So Long, Stooge (1983) - full transcript

This film was restored by PATHÉ
in 2014

- Hi!
- Sir.

Break down?

How much d'you need?

How much what, sir?

Gus.

I'm not out of gas.

I need a spark plug.

What kind?

For mopeds.

For mopeds?



I'm all out of those.

That's OK, sir. I'll walk.

I live nearby.

Bye.

- Morning, Dufour.
- 'Night, Lambert.

Give me a beer.

Want the dough? Hurry up!

Where's the stuff?

It's not here.

Wait for me at the bar.

I want it now!

I'll be back.

- Show me.
- Wait at the bar.

Fuck off.



Anybody here?

Easy, easy...
What do you want?

What?... Gimme some gas!

D'you work here?

Yes.

D'you know how long
I've been waiting?

I was off on an errand.
D'you mind?

Fill it up!

Okay, okay! Don't wake up
the whole neighborhood!

- Premium?
- Yes.

You got it.

Who's making that ruckus?

- Me!
- Him!

Can't a guy take a crap?

Who works here? You or him?

What d'you care? He's my nephew.
You want gas, right?

Thanks.

Could you check the oil?

Shall I?

No, I'll do it.

240.

Thanks. You saved my dinner.

I'm hungry, too.
Nothing's open around here.

How much?

10 francs.

No thanks. I never drink.

Against your religion?

What religion?

I thought Arabs didn't drink.

"Arab" isn't a religion.

It isn't?

Aren't you Arab?

Not exactly.

Arabs, Moroccans;
I can't tell the difference.

Don't you get bored
working here all alone?

I'm not alone.

- You live around here?
- Down the block...

right nearby.

You work in a garage?

Why d'you ask?

You're always changing motorcycles.

I swap them with my friends.

You shouldn't leave them lying around.

Bikes are easy to lift.

I've got a chain and a good lock.

D'you work?

I do odd jobs...

Mostly I'm a bartender.

How old are you?

You ain't gonna quiz me all night!

Okay. I'll stop.

I haven't talked for years.
Why start now?

Can I sit down?

Want some gum?

- Want to know my age?
- Who cares?

They say I'm half Arab, half Jew.

Who told you?

My adoptive father.

He's like my real father.

Are your adoptive parents Arab?

They're dead.

No relatives?

I have an uncle: Farid Bensoussan.

The king of couscous.

He owns a restaurant chain.

Why not work for him?

I want to make it on my own.

What d'you want to do?

Got plans?

Of course. Don't you?

Not anymore.

We've been talking for 3 hours,
and I don't even know your name.

Lambert.

- Lambert what?
- Lambert.

Lambert Lambert?

- What's yours?
- Bensoussan.

Youssef.

You're a nice guy.

You married?

Got any kids?

What do I owe you?

Want to borrow my bike?

I take the subway home.

This is where I live.

We're neighbors.

Go get my bike for me.

Hurry up, I'm closing!

You've come to the wrong place.

But they said...

They were wrong.

I've got money.

I don't want it.

What's your price?

I don't know
what you're talking about. Get out.

I've got cash.

Take a walk!

Go ask over there.

Where were you?

- Did you ride it?
- No, I swear!

- The engine's hot.
- It wasn't me!

Don't give me that shit!

I don't even have a license!

Watch it, smartass!

- It wasn't me!
- Get lost!

What's that?

Drugs?

Are you crazy?

It's only a joint!

It all starts with a joint!

Are you nuts?
What's with you, anyway?

Look what you shoot up every night!
Every single night!

You've got your shit, I've got mine!

To each his own!

Give the bike a polish.

You like it?

Want to go for a ride?

Lay off!

Wait!

Will you really take me for a ride?

Hey, Lola!

I'll be back in a minute!

They're all whores.

She's just a woman.

All women are whores.

At least whores are honest about it.

My mom was no whore.

- How d'you know?
- I just know!

I have nothing against whores.

What's your gripe against women?

Sometimes, I think
I could full for a whore.

Want to be a pimp?

That's not what I mean.

I often wonder why they do it.

Maybe I could help a girl
go straight.

Couldn't you meet a girl
who isn't a whore?

Do you only fuck whores?

No, but mostly.

Who do you fuck?

Myself.

I'd never steal from an Arab.

How about some Coke?

Sure, with lots of rum.

Finish your story.

I have a date with her tonight.
I'm freaking out.

Where's your date?

At a punk club.

A punk club!

I think she's after your Honda!

Who does it belong to?

My boss, Rachid.

You stole it?

I borrowed it.

I bet you don't have a license.

Don't worry: I'm a big boy.

Leave your bike here!
You'll see if it's you she's after.

Gimme a break.

I forbid you to take that bike.
Leave it here.

I'm telling you: just walk...

Mind your own business!

The other day you slapped me
for rolling a joint!

I don't need your lectures!

I do as I please!

I don't need your advice!

Don't try to run my life!

What do you know about women?

Take a good look, Lambert.

You'll never see me again!

Is that your date?

Look at Lola's date!

Leave me alone!

- You ready?
- I can't go.

- But you said...
- I changed my mind.

I'm with my friends.

Sorry.

What are you doing...

tomorrow?

No way: I'm busy tomorrow.

Tough luck!

I'm free Tuesday night.

How about it?

Sure. But not here.

At the café where we met.
10 p.m.

Don't forget.

Hi, Mahmoud.

What's up?

Something wrong?

Not at all!

We came to have a little chat...

about Rachid's motorcycle.

Who did this to you?

Mahmoud.

I warned you about that bike.

Don't move: I'll fix you up.

You're a real mother hen.

What about the punk?

She's a bitch.

- Did she show?
- Yeah, but she wasn't alone.

We have a date Tuesday.

You going?

She pisses me off.
I'm gonna lay her.

Looking like this?

I don't give a shit.

Get some sleep.

Look what they did to my books!

That's not your bike.

Think I'm blind or something?

- Let's go.
- Where's your bike?

At the shop.
I got into an accident.

But I wasn't hurt:
Just a few scratches.

You coming?

Is this your bike?

The garage lent it to me...

till the other one's fixed.

Christ! Slow down!

Where are you taking me?

I live here.

I have a studio.

You live alone?

Come on.

This is it.

You read it all?

Say when.

Sit down.

- You don't waste time!
- You turn me on.

Wait a minute...

I have to take off my lipstick.

Keep it on.

No, it'll smear all over my face.

This is all I have.
Here's a clean edge.

Sure you wouldn't rather keep it on?

Fine, then we won't kiss.

Okay, okay.

D'you ever wear skirts?

You don't like my pants?

I haven't taken them off yet.

They're fine.

- You screwed her?
- Only once.

- She wouldn't do it again.
- Why not?

I don't know. It was great.

I could've screwed her all night.
But she wanted to go for a ride.

We were at the Bastille...

We had no helmets.

Where's your helmet?

Are you nuts?
Wanna get us busted?

Stop, or I'll jump!

I swear I'll jump!

You asshole!

Take it easy.
They won't find you here.

She came, I know she did.

I heard her.

Sure you don't want an egg?

Why aren't you at work?

I called in sick.

I brought you something.

Jamaican rum.

I bought it in Belleville.

Don't you like it?

It's great, thanks.

Good stuff!

Can I tell you something?

Go ahead. I'm listening.

I'm not a bartender.

I'm a pusher.

You're kidding?

You don't believe me.

Sure I do.

You deal. You sell smack.

Who's your connection?

Rachid.

A North African?

Are you disappointed?

I don't give a damn.

Who cares?

You'll die soon enough.

Stay here. I'll go.

Shit!

I called Rachid: I'm in real trouble.
He's a mean bastard.

I've got to pay him back.

How much?

Forty hits: 8,000 francs worth!

Got that much?

I've only got 2,000.
I sent the rest to my mother.

Here's 800 francs...

Take the cashbox.

450 francs.

That makes 3,250 francs.
Give him that.

I'll get on advance
on my salary tomorrow.

Take it!
I'll cut down on my drinking!

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything.

I'd better get going.

I'll go pick up my money.

When will you be back?

I'll be by later.

Watch out.

Ciao, Lambert.

It's overflowing!

Sorry.

Gas is expensive enough as it is!

220 francs.

It was Mahmoud.

It hurts!

Looking for someone?

Does Bensoussan live here?

Police officer Bauer.
You a friend of his?

I work at the gas station
where he died.

He told me he lived here.

You work there...

and you don't know him, uh?

He came in a few times for gas.

I found this lighter
as I was cleaning up.

Maybe his family would like it.

He lived alone.

Keep it. It may not be his.

If I take it to the station,
I'll have to file a report on it.

What did he do with all these books?

Maybe he read them.

Think so?

How should I know?
I barely knew him.

Don't grieve for him.

He was just a small-time pusher.

I had my eye on him,
but I wanted to wait...

before busting him.

I'm glad you dropped in.

I was going to ask you
to come by the station.

How did it happen?

He was at the pump...

and the other bike came roaring up.

Intentionally?

I don't think so.

I think they were out of control.

- An accident?
- Yes.

Any more questions?

No.

- I know where to find you.
- Goodbye.

Just for a few days.

I need a check-up.

Find someone to replace me.

I'll be back as soon us possible.

Thank you.

A Ricard.

An expresso, Rachid.

Hey, kids!
You still want to rock?

To hell with the clean look!

To hell with funk and rap!

Time for some outrageous

punk rock!

D'you know a chick named Lola?

D'you know Lola?

Are you Lola?

I'm looking for a blond.

Get moving, gimpy!

D'you know Lola?

She's already left.

That's her over there.

Beat it!

Screw you! Let's go, Mickey!

What's wrong with that chick?

Can we talk?

What d'you want?

Are you Lola?

What d'you want?

- To talk.
- About what?

Bensoussan.

Who's he?

How about the hot motorcycle?

I didn't know he'd stolen that bike!

Has he been arrested?

He's dead.

Who's that guy?

I didn't know him.

I only saw him twice.

You slept with him.

Are you kidding?

He told me when and where.

So what if I did?

Know how he made his living?

He was a pusher.

I didn't know anything about that.
I don't use the stuff.

I spent only 3 hours with the guy.

I didn't know him.

What d'you expect me to do?

I need your help.

Help a cop? No way!

I work in a gas station.

You look like a cop.

I don't give a shit!

Sit down.

My name is Lambert.
An easy name to remember.

I live at 35, rue Charlot.
You have till tomorrow to decide.

What d'you want me to do?

I want to find Mahmoud.
The guy who killed Bensoussan.

I need his address.

He hangs out at a bar called
Chez Rachid.

Why not go there yourself?

I look like a cop.

You jerk!

Leave me out of this.

Think it over.

Leave me alone, you fucking asshole!

You coming, Lola?

Not in that heap, I won't!

Hands off!

- Leave me alone!
- Come on!

- I don't feel like it!
- Come on!

I said no!

Don't bother coming back
to the squat!

Who gives a shit about your squat?

- Who needs you!
- Right!

Snob!

What a loser!

Piss off!

What took you so long?
You deaf?

I was asleep.

Calmed down now?

Turn on the lights.

What d'you want me to do?

I already told you.

Is he really dead?

He died in my arms.

He lives in a squat:

24, rue Julien Lacroix.

Who is it?

Rachid sent me.

What d'you want?

Let me in.

What is it?

Are you nuts?

- What is this?
- Bensoussan.

Who's he?

Get her out of here.

Go on!

You don't know him?

Never heard of him.

Don't move, Mahmoud.

Why's your coat burned?

It's not my coat.

This coat was burned
at a gas station.

Know who was wearing it?

No!

You.

- You a cop?
- No.

What're you after?

Did you kill him on Rachid's orders?

Kill who?

Stop!

Are you nuts?

We didn't mean to kill him.

Maybe not, but he's dead!

Get back!

- Not you again!
- Thanks a lot.

I told you to split.

Know how to make coffee?

Where is it?

There's some instant in the kitchen.

- Not having any?
- It tastes awful.

- What'd you do to it?
- It's not my fault!

You put in the whole jar?

Look in the fridge.

What for?

You could make some eggs.

Who d'you think I am?
Your maid?

Make your own eggs!

Why are you here, then?

Go to hell.

Get out!

I don't mean to kick you out...

but you don't belong here.
I appreciate your help...

but that's it.

I've no money. I'm just a drunk.

Who asked for your help?

I know.

I can't figure you out.
What d'you want?

Nothing.

Then get out.

Poor slob!

Who is it?

Bauer.

Come in.

Have a seat.

- Are you busy?
- No.

Why didn't you tell me?

Tell you what?

That you were one of us...

an inspector.

That's ancient history.

Tell me about it.

You retired after your son's death.

You came here to talk about him?

Wasn't he an addict?

What's the connection?

I'm just trying
to piece things together.

Leave my son out of it.

Okay.

I just don't know...
I can't figure out why

you didn't tell the truth.

What truth?

The truth
that always comes out in the end.

Asthma.

Know what I mean?

Dreadful illness.

You asthmatic?

I'm not...

but a guy who lives
behind the gas station is.

He saw what happened to Bensoussan.

You weren't serving him gas.

He was killed by 2 guys on a motorcycle.

Why did you lie?

- Drop it!
- No way!

I'm not a cop anymore.
I'm a nobody.

Leave me alone!

You didn't work last night?

No, I took a break.

D'you know Dufour,
the mun on the day shift?

I see him every morning.
He's a nice guy.

He was.

He's dead.

He took your shift last night.

They really messed him up.

Looked as if he'd been tortured.

I think they got the wrong mun.

They were after the guy
on the night shift.

Better watch it...

when you go back to work.

He probably gave them your address
before he died.

I doubt it. Who cares?

Be careful anyway.

Aren't you going to answer?

Must be a mistake.

- Who is it?
- Lola.

Still catching up on your sleep?

Your daughter?

- Who's he?
- A cop.

That's obvious.

I'm his girlfriend.

Lucky man.

Another two-bit pusher
got himself killed this morning.

A certain Mahmoud.

The composite drawing
looks a lot like you.

See you later.

Stop drinking!

Leave me alone.

Drunkard!

What of it?

What're you after? Sex?

With you?
You must be nuts!

What d'you want?

Kiss me.

Crazy broad!

Get out of here!
I want to be left alone!

I'm staying.
I'll even make your eggs for you.

You can't.
My life's scrambled enough as it is.

Go away!
Forget you ever knew me!

I don't exist. Get it?

- Come on!
- Don't touch me!

It's dangerous to stick around here.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Why don't you run away?

Why'd you stop the music?

Stay out of there.

I didn't touch anything!

Whose room is it?

Your son's?

Where is he?

Close the door. I need sleep.

Don't move.

Not a word.

Open the door.

Roll in your bike.

- Are you crazy?
- Roll it in!

Hurry up!

Put it on its stand.

- What d'you want?
- To talk.

- About what?
- Top secret.

Are you a cop?

D'you know Bensoussan?

- Who's that?
- You don't know?

Stop!

Shut up!
I'm the one who killed Mahmoud.

What d'you want?

Was it your idea to kill the guy
at the gas station?

Who?

- Cut the crap.
- Stop!

What guy?

The one you tortured to death.
The witness to Bensoussan's murder.

That ring a bell?

You blew it, Rachid.
That witness was me.

I don't get it!

Does this jog your memory?

The attendant gave us your name!
You're a dead man!

What do I care?
You'd be doing me o favor.

You've got 3 seconds.

Where've you been?

You look strange.

Something wrong?

I'm tired.

Come to bed.

Go buck to sleep.

We've discovered that Bensoussan...

was a friend of Mahmoud.

They both hung out at Rachid's bar.

Why you so interested?

I'm obsessed!

I've been trying to crack
this ring for months.

They'll wind up legalizing it.

Why not burn the poppy fields?

Not a bad idea.

Rachid and Mahmoud are dead.

Or were they executed?

If Sylvio got it next...

I'd think someone was taking the law
into his own hands.

Who's Sylvio?

Keep this to yourself.

He's the top man who supplied Rachid.

Rachid wasn't alone.

There are hundreds of his kind.

So forget you ever heard of them.

Don't worry.
I sell gas, not smack.

Sylvio has a front: a restaurant.

It's open late.

He lives above it.

Apartment facing the street.

Never heard of it.

Like Lebanese food? Dolmades...

Tabbouleh is a Lebanese salad.

It's made with bulgur wheat.

Very tasty.

Listen, Bauer.

What are you after?

Where were you tonight?

Why?

That's why I'm here. I've been

officially instructed
to ask you where you were.

Personally, I don't care.

Where were you?

He was with me.

We stayed home and screwed all night.

What if I told you...

that I went to Rachid's,

killed him, and set his bar on fire?

You've got a good alibi.

I still like my theory.

An enforcer.

Someone who gets the criminal
before the police do...

who pays off scores.

Old scores.

- What d'you think?
- I don't think.

Right.

You're a man of action.

Good night.

Don't worry.

You've got a beautiful alibi.

Don't go! You can't kill them all!

Leave me alone.

I won't let you go!
I'm coming with you!

Don't you see
they're going to kill you?

I'm already dead.

What is it?

Telegram for Mr. Sylvio.

Put it under the door.

On your feet!

Get up!

I was a cop's cop.
You know the type.

"Inspector Lambert".

Patriotic as hell.

I don't care.

I was your typical asshole.

I never had time for my son...

except to yell at him.

My work was all that mattered.

One day he got sick
of having a jerk for a father.

He started shooting up at 16.

I decided to make him quit.

So I locked him in his room
for 2 weeks...

on a diet of bread and water.

Like a real cop.

I would've put him in jail
if I could.

He kept screaming for a fix.

What he needed was a real father.

One day my wife let him out.

He run away.

He died of an overdose a week later.

It was only then that I realized.

My wife left me,
and I stopped being u jerk.

But it was too late.

Kiss me.

I forgot my stockings.
Where are the keys?

I'll wait in the courtyard.

Subtitles: Julie Plunkett

A 4K restoration carried out
by Eclair Group on the image

und by L.E. Diapason on the sound
with the support of the CNC