Status Update (2018) - full transcript

[Kyle] My rise to the top of
the Haden High School food chain

happened faster
than a three-second Snapchat.

But it wasn't always that way.

A few weeks ago, I was just like you,

then I updated my status and some
pretty strange things began to happen.

I feel like I owe everyone
an explanation, so here it is.

Oh, and by the way, I don't play hockey.

Or at least I didn't,
until a few weeks ago.

Oh, come on, kid.

Knock-knock, I'm invading your privacy.

Come on, get up!



You're gonna be late
for your first day of school.

Ugh, it smells like a wet dog in here.

- [Kyle] See that guy?
- Hey!

[Kyle] That was me not so long ago.

Listen, you need to finish
putting this room together

so when you get home from school today,
I want you to start unpacking, all right?

- Breakfast in ten.
- Wait, wait, Mom, Mom!

I don't think I feel so good.

Yeah, right.

[call ringing]

- Hey, bud, howyou doing?
- Hey, Dad.

Sorry for hitting you up so early.
Did I wake you?

Aw, please, don't worry about it.

I had to get up early.
Giant swells this morning.



- Everything okay?
- This place sucks.

I wish I could be there with you.

Listen, you just gotta hang tough
till summer, okay?

Then you're gonna be right back here
in Cali with me.

- I love you, Pop.
- I love you, too, man.

Hang in there, all right?

Whoa!

- Oh, well, sorry about that.
- Gramps!

Still getting used to having
people in the house.

Yeah, yeah, I'll come back later.

- [phone dings]
- [Ann] Don't play with the phone now.

I'm not playing, I'm swiping.

- Swiping?
- Yes.

Get that app off your phone, young lady.

Put it on my phone, though.

Dude, you're gonna wear that
on the first day of school?

This isn't Huntington Beach.

Okay, eat up.
The bus will be here in ten minutes.

I don't know why I couldn't bring my car.

Dad said he'd pay to have it shipped.

Well, I love that money is no object
for your father

because he doesn't make any.

Your dad's need to relax has gotten in
the way of him finding any kind of work.

I get it, you guys are mad at me.

But just bear with me and just trust me.
I have a plan.

This is better for all of us, all right?

[sighs]

Hey, bro! You need to drop
the teen angst act.

Mom and Dad are over.
This is the new normal. Accept it.

Look, they're only separated.
They're not getting a divorce.

She moved 3,000 miles
to get away from him.

To me, that screams divorce,
but then again, I'm a realist.

[Kyle] No surf, no Dad, no car,

senior year in Connecticut.

Twenty three? Room 23?
Does anybody know where Room 23 is?

Sorry, man, my bad.

Hey, do you guys know where Room 23 is?

Cool skateboard.

- Thanks.
- Twenty-three?

- Yeah.
- Isn't that East wing, guys?

- Yeah, I got a class there.
- It's on the other side of the school.

I really appreciate it, dude.

- Not a problem... dude.
- [laughing]

Come on, come on, where is it?

[girl singing]
♪ The fourth the fifth ♪

♪ The minor fall
The major lift ♪

♪ The baffled king composing
Hallelujah ♪

[bell rings]

- Hi.
- [Miss Stacey] Hi.

- Sorry, I'm late.
- Well, Mr...

Kyle Moore.

Kyle Moore, I really hope this isn't how
the rest of the year is going to go.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Please have a seat, Kyle.

Great.

[bell rings]

[sighs]

Hey.

Hi.

I saw you singing earlier, you were,
you were great.

I was a little flat, but, thank you.

- I'm Kyle.
- I'm Dani.

[chuckles]

- Are you trying to make me jealous?
- [sighs]

Brian, this is Kyle.

Kyle, this is Brian Massey.

Hey, man?

Are you making a play on my girl,
Spray Tan?

Brian, I'm not your girl, okay?
You're gay.

Thirty-seven percent technically ain't
gay, baby and you were flat again today.

Do you wanna win the Slam, or not?

Yes! Of course, I want to win the Slam.

Well, then, mediocrity isn't gonna cut it.

Okay, I'm not taking my shirt off.

I cannot lose
that much water-weight again.

You need to step it up.

Are you wearing women's jeans?

No.

Yes, my stylist picked them out.

Dude, you don't have a stylist.

Okay, H&M had a flash sale, I blacked out.

Later, Kyle.

Don't even think about it.

But you can think about this.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, Kyle, looks like
you're acclimating nicely.

This is my boyfriend, Xing-Fu.

Xing, Mr Unpopular here
is my brother, Kyle.

[in Mandarin]

Where are you from in China?

Oh, no, he's from Connecticut.
His real name's Donald.

But he only speaks Mandarin,

because he's so in tune
with his Chinese roots.

Let's go, Fu.

What are you doing at my table?

- Sorry, I didn't know it was yours.
- Well, it is, so beat it.

Wait, wait, no, no, no, no!
Kidding, I'm kidding.

You thought I was serious?
That was awesome.

[snickers] No, I'm not...
I'm not a fighter.

I know I look intimidating,
but no, I've never been in a fight.

That's not true.
When I was in third grade,

this girl kicked me in the eggplant emoji

and I just, uh, fell down and cried,

and pee'd a little.

- Thanks for sharing that with me.
- Yeah. Are you really from California?

- Yeah, I really am.
- That is gnarly.

[chuckles] Is that how you say "gnarly"?

- Sure.
- I've always wanted to go to California,

just skateboard, you know?
Like, down the Venice boardwalk

and, like, hang out
with Snoop Dogg, you know?

Straight Outta Compton-style,
except without, you know,

the smokies, because I have asthma.

But anyways, I can't go,
because I sunburn easily

and I'm not really athletic.
I'm talking a lot, sorry.

My name's Lonnie. [chuckles]
Oh, fist bump.

- Sorry.
- Bro.

- But everyone calls me Grimace.
- Why Grimace?

Oh, because everyone thinks
I look like him.

I don't see it, dude.

Uh, dude. I sound like a Californian.

Yo, Grimace?

Hey, Derek.

I got a B-plus on my history paper.

- Yeah, that's not good.
- That's unacceptable.

Stop eating, start studying.

Got it, dude.

You do that guy's homework?

Yeah, Principal Kim makes me
"tutor" him. [snickers]

He's the best hockey player
in Connecticut.

[Lonnie] He scored more
goals in two periods

than any other high schooler in history.

He's got a YouTube channel
and I hear pros are watching him.

And then there's Charlotte,
Derek's girlfriend.

Hottest girl in the whole school.

The queen of Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook.

She's got like half a million followers
on Instagram.

Queen of all the hockey groupies.

They're expected to win
the state championship.

We haven't w on in like 20 years,
so it's all because of that guy.

Yeah, well, I'm not a hockey fan.

Me, neither, but figure skating's cool.
I mean, whatever.

- Yo, Grimace!
- What?

[all gasp and laugh]

[in sing-song]
Chocolate money shot!

[Lonnie] You got your milk
all over my titties.

[chuckles sarcastically]

Did I forget to mention
he has a really accurate slap shot?

He's good. Do I have anything in my face?

Oh, you got a little something. uh,
right... here.

[bell rings]

[phone dings]

[Derek] Yo, Point Break!

Hey. Come on, man.
I'm just messing with you.

All right? It's nothing personal.

We just do it to all the new kids.
So, uh, we cool?

Kyle! Look out!

Five minutes for cross checking!

How's that locker feel, Point Break?
[laughs]

[Oliver] Oh, Cali!

Hey, come on, give me my phone back.

Oh, you wanna call your mommy,
Point Break?

Oh, you can actually use my phone.
[chuckles]

- Give it back.
- Too slow.

They didn't teach you any hockey in Cali?

Come on, Cali Boy!

Give me my phone back.

Whoa, they teach you manners
in California?

All you gotta do is say please.

Please?

That wasn't so hard, was it?
Here, take it back.

[students gasp]

Nice phone, you might want
to get that looked at, pussy.

[Kyle] Mortal enemy, check.

Hey, man, do you fix phones?

[humming]

You're tryin' to lock me into a lot of dos
and don'ts right now, you beautiful angel.

Let me tell you something,
in a former life, I was a wolf.

Hm, cool.

Mmm. Mmm.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Your chi is way off.

Your chakras are not aligned.

You know what I'm saying?
The feng is not shui-ing.

Uh-huh. Can you fix my phone or not?

Yeah, I can fix your phone. Let me see it.

Okay.

Yeah, say goodnight. This thing's done.

You've "Insta-ed" your last gram,
tweeted your last twit.

I know, you left your whole life behind,
and you're pissed.

And the kids around here,
in pistachio khakis?

They don't really comprendo
a surfer dude like you.

Am I right? Or am I right?

- How did you know that?
- [laughs]

Because I'm here to lighten
the load, baby.

[hums]

Listen, why don't you tell me
what I can do

to make your life a little more Namaste.

[sighs] I don't know. I just...

I want things to be different.

[breathes sharply]

Let's fly.

Do it with me.

- I'm not gonna do that.
- Then nothing's gonna change.

Don't be scared.
Come on. Yeah, yeah. There you go, fly.

Close your eyes.
Do you know what's below you?

All the haters,
and they're pointing and they're saying,

"Look at that beautiful,
blond bird with well-conditioned hair."

You know what I'm saying? [cawing]

That was intense, man. How do you feel?

- Embarrassed.
- Great, me too.

I want to show you something.
Take a look at this.

It's my own social media app.
It's called U-NIVERSE.

When you look at this screen, man,
what do you see?

A blank page?

You're cute, but you are so stupid.
This is you, dude.

Not the "you" you are,
the "you" you want to be.

You can be anybody.

You just gotta fill this page,

a new beginning, you know what I'm saying?

Because when you put positive vibes
out in the universe, the universe listens.

Give me your hand.
Give me your beautiful, soft hand.

Take this

and go...

to your destiny.

Thanks.

[call rings]

[phone chimes]

Ah.

[phone vibrates]

[sighs]

We're all made of energy, me and you.

You've gotta be kidding me.

[man continues on phone]
Your mom and dad...

Oh, whatever.

[ominous music playing]

All you gotta do is fill the screen, baby.

[phone dings]

- [door opens]
- Pants up, hands where I can see 'em.

- What do you want?
- I need to borrow your balcony.

My window's painted shut,
and I need to sneak out.

Where you goin'?

Xing-fu's taking me
to an Anime and Chill party.

Mmm. What are you doing tonight?
That's right, nothing.

See ya.

[snickers]

[sighs]

[snoring]

[alarm rings on phone]

Good morning.

Just warming up the pipes,
don't mind me. [laughs]

[exclaims in disgust]

- Good morning, Sunshine.
- Good morning.

You might want to take a look outside.

Is that my car?

That just showed up on a truck.

[Kyle] Yes! I can't believe it.
That's my car!

Yes, it is, and I can't believe it.

There's no way.

Where's Dad?

[Ann] Probably tanning
on a beach somewhere

and look, you need to get a job,
so you can pay for the gas

but I will help you with the insurance.

Okay. Oh, I knew he'd come through.

Yes!

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, I thought about trying out
for the hockey team,

but my physician said that
I have the ankle strength

of a ten-year-old girl. [laughs]

But you know, multiplayer,
online gaming is my real passion.

It can get pretty physical, too.

Like one time, I passed out
after 17 straight hours of Warcraft.

- Really?
- Yeah, dehydration.

I went to the doctors
and I woke up in the ER.

And then, I met my girlfriend
through League of Legends.

[sighs] She's a bikini model,
her name's Guadalupe.

Hey, Lonnie, can I ask you something?

Have you ever heard of an app
called U-NIVERSE?

No, and I'm on everything,
Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest.

Sure, I only have two followers.
It's my mom and my granny,

and my dad blocked me for some reason.

That's weird.
Why would you block your own son, right?

I haven't talked to him about that...
Wait, wait, what's U-NIVERSE?

It's just something I read about.
Gotta go, see ya'.

Cool, nothing.
Thanks for starting that conversation.

I'll tell Guadalupe about that. [chuckles]

She's my girlfriend. Guadalupe is my girl.

No one cares? Are you on Twitter?

[girl singing]
♪ Even if we're breaking down ♪

♪ We can find a way to break through ♪

♪ Even if we can't find heaven
I'll walk through hell with you ♪

♪ I'm gonna stand by you ♪

Beth! Beth, thank you very much.

Um, I don't mean for you
to take this personally

but that w as, and I say this
with the utmost respect,

like listening to two cats humping,
is that fair?

- [crying]
- Thanks, Beth!

Enjoy the stage as you leave, it's...

it's the last time you'll ever be on one.

Okay.

[snickers]

[phone vibrates]

All right, off you go,
everybody who didn't make it.

You can leave.

Grab your...
There, yes, you're one, certainly.

Yes, you were terrible.

Okay? Thanks, gang, have a good day.

All right, Dani, Brian,
I'm gonna need you up on stage.

Band and chorus,
we got nine weeks to do this.

Not a lot of time.

Excuse me, um, sorry.

I'm here to audition.

Okay, and you are?

- I'm Kyle Moore.
- Are you a singer, Mr Moore?

Yeah, uh, I'm classically trained.

[Mr Moody] You're classically trained?

[Kyle] Yep.

Okay, everybody sit down,
we're gonna do one more up here.

You know where the stage is?

- It's this thing.
- Yeah.

Have a go at it.

Hoo.

All right, hey,
what will you be singing?

- Singing?
- Yeah.

Uh...

it's a surprise, even to me.

I usually just let my inner rock-star
do whatever he's feeling.

Your inner rock-star?

Yeah.

Yeah.

[bearded man] We're all just made
of molecules, man.

We're just energy.
All you have to do is soar!

[singing opera music]

[Mr Moody laughs hysterically]

What the hell? [continues laughing]

Quite a surprise, Mr Moore.

My God, that's the craziest thing
I've ever seen.

You must be a very lonely person.

- Come back when your balls drop.
- [all laughing]

Au revoir, mademoiselle.

Seriously, come back when your balls drop.

[laughter continues]

Dude, I am freaking out!

You gotta tell me what the deal is
with the... Dude? Dude?

Hey, dude. Dude!

Huh? Oh.

I remember you.
You're the angry kid with no friends.

Yeah, stay with me here, listen.

That U-NIVERSE app you put on my phone,
it's insane.

It worked.
The things that I wished for happened.

Right.

Some things that I wished for didn't
happen the way that I wanted them to.

- I know.
- Well?

- Let me ask you a question.
- Yeah.

If a unicorn wrote a tweet
and then posted it

and then he put it up and deleted it
and then a tree fell down in the forest,

- does anybody even hear it?
- What are you talking about?

Listen, that U-NIVERSE app,
can you tell me how to control it?

Can you tell me if I can take
back something that I posted?

What do you want to take back?

[clears throat]

[singing opera]

Whoa, dude!

That's what you wished for?

- Listen to me, man.
- What?

You can't change the past,
that's crazy talk.

- Is this forever?
- Me and you?

No, no! I'm talking about the app.

- Oh, the app.
- Y es!

- All I know is this.
- Y eah.

The universe is changing
thousands of times every second.

You just gotta update your status.

Update my status.

[Kyle] Update my status,
the universe will assist.

My man!

Dad?

What's up?

- Hey.
- Hey.

I can't believe you're here.

- [laughs]
- What are you doing here?

Ah, dude, I don't even know.

I woke up and I was like,
"I gotta get out of here.

I gotta go. I gotta go," so I just did.

I don't know, I got on a plane.

- Boom, I'm here. [laughs]
- Wow.

Hey, why aren't you driving Born to Run?

- Mom says I have to get a job first.
- Heard that before.

Listen, grab a sponge, all right?

Can't have ladies getting in a dirty ride.

- You got it.
- [laughs]

So tell me something,
what's been happening?

Oh, you don't even know.

I've been skating and surfing every day,
12 hours a day sometimes.

Hey! [laughs]
Anna Banana, how are you doing?

Hey, killer, [clears throat]
you want to give us a second?

Yeah.

- What are you doing here?
- You look great.

I forgot what those scrubs do to you.
[snarls]

[laughs] So great.

I'm telling you, these waves were
topping out like at 30 feet. 30 feet!

That's like as big as this house!
I mean, that's huge!

I don't think you truly appreciate
how big this is.

Annie, give them the arm wave,
show them, show them.

All right, this is me on my board, right?

This is the 30-foot wave. Look at that!
This is to scale, Maxi.

Ugh! Ugh! Shred! Shred! Bleed! Bleed!
Pull, snap through.

Thanks, Ann. And they were just coming,
one after the other

and I surfed them, all day long.
All day, Allen! Into the evening, even.

And then I fell asleep
to the sounds of that angry ocean

just pounding the beach.

[mimics pounding]

[grunts and laughs] It was pretty great.

Wake up the next day
and we did it all again. What? [laughs]

It was one of the best times
I've ever had in my entire life.

Except for the time...
you and I rebuilt the Alpha Romeo.

That was the best time I ever
had in my life.

- Hey, agreed! Born to Run! Whoo!
- Born to Run! Cheers to that, my man.

Well, it's good to have you back, Dad.
Now Kyle has a shoulder to cry on.

Maxi, chill out.

So, Darryl, what do you plan
on doing for work here?

Well, I connected with
an old skate buddy of mine

who's got his own brand
out here in New Haven.

He's gonna hook me up
with a job doing graphics.

It's a real job.

So I hit the ground running tomorrow.

But tonight, I just want to say
that I am so happy to be here

hanging out with that sexy,
little surfer chick I met 22 years ago.

Do you remember that girl, Anna Banana,
I think her name was?

- Sort of.
- Anna Banana. [laughs]

Annie, Kyle, Maxi, I love you guys.

There's no other place
in the universe I'd rather be.

[all] Cheers.

[Darryl] Cheers, Allen.

[Kyle] So what did I do?

What would you do?

All right, U-NIVERSE,

let's make some moves.

Thank you, Doris.

- I want another shot.
- Huh?

I want another shot.

Uh, you want a Castrato role now?

I don't think you're gonna like
the requirements very much.

[in sing-song] You suck!

- See? That's how it's actually done...
- [Mr Moody snickers]

because I'm actually classically trained.

All right? Now get out of here.

[music playing]

Hey, can I borrow that?

One, two! One, two, three.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh ♪

♪ Never had much faith in love
Or miracles ♪

What?

♪ Never wanna put
My heart on the line, uh ♪

♪ Swimming in your water
Is something spiritual ♪

[inaudible]

♪ I'm born again every time
You spend the night, uh ♪

♪ 'Cause your sex takes me to paradise ♪

♪ Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise ♪

♪ And it shows
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause you make me feel like
I've been locked out of heaven ♪

♪ For too long, for too long ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh ♪

♪ Ah, yeah, yeah
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh ♪

♪ You bring me to my knees
You make me testify, uh ♪

♪ Yeah, you can make
A sinner change his ways ♪

♪ Open up your gates
'Cause I can't wait to see the light, uh ♪

♪ And right there is
Where I wanna stay ♪

♪ 'Cause your sex takes me to paradise ♪

♪ Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise ♪

♪ And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause you make me feel like
I've been locked out of heaven ♪

♪ For too long, for too long ♪

♪ Yeah, you make me feel like
I've been locked out of heaven ♪

♪ For too long, for too long ♪

♪ And you make me feel like
I've been locked out of heaven ♪

♪ For too long, for too long ♪

♪ 'Cause you make me feel like
I've been locked out of heaven ♪

♪ For too long, for too long ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh ♪

What did you think?

[all cheering]

I had no idea what to expect
after yesterday.

But oh, my God, you frigging killed it.

I'm so happy. I hated singing with Brian.

The best part was watching Massey freak

and then Mr Moody
kick him out of chorus. So good!

Since when did my brother
get so many friends?

And who has the non-dairy,
chocolate, caramel latte?

That would be me,
the lactose intolerant one.

Can't drink milk,
because it goes through me

like lava through a Philippine village,
just... [blows raspberry]

Just really thick.
Would you like to go out sometime?

No, thanks.

Is it because of the diarrhoea?

Brian's here.

Let's go, outside, you and me, right now.

Brian, just go away.

You no longer have the privilege
of speaking to me.

And when I'm selling out the Garden,

you'll all be kissing my waxed,
platinum butt cheeks.

- Brian!
- Zip it, Gigi Had-da-da!

- All right, that's it!
- Kyle, don't, this is stupid.

No, it's okay.

Let's go.

Brian! Brian, don't do this.

Kyle!

Guys, come on.

One rule, no touching my face.
This is my money maker.

[groans]

Whoa.

I am so gonna cream you.

[gags]

Be like water
making its way through cracks.

- [Brian] You're dead!
- Kyle!

Ooh!

[all clamouring]

Point taken. I'm good.

- Here you go, Gramps.
- Thank you.

Hey, Anime, I don't know
what's going on with this look,

- but I am digging it, big time.
- [clicks tongue]

Our daughter is wearing a dog collar.

Darryl, um, how was your first day?

It went well.
Yeah, it's just a wait-and-see game now.

What do you mean, wait and see?
I thought you said you had the job.

I do, I do.
I just had to meet my boy's partner.

Big dog and pony show, you know how it is.

Don't worry, I got the job, okay?
Hey, killer, what gives?

We were supposed to meet at
the skate park. You stood me up.

Sorry about that, I got caught up.

- He got into a fight.
- [Ann] You got in a fight?

- Yeah, oh, yes.
- Maxi.

You dropped him like a bad habit, too,
didn't you?

- It wasn't a big deal, Mom.
- Um, it is a big deal.

What is wrong with you?
Why are you fighting?

Relax, okay?

There's nothing wrong with him.
There's not a scratch on him.

He's looking good, he's walking tall.

I taught my son not to act like that.

Well, apparently he does, and he wins.

Give me some. [grunts]

Mom, I'm fine, and it won't happen again.

- Can I be excused?
- Where you going?

Meeting up with a friend.

[Maxi]
Friends, singing in the chorus, fighting,

you're not that cool, dude.

Get out of here, have fun,
enjoy your date.

Thanks. Thank you, Dad.

And try not to get in any fights.
See what I did.

Hey, hold on a second.
Why don't you take the Alfa.

- You're the best, Dad!
- [laughs]

I am the best.

What?

[sighs]

Okay, where are we going?

If you could do anything in the world,
right now,

what would it be?

I would...

ride a Ferris wheel.

- Really?
- Yeah, mmm-hmm.

[laughs]

- Why?
- I love Ferris wheels.

I've loved them ever since
I was a little girl.

Well, you're in luck.

I just happen to know where one is.

Oh, oh, no.

- Oh, my God!
- You like it?

Oh, my God, this is so good.

Where did it even come from?

One night only... and it's all for us.

- Come on.
- [laughs]

This is too good.

[man] Hello.

Well, hi.

- Right this way.
- Thank you.

Thanks.

[Dani] Whoo!

This feels right. [laughs]

- Whoo!
- [Kyle] Yeah!

- Whoo!
- [Dani] Yeah!

- Yeah!
- This is so cool.

Yeah, it is.

Everything you wanted?

[Dani] Oh, this is like the dream.
I'm obsessed with this.

- [laughs]
- [Kyle] Oh, yeah.

Hey, how do you like singing
with our chorus?

- I like it.
- Yeah?

I just wish we were singing
something more now.

- Yes.
- Or at least 2003.

Mmm-hmm. Mr Moody plays it so safe.

It's probably why Hayden
has never won the Slam.

Hm.

Man, it would feel so good
just to win one time.

We're gonna win the Slam this year.

I promise.

[power whirring down]

This is the perfect fall night.

[both laugh]

- I've never seen fall before.
- No.

I'm from Huntington Beach.

Well, you are in for a treat
because nothing beats New England falls.

Have you ever heard
of the Heavenly Pursuit?

- What's that?
- [gasps] Okay, well,

autumn is the time of year that the moon

after pursuing the sun since spring,
finally catches up to her,

but then he out distances her
and the whole pursuit begins again.

It's kind of like two lovers
who lose one another.

But his love is so powerful

that he spends his entire life
trying to find her.

That sounds kinda tragic.

[chuckles] Yeah.

I know, I'm a total sucker
for a tragic love story.

But I think every girl wants a moon.

- Yeah.
[chuckles softly]

This has been the coolest night.

Yeah.

I don't get it. I've lived here my whole
life and no one even knows who I am.

Come on, that's not true.

- Hi, Liza.
- Who are you?

Lonnie Gregory, your next door neighbour
for the past 17 years.

Doesn't ring a bell. Sorry.

Of course not. Hey, thanks for not
inviting me to your sweet 16.

It was beautiful from what I saw
from the window anyways.

But that's what I mean, you.

You show up four weeks ago

and now your life is like this
amazing fairy tale, right?

I keep thinking about it.

And it's a little annoying, actually,
but in a good way.

Okay, Lonnie,
I have to tell you something.

But you gotta promise me that
you won't tell anyone. Promise?

- Yeah, not even Mom.
- You sure? You talk a lot.

- I know I talk a lot. Just tell me.
- Okay, okay.

I have a magic app on my phone
and whatever I post on it, comes true.

- I'm sorry, what? What?
- [mimics explosion] It's insane.

Oh, my God! I have the same app.

- I thought I was the only one.
- Really?

Yeah, no, dude!

- Come on, you lost your mind.
- Lonnie, I'm telling the truth.

Okay, fine.
If that was even a possibility,

which I'm not saying that it is,
how would that even work?

I'll tell you.

Okay, so my phone broke, so I took it to
the mall to this bearded dude.

- Bearded dude?
- Bearded dude.

He gave me a new phone with this app
called U-NIVERSE on it.

The universe is always eavesdropping.

There's this unicorn and if the unicorn
posts a tweet in the woods

and then deletes the tweet,
does it make a sound?

Oh, man, you Californians, okay.

I'm not crazy. I'm telling you the truth.

It does sound crazy,

- because it's bullshit, all right?
- Lonnie!

Look, if anyone understands
the need for fantasy, it's me.

I mean, I spend more of my time
on Azeroth than I do on earth.

But I don't try to convince people
that I'm Archmage Khadgar the Wizard.

Maybe you guys do things
differently in California.

Maybe it's the avocados,
maybe it's the stuff everyone's smoking,

you know what I'm saying?

But we don't do things like that,
no one... What is that?

This is a gift.
This is my favourite skateboard.

- Cool.
- And I want to give it to you.

- What?
- I want you to have it.

- It's for you, come on.
- That's so awesome.

That's the nose, that's the tail,
and those two bolts are what you stand on.

Oh, I don't know, my ankles, remember?
It's the height.

- I'm afraid of heights.
- Lonnie, get on the board.

Okay, here I go, um...

[screams]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. [sniffs]

You smell like avocados.
You smell so good.

What do you put in your hair?
It's my hair's just...

- You're good.
- It's high up here.

- Does anybody get a nose bleed?
- You'll be fine.

- How high up are we?
- An inch.

That's a lot. Just... What do I do now?

You kick back and enjoy the ride.

Oh, my God, I'm getting light hands,
because it's so high.

Whoa! What's going on? I'm not
doing anything. Why is it taking off?

Whoa, I'm actually skateboard...
Get out of the way!

- Whoo!
- Look at me!

Whoa, whoa!

Did you see that? [laughs]

Look at you rip, doggie! Whoo!

Yeah!

Dude, is that Grimace?

It's me, Lonnie,
you don't know my name, that's okay.

[laughs] Yeah!

Watch this.

This is the coolest thing
I've ever done! Like, by far!

It's the best day of my life!

[groans]

- Lonnie! Lonnie!
- [all groan]

Lonnie! You all right, man?
How many fingers?

You have fingers.

Come on, let's get you up.

You gotta watch what you're eating...
I mean, going.

What are you doing? You could've hurt him.

Well, it's not my fault
he's fat and uncoordinated.

Yeah?

Well, if it's so easy...
why don't you try it?

Or are you just some pussy
in a letter jacket?

[students murmur]

Look at me, I'm riding a skateboard.

- What are you doing?
- Who's the pussy now?

- Watch this.
- It's so easy.

Whoa, what? Whoa, slow down.

Yo, what is going on? Yo, guys, stop this.

Yo, Oliver! Dude, hey, dude!

Stop, stop! Move back away!

[horn honking]

[all gasping]

Aren't you going to study
for the Spanish test?

I'm just gonna wing it.

Okay, wow, you know,
you are the only person I know

that never studies and gets all As.

- You write music?
- Oh, it's nothing.

- Sing something for me.
- No.

Okay, shut your face, it's not happening.

Dani, I don't know! I've never heard
of the game Truth or Dare before!

What are you doing? My mom will hear you.

- Dani, what are you doing?
- Kyle, stop it!

- Dani, what's going on up there?
- Nothing, Mom! Nothing!

- Stop it. You're a freak.
- [snickers]

Get over there.

If you so much as roll your eyes,
I swear I'll murder you.

All right, cross my heart and hope to die.

"Drowning?"

Mmm-hmm, yes, I know,
it sounds a little morbid,

but it's really just a conversation
between two people falling in love.

Yeah, leave it to me to write a song
that sounds like a eulogy.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait,
you gotta sing it for me.

- No, Kyle, no, you know I'm not...
- Just a few verses, please?

Just a few verses,
that's all I'm asking for.

Agh.

[singing] ♪ Seems like the love songs
Have got it all wrong ♪

♪ I thought I would fly ♪

♪ And it's getting darker
The further we fall ♪

♪ And I'm feeling high ♪

That's great, here.

I think I got it.

- Okay.
- Keep singing.

♪ Remember the time I first saw you ♪

♪ I thought you'd be mine
And it felt so good ♪

♪ One look in your eyes
And I swear I knew ♪

♪ Of your kiss, your touch, your love ♪

♪ And I can't breathe ♪

♪ I'm struggling ♪

♪ My heart's at ease ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm drowning ♪

[both] ♪ Drowning in your love ♪

[Darryl] Oh!

That w as bad, let me try it again.

Oh, so close!

I almost had it.

[indistinct conversations]

[both laughing]

[bell rings]

♪ Now, I've heard
There was a secret chord ♪

♪ That David played
And it pleased the Lord ♪

♪ But you don't really care
For music, do you? ♪

- Wait, guys, guys, hold on.
- [Mr Moody] Hold up.

What is it now, Pavarotti?

Mr Moody, Dani and I have been
working on something

- that we'd love to show you.
- Kyle, what are you doing?

Kyle, I've been doing this a long time.
I think I know what song is going to work.

I know, but Dani wrote this song
and it's tight, Mr Moody.

Just hear it out.

I'm sure it's very "tight".

It's just that this song
has a significance for me.

- Why?
- Because I sang it once.

- What for?
- Mr Pookins.

Who's Mr Pookins?

- My cat.
- You sang a song for your cat?

My dead cat. He died!
I sang it at his funeral.

Sorry.

It was a suicide.

Can we just play the song for you once,
please? You won't regret it.

- Do the short version.
- Yeah.

You got this.

♪ The ocean is heavy ♪

♪ Your current is strong ♪

♪ You're pulling me deeper ♪

♪ Been here all along ♪

[both] ♪ Remember the time
I first sawyou ♪

♪ I thought you'd be mine
And it felt so good ♪

♪ One look in your eyes
And I swear I knew ♪

♪ Of your kiss, your touch, your love ♪

I cannot believe Mr Moody is letting us
perform our song.

Our song? It's your song, I just helped.

[announcer on PA] Tonight, Hawks hockey
season opener, be there, 7:00pm.

What is with the hockey insanity?

First game of the year is tonight.

What's even worse is
the biggest game of the season

is the same night as the Slam.

I'll be so surprised
if anybody even shows up.

Hey, you all should go to the Slam!

I'm telling you, if not, you'll miss out
and you'll have to watch it on YouTube.

- Yeah, go!
- I'm telling you.

You know, nobody but you
could've got me to share my music.

Thank you. I'm happy I met you.

- I'm kind of happy I met you.
- [chuckles] You're so dumb.

[bell rings]

I gotta go to class, bye.

- Bye!
- Later, gator.

- Jesus.
- Isn't that sweet?

The lady and the tramp
were about to have their first kiss.

What's with you, Massey?

I Google Chrome-d you

and there's not a single mention of you
singing anywhere

before you came to Hayden.

Something about you stinks,
and I'm gonna figure it out.

And then I'm gonna stuff and mount you.

[Lonnie] All I'm saying is be careful.

Things are rarely what they appear to be.

Take my girlfriend from Honduras,
the bikini model, Guadalupe?

She turned out to be Phil from Cleveland.

Yeah, I got catfished,
without the TV show.

What are you getting at?

I'm saying we don't know anything
about this bearded dude.

What if he turns out to be some kind of
like, you know, master of dark arts.

Look, anything that got
my family back together, can't be bad.

Yeah, speaking of family, um,
it's my birthday Saturday

and every year, we go to my
favourite place. It's a Greek restaurant.

There's hummus and a belly dancer.

- Hm.
- Yeah, I took some lessons.

She asked me to leave, but I'm wondering

if you wanted to go, you could go,
it's gonna be lame.

- You probably... No, forget it.
- Lonnie,

of course, I'm coming to your birthday.

- I wouldn't miss it.
- Cool.

All right, I'll text you
all the deets and stuff.

[all cheering]

- That guy is such a douche.
- Yeah, but he's Emperor Douche.

And you just joined the chorus,

so you're at the bottom of the barrel,
too, you know?

[Derek] Jealous, Chorus Boy?

- No.
- Hey!

Oh, getting a little angry?

No one cares about Kyle Moore.

I own this school and there's not
a damn thing you can do about it.

Down boy.

Jokes on him, this is how I eat
my mashed potatoes, so...

Somebody has to bring that guy in check.

Yeah, somebody's gotta check him.

It would be kind of cool if you went
after the hockey team, though, right?

Beat him at his own game? [gasps]

Our own little miracle on ice.

That would be so rad, dude. So rad!

Yeah, it would.

- [whistle blows]
- Let's go! Let's go!

[players yelling indistinctly]

Come on! What are you, girls? Let's go!

Come on, get up, you push!
That's the best you got?

- You skate like my sister. Bring it in!
- [whistle blows]

Two-on-two back check drill.

If we're gonna beat the Bulldogs,
we gotta get this right.

Look who it is.

- Set it up!
- Whoa.

Can l... [groans]
Can I help you with something?

I want a try-out, Coach.

[all laughing]

Try-outs are over, all right?

That's too bad. I'm way better than Derek.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
that's a pretty big claim, son.

Let's hope you can back that up.

The ice is yours.

Can't wait to see this.

No, U-NIVERSE, we're here
to play hockey. No, no, no, no!

Not again!

[soft music playing]

What are you doing?

Whoa!

Whoa!

- [all laughing]
- You can't even do that.

I can't look away.

That is so beautiful.

- Holy smokes!
- [players] Oh!

[all cheering]

Not what I meant.

Well, kid, you're no Wayne Gretzy,
but guess what

you made the team.
Boys, meet your new equipment manager.

All right! Play time's over.
Let's go! Set them up.

Nice one, Cali.

[groans]

[sighs]

Wayne Gretzky. Why didn't I think of that?

[phone vibrates]

Let's try this again, shall we?

Hey, bitches!

Where you going?

I'm not done yet.

Okay, Frozen... [laughs]

Let's see you score on the goalie.

Wreck him.

Get the ice packs ready.

Get him!

[players yelling indistinctly]

Come on!

[all cheering]

First line, get out there!

Not you, Lowe, stay put.

- How you feeling, baby?
- I could go all night.

Well, then get out there
and take the face-off!

Jeez! Come on! Come on! All right, whoo!

How good is he? Okay, Kyle!

What are you doing?
Why aren't you out there?

[Coach] Let's go. Come on, boys!

[rock music playing]

[all cheering]

Kyle, you're so cool!

- Hey.
- What up?

What are you wearing?

It's pretty sweet, right?

You'll never guess, I just saw
a bunch of kids rocking my jersey!

- Wow.
- I can't believe it, it's insane.

You know, you missed rehearsal
this morning.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

I couldn't sleep last night
after the game.

But it won't happen again.

I'm a little worried you're not gonna have
enough time for rehearsal now.

You know that the Slam
is the same night as the game.

Dani, Chorus is way more important
to me than hockey.

I'll make it work.

Dude! I got 2,000 likes
on my last Instagram post.

What? Every time I post something,
I lose followers.

Hey, so, my parents, they are
super stoked to meet you Saturday.

Yeah, I'm psyched to meet them, too, man.

Yeah, this is funny,
they actually don't think you exist.

My dad sat me down the other day
and he was like,

- "Is this 'Kyle' another 'Gary Wiggins'?"
- Who's Gary Wiggins?

He was my imaginary friend
when I was a kid.

Not anymore, because he moved away.
He didn't leave a forwarding address.

Anyway, my parents are super excited
that you're coming,

so I'm stoked for them to see
that you're real.

- [door opens]
- Moore! [laughs]

What's up? Good, man, how are you?

Moore, come sit with us, my man.
We're celebrating tonight's win.

That's all right.
I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow.

No, no, go with them.

No, I gotta go home anyways
and do some gaming. I'm a gamer, so...

- You sure?
- Yeah, no, celebrate.

- Cool. Okay.
- Yeah, go.

- Come on.
- Yeah.

- There he is.
- Yeah!

So, where's Derek?

Probably picking the splinters
out of his ass from sitting all game.

The Zamboni saw more ice than he did.

Can I get you anything?

Yes, I'll have a cheeseburger,
fries and a shake.

Oh, my God, Cassie, what are you
gonna name your food baby?

[chuckles]

J-K, obviously, I'll just take
a stick of celery, please.

- Hi.
- Hi?

- I'm Charlotte.
- Yeah, I know.

Cool. So how's it feel to be the guy
that everyone's talking about?

I don't know if that's true.

I bought a new perfume.
Do you want to smell me?

Uh...

Yeah. I do. I mean, sure.

[sniffs]

Do you like it?

[nervously] I love it.

I'm not wearing any perfume.

[chuckles]

- Cassie's having a party this Saturday.
- I am?

Right, that party, of course, I am.

Do you have plans?

Saturday, no, I don't think so, no.

Well, now you do.

[hip-hop music playing]

[all cheering]

- What's up, man?
- Where you been, bro?

Everyone's out back.
Come on, let's go, let's go.

My man! Hey, you look thirsty.

- Let's go.
- Thanks.

- No one told me it was a costume party.
- [laughs]

Don't worry about it, bro.

- Boys! The man of the hour has arrived!
- [all cheering]

To hockey!
One-timers, slap shots and kick saves!

[all] Bone crushing hits
that send opponents to their graves.

Hat tricks, power plays and crosschecks.

Hayden Hawks hockey, it's better than sex!

[all cheering]

Drink up, boys.

It's the golden boy, the king of the ice.

Just remember, ice breaks,

and when it does,
all these people are gonna do

is hold your little,
blond hair under the water.

[all] Ew!

[laughs]

Don't worry about that.
He's sore 'cause Charlotte cut him loose.

Charlotte broke up with him?

OMG! Are you gonna pay
any attention to me tonight or what?

Hey, Cassie, sick party.

Do you like my costume?
I'm a very naughty brave.

Of course, I like it.

I wore it last year.

I don't remember th...

Want to go for a walk?

Yeah.

- Damn, he just made Derek disappear.
- I know.

[Greek music playing]

What?

We thought you were over this.

Kyle is real, Mom. Okay?

He's not another Gary Wiggins.

Of course, he's not.

- So, you break up with Derek?
- I think we just grew apart.

I'm extremely driven,

and I want the best of everything
life has to offer, and Derek,

well, he seems to be skating backwards.

I have over five million
social media followers.

I take more AP classes than anyone else.

And I'm a state champion tennis player.

I don't even like tennis, it's boring.
What about you?

Do you want the best of
everything life has to offer?

Yeah, yeah, I guess, I do.

Well, you're on your way.

You have the looks,
the grades, the popularity.

You're just missing one detail.

What's that?

Me.

Without me, you'll be idolized.

But with me, you'll be deified.

So, do you want me, Kyle?

Because I want you.

- [phone vibrating]
- Sorry.

Oh, no! I totally forgot.
I gotta go, I'm so sorry.

Our lives are made up
of seemingly simple decisions.

This decision, right here,
right now, is one of yours.

So you have to ask yourself,

do you want to be a god or don't you?

[phone camera clicks]

Dani!

- Dani, wait!
- [grunts]

Sorry.

Hey, are you okay?

That was a really cute picture
Charlotte posted of the two of you.

At least, I think it was you.
I couldn't quite tell

because she was practically
swallowing your face.

- I was gonna tell you, th...
- Why?

We're just buddies.
You don't owe me anything.

I'm happy for you, Kyle.
You're the new Derek.

Hey! Hey! I'm still me.

Are you sure about that?

Lonnie. Lonnie!

Moore! Yeah, baby, let's go!

Come on, now, kid! Moore, wake up!

- I've seen better hands on a clock!
- [whistle blows]

Get your head out of your backside!

Skate!

Oh, come on!

Congratulations, boys, that was
the worst practise we have ever had!

- What's up, Grimace?
- Douche, Grimace.

- Hey.
- What do you want?

Look, I'm sorry I missed your party,
all right?

You embarrassed me.
I thought we were friends.

We are.

Look, you don't have to be the person
people pick on any more.

You want to go on your magic app
and change me, too?

Yes!

Yes. You can be whoever,
whatever you want.

We can rule the school together.
We can do whatever.

I am who I want to be.
You're the one who changed.

You know what?
You, and that thing... that's a virus.

You've catfished yourself.

[man on speaker] Alden residence.

Kyle Moore... here.

[doorbell rings]

Hey. Oh, no, Kyle.

What? What's wrong?

You drove that old thing here?

Charlotte, it's a classic Alfa Romeo.

Hide it and take it around the back
and park it with the help.

Say something.

[clears throat]

So, Mr Alden, uh,
Charlotte tells me you're a lawyer?

Where did you say you were
from again, Carl?

It's Kyle, Daddy.

California, sir.

Sun-baked hippies.
What does your father do for work?

He was a professional skateboarder.

Professional skateboarder.

But now, well, he's an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneur, that's a fancy word
for unemployed.

[clears throat]

Kyle just got named captain
of the hockey team.

Brutish sport.
I'm going to cut to the chase.

You're a nice looking, young man.

But the truth is,
you're just not one of us.

Daddy, he's the most popular boy
at school!

It's for the best, trust me, poopy.

- Dad!
- Can I use the bathroom?

Masterson, show the boy to the washroom
and make sure he doesn't steal anything.

Now, poopy, don't pout,
you'll give yourself wrinkles.

Not one of you, huh?

Let's see what you think of me now.

So, how are we doing in here?

Kyle! I was starting to miss you, son.
Weren't we, Pet?

We certainly were.

Daddy? Are you feeling okay?

Never been better.

And Kyle, call me Dutch.
Mr Alden sounds so stodgy.

Well, Dutch, you are a bit stodgy.

To be honest, I don't know
how Kathy puts up with you.

[both laughing hysterically]

You son-of-a-gun.

You're terrible.

He's so awful, it takes me three of these
just to get through dinner.

She's ploughed 24/7.

I'm so awful,
I can't stand to be around me!

Just trying to get away from myself.

Hey, Masterson, can you stand me?
Be honest. He hates my guts!

I think it's time for dessert.

Kyle, would you give me a hand
in the kitchen?

I'd love to.

- Look.
- Enough of that.

You're the greatest.
Now there's a real man.

[sighs]

Mmm, smells good. What's cooking, Kath?

You and me.

Mrs Alden, what are you doing?

Let's run away together.
Far, far away from here.

Uh, your husband's in the other room.

I love you.
You need someone more flexible.

I was a ballerina, you know.

That's great, whoa! [groans]

Oh, I like that game.

This is out of control.
This needs to stop right now.

I'm totally out of control
and I don't give a damn!

- Hi, Pet.
- No, no, no, stop!

Hey! [groans]

Come to me, my little pet.

- Come to me!
- [Kyle shrieks]

- Mrs Alden, chill!
- Just don't ever say no.

Stop! Stop!

Oh, oh, yes! Oh, baby!

More... what?

Okay. Come on,
don't do this to me, U-NIVERSE!

U-NIVERSE, come on, what are you doing?

[Katherine] Kyle! Come back, Kyle!

[car engine starts]

- Take me with you!
- [Kyle] Oh, God!

- Take me to Paris!
- Oh, you didn't!

- Wear berets!
- Oh, goodness!

♪ Frère Jacques
Frère Jacques ♪

Send me nudes!

Wait up, wait up!

Two minutes.

What?

Uh, excuse me, ma'am?

Excuse me, have you seen the bearded dude?

Could you be a little more specific?

Real weird, makes bird noises.

He had a kiosk over here
and he sold phones.

Are you sure you're in the right mall?

Because we don't allow
sales carts in here.

Yes, I'm in the right mall.
I've seen him here twice!

Sir, are you under the influence?

I'm not even old enough to drink.
I need the U-NIVERSE app!

Sorry.

[sighs]

[Ann] You know, it's funny how everything
you want to do always falls through.

You sleep till noon every day.

You're spending money
that you don't even have.

[whispering] Maxi? What's going on?

They're fighting again.

[Ann] And I know you didn't get that job.

[Darryl] It fell through.

I mean, seriously,
what do you want me to do?

Put in an application
at the local coffee shop?

Let me tell you something,
that's never gonna happen

because that ain't me, babe.

I did not ask you to come here,
but you came here on your own.

I don't why. Do you want it to work?

Show me that you're trying!
You need to be responsible.

Don't come at me with responsibility.
You always do that.

Listen, I know about
responsibility, all right?

- Oh, do you?
- Yes.

- Do you?
- Yes.

You know, Kyle still thinks
that you wanted him to live with you,

and I pulled him away from his dad

and moved him across country,
because I'm a bad person.

And I don't dare tell him the truth,
I don't dare.

It would break his heart.

I'm sick of covering for you all the time.

I'm sick of being the bad person.

Who took a dump in Anthony's trumpet?

Nobody?

Because that's what it sounded like.
So let's try that again.

One, two, three...

[both singing] ♪ You took on the love
And played the fool ♪

♪ I found there's no getting over you ♪

♪ And all this... ♪

[whistles] All right, the only problem
I have with what you just did

is that it sounded terrible.

You know what?

Whatever's going on between you two...

figure it out, fast.

All right, from the top, here we go.

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

You can't do it? It's your song.
You wrote it!

You're gonna have to do it without me.

Wait.

You shouldn't quit. I should.

No, no, no, actually,
you shouldn't quit, either.

Neither should... stop quitting!
Everybody stop quitting!

The Slam is in five days,
you cannot quit, Kyle.

I just did.

- [marching band playing]
- [all cheering]

[Principal Kim on speaker]
Let's make some noise

for Coach Milligan and our undefeated,
hot hockey team!

Thank you. Thanks.
We came in second place last year.

One point shy of our first trip
to the state championship

in 20 long, agonising years.

The last 365 days have been
very tough on coach.

I shed a lot of tears.
My wife and dog left me.

I woke up one morning naked
in a chicken coop.

And I might have killed a man.

[clears throat]

Uh, but that is all in the past,
because tomorrow night,

we get our first shot at redemption. Yes!

[all cheering]

The reign of the Bulldogs is over!

This is the year of the Hawks!

[all cheering]

I would like to hand the stage
over to the captain of our team

and the man who is
gonna lead us all the way

to the Connecticut Cup, Kyle Moore!

- [all cheering]
- [marching band playing]

Wow, thanks. Thanks so much.

It's been a fast and furious ride
ever since I got here.

Don't you mean fast and fraudulent ride?

[feedback blares]

He's got you all believing
he's a singer, and a hockey player

and worst of all...

a heterosexual.

But he's none of these things.

Not without his magic app!

What?

He's got a magic app on his phone

that allows him to be whoever
and whatever he wants.

This boy you all worship is a lie.

- You're an idiot! Boo!
- [all booing]

It's the truth! I'm telling you!

Did you hear me? It's a magic app.

- On his phone!
- All right, come on, let's go, buddy.

- He's a nobody! He's a nobody!
- [microphone feedback]

Wait, wait!

Hold on.
I gotta be honest about some things.

It's true, four or five weeks ago,

I'd never played
a game of hockey in my life.

I never ice skated.
I've never even held a stick.

He's like the Roy Hobbs of hockey.

No, listen to me. I don't deserve
any of this attention. I'm...

An incredibly modest superstar!

No! I'm trying to tell you!
I'm a fake, a phoney!

I don't even know who I am!

- A role model to everyone here tonight.
- Exactly!

Unless we lose to the Bulldogs,
and then he's dead to every one of us.

Let's light this fire!

[all cheering]

Kyle?

Dani! Dani, wait, please.

What do you want from me, Kyle?
You have everything.

You have the fame, the glory.
You even have the girl.

- What more could you possibly want?
- I don't want any of it.

This, these clothes, this isn't me.
You know that.

If I could take it all back right now,

if I could erase everything, I would.

- Okay, then why don't you?
- Because I can't.

You can't?

Look...

everything Brian said was true.

There's this app
and everything I wish for comes true.

And I wished that I could sing,
so I could get close to you

and then it happened, and then,
so did everything else.

And I wanna take it all back, Dani,
but there's nothing I can do.

Let me just get this straight.

You've been a jerk because of an app?

- I know it sounds crazy.
- You know what's even crazier?

I wrote "Drowning" the day after
you took me on the Ferris wheel.

Hey, can I have your autograph?

Look, it's been a really long...

- [groans]
- Whoo!

Turn down for what? [grunts]

[soft music playing]

[knock on door]

- You ready to get up?
- I'm not going to school today.

What now?

I just don't want to go.

Well, that's not really a reason.

You have to convince me
to let you stay home.

What is it? What's going on with you?

I posted some things on social media,
and I've hurt people.

And it all keeps getting worse,
and I've really messed up.

Okay, well, when you mess up,
and you're gonna mess up,

the only thing you can do is
take ownership of it

and try to make it right, that's it.

It's like ripping off a Band-Aid.

It's gonna hurt,
but just do it and it's done.

And look, social media,
that stuff isn't real, you know that.

It's just everybody's highlight reel

of the stuff they want you to see.
It's all bullshit.

It's bullshit with a filter on it,
to make it look pretty.

Let's eat.

Get up.

Hey, Mom...

you look really pretty today.

Thank you, but you still
have to go to school.

Ugh, good morning, family, huh?

- What's for breakfast? I'm starving.
- [Ann] French toast.

French toast, sounds good.
Hey, you know what?

We should go down to the park and do some
skating today, that's what we should do.

Well, how's that job going, Dad?

Wow, right out of the gates, huh? Just...
[explosion sound]

Well, if you gotta know,
um, that one didn't pan out.

I gotta lot of good leads, though,
so don't sweat it.

More importantly, do we got any powdered
sugar to go with that French toast?

Only Annie knows the answer.
Annie, talk to me!

- Powdered sugar!
- Wait, Mom, sit down.

[snickers] You okay, killer?
You're acting a little weird.

I'm fine.

But Mom's not getting your breakfast
today or any other day.

The free ride stops right now.

What are you talking about?
What's going on? Did I miss something?

- Did you say something?
- Darryl.

- You said something. He's all worked up.
- Leave her out of this.

- This is about me and you.
- Is it?

- Yeah.
- All right.

Well, what is it about you and me?

When Mom moved me away from you...

I was so angry...

and hurt, and alone.

She took me away
from my best friend, my hero.

I would have done anything
for you to come back in my life

but the truth is...

you didn't even want me.

You didn't even want me.

I was so wrong, and I made Mom
go through hell because of it.

But Mom, Maxi and I, we deserve
somebody who wants to be with us,

and you deserve to live your life.

As hard as that is...

I get it now.

Maxi? You feel the same way?

Grampa, I know how you feel. All right.

I guess you're the man of the house.
Congratulations.

I'm gonna go get my breakfast elsewhere.

- Xing-fu, hey.
- Hey.

[in Mandarin]

Xing-fu.

Hey, Kyle.

I'm sorry for being
such a lousy, little sister.

- I could do a lot worse.
- [chuckles]

[knock on door]

- Hi, Mr Gregory?
- Yes?

I'm Kyle Moore,
I just wanted to drop by and say hello.

I'm Lonnie's friend.

Good God in Heaven, you're real.

Honey! Honey! Come quick!

What is it?

This is Kyle, Lonnie's friend.

Did he put you up to this?
Is he paying you?

No, Lonnie's really my friend.

To be honest,
he's actually my best friend.

[chuckles]

Hey, Lonnie.

I gotta go, but it was great
meeting you guys.

- The pleasure's ours.
- Come back again. Soon! Please!

Lonnie!

- Wait up, man!
- Leave me alone, Kyle.

Hey, don't push off
with your front foot, that's mongo.

Don't tell me what to do.

Hey, so get this,
I met this guy in Cleveland,

says he's a bikini model named Phil.

You're lucky you're my only friend.

I'm back, buddy.

[all laughing]

Kyle? Kyle! What are you doing?

If it isn't the Prince of popularity.

What are you doing over here
with us lepers?

You don't look so good, bud.

Well, let's see, I lost my girl,
I lost my scholarships.

Coach demoted me to fourth line.

My friends want nothing to do with me

and now my dad's talking about
sending me to military school.

So yeah, life's great.
I'm doing fantastic.

- You got something on your face.
- I don't care.

What is Kyle doing with that loser?

- So gross.
- I can't believe I dated him.

Ugh! I can't believe I slept...

Um, through third period.

LOL.

Come on, Derek, where's that clean cut,
confident guy

that I hated a few months ago?

He's you now. I gotta go.

Wait, wait, wait.

Look, man, this isn't me.

I don't want to be this guy.

I want to help you get on top again.

I don't know what your game is, all right?

But if you're looking to bury me
some more, give it your best shot.

There's no angle here.

I just want to make things right.

[music playing]

[Dani singing] ♪ I thought you'd be mine
And it felt so good ♪

♪ One look in your eyes
And I swear I knew ♪

♪ Love, your kiss, your touch... ♪

[whistles] Hold on, everybody.
Hold on, thank you.

Dani, what's the matter, honey?
Talk to me.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, it's the song,
it was written as a duet.

I don't think I can sing it.

It's beautiful and you sing it so well.

It just doesn't feel right any more.

Is there any way we could go
back to "Hallelujah"...

please?

Oh, my God, these girls
with their boy problems. [groans]

Okay, everybody, "Hallelujah",
from the top.

[Mr Moody] All right,
you remember how that goes.

Horns, you want to get your
spittle out now

so we don't have to watch that later?
Here we go.

Whoa!

Charlotte, hey, didn't see you stalking...
standing there.

Hmm.

Have you been ignoring me?

No, why would I be ignoring you?
No, I've just...

You've been ignoring my texts,
you've been ignoring me at lunch.

You ignored me at the bonfire.
I will not be ignored, Kyle.

- Shh!
- Shut up! I will eat your children!

Okay.

[door closes]

I don't want to fight you.

I just want to love you.

Mmm.

[snickers] I love you so much.

We're gonna be together forever.

Good luck at the game tonight.

I'll be watching every little step.

Oh, my God.

[cheering]

[chanting] Let's go Hawks! Let's go Hawks!

[Kyle] So, that's the end of my story.

Where it goes from here,

only the universe knows.

This my life now.

I have to live it.

But, I'm gonna live it my way.

[announcer on PA] Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome your very own,

number 17, Kyle Moore!

How many goals you got in you tonight,
superstar?

- More than they do.
- [laughs]

That's my boy!
Go out there and take the face-off!

Come on, now.

That's my boy, Kyle. You are my boy!

All right now, let's play as a team!

Okay.

Yeah, boys, let's go, boys!

[coach] Let's win this face-off, let's go!

Hey, Moore, I got your number tonight.
I'm gonna light you up.

Let's see what you got?

Whoo!

That's my best friend.
That's my best friend.

- I love you!
- I love you, too!

Go get him, son!

Up! Up!

[coach yells indistinctly]

Look for the opening!

Nice.

Nice move! Move it up.
Up the ice, up the ice.

- [whistle blows]
- No!

What the...

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!

Where does it hurt?

It hurts right there where
you're touching it, ow.

Sorry, my bad. Listen, look at me!
I'm gonna tell you a story.

I once played with a broken back,
a broken pubis

a broken leg, an infected urethra,

and one hell of an epic hangover!

So you are gonna be fine!

Now help him up! Jeez!

Okay, he's good. He's okay!

[crowd gasps]

I can't do it, Coach. I can't do it.

So that's a no? Or...

Don't make me do it, Coach.

Get him off the ice. [exclaims]

Why, God, why?

[sobs]

Back to the chicken coop.

- Coach!
- What?

Put me in.

- Coach.
- What?

- Stop crying.
- I'm not crying.

Stop it. I'm gonna win this game for us.

- Coach!
- Yeah.

Listen to me, put me in.

- Okay.
- Now.

Okay, you're in. Go get them, kid!
Go get them, kid!

[crowd cheering]

- Get back out there, guys.
- [groans]

I'll find you a doctor.

Oh, that was awesome.
You totally deserve an Oscar.

- Have you thought about acting?
- I wasn't acting.

- Oh, sorry, dude.
- So, we gotta go.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Text my sister.

- Have everyone meet us at the Slam.
- Okay.

- Dude, why'd you park there?
- It's super cool!

[groans]

Ah!

- I'm good.
- What are you doing?

Just got excited.

[singing]
♪ Crimson and clover over and over ♪

♪ Crimson and clover over and over ♪

- [music ends]
- [crowd cheering]

Nice, Lonnie.

Speed Racer.

Wait! Wait up!

- You'll have to get through me first.
- [sighs]

The Cutler High School band and chorus.

All right, this is your big moment.

If you go out there
and do what you can do,

you will fail because you're not ready
and you're not talented.

I am so nervous, I'm sweating
like a wino in a liquor store.

We're all gonna die.
I have gas. Is there a toilet?

- Mr Moody!
- Oh, hello!

When are you gonna get the message
to stay away from my girl?

Brian, you're gay.

And that's okay, just be yourself.

- Whoa!
- Too soon?

But, I th... Okay.

- You're gonna need this.
- Thank you.

All right, go get them, man. Whoo!

Ladies and gentleman, next up,
our very own Hayden Hawks!

Okay, kids, talent does what it can,
genius does what it must.

But you do what no one else wants to do,

go out there and stick to your guns,
even though they're not loaded.

And remember,
Mr Pookins is listening from heaven.

So a big meow for him.
Meow, but not too loud.

[all] Meow.

Let's go, come on.

[audience applause]

[music plays]

[singing] ♪ Now I've heard there
Was a secret chord ♪

♪ That David played
And it pleased the Lord ♪

♪ But you don't really care
For music do you ♪

[guitar playing]

[singing]
♪ The ocean is heavy ♪

♪ Your current is strong ♪

"Drowning, Drowning!"

♪ You're pulling me deeper ♪

Come on.

♪ Been here all along ♪

♪ Remember the time I first saw you ♪

♪ I thought you'd be mine
And it felt so good ♪

♪ One look in your eyes
And I swear I knew ♪

♪ Of your kiss, your touch, your love ♪

♪ And I can't breathe ♪

♪ I'm struggling ♪

♪ My heart's at ease ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm drowning ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm drowning in your love ♪

♪ It seems like the love songs
Have got it all wrong ♪

♪ I thought I would fly ♪

♪ No fly, no fly ♪

♪ And it's getting darker
The further we fall ♪

♪ But I'm feeling high ♪

♪ So high, so high ♪

♪ I took on the lies and played the fool ♪

♪ I found there's no getting over you ♪

♪ And all of this time I never knew ♪

♪ Of your kiss, your touch, your love ♪

♪ And I can't breathe ♪

♪ I'm struggling ♪

♪ My mind's at ease ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm drowning ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm drowning in your love ♪

♪ Oh, don't you break my heart now ♪

♪ Don't leave me wanting more ♪

♪ Give me love
Give me someone to hold ♪

♪ Messing with the stars
It indeed is very far ♪

♪ Oh, no
Oh, no ♪

♪ I'll never break your heart
You're what I'm looking for ♪

♪ All I need is you forever more ♪

♪ Messing with the stars
It indeed is very far ♪

♪ Oh, no
Oh, no ♪

♪ And I can't breathe ♪

♪ I'm struggling ♪

♪ My heart's at ease ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm drowning ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm drowning in your love ♪

♪ Drowning in your ♪

- ♪ Drowning ♪
- ♪ Drowning ♪

- ♪ Drowning ♪
- ♪ Drowning ♪

♪ Drowning in your love ♪

♪ In your love ♪

♪ Messing with the stars ♪

♪ Drowning in your love ♪

[cheering]

[screaming]

Thank you, Mr Pookins. Meow.

Yeah!

What are you doing here?

Dani, I know I hurt you.

I was an idiot, I'm sorry.

Can you forgive me?

Hey, take a bow!

I got my life back.

Dani, I got my life back.

[indistinct chatter]

[girl] That was so good!

Thanks.

Kyle?

You're about as authentic
as a Mexican Prada handbag.

So this, we're done, okay?
Have a good life.

- Kyle!
- Hey!

[all laughing]

That was amazing. Oh, my God.

- You killed it.
- I cried.

- Thanks, Mom.
- I cried.

That was pretty dope, dude.
I helped him, so he's my best friend.

- Wow.
- What's Dad doing here?

Um, he just wants to say goodbye.

- Oh.
- Go on.

- Hey, killer.
- Hey.

That was some performance in there.
Holy cow!

[snickers] Thanks.

So, look, I think I'm gonna hit the road.

I just think it's the best thing
for everyone.

Take care of them.

I will.

If you ever need anything...

I know, Dad.

[sighs]

[sighs]

You okay?

How could I not be?

- Aw, group selfie!
- Oh, Kyle, come here.

Everyone ready?
On three. One, two, three.

[kid] Hey, man.

Hey!

Hey, Kyle.

Hey, remember my neighbour?
She knows who I am now. What?

[girl] Hi, Kyle!

Dani, I just wanted to say,
whatever happens...

I'm happy I met you.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm kinda happy I met you, too.

[pop music plays]

Hi, sorry to bother you.

If it's not too much trouble,

would you be able to fix my phone?
It doesn't, um... work.

You want to go to Vegas?

Uh, I should call my wife.

Yeah, your phone's broken.

Uh...

[music playing]