State Park (1988) - full transcript
An evil business man wants to build a pesticide factory next to an old city park, with secret plans to dump toxic waste in the area. The man's biggest problem is a local male protester who dresses into a bear costume and does everything he can to prevent this ecological disaster. Meanwhile, different teens with different stories get their lives crossed as they intend to participate in saving the park.
- Okay, one minute.
Lockdown, all clear.
It's the bear, let's get him.
Hit the fence.
- Youch that hurt.
A little electricity
won't phase me.
I think I singed my bear suit.
I gotta put a stop
to this stuff.
Nobody's gonna trash my park.
They call me Weewankah Willie,
named after the park.
Ah, this'll do the trick.
Before Mr. B. Morris
Rancewell got here,
this was a wonderful place.
A place where you
could kick back,
relax and enjoy nature.
But he's ruining everything.
Ripping up the land with
that factory of his.
I know there's something
else going on there.
And when I find out what it is,
I'm gonna blow the lid
off his entire operation.
Mm, I'm gonna stop Rancewell
and I'm gonna save
Weewankah Park.
* Ah
* Oh yeah
* State Park
* Oh oh oh
* State Park
* Oh
* Ah
* Ha ha ha ha
* State Park
* Ah
- Driving straight
through LA Louis
might not have been
a great idea.
- You're doing great,
Johnny boy,
only 48 hours to go.
We're going to blow
the skylights
out of the Hollywood Bowl, man.
- So linnie, was Eddie
upset about this trip?
- No, he told me to
have a good time.
It'll be the longest
we've ever been apart.
- Ahhhh.
- Linnie, you should take
advantage of your freedom
from Eddie this week,
especially after the way
he went out on you.
- Give me a break.
That was in the 8th grade.
- So.
- Besides, we're
definitely getting married.
- Mm-hmm.
- That was old news.
Come on, you guys have
been going to
get married since we were
at Junior High.
- No, it's official.
We picked out the rings
and everything.
I'm quitting school and
going with him
when he goes back to
college this fall.
- Freak me out, you're kidding?
- Well, there's a lot
more to this world
than just books and homework,
Marsha.
There's fascinating people,
exotic places
and real life experiences.
- Yo, Rocket.
Am I keeping you awake?
- Oh man, you drive.
I've got to get some sleep.
- Don't worry about a thing,
my man.
I know a place where
we can crash.
Weewankah Park.
Less than an hour away on I-75.
They've got showers, RV hookups,
swimming, boating, fishing,
water skiing.
We can camp out just
like the pioneers, man.
- Don't worry, Eve.
We're the three musketeers,
remember?
We'll help you get ready
for that race.
- I've gotta win or else
all my plans for school,
my entire future, goes
right down the toilet.
I can't believe this
could happen to me.
- It's happening all over.
I mean, things aren't so
great at my place either.
We weren't able to get
new cars this year
and I bet I get hardly
any really good clothes
for school.
- She's right, you know, Eve.
Bankruptcy's no big
deal anymore.
My dad's best friend
went bankrupt.
- I thought he went to
jail and committed suicide.
- That was much later.
- Dammit, Louis.
What arr you doing?
- Attention
Weewankah campers,
four more days until the
wilderness challenge race.
Anyone interested in
participating,
pick up an entrance
form at the front gate.
- What is going on down there?
It's just like an East
German water check.
- What's this?
- An old beer can, Sir,
probably been in there
for months.
- Pat him down, McDermott.
You know what the penalty
is for open container, boy?
You see that sign?
- Welcome to Weewankah Park.
No skateboards.
No roller skates.
- No alcoholic beverages,
smart mouth.
- Those guys
are so cute.
- We run a clean park here.
Now, I'm going to give
you two the chance
to get the hell out or
I bring you downtown
and I book you on a 501.
- Oh no, they're
getting kicked out.
- Rules are rules, son.
You shouldn't have tried
to smuggle it past me
the way you did.
You're a disgrace to
your uniform.
- Excuse me, Sir.
What's the holdup?
- Pardon?
What kind of a smart ass
question is that?
- Well I just--
- I know your type.
You probably have a car
that has a bumper sticker
that says, question authority.
- How does that guy rate?
- That guy just happens
to be the sponsor
of the Weewankah
Wilderness Place...
Race!
Take over.
- Come on, McDermott,
let's clean up this mess.
- Down the lake there,
cut down those trees,
level that mountain up
there, pour the concrete.
So you see why I had to
get the parks concession
rights, Bob.
This place is totally
inadequate for my needs.
Excuse me, son, but you
should be packing
not restocking.
Didn't you get the notice?
- I must've missed it.
- I don't see how.
Several were sent.
You've got to be out of
here by tomorrow.
- No!
I don't think I can do that.
You may have to send me
another notice,
maybe even a court order.
- So that's how it is.
When escrow closes on your land,
and it will, I had
planned to lease it
back to you for awhile, but now,
if I were you, I'd get a tent
and start looking for a
nice permanent campsite.
Get packing, kid.
- Don't look now, but
it's Mr. Rocky Horror Show
in person.
- I don't know, Marsha,
if he did something
with his hair, he'd
be kinda cute.
- He's a heavy metaler.
He's a disgusting low-life.
- Yo, Rocket.
If you're gonna work on
a new costume,
stay in the truck.
Yo, Rocket.
Was it something I said?
- See what I mean about
heavy metalers?
Violence is so passé.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Does anyone need
entry forms for
the Wilderness Challenge?
- Yes.
- Enjoy your stay, ladies.
- I know it's unorthodox, Olive.
My mind's made up.
This sort of behavior
is unacceptable.
And I intend to stop it.
- You're offering a reward
for the capture
of Weewankah Willie?
- This perpetrator did
not only desecrate
our parks proud symbol
of conservation,
but destroyed Mr.
Rancewell's property.
And after all he's done
for Weewankah.
- Thank you, Carl.
- This morning's
incident will put
Mr. Rancewell's construction
behind a whole day.
If they don't lay in the
foundation before
the weather changes,
the whole project
will be thrown right
off schedule.
- Thank you, Carl.
Now Olive, in the past
we've had our differences.
But stopping
vandalism is something
we can agree on.
- The department has
already told me
to cooperate with you.
But there's very little
we'll ever agree on.
Selling wilderness land to
people like you
may or may not help the
national debt,
but really, Mr. Rancewwell,
a pesticide plant right
next to the park grounds?
- This factory is
ecologically designed
to blend in with the
areas wilderness.
That's the beauty of it, Olive.
Nature and industry,
working together.
* Go Rockin Robin cause
we're really *
* Gonna rock tonight
* Every little swallow,
every chick-a-dee *
* Every little bird in the
tall oak tree *
- Yo, Rocket!
You still sleepin'?
- Yes!
- You outta check this out.
Your loss.
- Come on you guys.
This is a great campsite.
It's not nearly so crowded.
- There's a reason for that,
Marsha.
- Superb spot, Coslow.
Nothing like the smell
of the great outdoors.
- Well at least we won't
have far to go.
- I'll be right back, I
promised Eddie
I'd call as soon as we got here.
- Old people.
Weird, man.
Fire.
Wilderness Challenge Race.
5,000 bucks.
- No, it doesn't work like that.
Have to keep taking them
whether you're
doing it or not.
My boyfriend doesn't understand
about birth control pills.
I know, Eddie.
It'll be great.
While you're taking
your classes,
I'll be in beauty school.
And we'll be together
forever and ever--
- Hi Brian.
- And ever.
- Hello again.
- Nature and industry
working together.
That's swell.
- You better believe it, Ranger.
- Boy this
really burns me up.
Who coulda done this?
- Environmentalists.
I've had trouble with
them before.
- Like those earth
guardians tried to firebomb
your other pesticide plant.
- They're all the same.
Too bad I'm only allowed
to exterminate insects.
- Hey!
Who did this?
You earth guardians
think freedom of speech
gives you the right to
trample the rights
of others.
Well it won't work with me.
Got it?
I want you outta here now.
- You're
kicking us out?
Why?
- Let's just say you're
trying to camp
in an unauthorized area.
- But we have reservations.
- Pick up your gear,
get out!
I don't want to see
you or your kind
in this park again.
- What is that guys problem?
- I know a place you can camp.
- I've done all I can to keep
out the radical elements, Sir?
- If you still want to
be chief of security
for Rancewell Industries,
you're gonna have to
do more than that, Smite.
- Trailor, where are
you taking us?
- This is Honeycutt property.
My brother, Truckie
and I own it.
- Are you sure this'll be safe?
- Oh, well I can come back
later and check on you.
- No, really, it's fine.
We can manage, but thank
you for everything.
Oh, listen, you know,
I'm going to go check
for some firewood, okay?
- See ya later.
This is going to be so fun.
I feel just like the
Wilderness Family.
- Wait till he comes
out the door.
He comes out the door, that's
when you start shootin'.
- I'll be, I got him.
- Oh wait a minute.
I got two of them, you
will have none.
Now you've got to finally
come out the door.
Play fair.
- I know, I know.
- How do you feel, John?
Did you get some rest?
- I feel fine, Louis.
- You're absolutely amazing,
man.
You ran what, at least 20 miles,
right?
You jump off a moving truck,
run off the road, through woods,
up hills,
in streams, over rocks
and who knows
what else, in less
than two hours.
With plenty of energy
left to beat
the living shit outta me.
Incredible.
- Why are you grinning at
me like that for, Louis?
- I gpt one word for you,
man, The Wilderness Challenge.
The winner gets five grand, man.
Know what that'll buy?
- Amplifiers?
- Power.
We could get a stack of
Marshall's that'll blow
the skylights outta the
Hollywood Bowl, man.
- Look, we have to get to LA.
If you wanna super group,
we gotta find
the rest of the super group.
- You need top notch
equipment to get
top notch players, man.
If you'd win this money,
we'd have the wattage
to get someone like...
Ted Nugent to jam with us, man.
- I'm starving.
Can we put on the hot dogs
and hamburgers?
- Yes, the rest of the
food's in the ice chest.
- Ice chest?
- Oh shit.
- What do we have left?
- Well the potatoes
will be enough.
I love baked potatoes.
- Now I'm going to cook
you a big juicy steak.
Get some protein on those bones.
- What the hell's that?
- Moose, deer, I don't
think they knew for sure.
These hunters were
running out of the woods
and they just gave it to me,
man.
Sometimes people can be so
damn wonderful.
- Now, the outside may
be just a tad burnt,
but that's normal.
Just peel that part off.
- Who wants chives?
- Mine's a rock.
- Too well done?
- No, no, mines a real rock.
My potato must still
be in there someplace.
- I can't see what I'm eating.
Are your chives kinda furry?
- Gonna need a lot of
fire to fry this sucker.
- Louis.
- Best vitamins you can get.
- Louis.
- Come from wild game.
- I'm not
going to eat that.
- Fire, fire.
Hurry.
- I'm Tallahassee Ray.
This is my wife, Ethel.
- Pleased to meet ya, honey.
- What a great effect, man.
We could use that in
our stage show, Rocket.
- Every night I get into
this bear suit and sneak
around that construction site.
Trying to find proof
that Rancewell
is up to something.
And I try and leave him a
little present.
Just to remind him that I'm
always watching.
Maybe this skunk catcher
will slow them down.
One day I'll find the
proof I need.
Rancewell's not going
to take my land.
And he'll never finish
that factory.
- Shhh.
- What, I have to get
this blown up.
- Shhh.
Do the blowjob later.
There's something out there.
Oh, my God.
It moved.
Did you see it?
- It's just a tree.
- Then what was that sound?
- It was just...
The wind.
I'm going to sleep.
Way to go gang.
We just killed Marsha's
eel-skinned belt.
- Weewankah Willie
has a great ass.
- Mm, the perpetrator was
wearing fake bear feet.
- Smite,
come to the construction site
right away.
- Ranger Smite will
have this taken care of
in no time, Mr. Rancewell.
- What can I do for you, Sir?
- Get rid of these, now!
- Have a good day, Carl.
- Hey Carl.
Maybe a bath in tomato
juice will help
take care of the smell.
- And so the Wilderness
Challenge is divided
into three main sections:
Swimming,
kayaking, and the
orienteering force.
Now we have classes for
each leg of the race
to help you improve your
skills in any or all
of these areas.
So after you finish registering,
you can sign up for the classes,
with the ranger at the
appropriate desk, okay?
Thank you very much.
- Okay, Dick Smith and Jane Doe.
I guess you're all set.
- Excuse me.
- Hey dudes, didn't
I see you two
on that TV show, USA Pro
Sports Roundup?
You know, if you hadn't
been disqualified for--
- You have never seen us before.
- Okay, Eve.
You're registered.
Did you want to take
any classes?
- Yeah, the only one I
really need is orienteering.
I don't know anything about it.
- I'm sorry, those
classes are full.
- Me too, Eddie.
I'm gettin' worked up
just thinking about it.
It turns me on.
I can't help it.
It happens every time
I give you a haircut.
Something about it just
gets me so hot.
- Well I guess you might
as well forget about
the scholarship, huh?
- Trailor, what do you think?
Is there anybody...
- Mm, of course I did.
- Trailor.
- Sorry.
- Have you heard
anything I've said?
- Sure, you need somebody
to teach you orienteering.
- Well?
- Well...
I know someone who could do it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
My brother, Truckie.
He's the beat there is.
- Hi.
Do you need some help there?
- No thanks.
- You sure?
I'm really good at
mechanical things.
I'm the only one at my house
that can fix a jacuzzi filter.
- Could you hand me that
crescent wrench?
- You know, I believe we
should all help
one another whenever we can,
don't you?
It's the spirit of the 80s.
- The crescent wrench.
- My name is Eve, what's yours?
- Truckie.
- Oh, that's a
cute nickname.
Did you get it playing sports?
- Nope, it's my real name.
When I was born my mom said
she got bigger than
a Mack truck.
- Oh here, look, let me do that.
I find this so rewarding.
Ow.
- Look, I can't teach you
orienteering this week.
I'm too busy.
I overheard you talking
to my brother.
- Why did you let me go
through all that?
- Well it's in the
spirit of the 80s.
I didn't want to deprive
you of the rewards
of helping me.
- How thoughtful.
- Please don't do that again.
I told you not to do that again.
- Wah!
- What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Don't do that.
Don't you dare.
Help, put me down.
Put me down!
- Yes, ma'am.
- No!
- Take it easy, Eve.
You should be out
swimming anyway.
Start gettin' in shape
for your big race.
- Who do you think you are?
I know that ass.
Speaking of rewards.
If you don't teach me what
I need to know,
I just may collect the one
on you, Willie.
- Come on, Linnie.
You can't get married.
You don't buy the first
dress you try on.
You've got to shop around.
- All right, I admit, I
wondered about
other guys.
- See?
- But I'm having a good
time just appreciating...
Nature.
- You've been out of
action too long.
Look, shoulders back, tummy in.
I'll show you how it's done.
Follow me.
* Oh
* Ha ha ha ha
* Oh oh oh
Nice boat.
- Thanks.
- We were wondering
what it's like
on the other side of the lake.
- It's pretty much
the same as here
except there's more trees.
- I can't believe it.
If they were any dumber...
You'd have to water them.
- Hope to see you around.
- One word, just one word.
- I bet we could get those girls
to go on a boat ride
with us sometime.
You know what I mean?
- You know it, dude.
- In orienteering you
make your way through
the wilderness using a
map and a compass
to find checkpoints marked
by flags like these.
Now, at each flag is
a coded punch
which you use to punch
your control card.
Now there's six checkpoints
in The Wilderness Challenge
and you have to find them
in the order indicated.
- Okay.
- Now did you study the
section under map reading?
- Not yet.
- Come on, how
are you going to know
what I'm talking about?
Orienteering's a thinking sport.
You have to use your mind
as well as your body.
- I use both quite well,
thank you.
I was the best on my swim team
at the 200 meter freestyle
and only one girl
ever beat me and that's
because she cheated.
- Oh but of course you
would never do anything
like that, would you?
- No, I wouldn't.
- Well I'm glad to know
I'm being blackmailed
by a real straight shooter.
* Like some information
* What is there to do
* I remember reading it
on the line *
* How you work from
bed to noon *
* And you don't need to tell
* Of how you make your mark
* I don't really wanna
know how much *
* Just wanna know what for
* Could you wait on a
dime my dear *
* But don't do it lying down
* What do you put on a resume
* If you never had to
leave this town *
* And what is your position
* In his company
* What are your
fringe benefits *
* And can you say
that perfectly *
* You know you're
disappointing *
* Hope I am wrong
* But you not the same person
* That I knew so well
* That I used to know
* Will you wait on a
dime my dear *
* But don't do it lying down
* What do you put on a resume
* If you never had to
leave this town *
- Nice stroke.
- Pardon?
- Your stroke, you're a
good swimmer.
- Thanks.
And a nice bathing suit.
- Shoot, this old faded thing.
I've had it for weeks.
- Hi.
Like some lemonade?
It's so hot today.
- That's really sweet of you,
Trailor.
Thank you.
Mm, it's good.
- I was wondering if
maybe you'd like to
come to a party I'm
having tonight.
It's sort of a promotional
thing I'm putting on
for the race this week
and I was just...
- Truckie.
I swear when this is all
over I'll find
some way to make it up to you,
okay?
Ow!
- Next time why don't
you just try
wearing some clothes to cover up
your arms and legs, all right?
- I know you think I'm
some dumb yuppie
who's gotten anything
she's ever wanted, right?
Some bimbo who hasn't
had to work hard
for anything in her life.
Well I'm going to tell
you something.
Recently my whole world
practically fell apart.
My parents just went bankrupt.
- Your parents went bankrupt
and you flip out?
- Don't you understand,
I needed this scholarship
to get into college.
My parents can't afford it.
- My parents aren't
around anymore.
And Trailor works his butt off
to save for college.
Now let's see if we can get
the rest of the way through this
sample course without having
another breakdown, all right?
Come on, Eve, let's go.
- Have you seen this?
It's a great blue herring.
It's a huge bird.
It's wings make a noise
when it flies.
Here's a picture of it.
Look at its feet.
It holds onto branches that way.
- You know, I know a little bit
about birds myself.
From here I can see a
long-legged goat sucker.
- Oh look, Linnie.
A big red Cockaded.
- You know, Raymond,
you should let me
give you a haircut.
The sides are a little long.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Yes, whew!
- Not bad.
Think we outta knock off
till tomorrow though.
- Oh, feeling a tad
humiliated about to
move me down now, huh?
Come on, come on.
Let's do it again.
- Hey.
I'm serious.
You outta take it easy.
This is the first day.
- Wait a minute, who's
calling the shots here,
huh, huh, what's the
matter coach?
Does it annoy you to
see me ,
tearing up the woods and
ripping up your name, huh?
- Okay, boss.
Do it again.
* Whenever life can be tough
* And it starts to get me down
* I stop and think
about her touch *
* And it brings me back around
* You see, I'm just a
simple man *
* You know, I love the
simple life *
* I live to do the
things that I can *
* And I'm my best when
she's on my side *
* I need her heart
closer to mine *
* I need her heart
beating in time *
* I need her heart
* To ease me through the night
* I like a lover in the night
* And her moves can help me go
* A little love and
I'm all right *
* She fills me full of hope
- Thanks for helping
me clock my swim time.
And helping me out today.
- It was fun.
- What is this?
- Japanese silk.
You're not like anyone
I ever hung out with.
- You too.
- Okay.
We can quit now.
Come on, it's
starting to get dark.
Dammit, Truckie.
I found all your stupid
little flags but one.
Where are you?
- Did I scare you?
- Drop dead, I'm going home.
- Ah.
Don't move.
- Am I about to be attacked
by some wild animal
or can you just not
stand to see me go?
- No, I got booby traps
set all around here.
- Oh, wait, I recognize this.
This is where you stashed
your bear costume.
Okay, in that case,
the campsites this way.
Or is it that way?
- You're the champion orienteer.
Can't you find your way
back to your own campsite?
- Ha ha.
God, I'm pooped, I just
want to crawl
into my sleeping bag
and pass out.
* We went in right
through the window *
* I got a gal, she's
gotta move *
* Now come on in now, you
won't be alone *
* For 10 dollars you feel
right at home *
* It's a power like you
did the other night *
* So I keep enough to pay
* It's a night like any other
- Hey, what do you
want to drink?
We've got Bud, Heiny, Falstaff,
Light,
Coors, some Coors Lite.
- Eve, major party time.
How do I look?
Too much?
It was either this
or Anne Klein.
- Eve, this is Rob.
Rob's a Virgo.
He's into computers and
science fiction
and entomology.
He's been telling me all about
the Northeastern spit bug.
- Great, wait till
you meet Johnny.
You're gonna die.
You're just gonna die.
- Eve, we're gonna go look
for Lampyridae with tourists.
- I'm telling you, Eve,
this is the real thing.
Johnny's so cool.
He's funny and smart
and good-looking.
Who invited them?
- Who invited anybody?
- Hey, there's a music box.
- Heavy metalers shouldn't
be allowed in the park.
They're such...
- Hi.
I'm Johnny Rocker.
- I'm Eve Murphy.
I've heard a lot about you.
- So, wanna dance?
- I can't.
I have a boyfriend.
- Yeah, we're talking to Ted
Nugent about playing for us.
It's like I told him
the other day
when we were doing lunch, Nuge,
babe,
I hear you're looking
to jam with the best.
- We're goin'.
- What are you talkin, we
just got here.
- We're goin'.
- Hey, come back here tiger.
- Help, help,
please.
Help me, somebody.
Please.
Help me.
Help me, please, somebody.
Help me, get me out of here.
Please, somebody, help.
Willie.
Gee, thanks a lot, Willie,
for saving me.
Come on, don't walk
away, please come back.
Willie.
Please.
I've been waiting so
long to see you.
- Alcoholic beverages,
illegal campfires,
disturbing the peace, littering,
we are talking about
criminal charges here.
After this mess gets cleaned up
I'll escort you to the gate.
- What?
- Hey, let her go.
- Damn it, Smite, you
can't do this.
- Oh yeah?
Watch me.
- Let her go, Carl.
You're out of your jurisdiction,
you're over the line.
You're on Honeycutt property.
- It won't be your property
for long, Honeycutt.
- You heard me, Smite,
get off our land.
- Don't forget, I'll be
watching you,
miss earth guardian.
- That was really nice of you,
Truckie.
- Smite,
Rancewell
wants to see you right away.
- This is gonna be a
piece of cake, Rocket.
You swim a little, you
run a little.
- This isn't gonna be
like that time
you booked us on that bar
mitzvah circuit,
is it, Luis?
Or like that mailing scam?
- Hey, the heavy
metal chain letter
was a great concept.
- Because I'd rather
play my music.
- A couple hours a day,
that's all I'm asking for.
I'll tell you everything
you need to know.
Like this oriental
hearing thing,
you just grab these little flags
as you run along.
- Yoo hoo, morning.
You boys want to join us
for breakfast.
- Come on over.
We're just about to fire
up the ol' microwave now.
- No thanks.
- What's your problem,
Luis?
- Old people scare the
shit our of me, man.
- The mail's here.
- Hi, bro.
Mail come?
What did we get?
- Nothing.
What are you doing with that?
- Got an official health notice
to take it back.
Too much red dye number two.
- What?
- Oh, Rancewell Foods,
a division
of Rancewell Pesticides,
figures.
- See you later,
I'm gonna go watch the game.
- Being able to identify
nature's landmarks
will come in handy
for those of you
in the Wilderness
Challenge this week.
Like this extremely
rare parotas delphinium.
- What's the hold up now?
- The bear again, sir.
- You, men,
get back to work.
I'll show you what work is,
here.
Hold my coat.
Smite, you come out over here.
From now on, I'm gonna
double the security guards.
And fire the guy on the
gate last night.
Clear off these weeds,
we're losing time.
- But, but sir, but--
- Never mind all these boxes.
- Now, do you see the plant
species rhus and rhus vernix.
Otherwise known as poison
ivy and poison oak.
- Go, Rocket!
- About the party.
I really don't have a boyfriend.
The truth is, I didn't know.
- I told you I was a musician.
- But you didn't
tell me you were
a heavy metaler.
At our school, heavy
metalers are considered
to be the creeps, the
lowlifes, the scumbags,
the trash, the geeks--
- I get it, I get it.
- I've never even talked
to a heavy metaler before.
- Will you stop putting
that label on me?
I'm a musician, I just
don't play wimp music.
- Okay, sorry.
But you have to admit,
you look really weird.
- I look weird?
- It's just all those
chains and spikes
and leather and stuff
that make you look
so ridiculous.
No offense.
- I happen to like what I wear,
I think it's kind of neat.
Peachy keen, in fact.
It's my style, and it
says something about me.
- What?
- That I like chains and spikes
and leather and all that stuff.
- You don't have to yell.
I'm trying to apologize.
- What about what you wear?
- Me?
This happens to be a
$200 jogging suit.
- Have you ever worn anything
without someone
else's name on it?
- Everything has to
have a name on it.
Somebody had to make it.
- You don't have to advertise.
Sergio, Holsten, Camallis,
Calvin,
you're a walking billboard.
- You're calling me a billboard?
- Yeah.
- What does that make you?
- Gone.
- Hi there.
We've been noticing a glitch
in the interface you did
on the DDR30s.
- Could you reverse the
polarity on your amp there?
Let's see here.
- I think we got it.
This'll cut down on the
distortion without a DBX.
It'll also make it louder.
- Louder?
- You can set up your
drums at our place,
it's soundproof.
- That would be really swell,
ma'am, sir.
- Music's sort of a
hobby of ours.
- One time, Ray and
I had our own
little combo, didn't we, honey?
- I told you not to
overdo it yesterday.
- What did you just put
in your mouth?
- Rag weed.
Two words.
And spices.
So that's it.
- Ow.
It's hot.
- Now hold it there,
it'll draw out the pain.
- What are you, some sort
of Indian medicine man too?
- No.
My great-grandad was.
- You know, after you
left last night,
I had quite a long talk
with Trailor.
You don't tell him everything,
do you?
- what do you mean?
- Oh come on, Truckie,
he's not stupid,
he knows there's
something going on
with the lease on your place.
Rancewell's trying to take
your land too, isn't he?
- And store, Rancewell Catering,
a division of
Rancewell Pesticides,
is that a joke or what?
Ever hear of the Kilgore
creek incident?
They could never prove
it, but several years ago,
Rancewell was accused of
dumping toxic chemicals
into a dried up creek bed.
Thousands of barrels
of chemicals
covered over in a
landfill operation,
and then they built
houses on it.
- Wait a minute, was
that the house
in development where
all those people
started getting sick?
- Yeah, like a lot of
things around here lately.
Wild life.
You know, it's not just
the new construction
that I'm trying to stop.
- So you think that
Rancewell is trying
to dump toxic waste
right here in the park?
- I know it.
And If I can prove it, I'm
gonna stop that son of a bitch.
You got it, now push.
- I feel like a beaver.
- Oh yeah?
- I'm talking about
the dam we're building.
- We're not building a dam,
we're blocking
culvert so the creek
can follow its original path.
- Where was that?
- That way.
Used to go right
through Rancewell's
construction site.
- Ahh.
- Uh-huh.
that's right.
Well, start digging.
- Wait a minute, you want
me to dig across
this entire road?
- That should be a piece of cake
for someone who can fix a
jacuzzi filter.
Come here, hey.
- Stop it.
- Now how will I be able
to defend myself.
- You won't.
- I love this job.
- This has gone too far,
I want this site
protected by cop security
day and night.
Now you get some pups
in here and pump
that water out.
I'm going to have this
factory built
before Winter, if I have to--
- I've got a duck, sir.
- Smite, get out of my face.
I'm gonna turn this
Willie into one
very dead bear rug.
* It's more than a feeling
* There's something
about the way you smile *
* You're making me laugh
* I just want to be with you
* I'd like to know you better
* Because you'd be so
easy to love *
* Why don't we get together
* You'd be so easy to love
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy,
easy to love *
* It's more than emotion
* Because I'm head over heels
* And that's all right
* You've got something special,
baby *
* And I gotta get you
in my life *
* I've got to know you better
* Because you'd be so
easy to love *
* Why don't we get together
* Because you'd be so
easy to love *
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy,
easy to love *
- What are we thinking of, dude?
One of us has got to
drive the boat.
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy,
easy to love *
- She must have put
them up to it.
I'm telling you, Olive,
this is the one who's
been causing
all the trouble around here.
- You have shown me no
proof of that.
She stays in the park
and in the race.
You can go now, Carl.
- What?
- I'll handle this.
That ski stunt was no accident,
was it?
- No, ma'am, it wasn't.
- I don't put too much
stock in Ranger Smite's
Weewankah Willy theories,
but I do wish
you would stay off his bad side.
Rancewell's takeover is
a fact of life, Truckie,
and there's nothing you
can do about it.
- Look, there's
something I gotta do.
- Me too.
Hey, come on, I'll drive.
- Right, come on, get off,
this is between
Rancewell and me.
- Truckie, come on, let me help.
There must be
something I can do.
- You know how to run a dozer?
- I want the back of the
site fenced in today.
Put some barbed wire on
top of the damn thing.
And if you see any animals
around it, shoot them.
That includes bears.
Oh, Dick, Jane.
Let's just step in here
for a moment.
You, uh, you worried
about the competition?
- We eliminate the competition.
- I like your style, son.
Now, the deal was a
thousand a piece.
Half now, and half later,
correct?
I don't want to see
either one of you
until after you win
your scholarship.
- Someone with all your dough,
you sure are a cheap bastard.
- Well, that's how I keep
my dough, young lady.
- Damn it.
I hate camping.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
You starve, you get cold,
you get eaten up by bugs.
And why is this thing so short?
- Marsha, you know
you'd feel better
if you just made up with Johnny.
- I tried.
He thinks I'm a billboard.
- I have an idea.
- Wow.
You look real nice.
- Well, it's...
Just something I threw together.
Kind of last minute.
I guess it'll take time before
I can really come up with
my own personal style.
- No, it's perfect.
Want to try my jacket?
It goes with that.
- Can you reach it or should
I lean forward a little?
- No, you're fine.
Whoops.
Almost finished.
- You are?
- Uh-huh.
There.
- That's it?
- Hope you like it.
Probably be the last
haircut I do for a while.
- But why?
- Oh, I don't know, it
just doesn't turn me on
the way it used to.
* Someone said love is great
* They said you're kinda late
* They said love will make
you metal out *
* I said no
* I've got to scream and shout
* No, like a glass of wine
* Sooth you, make you
feel so fine *
* I said no, that's not for me
* I want a love like
a chainsaw *
- Hi.
Nice haircut.
* That's what love is
* Ripping through the dreams
* That's what love is
* Cut off at the knees
* That's what love is
* Do me if you please
* Love like a chainsaw
- It's Ted Nugent, man.
It's the Nuge, man,
it's really him.
- I couldn't stop myself.
I was back in the woods
about 40 miles
to the North, and I
heard the music.
And I said to myself, Mr. Tasty,
it's time to move, it's
time to get down,
it be time to jam.
I gotta tell you, you
played loud.
- Wow.
That's the nicest thing
anybody's ever said to me, man.
- I see you met our grandson,
Teddy.
- Your grandson?
You're kidding.
- How do you think I
learned to play like this?
- One, two, three, four.
* I want my love like
a chainsaw *
* That's what love is
* Ripping through the dreams
* That's what love is
* Cut off at the knees
* That's what love is
* Do me if you please
* Love is like a chainsaw
* Now, don't you be late
* Baby, don't hesitate
* Got my plans and I
got my schemes *
* I want you
* In my chainsaw dreams
* A mule that I can't control
* So shake it to my very soul
* Tether isn't what I crave
* Give me love like a chainsaw
* That's what love is
* So, do me if you please
* My love is like a chainsaw
* Was a wild kid
* That's what love is
- Truckie, you didn't go
through the park
in your bear suit, did you?
Somebody could have seen you.
Hey, Truckie, are you okay?
- Rancewell won.
Tomorrow, Five o'clock,
he's got my store,
the land, and his factory.
And the hell of it is,
I saw his toxic dumpers.
He's unloading something
inside those gates.
- Can't you just tell
somebody about this?
- No one will believe me.
I've got no proof.
- Welcome to our Weewankah
Wilderness Challenge.
This nature marathon
was designed
to increase
environmental awareness.
Learn about valuable,
natural resources,
our nation's belly.
Aha, the winners will be crowned
king and queen of conservation.
aspects will
be minimized.
And we encourage all
you eligible
young people to participate
regardless of your
athletic abilities.
- Hi, I'm looking
for three girls
camping out at Little
Beaver Ridge.
My name's Eddie Claussens and--
- Oh, you're Eddie, then
you're looking for Linnie?
- That's right.
- Let's see.
Turn right by the
recreation hall,
follow that road all the way
down to the lake.
Everybody's there getting
ready for the race.
- Thank you.
- Any time.
- Linnie.
- Hi, Eve.
Ranger Brian said I could run
in the race today just
for the fun of it.
Eddie.
- Hi, Eddie.
- Hi, Eddie.
- Wilderness challengers.
- Yo, Rocket!
- Take your marks.
- Yo, Rocket!
- Get set.
- Sorry, dude, I didn't
realize I was so close.
- Jerk.
- Give me your camera.
- Why?
- Just give it to me.
- Put on that
life jacket.
Mind those rapids.
- Thank you.
- WHat's this?
- Your compass, topographical
map, and control card.
- I thought I was supposed
to grab these little flags
as I run along.
- Well, you have to grab
the coded punch
at each flag, and then
you have to punch
your control card.
- Okay, but what about
these little flags?
- Well, you have to find them.
- Find them?
- Yeah.
- What do you mean, find them?
Louis.
Louis, I'm gonna kill you.
- Come on, come on, come on.
There, hold it.
- How you doing, dudes?
- 10 degrees North
of the mountain trail
next to the mossy boulder.
What trail?
What boulder?
- Stop kidding around, dude,
we gotta finish the race.
- Dick, we can go through here.
No trespassing, ha.
No, no.
- What do we got here?
- Eve, what are you doing?
- Come here.
- Oh.
A rare protista delphinium.
Hmm, look at that.
Oh, the flag's over there.
- Son of a bitch.
- Hey, hey you, get over here.
- Jump, jump.
Jump, come on, jump.
- And the winner is,
Linnie Roach.
- Hold on, Willy.
- Get on turn.
- Huh, I knew it.
- You, I'll make sure you
two rot in jail for this.
- You should be in jail,
Rancewell, let me go.
- It's not me, it's Rancewell.
- Get this truck out of here.
Well, I must say, I'm shocked,
shocked.
In addition to the new
jobs and the revenue,
which my factory will provide,
I was building new
concession for this park.
Well, this poor kid, he
must have misunderstood.
- Rancewell's dumping--
- He's dumping toxic
waste in the park,
you've gotta stop this.
- Is this how you get
rid of your toxic waste?
- How does it feel
to be caught green handed?
- You're a disgrace
to the uniform.
- Get this scum out of here.
- You did it.
- We did it.
- Guess what Linnie won.
- Linnie won the
$5,000 scholarship.
- That's great, that's great.
Linnie, this is made out to me.
Linnie, I can't take this.
- Sure you can.
We're the three musketeers,
remember?
Consider it a loan.
- So, like, are you guys gonna
come down and join the party?
- Like we told you, as
soon as you cut us down.
- You know we can't do that,
dudes,
the sign says no trespassing.
- You idiots, forget the sign.
- Sorry, but we'll
save you a beer.
- You know it, dude.
Bye.
- This week, I've been exploring
some other possibilities.
I guess you've noticed
some of my special styling.
- Yeah, Linnie.
You don't have to tell me this
if you don't want to.
- No, Eddie, I have to.
It's just not the same
without real love.
Please help us.
I can't believe you
talked me into this.
- Are
you sure he's coming?
- I'm telling you,
it's gonna work.
- Well,
where is he?
- He'll come,
let's just scream again, okay?
- Okay.
- Help.
- Please.
He's not coming,
I knew it, he's not coming.
- I tell you, it's gonna work.
Believe me, okay?
- Oh, you're crazy.
- No, I know he's gonna
be here any second,
I can feel it, come on,
just be louder.
- Help!
- How much
longer you gonna wear that?
- Why, do you
want me to take it off?
- That thing's so hot.
Don't you want to cool down?
- Truckie, stop it.
- So, all this time,
you just wanted
me for my bear suit, huh?
- No.
I was only after the reward.
- Help.
- Help me.
- Me?
- I mean...
* Oh
* Ah
He helped me before.
- What about me?
I can't believe it, I am tied
to a tree with a
bleach blond bimbo.
- What?
I am not bleached.
It's completely natural.
- I've had
enough of this, I'm leaving.
Ouch, I'm really stuck.
- Oh,
you are not.
- Yes
I am, I'm really stuck.
- I think
I'm stuck too.
- Help, help, help!
Anymore bright ideas?
- Weewaunkah
Willy, where are you?
* Oh oh oh
* Oh
* Ah
* Oh yeah
* State park
* Oh oh
* Ha ha ha
* State park
* Oh
* Ah
* Ah
* Hm hm hm
* Ah
* State park
Lockdown, all clear.
It's the bear, let's get him.
Hit the fence.
- Youch that hurt.
A little electricity
won't phase me.
I think I singed my bear suit.
I gotta put a stop
to this stuff.
Nobody's gonna trash my park.
They call me Weewankah Willie,
named after the park.
Ah, this'll do the trick.
Before Mr. B. Morris
Rancewell got here,
this was a wonderful place.
A place where you
could kick back,
relax and enjoy nature.
But he's ruining everything.
Ripping up the land with
that factory of his.
I know there's something
else going on there.
And when I find out what it is,
I'm gonna blow the lid
off his entire operation.
Mm, I'm gonna stop Rancewell
and I'm gonna save
Weewankah Park.
* Ah
* Oh yeah
* State Park
* Oh oh oh
* State Park
* Oh
* Ah
* Ha ha ha ha
* State Park
* Ah
- Driving straight
through LA Louis
might not have been
a great idea.
- You're doing great,
Johnny boy,
only 48 hours to go.
We're going to blow
the skylights
out of the Hollywood Bowl, man.
- So linnie, was Eddie
upset about this trip?
- No, he told me to
have a good time.
It'll be the longest
we've ever been apart.
- Ahhhh.
- Linnie, you should take
advantage of your freedom
from Eddie this week,
especially after the way
he went out on you.
- Give me a break.
That was in the 8th grade.
- So.
- Besides, we're
definitely getting married.
- Mm-hmm.
- That was old news.
Come on, you guys have
been going to
get married since we were
at Junior High.
- No, it's official.
We picked out the rings
and everything.
I'm quitting school and
going with him
when he goes back to
college this fall.
- Freak me out, you're kidding?
- Well, there's a lot
more to this world
than just books and homework,
Marsha.
There's fascinating people,
exotic places
and real life experiences.
- Yo, Rocket.
Am I keeping you awake?
- Oh man, you drive.
I've got to get some sleep.
- Don't worry about a thing,
my man.
I know a place where
we can crash.
Weewankah Park.
Less than an hour away on I-75.
They've got showers, RV hookups,
swimming, boating, fishing,
water skiing.
We can camp out just
like the pioneers, man.
- Don't worry, Eve.
We're the three musketeers,
remember?
We'll help you get ready
for that race.
- I've gotta win or else
all my plans for school,
my entire future, goes
right down the toilet.
I can't believe this
could happen to me.
- It's happening all over.
I mean, things aren't so
great at my place either.
We weren't able to get
new cars this year
and I bet I get hardly
any really good clothes
for school.
- She's right, you know, Eve.
Bankruptcy's no big
deal anymore.
My dad's best friend
went bankrupt.
- I thought he went to
jail and committed suicide.
- That was much later.
- Dammit, Louis.
What arr you doing?
- Attention
Weewankah campers,
four more days until the
wilderness challenge race.
Anyone interested in
participating,
pick up an entrance
form at the front gate.
- What is going on down there?
It's just like an East
German water check.
- What's this?
- An old beer can, Sir,
probably been in there
for months.
- Pat him down, McDermott.
You know what the penalty
is for open container, boy?
You see that sign?
- Welcome to Weewankah Park.
No skateboards.
No roller skates.
- No alcoholic beverages,
smart mouth.
- Those guys
are so cute.
- We run a clean park here.
Now, I'm going to give
you two the chance
to get the hell out or
I bring you downtown
and I book you on a 501.
- Oh no, they're
getting kicked out.
- Rules are rules, son.
You shouldn't have tried
to smuggle it past me
the way you did.
You're a disgrace to
your uniform.
- Excuse me, Sir.
What's the holdup?
- Pardon?
What kind of a smart ass
question is that?
- Well I just--
- I know your type.
You probably have a car
that has a bumper sticker
that says, question authority.
- How does that guy rate?
- That guy just happens
to be the sponsor
of the Weewankah
Wilderness Place...
Race!
Take over.
- Come on, McDermott,
let's clean up this mess.
- Down the lake there,
cut down those trees,
level that mountain up
there, pour the concrete.
So you see why I had to
get the parks concession
rights, Bob.
This place is totally
inadequate for my needs.
Excuse me, son, but you
should be packing
not restocking.
Didn't you get the notice?
- I must've missed it.
- I don't see how.
Several were sent.
You've got to be out of
here by tomorrow.
- No!
I don't think I can do that.
You may have to send me
another notice,
maybe even a court order.
- So that's how it is.
When escrow closes on your land,
and it will, I had
planned to lease it
back to you for awhile, but now,
if I were you, I'd get a tent
and start looking for a
nice permanent campsite.
Get packing, kid.
- Don't look now, but
it's Mr. Rocky Horror Show
in person.
- I don't know, Marsha,
if he did something
with his hair, he'd
be kinda cute.
- He's a heavy metaler.
He's a disgusting low-life.
- Yo, Rocket.
If you're gonna work on
a new costume,
stay in the truck.
Yo, Rocket.
Was it something I said?
- See what I mean about
heavy metalers?
Violence is so passé.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Does anyone need
entry forms for
the Wilderness Challenge?
- Yes.
- Enjoy your stay, ladies.
- I know it's unorthodox, Olive.
My mind's made up.
This sort of behavior
is unacceptable.
And I intend to stop it.
- You're offering a reward
for the capture
of Weewankah Willie?
- This perpetrator did
not only desecrate
our parks proud symbol
of conservation,
but destroyed Mr.
Rancewell's property.
And after all he's done
for Weewankah.
- Thank you, Carl.
- This morning's
incident will put
Mr. Rancewell's construction
behind a whole day.
If they don't lay in the
foundation before
the weather changes,
the whole project
will be thrown right
off schedule.
- Thank you, Carl.
Now Olive, in the past
we've had our differences.
But stopping
vandalism is something
we can agree on.
- The department has
already told me
to cooperate with you.
But there's very little
we'll ever agree on.
Selling wilderness land to
people like you
may or may not help the
national debt,
but really, Mr. Rancewwell,
a pesticide plant right
next to the park grounds?
- This factory is
ecologically designed
to blend in with the
areas wilderness.
That's the beauty of it, Olive.
Nature and industry,
working together.
* Go Rockin Robin cause
we're really *
* Gonna rock tonight
* Every little swallow,
every chick-a-dee *
* Every little bird in the
tall oak tree *
- Yo, Rocket!
You still sleepin'?
- Yes!
- You outta check this out.
Your loss.
- Come on you guys.
This is a great campsite.
It's not nearly so crowded.
- There's a reason for that,
Marsha.
- Superb spot, Coslow.
Nothing like the smell
of the great outdoors.
- Well at least we won't
have far to go.
- I'll be right back, I
promised Eddie
I'd call as soon as we got here.
- Old people.
Weird, man.
Fire.
Wilderness Challenge Race.
5,000 bucks.
- No, it doesn't work like that.
Have to keep taking them
whether you're
doing it or not.
My boyfriend doesn't understand
about birth control pills.
I know, Eddie.
It'll be great.
While you're taking
your classes,
I'll be in beauty school.
And we'll be together
forever and ever--
- Hi Brian.
- And ever.
- Hello again.
- Nature and industry
working together.
That's swell.
- You better believe it, Ranger.
- Boy this
really burns me up.
Who coulda done this?
- Environmentalists.
I've had trouble with
them before.
- Like those earth
guardians tried to firebomb
your other pesticide plant.
- They're all the same.
Too bad I'm only allowed
to exterminate insects.
- Hey!
Who did this?
You earth guardians
think freedom of speech
gives you the right to
trample the rights
of others.
Well it won't work with me.
Got it?
I want you outta here now.
- You're
kicking us out?
Why?
- Let's just say you're
trying to camp
in an unauthorized area.
- But we have reservations.
- Pick up your gear,
get out!
I don't want to see
you or your kind
in this park again.
- What is that guys problem?
- I know a place you can camp.
- I've done all I can to keep
out the radical elements, Sir?
- If you still want to
be chief of security
for Rancewell Industries,
you're gonna have to
do more than that, Smite.
- Trailor, where are
you taking us?
- This is Honeycutt property.
My brother, Truckie
and I own it.
- Are you sure this'll be safe?
- Oh, well I can come back
later and check on you.
- No, really, it's fine.
We can manage, but thank
you for everything.
Oh, listen, you know,
I'm going to go check
for some firewood, okay?
- See ya later.
This is going to be so fun.
I feel just like the
Wilderness Family.
- Wait till he comes
out the door.
He comes out the door, that's
when you start shootin'.
- I'll be, I got him.
- Oh wait a minute.
I got two of them, you
will have none.
Now you've got to finally
come out the door.
Play fair.
- I know, I know.
- How do you feel, John?
Did you get some rest?
- I feel fine, Louis.
- You're absolutely amazing,
man.
You ran what, at least 20 miles,
right?
You jump off a moving truck,
run off the road, through woods,
up hills,
in streams, over rocks
and who knows
what else, in less
than two hours.
With plenty of energy
left to beat
the living shit outta me.
Incredible.
- Why are you grinning at
me like that for, Louis?
- I gpt one word for you,
man, The Wilderness Challenge.
The winner gets five grand, man.
Know what that'll buy?
- Amplifiers?
- Power.
We could get a stack of
Marshall's that'll blow
the skylights outta the
Hollywood Bowl, man.
- Look, we have to get to LA.
If you wanna super group,
we gotta find
the rest of the super group.
- You need top notch
equipment to get
top notch players, man.
If you'd win this money,
we'd have the wattage
to get someone like...
Ted Nugent to jam with us, man.
- I'm starving.
Can we put on the hot dogs
and hamburgers?
- Yes, the rest of the
food's in the ice chest.
- Ice chest?
- Oh shit.
- What do we have left?
- Well the potatoes
will be enough.
I love baked potatoes.
- Now I'm going to cook
you a big juicy steak.
Get some protein on those bones.
- What the hell's that?
- Moose, deer, I don't
think they knew for sure.
These hunters were
running out of the woods
and they just gave it to me,
man.
Sometimes people can be so
damn wonderful.
- Now, the outside may
be just a tad burnt,
but that's normal.
Just peel that part off.
- Who wants chives?
- Mine's a rock.
- Too well done?
- No, no, mines a real rock.
My potato must still
be in there someplace.
- I can't see what I'm eating.
Are your chives kinda furry?
- Gonna need a lot of
fire to fry this sucker.
- Louis.
- Best vitamins you can get.
- Louis.
- Come from wild game.
- I'm not
going to eat that.
- Fire, fire.
Hurry.
- I'm Tallahassee Ray.
This is my wife, Ethel.
- Pleased to meet ya, honey.
- What a great effect, man.
We could use that in
our stage show, Rocket.
- Every night I get into
this bear suit and sneak
around that construction site.
Trying to find proof
that Rancewell
is up to something.
And I try and leave him a
little present.
Just to remind him that I'm
always watching.
Maybe this skunk catcher
will slow them down.
One day I'll find the
proof I need.
Rancewell's not going
to take my land.
And he'll never finish
that factory.
- Shhh.
- What, I have to get
this blown up.
- Shhh.
Do the blowjob later.
There's something out there.
Oh, my God.
It moved.
Did you see it?
- It's just a tree.
- Then what was that sound?
- It was just...
The wind.
I'm going to sleep.
Way to go gang.
We just killed Marsha's
eel-skinned belt.
- Weewankah Willie
has a great ass.
- Mm, the perpetrator was
wearing fake bear feet.
- Smite,
come to the construction site
right away.
- Ranger Smite will
have this taken care of
in no time, Mr. Rancewell.
- What can I do for you, Sir?
- Get rid of these, now!
- Have a good day, Carl.
- Hey Carl.
Maybe a bath in tomato
juice will help
take care of the smell.
- And so the Wilderness
Challenge is divided
into three main sections:
Swimming,
kayaking, and the
orienteering force.
Now we have classes for
each leg of the race
to help you improve your
skills in any or all
of these areas.
So after you finish registering,
you can sign up for the classes,
with the ranger at the
appropriate desk, okay?
Thank you very much.
- Okay, Dick Smith and Jane Doe.
I guess you're all set.
- Excuse me.
- Hey dudes, didn't
I see you two
on that TV show, USA Pro
Sports Roundup?
You know, if you hadn't
been disqualified for--
- You have never seen us before.
- Okay, Eve.
You're registered.
Did you want to take
any classes?
- Yeah, the only one I
really need is orienteering.
I don't know anything about it.
- I'm sorry, those
classes are full.
- Me too, Eddie.
I'm gettin' worked up
just thinking about it.
It turns me on.
I can't help it.
It happens every time
I give you a haircut.
Something about it just
gets me so hot.
- Well I guess you might
as well forget about
the scholarship, huh?
- Trailor, what do you think?
Is there anybody...
- Mm, of course I did.
- Trailor.
- Sorry.
- Have you heard
anything I've said?
- Sure, you need somebody
to teach you orienteering.
- Well?
- Well...
I know someone who could do it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
My brother, Truckie.
He's the beat there is.
- Hi.
Do you need some help there?
- No thanks.
- You sure?
I'm really good at
mechanical things.
I'm the only one at my house
that can fix a jacuzzi filter.
- Could you hand me that
crescent wrench?
- You know, I believe we
should all help
one another whenever we can,
don't you?
It's the spirit of the 80s.
- The crescent wrench.
- My name is Eve, what's yours?
- Truckie.
- Oh, that's a
cute nickname.
Did you get it playing sports?
- Nope, it's my real name.
When I was born my mom said
she got bigger than
a Mack truck.
- Oh here, look, let me do that.
I find this so rewarding.
Ow.
- Look, I can't teach you
orienteering this week.
I'm too busy.
I overheard you talking
to my brother.
- Why did you let me go
through all that?
- Well it's in the
spirit of the 80s.
I didn't want to deprive
you of the rewards
of helping me.
- How thoughtful.
- Please don't do that again.
I told you not to do that again.
- Wah!
- What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Don't do that.
Don't you dare.
Help, put me down.
Put me down!
- Yes, ma'am.
- No!
- Take it easy, Eve.
You should be out
swimming anyway.
Start gettin' in shape
for your big race.
- Who do you think you are?
I know that ass.
Speaking of rewards.
If you don't teach me what
I need to know,
I just may collect the one
on you, Willie.
- Come on, Linnie.
You can't get married.
You don't buy the first
dress you try on.
You've got to shop around.
- All right, I admit, I
wondered about
other guys.
- See?
- But I'm having a good
time just appreciating...
Nature.
- You've been out of
action too long.
Look, shoulders back, tummy in.
I'll show you how it's done.
Follow me.
* Oh
* Ha ha ha ha
* Oh oh oh
Nice boat.
- Thanks.
- We were wondering
what it's like
on the other side of the lake.
- It's pretty much
the same as here
except there's more trees.
- I can't believe it.
If they were any dumber...
You'd have to water them.
- Hope to see you around.
- One word, just one word.
- I bet we could get those girls
to go on a boat ride
with us sometime.
You know what I mean?
- You know it, dude.
- In orienteering you
make your way through
the wilderness using a
map and a compass
to find checkpoints marked
by flags like these.
Now, at each flag is
a coded punch
which you use to punch
your control card.
Now there's six checkpoints
in The Wilderness Challenge
and you have to find them
in the order indicated.
- Okay.
- Now did you study the
section under map reading?
- Not yet.
- Come on, how
are you going to know
what I'm talking about?
Orienteering's a thinking sport.
You have to use your mind
as well as your body.
- I use both quite well,
thank you.
I was the best on my swim team
at the 200 meter freestyle
and only one girl
ever beat me and that's
because she cheated.
- Oh but of course you
would never do anything
like that, would you?
- No, I wouldn't.
- Well I'm glad to know
I'm being blackmailed
by a real straight shooter.
* Like some information
* What is there to do
* I remember reading it
on the line *
* How you work from
bed to noon *
* And you don't need to tell
* Of how you make your mark
* I don't really wanna
know how much *
* Just wanna know what for
* Could you wait on a
dime my dear *
* But don't do it lying down
* What do you put on a resume
* If you never had to
leave this town *
* And what is your position
* In his company
* What are your
fringe benefits *
* And can you say
that perfectly *
* You know you're
disappointing *
* Hope I am wrong
* But you not the same person
* That I knew so well
* That I used to know
* Will you wait on a
dime my dear *
* But don't do it lying down
* What do you put on a resume
* If you never had to
leave this town *
- Nice stroke.
- Pardon?
- Your stroke, you're a
good swimmer.
- Thanks.
And a nice bathing suit.
- Shoot, this old faded thing.
I've had it for weeks.
- Hi.
Like some lemonade?
It's so hot today.
- That's really sweet of you,
Trailor.
Thank you.
Mm, it's good.
- I was wondering if
maybe you'd like to
come to a party I'm
having tonight.
It's sort of a promotional
thing I'm putting on
for the race this week
and I was just...
- Truckie.
I swear when this is all
over I'll find
some way to make it up to you,
okay?
Ow!
- Next time why don't
you just try
wearing some clothes to cover up
your arms and legs, all right?
- I know you think I'm
some dumb yuppie
who's gotten anything
she's ever wanted, right?
Some bimbo who hasn't
had to work hard
for anything in her life.
Well I'm going to tell
you something.
Recently my whole world
practically fell apart.
My parents just went bankrupt.
- Your parents went bankrupt
and you flip out?
- Don't you understand,
I needed this scholarship
to get into college.
My parents can't afford it.
- My parents aren't
around anymore.
And Trailor works his butt off
to save for college.
Now let's see if we can get
the rest of the way through this
sample course without having
another breakdown, all right?
Come on, Eve, let's go.
- Have you seen this?
It's a great blue herring.
It's a huge bird.
It's wings make a noise
when it flies.
Here's a picture of it.
Look at its feet.
It holds onto branches that way.
- You know, I know a little bit
about birds myself.
From here I can see a
long-legged goat sucker.
- Oh look, Linnie.
A big red Cockaded.
- You know, Raymond,
you should let me
give you a haircut.
The sides are a little long.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Yes, whew!
- Not bad.
Think we outta knock off
till tomorrow though.
- Oh, feeling a tad
humiliated about to
move me down now, huh?
Come on, come on.
Let's do it again.
- Hey.
I'm serious.
You outta take it easy.
This is the first day.
- Wait a minute, who's
calling the shots here,
huh, huh, what's the
matter coach?
Does it annoy you to
see me ,
tearing up the woods and
ripping up your name, huh?
- Okay, boss.
Do it again.
* Whenever life can be tough
* And it starts to get me down
* I stop and think
about her touch *
* And it brings me back around
* You see, I'm just a
simple man *
* You know, I love the
simple life *
* I live to do the
things that I can *
* And I'm my best when
she's on my side *
* I need her heart
closer to mine *
* I need her heart
beating in time *
* I need her heart
* To ease me through the night
* I like a lover in the night
* And her moves can help me go
* A little love and
I'm all right *
* She fills me full of hope
- Thanks for helping
me clock my swim time.
And helping me out today.
- It was fun.
- What is this?
- Japanese silk.
You're not like anyone
I ever hung out with.
- You too.
- Okay.
We can quit now.
Come on, it's
starting to get dark.
Dammit, Truckie.
I found all your stupid
little flags but one.
Where are you?
- Did I scare you?
- Drop dead, I'm going home.
- Ah.
Don't move.
- Am I about to be attacked
by some wild animal
or can you just not
stand to see me go?
- No, I got booby traps
set all around here.
- Oh, wait, I recognize this.
This is where you stashed
your bear costume.
Okay, in that case,
the campsites this way.
Or is it that way?
- You're the champion orienteer.
Can't you find your way
back to your own campsite?
- Ha ha.
God, I'm pooped, I just
want to crawl
into my sleeping bag
and pass out.
* We went in right
through the window *
* I got a gal, she's
gotta move *
* Now come on in now, you
won't be alone *
* For 10 dollars you feel
right at home *
* It's a power like you
did the other night *
* So I keep enough to pay
* It's a night like any other
- Hey, what do you
want to drink?
We've got Bud, Heiny, Falstaff,
Light,
Coors, some Coors Lite.
- Eve, major party time.
How do I look?
Too much?
It was either this
or Anne Klein.
- Eve, this is Rob.
Rob's a Virgo.
He's into computers and
science fiction
and entomology.
He's been telling me all about
the Northeastern spit bug.
- Great, wait till
you meet Johnny.
You're gonna die.
You're just gonna die.
- Eve, we're gonna go look
for Lampyridae with tourists.
- I'm telling you, Eve,
this is the real thing.
Johnny's so cool.
He's funny and smart
and good-looking.
Who invited them?
- Who invited anybody?
- Hey, there's a music box.
- Heavy metalers shouldn't
be allowed in the park.
They're such...
- Hi.
I'm Johnny Rocker.
- I'm Eve Murphy.
I've heard a lot about you.
- So, wanna dance?
- I can't.
I have a boyfriend.
- Yeah, we're talking to Ted
Nugent about playing for us.
It's like I told him
the other day
when we were doing lunch, Nuge,
babe,
I hear you're looking
to jam with the best.
- We're goin'.
- What are you talkin, we
just got here.
- We're goin'.
- Hey, come back here tiger.
- Help, help,
please.
Help me, somebody.
Please.
Help me.
Help me, please, somebody.
Help me, get me out of here.
Please, somebody, help.
Willie.
Gee, thanks a lot, Willie,
for saving me.
Come on, don't walk
away, please come back.
Willie.
Please.
I've been waiting so
long to see you.
- Alcoholic beverages,
illegal campfires,
disturbing the peace, littering,
we are talking about
criminal charges here.
After this mess gets cleaned up
I'll escort you to the gate.
- What?
- Hey, let her go.
- Damn it, Smite, you
can't do this.
- Oh yeah?
Watch me.
- Let her go, Carl.
You're out of your jurisdiction,
you're over the line.
You're on Honeycutt property.
- It won't be your property
for long, Honeycutt.
- You heard me, Smite,
get off our land.
- Don't forget, I'll be
watching you,
miss earth guardian.
- That was really nice of you,
Truckie.
- Smite,
Rancewell
wants to see you right away.
- This is gonna be a
piece of cake, Rocket.
You swim a little, you
run a little.
- This isn't gonna be
like that time
you booked us on that bar
mitzvah circuit,
is it, Luis?
Or like that mailing scam?
- Hey, the heavy
metal chain letter
was a great concept.
- Because I'd rather
play my music.
- A couple hours a day,
that's all I'm asking for.
I'll tell you everything
you need to know.
Like this oriental
hearing thing,
you just grab these little flags
as you run along.
- Yoo hoo, morning.
You boys want to join us
for breakfast.
- Come on over.
We're just about to fire
up the ol' microwave now.
- No thanks.
- What's your problem,
Luis?
- Old people scare the
shit our of me, man.
- The mail's here.
- Hi, bro.
Mail come?
What did we get?
- Nothing.
What are you doing with that?
- Got an official health notice
to take it back.
Too much red dye number two.
- What?
- Oh, Rancewell Foods,
a division
of Rancewell Pesticides,
figures.
- See you later,
I'm gonna go watch the game.
- Being able to identify
nature's landmarks
will come in handy
for those of you
in the Wilderness
Challenge this week.
Like this extremely
rare parotas delphinium.
- What's the hold up now?
- The bear again, sir.
- You, men,
get back to work.
I'll show you what work is,
here.
Hold my coat.
Smite, you come out over here.
From now on, I'm gonna
double the security guards.
And fire the guy on the
gate last night.
Clear off these weeds,
we're losing time.
- But, but sir, but--
- Never mind all these boxes.
- Now, do you see the plant
species rhus and rhus vernix.
Otherwise known as poison
ivy and poison oak.
- Go, Rocket!
- About the party.
I really don't have a boyfriend.
The truth is, I didn't know.
- I told you I was a musician.
- But you didn't
tell me you were
a heavy metaler.
At our school, heavy
metalers are considered
to be the creeps, the
lowlifes, the scumbags,
the trash, the geeks--
- I get it, I get it.
- I've never even talked
to a heavy metaler before.
- Will you stop putting
that label on me?
I'm a musician, I just
don't play wimp music.
- Okay, sorry.
But you have to admit,
you look really weird.
- I look weird?
- It's just all those
chains and spikes
and leather and stuff
that make you look
so ridiculous.
No offense.
- I happen to like what I wear,
I think it's kind of neat.
Peachy keen, in fact.
It's my style, and it
says something about me.
- What?
- That I like chains and spikes
and leather and all that stuff.
- You don't have to yell.
I'm trying to apologize.
- What about what you wear?
- Me?
This happens to be a
$200 jogging suit.
- Have you ever worn anything
without someone
else's name on it?
- Everything has to
have a name on it.
Somebody had to make it.
- You don't have to advertise.
Sergio, Holsten, Camallis,
Calvin,
you're a walking billboard.
- You're calling me a billboard?
- Yeah.
- What does that make you?
- Gone.
- Hi there.
We've been noticing a glitch
in the interface you did
on the DDR30s.
- Could you reverse the
polarity on your amp there?
Let's see here.
- I think we got it.
This'll cut down on the
distortion without a DBX.
It'll also make it louder.
- Louder?
- You can set up your
drums at our place,
it's soundproof.
- That would be really swell,
ma'am, sir.
- Music's sort of a
hobby of ours.
- One time, Ray and
I had our own
little combo, didn't we, honey?
- I told you not to
overdo it yesterday.
- What did you just put
in your mouth?
- Rag weed.
Two words.
And spices.
So that's it.
- Ow.
It's hot.
- Now hold it there,
it'll draw out the pain.
- What are you, some sort
of Indian medicine man too?
- No.
My great-grandad was.
- You know, after you
left last night,
I had quite a long talk
with Trailor.
You don't tell him everything,
do you?
- what do you mean?
- Oh come on, Truckie,
he's not stupid,
he knows there's
something going on
with the lease on your place.
Rancewell's trying to take
your land too, isn't he?
- And store, Rancewell Catering,
a division of
Rancewell Pesticides,
is that a joke or what?
Ever hear of the Kilgore
creek incident?
They could never prove
it, but several years ago,
Rancewell was accused of
dumping toxic chemicals
into a dried up creek bed.
Thousands of barrels
of chemicals
covered over in a
landfill operation,
and then they built
houses on it.
- Wait a minute, was
that the house
in development where
all those people
started getting sick?
- Yeah, like a lot of
things around here lately.
Wild life.
You know, it's not just
the new construction
that I'm trying to stop.
- So you think that
Rancewell is trying
to dump toxic waste
right here in the park?
- I know it.
And If I can prove it, I'm
gonna stop that son of a bitch.
You got it, now push.
- I feel like a beaver.
- Oh yeah?
- I'm talking about
the dam we're building.
- We're not building a dam,
we're blocking
culvert so the creek
can follow its original path.
- Where was that?
- That way.
Used to go right
through Rancewell's
construction site.
- Ahh.
- Uh-huh.
that's right.
Well, start digging.
- Wait a minute, you want
me to dig across
this entire road?
- That should be a piece of cake
for someone who can fix a
jacuzzi filter.
Come here, hey.
- Stop it.
- Now how will I be able
to defend myself.
- You won't.
- I love this job.
- This has gone too far,
I want this site
protected by cop security
day and night.
Now you get some pups
in here and pump
that water out.
I'm going to have this
factory built
before Winter, if I have to--
- I've got a duck, sir.
- Smite, get out of my face.
I'm gonna turn this
Willie into one
very dead bear rug.
* It's more than a feeling
* There's something
about the way you smile *
* You're making me laugh
* I just want to be with you
* I'd like to know you better
* Because you'd be so
easy to love *
* Why don't we get together
* You'd be so easy to love
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy,
easy to love *
* It's more than emotion
* Because I'm head over heels
* And that's all right
* You've got something special,
baby *
* And I gotta get you
in my life *
* I've got to know you better
* Because you'd be so
easy to love *
* Why don't we get together
* Because you'd be so
easy to love *
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy,
easy to love *
- What are we thinking of, dude?
One of us has got to
drive the boat.
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy
* You'd be so easy,
easy to love *
- She must have put
them up to it.
I'm telling you, Olive,
this is the one who's
been causing
all the trouble around here.
- You have shown me no
proof of that.
She stays in the park
and in the race.
You can go now, Carl.
- What?
- I'll handle this.
That ski stunt was no accident,
was it?
- No, ma'am, it wasn't.
- I don't put too much
stock in Ranger Smite's
Weewankah Willy theories,
but I do wish
you would stay off his bad side.
Rancewell's takeover is
a fact of life, Truckie,
and there's nothing you
can do about it.
- Look, there's
something I gotta do.
- Me too.
Hey, come on, I'll drive.
- Right, come on, get off,
this is between
Rancewell and me.
- Truckie, come on, let me help.
There must be
something I can do.
- You know how to run a dozer?
- I want the back of the
site fenced in today.
Put some barbed wire on
top of the damn thing.
And if you see any animals
around it, shoot them.
That includes bears.
Oh, Dick, Jane.
Let's just step in here
for a moment.
You, uh, you worried
about the competition?
- We eliminate the competition.
- I like your style, son.
Now, the deal was a
thousand a piece.
Half now, and half later,
correct?
I don't want to see
either one of you
until after you win
your scholarship.
- Someone with all your dough,
you sure are a cheap bastard.
- Well, that's how I keep
my dough, young lady.
- Damn it.
I hate camping.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
You starve, you get cold,
you get eaten up by bugs.
And why is this thing so short?
- Marsha, you know
you'd feel better
if you just made up with Johnny.
- I tried.
He thinks I'm a billboard.
- I have an idea.
- Wow.
You look real nice.
- Well, it's...
Just something I threw together.
Kind of last minute.
I guess it'll take time before
I can really come up with
my own personal style.
- No, it's perfect.
Want to try my jacket?
It goes with that.
- Can you reach it or should
I lean forward a little?
- No, you're fine.
Whoops.
Almost finished.
- You are?
- Uh-huh.
There.
- That's it?
- Hope you like it.
Probably be the last
haircut I do for a while.
- But why?
- Oh, I don't know, it
just doesn't turn me on
the way it used to.
* Someone said love is great
* They said you're kinda late
* They said love will make
you metal out *
* I said no
* I've got to scream and shout
* No, like a glass of wine
* Sooth you, make you
feel so fine *
* I said no, that's not for me
* I want a love like
a chainsaw *
- Hi.
Nice haircut.
* That's what love is
* Ripping through the dreams
* That's what love is
* Cut off at the knees
* That's what love is
* Do me if you please
* Love like a chainsaw
- It's Ted Nugent, man.
It's the Nuge, man,
it's really him.
- I couldn't stop myself.
I was back in the woods
about 40 miles
to the North, and I
heard the music.
And I said to myself, Mr. Tasty,
it's time to move, it's
time to get down,
it be time to jam.
I gotta tell you, you
played loud.
- Wow.
That's the nicest thing
anybody's ever said to me, man.
- I see you met our grandson,
Teddy.
- Your grandson?
You're kidding.
- How do you think I
learned to play like this?
- One, two, three, four.
* I want my love like
a chainsaw *
* That's what love is
* Ripping through the dreams
* That's what love is
* Cut off at the knees
* That's what love is
* Do me if you please
* Love is like a chainsaw
* Now, don't you be late
* Baby, don't hesitate
* Got my plans and I
got my schemes *
* I want you
* In my chainsaw dreams
* A mule that I can't control
* So shake it to my very soul
* Tether isn't what I crave
* Give me love like a chainsaw
* That's what love is
* So, do me if you please
* My love is like a chainsaw
* Was a wild kid
* That's what love is
- Truckie, you didn't go
through the park
in your bear suit, did you?
Somebody could have seen you.
Hey, Truckie, are you okay?
- Rancewell won.
Tomorrow, Five o'clock,
he's got my store,
the land, and his factory.
And the hell of it is,
I saw his toxic dumpers.
He's unloading something
inside those gates.
- Can't you just tell
somebody about this?
- No one will believe me.
I've got no proof.
- Welcome to our Weewankah
Wilderness Challenge.
This nature marathon
was designed
to increase
environmental awareness.
Learn about valuable,
natural resources,
our nation's belly.
Aha, the winners will be crowned
king and queen of conservation.
aspects will
be minimized.
And we encourage all
you eligible
young people to participate
regardless of your
athletic abilities.
- Hi, I'm looking
for three girls
camping out at Little
Beaver Ridge.
My name's Eddie Claussens and--
- Oh, you're Eddie, then
you're looking for Linnie?
- That's right.
- Let's see.
Turn right by the
recreation hall,
follow that road all the way
down to the lake.
Everybody's there getting
ready for the race.
- Thank you.
- Any time.
- Linnie.
- Hi, Eve.
Ranger Brian said I could run
in the race today just
for the fun of it.
Eddie.
- Hi, Eddie.
- Hi, Eddie.
- Wilderness challengers.
- Yo, Rocket!
- Take your marks.
- Yo, Rocket!
- Get set.
- Sorry, dude, I didn't
realize I was so close.
- Jerk.
- Give me your camera.
- Why?
- Just give it to me.
- Put on that
life jacket.
Mind those rapids.
- Thank you.
- WHat's this?
- Your compass, topographical
map, and control card.
- I thought I was supposed
to grab these little flags
as I run along.
- Well, you have to grab
the coded punch
at each flag, and then
you have to punch
your control card.
- Okay, but what about
these little flags?
- Well, you have to find them.
- Find them?
- Yeah.
- What do you mean, find them?
Louis.
Louis, I'm gonna kill you.
- Come on, come on, come on.
There, hold it.
- How you doing, dudes?
- 10 degrees North
of the mountain trail
next to the mossy boulder.
What trail?
What boulder?
- Stop kidding around, dude,
we gotta finish the race.
- Dick, we can go through here.
No trespassing, ha.
No, no.
- What do we got here?
- Eve, what are you doing?
- Come here.
- Oh.
A rare protista delphinium.
Hmm, look at that.
Oh, the flag's over there.
- Son of a bitch.
- Hey, hey you, get over here.
- Jump, jump.
Jump, come on, jump.
- And the winner is,
Linnie Roach.
- Hold on, Willy.
- Get on turn.
- Huh, I knew it.
- You, I'll make sure you
two rot in jail for this.
- You should be in jail,
Rancewell, let me go.
- It's not me, it's Rancewell.
- Get this truck out of here.
Well, I must say, I'm shocked,
shocked.
In addition to the new
jobs and the revenue,
which my factory will provide,
I was building new
concession for this park.
Well, this poor kid, he
must have misunderstood.
- Rancewell's dumping--
- He's dumping toxic
waste in the park,
you've gotta stop this.
- Is this how you get
rid of your toxic waste?
- How does it feel
to be caught green handed?
- You're a disgrace
to the uniform.
- Get this scum out of here.
- You did it.
- We did it.
- Guess what Linnie won.
- Linnie won the
$5,000 scholarship.
- That's great, that's great.
Linnie, this is made out to me.
Linnie, I can't take this.
- Sure you can.
We're the three musketeers,
remember?
Consider it a loan.
- So, like, are you guys gonna
come down and join the party?
- Like we told you, as
soon as you cut us down.
- You know we can't do that,
dudes,
the sign says no trespassing.
- You idiots, forget the sign.
- Sorry, but we'll
save you a beer.
- You know it, dude.
Bye.
- This week, I've been exploring
some other possibilities.
I guess you've noticed
some of my special styling.
- Yeah, Linnie.
You don't have to tell me this
if you don't want to.
- No, Eddie, I have to.
It's just not the same
without real love.
Please help us.
I can't believe you
talked me into this.
- Are
you sure he's coming?
- I'm telling you,
it's gonna work.
- Well,
where is he?
- He'll come,
let's just scream again, okay?
- Okay.
- Help.
- Please.
He's not coming,
I knew it, he's not coming.
- I tell you, it's gonna work.
Believe me, okay?
- Oh, you're crazy.
- No, I know he's gonna
be here any second,
I can feel it, come on,
just be louder.
- Help!
- How much
longer you gonna wear that?
- Why, do you
want me to take it off?
- That thing's so hot.
Don't you want to cool down?
- Truckie, stop it.
- So, all this time,
you just wanted
me for my bear suit, huh?
- No.
I was only after the reward.
- Help.
- Help me.
- Me?
- I mean...
* Oh
* Ah
He helped me before.
- What about me?
I can't believe it, I am tied
to a tree with a
bleach blond bimbo.
- What?
I am not bleached.
It's completely natural.
- I've had
enough of this, I'm leaving.
Ouch, I'm really stuck.
- Oh,
you are not.
- Yes
I am, I'm really stuck.
- I think
I'm stuck too.
- Help, help, help!
Anymore bright ideas?
- Weewaunkah
Willy, where are you?
* Oh oh oh
* Oh
* Ah
* Oh yeah
* State park
* Oh oh
* Ha ha ha
* State park
* Oh
* Ah
* Ah
* Hm hm hm
* Ah
* State park