AM SHOCKED AT
YOUR BEHAVIOR.
AND TO THINK YOU WANTED ME,
AN IMPRESSIONABLE YOUTH--
SHUT UP.
THANK HEAVENS I CURLED UP
WITH A GOOD BOOK INSTEAD.
(Jake)
DON'T YOU EVER SHUT UP?
JUST SAY THE WORD.
I CAN'T GET IN A WORD
TO SAY THE WORD.
GOSH, POP,
I DIDN'T MEAN NO HARM.
I GOTTA GET TO WORK.
UH, HOLD IT.
[clears throat]
I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
HAS ANY OF YOU EVER
SEEN ME EAT AN EGG?
WELL, HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN YOUR MOTHER
SERVE ME AN EGG
FOR BREAKFAST?
I'LL ANSWER FOR YOU. NO.
NEVER.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?
HAS ANYBODY
EVER ASKED YOURSELF
WHY YOUR OLD MAN
DOESN'T EAT EGGS?
BECAUSE THEY COME
FROM CHICKENS.
AND IF THERE'S ONE THING
I HATE MORE THAN EGGS, IT IS CHICKENS.
FOR 25 YEARS,
I'VE SOLD CHICKENS.
MY WHOLE LIFE,
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, HAS BEEN ABOUT CHICKENS.
AND I HATE 'EM!
THEY'RE FILTHY.
THEY'RE STUPID.
THEY'RE RATS WITH
A GOOD REPUTATION.
WELL, I'M DONE.
NOW HERE'S ANOTHER QUESTION
YOU MIGHT ASK YOURSELF:
"WHY WOULD YOUR OLD
MAN SPEND HIS LIFE SELLING SOMETHING HE HATED?"
BECAUSE I HAD TO!
I HAD TO MAKE A LIVING.
I HAD A FAMILY TO SUPPORT.
YOU BOYS ARE GROWN.
THE LAST ONE'S OUT OF SCHOOL.
AND I AM THROUGH
WITH CHICKENS.
I'VE HAD IT.
ALL THIS IS IN
THE WAY OF SAYING THAT, UH,
I'VE SOLD THE BUSINESS.
WE'RE CLOSED.
THAT'S IT.
IT'S OVER.
I GOT AN OFFER ON THE LAND.
THERE'S LOTS OF
INTEREST IN THIS TOWN NOW, UH,
WITH THE, UH, LAKE AND
MOUNTAINS AND SO FORTH.
IT'S GROWING.
AND THOSE NEW
WHAT-DO-YOU-CALL-THEMS
ARE GOING UP OUT
THERE ON LAKE SHORE DRIVE. WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM?
CONDOS?
THE TIME WAS RIPE.
I GOT A GOOD PRICE.
I DON'T REGRET IT.
JUST LIKE THAT?
YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT.
NO WARNINGS?
NO DISCUSSIONS? NOTHING?
I DISCUSSED IT
WITH YOUR MOTHER.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT US?
I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO.
DON'T WE COUNT?
WE PUT OUR WHOLE LIVES INTO
THAT BUSINESS, TOO, YOU KNOW.
AND TODAY IT'S:
"HEY, KIDS, BY THE WAY,
FUCK YOU, WE'RE CLOSED."
NOW, WE HAVE
RULES ABOUT THAT WORD.
WE DON'T HAVE RULES.
YOU JUST FUCKED ALL THE RULES.
I EXPECT YOU TO BE SURPRISED.
WHAT ARE WE, HUH?
COME ON,
YOU'RE LOOKING AT US.
DO WE MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
ARE WE YOUR SONS?
NOW, LET'S JUST DISCUSS
THIS CALMLY, ALL RIGHT?
DISCUSS IT?
NOW YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT.
YOU'RE--YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE.
I HAD MY REASONS.
NO.
WHICH I'LL BE
HAPPY TO TELL YOU.
IF YOU WILL LISTEN.
NO. NO!
NOW LISTEN TO ME.
NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
ABOUT YOUR REASONS. YOUR REASONS ARE CRAP.
YOU DIDN'T TELL US.
YOU TOLD OTHER PEOPLE,
THOUGH, DIDN'T YOU?
FOR ALL I KNOW,
THIS WHOLE FUCKING TOWN KNOWS ABOUT IT.
BUT NOT US.
NO, NOT US.
WHAT ARE WE, HUH?
DO WE MEAN
ANYTHING TO YOU?
NO, WE'RE JUST
KIDS, RIGHT?
KIDS CAN'T BE TRUSTED.
AND IF YOUR OWN FATHER
CAN'T TRUST YOU, THEN WHO THE HELL CAN?
SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN FOR 2 MINUTES.
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO DO NOW, HUH?
I HOPE YOU GOT A PLAN, DAD,
BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON'T.
I'M DEPENDING ON YOU
FOR THOSE ANSWERS,
BECAUSE I'M JUST A KID, DAD.
AND THAT'S WHAT
DADDIES ARE FOR,
TO PROVIDE!
(Eileen)
DON'T MOVE. LET ME CLEAN IT UP.
WAIT A SECOND.
I THINK HE TOOK THAT WELL.
(Jake)
DON'T BOTHER.
YOU REALLY DON'T WANT--
PLEASE.
GO CHANGE. GO ON.
PLEASE, HONEY.
YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE
A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD
AND FOOD TO EAT.
I PROMISE YOU THAT.
I WILL PROVIDE.
IS IT...
IS IT JUST 'CAUSE
THE FIGURES ARE A LITTLE DOWN?
I JUST DON'T WANT TO DIE
SELLING CHICKENS.
WHO'S DYING?
(Eileen)
NOBODY'S DYING.
NO, IT'S JUST
A BAD JOKE, SON.
I WANNA BE FISHING
WHEN I DIE.
OR CLIMBING
A MOUNTAIN SOMEWHERE, OR EXPLORING SOMETHING.
AND IF YOU BOYS
CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT,
THEN I'M SORRY.
NO, I'M NOT SORRY.
IT WAS MY DECISION,
AND I MADE IT.
NEVER MIND.
[seagulls cawing]
(workman #1)
HEY, ASK HIM TO CHECK THE PLANS.
BRING OVER THE PLANS.
(workman #2)
HUH?
[men talking]
WHO DO I TALK TO
ABOUT A JOB?
SEE THE BOSS.
[men continue talking]
RALPH.
JUST A SEC.
FUCK.
[phone ringing]
GIVE ME 30 SECONDS, GUYS.
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
WOW.
WE PUT IN A BID
FOR THE RESTAURANT
THEY'RE GONNA
BUILD ON YOUR LAND.
WE CAME IN TOO HIGH.
THEY'RE PUTTING
IN A PIECE OF JUNK.
WHEN I HIRE SOMEONE,
MR. MCDERMOTT,
I NEED TO KNOW THEY'RE GONNA
BE EASY TO WORK WITH.
THEY DON'T NEED
TO BE COMICS.
IT DOESN'T GET
THE JOB DONE ANY FASTER.
THEY NEED TO SHOW UP
FOR WORK ON TIME, STRAIGHT, AND SOBER.
IF THEY RESPECT ME,
I RESPECT THEM.
[exhales]
NOW, WE DON'T KNOW
EACH OTHER VERY WELL.
WE'RE ACQUAINTED.
WE'VE MET ON
SOCIAL OCCASIONS.
BUT MY IMPRESSION IS
THAT YOU ARE A SMART-ASS,
A TROUBLEMAKER,
AND A POTHEAD.
YOU THINK
YOU'RE REAL TOUGH.
YOU LIKE TO
INTIMIDATE PEOPLE. YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE.
YOU DON'T RESPECT ME.
IN FACT, I DON'T THINK
YOU RESPECT YOURSELF.
IN SHORT, MR. MCDERMOTT,
I THINK YOU'RE
A SELF-CENTERED, JUVENILE PRICK.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
SO, WHEN DO I START?
[snickers]
OH, SHIT.
THAT WAS GREAT.
THAT WAS GREAT.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS.
THIS WAS GREAT.
IT WENT DOWN THE STAIRS, AND HE JUMPED OVER IT.
(Duncan)
DID YOU SEE WHAT HE DID? HE JUMPED OVER IT.
(Eileen)
I HEARD.
BRIAN, YOU SHOULD
HAVE SEEN IT.
(Eileen)
BRIAN'S LEAVING. WOULD YOU GO TALK TO HIM?
GO TALK TO HIM.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
BRIAN.
BRIAN.
LOOK, IF YOU HAVE
TO LEAVE HOME,
LET'S DO IT ON GOOD TERMS.
YOUR MOTHER IS UPSET.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SET
SOME OF THIS STUFF DOWN,
AND WE'LL GO
IN THE TV ROOM,
AND WE'LL CLOSE THE DOOR,
AND WE'LL HAVE IT OUT?
YOU LIVE IN YOUR
OWN WORLD, DAD.
I DON'T HAVE
TIME TO WASTE.
(male host)
MOST OF THE EASTERN BOUNDARY OF THIS STATE
IS FORMED BY
THE SAVANNAH RIVER.
PAM?
(Pam)
WHAT IS "GEORGIA"?
(show host)
THAT'S RIGHT.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US
YOU WERE SELLING, DAD?
WE LOOKED STUPID.
IT JUST WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN SO BAD IF YOU'D TOLD US.
THAT'S ALL.
[TV continues]
YOU WOULD HAVE
TALKED ME OUT OF IT.
NOT YOU, BUT BRIAN.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT
HE WOULD HAVE SAID.
"JUST RETIRE,
AND WE'LL RUN THE BUSINESS."
WELL, I COULDN'T DO THAT.
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY.
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO
TAKE MY WORD FOR IT THAT I DID THE RIGHT THING.
SHALL WE VIEW THE BODY?
GUESS NOT.
DID YOU KNOW DENNY STOCKTON
IS LOOKING
FOR SOMEBODY TO
HELP HIM AT THE STORE?
YEAH?
HMM, IF EITHER OF
YOU IS INTERESTED.
REALLY?
[clearing throat]
MAYBE I'LL CHECK IT OUT.
YOU'RE LATE, BUSTER,
BIG-TIME.
BURLEY'S PRETTY
TICKED OFF RIGHT NOW.
I KNOW.
MCDERMOTT, YOU'RE LATE.
YEAH, I KNOW,
I GOT HUNG UP--
I DON'T TOLERATE LATENESS.
YOU'RE FIRED.
OK, WELL, I'M JUST GONNA
FINISH OUT TODAY THEN.
DON'T BOTHER.
PETE'S MAKING OUT YOUR PAYCHECK.
YOU GOT A MAN ON VACATION.
I'LL JUST WORK FOR HIM.
MCDERMOTT,
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?
(Kevin)
YOU'RE FIRED!
[cash register rings]
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
SEE YOU SOON.
HI.
HI.
HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD.
IT'S EMBARRASSING,
BUT I--I NEED THEM.
YEAH.
[groans]
[cash register rings]
$45.15.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
UM, YOU WANNA GO
RUNNING LATER, MAYBE?
YEAH, WHAT TIME?
I THINK I GET OFF
AT 6:00, RIGHT? 6:00?
YEAH. IF YOU'RE FREE.
OK. I'LL MEET YOU
ON THE TRAIL.
GREAT.
YOU LOOK GOOD IN A UNIFORM.
THANKS.
MCDERMOTT?
GOOD NIGHT.
(worker)
SEE YOU, PAL.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
SEE YOU TOMORROW, HUH?
[crickets chirping]
WELL--
[footsteps approaching]
BUT--
WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME...
STAN, NOW LISTEN,
TIMES HAVE CHANGED,
AND YOU CAN'T DO
ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
YEAH, WELL, WHAT?
WELL, NO.
UH, NO, I--I--I HAVE
ABSOLUTELY NO QUARREL WITH THAT.
NO, NOTHING,
NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST.
MY FEELING IS
WE SHOULD JUST OPEN OUR MINDS
TO LET PEOPLE INTO THIS TOWN
WHO COULD HELP US.
STAN, YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME.
NOW, I LOVE THIS TOWN.
AND I JUST WANT TO SEE IT
GROW AND EXPAND. SLOWLY, YES.
NO, I...
I'M NOT FOR RUSHING ANYTHING.
I'M PREPARED TO TAKE
EVERYTHING TOTALLY SLOWLY.
YOU KNOW MY POSITION ON THAT.
I'M PREPARED TO TAKE
A HARD LINE AGAINST ANYBODY GROWING DRUGS IN THIS TOWN.
YEAH. RIGHT.
UH-HUH.
OH, YES. OH, YES.
STAN, COULD I CALL YOU BACK?
I'VE JUST GOT
SOMETHING ON THE STOVE.
UH, ALL RIGHT,
I'LL JUST TAKE IT OFF.
[crow cawing]
I'LL SHOW YOU MINE,
IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS.
WHAT?
HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT?
YUP, YUP.
YUP.
[leaves rustling]
I'M ALREADY DRUNK.
NOT QUITE DRUNK ENOUGH,
SWEETHEART.
[people chattering]
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED?
(news announcer on TV)
...MUCH COLDER AIR WILL BE ENTERING
THE ANACONDA AREA TODAY...
WITH A FAMILY,
WITH KIDS, A FARM.
...READING AS MUCH AS
20 DEGREES ABOVE NORMAL...
SUNDAY DINNERS.
CAN I PLOW IN HEELS?
NO.
[Charlie whooping]
SHE DID IT.
ON THE HOUSE, YOUR HONOR.
[all chattering]
WHAT?
YEAH.
(announcer)
THE TOWN OF RIDGEWAY VOTED OUT THE OLD AND VOTED IN THE NEW.
NANCY TRAINER,
A LOCAL REALTOR, WON AN UPSET VICTORY
OVER INCUMBENT MAYOR,
FORMAN FLEMING...
WHO HAD HELD OFFICE
FOR THE PAST 12 YEARS.
CHARLIE, YOU GOT
ANYTHING REAL TO DRINK?
I GOT SOME MILLER.
I THINK I'D LIKE TO GO.
[phone ringing]
(Nancy)
HELLO? TOO LATE.
[laughs]
[exhales deeply]
BRIAN, WOULD YOU MIND
IF I SENT YOU HOME TONIGHT?
I MEAN, THIS DAY HAS BEEN,
WELL, YOU CAN IMAGINE.
I AM JUST EXHAUSTED.
THAT FAST, HUH?
MY BRAIN IS FRIED.
NOW YOU'RE GONNA
STRING ME ALONG AND LET ME DOWN EASY, HUH?
IT'S JUST FOR TONIGHT.
BRIAN, PLEASE.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
DUMP ME,
BUT DON'T BULLSHIT ME.
I DIDN'T KNOW
I COULD ACTUALLY WIN.
I THOUGHT IT WAS
JUST A DRY RUN.
OR YOU WOULD'VE
DUMPED ME LONG AGO?
IT WOULDN'T LOOK
GOOD FOR THE MAYOR
TO BE SEEN OUT
ROBBING THE CRADLE.
LOOK, WE'RE BOTH TIRED.
I'M NOT.
WE'RE NOT
THINKING STRAIGHT.
I AM.
WE BOTH KNEW
THIS WOULDN'T LAST.
I DIDN'T.
[phone ringing]
[Kit whistling]
HEY, KITRICK?
YEAH?
BRING YOUR MOM
OVER TO THE BUFFALO.
LET HER SIT IN
WITH US.
I JUST DON'T
THINK SHE'D GO, BOSS.
KIDNAP HER.
[cash register rings]
♪ IT'S 2 O'CLOCK
AND IT'S SHUTDOWN TIME ♪
♪ EVERYBODY'S MOVIN' OUT
THE DOOR ♪
♪ MY BABY ASKED ME, EASY,
YOUR PLACE OR MINE ♪
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOUR MOTHER AND I CAN'T JUST WAIT IN THE CAR.
ALONE?
THE TWO OF YOU IN A CAR?
NO. COME ON,
LET'S GO. SIT DOWN.
(Jake)
I HATE THIS MUSIC.
IT WILL TAKE 2 SECONDS,
DAD. 2 SECONDS.
I SWEAR ON
DUNCAN'S LIFE.
(Kit)
PREPARE TO DIE.
SO CAN WE GET A COUPLE
OF DRINKS IN HERE?
YOU WANT THEM
WHILE WE'RE WAITING?
♪ A REAL BIG LOVE ♪
WHAT'S GOING ON?
♪ IN A SMALL TOWN ♪
THANK YOU,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WE'RE GLAD YOU ARE ALL
HAVING A GOOD TIME TONIGHT
BECAUSE WE HAVE
A SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU.
A YOUNG LADY'S HERE
THAT USED TO SING WITH US
BACK IN OUR HIGH-SCHOOL BAND.
(man)
The Hi-Lows.
MAYBE WE CAN
PERSUADE HER TO GET UP AND SING A SONG WITH US.
HOW ABOUT IT, EILEEN?
WHAT'S THAT?
ONE SONG, DAD.
DAD, ONE SONG.
HONEY, I CAN'T.
COME ON, MOM,
YOU GOT TO.
(Denny)
COME ON, EILEEN.
COME ON.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
EILEEN MCDERMOTT.
[all cheering]
(Kit)
GO, MOM.
[all cheering]
[Eileen discussing]
♪[piano solo playing]
♪ SONGS WERE MADE TO SING ♪
♪ WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪
♪ EVERY DAY IS SPRING ♪
♪ WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪
♪ NONE CAN REFUSE ♪
♪ TIME FLIES SO FAST ♪
♪ TOO DEAR TO LOSE ♪
♪ AND TOO SWEET ♪
♪ TO LAST ♪
♪ THOUGH IT MAY BE JUST ♪
♪ FOR TODAY ♪
♪ SHARE OUR LOVE ♪
♪ WE MUST ♪
♪ WHILE WE MAY ♪
♪ SO BLUE SKIES ♪
♪ A SWEET SURPRISE ♪
♪ SHINES BEFORE OUR EYES ♪
♪ WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪
♪ SO BLUE SKIES ♪
♪ SHINE BEFORE OUR EYES ♪
♪ WHILE WE'RE YOUNG ♪
LISTEN.
LISTEN, PAY ATTENTION. PAY ATTENTION.
(Eileen)
OK. I'VE WRITTEN OUT 2 WEEKS OF MENUS FOR YOU
AND, UM, I'VE MARKED IT WHEN
YOU HAVE TO TAKE SOMETHING OUT OF THE FREEZER.
LIKE, UH,
WEDNESDAY, THE 5TH
DEFROST RUMP ROAST, OK?
SEE, AND, UH,
THERE'S YOUR RUMP ROAST.
IT'S--IT'S IN
THE SILVER FOIL.
AND OVER HERE,
DOWN HERE IN THIS COLUMN,
I'VE WRITTEN THE PAGE NUMBER,
IN THE COOKBOOK,
OF THE RECIPE
OF THE RUMP ROAST.
RIGHT? OK.
AND, UH,
THIS IS YOUR COOKBOOK.
AND, UH, THAT'S IT.
[honking]
[chuckling]
(Eileen)
GUYS, TAKE CARE. WE'LL CALL YOU.
BE GOOD, OK?
GOOD-BYE.
(Jake)
THANKS.
HAVE A GOOD TRIP.
ALL RIGHT.
OK. DRIVE SAFELY.
OK. BYE.
[cans rattling]
BYE.
[grumbling]
I FIRED YOU.
I INSULTED YOU.
I GAVE YOU
THE WORST JOBS THAT I HAD.
I TOLD YOU I NEVER WANNA
SEE YOUR UGLY FACE AROUND HERE AGAIN.
AND YOU'RE STILL HERE.
YOU ARE THE SLOWEST GUY
AT TAKING A HINT
THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.
YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.
I DON'T LIKE IT,
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
YOU'RE PROMOTED.
YEAH?
YEAH. NOW GET OUT
OF HERE.
[phone ringing]
(man #1)
WAY TO GO.
(man #2)
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
[truck horn blaring]
[fly buzzing]
[humming]
THIS COULD BE THE CURE
FOR CANCER.
(Kit)
OH, MAN.
[jar falling]
OH, HI.
YOU'RE BACK.
HI, MY FOOT.
WHAT'VE YOU--WHAT'VE YOU
DONE TO MY KITCHEN?
I LEAVE YOU ALONE
FOR 2 SECONDS AND YOU MAKE A MESS OF EVERYTHING.
IT'S GONNA TAKE ME
ALL DAY LONG
TO CLEAN THIS UP.
YEAH. BUT
WE WERE GONNA--
OH, YOU MAKE ME SICK!
I DON'T WANNA...
GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
YOU DISGUST ME,
BOTH OF YOU.
(Eileen)
GET BACK IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS UP!
[door slamming]
BUT THE BOTTOM OF THE 4TH
WAS A NIGHTMARE
AND AT THE HALF-INNING,
A COMEBACK WE'LL NEVER FORGET.
CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE, DAD?
MM-HMM.
I'M REALLY GLAD YOU SOLD
THE CHICKEN BUSINESS.
IT'S FORCED ME
TO TAKE STOCK OF MY LIFE
AND--AND MAKE SOME PLANS
FOR MY FUTURE.
DAD?
[TV continues]
I HAVE DECIDED
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
I'D LIKE
TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.
MM-HMM.
I'M GONNA BE A BUM.
SLEEP IN DOORWAYS,
BUY HALF-PINTS,
DRINK FROM A PAPER BAG,
BEG FROM PEOPLE
ON THE STREET.
(Duncan)
DAD?
(Jake)
HMM.
DON'T WORRY, DAD.
I'LL MAKE YOU PROUD.
GOOD.
[church bells ringing]
[honking]
HEY, BUCKO.
HEY.
I LIKE WHAT THEY'VE DONE.
IT'S SIMPLE,
SPARE, IT'S IN GOOD TASTE.
[train horn blowing]
[birds chirping]
WHAT'S UP AT HOME?
OH, IT'S ACTION-PACKED.
HOW'S DAD DOING?
FOR A CORPSE?
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
BRIAN,
IF YOU WANNA KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON AT HOME,
STOP OVER SOMETIME.
MOM'S GOT A CANDLE
IN THE WINDOW FOR YOU.
"THE BOY WHO WOULDN'T
SPEAK TO HIS FATHER" IS A GOOD BIT.
YOU DO IT REALLY WELL.
BUT THE PRODIGAL SON
IS GOOD, TOO.
CHECK IT OUT.
I CAN'T SPEAK
FOR THE OTHERS,
BUT I WOULDN'T MIND
SEEING YOUR STUPID FACE ONCE IN A WHILE.
[people chattering]
[whistle blowing]
(run announcer)
ONE MINUTE UNTIL RACE TIME.
WILL THE PEOPLE THAT
ARE STANDING RIGHT DIRECTLY
IN FRONT OF THE STARTING LINE
PLEASE MOVE OUT OF THE AREA?
ALL RIGHT, JUDGE GERHARDT
WILL FIRE THE GUN
IN 20 SECONDS.
RUNNERS, TAKE YOUR MARKS.
MY FEET HAVE WINGS.
READY?
I'M NOT GONNA RUN,
I'M GONNA FLY.
SET.
GO!
(Jake)
I DON'T SEE HIM.
GO.
(male spectator)
ALL RIGHT, COME ON!
(female spectator)
GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!
♪ SOMETIMES THE TIMES GO BY
IN A BLAZE ♪
♪ AND SO MANY THINGS
I STILL WANNA TRY ♪
WANT SOME WATER?
♪ FEEL LIKE
I'M LOSING MY DIRECTION ♪
(girl)
GET GOING! GET GOING!
♪ I JUST CAN'T CRY ♪
♪ THE MORE THINGS CHANGE ♪
♪ THE MORE THEY
STAY THE SAME ♪
♪ LIFE GOES ON ♪
♪ THE NAMES WILL ALL REMAIN ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME ♪
(run announcer)
WITH ONE KILOMETER LEFT IN THE RACE,
ED GASTON OUT IN THE LEAD,
WITH VETERANS KARL FAIRMONT
WHO ARE, RIGHT NOW,
AHEAD OF THE COMPETITION, KIT MCDERMOTT.
[exclaims]
AND MCDERMOTT,
IN A SUDDEN BURST OF SPEED,
HAS PUSHED AHEAD
OF A BEWILDERED FAIRMONT.
[Eileen exclaiming]
[Eileen laughing]
GO!
[gasps]
(run announcer)
IT'S GEORGE TAYLOR IN FIRST PLACE,
CLOSE BEHIND
IS ED GASTON IN SECOND,
AND THE UPSET WINNER
OF THE DAY,
KIT MCDERMOTT,
TAKES THIRD PLACE.
CONGRATULATIONS, SON.
YEAH!
[both exclaim]
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
THAT'S OUR KIT.
WHERE YOU GOING?
YOU'LL SEE.
(Beverly)
WHAT?
(Kit)
COME ON.
[laughing]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE A BUM, YOUNG.
I'M A WHAT?
A BUM.
YOU'RE NOTHING
BUT TROUBLE.
[imitating dog]
DON'T BARK
AT HER LIKE THAT.
I WASN'T BARKING
AT HER.
(Kit)
HI, MOM. YEAH.
YEAH. HOW ABOUT THAT?
HEY--HEY, DID DAD SEE IT?
HE DID? GOOD, GOOD.
HEY, THE REASON I'M CALLING
IS THAT DUNCAN'S CAR
BROKE DOWN
AND IT LOOKS LIKE
WE'LL BE STUCK HERE.
THEY CAN'T GET TO IT
TILL TOMORROW.
SO I'M-- SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO FIND PLACE TO STAY TONIGHT.
AND, UM, WE--WE'LL BE OK.
IT'S JUST--
NO, I DON'T WANNA BUG
AUNT MARIE AND UNCLE BILL.
TELL THEM
TO CALL MY PARENTS.
OH, YEAH. DO ME A FAVOR.
CALL THE YOUNGS
AND LET THEM KNOW
THAT BEVERLY'S OK AND, UM,
WE'LL GET HOME
AS SOON AS WE CAN.
OH, OK. OK, OK,
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
UM, BYE, MOM.
GREAT. YOU DID GREAT.
LET'S GO.
OOH, OH, MY.
[giggles]
HALF THE BOTTLE'S
ON THE FLOOR.
A TOAST.
A TOAST, UM,
TO WHAT?
LET ME THINK. TO, UM...
WE HAVE ALL NIGHT.
[inhales deeply]
TO THAT, THEN.
[exhales]
BEVERLY?
YOU ASLEEP?
I'M STILL MARRYING KEVIN.
I KNOW.
[both sighing]
I ALREADY PUT A DEPOSIT DOWN
ON THE CATERER.
UH-HUH.
I ALREADY GOT THE FLOWERS.
MOTHER BOUGHT
HER DRESS ALREADY.
I'M SURE SHE DID.
[gasps]
MY BROTHER GOT
HIS HAIR CUT.
UH-HUH.
MY AUNT ANN'S
COMING IN FROM WICHITA.
BEVERLY.
UH-HUH?
CAN WE TALK ABOUT
THIS LATER, MAYBE?
YEAH.
OK. OK.
[both moaning]
[gasping]
[grunting]
I WANT YOU THERE.
THE MODERN WOMAN
ALWAYS HAS HER LOVERS AT HER WEDDING.
[engine starts]
BRIAN?
(Brian)
WHAT?
YOU GOT A VISITOR, PAL.
SOME WOMAN.
OH...
HELLO.
[hammering]
HI.
BRIAN, I WANT YOU
TO COME HOME AND SEE YOUR FATHER.
YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT.
YOU'VE HURT HIS FEELINGS.
I HURT HIS?
THAT'S TYPICAL.
BUT YOU CAN'T IGNORE HIM
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
WHY NOT?
HE'S YOUR FATHER.
[Eileen sighing]
DINNER IS AT 5:00
ON SUNDAY.
I CAN'T. I'M BUSY.
GET UN-BUSY.
MOM, WHY DIDN'T HE COME?
WHAT?
WHY DIDN'T DAD COME?
HE DOESN'T GO OUT MUCH.
(Eileen)
DUNCAN, KIT, DINNER IN 5 MINUTES.
(Kit)
HEY, LOOK. DAD'S FINALLY GETTING RID OF ALL THAT JUNK.
HEY, DAD!
(Kit)
DAD.
(Kit)
DUNCAN, YOU BETTER...
DUNCAN, CALL
AN AMBULANCE. D-D-DUNCAN!
DAD! MA!
DAD? DAD?
DAD?
(Duncan)
NOT ME, DAD!
HELP!
(woman on P.A. system)
LAB 313 TO EMERGENCY. LAB 313 TO EMERGENCY.
(nurse)
SIR?
SIR, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
IN THERE.
SIR?
BRIAN?
BRIAN?
(woman on P.A. system)
Dr. Glass, call...
NO, NO. YOU'RE NOT
ALLOWED IN THERE.
YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED
IN THIS AREA.
AAH!
[groaning]
(woman on P.A. system)
DR. CLAIRWELL, PRE-NATAL UNIT.
DR. CLAIRWELL, PRE-NATAL UNIT.
[crying]
[crying]
(man)
I MEAN, SHE JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
[siren wailing]
AW, BRIAN, MAN,
YOU SHOULD SEE THIS PLACE.
THEY JUST...
COME ON, MOM.
LET'S GO HOME.
(woman on P.A. system)
DR. BLAIR, DR. BLAIR.
DR. JAAY HAMILTON,
DR. JAY HAMILTON.
[Eileen moans]
(woman on P.A. system)
DR. ALLGOOD, PLEASE REPORT TO EMERGENCY.
[Eileen crying]
[birds chirping]
[door knocking]
[whispering]
COME ON, MOM.
GIVE ME THE TIE.
[sniffing]
MOM, GIVE ME THAT.
MOM, GIVE ME THAT.
MOM, COME ON.
[bird squawking]
[church bells ringing]
[clucking]
CAN I LOOK NOW?
NOT YET.
PLEASE?
NO.
BRIAN,
THAT'S TOO MUCH.
BIRTHDAYS ARE ALWAYS
A BIG DEAL IN MY FAMILY.
OK.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SQUIRT.
[Demetri exclaiming]
[bicycle bell rings]
HEY, HEY,
NOT IN THE HOUSE.
(both)
♪ ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT ♪
♪ GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM ♪
♪ MERRILY, MERRILY,
MERRILY, MERRILY ♪
♪ LIFE IS BUT A DREAM ♪
♪ ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT ♪
(Brian)
♪ GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM ♪
♪ MERRILY, MERRILY,
MERRILY, MERRILY ♪
♪ LIFE IS BUT A DREAM ♪
IT'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW.
[van approaching]
$13,150?
MM-HMM.
MOM, I THINK YOU SHOULD START,
UH, SINGING AT THE BUFFALO.
REALLY? I DON'T--
REALLY.
EVERYONE LIKED YOU.
YOU WERE GREAT.
NO.
YOU WERE, UH, SEXY.
DON'T EVER TELL ANYONE
I SAID THAT.
SWEAR ON YOUR LIFE
THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL
ANYONE THAT I SAID THAT.
YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT SWEARING ANYTHING.
YOU...
HEY, KIT.
(Kit)
WHAT?
(Brian)
COME HERE.
GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.
ENCLOSED, YOU'LL FIND
A COMPLETE ACCOUNT
OF EVERY PENNY
YOU'VE LENT ME OVER THE YEARS.
YOU WILL ALSO FIND
LEGAL TENDER IN PAYMENT OF THE AFORESAID DEBTS
AND INTEREST AT
CURRENT BANK RATES.
BRIAN,
YOUR GENEROSITY
HAS ONLY BEEN EXCEEDED BY YOUR PATIENCE.
KIT, MY MAIN MAN,
I HOPE I DIDN'T CAUSE YOU
ANY UNDUE FINANCIAL HARDSHIP.
GENTLEMEN, GOOD DAY.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
ROB A BANK?
YOU ARE LOOKING
AT A NEW MAN.
OR AN ASSHOLE
IN THE MAKING.
[Kit chuckling]
[cars passing]
HEY, KIT?
YEAH.
CAN I TALK TO YOU?
SURE.
I WANT YOU
TO BE HONEST.
YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOUR BROTHERS WOULD SAY
IF THEY KNEW
I TOOK YOUR MOM OUT?
OUT?
WELL, NOT ON A DATE,
BUT OUT TO DINNER.
WELL, THAT'S A DATE,
ISN'T IT?
YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
[bell ringing]
WHY DON'T YOU ASK THEM?
THAT'S WHY I WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU.
I HEAR BRIAN'S
GOT A REAL TEMPER.
YEAH.
SEE, HERE'S THE DEAL, KIT.
YOUR MOM AND I
GO BACK A LONG WAY.
ALL THE WAY TO HIGH SCHOOL.
AND YOU KNOW
YOUR DAD I WERE FRIENDS.
I'VE GOT ALL
THE RESPECT IN THE WORLD.
BUT LOOKING DOWN
THE ROAD A LITTLE,
IF THINGS COULD TURN OUT
LIKE YOU WOULD HOPE,
OR LIKE I WOULD HOPE,
IT MIGHT BE NICE TO BE
A PART OF THE FAMILY.
[exclaims]
YEAH.
[cash register rings]
"HUMAN SEXUALITY,"
THAT'S HEALTHY.
"DRUGS, ALCOHOL
AND TOBACCO ABUSE," THAT'S 3 CREDITS.
THAT'S ONE YOU'D PASS.
I THINK SO.
HERE, HONEY.
BETH'S GONNA
COOK ME DINNER.
ONE FOR THE ROAD?
THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT
I CAME UP WITH:
"INTERESTS: EATING,
SLEEPING, AND SEX.
"GOALS: TO BE TALLER."
[Eileen chuckling]
BABY BROTHER HERE
IS APPLYING FOR COLLEGE.
(Duncan)
YEAH, WELL, SOMEBODY BETTER AMOUNT
TO SOMETHING IN THIS FAMILY.
I MEAN, MY GOD.
YOU PUSH A BROOM,
YOU SLING CEMENT,
OUR DEAR MOTHER WORKS IN A SALOON.
SOMEBODY HAS GOT TO LIFT
THE MCDERMOTT NAME OUT OF THE MUD.
(Brian)
AND YOU'RE JUST THE GUY TO DO IT?
(Duncan)
MM-HMM.
CONGRATULATIONS.
WHO ARE YOU
CONGRATULATING?
YOU.
TO WHAT DO I OWE
THIS HONOR?
AREN'T YOU
SUPPOSED TO CONGRATULATE THE BRIDE?
I, UH, I FORGET
THE RULES ON THIS ONE.
YOU SEE, SHE'S GETTING
MARRIED TO MY BOSS.
SEE, I'LL BE WORKING
FOR MY NEW DAD
JUST LIKE I WORKED
FOR MY OLD DAD.
KIT.
WERE YOU GONNA TELL US?
WAIT A MINUTE.
HE JUST TOOK ME OUT TO DINNER.
WHAT DID YOU TELL US?
I ASKED HIM FOR A JOB.
BUT WE HAVE TO FIND
THAT OUT THE HARD WAY
JUST LIKE WE FIND OUT
EVERYTHING ELSE AROUND HERE.
THERE'S NOTHING
TO FIND OUT.
ARE YOU SLEEPING
WITH HIM?
KIT.
I GUESS THAT'S
A STUPID QUESTION.
WHAT I REALLY WANNA KNOW...
W-WHAT WE REALLY WANNA KNOW
IS HOW LONG
YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM.
I BET YOU WERE SLEEPING
WITH HIM BEFORE DAD DIED, TOO.
I GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU, MOM.
I'VE GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU.
YOU PULLED
A FAST ONE THIS TIME.
THAT'S THE LAST FOOD
I WILL EVER MAKE YOU.
SO EAT IT!
[sighs]
(Kit)
WHAT?
WHAT?
(Beverly)
KIT?
THOSE ARE FUNNY CLOTHES
TO RUN IN.
I'M GOING TO TELL HIM.
TELL?
KEVIN.
I'M GOING OVER
THERE RIGHT NOW.
I THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW.
OH.
WHY?
YOU DON'T THINK I SHOULD?
NO, I DON'T.
IT MAY SHOCK YOU,
BUT I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HIM.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO DO.
I'M GOING CRAZY.
[sighs]
YOU CAN'T-- YOU CAN'T
GO THROUGH WITH THIS, BEVERLY. I GOTTA STOP THIS.
I AM MARRYING KEVIN.
I NEVER PRETENDED I WASN'T.
THEN WHAT WAS THAT?
WAS THAT JUST WARMING UP
FOR THE WEDDING NIGHT?
WAS THAT REHEARSAL?
WAS THAT PRACTICE?
NO.
THEN WHAT WAS IT?
THAT WAS LOVE.
DON'T GET ALL CRAZY ON ME.
THAT WAS LOVE.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I'LL DO IT.
DO YOU WANT ME TO PROPOSE?
DO YOU WANT ME ON MY KNEES?
KIT!
I NEED SOMEONE THAT I CAN...
THAT I CAN LEAN ON.
THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM.
HE CAN DO THAT FOR ME.
I CAN, TOO.
YOU'RE JUST A BOY.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE
CARE OF YOURSELF.
THIS ISN'T SAD.
IT WON'T BE SAD.
[sighs]
I JUST...
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.
HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WARD, I'M A LITTLE WORRIED
ABOUT THE BEAVER.
[paper rustling]
(Brian)
THERE HE IS. SLOW DOWN. PULL UP NEXT TO HIM.
(Brian)
KIT!
HEY, LOBOTOMY-BRAIN,
YOU GOT A MINUTE?
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S YOUR AILMENT, BOY?
HEY!
HEY!
(Brian)
MAN, WHAT IS HE DOING?
DUNCAN, DON'T
RUN HIM OVER.
KIT!
(Duncan)
HOLD ON.
(Brian)
DUNCAN, WHAT ARE YOU... WHERE ARE YOU...
(both)
HEY! HEY, KIT!
(Brian)
DUNCAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
(Brian)
SEE THE TREES, DUNCAN?
DUNCAN, YOU...
HOLY SHIT.
[Duncan screaming]
(Brian)
WATCH THE TREES, DUNC.
HOLY SHIT!
(Brian)
STOP! STOP!
(Brian)
KIT!
GO AWAY!
JESUS.
HEY, HOLD IT.
NO!
(Duncan)
OH, FUCK!
(Brian)
DUNCAN!
(Kit)
DUNCAN!
[gasping]
[coughing]
[all gasping]
[Duncan laughing]
(Duncan)
OH, THAT WAS GREAT.
OH, THAT WAS COOL.
LET'S DO THAT AGAIN, HUH?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU STUPID SHIT.
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO, KILL US?
WHY THE HELL
DIDN'T YOU STOP?
WHY THE HELL
DIDN'T HE STOP?
HE KNEW
THE CLIFF WAS THERE, TOO.
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D BE STUPID ENOUGH TO DRIVE OVER IT, DICK.
WHY DON'T YOU GROW UP?
HEY, MAN...
WHO YOU TALKING TO?
FUCK YOU.
LOOK, NOBODY
GOT HURT, RIGHT?
YOU EVER TALK TO MY
MOTHER THAT WAY AGAIN, I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS.
(Duncan)
MELLOW OUT.
AT LEAST I TALKED TO HER.
YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO DAD.
FUCK YOU.
HE LOVED HER. FUCK YOU FROM YOU.
(Duncan)
STOP IT, SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET--
DUNCAN, GET UP.
(Brian)
HE'S OUT COLD.
HE'S DEAD.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
(Brian)
I DON'T KNOW.
DROWN HIM?
NO.
BURY HIM?
NO.
NAH.
TICKLE HIM.
TICKLE HIM.
NO!
[laughing]
PINK BELLY.
NO! NO! NO! NO!
[echoing]
WE ARE ASSHOLES!
WE'RE ASSHOLES!
WE'RE ASSHOLES!
(Kit)
WE'RE ASSHOLES!
(Duncan)
WE'RE ASSHOLES!
(Kit)
KEVIN?
I JUST WANTED TO
SAY CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE A VERY LUCKY MAN.
WELL, THANKS.
YOU BET.
HEY, CAN I BORROW YOUR
WIFE FOR A MOMENT?
TAKE HER.
THANK YOU, I ALREADY DID.
KIT.
OH, OH, I FORGOT TO
SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
WHAT?
IT'S THE BIG ONE.
NEW YORK CITY MARATHON.
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M UP TO IT,
BUT I'M GONNA TRY.
YOU ARE.
YOU'LL PROBABLY WIN.
NAH, I'M NOT GONNA WIN,
BUT I WILL SEE NEW YORK, RIGHT?
♪[saxophone playing]
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
HEY, PAL.
HI.
(Brian)
YOU WANNA DANCE?
(Demetri)
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
(Brian)
YEAH, THERE YOU GO.
(male singer)
♪ OH, BABY, YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME ♪
♪ WITH A LOVE
THAT'S ALWAYS TRUE ♪
(Beth)
HI.
HI.
DID YOU FIND MY PARTNER?
[giggling]
♪ A GIRL LIKE YOU
IS HARD TO FIND ♪
♪ I'LL SEARCH
MY WHOLE LIFE THROUGH ♪
♪ LOVIN' YOU
IS A PIECE OF CAKE ♪
♪ AND I'M LOOKING
FORWARD TO YOU ♪
♪ OH, EVERY SINGLE
THING I DO ♪
LUCILLE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
IN A LONG TIME.
YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT ERECTION OF YOURS.
ARE YOU, UM, DOING
ANYTHING WITH IT, SAY AROUND 11:00 TONIGHT?
[music continues playing]
YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?
BRING IT BY.
WHAT'S UP, BUCKO?
I'M GONNA BE A MAN.
[both laughing]
PRETTY EMOTIONAL FAMILY.
[people chattering]
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
NOTHING.
(Denny and Eileen)
♪ FOR IT WON'T BE LONG ♪
♪ 'TIL I'M GONNA NEED ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON ♪
(Denny)
♪ JUST CALL ON ME, BROTHER, WHEN YOU NEED A FRIEND ♪
(all)
♪ WE ALL NEED SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON ♪
♪ I JUST MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM
THAT YOU'LL UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ WE ALL NEED SOMEBODY
TO LEAN ON ♪
♪ LEAN ON ME ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE NOT STRONG ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND ♪
♪ I'LL HELP YOU CARRY ON ♪
♪ FOR IT WON'T BE LONG ♪
♪ 'TIL I'M GONNA NEED ♪
I'M SORRY, MOM.
I KNOW.
(Duncan)
WHOO!
(Brian)
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY, BABY.
(Duncan)
I THINK YOU SHOULD MARRY BETH.
GOD HELP ME,
IF THE DAY EVER COMES
WHEN I HAVE TO
TAKE YOUR ADVICE.
THAT KID NEEDS A FATHER.
NO, THAT KID
NEEDS UNCLES.
WELL, ONE THING'S FOR SURE.
YOU CAN'T LIVE TOGETHER.
I MEAN, THIS IS A SMALL TOWN.
NOT FOR LONG.
THERE ARE NO SMALL TOWNS,
JUST SMALL PEOPLE.
AND WE ARE NOT SMALL PEOPLE.
DUNCAN IS.
FUCK YOU.
WE'RE GIANTS.
LEGENDS
IN OUR OWN MINDS.
YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT...
UH-OH.
DUNCAN'S THINKING.
..."FUCK YOU"
ISN'T SUCH A BAD THING TO SAY TO SOMEBODY.
I MEAN,
IT'S KIND OF SWEET.
IT'S LIKE
SAYING "I LOVE YOU," ONLY IT'S MORE HIP.
DON'T YOU
EVER SHUT UP?
NO, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
THIS IS SERIOUS.
I MEAN, HALF OF THE WORLD
IS GOING AROUND
SAYING SOMETHING
TO THE OTHER HALF,
AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW
IT'S A COMPLIMENT.
I MEAN, MY GOD,
THIS IS A LINGUISTIC
BREAKTHROUGH.
DANGER. PHILOSOPHER
CROSSING OVER HERE.
WHAT A NIGHT.
THEY'LL TALK ABOUT THIS
FOR YEARS TO COME.
IT'LL CHANGE THE WAY
THE WORLD THINKS.
LIKE THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY
OR THE DISCOVERY OF GRAVITY.
FUCK YOU
IS GOOD.
BRIAN, FUCK YOU.
KIT, FUCK YOU, TOO.
YEAH. ELOQUENTLY PUT
ANYWAY, RIGHT?
YES, INDEED.
I'LL DRINK
TO THAT.
I THINK
I WILL AS WELL.
YOU WALK AROUND
IN A FOG MOST OF THE TIME
(Duncan)
AND THEN SUDDENLY ONE NIGHT, IT'S ALL CLEAR.
LIFE HAS MEANING,
AFTER ALL.
(Kit)
AND THE NIGHT IS YOUNG.
(Brian)
McDERMOTTVILLE.
[Duncan sighing]
YEAH.