So Long Mr. Chumps (1941) - full transcript
The stooges are street cleaners who find some valuable bonds and return them to their owner. The man is so grateful that he offers them a big reward if they can find an honest man with executive ability. Their search leads them to a woman who's fiancée is honest, but he's in jail. The boys decide to commit a crime so they can go behind bars to find him. In prison the boys locate the man and help him escape, only to find out that their benefactor is a con man and on the way himself to the slammer.
What are you guys doin'?
Playin' a game?
Spear that paper.
Clean that rubbish.
Tote that barge.
Lift that bale.
A-a-and swing it!
Oh! Mmph!
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Ow!
That's a coincidence.
How'd you get under the paper?
Whoo!
Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Oh!
- Mmph!
- What's the matter with you?
- A bumblebee bit me.
- Bumblebee nothin'.
Take this broom
and sweep up.
Yes, sir. We have met the enemy,
and they belong to us.
- Right.
- Right.
Oh!
Mmm. I get to...
Oh!
Flypaper!
Oh!
Oh.
Nyuh.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Wait a minute, Moe,
I'll get it off.
Oh!
Ow! Oh.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Oh, look!
A bird's nest.
Bird's nest?
That's my hair.
Just because you're stuck-up,
you don't have to hit me.
No, I don't.
Oh, look.
I struck oil. Eee!
Struck oil?
You're "scrap" happy.
These oil bonds belong
to a Mr BO Davis.
Here's his name and address,
and we're gonna return 'em.
- Oh, no, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
No, gimme 'em!
Look!
Come on.
Get up outta there, you.
What are you doin'?
So it shouldn't be a total loss,
I'm takin' a bath.
- A bath?
- Certainly.
- A bath?
- Sure.
How do you spell it?
He never heard of it.
Gimme that towel.
- No!
- You heard me. Let me have it.
Ooh!
Come here, you!
Come here! Come here!
Gentlemen, as a reward
for your honesty,
I'm going to give you
a position.
Oh, boy.
A position, huh?
Hey, wait a minute.
Do we have to work?
Not exactly.
All I want you to do
is find me an honest man
with executive ability.
If you find me an honest man
and he qualifies,
I'll give you a bonus
of five thousand dollars.
Could we have some money
on account?
Yeah, on account of
we're broke.
Why, certainly.
Thanks.
We're on our way
for an honest man.
We'll bring him back
as fast as we can.
Excelsior!
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk,
nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Hmm. Have this refilled.
I still don't see how this'll
help us find an honest man.
It's simple, sap.
An honest man'll return the wallet.
A dishonest man'll keep it.
Well, I hope so.
We've tried everything else.
The bait.
I hope
this wire holds.
It will.
Hey!
- He got our bait!
- The faker!
That faker ain't no faker.
He's a crook.
The next crook that tries to
steal this'll wish he hadn't.
Yeah, he'll get
a hot foot in the pocket.
And how!
He'll get...
Mmph!
No smokin'.
I said, no smokin'!
Ungh! Oh! Mmph!
Remind me
to have you stuffed.
Okay.
Now, wait till I get
that battery.
This'll do the stunt.
I'll press that wire
up against there
and blow him
to kingdom come.
Look out, now.
I'll fix that crook.
I guess we got him.
This is disgusting.
You're right. We haven't even
come near an honest man.
This wallet gag
won't work.
Nice pooch.
The only honest man we've found
all day, and it's a dog.
Yeah, but he wouldn't make
a good business executive.
Or would he?
He's callin' us.
He wants us to follow him.
Maybe he'll lead us to
an honest man. Come on!
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
- Hello.
- Is that your dog, lady?
- Yes.
Well, you should be
proud of him, madam.
He's the only honest man
left in the whole world.
Oh, no, he isn't.
My sweetheart is honest.
Very honest.
Yeah?
Where is he?
In jail.
If he's so honest,
what's he doin' in jail?
He was wrongfully accused
of stealing,
but he didn't do it.
He's honest.
Honest, he's honest.
She might be right.
Maybe all the honest men
are in jail.
Oh, if you could only
help him to escape,
I'm sure I could prove
he's innocent.
We'll do it.
What's his name?
Pomeroy. Percy Pomeroy,
convict number 41144.
Oh, you must help me.
You must!
Don't worry, madam.
We'll get him out of jail, if we
have to go into jail to do it.
Oh, how can I ever thank you?
Don't try.
Honesty has its own reward.
We'll get our just deserts.
Here's where we go to jail.
Then we'll find our honest man.
Oh, boy!
Aah!
- Oh, smart guy, huh?
- Hey, wait!
- Wait just a minute, officer!
- You're coming along with me, now.
Wait! Wait!
How do ya like that?
Well, at least
I'll go to jail.
Come on.
Stick 'em up.
Get a cop.
Come on.
Oh!
Pardon me.
We're lookin' for a cop.
- Yeah.
- Hey, you're a cop.
It's a holdup!
Ah, so it's Gyp.
Nice work, boys.
You've helped me capture
public enemy number one,
Gyp the People.
Come on, you.
It's all your fault, mallet-head.
You gummed up the works.
Yeah, you were supposed
to hold him up.
I did, but he stuck this gun
in my ribs like that.
Then he said to me, "Stick 'em up
or I'll let ya have it."
Then he started to pull
the trigger, and I didn't know...
Whoa!
Oh. A lighter.
Maybe this is a lighter too.
I didn't know...
Oh!
Oh! Ooh!
Why, you imbecile.
Ooh! Oh! Ooh!
Oh!
Look!
A police station.
That's the place
to get pinched. Come on.
Sergeant, we wanna
make a confession.
Yeah? What did ya do?
Kill Cock Robin,
or start the
San Francisco earthquake?
Small stuff, Sergeant,
old Sargie.
We just held up
the First National Bank
and shot two guards.
Oh, yeah? I'll bet you did.
Hello. Yeah?
What?
First National Bank's
being held up?
Two guards just shot?
Come on, fellas.
Let's get goin'.
Station house is the place
to get pinched, huh?
Come on, shut up.
Oh!
Look.
Mosquitoes.
That was
a narrow escape.
Assaulting an officer, huh?
You'll get a year for this.
- Thanks...
- A year?!
We've gotta get home for supper.
Don't do that.
Now, look,
we gotta be home for dinner.
You'll get home
for dinner, all right!
All right, you guys,
keep workin'.
He's gone.
Oh, a strike.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk,
nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Cheese it.
Cheese it.
Dig it.
Hey, you, 6 and 7/8, bring
that horse and wagon in here.
You guys get ready
to load this rock in the wagon.
Okay.
Hey.
We gotta keep
our eye open for 41144.
- Maybe it's the warden.
- Yeah, we...
I'll warden you.
Get busy.
Mmph!
Hey, Great Dane,
what's the matter with you?
A hornet's trying
to horn in on me.
Wait a minute.
Hold still. I see him.
Oh!
- Thanks, Moe.
- You're welcome.
- Wh...
- I...
You with that iron head of yours.
Now I'm liable to have to pay
for another hammer.
Gee up!
Whoa. Whoa.
Come on, come on.
Get 'em in there.
Whoa.
Oh!
- See that?
- Yeah.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- Hey, hey, it's the guard.
All right, you three,
come along with me.
Got some painting to do.
Come on.
Oh!
What's the matter,
Moe?
You can go back
to your work.
You men, take these buckets
and paint Cell Block Number 6.
Okay.
Hello?
- Yes, warden.
- Can I borrow your keys?
Yes, of course.
Go right ahead.
Thanks!
You're welcome.
No trouble at all.
- Don't even mention it.
- He's a swell guy.
We gotta find 41144.
Yeah. I wonder
where he hangs out.
They generally
hang out on the gallows.
Shut up.
Ooh! Mmph!
Oh!
Oof!
What's the idea... mmph!
Why, you...
I'll jam this
right down your...
Ooaargh!
It's him! Pomeroy!
How did you know my name?
We know your girl.
Hey, we came to get you out.
- We got a job for ya.
- Yeah?
That's great.
When do we break out?
Here's the idea.
And another thing...
Wait a minute.
Let's all go together. Go.
Ow!
Get those brushes and paint.
Come on. Start working.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Boy, they sure look like
guard uniforms now.
You said it. They'll never
know the difference.
Come on.
We'll paint our way out.
Oof!
Hey!
Oh, pardon me.
There's a white spot.
Hey, it's BO Davis.
He's come to visit us.
Hello, Mr Davis.
We found
your honest man.
Davis? Hm!
This is Lone Wolf Louie,
the biggest bond swindler
in America.
Suckers.
Ooh!
Suckers, eh?
Meet ya at the rock pile.
And another one.
And another one.
Hey, wait a minute.
That's a real one.
I'm no fool.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
SUBTITLES BY POWERHOUSE FILMS LTD
Playin' a game?
Spear that paper.
Clean that rubbish.
Tote that barge.
Lift that bale.
A-a-and swing it!
Oh! Mmph!
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Ow!
That's a coincidence.
How'd you get under the paper?
Whoo!
Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Oh!
- Mmph!
- What's the matter with you?
- A bumblebee bit me.
- Bumblebee nothin'.
Take this broom
and sweep up.
Yes, sir. We have met the enemy,
and they belong to us.
- Right.
- Right.
Oh!
Mmm. I get to...
Oh!
Flypaper!
Oh!
Oh.
Nyuh.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Wait a minute, Moe,
I'll get it off.
Oh!
Ow! Oh.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Oh, look!
A bird's nest.
Bird's nest?
That's my hair.
Just because you're stuck-up,
you don't have to hit me.
No, I don't.
Oh, look.
I struck oil. Eee!
Struck oil?
You're "scrap" happy.
These oil bonds belong
to a Mr BO Davis.
Here's his name and address,
and we're gonna return 'em.
- Oh, no, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
No, gimme 'em!
Look!
Come on.
Get up outta there, you.
What are you doin'?
So it shouldn't be a total loss,
I'm takin' a bath.
- A bath?
- Certainly.
- A bath?
- Sure.
How do you spell it?
He never heard of it.
Gimme that towel.
- No!
- You heard me. Let me have it.
Ooh!
Come here, you!
Come here! Come here!
Gentlemen, as a reward
for your honesty,
I'm going to give you
a position.
Oh, boy.
A position, huh?
Hey, wait a minute.
Do we have to work?
Not exactly.
All I want you to do
is find me an honest man
with executive ability.
If you find me an honest man
and he qualifies,
I'll give you a bonus
of five thousand dollars.
Could we have some money
on account?
Yeah, on account of
we're broke.
Why, certainly.
Thanks.
We're on our way
for an honest man.
We'll bring him back
as fast as we can.
Excelsior!
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk,
nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Hmm. Have this refilled.
I still don't see how this'll
help us find an honest man.
It's simple, sap.
An honest man'll return the wallet.
A dishonest man'll keep it.
Well, I hope so.
We've tried everything else.
The bait.
I hope
this wire holds.
It will.
Hey!
- He got our bait!
- The faker!
That faker ain't no faker.
He's a crook.
The next crook that tries to
steal this'll wish he hadn't.
Yeah, he'll get
a hot foot in the pocket.
And how!
He'll get...
Mmph!
No smokin'.
I said, no smokin'!
Ungh! Oh! Mmph!
Remind me
to have you stuffed.
Okay.
Now, wait till I get
that battery.
This'll do the stunt.
I'll press that wire
up against there
and blow him
to kingdom come.
Look out, now.
I'll fix that crook.
I guess we got him.
This is disgusting.
You're right. We haven't even
come near an honest man.
This wallet gag
won't work.
Nice pooch.
The only honest man we've found
all day, and it's a dog.
Yeah, but he wouldn't make
a good business executive.
Or would he?
He's callin' us.
He wants us to follow him.
Maybe he'll lead us to
an honest man. Come on!
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
- Hello.
- Is that your dog, lady?
- Yes.
Well, you should be
proud of him, madam.
He's the only honest man
left in the whole world.
Oh, no, he isn't.
My sweetheart is honest.
Very honest.
Yeah?
Where is he?
In jail.
If he's so honest,
what's he doin' in jail?
He was wrongfully accused
of stealing,
but he didn't do it.
He's honest.
Honest, he's honest.
She might be right.
Maybe all the honest men
are in jail.
Oh, if you could only
help him to escape,
I'm sure I could prove
he's innocent.
We'll do it.
What's his name?
Pomeroy. Percy Pomeroy,
convict number 41144.
Oh, you must help me.
You must!
Don't worry, madam.
We'll get him out of jail, if we
have to go into jail to do it.
Oh, how can I ever thank you?
Don't try.
Honesty has its own reward.
We'll get our just deserts.
Here's where we go to jail.
Then we'll find our honest man.
Oh, boy!
Aah!
- Oh, smart guy, huh?
- Hey, wait!
- Wait just a minute, officer!
- You're coming along with me, now.
Wait! Wait!
How do ya like that?
Well, at least
I'll go to jail.
Come on.
Stick 'em up.
Get a cop.
Come on.
Oh!
Pardon me.
We're lookin' for a cop.
- Yeah.
- Hey, you're a cop.
It's a holdup!
Ah, so it's Gyp.
Nice work, boys.
You've helped me capture
public enemy number one,
Gyp the People.
Come on, you.
It's all your fault, mallet-head.
You gummed up the works.
Yeah, you were supposed
to hold him up.
I did, but he stuck this gun
in my ribs like that.
Then he said to me, "Stick 'em up
or I'll let ya have it."
Then he started to pull
the trigger, and I didn't know...
Whoa!
Oh. A lighter.
Maybe this is a lighter too.
I didn't know...
Oh!
Oh! Ooh!
Why, you imbecile.
Ooh! Oh! Ooh!
Oh!
Look!
A police station.
That's the place
to get pinched. Come on.
Sergeant, we wanna
make a confession.
Yeah? What did ya do?
Kill Cock Robin,
or start the
San Francisco earthquake?
Small stuff, Sergeant,
old Sargie.
We just held up
the First National Bank
and shot two guards.
Oh, yeah? I'll bet you did.
Hello. Yeah?
What?
First National Bank's
being held up?
Two guards just shot?
Come on, fellas.
Let's get goin'.
Station house is the place
to get pinched, huh?
Come on, shut up.
Oh!
Look.
Mosquitoes.
That was
a narrow escape.
Assaulting an officer, huh?
You'll get a year for this.
- Thanks...
- A year?!
We've gotta get home for supper.
Don't do that.
Now, look,
we gotta be home for dinner.
You'll get home
for dinner, all right!
All right, you guys,
keep workin'.
He's gone.
Oh, a strike.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk,
nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Cheese it.
Cheese it.
Dig it.
Hey, you, 6 and 7/8, bring
that horse and wagon in here.
You guys get ready
to load this rock in the wagon.
Okay.
Hey.
We gotta keep
our eye open for 41144.
- Maybe it's the warden.
- Yeah, we...
I'll warden you.
Get busy.
Mmph!
Hey, Great Dane,
what's the matter with you?
A hornet's trying
to horn in on me.
Wait a minute.
Hold still. I see him.
Oh!
- Thanks, Moe.
- You're welcome.
- Wh...
- I...
You with that iron head of yours.
Now I'm liable to have to pay
for another hammer.
Gee up!
Whoa. Whoa.
Come on, come on.
Get 'em in there.
Whoa.
Oh!
- See that?
- Yeah.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- Hey, hey, it's the guard.
All right, you three,
come along with me.
Got some painting to do.
Come on.
Oh!
What's the matter,
Moe?
You can go back
to your work.
You men, take these buckets
and paint Cell Block Number 6.
Okay.
Hello?
- Yes, warden.
- Can I borrow your keys?
Yes, of course.
Go right ahead.
Thanks!
You're welcome.
No trouble at all.
- Don't even mention it.
- He's a swell guy.
We gotta find 41144.
Yeah. I wonder
where he hangs out.
They generally
hang out on the gallows.
Shut up.
Ooh! Mmph!
Oh!
Oof!
What's the idea... mmph!
Why, you...
I'll jam this
right down your...
Ooaargh!
It's him! Pomeroy!
How did you know my name?
We know your girl.
Hey, we came to get you out.
- We got a job for ya.
- Yeah?
That's great.
When do we break out?
Here's the idea.
And another thing...
Wait a minute.
Let's all go together. Go.
Ow!
Get those brushes and paint.
Come on. Start working.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Boy, they sure look like
guard uniforms now.
You said it. They'll never
know the difference.
Come on.
We'll paint our way out.
Oof!
Hey!
Oh, pardon me.
There's a white spot.
Hey, it's BO Davis.
He's come to visit us.
Hello, Mr Davis.
We found
your honest man.
Davis? Hm!
This is Lone Wolf Louie,
the biggest bond swindler
in America.
Suckers.
Ooh!
Suckers, eh?
Meet ya at the rock pile.
And another one.
And another one.
Hey, wait a minute.
That's a real one.
I'm no fool.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
SUBTITLES BY POWERHOUSE FILMS LTD