Staycation (2018) - full transcript

Everyone get out!

Welcome to Camp Camp Land!

Excuse me!

The itinerary says we are
staying at The Peninsula Hotel.

This is the Peninsula of Tin Shui Wai.

It's surrounded by water on all three sides

so it's a peninsula.

To the left we have single rooms,
to the right, we have double.

And the presidential suite is in the back.

So there is no

difference between a single
room and a presidential suite?



Of course there is.

You get a bucket to do your
business in the presidential suite.

You've tricked us here.

We aren't staying here.
Let's get out of here!

You won't see any cars

within a 20 kilometre radius.

There's only one presidential suite left.

I want it.

For 800 bucks more.

Deal!

Enjoy!

After I made enough money, I'll buy a house

get a wife and a dog.

Wee wee next to the lake



so I don't have to be stuck with the rest.

Who is it?

Who's sneaking around?

Who is it?

Who is it?

It's better to be busy
than waiting for business.

Good morning.

Next, please.

Here.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.

It will dry quickly.

Hi sir,

would you like to go to
Africa, Japan or Korea?

Europe is pretty good too. We
have some promotions for Europe.

Camp Camp Island in Tin
Shui Wai for four please.

You can book that online.

I'm a safe person. I'd
like it in black and white.

It's better to be traditional.

Actually, my wife and I

are celebrating our 15th anniversary.

I haven't gone on a
holiday with her so long.

I want to give her a surprise.

15 years ago,

I asked her to marry me in that treehouse.

We began our new chapter right there.

So you want to compensate

your family by taking them

to the campsite in Tin Shiu Wai?

Love is boundless.

Good morning, Brother Fai.
Good morning, Paul.

Good morning, Brother Fai.
Good morning, Ann.

Good morning, Brother Fai.
Good morning, John.

Good morning, Brother Fai.
Good morning, Wendy.

Good morning, Brother Fai.

Good morning...

I'm sorry, Brother Fai.

It's okay.

Have some tea.

Hey Cheung!

I'm Fai, sir.

Give me a minute. Let me finish this.

How many points did our company stock grow?

No, sir.

I'm in charge of the design of Wi-Fi egg.

What kind of design?

What is it?

A tie.

It's a WiTie! A Wi-Fi tie.

With this, kids can be
right next to their fathers.

That's so funny.

Yes, it's very funny.

Boss.

What?

WiTire?

WiTire! You're so smart!

That's why I look up to you.

What is it?

Viagra.

Boss,

I still have three days off.

I'd like to take my
three-day leave this week.

What are you talking about?

I know that I can't just
take my leave just like that.

Right, you can't do that.

But do you know how high
your sales target was?

How can you have three days off?

Of course I can't.

Five days!

You should have a five-day leave!

You are so nice to me, Boss.

And you give me a
500-dollar raise every year.

One more thing.

This is important.

Look, this is your mom's cook book.

Ask her to autograph here.

No problem.

Go have your vacation!

Now?

Go on! Go have a vacation. Enjoy!

He's finally gone! Yeah!

Honey! Kar Hay! Chi Ching! I'm home!

Why are you all wet?

You look like you've just
come out from the pool.

I was caught in the rain.

It smells great. What are you making?

I overheard your son talking on
the phone with his classmate.

They were talking about hooking up.

Really?

Yeah.

They just talk, they
don't know how to do it.

In our days, we didn't
even know what that meant.

We thought it was a ball game or something.

Whatever it is.

You should talk to him.

Dad, what is hooking up?

It's a kind of game.

I've never heard of it.

It's a new game.

How to play?

It's like a ball game

Well, we should try hooking up
when we have dinner out next time.

We'll see.

Camp Camp Land?

What's that? I've never heard of it before.

Is it a long plane ride?

We don't have to take a plane there.

It's located in Tin Shui
Wai surrounded by water.

It's in the peninsula.

Why are we going to such an awful place?

How can I share it on my posts?

Look, there was a monster
there a long time ago.

May people died. It's horrifying.

Those look like sparrows.

There are other animals there too.

There are birds, chickens and cows.

And also mosquitoes, roaches and cow dung.

Chi Ching.

Camp Camp Land

is where your father
proposed to me 15 years ago.

It's pretty fun there.

Is it good?

That's right... Your Dad's
70th birthday is coming up.

Let's visit him on our way there.

He pulls a long face whenever I see him.

He may really want to see his grand kids.

What do you think, kids?

We are so excited.

I'll give him a WiTie then?

WiTie? He doesn't even go online.
He doesn't have any use for it.

Let's buy him a real tie.

Hi, what would you like to look at?

Umm...

I'd like to see your boobs Uh bowties.

Is it for yourself or for someone else?

What?

Why is it so hot in here?

Because you're wearing a jacket.

Oh really?

Why?

It's cold outside.

It's getting cold so it's
normal to wear a jacket.

So, what else would you
like me to show you?

My wife sent me here to buy a tie

for my father's birthday.

So you're married?

I'm not. It's over.

She's no longer around.

I'm so sorry. I didn't
mean to ask you that.

No... I mean we are separated.

We are not together anymore
but we're still good friends.

You can't force relationships to work out.

It's hard to be adulterous.
I mean to be adults about this.

You know what I mean?

What else do you need?

I'll do my best to satisfy your needs.

It depends on how much it costs.
How much is this?

$980.

How about this?

$3800.

That's expensive!

This tie can be customized

according to your height.

It has very special patterns.

If you wear it outside, it
gives a very chill look.

And if you tuck it in, it's formal.

It looks better tucked
in, am I right Kar Hay?

That's right.

Chi Ching, Kar Hay, look!

Those little birds are
saying goodbye to us!

Let's wave goodbye at them!

Do you think we are still little?

You always said that

the birds watch over us
so we grow up healthy

I'm serious. They are
really saying goodbye to us.

Come on, wave! Goodbye!

Goodbye!

Ladies and gentlemen,

guess what this is?

A tank?

It's even better.

Hurry up and show us.

What is that?

It is the van that your mom and I

drove to Camp Camp I and fifteen years ago.

Where did you get it?

I looked in many different
garages and finally found it.

Isn't it nostalgic?

You aren't going to drive us out in this?

Dad, can you even start this thing?

Don't worry. The van is like me.

It's well cared for

so it won't fall apart.

Look, it's starting.

Grandma brings 10 pigs to America.

Grandma brings 10 hens to France.

Going to Spain everyday

with her parents

The entire family is happy and delighted.

Grandpa brings 10 dogs to Thailand.
Kar Hay!

Grandpa brings 10 cats to Singapore.
Chi Ching!

Going to Spain everyday

with his parents

The entire family is happy and delighted.

Hey Dad, the GPS states that

we should head east to Grandpa's place.

But we're heading west.

Trust the human brain.

We are almost there.

Mom, I want to go home.

Come on,

your father has been planning
this trip for a while.

Enjoy,

That's right, sweetie.

Daddy is right here. You
have nothing to fear!

Let's check on the engine.

Hey, don't drive so fast.

I want to live past our
fifteenth anniversary.

It's obvious that he's challenging me.

Stop arguing!

Sit tight!

It's time to do the move Grandpa taught me!

Passed him.

Dad, it looks like we are on
the wrong side of the road!

If we are on the wrong side,

there will be an oncoming car coming at us!
Just like this.

Is this Grandpa's house?

I told you we'll be here very soon.
Let's get out.

One cannot develop his
talent without learning,

and cannot learn without peace of mind.

Frivolity will prevent one
from going deep in learning.

And impetuousness will prevent
one from cultivating character.

Only freedom from vanity can
show one's lofty goals of life

And only peace of mind can help
him achieve something lasting.

I'll fix it.

And impetuousness will prevent one from...

And impetuousness will prevent one from...

Dad!

Grandpa!

And impetuousness will prevent one from...

And impetuousness will prevent one from...

Dad.

And impetuousness will prevent one from...

And impetuousness will prevent one from...

And impetuousness will prevent one from...

Woah! It's been too long!

I miss you till my heart aches!

Grandma!

Perfect timing.

Lunch is ready! Come on in!

Let's go in.

Keep your shoes on! Come on in!

Grandma your new house is really big!

It's your Grandpa's.

Isn't Grandpa retired?

Things that are Grandma's
are Grandpa's too.

Dad.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, Dad!

Happy birthday, Grandpa.

Honey, the tie looks good on you!

I don't really think so.

Dad spent a long time
choosing this for you.

Hey, ten men wear ties

nine men bad guys.

Dad, what is Grandpa talking about?

He says that out of ten men who wear ties

nine of them are as-

Mom, it smells great. What are you making?

Keung is cooking downstairs.

Brother?

Keung! Your lil bro and
his family are here!

What is going on? Why is it so dark?

Mom, did you not pay the electricity bill?

Why are you wearing a helmet?

That's right. Why am I wearing a helmet?

Mom!

Daddy!

How are you daddy?

I'm very happy, today is my birthday

That's fantastic

Here, here, and there

That's it

Lil brother,

you're not dead?

I thought you were in Vancouver.

I am a wanted man.

Why?

Sexual Assault.

Who is it?

An underage girl's...

dog.

You sexually assaulted a dog?

No, I was the victim.

Hey Sis,

Uncle!

It's been a long time. You look great.

Come on, give me a French kiss.

You're so friendly.

It's better to be with me than with him.

You'll get it from me.

Hey kids, this is your Uncle!

Uncle...

Kar Hay,

you're so tall! You look a lot like me!

Chi Ching.

You're quite well developed.

I'll take you out to the streets.

She's only 14.

That's perfect, I'll take
her out to do some exercise.

Good.

Follow me to the basement. It's fun there.

You guys have fun, go on.

Come and have a look.
Come pick what you want.

Why are you exclaiming?
You sound like a frog.

Uncle, do you like MJ too?

Yeah I do. We used to go to play
in his house when we were kids.

What did you play with?

We let him play with us.

Hey, don't touch!

If you touch him, he may touch you tonight.

Mom,

there's a home theatre over here.

Hey kiddo, you want to go in there?
You have to pay to get in.

Don't worry, he's family. Let him in.

You shouldn't be watching this.

Hey you should have listened.

Kids nowadays are so naughty.

They watch R-rated films
but don't pay for it.

Burn him a dvd.

Yes, sir.

How dare you not pay?

Wardrobe 3, he's out.

Wardrobe 2. She is here.

Hey wake up! Pay up!

What's the matter?

What's the matter? Pay your rent!

It's just a few days late. You
don't have to be so worked up.

If your period is a few days
late, don't you get upset?

Here's a thousand.

Only a thousand?

I've paid my rent. I paid it!

Paying in installments again?

Bro, people live in a wardrobe?

What a brat. Of course they do.

They aren't ordinary wardrobes.
They are ensuite.

3000 dollars for each unit

I have sixty of them.

I'm going to be rich.

Hey bro,

have you paid the rent yet?

Look in the room.

Mom, is she making drugs?

Let's go back upstairs.

Great!

No one goes anywhere.

Don't you tell anyone!

No, please don't!

Hurry up! Have you finished yet?

It's so scary here.

Let's go back upstairs to Grandpa.
Where's the stairs?

Put more in there!

Bro,

do you know what I've been learning lately?

What?

Sculpting.

Do you know what I'm working on?

What are working on?

Mom.

My Mom?

I'm working on your mom.

It's not bad right?

Is it pretty?

This is Mom?

It's like a carbon copy.

Her eyes, ears, mouth and nose.

She's carrying two bags of milk.
It's just like her.

It's a good idea to cut
a hole here for drainage.

Brother, brother! It looks just like her.

That's great then.

Do you know where Mom and
Dad like to do it usually?

Do what?

Let's have a look. Follow me.

You follow him.

It is good stuff.

Put your head in there.

It's the kitchen.

Of course, there are many tools.

Do you know that Dad loves to

smash your mom on the wall,

and yanks on her hair

Take something to beat her.

Then he would fry something in the pan

and burn her with it.

Then he would poke it

and taste it

and see if it is any good. Mmm, yummy.

He always says that. Let see!

May be it happens now.

Trust me.

Dinner is ready!

Let's have dinner!

Here Dong Quai and Pig Heart's soup.

We can be united after we have it.

It's more like we will die
together after we drink it.

Hey don't say such things.

I'll get the rest of the dishes out.

The soup is yummy.

You should wait for Grandma.

No, don't wait for her.

Soup loses its nutrients
when it gets cold. Go ahead.

Kids don't have to wait

but the grown ups...

I'll let it cool down first.

Go ahead. We are family so
don't worry about formalities.

Not only do they taste good,
the dishes look fantastic!

This is beautiful.

This dish has a name. It's
called “Happy Shrimps”.

Please go ahead and dig in!

Let's dig in!

It's just a name.

You make it sound like
it's some kind of destiny.

Do you think if you eat these
shrimps you'll be happy?

That's ridiculous! What happens
when you eat crabs then?

If you eat crabs, then you're “crappy”.

Fai loves crabs.

So what if something is delicious?
What's that big a deal?

What happens after you eat it?

Chest?

It turns into poo.

Come on, we are having dinner.
Stop talking about poo.

Here, have a shrimp.

I have an announcement

Since my business downstairs

has grown 80 percent,

my next step is to expand overseas.

That's a success.

And that's the first
important step you've taken

Yes!

So you should move on to step two.

What's your idea?

I'm planning to open a

Scary Museum in Scotland.

I'll recoup the costs within a month.

And in three months,

I won't have to work again
for the rest of my life.

How much you want?

Five Hundred Thousand Dollars

500,000 dollars? Dad!

YOLO

What is that?

You Only Live Once

I'll write you a cheque.

(French)

I love you, Papa!

I love you, two, three, four and five!

Papa, I love you.

Today's your big day.

I've asked someone to make a cake for you.

Are you surprised?

Yes, I am!

Surprised?

Surprised.

I told them not to tell you. Who told him?

No, no, we didn't!

Have the cake after dinner.

Yes, Madam.

What's up with kids nowadays?

They play with their phones at dinner.

They just wouldn't put it down.

And they like to put things on a cloud.

How do that do it? What if it rains?

They always talk about iCloud.

I have no idea what they are talking about.

ICloud is a kind of data storage.

Alright, alright. Let's
give a toast to Grandpa.

Cheers to you, my husband.

May you be as healthy as always. Cheers!

Cheers!

Papa, is the cake yummy?

Baby, can you go have a look outside?

Don't smoke so much.

Stop nagging.

Will they be fine?

Why not?

Both of them are like enemies.

Every time when we return they
aren't happy at each other.

I wonder who did who wrong.

Is there something I don't know about?

The story went like this

This is the final lap

Hurry, hurry! We're running out of time

Dad!

Step on the gas!

Dad!

Step on the gas!

No Fai! That's machine oil!
You can't drink that!

You can't drink that!

We're running out of time!

Mo might ends up second place

That was how Grandpa got a second

and you were the first.

I was only a housewife back then.

I only won a cooking contest

and he became what you're looking at.

Your father-in-law
doesn't like to lose face.

I'd rather let him think he's the winner.

You're so accommodating towards him.

Since he can't be angry with me,

he bottles up a lot and
takes it out on Fai.

How about this?

Let's figure out a way for them

to bury to hatchet.

Yes yes, okay okay. No problem.

Certainly. Go ahead please.

Einstein is on one line and

he asks for a two take-away milk tea.

Stephen Hawking on the other line.

He says he will pick it up himself.

He says he will pick it up himself.
How can he cope?

I'm going to help him.

Oh What?

It's a little scratched up.

Where?

Here.

Just a tiny bit.

Do you know that?

Sometimes people lose
because of one tiny bit.

And when you lose, you're a loser forever.

Dad, I'm sorry.

You're sorry? What are you sorry about?

Are you referring to the
cake incident or the past?

And what in the past?

I... I... I...

You... you... you...

Don't you speak Chinese?

Do you speak in chinese?

Honey! Oh no!

There are cockroaches everywhere!

Why so sudden?

Your daughter-in-law
activated an insect bomb

and the smell won't go away for a few days.

You can't inhale that.

Why don't you guys come
with us to the camp?

Honey!

I don't do camps.

You don't have much time, Dad.

What do you mean?

I'll go pack some clothes.

I've got everything ready. Let's go!

So quick?

Of course

Let's go.

Isn't there too much
stuff in such a small car?

Dad, perhaps you didn't know that

this van is meant for 4 people.

Shhh.

Am I right? We were going to have
a family vacation on our own.

The more the merrier.

Drive carefully!

You gave me such a big shock, son!

Mom, this bag is a good corpse bag.

Get me 500 of these.

I knew that it's you!

Don't worry, don't be scared. Calm down.

You have a light?

Everybody calm down.

Uncle, can you stop smoking?
It's smoky in here.

I haven't even lighted it yet.

Fai,

did you fill up the tank?

Yes.

Did you check the tyres?

Yes.

Did you change the brake belt?

Yes.

Did you change the oil?

You get into trouble so many times a day!

You're pretty amazing.

Grandpa, Dad doesn't want
this to happen either.

I'm the only one working here.

I'm doing my best to fix it.

Your car has no engine oil,

It doesn't matter how
hard you try to fix it.

Honey, I'll give you a hand.

Kar Hay.

Yes.

Bring me the oil

Papa.

Mama.

Hey, we're here. We're here.

Honey, honey. We're here.

We're here.

We're here. We're here.

I'm Back!

He failed the attempt of murder

More news about the midnight slaughterer

He was hurt by the victim

Escaped with an injured leg

The victim is now hospitalized

Excuse me, may I know
where the reception is?

May I help you?

Our last name is Mo. We'd
like to rent a tree house.

Yes.

But that house has been
empty for a long time.

So, is there any air-conditioning?

Wait a minute.

Yes it does.

But it is not consistent at times.

I suggest that you have us look at it.

But that will be $300.

Isn't air conditioning included
in the room rates? It cost money.

I'd like to see your manager.

Hold on please.

What's the problem?

Are you the only one who works here?

It depends on the operating
hours and number of customers.

I'll give you $300.

It's ok, Mom. I got it.

$300.

Thank you, thank you.

I hope that we will have
a good trip these few days

so...

If you keep me happy, I'll do the same.
You know what I mean.

Go straight for two minutes and turn right.

You'll see the treehouse right there.

Please help me with our luggage.

That will be $500.

This place isn't renovated at all.

That's a good thing.

Sweetie, this place looks
just like it did 15 years ago.

Hey honey, look.

You proposed to me right here.

That's the spot.

Yes.

Time flies. It's like
it happened yesterday.

How creepy this is?

Kar Hay, Chi Ching.

Help me get rid of the
cobwebs and clean the windows.

Honey, can you help me
arrange the furniture.

Okay. Mom,

make Dad a nice pot of tea.

Brother.

Yes?

Just chill, alright?

I'll go fix the lights Ok, no problem!

Kar Hay!

Kar Hay!

Kar Hay!

Dad, what are you doing?

I did it.

Grandma and Grandpa,
come have a look outside.

Fai wants to show you something special.

What's so special?

The light up ceremony of
the Mo Family Vacation

at Camp Camp Land shall commence!

Count down Kar Hay!

One...

Let me count.

1, 2, 3!

It's beautiful...

Mama.

ET phones home?

Are they aliens?

They could be.

I haven't experienced so
much troubles in one day!

Thanks a lot, Fai!

Thank you.

May, I'm tired. I'm off to bed.

Son,

I think your house looks better!

Oh, thanks, Mom!

It's so strange.

Bro, I'll help you finish him.

How do you do that?

Haven't figured out that part yet.

Dad, we prefer your tree house.

Right, this is more beautiful.

I know. I know...

Honey,

don't stay up for too long.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Where is your mother?

I just woke up. I have no idea.

Really?

Yes. Can I sleep a little longer?

Kar Kay.

You know what?

There's nothing better than morning air.

We don't get much of an “us” time often.

What do you think? Do you want to
play frisbee with your old man?

But only dogs play with frisbee.

If dogs like it, people would like it too.

Go! Over there.

Further, Kar Hay!

A little further, a little further.

Just a little more! Okay.

Stand right there. This
one is going to be far!

I'll go get it.

Alright! You go.

Hi!

Thank you for your great hospitality.

Don't mention it. We are neighbours.

I'm George Kiu.

I'm Mo Tak Fai.

Didn't we meet on the highway?

No wonder you look familiar.

Thanks for the machine oil.
I'll you for that.

Don't worry about it. I'm
getting electric car soon.

Just take it.

Anyway. This is my son.

Say hi to uncle

Hi uncle

What is he doing?

He's watching Leon Lai's 4D Concert.

Look, he's shaking hand with Leon!

Why is he all sweaty?

He's watching the one where
there's no cloth barrier.

Sonia, come over here.

Please say hi!

Uncle.

She looks much more normal.

It's time for lunch.

What are you having?

This is Stir-fried beef noodles.
Would you like it?

It's too greasy for me.

Dad.

Humans will die instantly if the
water percentage in their bodies

exceeds a certain point. Do
you want to know what it is?

Yes.

Let's go.

You have such great kids.

They are so polite and
they are good looking.

You and your wife are so lucky.

All thanks to my wife

reminding me next to my ear every day.

That's how they end up so well.

I'm sorry. I didn't know that
your wife has passed away.

I know. Okay. I got it.

My wife just told me to be mindful of you.

I'm just kidding.

That's your wife?

Yes.

She looks just like my wife.

She has a pointy chin. So loving.

And those are so small.

What do you mean?

I'm referring to her eyes.

Honey, his steaks smell so good!

I think it's yummy too.

Honey, Mom and Dad,

let's not impose.

Let's go back to ours for some food.

I'm very hungry!

That's right. How about
we have some food first?

That's right, let me play a little longer.

No, no. Let's not impose.

I have prepared something good.

Dad, Chi Ching, Kar Hay. Let's go back.

Alright we'll eat at ours.

We don't want to impose. Come on.

Goodbye.

Thank you!

Honey,

we haven't done this properly
for the last 15 years.

We are an old couple now.
Are we still doing it?

That's exactly why

When we get home, the little ones are there

and we can't make any noise.

You're so bad.

But I like it!

Honey, I have a new move.

How?

Come. Come over here. Give me your leg.

Higher, a little higher.

Oh no! Oh no!

What? What's problem?

My leg! It's cr... cramping up!

Cramping up? Where is it?

No, lower... lower.

Here?

To the left! To the left!

Would you like a massage?

Yes, right there

Is it good?

Yes!

I'll carry on then.

Relax.

Better?

Goodnight honey.

Hi everyone!

What is it?

What's the commotion?

Good morning.

What a disgrace!

Bro, you're here so early!

What was the score?

This is a family competition.

The winner

can travel to Thailand with our ambassador.

We'll have a 10-minute break.

Let's have a photo.

Here, look over here.

One by one

Mo Tak Fai?

Smoothie?

What Smoothie?

It's really you!

How come you

haven't changed a bit?

You're the same too!

You haven't changed much either.

Well apart from a bigger tummy

and more grey hair.

Honey!

Hey hon, this is Bak Suet Suet.

This is my wife.

Ng Tak Han (Busy Ng).

Hi, nice to meet you!

Hello.

Why do you call her Smoothie?

Fai Fai was a naughty kid.

He thought that I was fair
and smooth and I can't tan.

So he gave me that nickname.

So you know each other?

Fai and I were classmates
in primary school.

Primary school mates.

How come you've never mentioned her behind?

I'm not like you.

I tell my wife everything.

Relationships won't last
if you're not honest.

Kar Hay.

I'm here.

Oh there you are.

Say hello.

Say hi to auntie.

Auntie.

Oh just call me Sis! I'm still single.

Sis!

Good boy.

Uncle Seven!

Mr. Mo No (Brainless).

How are you?

Would you like to join our tour?

Is it going to cost me
$300 for processing fees?

I'm the mc today.

Before I accepted the job,

my manager already settled my artiste fees.

Who's your manager?

It's me.

Uncle Seven,

did you hurt yourself
when you were working?

Why do you have such question?

You have blood on your shirt.
I was worried.

Oh that's not mine.

Whose blood is it then?

Let me ask my chef.

You're the chef too!

Very good! Very good.

Today it's his day off.

If you want to meet him,
it will cost you $1000.

No, thanks.

I'll find him myself.

No! Don't! Don't come after me!

Do you believe I'll...

I want to sleep a little longer.

Then I'll go ahead myself.

Take care of yourself.

Hi teams!

We're about to begin the first round.

You have thirty minutes.

The team that catches

the biggest fish will win this round.

Good morning.

Kar Hay, one doesn't need to be
skillful when it comes to fishing.

It's about the fishing pole.

Grandpa gave this to me.

I've caught many fish with it.

Bring me the bait.

You can do it!

Honey, you hang in there.

Come on, he might as well hang himself.

It's a big one.

Be careful.

This is going to be huge.

What's that poking out of the water?

Oh no! It's a shark!

The fish is too heavy.

Kar Hay, pass me the fish net.

Honey! Watch out!

It's a shark!

Somebody save him!

Be careful! Be careful!

The water is cold. But I'm ok.

That was fun.

I'll take him from here. Thank you.

I'm fine! Don't worry!

They said that I'll take you from here.

The Kius wins this round!

Honey! Something terrible happened!

What?

Come, look!

How did that happen?

Richard made that shark!

This sick kid was swinging
his arms at the lake.

So he was controlling the shark!

It has over a hundred thousand views!

Over a hundred thousand views.
I wonder how true that is!

The numbers could be fake.

Over a hundred thousand people
watched Fai fall into the water?

They have nothing better to do?

There are so many other things

people should be concerned about.

But yet they'd rather watch
Fai falling into the lake.

And they “liked” it.

It's so ridiculous.

We're old. We'll never understand.

But Grandma,

you have over a million
fans on your website.

Back in the day, if we
weren't happy with someone,

we would tell that person
straight to the face.

We don't hide.

Let me emphasize one thing.

This is a family trip.

We should be spending time
together and not going online.

I'm confiscating the Wi-Fi Egg.

Are you serious?

Yes, decision is made. Goodbye!

Come on, Dad.

Hi, everyone!

You're all here today. That's fantastic.

I'd like to announce that

Round Two begins!

You'll pick a representative
from your team,

and place a tennis ball on his head.

The other team members

will pick a tool from the box.

They will then throw it and try
to knock off the tennis ball.

The team that knocks off
the most tennis balls

will win.

Understand?

Alright! Round two begins right now!

Well, it has come to this. Let's
pick someone as the target.

I've got this ready.

We'll pick one each.

Ok. Papa.

Ok. 3, 2, 1.

Hey, come on, Dad's old.

Let's do this again.

He picked the card himself.

Sure, I'm not afraid.

We're here to play the game so
there are rules that we must follow.

You must stay alert. Don't lose.

If you lose, we'll lose face!

Yes, Papa.

Be careful!

Be careful!

Just toss it out.

Kar Hay,

I'm righteous and honest. I'm not scared.

Close your eyes and throw it!

Just toss it anyhow.

You little brat!

You did this on purpose?

Do it again

and I'll spank your bottoms!

I'm sorry!

Don't worry, honey. This won't hurt him.

Chi Ching, you can do this!

Sister.

Papa here I go

The Mo Family hasn't
struck off a single ball.

Is it that difficult?

Amazing!

Alright, honey! Alright! Hurray!

The Kius is one point ahead.

Fai, if you can hit it this time,

you'll be even.

You can do it!

Filial piety is the
foundation of all virtues.

You only have one father.

Why don't you swap place with me?

You said you are righteous and honest
and you have nothing to be afraid of.

Just relax.

Honey. If anything happens,
take care of the kids.

You can do this.

Throw it!

You can do it!

Grandpa! Grandpa!

Mr. Mo Lo! You're down!

Oh no! Here comes the paramedics!

I'm encouraging you from
the bottom of my heart.

Don't lose again. If you lose,

no one will play with me in the next round.

How's Dad?

Go ask him yourself.

Dad! Give me the Wi-Fi Egg.

There are three Korean
series that premiered today.

What? What is more important
than the competition?

How can we win if we are not united?

I have my rights! I want to watch tv!

I've already missed many episodes.
I'm so miserable!

Let them go online.

I don't care.

We'll leave here first
thing right on the dot at 9!

Some water? Thanks mom. You go ahead.

The digital world

It's all they care about

Wi-Fi connected.

Alright! I hereby announce that

we're going to have an
additional segment this evening

which is titled sponsored
by Mr. George Kiu.

Two pairs of people will

stay in the Starry Hut and

also the Bubble Hut for 24 hours.

If they make it through,

Mr. George Kiu will donate $200,000
to the Po Leung Kuk Foundation.

The first lucky person is...

what a coincidence,

Miss Bak Suet Suet!

And the second one is...

Hold it!

Old man! Don't have to draw.

Why?

I'll sacrifice myself. I'll do it.

I can't break the rules.
I must draw the next person.

What do you say I'll take
you to a good massage later?

I know all the good places.
You don't have to show me.

The second person is

Mo Tak...

See? That's me too.

Fai!

What? I doubt this system!

Red card! You've been sent off!

What red card? Don't snatch my card!

Sent off! Red Card?

Red Card?

Bro.

For you.

Test her out

write me a report.

Honey, we're doing this for the charity.

I'll be back soon.

So I...

I've been... righteous all my life.

Now I'm ruined.

If you weren't married,

do you think we could be together?

Nobody knows.

But everything has changed

since the last time I saw you.

If people don't change, there
won't be any improvements.

The wine is making me warm.

Me too.

Much better.

Me too.

Why are they together?

So they are the other pair?

They are drinking? Let's drink too!

Ok!

Come on, bottoms up!

Cheers!

They are doing yoga?

Stand up! Let's dance!

Right now? Yes.

Honey!

Honey!

Honey!

Hey! Honey! Come out!

Come out!

Honey!

Honey!

Why were you in the room with George?

Just like you.

For charity.

But you were in such a hurry

so you didn't see us pair up.

But you didn't have to do
yoga and drink with him.

You saw that too?

You were so close to her!

But, I could read your lips clearly.

She asked, If you weren't married,

do you think we could be together?

And you said,

“Nobody knows.”

Honey, that's not what I meant.

Don't be unreasonable.

I'm being unreasonable?

I'm being unreasonable?

For all these years,

what haven't I done for the family?

The kids go to school,
study, have dictations

and when they get sick
and everything else...

Who took care of that?

It's been 15 years. And we
haven't gone on a single trip!

Honey.

Great! That's right!
We're here at a campsite!

That's your first love! Your first kiss!
Where you lost your virginity!

I don't care!

Honey!

Don't touch me.

It was an accident.

Well we've returned after 15 years.

Cant' we just have fun
and enjoy ourselves here?

Do you think I want to be upset?

It's you who is making me upset!

But whatever.

The most important thing
is that you are happy.

Are you alright?

Did you drink a lot?

You'll be fine. Here. Listen to me.

Here's some tap water.

Have a pill but don't swallow it.

You'll be fine.

Keung. Trust me, be good.

You're so nice to me.

Don't mention it, it's nothing.

Hey! How about this?

I'll get my little brother out
so you can vent your anger!

What?

I mean Fai.

He made you upset. I want to choke him too.

He's quite soft and weak usually.

But when you squeeze
him, he will become hard.

Hard-headed! What a jerk!

It's not his fault.

Whose fault is it then?

Honestly, do you think I'm better or Fai?

I'm not in the mood to
think about this now.

I'm just thinking if
Fai and his wife argued

was all because of me.

It's all my fault.

You're silly.

They argue all the time.

They fight every day. Every morning
when I passed by their room,

their organs and their
faces are all crooked.

I just want to chase them out

so the stray dogs can drag them
up the hilland their them apart!

So I'll never get married.

You just haven't met your match yet.

You're pretty good. Why aren't you married?

I'm not young anymore. No one wants me.

Have you ever considered...
having pre-marital sex?

I can't. He will know!

You're silly.

Mary wasn't married when she gave birth.

So are many celebrities.

You just have to tell
people you're a virgin.

Everyone does that nowadays.

You do have a point.

But... in order to do that,
I have to find someone I feel for.

Feelings? Of course, you'll have feelings.

This is something that is instill in us.

It's a sense of enjoyment that is

produced by your central nervous system

your hormones and the adrenaline.
It's enjoyable and lubricating!

Come on! Let's do it now!

Like this?

What are you doing?

No! Come here!

We must have a solemn ceremony first.

Pray to four corners! Repeat after me.

There are plenty of suitors.

There are plenty of suitors.

Keung will never complain.

Keung will never complain.

Keung want a dating.

Keung want a dating.

I'll corner you in the
wall and hump your mother.

What?

No.

I'll walk your brother across the street.

I'll walk your brother across the street.

Very good. Let's give some incense to Mary.

You don't offer incense to Mary.

This is Maria Ozawa.

Please.

Bow once.

Bow Twice.

Bow one more time.

Family, please bow.

Done.

Bro.

My body hurts all over after doing it.

Hey bro,

why are you here drinking all by yourself?

Here's for you. What's wrong with you?

Who could you not tell me?

My face is itchy.

Someone kissed you right there.

Someone kissed me? Right.

That's funny. Do you know
who loves me the most?

Mama.

Is that a mark left from
Mom since I was a kid?

I don't believe you. Drink!

Tell me. Tell me if I'm right.

It's all George's fault.

I didn't like him from the beginning.

He was trying to seduce your wife!

Seduce my wife!

I wonder if I have it with me?

Luckily I have it with me.

This is a good one.

What is it?

Kill him!

Kill him?

Kill him.

I'm going to bed. I'm tired.

Don't you kill him?

Let's do it again. I am sober now.

Kill him?

Alright. I'll kill him.

I'll kill him!

I'll kill him!

I'll kill him!

I'll kill him!

You're so calculating.

I told you.

Uncle Seven could be the
Midnight Slaughterer.

Will they kill us all?

Lower your voice. You're asking for it!

Here's the plan. Get Fai over here.

I'll go and check him out.

Be very careful.

Don't let him know that it's you.

You have to be careful too.

Honey!

Honey!

Honey, are you alright?

What happened to you?

Why did you make such a big mess?

That wasn't you? Who was it then?

How would I know?

I'm sorry.

We'll compensate for the damage.

Let's go, honey.

Hey, you're going?

You're going now?

You made such a mess and
you aren't tidying up?

Who's going to tidy up?

Me! Darn it!

Next, the family has to
get in the water craft

and get the flag in the
middle of the water.

Whoever gets it first win be the winner!

Begin!

Bro. What?

We'll get him. Alright.

Dad!

Bro, this looks familiar!

You asked me to kill him.

I asked you to make a cake for your wife!

Were you that drunk? You didn't hear me?

Dad, you didn't watch the news?

Don't you know that burning
flour can cause an explosion?

Do you know that I've ordered this

specially from Germany?

Why must you do this to me?

So you were the one in the
supplies room last night!

How dare you hit me? How unfilially of you!

You hit me last night?

Why have you turned into such a coward?

How did I teach you both?

I taught you to be responsible men.

I taught you to be
righteous and be a good man.

Why did you use dirty tricks like this?

So what if you win?

You're not hero! You scum.

I'm going to give you a good beating.

Don't be rash. Don't be so worked up.

What now?

What have I done?

I have done so much

just because I wanted the
family to have a good time.

Now it's my fault!

How could you believe him and not me?

You despicable, shameless,

self-centred, suicidal,

selfie-taking jerk!

My wife will forgive you.

That's right. Why don't you
ask your wife to come here

and see how you tried to seduce my wife!

What did you say?

You shut up!

You shut up!

No Sir, I will not!

You've always looked down on me.
You think you're that amazing?

For all these years,
aren't you always second?

How amazing is that?

If you didn't drink the machine oil...

Finally! You finally mention it!

So you've always held a
grudge on me about that.

Everything is my fault.

Dad, everything is my fault.

It's my fault that you
cut yourself while shaving

and it's my fault that you step on dog poo.

You're happy about that, right? Boss!

Son

I haven't been a boss for a long time.

That's enough. Are you finished yet?

Not yet, Mom! I just started.

I'm so happy and delighted.
I want to carry on!

Forget it if you want to quit!

I want to win the competition!
You're all crazy!

If you go solo, it's another $1000!

You get out of here!

May, this isn't for us.

I'll treat it as if I don't have this son.

Let's go!

Are you having a heartache?

I'll perform a thorough body check on you.

Every household has its problems.

Who wants to be alone?

Who wants to stare at
the moon and stars alone?

Where is the goddamn flag?

Kar Hay?

I... I am Mo Tak Fai.

Are you from overseas?

I am Mo Tak Fai.

Are you from France?

(French)

Are you from Japan?

(Japanese)

That egg is mine. No...

this is a Wi-Fi Egg.

Your egg is with my daughter.

No I mean, it's in the treehouse.

Look, it's a Wi-Fi Egg.

Switch off... Switch on!

This is made in China.

Switch off. Look, it did it.

I'll get your egg from the house.

No need!

Honey! Honey!

I'm sorry honey. It's all my fault.

I shouldn't have left you guys behind.

No matter what happens,

I should be on your side.

We said the vows. “Till death do us part”.

Honey.

Honey, how do you know
that the egg belongs to it?

Your daughter complained
that she couldn't go online.

And your brother almost cooked it.

So I thought there must be something wrong.

You're so smart.

Honey, have some tea. Simmer down.

Nothing can be brought away.
Only the karma that follows.

What are you talking about?

I don't know what I've
done wrong in my past life.

Honey. You shouldn't say things like that.

You're regretting to be with me then?

I'm talking about you. I mean...

Fai is my son.

You're saying that I'm a burden to you?

Hey you didn't hear what I said.

I heard it clearly.

Since you think that I'm a burden,

there's no point that we stay together.

I'll leave!

No!

You can't leave me, May.

If you leave me, who will
prepare nice food for me?

Now you think that I make good food?

Of course!

With you gone, my life will be tasteless.

May, as the saying goes,

I'd rather have porridge
than rice if I'm happy.

I know that I've been bad all these years.

I'm so chauvinistic.

You've tolerated...

Not tolerated, I accommodated.

You've to be accommodating when
you're married. It's fine to do that.

Why do you need to care if you're the No.
1 Raceror No. 1 Chef?

You always emphasized to be the first.

We already have a No. 1 son.

Isn't that enough?

You're referring to Fai? Yes.

It has been living here for over 30 years.

It has seen this place changed a lot.

It says that people don't
take care of the environment.

So it has been gathering the trash.

It didn't mean to scare you,

am I right?

(You husband is such a nerd.)

Honey, what is it saying?

It says that you're very agile.

(He has poor coordination.
And uglier than me.)

He says you are... very good looking.

Thank you!

(Get out of here. )

Honey,

I promise that I won't throw
by temper at you again.

Let's head back and have
a good chat with Dad.

By the way, how do you know to come here?

Don't you remember that I
can communicate with birds?

How are we heading back then?

Dad, I'm coming home!

It's so exciting!

Honey, I love you!

Honey, I love you too!

I am the King of the World!

We are home!

Kar Hay! Chi Ching!

Kar Hay!

Chi Ching!

We are here.

We missed you!

Fai, you are back?

Mom.

Are you hungry? I'll make
you something to eat?

I'm not. I've got into enough trouble.

It's all my fault.

I passed you the flour
and you blew up his boat.

I passed you the machine oil.

Who would have thought you'd drink it?

You were the one who passed it to me.

Why did you do that?

For all these years,

I've been worried about you.

That was decades ago.

I would have died a long time ago.

Let alone that I didn't drink it.

So we are even.

Give me five!

We're good?

Dad... I... I...

I...

I feel you.

Alright, alright.

The competition is on tomorrow, right?

Are we still doing it?

That's right, I want to be in!

Me too!

Us too!

Right...

What time is it? Go to bed!

That's right! Why are we still awake? Right

Go to bed!

We're on tomorrow!

Thank you so much!

Goodbye!

Is that his wife?

It's actually quite sad for them.

So I always say that

I'm the luckiest man in the universe!

Good to know that.

Alright! The 300-metre relay begins!

First question! A Math question!

What is the square root of 4761?

Sixty nine

Sixty nine

It is correct!

Next, complete the following sentence.

You have to be thrifty
even if you're wealthy.

(If you have no money,
don't bother to come home)

Your answer is a bit far fetch.

Chi Ching,

what do I say? In life, you must be...

Humble...

You have to be thrifty
even if you're wealthy.

Be humble if you have done a good job.

That's right.

Geography question next.

There are seven continents in the world.
Which is the largest?

I know! The Philippines!

No prompting!

Asia!

Both got it right!

Hurry! Run!

Hurry! You can do it!

The other teams are out.

Go for it! Come on! Come on!

Hurry up! Come down! Catch up with him!

You can do this!

Sonia!!! Sonia!!!

Don't be scared. it's just a chicken.

Dad, I'm scared. It's so ugly.

Don't be scared. Watch me.

Just take big bites!

It's such a big chunk of meat.
How can I swallow it?

Chew it and swallow it.

It's yummy! Learn from me.

Big bites!

Honey! We did it!

You go first.

Why is that?

You've been so accommodating
all these years.

It's time for me to let
you do what you want.

Stop chatting. They are
already half way there!

Grandma brings 10 pigs to America.

(Grandma? Are they calling for me?)

(Let's join them)

Going to Spain everyday

with her parents

The entire family is happy and delighted.

Grandpa brings 10 dogs to Thailand.
Kar Hay!

Woof! Woof!

Grandpa brings 10 cats to Singapore.
Chi Ching!

Meow! Meow!

Going to Spain everyday

with his parents

The entire family is happy and delighted.

Congrats! Congrats! Congrats!

The Mos win this round!

The next round is called,

“Papa Go-Kart”.

Your family is very united.

I'm truly happy that you won.

What is it? Are you scared now?
You can surrender now.

We'll let you stay in the camp.

Dad, let's go.

Sweetie, you must always be the first

so people will always remember you.

Bro, don't be afraid.
You'll fight against him.

But I can't even if I want to.

Why is that?

I sprained my ankle.

Are you alright?

If you can't take part,
who would be the “Papa?”

Dad, you drive! Me?

You're the best racer in the world!

No one is better than you.
And you're a father.

That's right, Dad.

You're brave and strong.

If you don't take part in it, we'll lose.

That's right, Grandpa!

Burn him with the fire in your heart.

Honey, you still got it!

You're the No.1 racer!

Hey, have you made up your mind yet?

Shut up!

Dad! YOLO!

What's taking Dad so long?

Mama, is it because Papa is too old

and he can't do that anymore?

Of course he can.

Your Papa is a man of his word.

Looks like the fathers are ready to go.

You guys have to be very careful.

Insurance won't cover any injuries caused.

How dare you jinx it?
Spit and say it again.

Yes, Madam!

Insurance won't cover any injuries caused.

I'm going to hit you ass-

Mom, Mom! It's about to start!

The race begins!

Huh? Mr. Mo seems to be
having a little trouble.

Dad, Dad. Did you forget
to push the button?

What button?

Cars nowadays can only start
after you push a button.

Sorry.

Dad, can you drive a little faster?
You're very behind.

Are you alright, Dad?

Dad, can you say something?

Can you please say something?

There's an accident up front.

Watch out for smoke. There's lots of smoke.

There should just be smoke.

Just keep going!

Just floor the pedal!

You'll be fine after that.

Dad.

You can do it!

Dad!

Dad!

Trust me!

Not bad at all!

Here I come!

Mr. Mo is catching up!

I must figure out how to pass him.

He's trying to pass me on the outside.

Mr. Mo and George are
fighting for the no.1 spot!

Hurry! You can do it!

Darn it!

Mr. Mo is now in the lead!

Alright, you want to play?
I'll play with you!

Shooting tomatoes? Such a cheap cheat!

You cart is overloading.
Get rid of the tomatoes.

There's no more in here!

Three more laps!

George Kiu is still in the lead!

This is quite fun!

He is close!

It's the final lap everyone!

You want to pass me from the outside again?

Daddy, be careful! That's dangerous!

Don't worry, I'm the God of Racing!

Fai, when's the birthday?

April next year!

Happy Birthday!

He passed me from the inside!
He tricked me!

Mr. Mo wins!

Daddy,

Don't be upset. You still have me.

How about I cook for you every day?

You're finally eating real food?

Dad, it's okay. You still have me!

You finally talk!

Just like when you play a game.
If you lose, you'll try again.

Remove your VR glasses
and let me see your face.

Son! You have double eyelids!

Daddy! You look just like me!

Mr. Mo!

Mr. Mo!

You are lucky this time.

When will you race with me again?

For sure!

The loser buys dinner!

Alright? No problem.

Be careful!

Fai Let me tell you

Keung asked me to lend him money again.

He wants to build a school
on an abandoned island.

But there's nobody there.

That's right. So I want to ask you

if I should lend it to him?

Why are you asking me?

Because you are a good father.

I don't think you should lend it to him.

I also think that I shouldn't
lend him money again.

Don't lend it to him then.

Little Keung, I will miss you.

Same for me.

When I'm not around,

you must practise the moves.

I'll come back and do
you, I mean teach you.

But I can't get used to the
fact that you're not behind me.

Uncle Seven will take my spot for now.

Excuse me!

She's not my type!

She's not your type?

When you do gymnastics, if you
don't support her from behind

she will fall down.

Who's going to support her if you don't?

Damn you!

Honey, honey. I have a present for you.

What is it?

I can't say it now. I've
put it on the cloud.

Go home and check it out!

How cheeky!

Hey! What are you up to?

Dad,

Brother!

I have an announcement!

Miss Mo Ng Tak Han,

will you spend the rest
of your life with me?

I do.

Thank you!

Let's have a family portrait!

Alright! Alright!

They are together!

Alright!

George, come over here!

Ok, alright.

Where should I stand?

Over there! Take our picture!

No way!

Yes!

Ready! Ready!

A little higher!

Aright!

To the left! To the left!

Don't use the flash!

No!

Countdown please!

You are so unpredictable! Ready!

1, 2, 3!