Skipping Stones (2020) - full transcript

Nearly a decade after a tragic accident costs a young man his life, his sister and best friend are still peeling back the layers of grief and guilt that come with being left behind. David (Ansbach) has returned to his small town to try and sort through the decisions he needs to make in order to move on to the next stage of his life. Meanwhile, Amanda (Kalomiris) who stayed in their small town, has also been unable to move forward for entirely different reasons. Feeling trapped under the weight of her parents' grief, she also can't escape the stigma that ties her to the tragedy that turned their small town upside down. Skipping Stones deftly and beautifully explores the myriad layers of grief that come while healing from a life-altering catastrophe.

Nah, don't worry,
I got it, I got it.

Huh.

David.

Hey.

Come on, come on in.

- Come on.
- Okay.

Your mom's in the kitchen.

Oh, David.

Oh, David!

Oh, it's so good to see you.

Hi, mom.



Oh, you look really
good, you look really good.

I love this.

But wait a second, didn't
your semester start?

No, I have a couple days.

Oh, great.

You must be starving,
come on, here, sit down.

Let me make you
something to eat.

Here, sit down.

I'm making eggs

Mom, it's two
in the afternoon.

I know, but your
father wanted eggs.

And you know I always make extra

in case James stops
over to see me,

but I don't see those two
anymore after those babies.



Oh, you want a sandwich,
let me make you a sandwich.

- I got ham, I've got Swiss,
- No, no, mom, eggs are good.

- Mom, mom,
- turkey, you know,

- dad doesn't mind going-
- mom, eggs are fine.

Okay.

It's gonna be good
to have you home.

Even if it's just
for a few days.

Come on in.

Here, come on, sit down.

Let me make a place for you.

It's been a long time
since the three of us

sat here together
and just talked.

Remember when you used
to come home from school

and you and James would sit here

and tell us all
about your classes?

What was that teacher's name?

Remember, he's a little odd.

He always wore
those brown vests.

What was his name?

Mr. Peters.

It's Parnell, it
was Mr. Parnell.

Oh, that's it.

That's it, I knew you
would remember him.

Vest.

And all the basketball
and soccer games.

Oh, driving.

Yeah, that was a
really long time ago.

Well, I guess it was.

How's Erica, she didn't
wanna come up with you?

I guess she's getting
ready to go back to school.

We actually split up.

- What?
- What?

Yeah.

I thought you two
were getting along?

We did. We do.

I just think we need
a little time alone.

Oh, that's good, that's
okay, sometimes it's good

for you to get a
little time away

- from everybody.
- She's also seeing

somebody else, so it makes it...

When did that happen?

Dad,
it's not a problem.

Wait a second, wait a
second, I remember asking you,

- I actually-
- He said it's nothing, Paul.

Let's just leave it alone.

I was down at the
pub the other day

and I saw Doug Thompson
and a couple of the guys,

they were asking
about you, you know?

You should make an effort
to go in and see them.

They're a good bunch of guys.

If I get a chance
I'll go over to see 'em.

How are you feeling
about your last semester?

We're really excited about
your graduation in May.

That's actually something

I wanted to talk
to you guys about.

I'm not gonna be
graduating in May.

- I'm gonna take
- What?

a little bit more time off.

What, more time off?

Yeah.

When did you decide this?

A few months ago.

It's really not a big deal.

It's not a big deal.

Dad.

More time off.

Well, look it, you know
what happened the last time.

- Paul, don't.
- No, it's fine, dad.

I know what you're thinking.

I just need a little bit of time

to figure out what I'm gonna do.

It's not a big deal and you're
making a big deal out of it.

So please, stop.

We just want you to be
happy, honey, you're our son.

We just want you happy.

Mom, I know that.

I just don't think I'm
looking for happiness

the way you're talking about.

Well, what the hell
are you looking for?

I'm trying to figure out what,

I'm trying to figure out why.

I'm gonna go for a walk

and I'm gonna be
back in a bit, okay?

David?

Doug, man, how you doing?

Stand up.

Been a long time.

What are you doing back here?

Just in town
for a couple days.

My dad says he sees you around,
so I thought I'd come down

and try my luck.

I guess today's
your lucky day then.

I guess it is.

You still smoking?

You know what?

No, no, I shouldn't 'cause
I'm trying to be better man.

You remember Roxanne, hey,
we're finally getting married.

That's amazing.

Hi. How you doing?

I'm about to pop.

But I'm good, I'm good.

How are you doing?

I'm good, I'm good, yeah.

Just, you know, being back,
seeing everything again.

I bet you guys
have a lot to talk about.

Yeah, we
might grab a drink.

Yeah, I kinda
had that feeling.

Not too late.

I wasn't.

How long are you
planning on staying?

Maybe a week or two.

I woulda called you, but I just,

I really didn't know when
I was gonna be coming down.

Yeah, right, don't
bullshit me, Travers,

you wouldn't o' called

if you'd been planning
the trip three years ago.

You want a drink?

We've got soda, or
you can have a water.

Actually, I'll
take a Jack and Coke.

That'd be nice.

Are you sure?

I just figured.

Doug, you can talk about it,

- it's okay.
- No, no, no, no, no.

I mean, with everything
that happened last year,

I didn't know.

Doug, I tried to off myself
with a razor, it wasn't booze.

I'll be fine.

Just forget about it, okay?

That's what I'm
trying to do, man.

Everywhere I go, though,
people keep staring at me.

Do you think this is easy

for anybody to walk on
eggshells around you?

It sucks.

It sucks for me,

but you sure as hell haven't
made things easy on anybody

- in this whole town.
- I didn't know

I was supposed to make
it easy for you, man.

Didn't know that was my job.

'Cause life doesn't usually
come with a manual, you know?

Whatever. You have a good one.

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm a dick.

I didn't mean to
fuck anything up.

I just, I...

It's okay. It's all right.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay, good.

I gotta go, I'll see you around?

Yeah.

Yes, I am.

Of course we take
the matter seriously.

No.

Right.

No, we have some of our
best guys working on it.

Our best guys.

Yes, look, I just want you
to get it through your head,

very possible your vehicle

is not within the
city limits anymore.

Right, that's exactly
why we've, yes,

we've contacted
the state police.

Of course they have a
description of your vehicle.

Just trust us, okay.

Look, I need to run.

Yes, I will let you
know if we know any,

as soon as we get more
information, correct, right.

Okay, all right, I have.

Yes, thank you.

Shit!

It's like somebody has
kidnapped his daughter

on the way to the junior prom.

This is a fucking car.

If he calls back, just
tell him I'm out on a call,

or on a case somewhere, or
that I'm just, dead, okay?

Cool, I move up a rung.

Yes. That's true.

Coffee, Sheriff?

Yeah, thanks.

Just throw the
coffee on the desk.

I'll put the milk in, thank you.

You should really
get your own coffee,

you lazy piece o' shit.

Oh, wow.

Look who it is,
Little Davy, what?

Hi.

Wow.

Yeah, I never feel very
comfortable in here

looking at you with
a badge and a gun.

It's like I'm living
some twisted nightmare

where my childhood tormentor
grows up and becomes a man.

Come here. Give me a hug.

When'd you get into town?

Mom didn't tell me
you were coming.

Huh?

Yesterday.

Yesterday?

Yeah.

And I don't deserve
a visit first thing?

Well, I had to
see mom and dad,

you know how that goes.

Okay, yeah, I do
know how that is.

Well, hey, why don't you
just come to dinner tonight?

We'll catch up.

Jane'll get some
real food in you.

Unless you want
eggs again at mom's.

Yeah, I've had enough
eggs, to be honest.

Perfect.

Thank you. Leave the hat.

It's really good to see you.

See ya.

See ya.

Like six o'clock,
somewhere around there.

Okay.

Mr. McDowell.

David.

I just got in yesterday and
I wanted to come by say hello.

You're looking very good, son.

Very good.

You know, I was
just telling my wife

I thought I saw you
over there yesterday.

We were hoping you'd come
over and, here you are.

Unfortunately, she's out
shopping right now, so,

she would like to see you too.

And not to mention Amanda.

Yeah, it was nice to
see you, Mr. McDowell.

David, I'm serious, we'd
still enjoy having you over.

Please, remember that.

I really appreciate
that, Mr. McDowell.

Is this is the same car?

'69 'Vette. Yes, it is.

Wow.

Bobby and I used to really
love sitting in this thing.

Well, thank you, Mr. McDowell,
I'll see you soon, all right?

David, wait.

Mm, Jane, let me do
the dishes, really.

Nonsense, you are a
guest in this house.

And besides, I did
all the cooking,

I am sure that your brother

will be more than happy

- to do all the cleaning.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Just leave everything
on the counter

and I'll take care of it

Which means it's still
gonna be sitting here

when I get back downstairs.

Probably true, yes.

Okay, I'm gonna go
check on my babies

and you two can handle things.

Wonderful.

You know what?

Why don't you keep drinking

and maybe I'll
get lucky tonight.

Not in
front of the brother.

Oh, please, he's a grown man.

Thank you.

Amanda still hung up on you?

- Yes.
- What? No.

Come on, she's had a crush
on you since she was little.

Oh, can you make me a cuppa tea?

Yes, absolutely.

Love you.

I know.

Crazy talk, crazy lady.

I'm not wrong.

Seriously, you should
talk to her though.

I mean, she trusts you,
she might actually open up.

Why would she talk to me?

You know why.

Alright, so, since there
are no free meals here

and I know that you
don't have any money,

why don't you help
me clear the table?

I have to clear the table?

Yes.

The food wasn't that good.

You're lucky she
didn't hear you,

that woulda been your
life on the line.

Get to it.

Plates, counter.

Okay, here you go.

So, I guess mom and dad
were happy to see you.

Yeah, you could say that.

Yeah,
well, that's good.

They could use a
little bit of happiness

in their life right now.

That's not the only
reason I came back.

All right, I'll bite, no, why?

I don't know.

Hey, I saw Mr. McDowell today.

Oh.

Did he come by and see you?

I went and saw him,
he was just outside

working on the 'Vette.

Yeah.

Yeah, he does that
just about every day.

Does it every day?

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

It was weird seeing him again.

Just, "Hello."

Do you remember that time

when Bobby and I were sitting
in the front seat of the car

and Bobby knocked the
gear shifter outta gear?

Oh, dad was so pissed.

Bobby knocks the gear
shifter outta gear,

the car starts rolling
down the hill and dad.

"God!"

Yeah, I know.

And dad and Mr. McDowell

come charging them
opposite directions,

and they both jumped in the car

and they're slamming
the gear shifter

- back into gear.
- Enough!

I don't want to remember that.

All right?

That's over, I've moved
past that, it's done.

Yeah, well, I don't
think that it is.

It's not worth it.

Move on.

All right?

All right?

All right.

Well, the table's clear.

I gotta run.

What?

Told mom I wouldn't
be home late, anyways.

Just give me a
second, I'll drive you.

No, it's cool, just
thank Jane for me.

All right, be safe.

Bye.

Fuck.

Roxanne,

- Roxanne,
- What's up?

Can I have one
more of these, and

two more of these?

David, you've had a whole lot.

Okay, let's do it like this,

just these two.

That's all my chips right there.

David, listen, you're
in really bad shape

and I just think I should
cut you off, I'm sorry.

"In bad shape."

Yeah, I know.

Well, you look wonderful.

Thank you.

You should start
drinking, I may look better.

I can't drink.

- Yeah.
- Can the baby drink?

Can I have one more of this
and one more of this, please?

Sorry.

I was gonna

- say one of these.
- I know, I know,

I know, listen,
you've had a whole lot

and I want you to get home safe.

So, I think I have
to cut you off.

Okay.

Okay?

- All right.
- Okay.

One more beer, please.

- This is good.
- Is this good?

Looking like a
good night tonight.

You guys wanna stay at
the bar or get a table?

I think we're
good here, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

You wanna grab a
drink from her? And...

All right, get me a
shot, I'll be right back.

Mm-hmm.

Drinking alone.

That's a little sad.

Hi.

Hey, Amanda.

Don't you have
any friends around

that'll come get
trashed with you?

Come on, there's
gotta be somebody.

No.

I guess friends are overrated.

Really?

Yeah.

I don't know, I always think
it's better with friends.

Besides, when you drink
alone people start to talk.

Though, I'm sure you already
know what that feels like.

Isn't
that Bobby's ring?

You still wear it?

I still wear it sometimes.

Yeah, probably
all the time, hmm?

Wow.

That's really good,
Amanda, that's really good.

Should you be in here?

What, you're like
15, 16 aren't ya?

Try 18.

Well, in two weeks.

You know the rest of
the world didn't stop

just because you had
a nervous breakdown.

I might need a fake
ID to buy beer,

but all of the other
things, I can do just fine.

So?

Okay, great, thank you so
much for that very visual

and constructive advice.

I'm just saying.

Call me tomorrow
before you guys leave,

maybe I'll come with you.

Sure thing, see ya.

All right, bye.

Hey, I know you're 18 and
all in a couple o' weeks,

but is it safe to be
walking home alone?

I don't know, that depends.

Aren't you a little old
to be stumbling home

from the bar at
three in the morning?

Well, I would've driven,
but in my intoxicated state

I may have run head
first into a tree.

Isn't that the idea?

What?

Dying, wasn't that like
your thing for awhile?

That's very sensitive of you.

I just figured

that since you tried it
once, you might, you know,

be up for it again.

Is that something
that sticks with you

or can you just
turn it on and off?

No, you can't just turn
it on and off Amanda.

So,

did ya?

What?

Wanna kill yourself?

Yes.

It's not really
about dying though.

It's more about,

I don't know, nothing.

I'm just wondering because
I thought about it sometimes.

That's not funny.

Don't worry, Travers,

I don't think I really wanna
die anymore than you do.

Maybe I'll just lay in bed,

down a few pills.

Oh.

Yeah?

Not enough to really do me in.

Just enough to knock me out.

Yeah, I bet my mom
would love that too.

Two men in uniforms pumping
my stomach out onto the floor.

So what you're saying
is you wanna hurt her?

I don't know.

Did you want to hurt someone?

No, I think it
was more something

that I thought I deserved.

You know it all kinda
seems like a cop out now?

I'll see you around, Travers.

Hey Amanda.

♪ They call the wind Amanda ♪

Dad!

Don't you think
it's about time to get up?

Come on into the kitchen, we've
got some breakfast for you.

Okay,
I'll be right there.

Good morning.

Good morning, mother.

Your father made
you eggs and bacon.

Well, dad lives on hope,
but I'm really not hungry.

Well, eat some anyway, we
went through all the trouble.

It's a sin to waste.

It sounded like
you had a late night

were you at the studio?

No, dad, not in a long while.

Just asking.

What time did you get in, honey,

I think it was like 3:30?

Okay.

And it's the third late
night this week, honey.

Who were you with,
Becky and Kelly?

Mm-hmm.

Were you at the bowling alley?

Considering that's
the only place in town

I can get to without a car,

yeah, that's a
pretty good guess.

Well, aside from the studio-

- Dad, I-

- Amanda, don't talk
back to your father.

Pat, it's okay.

No, it's not, I don't want
her talking to us that way.

Well, then I just won't
speak to you at all.

Amanda, you know
there's a good reason

why you're not allowed
to use the car.

Yeah, because you guys
want to ruin my life.

Oh, would you please grow up?

Pat.

You know, I don't know who
the hell you think you are

having the nerve to bring
that filth into our car,

and then expecting us to
let you get away with it?

Honestly, you're lucky your
father didn't listen to me

or it wouldn't be just
the car you're missing.

I already told you
guys it wasn't mine.

I don't know why you
won't believe me.

'Cause you're a liar.

Honestly, you think I don't know

you're at the bar getting drunk

and doing whatever the
hell else it is you do.

Pat, this is not the way.

Yeah, and if you're not liar,
then you're still an idiot

for letting those kinda
of people into our car.

Believe me, it
won't happen again.

I'm not a child, I can choose
my own friends, thank you.

Yeah, then maybe you can
just start paying rent?

Or better yet, you can
find a place of your own.

Fine. I will.

Amanda, stop it.

The deal was college or a job.

Stop it, stop it.

Amanda, please, come back here,

your mother didn't mean that.

Do me a favor, George,

don't ever fucking tell me
what I mean and what I don't.

I'm just trying to
keep the peace here.

And this fighting
isn't solving anything,

and I wish you would
understand that.

I don't care.

I am sick of the way that
ingrate is playing this family.

Pat, please.

All right.

So, is it weird to be back?

I mean, this place
hasn't changed.

Yeah, it hasn't,
Mike, at all, Jesus.

Watch this.

Dude.

Violet.

Yeah.

Look who I just dug up.

David Travers.

Wow, you do look like you
were just dug up, yeah.

Thank you.

Uh-huh, you're welcome.

You look wonderful.

As usual.

Thank you.

How you doing?

I'm good, I'm good, yeah.

Exhausted from working
double shifts, but,

it's worth it, I hope.

- Why are you doing doubles?
- Oh, yeah, tell us why.

I went back to school
for my second master's,

MBA this time.

Wow.

Wow.

- Wow, back to school.
- That's great.

- That's really great.
- Thank you. Yes.

Everybody's doing it, see?

You are such an asshole.

He's an asshole.

He is.

Yeah. Thank you.

Sometimes.

Vi, can I just
get the BLT please?

Yes, sure, do you want fries?

Yeah.

Got it, and for you, Sheriff?

I'm just gonna have
that ham special.

- Do you still have that?
- Sure, mm-hmm,

and, you want fries?

Why not.

You got it.

- Thank you, Violet.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

So, what's been going on,

what have you been doing,
seeing old friends?

I saw Doug.

Doug?

Thomas.

Oh, right.

- Saw him,
- Wow.

some of the guys
down at Brandywine.

Of course, Brandywine.

Yeah, saw Amanda.

Bing, I knew that was coming.

We just bumped
into each other.

Oh, you just bumped
into her, really?

And,

Mr. McDowell,

have you seen him again?

No.

I really do wanna go over
there and just see him,

and check on him, make sure
everything's all right.

What's gotten into you?

Did we not just have
this conversation?

James, I just, I-

- No, we both agreed
that that was a bad idea.

I can't forget about it
like it never happened.

Nobody's asking you
to forget about it.

You just need to
learn to live with it.

Okay, well maybe
you could just give me

a little bit o' time.

Time?

How much time do you need?

What? It's been eight years.

I think that's been enough time.

James, my best friend
died because of me.

So please tell me, what's the
guilt, grief, anger half-life

that satisfies you?

Okay.

Grief,

anger,

guilt, man,

you need to learn how to
process that on your own.

It's not about
processing my guilt.

Okay, great, then you
tell me, what's it about?

It's about, why
am I here, James?

What am I worth?

Every single person is trying
to leave something behind.

Like what?

A mark!

A fucking moment
that I can look to

and say that I mattered,

and not just to me, but
maybe to somebody else.

It doesn't have to be about me.

Okay, you know what?

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
I don't understand, no.

Does that not
make sense to you?

No, it doesn't.

You don't understand

- what I'm talking about?
- No, please, enlighten me.

Make me understand.

Here, boys.

Everything good?

Yes.

Yeah, you sure?

Anything I can do.

I just don't want
to leave a mess again.

You don't wanna leave a mess?

I don't know if
you remember this,

but I went through a
lotta shit to protect you

and make sure that
you were safe.

I never asked
you to do anything.

You didn't have to,
you're my brother.

I mean, you had plans.

College.

College! Oh my God,
wow, James, really?

What good has that done for me?

I'm on the 50 year track, I
can't even finish a semester.

Okay, whatever, I
don't care what you do.

I'm not going back, James.

Fine, that's fine,
don't go to school.

The point is, whatever
you do in your life,

I didn't want it to
be screwed up by,

just because of an accident.

What? That's it?

Yeah, take off, see ya.

Hello. Oh, hi, Jimmy.

You see, it's been so
bloody long nothing fits it.

No, I haven't seen him,
I thought he was with you.

All right, look, see
if you can find him.

Make sure he's okay.

All right.

What's up?

David walked out
on Jimmy at lunch.

He hasn't seen him since.

He's probably hanging out
with other guys, I'm sure-

- No, no, I don't like it.

He said there was definitely
something wrong with him.

Look, I don't think we
should go out tonight.

Oh, Maggie, come on.

I made reservations.

What if he should come
home and we're not here?

Well, I'm guessing you
would probably take his key

and he'll open up
the front door.

Don't make fun of
me, Paul, not tonight.

I'm not, I'm not.

Look, honey, you can't
get all worked up

every time he staggers in
here drunk or he sleeps in.

I don't care about every time.

I care about that one time.

Oh God, darling,
don't you do that.

Don't you goddamn go there.

Yeah, well, I'm his mother!

I raised him and it's
my job to protect him.

Yeah, well, I was there.

I was standing right beside you!

And there's nothing
nobody, not you, not me,

nobody coulda seen that coming.

It wasn't supposed to happen.

He didn't deserve it.

Those young eyes were
never meant to see

something like that.

He's a man now.

He's got to go his own way.

Our job is just to love him.

So that's it?

I'm supposed to just let him go?

Well, that's not good enough.

That is not nearly good enough.

Oh, honey.

I don't know, I don't know
if you've noticed lately,

but you and I, we
ain't doing so good.

We're not doing so good.

I mean, look, I gotta take some
of the blame for this, but,

do you think we could put
a little of this energy

back into you and me,
back into us, hmm?

No.

I'm just not ready
to go out there.

What's "Vicin?"

Viking.

Vicin, it's an obstacle course.

They put it up two summers ago.

Can you imagine Bobby

trying to run through
one of those things?

Well, shit, his little
sister's won it twice so far.

What? Amanda won what?

They have a race, it kicks
off the place for the summer.

Little Amanda's
won it every time.

No shit.

No shit.

Where'd you get this?

Old Pat, down at the station.

What?

Yeah.

That guy's still selling shit?

Oh yeah.

I haven't seen him

since we were in grammar school.

Yeah, no, that was back
when you, me, and Bobby

used to split a bag
just to get through

Monday morning homeroom.

You remember that?

You remember the time when
Mr. Lee caught us smoking

behind the gym in the alleyway?

Yes.

He came running
down because he smelled it

from the second story balcony.

Yeah, no, no, but Bobby
saw him coming just in time,

so you and I like ditched
under the lunch truck.

All Bobby just major league
pitched the weed into the sewer.

That
guy was so pissed.

He couldn't do shit
without the evidence.

He got right
up in Bobby's face too.

He did.

"One more time, Mr. McDowell,
one more time, I dare ya."

Hello?

Yeah, it's me.

No, I thought I was meeting
you guys over there?

Yeah, okay, whatever.

Yeah, okay, just come
pick me up all right?

Yeah, I'll be waiting
outside, okay.

No, no, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

We used to come here every
single day during the summer

and we'd skip stones
across the lake.

We always said that one day
one of us was gonna get a stone

all the way to the other side.

What?

What are you talking about?

This is good, I have no idea
what you're talking about.

I'm stupid, apparently.

Madonna, 1985.

That brown paper bag.

I fucking knew it, I
knew it, you do remember.

You totally remember.

I do.

"What do you think
they feel like?"

I didn't say that.

Did I say that?

You totally said that.

I think that I did.

Yeah.

You're right.

I mean, those were
some cool times.

Happy times.

Better times.

Yeah.
Just simpler times.

You know, before everything
got so complicated.

Before what got
complicated, David?

You never had to
do any of it alone.

What were my choices, Doug?

Talking.

What's talking going to do,
it's not gonna bring him back.

No, but it mighta saved you

from drowning in your own guilt.

Fuck off.

What the hell
were you thinking

when you tried to off
yourself like that?

And we have always been here
for you, me, your brother,

everybody else, but you
never returned a phone call.

Never reached out.

Why?

You don't know how it felt.

Nobody knows how it felt.

So stop trying to play
the role of some savior.

Get off your horse, Jesus.

You know what, Travers,

who the hell do
you think you are?

You think, what?

You're the only one
who's allowed to feel bad

about Bobby's death?

Think you're the only one
who's allowed to feel guilt?

The three of us were
best friends, right?

We were a team.

So where the hell was I?

If I hadn't left early,
before it happened,

if I had just stayed

maybe things coulda
turned out different.

You know, maybe I coulda done
something, but I wasn't there.

So I just get to
wonder every single day

how things coulda
been different.

And I get to just try and accept

that it was a freak accident

outta my control that
took Bobby away from me,

and then took you away.

So you wanna know what
kinda guilt I have, David?

It's the kinda guilt
that nobody in the world

can take away from me,

not even you.

I can't tell you what
you wanna hear, man.

I can imagine,

I can imagine that
it's unthinkable trying

- to remember-
- No, no,

that's not what it is,
that's not what it is.

I can't tell you because
I don't remember.

I remember it was 20
minutes after you left,

Bobby ran across the field
and he put a soda can

into the fold of that old tree,

the one right across
from the cabin.

I missed with my
first two shots.

I remember instinctively,
I chambered a third shot,

and then,

I don't know what I did.

I told Bobby to go for
it, take his shots.

I remember I went over
to the cooler, and then

I heard something scraping
against the rotted wood.

I didn't see what happened next.

And then I looked out and I
saw the bottoms of his sneakers

and I looked past them and his
body was slumped over, then,

there was blood pouring
onto the front of his jacket

and I could tell
he wasn't moving,

and he wasn't breathing,
but I knew James is working

so I ran to Route 10
to the phone booth

and I called him and I told
him to send an ambulance out,

but, by the time they
got there he was dead.

Davy, look at me.

There was nothing
you coulda done.

It wasn't your fault.

You know what the sickest
thing about all of it is?

I can't remember his face.

I go over it again
and again in my head,

and I can't remember what
his face looked like.

That's everything I know, man.

That's everything I remember.

But I don't think it's true.

I don't think it's right.

David,

David.

David!

What are you doing?

Nothing. I was just...

Didn't you
hear us calling?

No.

You know I don't
like you coming in here

and going through
Bobby's things.

Don't let it happen again.

Paul.

What's the matter?

What's up?

When was the last time
I told you I love you?

Oh, what kinda
question is that?

You say it all the time.

No, no, I mean, when I
really said, I love you.

Huh?

It's an important thing,
and I can't remember.

It was on my 42nd birthday.

We were going out for dinner.

The boys was staying at
the McDowell's house.

We had the whole
night to ourself.

You made reservations
at the Friar Club.

I was wearing that purple
dress with the blue flowers.

You were wearing
your blue blazer.

You used to say my eyes
sparkled in that dress.

We were just getting
ready to leave

and you walked over to me.

You put your hand on my cheek.

You used to do
that all the time.

And I remember thinking

that was the sweetest
touch I ever felt.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you too.

You mind?

I got it.

Carrying that's not gonna
distract you from your gazing?

Not gazing, observing,

admiring.

Both kinda mean gazing.

So you could say peering,
peeping, gawking works too.

Wow, okay.

Ogling is a good one.

I think I'm gonna
go with admiring.

Praise, very, very talented.

Amanda, that was amazing.

It was nothing.

Nothing at all.

You're good.

You're like, really good.

I'm not good enough.

Says who?

Says me.

And if I'm not good enough
to get where I wanna go,

then, what's even
the point of trying?

Well, it's the trying
and failing of things

that occasionally
define who we are.

That's a little
bit o' bullshit.

A little bit o' truth.

And a little bit of pompous
rhetoric coming from someone

who can't even finish college.

Is it true that your IQ
is like near genius level?

No.

Where did you hear that?

Around.

My dad, I think.

Come on, how many science fairs
did you win in high school?

Well,

all of them,

I think.

You think.

Plus the instate ones
four years in a row.

Your dad talks about me?

He talks about

you and Bobby,

and the past.

Does he blame me?

David, nobody blames you,

except you.

Amanda, you don't
know what I've-

- I don't know
what? Just tell me.

David,

come here.

Why would a man
at near 1:00 a.m.

get dressed, go to a diner,

sit down, order coffee, and
make small talk with strangers?

Is this some sort of riddle?

I don't know, no coffee at home.

Plenty.

Then he
must love that coffee.

He never touches it.

I don't know.

Loneliness, a diminished life.

My dad is well on his
way to becoming that.

Not Violet.

What?

Look at
her, she's working,

she's going back to school,
she's got more guts than I do.

Don't be fooled,
that's just empty hope.

Why do you dance if you
don't think you're good enough?

Because I'm trying
to move forward.

But I can't, because I know-

- Uh-uh, because you think.

No, I know I'm
not good enough.

I'm stuck here and I'm
going nowhere fast.

Amanda, you're just
afraid to move forward.

You're telling this
to me or yourself?

Look, I gotta go.

I'll see you later,
tomorrow, maybe.

Yeah.

Tomorrow.

Oh!

Caught me by surprise again.

Didn't mean to frighten ya.

No, no, it's okay, I was...

What can I do for you David?

I just wanted to take you
up on that offer to chat.

Oh yeah?

Well yeah, yeah, I
mean, okay, great, now?

If you're not busy, I mean,
I can come back another time.

No, no, no, I'm just cutting
wood for the fireplace.

You know, Mr.
McDowell, it's September?

I mean, I know it's
a brisk 72, but.

David, the last thing I
want to be doing up here

in the middle of
December is cutting wood.

I remember.

So, I take great care to
stock up for the winter.

Which are getting colder
and colder as you know.

Or, I am getting
grumpier and grumpier.

I don't know, but listen,
there's a lot more in the back.

Could you go back there?

There's gloves there.

It's back by the shed.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Thanks.

Oh, here, here, come on
over to the sink, wash up.

Can I get you anything, a drink?

No, I'm okay.

Oh, come on, we'll have
a beer or two, come on.

I'd like to think you came
over for the fine company, but,

something tells
me that's not it.

So what's on your mind, son?

I just wanted to talk.

Talk?

Yeah.

Sure, about what?

It's about Bobby.

And what about Bobby?

He didn't deserve to die.

Oh, David.

You musta had a lotta
hopes and dreams for him,

for what he'd become.

Of course I was proud of him.

He was a good, very
smart young man.

Just like you are.

No, just like you are, David.

I always thought that's why you
two were such close friends.

Well, I'd like to think so.

Mr. McDowell,

after everything that's
happened since then,

I just, I never had a
chance to talk to you,

just to tell you how sorry I am.

David,

we all know it was an accident.

And I never expected any more
of an explanation from you,

and I still don't.

I know, but, I
think that I need to.

Okay.

Tell me.

Wow, I really thought
about doing this for so long

and now that I'm here I
don't know where to start.

Start with your
feelings, they never lie.

I can't get these stupid
memories out of my head.

For some reason I
have these images,

they just stick with me,

I don't really know exactly
where they come from,

but I've wondered,

I just wonder why I can
remember silly things like

fist fights and running home
from school with a bloody nose,

but I can't even remember
the face of my friend

on the day that he
died in front of me.

Wait a minute, wait
what was that you said,

you said you remember?

Oh, my nose bleed?

Yeah.

I have this memory of
running home from school

after I got in a fight
with Anthony Eocono.

I was like in the
second grade I think,

and I must have
done something silly

like run upstairs and
hide in my room, but...

I'm sorry for what
you saw that day.

What?

Mr. McDowell, I'm
talking about...

I saw you,

and I know you saw me.

Mr. McDowell, I'm not...

What?

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, fuck.

How did I forget?

And it feels like
I've always known.

You looked at me.

You looked right at me.

I am so sorry, David.

You never said
anything to me, why?

No, I couldn't.

I wasn't quite sure what
you knew 'til today.

And, I mean, even if I was sure,

what was I gonna say to you?

I mean, you were a little boy.

So, as time went by
I hoped, I prayed

that it woulda been something
you would have forgotten.

Does my mom know?

No, she never
knew you were there.

And I wasn't going to tell
her because if she knew

that you had knew, she thought

Don't.

you may have seen,
now hold on, hold on,

David, listen to me.

I'm not proud of
what happened, okay,

but I swear to you,

- it was the only time
- Mr. McDowell.

that we were ever,

You gotta stop.

and listen, it was
a horrible mistake,

but your mother is a fine woman.

And I like to think
I'm a decent person,

- but I'm telling you.
- I know, Jesus,

Mr. McDowell, can
you please just stop?

It was a moment of
weakness that we have both,

- both regretted
- You need to stop.

every day since.

Mr. McDowell, please
stop apologizing to me.

I mean, Jesus Christ, man.

You know, I came here
to open up to you.

I am so, so sorry, David

My dad.

My dad.

How could you do something
like that to him?

Look,

I'm not proud of what
I've done, God knows.

I really feel like
I need to tell him.

I really think it's his right
to know something like that.

You have to do what
you think you must,

and I respect that.

But before you do anything,
don't do what I did.

Think about the consequences
of your actions.

He deserves to know.

Is it worth ruining something,

anything, over what happened?

Is it not ruined already?

Tell me right now, how can
I ever look at my mother

the same way again?

George, could
you come outside?

Listen to me, David, my
marriage ended a long time ago.

Do you really wanna
ruin something

that your parents
still have together?

George, your car is
still in my spot again,

so would you please get up?

David.

What brings you here?

Hi, Mrs. McDowell, I,

I was just helping Mr. McDowell

put some firewood in the den.

Well, please tell your
parents I said hello.

I feel like it's been so
long since we last saw them.

Yes, ma'am.

Morning, what are you
doing up this early?

Just saying hi to
your dad, actually.

Really, he have any enlightening
conversation for you?

Hmm. Yeah.

Hey, do you wanna get a drink?

I need a drink.

Well, I've been out all
night and I never called,

- so, yeah, sure.
- Okay, come on.

Maybe some coffee though?

Not to belabor
the point, I just,

I really think you
need to pursue dancing.

You need to bolt outta here
as fast as you can, okay?

Life does not give you
second chances, Amanda.

Yeah, okay, I'll
do that right now.

Fine.

So why'd you really
come back here?

I don't know.

It wasn't
for second chances?

No, I think that I really
wanted to see this place

one last time.

Yeah?

And is it everything
that you remembered?

Sadly, yes.

Yes, it is.

Have you been to the cemetery?

No, no but I
really want to go,

- at least before I go back.
- Oh, that's fine.

Just be honest with me.

Was it hard?

That's terrible question,
I know it was hard.

Okay, look, David, we
already played the guilt card.

That's not what I'm saying.

I have gone over
every single moment

that's led up to Bobby's
death so many times,

and not once have I

thought about what that
loss did to everybody else,

did to you.

Well, he was my older brother.

I don't really know what else
there is to say besides that,

- but,
- Just say something.

What do you want
me to say, David?

I don't know.

You want me to cry?

Do you want me to tell
you how much it hurt?

Because, sorry, but it did.

You know, I look at
my mom sometimes,

I mean, she's just got so
much anger in her eyes now.

And when she looks at
me, she's filled with it.

Sometimes when it's not
that bad I think that

maybe it's not me.

Maybe she just plain
forgot how to care.

Like something
broken inside her.

I see her that way
with my dad sometimes.

And I know that it sounds awful,

but that is the only time that
I don't feel so bad about it.

But then there are other
times when she looks at me

and that hatred,
that's all that I feel.

And that's when I know that
it's for me and me alone.

And that's when I think
about getting away.

What about your dad?

We don't talk.

At least not about
anything real.

But I know that he
wants to love me.

I just get the feeling
that he got lost somewhere.

And anytime he tries it's like
my mom sees what he's doing

and she just finds
a whole new reason

to fucking rip into him.

Sometimes I feel like
he's the only thing

that's keeping me
around this shit hole.

Like, when I'm ready to
just tell her to drop dead

and run out that door, I
always think about him.

'Cause I think if I left
him there alone with her,

he would just,

he's already been through too
much with Bobby, I couldn't...

I didn't mean to-

- Amanda, why are we so
careful with the words

that we use to
describe what happened?

Don't have to be sorry.

I need to tell you something.

I was holding the gun.

I was holding the gun
the day that Bobby died.

What do you mean?

It didn't fall.

I was holding it and
it fired accidentally.

That's not even possible,
why would you say that?

Because I
think that it's true.

You think it's the
truth, but you don't know?

Amanda, Amanda,

I was so scared.

I really didn't know what to do.

I called my brother and
I told him what happened,

and when he got there he
said it looked really bad.

I swear to God, Amanda, I didn't
ask him to change anything.

Okay, I promise, but, I was
scared, and I was confused,

and I didn't try
to stop him either.

Amanda, just wait a second,

- Amanda, just wait
- I have to get outta here.

a second, please.

No, David.

Amanda, I mean, I just-

- Don't touch me.

Don't follow me, David.

Absolute comedy.

Oh hey, your mother
was looking for you.

She wanted to know if you're
gonna be around for dinner.

What's up?

Dad, if something happened
to you a long time ago

that you didn't know happened

would you wanna know about it?

Well, that depends,
is it good or bad?

It's bad.

I mean, maybe it's
good, I don't know.

I don't know, to be honest.

If I could do something
about it and change things,

yeah, I'd wanna know about it.

But, if I couldn't change
anything, no, I don't know,

I don't think so.

Look, dad.

What's going on?

I found something
out today that, I just,

I think you need to know about.

About me?

It's about Mr. McDowell.

George, something happen
between you and George, hmm?

It's not about me and George,

it's between Mr. McDowell and...

It's between Mr. McDowell and.

It's between George and-

- Oh, whoa.

You gotta stop, you
gotta stop right there.

Wait a second, do you know?

You have no idea
what you're talking about.

Dad, do you know?

You gotta stop,
you stop right now.

Dad, you can't ignore this.

I'm not ignoring this.

Look,

sometimes people do things
they don't mean to do.

I mean, Lord knows I've stuck
my foot in it many times.

But when push comes to
shove your mother and me,

we're good people,
we're loving people.

I love her, she loves me.

You are
protecting her, why?

I'm not protecting her.

You are!

If I want forgiveness,
I have to be forgiving.

And when it comes down to it
son, it's between her and me,

it's always been
between her and me.

Quite frankly, you've got
nothing to do with it.

I'm a part of the family.

It's never had
anything to do with you.

It has everything
to do with me.

She's my mother!

And she lied to me.

And she loves you, she
loves you with all her heart.

If your mother found
out about this,

that you knew about this,

it would shatter her.

Now you gotta promise me that
you will never let her know

that you know about this.

You hear me?

Son, do you hear me,
you hear what I said?

Oh, there you
are, I was looking for you.

I just went for a little walk

to help Mr. McDowell put
some firewood in this house.

Oh, you saw George?

Yeah.

What'd he have to say?

Nothing much.

Just talking about old times.

You and Bobby?

Yeah, me and Bobby.

Well, dinner's at six,
if you care to join us.

Yeah, I'll see you.

You know what?

Mom, I'm gonna stay for
dinner, I'll be here.

Good.

Hey, hey, can I
give you a hand?

Amanda?

Did you talk to
your brother today?

No.

He called yesterday too.

You didn't think
to call him back?

I guess I forgot.

Fuck.

He sounded like he really
needed to talk to you.

Is everything okay
between you two?

David?

Are you listening to me?

David.

David!

Paul, what's wrong with him?

Amanda? Are you okay?

I'm fine, Dad.
Just leave me alone.

I just want to-

- Please, dad.

Amanda,
I wanna talk to you,

and I don't care what
you say, I'm coming in.

What
do you want, dad?

I wanna talk to you.

Well, I really don't
wanna talk right now.

Do you ever?

Are you okay?

Life's a blast.

Thanks for asking.

Look,

I'm not trying to
give you a hard time.

The way you ran in just now,

thought something
might be troubling you.

Anything you wanna tell me?

Anything at all?

No.

Bobby?

Where were you?

I was with David.

What did he want,
what did he have to say?

Isn't it funny how you
can go your entire life

thinking that things were
supposed to happen a certain way,

and then you find out
something that you never knew

that changes everything?

But all that really
means is that nothing

was the way you saw
it in the first place.

What did David tell you?

Because he did not need to-

- Dad, where was
I when Bobby died?

I guess you were here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, now
that I think of it, yeah.

You were here at the house
with your mother and me, why?

And did the cops
come to the house?

Or did they just
call it to tell you?

Well, you were here.

Don't you remember?

No, dad, I don't remember.

So which was it?

Jimmy Travers
called the house.

He said he heard her
call for an ambulance

come over there, police radio

he recognized the address

so he went up there
and he found Bobby.

David, you have to stop
walking away like that on us.

What? I'm sorry, I have to go.

No, just stop leaving!

Mom...

David, your mother
misses you, we both do.

I know, I know,
I do, I get it.

And when did you start
drinking so much again?

Mom, please, stop.

No! No more lies.

Lies.

Do you wanna talk
about fucking lies,

- mother?
- David!

What did I do to make
you treat me like this?

I'm sorry.

Dad, I'm sorry, mom,
I'm really sorry.

I don't belong
here, I've gotta go.

No, stay.

Mom, I don't belong here.

You do belong here,
this is your home.

I don't know where I
belong, this isn't it.

I'm lost

- and I don't know
- No!

- No, no, no, you're not lost,
- where to go.

you have so much to give.

Mom, you gotta stop,
this isn't about you!

David, we love you, but
you being home like this,

maybe it's best you leave.

And lookit, you get down
the road a little ways

and you figure out
which way you wanna go,

you come on back home,

we'll be here for you.

We'll always be here for you.

I really tried everything
to fix this and I can't.

Maybe stop trying so hard.

Amanda,
what's this all about?

You know we never
talked about it.

Not once.

Your mother,

she says she doesn't
wanna live in the past.

Live in the past?

All she does live in the past.

She's been trapped
there since Bobby died.

Did you know that I
can still remember

the look on her face
when Bobby died?

I can remember her yelling at me

in front of everyone
at the funeral

because I didn't want to
put a rose on the coffin.

I remember thinking that
that was the stupidest thing,

but she got so mad.

I was just scared, that's all.

I didn't want that to be
my last memory of him.

But she got so mad at me.

It was like she hated me.

No, no, Amanda, how
can you think that?

Because it's true.

No, no, come on, no.

Your mother doesn't hate you.

Then tell me why
I found my ring

hidden away in her jewelry box?

Ring, what ring?

Bobby's ring!

Don't you remember?

His grammar school ring,
the one he gave to me

when he got into high school,

the one I've been
wearing around my neck

literally every
day since he died.

I'm sure it was some mistake.

Maybe she found it cleaning
up and she mistook it?

God, no, dad, she didn't
mis take it for anything.

She took it because she
doesn't want me wearing it.

Why can't you see that?

She stole the ring
that Bobby gave to me.

Honey, I didn't
know you were home.

Obviously, otherwise
I don't think

you'd be talking
about me this way.

No, no, now listen, it's no
big deal, it's just a mix-up,

Amanda misplaced-

- No, I didn't
misplace anything.

It was stolen and it's still
sitting right where you put it.

Listen, I'm sure

your mother had
a good intention.

Enough, George!

I did take the ring, is
that what you wanna hear?

He gave it to me, not
you, he gave it to me!

You didn't deserve
that ring, you never did!

If Bobby could see
the way you grew up.

The way you hold yourself!

He'd be disgusted

- by the sight of you.
- Pat!

Fuck you!

- Stop it, stop it.
- You're a liar.

- Stop it, both of you.
- A troubled liar,

and what's more, you're a loser.

Anything you set your mind
to, you could've done,

be a great dancer,
or a gymnast, but no,

you sit in this godforsaken
town and you waste away

and I can't even stand
to look at you anymore.

Well then, I'll just
make it easy for you.

I won't be around anymore

for you to be
continually disappointed.

No, no, no, wait.

Goodbye mother.

No, no, wait, Amanda, wait!

Amanda,

wait!

Amanda?

Amanda!

Amanda!

Get away from me, you perv.

Calm
down, what happened?

You lied, you all lie.

Shit.

You lied about everything.

Christ, okay, Amanda.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hey, stop, stop, stop.

Get away from
me, I swear to God,

I'll fucking launch
myself off this thing.

Just stop.

Amanda, Amanda, stop!

Just climb down.

No.

I like it up here.

It's peaceful.

Well, you're
a bigger man than me

because just looking at
you's making me dizzy.

Big pussy.

What, was this your big plan?

You're gonna climb up
there and jump off?

No.

You know, if you jump you
probably not even gonna die.

You're just gonna hurt yourself.

No, a warm bed, pills,
sleep, and then gone.

No more pain, no one'll miss me.

That's your only
reason for living,

so nobody's gonna miss you?

No.

Well good because
I'd tell you to jump.

That's a joke.

That's a joke, stop, Amanda.

Tell
me what happened.

I told you.

I wanna know everything.

Now, just tell me!

Okay, we were screwing
around with the guns.

Bobby was standing a few
feet to the right of me

and we always knew how to
take care of each other,

we always did, we knew
what we were doing, but,

he must a dropped something
because he bent down,

I think he bent
down in front of me.

I was onto my last round

and I wanted to pick
off the last can, and,

I couldn't see what he was
doing, I had my eye closed.

I was looking down the scope

and I had the cross hairs
right on the bottom of the can

because that's where he said
it was always easiest to aim.

My finger was on the trigger

and I started to gently
pull back and then,

my scope blacked out.

I didn't know what it was,

and by the time I realized
what it might've been

I had pulled on the trigger.

I dropped the gun

and I saw him lying on the
ground in front of me, that's it.

That's it, I swear.

Do you think he knew?

What?

That he was gonna die?

Amanda, no, if I didn't
have time to realize

then how, if...

What, if you didn't
have enough time to what?

I just wonder why I can
remember fistfights and

What, David?

running home from
school with a bloody nose,

but I can't remember the
face of my best friend

on the day that he
died in front of me.

How did I forget?

And it feels like
I've always known.

What are you
remembering? Just tell me.

Enough, enough, enough!

I can't tell you anything

that's gonna take away the
pain or bring Bobby back.

I'm sorry, I can't.

I can't even be sure
what actually happened.

What I'm remembering happened.

But you believe-

- It doesn't matter
what I believe.

'Cause all that does
is keep us stuck here!

Stuck in a place that
we can't move on from.

And all that would do, Amanda,
look at me, look at me.

And all that would
do is free my guilt

and cause you more pain
and more confusion.

And I'm not gonna do that,
that's not why I came back.

Then why the fuck
did you come back?

Because this has to end.

This has to end.

We've gotta let go of Bobby
if we're gonna move forward,

that's it, we gotta let go.

All right?

Both of us.

I don't know how to
forgive you for what you did.

You don't have to,

you can come down and you
can hate me all you want.

I didn't say hate.

My mom, I hate.

I can't stand to live
with her anymore.

My dad's just too
weak to see it.

You can help him see it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Amanda, look at
me, just come down.

Hey, it's gonna be all right.

Hey.

Hey, it's okay, it's gonna
be all right, I promise.

It will now, it will be.

You really gonna be okay?

Yeah, I'm really
gonna be okay.

You're
not bullshitting me?

Are you gonna be
looking over my shoulder

the rest of my life?

If I have to, yes.

I'm always gonna be
here for you, okay?

I know.

Thank you, David.

Goodnight, McDowell.

What, was this your big plan?

A warm bed,
pills, sleep, and then gone.

No more pain, no one'll miss me.

You're
like, really good.

I'm not good enough.

Says who?

Says me.

And if I'm not good enough
to get where I wanna go then,

what's even the point of trying?

My dad's just too
weak to see it.

You can
help him see it.

No, no.

Oh my God, oh
my God, oh my God.

No.

Is he?

I'll go call the ambulance.

No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, David, no, no, no.

I'm gonna go call the ambulance.

Amanda.

I'm gonna go
call the ambulance.

Amanda.

Amanda, Amanda.

Amanda.

Amanda.

What?

David.

It's gonna be okay.

Amanda.

Amanda.

What, David, what, what, what?

What?

Did you take the pills?

No, no, I didn't take
them, I didn't take them.

I didn't take them,
I'm gonna be okay.

Good.

I'm gonna be okay.

Good.

You're gonna be okay.

I'm gonna go call
the ambulance, okay?

David, David, David,
stay with me, okay?

No, no.

No, no,

no!

No.

No, no!

No!

No.

Don't let Violet's
life be ruined.

I won't, it wasn't her fault,

and it wasn't yours either.

Go.

I'm gonna set the
table for the three of us

in case David makes it
home for dinner tonight.

Dad.