Som Pla Noi (2021) - full transcript

Som Pla Noi

Greetings, sir.

Chief Tik.

Is our local team in good form?
Ready to give a good kicking?

They're okay.

But they enjoy kicking monks more.

Run, sir, run.

Leap like a tiger.

No kicking around here I hope.

-C'mon, bring the rice.
-Yes, Mom.

The monks are coming.



Hurry up.

I was feeding the fish.

Greetings, Venerable Chai.

Bua. When did you arrive?

A couple of days ago, sir.
I'm visiting my children.

I see.

Noi.

I haven't seen you two days

and you've already grown a hipster beard.

Goldfish memory…

I'm not Noi, I'm Sian.

Noi is over there.

Noi! Noi!

Noi! Noi!



Your pal's here.

Not pal! It's Monk Chai.

I was kidding.

Oh, Phak. You're here too.

Sir.

Do you have children now?

Not yet, sir. He keeps firing blanks.

Phak, you should
grease his joystick sometimes.

Sian has the meat,
but he doesn't have the juice.

What a waste.

So you're good at greasing joysticks?

I'm the best, sir.

No need to stress.

The best, sure.

Greetings, sir.

So…

What are you doing?

-Watering the plants, sir.
-Right.

Sir, I intended to donate some cash today,

but I left my purse in the house.

Tomorrow then.

Don't worry.

A QR code…

Yep.

We're in a cashless society.

Don't smoke now!

He'll smell it.

I've warned you often

to cut back on weed.

Scanning now.

My first donation in months.

I put in 2,000 baht.

Done?

Well…

If you've done it,

we'll carry on.

Blessings, sir.

Look, Mom.

Venerable, sir!

You forgot my food offerings.

You got 2,000 baht and then you ran off!

I won't take it back, don't worry.

In a good mood?

This is dope!

Isn't it too early?

Just a sip.

-Go give alms to the monks.
-Yes, babe.

Som, ready?

Yes.

You're open already?

Yes, sir.

Good business?

We get by, sir.

Someone stinks of booze.

Me, sir.

Care for a shot?

Stop!

That's blasphemy!

It's okay, I heard some monks even
do hard drugs.

You're going to burn in hell.

Let's make the offerings.

May you be blessed with
long lives and good health.

Should I pity you, girl?

Should I pity you, girl?

The moon girl carries
The weight of the world…

You like Pornsak's songs?

Not really.

He sounds like a howling dog.

-Yellow bird?
-Myna.

-Dumb bird?
-Stork.

-Foulmouthed bird?
-Parrot.

-Dirty bird?
-Pigeon.

-Horny bird?
-Cockatoo.

-Monk Ek, Monk Rong, Monk Lor.
-Sir.

File this.

This goes in the safe box.

Xerox this.

Remove the staples first.

Sir, there are no more staples.

No?

Why didn't Sinn inform me?

Sinn!

Sir.

-Go buy some Max.
-Yes, sir.

And the money?

Advance it.

Again?

Yes.

Damn.

Will he ever pay me back?

Advance again.

What a sourpuss.

-Horny bird?
-Cockatoo.

-Funny bird?
-Kiwi.

-Who eats shit?
-I do!

Well, are we monks or clowns?

Watch where you're going!

So it was my fault?

Of course! You almost crashed into me!

You were speeding.

We can check the camera.

Still think it's my fault?

Okay, my bad.

Sorry.

What are you staring at?

Never seen a goddess?

Wow…

A goddess indeed.

This is McPork.

This is McBeef.

And the McChicken.

Are you high or stupid?

I said "Max".

This!

I meant this!

You screwed up the pronunciation.

You said Mac.

As in McDonald's.

Learn to say things clearly.

I'm in a jam here, sir.

What a mess.

Dumbass. What an idiot.

Hi, Auntie.

Hi, Uncle.

Hi there.

Som, are you ready?

Give me a sec.

Where are you off to?

We're going to get wasted tonight.

Great, that's great.

Enjoy it, son.

Why're you egging them on?

They're not children anymore.

Let them have fun.
It reminds me of the old days.

Stop right there.

Don't get drunk, okay?

Sure.

Don't try to bang me when you get drunk.

You're selfish.

I'm going with her, so bang me too.

I'll pass. Gives me goose bumps.

You don't know what you're missing.

Cheers!

Two glasses and you're out already?

Noi.

Noi!

Are we leaving?

I'll give you a ride.

We just got here.

We're not leaving, man.

Do Ja-eh's voice.

Now the prime minister's.

We should hang out to promote the economy.

If not us, who will?

Now Sek's.

Five minutes here
and I feel like I'm 14 again.

The prime minister.

If not us, who will?

Now Ja-eh's.

Enough!

Now Sarinee's.

Sarinee? Who the hell is Sarinee?

Cheers!

Hey, why are we here?

Plenty of bars in Bangkok

and you dragged me to this hillbilly dive?

Don't be a killjoy.

Look there.

Enlighten me.

Is that a blobfish or what?

Man, she may not be your type.

But she's an angel to someone.

Some men have a unique taste, like me.

This chick is unique and exotic.

Just my type.

Gotcha.

Stop!

Bird of paradise.

Cut it out!

Look at that rare bird.

Told you there's something for everyone.

I can stay all night.

Cheers!

Hey!

Watch where you're going!

Sorry.

Is that enough?

I should beat you up.

Hey!

What's going on here?

-Are you messing with my friend?
-No.

I saw it!

You stepped on my toes!

My toes!

Hey!

What's going on?

Wow.

Bird of paradise.

What bird?

I'm Som.

Som…

Sweet or sour?

Juicy? Can I have a taste?

Leave some seeds for me.

Are you two together?

Looks familiar.

Partner in crime.

Let's go.

Why?

He's a criminal.

She means he's a friend.

It's good that way.

What's your problem?

I mean if you're not together,
that's great.

Let's go, Ja-eh.

Come, Sarinee.

Sure, I'm thirsty for whisky.

Let's continue.

I'm getting properly drunk.

They played all the jokes.

Nothing left for me.

Stupid clowns.

If you're in trouble, let me know, okay?

Noi.

He's completely wasted.

Are you guys okay?

Let me give you a lift.

What are you smiling at?

Nothing.

Well…

Your stop.

Wow.

Pork porridge?

That's gross.

These kids are unbelievable.

Eat it up.

Your porridge stinks!

It'll give you the runs.

BROKEN-HEARTED NUN

A NUN BREAKS MY HEART

SMALL MONK, SMALL DICK

Who's in there?

A nun!

Hurry up.

My good nun,
It took you so long to take a dump

Push them out, those brown little clumps

You're tormenting me, you little shit pump

Have mercy, hurry up and drop your dump

Push them out, make them jump

My good nun,
Time to drop those little clumps

Damn, don't rush me!

It's stuck!

Aargh!

Dui.

Ma'am.

Someone scribbled on the walls.

Scrub it off.

Yes, ma'am.

Guys.

Check out those chicks.

Where?

Hot damn.

Don't pound that mortar too hard.

What should she do?

Pound my heart instead.

Don't serve me sticky rice.

I'll serve you my own bleeding heart.

What's this?

No more somtam for me.

Why not?

I want to eat the cook.

Guys.

I'll wipe your dirty mouths with my feet.

No, no!

Your somtam tastes better.

If I didn't have this hangover…

Just ignore them.

Their days are numbered.

Hi, Noi.

When did you get out of prison?

Triple homicide.

Homicide? Prison?

Just play along.

Turn around,

but don't smile.

Why can't I smile?

Well then…

I'll smile at this girl instead.

Smart move.

It's my forte.

Sinn.

Sir.

Tomorrow make me some poached eggs.

Of course, sir.

Do you want goose eggs or red ant eggs?

Chicken eggs, idiot.

Chicken then.

I was joking.

Relax sir, you look kinda stressed out.

You're talking nonsense.

Som, A-Ngun, let's eat.

Yes, Mom.

What's the menu?

See it for yourself.

Wow, you're so sweet.

Mr. Pla!

Hello.

Hi.

Are you closed?

I want to order somtam.

It's pretty late,
there's no more papaya left.

Confused, yeah?

You don't remember?
He gave you a ride here last night.

You were as drunk as a skunk.

Why drink if you don't get drunk?

Have we met before?

Twice.

The first time you nearly ran over me.

The second time you threw up on me.

Oh, yes.

I'm sorry.

Thanks for the ride.

It's all right, but no more
crazy surprises today, okay?

Well…

You made a pass at him?

No, bitch!

We're closed, come again tomorrow morning.

A meal is on me.

I'm not in a hurry.

I'll be around for a few days.

In that case,

why don't you join us?

We're setting up the table anyway. Come.

We're about to eat.

One more mouth to feed.

Damn.

I'll serve you.

Hi there.

Hi.

Som, shall we go?

Let's go.

I heard you were dead-drunk last night.

Can't remember a thing!

I awoke with makeup on.

Hair of the dog?

No, no.

Thanks, but maybe tomorrow.

We're off now.

-Later.
-Don't worry.

"Don't worry?"

No.

You said that last night.

The guy…

is Som's boyfriend?

No! No!

Shut up.

Noi's her best friend.

He supplies fermented fish to us.

Or what they call in English…

a business partner.

Right.

Whatever.

Not her boyfriend.

Don't blame me,
I never saw your girl before

The air was nice,
So I wanna drink some more

I got drunk so I slept on the floor

Not looking for a fight
And I don't want a war

Came for a hair of the dog,
But almost got socked

I took a few sips and I almost got slogged

The girl in white gave me a smile

Her boyfriend saw it and became hostile

I just came to drink,
But she gave me a wink

I almost got floored, please, not any more

You are lovely,
But your boy got all gruffy

Please stop working your charm

I want to go home unharmed

Happy birthday, Tong!

Hey!

Hi, hi.

Thank you.

Put it down.

Careful.

Come sit down.

-Som.
-What?

These three clowns look familiar.

They were at our restaurant earlier.

Look, we're going home now.

What? Sit down and drink with us!

What's the hurry?

Are you guys already drunk?

Thai people have to drink together,
that's the spirit.

-Fai.
-Yes.

What's that song you sang?

Right, it's popular now.

"Love is a Pain in the Ass."

Music, please.

Give me a hand.

I love this song.

Written by The Cicada of Chee River.

Really.

Damn right I've got no style

So you've left me for another guy

How could you dump me just like that?

Did you forget our amorous night

In the shack under the moonlight

What has brought you out here, sir?

Who owns this plot of land?

It's part of the factory.
The owner is called…

Pla?

Yes, that's me.

The land behind the temple belongs to you?

Yes, Venerable.

I'd like to ask your permission

to start a vegetable farm on that plot.

Great idea. If I can contribute
to the community,

I'd be delighted.

Thank you.

If you need anything else,

just let me know.

Handsome boy, handsome heart.

Please excuse me then.

Go on.

Sir, food offerings from my mother.

Just put it down.

You.

What are you doing here?

To play blackjack. Nope!
I'm here to see the abbot, of course.

I should throw up on you again.

Not again.
I still can't get rid off the stink.

You two know each other?

We met a few days ago.

She was drunk and threw up on me.

What? Som!

You're a girl.

Behave yourself or no man will want you.

Take it easy with the booze, okay?

You didn't listen to me at all.

These two…

I thought you only hang out in bars.

Watch your mouth.

Just kidding.

Where to now?

Your restaurant.

To eat your somtam.

And I'll eat you as a side dish.

See you then.

Can I ride with you?

You have your car.

Can't I go with you?

No.

Auntie, is this your recipe?

"Auntie" sounds like an old hag.

-Call me "Mother".
-Sure.

-Mother, okay?
-Sure.

-Try it.
-Mother.

Good.

This is my recipe.

Sucking up to the rich boy.

Bullshit.

I don't like this.

This is so good
you should open a branch in Bangkok.

I was thinking about it,
but I don't know anyone there.

I have lots of friends in Bangkok.

If you want any help, just say it.

-Really?
-Yes.

Awesome.

Come back any time.

Bring your wife and kid too.

Well…

I'm single.

Really?

Yes.

Som is also single.

Just perfect.

Pla, what's your real name?

-My official name?
-Yes.

Apiwat.

Like the country singer.

That guy is so stuck-up, I don't like him.

You sure?

I asked him for some selfies,
he gave me only one.

How come?

Well, don't blame him.

I'm a big fan of his.

Really?

I click "Like " and "Share"
on all his posts.

Who's your favorite singer then?

I like Fon Thanasoontorn.

-That bitch?
-What's wrong?

-I hate her guts.
-Yeah?

A real stuck-up bitch.

You sure?

She ran off into her van after a concert.

Not even one selfie.

Don't blame her, I'm also a big fan.

I follow her Instagram.
She has a lot of dogs.

She only pretends to love animals.

Maybe she eats them.

Boils them alive and eats them.

Unfollow her.

Som, he's making his intention
clear to your mother.

It's as clear as day.

I envy you.
Two pretty boys are chasing you.

Me?

Nada.

Asshole Cupid.

Sometimes

you should
check yourself out in the mirror.

Bitch.

That's mean.

Looks good.

Sinn.

Sir.

This egg is rotten.

Didn't you check it first?

The sign at the shop says,

"Farm Fresh Eggs."

If it was "Rotten Eggs From Farm",
I wouldn't have bought it.

Why didn't you crack it first?

Sir, they're eggs.

How could I check them first?

Who'd let you crack an egg before buying?

This temple is a madhouse.

Who was that guy on your bike?

An acquaintance.

Jealous?

No.

Just curious.

Noi, come sit down.

Let's eat.

What's for lunch?

It's a somtam joint,

you think we'll serve spaghetti?

Ouch.

What's this?
My tongue's going to catch fire

What's with all these chilies?

Can you eat it?

If you can't, then don't.

Right.

To eat or not to eat,
that is the question.

How much you eat is how much you love her.

Should I call a fire truck?

Are you okay, Noi?

Take it.

-Thank you, sir.
-Here.

Goodbye, sir.

-Goodbye.
-Go on.

Don't sell it!

No, we'll eat it.

Come back if you want more.

Yes.

Greetings, sir.

What's the matter?

I have something to discuss with you.

What about?

About a girl.

Well, I just met her.

But I want to know
if I should go for the kill.

Why are you consulting a monk?

Go talk to your parents,
someone with experience.

Well then…

Love is a fine thing.
It's better than hatred.

If you think she's the one, go for it.

Destiny has brought you to meet her.

That's all.

Yes!

Shit!

Young love.

Be careful with chilies next time, okay?

I will.

I feel better now.

Doctor.

The patient has a brain hemorrhage
and needs an operation immediately.

What? Food poisoning can
lead to a brain hemorrhage?

Not him. Another patient in the ER.

You scared him.

I have to go now.

Thank you, Doctor.

You know what a third wheel is.

Come on.

Come with me.

She's "the third wheel"…

How are you?

Feeling better?

Much better.

Seeing your face makes me feel better.

You know…

Ten doctors are no match for you.

You should rest now.

I'll get going.

Som.

I have something to say.

I want…

I…

I have to go.

Who's that?

What?

Where did you get my number?

Greetings, sir.

Morning, Puang.

What brings you here?

Nothing much, sir.

I want Sinn to buy me two lotto tickets.

Lotto tickets?

Okay, but where is he?

Just leave the money here, I'll tell him.

Please tell him for me then.

Right, leave the money here.

What numbers?

The final two digits, 89.

Eighty-nine, two digits?

Yes, don't forget it.

You shouldn't spend too much on lotto.

May I be rich this month, sadhu!

Rich and richer!

Gambling is a sin, you know.

I'm going to be rich.

I'm her accomplice now.

Where is he?

Sinn!

-Sinn!
-Sir!

Sinn!

Coming!

Puang was here.

-My sister?
-Yes.

What did she want?

She wanted you to buy
lotto tickets at the market.

Here's the money.

What numbers?

The last two digits, 89.

-Eighty-nine.
-Yes.

-Two tickets?
-Yes.

-Eighty-nine.
-Right.

-Two digits.
-Okay.

Hey.

Take the bike. It's faster.

What?

Take the bike.

Whatever.

I told Dui to sweep the floor.

Plenty of somtam eateries in Yasothorn.

What do think of this one?

So-so.

Yours is tastier.

@LAP HONG KHA

And the cook here is…

not as pretty as you.

Wow.

Cut to the chase.

We've just met.

Only fools rush in.

To rush or not to rush isn't the point

as long as you're the right one.

I'm serious, no kidding.

Thanks.

At your service…

for the rest of my life.

My heart's melting.

I'm damn tired.

What happened?
You were gone for over an hour.

Of course, you made it harder for me.

Harder how?

The bike.

What's wrong with it?

It'd take less than
30 minutes on that bike.

I can't ride a bike.

Then why did you take it?

You said it was faster.

So I walked it all the way.
It's not faster!

-And the lotto?
-Here, sir.

Let's check the numbers.

Eighty-nine, sir.

-What's this?
-Eight.

-And this?
-Nine.

-This ticket…
-Eight.

-And this…
-Nine.

-So?
-Eight nine.

Dumbass, she wanted eight
and nine on the same ticket.

As the last two digits.

These are eight and nine.

But they have eight and nine at the back.

One has eight, the other has nine.

It's impossible talking to you.

I did what you told me to.

Now it's my fault again.

I'm out of here.

He never says things clearly.

Always picking on me.

A-Ngun, what should I do?

Heaven is testing me.

I already have one Prince Charming,
now I have another!

It's not a problem.

Claim them both.

Are you crazy?

The world has changed.

There are seven days in a week.

You're with Noi on Monday to Wednesday.

Then you're with Pla on Thursday
to Saturday.

What about Sunday?

Let me have them.

Stop it!

I'm serious.

-Eggplant seeds.
-Yes.

Papaya seeds.

And chilies.

Scatter them and sprinkle some water.

Soon they'll sprout.

Noi, I've done it before.

No need to teach a crocodile to swim.

You're insulting me.

Today's offerings, sir.

Som, A-Ngun, come.

Put the food down.

Make the offering later.

-Yes.
-Right.

Feeling better?

Much better.

Seeing your face makes me feel better.

So sweet.

Hot damn.

Hi, Pla.

Come sit down.

Greetings, sir.

I'd like to invite you to perform
a blessing at the factory.

Yes, sure.

Som, come if you're free.

I'm not free.

Som.

This isn't looking good.

Let's get out of here.

Right.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Goodbye, sir.

Until later.

She's dating multiple people.

The poor monk will be starved.

Sinn, we'd better leave.

Or there'll be casualties.

Noi with a right jab!

Pla with a right hook
and a kick in the face!

Noi elbowing Pla!

He's bleeding!

It's so hot.

Damn it, I'm tired.

Sir.

It's better to do it in the morning

or in the evening

when it's not this hot.

The scorching sun

could burn a hole in my head.

I suppose you're not very smart.

"Stupid" is actually
the right word for you.

I'm just too afraid to say it.

It'd be a sin.

So you're not smart, sir.

How about this?

You're on your own now.

We'll come back when it cools down.

Monk Ek, Monk Rong, Monk Lor,
let's take a break.

Enjoy yourself, sir.

Come, Dui.

A bunch of lazy asses.

Just trying to avoid work.

Good-for-nothings.

All of them.

Just go.

Get away from me.

Loafers.

You're flushed.

Of course, I'm a lightweight.

My face could explode…

But my heart…

will go on.

Make a move, son.

Or you'll lose Som.

What should I do?

Take her out. Get her drunk.

And punch her in the stomach.

-Punch her stomach?
-Yeah.

Just do it.

I'll be your lookout.

That's not nice.

Why not?

I'll be thrown in jail.

Come on, she's sleeping in there.

I don't want to go to jail.

One more?

Trust me.

Punch her stomach?

Yeah.

Trust me.

Where's my pork belly?

Right here.

Enjoy cooking it.

A hundred baht?

Yes.

Same price, for you.

Som.

Noi.

Shopping?

No, delivering.

Som, I want to ask you something.

Well…

Pla…

Is he making a move on you?

No, he's not.

Why do you ask?

Well, I have something to tell you.

Som.

-I…
-Hey!

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

No worries.

Hi, Noi.

Sorry.

What were you saying?

Forget it.

You going somewhere?

We…

are going to discuss some business.
Want to come along?

Go ahead.

Let's go.

See you.

Noi.

I…

want to tell you

that…

please drop this at my place.

Here.

Bye.

Let's go.

This is a good day

The millionaire is sad

The rooster is scared of rice

The pregnant girl is shocked by an ant

The steamed rice is startled by a monk

The lotus flower is afraid of Buddha

The dog is afraid of a monkey

May you join your lover in heaven

Leave me here like a loveless heathen

May you and him find each other in heaven

Sometimes,

set your mind free from the thing
that hasn't yet happened.

Give me a blessing

I have neither diamond nor gold

I don't go around on an elephant

I don't eat pizza and I don't wear a tie

I'm no good

My hands were made to hold cigarettes

But his hands were made to hold you

I'm no match for him

I'm no good

My whole life

For my whole life…

Say it.

Let it out,

Noi.

Poor and miserable people like me

will never find true love.

I know.

He's rich.

I'm poor.

You know what it's like to be poor?

That's why I became a monk.

I know

that I'm handsome,

but poverty and suffering

have clouded my appearance.

You know what it's like to be handsome?

Yes.

When I was 15,

I was working at
a construction site in Bangkok,

when a forklift rammed into
my face, "Bam!"

My face flattened
and has been like this ever since.

My dream of becoming a model was crushed.

So I became a monk.

Who's comforting who now?

Listen, Noi.

When it comes to love,

being rich or poor
has nothing to do with it.

It's all in here.

Nipples?

Dumbass.

He's wasting my time.

My hands were made to hold cigarettes

I'm no good

My hands were made to hold cigarettes

But his hands were made to hold you

I'm no match for him

I'm no good

My whole life

For my whole life…

Why did you bring me here?

To look around.

So everything will be smooth on the day.

Why didn't you hire a planner?

It'd be more convenient.

Well, a local knows better.

I talked to your mother about expanding
your eatery to Bangkok.

Would you like that?

How can I do that?

I don't know anyone
and I have no family there.

You can count me as your family.

Or I can be something even closer
if you want.

Sir, I need your advice.

What's your problem?

Men, sir.

One is innocent and sincere.

The other is warm and attentive.

Which one should I choose?

I only have answers to dharma questions.

Better ask the dating gurus,
DJ Chod and DJ Oy.

Their show's on Friday, 10 p.m.

On 100.6 MHz.

It's 106.5 MHz.

Yes, that's it.

You listen too?

Occasionally.

When I can't sleep.

Make up your mind.

Which one of them makes you happy?

Choose him.

Weigh your choices.

Put your weight on it.

Or it'll take you forever.

I'll show you.

Move.

Press the saw against the plank.

It'll be quicker.

Go nail that thing.

Watch, I'll show you.

Wait, sir.

I'm confused.

You want me to watch or to nail that.

I'm just saying…

One thing at a time.

Watch and then put the nail there.

Stop. Kids, be careful.

The rope is going to snap.

-Sinn.
-Yes.

Go buy a rope and some planks.

Me again.

Am I in a sweatshop or what?

I think it's Pla.

I think it's Noi.

It's Pla. Right?

Noi, for sure.

Pla, of course.

Noi, you think?

Stop.

Do I look like a love guru?

Pla came the other day.

Then Noi.

Then Som.

Now it's you two.

It's old-fashioned for parents to
tell their kids who to love.

I already told Som,

the one she loves

is the one who makes her happy.

Choose him.

She has to decide herself.

See, it's Pla.

Noi.

Pla.

-Noi.
-Pla.

Noi.

Go!

Take it somewhere else.

Go.

That's a nice amulet.

-What is it?
-A stuffed thing.

-What?
-Stuffed turd.

Want one?

Thanks but no thanks.

Take your husband with you.

The monk said Pla.

He meant Noi.

-Pla!
-Noi!

Pla!

I said Noi!

He said Pla!

Stuffed turd, damn it.

No need to invite the monks next time.

A waste of time.

A waste of effort.

And a waste of money.

It's a hassle

having monks around.

Well…

May you be blessed.

May you live in peace.

Let's go.

May your business prosper.

SORNRAM'S SOMTAM & ROAST CHICKEN

Hey, Noi.

You said you were busy.

It's nothing, please continue.

Have some somtam.

Next up, "Love, Passion, Jealousy".

Enjoy the show.

Noi.

Noi!

Where are you going?

What do you care?

What's wrong with you?

I'm poor, that's what.

I have nothing to make you like me.

Why are you saying this?

It's the truth.

He's rich.

It's normal.

Everyone wants an easy life.

Stop insulting me!

I'm not, I'm being honest.

How many days have you known him?

How many days?

Money can buy everything.

Even love.

Even you.

Even your heart.

Stop accusing me!

Stop talking nonsense!

Stop making assumptions.

Stop insulting me!

I'm speaking the truth!

Bullshit factory!

One meter…

Three should be enough.

Sinn.

Hurry up and finish it.

So the kids can play.

The kids will have fun,

but I'm sweating like a pig.

Why do you always complain?

Dui, put the ropes down.

What are you looking at?

You go up and test it.

No, I'm scared of heights.

Sinn, you do it.

I don't have time to die, sir.

What if the rope snaps
and I fall to my death?

My life is already hopeless.

Don't make me die so stupidly.

I think you should go up.

If the rope snaps and you fall,

it'll be such a dignified death.

Die like a courageous monk.

They'll build you a monument.

You go.

Three… and nine…

Three times nine is what?

Twelve, sir.

Moron!

Three times nine is 12…

Five… eight…

What about five minus eight?

Twenty.

This clown's cracking me up.

Go with Dui to paint the wall.

Yes.

Dui.

What do we get if we mix yellow with red?

It will look like shit.

Shit!

You're so blessed, sir…

having us as your minions.

Som, what's wrong?

Nothing.

When are you free?

Let's go to Bangkok and check out a place

for my somtam joint.

Seriously?

I'm free.

Always free.

I'm free for the rest of my life.
We can go now.

Tomorrow is okay.

Where did you get these chairs?

Put them away and return them.

You slackers.

How many times do I have to tell you?

All the guests have left.

Why are you still here, hey?

Do you plan to stay here all night?

Get up!

Is it strong enough?

Let's test it.

Monk Chai can fly!

The flying monk!

Hi, Mother. Hi, Father.

Hi, Pla.

Let me get that.

Please take care of my girls.

I will, don't worry.

I'll take good care of them.

Take mine too.

Take care.

Yes, Mom. See you.

Good luck.

Bye.

What?

Noi's delivery.

But where is he?

Do you know?

Take it.

I feel sorry for Noi.

If something happens to my daughter,
I'll go after you.

Well, are you happy?

Scoring a rich son-in-law.

Of course.

Good luck, girls.

Let's go inside.

Felt like I was breathing my last breath

When you said goodbye
You condemned me to death

Life was hopeless and I was speechless

I could only stare at the sky

Like a madman, deranged and petrified

A pill can cure a headache

But heartache

Tormented me more than death

Girl, why did you do this to me?

My heart smothered

My body cannot recover

Will you please come back to me?

Girl, tell me you'll come back to me

Did you forget the fermented fish
In a bowl painted with chicken?

The somtam sauce that made
Your heartbeat quicken

The fermented fish we once ate together

The old bowl of sauce will be ours forever

NO FISHING

MOTHER

Felt like I was breathing my last breath

When you said goodbye

You condemned me to death

Oh love, come back and hurt me no more

My warm arms are waiting

To hold you like before

BROTHER

My warm arms are waiting

To hold you like before

Welcome.

You two wait here.

Good afternoon.

I phoned yesterday.

Thanks.

Your key.

Tomorrow's my mother's birthday.

Put on your best dress.

I don't have one.

Don't worry.

Leave it to me.

Just go with him.

Well, go get some rest.

Sweet dreams.

Don't forget to dream about…

About…

So lame.

Just say it!

Pathetic.

You look like a sick dog.

When was your last shower?

You ooze dog smell too.

Love hurts, right?

Sinn.

He didn't measure the high tide.

We have to raise the bridge
a few more inches.

Let's test it.

Who's that?

Monk Chai!

He can walk on water!
I have to take a video!

Record…

and share.

Wow.

He's invisible!

Monk Chai can perform miracles!

A holy man in our village!

Damn Sinn!

He's only done half the bridge.

Damn it!

Dui!

Dui!

Get up!

Goddamn fish!

Don't nibble there!

My poor willy.

Come look at this.

Monk Chai can walk on water.

It's a miracle!

It's mine!

Look at these people.

Stop it!

You're being superstitious.

I don't have a super power.

I can't perform miracles.

Not with the snake.

Not on the bridge.

The flying monk rumor is utter nonsense.

If you want my robe, go ahead.

Share it.

Damn, I'll have to go
buy a new one for him.

Sir.

You've been wearing the yellow robe.

Don't you want to try red sometimes?

Dui, which color is he?

Color blind, I think.

Good, he's neutral then.

Som.

You look beautiful.

It took too much effort to look beautiful.

Exhausting for me, I guess.

Just for today.

Who's this?

Meet my dad and my mom.

This is Som.

Good afternoon.

Wow, Som.

You're as pretty as Pla described.

Pla has good taste.

Sit down.

You're from Yasothorn, like us?

Yes.

Yasothorn girls are gorgeous.

Pla!

What are you doing here?

Our gang is over there.

Mom, Dad.

Let me steal Pla for a minute.

And you.

When someone barges in like this,

you're supposed to scooch over.

So provincial.

Please excuse us.

Let's go.

I'll be back in a minute.

Every film has a jealous bitch, right?

Yes. Our series too.

After the news, don't forget to watch.

What would you like to eat?

Steak, salad or spaghetti?

Dig in.

Go on.

-Do you have kua mee noodles?
-What?

They don't serve that in Bangkok.

I heard you make delicious somtam.

Is it true?

Yes.

Yasothorn somtam is the best.

Thanks.

May you be ever richer and more beautiful.

Thank you!

Order whatever you want.

Please excuse me a minute.

Where are you going?

To take a leak.

Okay.

Don't splatter it on your dress. Go on.

Chop chop.

It's great.
The nature, the people, everything.

Som!

Let me introduce you to my friends.

This is Som.

Wow, a few days in Yasothorn

and you've already hooked up with a chick.

What hook up? She's just Pla's friend!

Hi Som, have you eaten?

I'm not hungry.

What do you do, Som?

I sell somtam in Yasothorn.

Som is a marvelous somtam chef.

I'm helping her open a shop here.

Are you sure?

Somtam, really?

You should open Chinese, Japanese,

Korean or European restaurants.

Somtam is bad business.

Right, there are plenty of
somtam joints already in Bangkok.

Keep your money for something more useful.

Well, just wait and see first.

Maybe Som is good at grinding.

I mean grinding ingredients.

Right, Pla?

Rhythmic grinding,

and working the pestle.

Or maybe…

You like her tongue?

Well.

I mean, when she tastes somtam.

I'm going to take a leak.

Pla, I was kidding.

You offended her!

See, she stormed off.

Son.

Yes, Mom.

Are you serious about this girl?

Yes, I am.

Or I wouldn't have brought her today.

Monk Rong, run through my schedule.

Am I busy this month?

There's Monk Sompong's
kathin ceremony on the 18th.

Right.

On the 20th is Marn's funeral.

Marn's dead?

Covid.

He died of Covid?

No, he survived Covid.

But he died because of a coyote.

A wild dog?

His wife stabbed him
after she caught him with a stripper.

I see.

Poor man.

Where did he die?

Chiang Rai.

Sinn.

Sir.

Get me some ginger tea.

Coming right up.

Put it in the wave.

-You want it hot?
-Yes.

Sure.

This is a safe.

He said "wave", the microwave.

You're so daft.

This is the microwave, idiot.

Let me do it.

Get lost.

I'll do it.

Genius, yeah?

"Wave" means a microwave.

Moron.

Stupid.

Warm it up for three minutes.

Do you want a Nobel Prize?

What's that for?

Som.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

I'm sorry for what my friends said.

I never thought of you that way.

It's all right.

I'm just not used to this place
and to your people.

I…

I'm going back to the hotel.

Let me drive you.

No, I can go by myself.

Pla!

Pla!

Time for the birthday cake.

Well…

Don't you dare.

I know what you're thinking.

I know everything, I just didn't say it.

Let's go.

Come on.

Please, don't walk out on me

Stay a while longer

I beg you

This love of mine, does it mean nothing?

Like a rotten egg tossed out
From a warm nest

It's all right.

I like it salty.

You like khao jee?

Yes.

Do you like the khao jee maker?

Just kidding.

Som.

Som.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

I just feel like…

I don't belong here.

You think too much.

Maybe.

But I…

I want to go home.

Come on, Som.

Stop tormenting yourself.

I almost forgot!

I'll be right back.

What is it?

Noi asked me to give it to you.

I have no idea what it is.

Just check it out.

Som.

My heart is filled with joy

every time I write down
my feelings towards you.

Sometimes I just want to slap my own mouth

for not allowing my heart to speak,

so you can hear what's in my mind.

I've always known

that I…

should say it out loud.

I love you,

Som.

I love you.

But you can't say I've never tried.

I love you.

-Noi.
-Yeah?

Hand me a plate.

In fact,

I said it every time we met,

and I hope

that one day your heart will hear it.

But if I say it out loud,

will you say it back?

I love you.

I love you so much.

Well, your answer isn't important,

because I love you anyway.

I love you, Som.

"The wind, please whisper
into Som's ear that I love her."

If I could turn back time,
I would never hold it back.

But now it's impossible.

It's just too late.

I wish you all the happiness

now that you're with the one you love.

I love you, Som!

Not again.

Noi!

You know it's useless!

Stop howling like a madman.

She can't hear you.

You should've told her while you could.

Wish you knew me when I was young.

If only you were a knockout like me,

she wouldn't ditch you like that.

Good luck, Som,

and goodbye.

Speak of the devil.

Do you want to go home?

So now I understand

I'm a dog abandoned and stranded

After everything I've done

You threw me out like scum

I told you how much I love you

But my tears are worth nothing

The whole town is gossiping

There's a new guy you're seeing

Where is Noi's house?

I'll go ask Monk Chai.

Noi!

Noi is becoming a monk.

Som, wake up!

Look, Noi is going to become a monk.

Noi!

You can't do this!

Why not?

Who the hell are you?

My mother didn't stop me!

Bitch.

Noi's not here.

He's going to see his mother
in Nakhon Phanom.

He'll be away for two weeks.

He might have already left.

Som.

I'm going to Noi's.

-Sinn.
-Yes.

-You do it.
-All right.

Done, sir.

Trendy monk.

I did it again.

Are you okay with it?

Cat got his tongue.

What do you think?

Noi!

Don't do it!

Noi.

I'm back.

Don't kill yourself.

Get down.

I was making a swing.

What's wrong with that?

Noi.

Do you have something to tell me?

Something I never get to hear.

Say it now.

It doesn't matter.

It probably does.

Try it.

Say it.

You want to tell me

you love me, right?

Fine.

Never mind.

If you don't say it,

I will.

I love you, Noi.

Well then,

I'm leaving now.

Pla.

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

Pla.

Are you sure?

Sure.

Love me, love me not?

You monkey, are you trying to fool me?

Only a few days and your love has expired

Apple of my eye
You're toying with my mind

Love me, love me not?

My tears are hot
'Cause you've left me cold

If you'd told me, I wouldn't be so bold

I've been waiting
But your love's a no-show

It's a sin to break a man's heart

You're smart to play me for a fool

But deceiving me is not so cool

Watch out
'Cause karma will catch up with you

Love me, love me not?

You smile while hanging me out to dry

Heaven is not worth your lies

You're so fine
While I'm nursing my wounded pride

Love me, love me not?

You monkey, are you trying to fool me?

Only a few days and your love has expired

Apple of my eye
You're toying with my mind

Love me, love me not?

My tears are hot
'Cause you've left me cold

If you'd told me, I wouldn't be so bold

I've been waiting
But your love's a no-show

It's a sin to break a man's heart

You're smart to play me for a fool

But deceiving me is not so cool

Watch out
'Cause karma will catch up with you

Love me, love me not?

You smile while hanging me out to dry

Heaven is not worth your lies

You're so fine
While I'm nursing my wounded pride

I love you, Som.

My tears flow like a river

When you said we were over

My knees gave out, my legs folded

When you left me out in the cold

Please don't go

Are you okay?

I'm good.

What are you looking at?

Never seen an angel?

Never.

But I've seen a goddess once.

What are you staring at?

Never seen a goddess?

That's why I look like shit now.

Cuckoo.

I'm an angel, not a goddess.

My angel…

It'll be "Double Jeopardy" for me.

We're punch-drunk.

And in a funk.

So we'll come to see a monk.

The monk is not monkeying around.

So we monkeys come round.

To meet the monk in the monkey ground.

Guess there'll be a sequel.

What's the title?

Monk Chai and Loony Tai Ban.

Light on.

I have a super power.

So you'll move to Yasothorn?

Yes.

I'm not a mama's boy like him.

Maybe you already forgot all about me.

Never.

Morning.

Good morning, Som.

Congrats on your new business.

Thank you. Come in.

Wait for me. My ass is heavy.

It keeps getting heavier every year.

Thank you, Bua.

Please be kind to Noi.

Don't worry.
We're best drinking buddies now.

Glad to hear that.

So you see,

it's as I told you.

Our oranges are two different fruits.

Sour and tangy in Nakhon Phanom.

Sweet and tender in Yasothorn.

Don't rub it in!

In loving memory of Pornsak Songsang.

"The man with the dragon tattoo
on his left arm."

Want to compete with the Yellow team?

-Is that a Malaysian team?
-No. I mean, our Venerable Chai.

You're gonna burn in hell
for disrespecting him.